/lit/ - Literature

>>14207488
Do you think that if Ed Gein had a kigu suit he might not have done what he did?

> mfw light train driver announces the route by himself and wishes me a pleasant ride
i love trains

>>14207493
i'm certain there are people on this board more deprived than Ed, but nowadays it's so easy to safely fuel your perversions without ever acting on them
specific fetish content is only harmful for retards who'd hurt themselves on anything anyway. abundance of plain vanilla porn is bad though

>>14207488
I should be reading the Bible and studying and exercising in my free time. But I don’t do these things. I browse 4chan for hours, entertain lusty thoughts, and play fortnite. I feel as though I’m always near the edge of a cliff, with part of my body hanging off. Every now and then a strong wind will come, and I’ll use minimum effort to keep myself from falling off, but I never seem to find the will to walk as far away from the ledge as possible. Even if I know what I’m supposed to do, it’s not guaranteed that I do it. I am so weak.

>>14207488
Lately, I feel a soft and steady warmth filling my body.

I feel this way because I am beginning to understand what it means to truly love and to be loved. When I come here to these threads I often see two types of love-based posts. The first is dark and brooding, written by those who write about its unattainability and the illusory nature of love, those frustrated by self-fulfilling prophecies, their own limitations, or the bad people they encounter. The other is the seraph who lifts up the woman in question and adorns her with accolades and sunlight until she is an alien Venus on a far away shrine in the sky, no longer touchable, no longer human, only beheld. They are baroque on their contrasts, and both disconnected from reality, I believe. I used to think that way.

What I’ve learned is that the real thing is so much calmer than that, so much sturdier, so much more endearing. It’s made of flannel shirts and cold New England winter nights, of notifications which lead to coffee cups and museum visits. It’s pauses in conversations while eating when eyes meet, its car rides, and time, and slow progress, of noticing small things about her, and her about me. For without these subtle items I do not know her, and she does not know me. Without them I am like any other of 1,000 handsome men in the world to her, and she is like any other 1,000 beautiful women in the world to me. It’s knowing where she comes from and how she thinks, how her inner world functions and the myriad things I find exploring it. It’s about her doing the same for me, and both of us listening to the other without ourselves to get in the way. To listen with only the intention of listening is how one first begins to build love. If I can meet her where she is, then I am truly there for her, and her for me. And in this way I find myself embraced in this willingness to be vulnerable, to listen and tell stories, that I have found in nobody else. It is this quiet thing she has in her which says “I am here and I see you” and I want to give it back for her tenfold for all he world to see. It makes me melt.

And nothing is perfect, we have our quarrels but it’s alright because we know what lies there beneath them. This past week she said to me “we’re a good team, you and I.” And I said “yeah, we really are.” I’ve never been on a team before. When I was young, I found myself shaking quite often. I had a tremor, I was abused by my family. I did not touch, I did not trust, but when I am with her I do not shake. I only glow, and I never knew I was capable of that.

Thank you, I love you so much.

>>14207553
my man's gonna make it

>>14207553
Faggot

>>14207499
I love trains too. I like to look out of the window and see what's passing by. sometimes it's people, and sometimes it's just trees.

I kissed her worried face as a promise of my safe return and also because I'd never kissed a girl before.

>>14207576
>>14207603

>>14207488
I let the memories of people judging me and snickering at me halt my existence outside my house. Should I keep listening to them? Or should I forget everything about them and try to live again?

>>14207488
I never liked anything that I ever took up as a hobby during my childhood. Sure, I did it, and got super good and focused into it but I only enjoyed the notion of getting better at something and rising above others until I hit a brick wall and was faced with the task of actually putting in my all. Now, I come to the realization that I will never, ever put an impact onto the world, maybe affect individuals as everyone in this world does but never a group or huge selection or leave some type of temporary legacy. I'll just do what I can, read what I like, write what I want, and write it just to have it being written because I want to. There is no reason for me to live in delusions of possible grandeur, we all know are place and yea, sure, all hope can't be lost so early but their was truly no hope to begin with. Everyone deep down knows what their made to be and I was simply made to be, and do nothing of significance. Yes, this is another blog post, yes I will probably write poems and books that will be nothing other than 'my diary desu' variants. So what, who the fuck cares. If I was so emotionally inclined I'd just devote my life to philosophy but because I am how I am I remain stuck with a infinite loop of loving and hating, two things that are pointless and time consuming. So be it, so I am, I'll live doing what I want even though what I want is only a singular thing that I mildly lean towards, that I just simply gravitate towards.

ty for reading my attempt at a (fake) deep blog post. Love you all.

>>14207488
It paralyzed him for a few minutes, the corpse was there, getting hit by the river water, when he reacted he started running, darting away as fast as possible from the gruesome scene, his mind also was racing inside him, a blur of thoughts appeared on his head, he couldn't catch any of them, he lost cohesion in his mind, everything he could understand is to run, like some primal instinct had awoken.


im starting to write my novel about drug trafficking in the frontier of argentina with bolivia, what does /lit/ think of this paragraph?

>>14207721
Hey anon, really feeling your struggle here, i have been under similar thoughts the last 2 years of my life, see all those influencers on instagram? see all the stupid people on the internet that get recognized without having any fucking redeemable qualities about them? Keep pursuing art and philosophy, there is nothing else worth pursuing in this world, there is no need for an impact, there is no shame in being unknown, it is the true essence of human life, you and all of the unkowns are the carriers of the torch of true humanity.

I want the kind of love that can violate the world

>>14207689
hearty kek

>lie down to go to sleep
>endless anxiety depression thoughts about how i fucked everything up
>finally sleep
>wake up
>lying there
>endless anxiety depression thoughts about how i fucked everything up

Sometimes I really wonder if one of those soul neutralization pills all the normies are on would be heaven

I keep getting drunk and fighting homeless people. I think I hope one of them pulls a knife and ends my miserable excuse for a life.

>>14207488
That painting is odd. The face and hair look dainty and feminine, yet the musculature and shape of the arms and body are obviously masculine. Also what's up with that wine glass? It looks more like a glass bowl than a traditional glass. Why is it so wide? What the heck kind of painting is this?

>>14207765
>The face and hair look dainty and feminine, yet the musculature and shape of the arms and body are obviously masculine
have you never been young, anon?

>>14207762
y-you just stole that from American Psycho, r-right anon?

>>14207765
he is bacchus, and he offers you only pleasure

>>14207488
T. C.

She was pleasant to converse with

>>14207780
Is he going to offer me his baccpucci?

Why are both hyper-masculine and hyper-feminine men associated with homosexuality? What's the deal with that?

>>14207488
>I'm 30, live with my mother
>I only leave the house to get drugs or booze
>recovering from voyeuristic paraphilia
>stuck in 2016, last time I had ambition
>since then I have damaged myself with drugs, my memory is terrible
>also morally wounded, I stole, fucked people over, indulged base and degenerate impulses
>basically non-existent hygiene
>I had an acute psychotic episode that still tests my hold on reality

>>14207810
yeah, he's greek

I feel so incomplete like a good chunk of me is repressed under the ocean of anxiety. Maybe the fact that i severely burned my hand when i was 11 months old had to do with it.

I hate niggers

I wish I could find somebody to help me craft a fun story and then write out those ideas together.

>>14207846
I remember when my friend and I would spend all weekend writing dumb stories. And then we got older and he didn't want to do that anymore. It was fun while it lasted.

>>14207836
Change "incomplete" for "incompetent" then you have me

>>14207851
Sorry, anon. I'd be open to writing with you, but I'm sure it wouldn't be the same.

I have completely lost any interest in long term planning. I don't see a future, just rosary of moments where I am slightly older. I can hardly remember tomorrow, yesterday is a blur.

>>14207855
>incompetent
about what?

>>14207864
That's okay, I'm a pretty poor writer anyway. What kind of things do you like to write about, anyway?

>>14207884
I have varied interests, but right now I'm really trying to flesh out an idea that plays on role reversal. I'm thinking maybe something not too far off from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but with a bit more romance with the girl as the lead in the relationship.

>>14207836
>I feel so incomplete like a good chunk of me is repressed under the ocean of anxiety.
This is how I felt when I was younger. I still feel it sometimes but it's better now. Just gotta keep getting yourself out of your comfort zone and making pragmatic analysis of your goals and what's impeding them.

>Maybe the fact that i severely burned my hand when i was 11 months old had to do with it.
retarded and psychoanalysispilled

This is precisely the kind of bad analysis you should stay away from. Don't let your life be made a structural-linguistic game.

>>14207836
is your hand alright?
it's okay being who you are, anon

>>14207891
Cool. I like vampires. Good luck with it anon. Hopefully one day you might find the kind of girl you like to write about (if that's what you're looking for).

Why don't they make prescription Pince-Nez's anymore bro's? i just want to LARP as Checkov but the best i can find is pic related, but they aren't prescription :/

>>14207938
Thanks, anon! It is what I'm looking for, though I doubt I'll ever find one exactly like the one I'd write. Haha.

>>14207944
>LARP as Checkov
From Star Trek?

>>14207946
By Checkov I obviously meant Checkov those digits

>>14207896
I just want to know the reason behind my current state and psychology provides the most believable answers. Sure it will never give 100% correct answer atleast i dont have to fight against invisible enemy.

A bit of gratitude for the anons that mentioned Machado de Assis here.
Very entertaining stuff

I noticed that I become afraid of other people, not social anxiety and awkwardness stuff, but more pure terror of others that I am holding myself not to run as fast as possible. this is really not normal. Jesus have mercy on my soul.

>>14207958
Aye aye ciptain

>>14207964
the fucK? i've just started reading him at a whim and now i see this post. haven't seen him mentioned on lit before (as far as I know). evil psychological brain efect

>>14207965
>Whoever has succumbed to torture can no longer feel at home in the world. The shame of destruction cannot be erased. Trust in the world, which already collapsed in part at the first blow, but in the end, under torture, fully, will not be regained. That one’s fellow man was experienced as the antiman remains in the tortured person as accumulated horror. It blocks the view into a world in which the principle of hope rules. One who was martyred is a defenseless prisoner of fear. It is fear that henceforth reigns over him.

>>14207945
Well, anybody could spend all day fantasizing and constructing their perfect mate in their heads; but that's probably not very productive when it comes down to really dating.

>>14207762
absolutely white trash noir pilled

>>14207815
the only men that care about their looks enough to keep it extreme are gay

>>14207819
First of all, take a shower, stinky. It's heavenly to stand under hot water while high, and from clean body stems the clearer mind

>>14207846
> had a best friend of my life at 14-16, literal best conversations i've ever had, we shared walls of text
> seemingly a bond of divine nature
> he just naturally grew out of my interests and became a flaming normie, like he turned fucking 15
sad!

>>14208049
Was he cute?

>>14207762
That's pretty cool. Are you a big guy naturally? Do you take any martial arts or lift?

>>14207994
>evil psychological brain effect
green house candidate detected

Test

>>14208061
icles

I was thinking about a common question people like asking, that is what would you do if money were no object for you. My answer, after some deliberation, is to directly help others. But how could I help others, I wonder, especially considering my unfriendly, schizoidish personality? Children have said I'm angry or scary when seeing my face. Elderly complain and tell me to smile. Neither can I really relate to them either, nor the elderly, nor drug users, because I'm not a normie, never socialized outside classrooms, never used drugs. So my one possible passion in life is probably impossible for me to perform with my personality.

I wish I could hang out with some of you guys in real life. That being said, I think 4chan is more or less like some kind of enormous toxic waste depository, and if it were to ever be unleashed on the world, chaos and turmoil would result. That's why we all have to be far away from one another, separated by our computer screens. I imagine too that a large amount of people that use this site are antisocial weirdos like me, and it's a cruel irony of life that we will never be friends.

I'm a crazy retarded faggot gaod damn
I think childhood trauma, constant anxiety and years of isolation did it's toll on me

>>14208119
I have made some lovely friends here. Unfortunately we all live in separate countries, because I would go and see them in a heartbeat otherwise, and see how it might work out. Maybe it would, maybe it wouldn't, but I would take the chance.

>>14208119
I wish too but im a boring person. Im not that smart when it comes to philosophy or book analysis.

>>14207765
Caravaggio used young ready-at-hand laborers as his models for bodies in many paintings, and though opinions differ on how much the faces are versions of his own, most of them are weirdly similar to eachother as oddly mismatched to the bodies. Convenience couldn't have been his predominant motive for that, but I can hardly guess what it is.

I really wish my friend would want his peepee inside me as much as I do. his blue eyes kill me every time

>>14208213
I really wish I were you friend.

>>14208218
but you're my friend silly

>>14208221
My eyes are green though, does that matter?

>>14208223
green does it neatly. I don't even think it's about the eye color, his eyes aren't as pretty as his personality

>>14207488
A few hours ago I abruptly woke from a long dream with a scenic ending that made me think of a near-synonym for awe that another poster may have been seeking this week. Frisson. View from car window on the edge of a sheer cloud-high cliff, overlooking almost perfectly level terrain dominated by an inland sea in a flat calm, the curving sweep of its shore broadly fringed with urban might, mature in its power and faintly terrifying, yet absurdly frail compared to nature's elevations. The vertigo of felt comparisons generally.

>>14208213
Don't lust after a friend. It's unhealthy.

>>14208247
Very smooth. Are you going to tell him? I remember being in love with a friend. It probably wouldn't have worked out because he had a girlfriend, but sometimes regret not telling him how I felt anyway. Or maybe it's better to just let sleeping dogs lie.

My only friend got really sick and we both thought it was only a cold. He was sneezing a lot and sitting around and wasnt eating but thought it would just blow over

On day 7 he noticed a golf ball sized lump that was not there before, protruding from his stomach. Doc said based on location and stiffness and size... prognosis is poor

It happened really fast and honestly, even if i spent thousands of dollars trying to save him. It wouldnt have done anything permanent. Would have been just months of surgery and torture. [do i torture you because of my own pain?]

My family is over a thousand miles away. I live in a new city. Hes been with me for years as I try to find myself. I havent wanted to make any friends, and thats not his fault.

My narcolepsy has been worsening and I dislike being alone for months at a time but I dont want to go out. No one wants to be around a chronically fatigued depressed person. No one except for you and now your gone.

I have vivid dreams every night and i saw you the other night. I knew in the dream it wasnt real but it didnt matter..

i finally could feel happy about narcolepsy

>>14208254
>>14208255
I'm keeping it for myself, he hasn't shown any tips of feeling the same way. but we talk about moving in and living together constantly and I'm afraid I might accept it for the wrong reasons

>>14208270
i wish i had a boyfriend....

>>14208459
Thats gay

>>14208596
you're gay

Women are slowly phasing out men.

>>14208626
Because men are becoming women. Theres less and less tension between masculine and feminine.

McDonald's chicken mcnugget is a work of culinary genius. You may scoff. It's just junk fast food after all. But they are perfect little gems of saltiness and savoriness, of outer crunchiness counterbalanced by inner softness. It's no wonder probably trillions of these golden nuggets have been consumed. French cuisine may have duck à l'orange, but only American ingenuity and industry could deliver to the billions of the earth these magical nuggies affordable to all.

>>14208626
Don't be a pussy. No they're not.

Look at these triggered pussies shocked and awed by the scientific miracle that is the mcnugget.

AAAA I HATE THIS WORLD
THIS WORLD IS AGAINST ME
WHEN I FINALLY STOP WORKING IN TWO WEEKS IM DONE WITH THIS SHIT
I CANT FUCKING WAIT TO LOCK MYSELF UP IN MY ROOM AND NEVER TALK TO ANOTHER PERSON AGAIN

I seem to be better off than most people on this site. I have experienced lengthy periods of happiness, have a healthy and active social life, and have had a fair amount of successful romances. Yet still I feel like a loser to the extent of feeling like I actually belong here. Am I weird or is life weird?

>>14207488
Attention span deteriorated more than I realized. I'm more addicted to the internet and wasting time than I realized. Breaking free from the NEET lifestyle might be harder than I expected

I feel the need to create but I can never pin down one medium that draws me in the most. I also struggle with the fact that I feel like I have nothing to say.

>>14207488
I get that the format of this website means the only thing you can write, in relation to it, is the most postmodern "self-aware" ironic-ironic tripe "lit," without coming off pretentious or what have you. I get that it's mostly just a function of the nature of it being an online forum. But, you'd think some of the larger projects put out by /lit/ would have made some attempt to write something that takes itself seriously. Something for which the ultimate point wasn't a self-righteous smirk over a 5 dollar cup of coffee from across the room by an undergraduate student who carries books in his bag but prefers to read the Wikipedia plot summaries of them and the lives of their authors because that's all he needs to be present in the social competition that is comparing himself to people like him. For all the people here who bristle whenever you call anything "postmodern," probably because they know it's all they are, even though they have the clarity of instinct to be annoyed by it, you'd think the board as a whole could produce something with different aspirations, than ironic meditations by a chirping group of young people with too little life experience to say anything worth reading at all, in the form of a novel-length shitpost.

But the Legacy of Totalitarianism in a Tundra was a gigantic postmodern shitpost; a poor attempt to imitate the shock value of "writers' writers" like Pynchon. L'anomie was more of the same. The various /lit/ "periodicals" published over the years are all nothing but mediocre poetry and postmodern attempts at the same stupid vapid worthless stylized kitsch. /lit/ as a whole has produced nothing, which is a shame because one could imagine a place with as much countercultural weight as this anonymous forum--that has been in and out of the geopolitical headlines for years now, implicated in numerous reports of strange goings-on, which (at least on the surface) relies on anonymity online in an age where no other place can afford for that to be part of its business model, which is specifically focused on close-reading works of literature and philosophy from all walks of history, could produce something even moderately interesting in the form of a collaborative work.

But it hasn't.

>>14208933
Just try every bigger medium even for a short time like week.

>>14208984
Really, the only medium I've actually pursued with any seriousness was music, and even then, most of my songs were half-baked. I've always done well in English classes, and I feel like I have a good grasp language and grammar, but I honestly feel like I'm too autistic to come up with a compelling story. I could be wrong, but I feel like I can't force something good.

>>14208746
1.Men are violence, women are nurturing.
1.1 Violence has a limit because men are dependent upon women for reproduction and nurturing.
1.2 Nurturing has no limit because it is the antithesis of violence.
2 Society is stabilized by communal nurturing.
2.1 Men no longer need violence to receive nurturing.
2.2 Men lose their nerve for violence.
2.3 Men receive nurturing by becoming nurturing.
2.4 Men become women.
3 Violence disappears.
3.1 A matriarchal utopia arises.
3.2 But there are not resources for it to function.
3.3 There are no violent women to take for themselves.
3.4 An order of the average mobilizes in favor of the average.

A The feminine degenerates the human race into non existence.

B Violence is relearned, men re emerge, society starts again.

>>14208992
You've probably heard it said 'writing is revising.' This is true for all forms of artistic enterprise. The initial inclination to make something is not unique to you or me, even though we fancy ourselves artists at the precise moment we imagine ourselves doing something. But what you should understand, as well as I constantly remind my own dumb ass, is that the initial inclination is in fact common to everyone. The fact that you can't seem to stick to something long enough to see it through even in a horrible larval state--complete--doesn't make you a struggling artist. It makes you a layman. The struggling artists struggles through revision and tooling. Until you can see things through to completion you may as well just focus on your day job, and stop fancying yourself anything other than the people all around you.

>>14208953
I put real effort into my contributions to Tundra, Hypersphere, and Burgerpunk. I actually kind of hate how easy it is for me to write when I know I am contributing anonymously to a meaningless project. Some of my best writing ever is in those books.

I’ve come to the conclusion interacting with people doesn’t come naturally to me because most of the time I have nothing to say. If I’m conversing with someone about a topic I have thought a lot on, having a conversation is easy, even enjoyable. I’d go as far to say that in those rare situations I’m somewhat charismatic. But most of the time human interaction is composed of talking about nothing. Not literally nothing of course, but nothing worth taking the time and effort to communicate over. Nothing one can have interesting thoughts an ideas on. I don’t understand why people feel the need to always be communicating. Why can’t we just speak when necessary or when we want to discuss thoughts and ideas? What is the purpose of talking about the mundane?

>>14209026
I'm glad the post reached its target audience. Your best isn't good. Do something with how that makes you feel.

>>14209024
but thats a gamble - which area to choose

>>14207553
>flannel
>notifications
>coffee cups
Faggot.Hipster, middlebrow, faggot. You'll never pierce through the layer of mediocrity that covers your existence, no matter how hard you try to maintain the "slightly above average" status you might think you have . That is what is on my mind when I read your drawn out, inane faggotry

>>14207493
I think a lot of serial killers and sickos of the past were made for the internet era but were born too early. Imagine de Sade if he just had access to all that hentai.

>>14209164
The only way to win is not to play anon. Best not to do anything in case you bet on the wrong horse, because gambling is the right metaphor for how this works. Good eye.

>>14207553
niggers tongue my anus

I was working on a farm in the mountains of Northern Kyushu when the Tokyo-gangster-turned-farmer host of mine took me to the café of his ex-girlfriend and I got introduced to Rahel. She was a porcelain figure of prime German genes, traveling Japan in all her pristine, nerdy glory, and of course she wanted to try hitchhiking together with me, as we were going towards the same direction; north.

We caught a ride towards Beppu, to escape the small mountain roads, and from there hit the highway. Got picked up so fast we could barely rest between rides, no surprise there as Rahel spoke fluent Japanese, and her beauty clashed perfectly with my unwashed hitchhiker attitude. A couple of businessmen got us onto the mainland in their tiny company car, which was great as it meant skipping the road toll for the bridge, and an elderly couple got us all the way to Okayama where I decided to check in to the same hotel as her, since I was two days ahead of schedule, and I felt like going drinking. So did she, as she never really partied before, and I promised to take care of her.

The night went on with us perusing the local izakayas, chasing sashimi and tempura with Asahi and Kurokirishima. She wanted to get some Japanese dick, so I tried to hook her up with a couple of cute dudes, who didn't have an ounce of taste and therefore turned her down. She managed to wingman me a couple of ladies, but I had severe whiskey dick and ended up not doing shit. Not like I was actually interested, with her in the room.

Around 2AM, both of us completely blasted, we meet a group of locals who speak English. They invite us drinking, and we go along to all the sleazy clubs they drag us to. In hindsight, I don't know why I didn't notice they were yakuza earlier, given how much respect other people paid to them wherever we went. After dancing our asses off, we crashed at a 24/7 izakaya that served fish, and then things got ugly. The young boss wanted Rahel, and she was very much not interested in him. I got between them and things got increasingly tense, until, when she went to the toilet, he straight up threatened to kill me if I didn't fuck back to the hotel and leave her behind. So, when she came back to the table, I grabbed her and ran out of the place.

All the way back to the hotel, I kept us on large, public roads, and frantically scanned alleyways for scooters or vans coming our way. She was shaking and crying, constantly asking why, and I just told her to shut the fuck up as the adrenaline and survival instinct mixed with the booze had me in one of the most intense rushes of my life. Back at the hotel, I sat her down and explained to her what had happened, and I suggested that we simply got the fuck out of town, not risking the retribution of a young boss with blue balls. So we caught a cab to the nearest highway rest stop, and at 5 in the morning we caught a ride with a family heading to a small town a bit outside Okayama.

>>14209293
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1G8XQA9QFS0

>>14207519
Get a hold of yourself.

edited boomer comics are the pinnacle of literary skill and profoundness

Often when walking alone I imagine the joy of being instantly transported to a mystical plane. In a blink I would be floating in ether, a heaviness of blue, like gelatin, absorbing the world. I think of it ass a revelation, but rather than struck with prophecy, I would be jolted into the unseen for a time inimitable by the material realm. I figure this is a common fantasy but I'm not sure.

If you take what would be the most profound and life-improving situation for any person, no matter how surreal, and write about it, it's a guaranteed success. This is why isekai is so popular.

Why am I so fat

>>14209533
Because you eat more calories than your body use. Either eat less or move more to remedy it.

As to why you eat so much, probably a lot of underlying mental issues.

>>14209478
based, sometimes i stop just to have a quick glance at the divine images my brain can create, daydreaming is the most patrician leisure possible

Mom just bought me these new boxers, I don't know what they are made of but they are the comfiest thing ever

soviet postcards with factories, just the best

What am I doing with my life? There must be something I can do that won’t feel so pointless and unfulfilling.

I’m afraid that I’m some kind of idiot, or not fully formed person who needs to be told what to do and is incapable of self direction.

>>14209573
Humans need struggle, or we'd never get anything done. But in an age of plenty, you need to find out for yourself what you wish to struggle for.

>>14209573

You need a balance. The post-modern trend is against higher guidance but I believe in self-direction in conjunction with that of one higher.

>>14209624
The post-modern trend is to strive as high as possible with no regard for the inevitable crash. It's like people looked at Icarus and thought "lmao I can fly higher than that nigga, hold my Juul"

>>14209624
Where does one find guidance as an adult?

Are nihilism and misanthropy meant to be overcome or accepted and used in healthier ways?

>>14209187
based

>>14209710
you can either cope with it or overcome it.

>>14208001
Thanks anon, reading this cheers me up.

I'am 24 and my life is already over

>>14209951
its not over until you say its over.

>>14209951
I'm 26 and my life has barely begun.

>>14209971
It's over when life throws the dice and it lands badly for you.>>14209979 good for you

>>14207488
All day I dream about cooming

>>14209951
It’s not over until you’re dead so maybe you’re just in the last chapter before the epilogue

AAAAAAAAAA I WANT A GIRLFRIEND SO BAD BUT I FUCKING HATE THE MINDGAMES THAT PEOPLE EXPECT YOU TO PARTICIPATE IN IN ORDER TO COURT ONE ANOTHER

I JUST WANT TO MUTUALLY AGREE TO CUDDLING AND COMFY FUCKING WITH A GIRL AS DORKY AND ASOCIAL AS ME SO THAT I WON'T BE COLD THROUGH THE WINTER

What's the next step of coping after you realise you will never be happy with your looks, heigh, thoughts, temperament etc. How do i structure my time to live at least a somewhat joyful life? To me this is a step forward but i don't know what step to take afterward.

Life is shit and it's getting worse. But that's the price we pay for being human, and I can't blame myself. I can only blame the world for being so fucking stupid. Your parents are all fucked up... You're going to need a therapist to help you make sense of your life, but there's a good chance you're not going to like your therapist. You can't be yourself with these people. You might have had an emotionally stable childhood, but the people around you were fucked up. You will never be good at something and will always be disappointed. You will want to change your life. You are going to have to start from scratch. You might end up doing things you never imagined you would do. You may have an empty feeling in your chest. I mean, that's part of growing up. You will have to find your own way. And if you don't want to live what do you do? You're gonna look at the stars, and your family, and you're gonna look at the Earth, your micropenis and you're gonna think about fucking everything, and then you're gonna wake up and say, "Fuck it. I'm going to fucking kill myself." You feel miserable, but then you realize "Hey, at least I'm not black." You try to perserve for one more day. You might see some cute girl at the store, or on a crowded street. Never in the club. You don't go to clubs. She has blonde hair, long legs and protruding breasts. She looks happy. You think "Maybe she's my soulmate." Do you talk to her? Hell no. She probably has a boyfriend already. Maybe she's a lesbian. You think you might have anal cancer, but don't call a doctor. What if he (or she, sorry) thinks your a fucking homo?

I have a constant rage inside me that I bury beneath a rock-solid layer of discipline, and curb by working out. But there's not a single waking moment where I don't want to go fucking apeshit and tear everything around me apart in blind aggression, and I'm starting to wonder if this is simply the nature of being male.

>>14209951
no

>>14210012
>It's over when life throws the dice and it lands badly for you
I know this but you can still hope for the best.

>>14207488
cooming. That's literally all that's in my mind these days. I havent had sex in years and I keep getting exposed to sexualized or pornographic content. not just online but irl too. coworkers, sluts on the street, you name it. Im getting very close to hiring a lady of the night who can suck me dry but im too chicknshit to do it. Im scared I might catch a vd or get caught in a sting or some other absurd unlucky happenstance.

I truly wonder if I'm ever going to find my life or if I'm always going to have one foot in the grave. I'm currently in a small city in Europe thousands of miles from home without a friend in sight, I barely speak the local language beyond the necessities of my day to day errands. I have a postgraduate education from a very respectable university, and will likely be getting my doctorate soon. But my life is empty and I suspect it always will be. Looking back at my youth it is lonely and strange. Young adulthood is filled with drugs, violence, and as much indulgence as I could manage, which ended in a physical and mental breakdown. I spent years in menial jobs during the day and reading and drinking and night. Now, life has changed despite all odds and I am looking at the prospect of a happy future that I never expected. I lift almost daily and have stopped all drugs and violence for years now. The problem is, my life is populated by the dead. The presence of dead friends, dead ancestors, ghosts, angels, devils, and gods is so intertwined with my day to day existence that it has become as real to me as the air I breathe. Psychedelics, prayer, and meditation during years of isolation have made it this way and it makes sense, the most sense of anything.

I don't want to die yet but death appeals to me, if only I had something worth dying for. I am jealous of the saints and martyrs, but will accept my lot as I have been given it. I am lost in life and shut out of death for now. Whatever happens I feel like it will be hard to adjust to life even if things go perfectly from this point on.

>>14210443
do you happen to know where that gif is from? it's great

>>14209704

Religion & Philosophy

Sometimes I make REALLY stupid, terrible, or cringe posts, and I instantly regret making them, and I feel ashamed and somebody calls me a retard and I feel terrible for the rest of the day

>>14209951
why do you think that?

I’ve started to regain a sense of wonder. I spent some time today thinking about the planets, it’s incredilble to consider what they *are*, beyond bright spots in the sky. I felt awe contemplating it. Modern lie may be a meme in many senses but the world is still amazing, I think. Maybe I’ll go stargazing tonight.

>>14207488
I wish I could be a cool bounty hunter like spike from cowboy bebop or guts from berserk and not just a enormous faggot all the time

>>14210918
Retard

Whenever I see my nieces I imagine their dead older brother, who was stillborn, standing near them as a translucent presence. I remember the first time we visited his grave together and the older of the two nieces understood for the first time that she had a brother and that he was dead.

>>14211095
Don't be mean to anon he sounds cute.

>>14211117
Faggot

>>14211122
Rude.

I hate living in modernity, the modern West, and especially modern America and I can’t reconcile it. It’s all just so cold and mechanical and ugly and shallow and meaningless. Worst of all, it seems there’s just no path for redemption left anymore. It feels like there’s no avenue left to escape the event horizon of modernity’s void.

People like to fantasize about antiquity or the Middle Ages and others like to harp on the fact that it would’ve been equally difficult if not more difficult for say a peasant then and yeah that’s true, but those times also allowed for a sort of heroic redemption and purposeful experience that to me just genuinely doesn’t seem to exist today. You could argue it’s just an aesthetic, but that’s actually quite telling. The ancient aesthetic is heroic and poetic and ours is just some sort of weird conglomerate of filthy chaos bound and contained by a force of nothingness. It’s gross. Isn’t that telling then?

I’m not even a guenonposter. I’ve never read guenon though I admit I get the premise and can’t exactly disagree. We waste our time talking about 401Ks and Netflix binges. We have ultimate freedom to choose such a wide variety of things, that is to say as long as those things are of no real importance.

Career? Hobbies? Who cares? You can’t take it with you. When Bush told the country to keep spending after 9/11 perhaps the only moment in the millennial life so far that actually lifted the veil of modernity for a brief moment, it told the whole story? The world has been reduced to price tags and if not that, simply enjoyable time wasting - Netflix, Weightlifting. Take your pick. Enjoyable, but both equally pointless in and of themselves.

The worst part is in the midst of all the hideous ugliness, base materialism, psychological chaos, and existential nihilism it really does feel like there’s just no means of escape. The heroic spirit has nowhere left to manifest itself and that is the most unbearable.

I feel has though there’s no honorable or redemptive route with which I can steer my life. I’m just fated to struggle or sink in the quicksand of modernity.

I'll never date Brooklyn. Or Mia. Or Leah. Or Rachel. Or Alex. Or Brooke. Or Megan. Or Elizabeth. I'll never be able to go back to high school and ask one of those girl I was crushing on out. Now I'm a fucking loser at college and I'm going to die a kissless virgin. I'm a pathetic loser who is still hung up on relationships I never even had, with girls who I never even made a move on.

Everyone on the internet is either terrible or pretending to be.

>>14211304
I wish I could unread the two sentences of this I skimmed
what an awful post

>>14210477
You said very well what I also feel, but couldn’t find the words to say myself. This is the most identifiable post I’ve read on /lit/.

>>14211307
It could be worse, you could be me and have attempted to court your high school oneitis every time you go back home on break, spending your time at school fantasizing about how next time it’ll totally work and you’ll get to experience innocent young love and everything will be fine.

>>14211375
Why are we so miserable with women?

>>14211433
Because that's their purpose, to make you miserable

Why no bully?

>>14211459
Can I bully your prostate?

>>14211433
I was never more miserable than when I developed a crush on this woman at work. At the time I was reading The Elementary Particles and there was a line that summed it all up: “Unhappiness isn't at its most acute point until a realistic chance of happiness, sufficiently close, has been envisioned.“ Every day that I’d see her I was miserable. She’d walk by my desk and I’d just sit there paralyzed. I made one attempt to talk to her and I was so nervous I could hear my pulse in my ear.

>>14211549
I haven't asked a girl out since high school, and I haven't even attempted to talk to the ones I'm into. I do remember having very embarrassing interactions with girls in school though. Almost every girl I talked to or tried to ask out got a boyfriend within the week. I remember going to an art museum with this one girl and trying to talk about art with her while sweating and wringing my hands. God I'm such a fucking loser

>>14211708
I would tell you my own history with women but I don’t want to make you feel like a Chad. In short: I’ve never asked out a woman. I’ve been kissed once and it was sloppy seconds 18 years ago.

The idea that I’m going to wake up tomorrow and suffer through another day is dreadful, mind numbing, and soul crushing.

>>14208953
What bothers me is that “we” only go half-way with it each time too. I’ve contributed to some of the /lit/-projects too but they never end up being what it’s imagined to be at the outset. And even then we don’t go far enough into post-modernity or just do it in a mediocre way.

That said there should be some book called “Ironic Meditations” though, a perfect pastiche of Nietzsche’s title. Think about it, 4chan has been producing a literal nonstep wall of text for over a decade and every once in a while there’s a witty aphorism just waiting to be collected or a very short essay on a topic that’s genuinely insightful, most often searing critiques of everything in existence. And from an archival standpoint 4chan is genuinely influential on the world stage when it comes to producing 21st century “culture”, and the website’s unique interplay of image and word also deserves to be explored

>>14209043

Ok Professor IQ

A self-destructive man feels completely alienated, utterly alone. He's an outsider to the human community. He thinks to himself, "I must be insane." What he fails to realize is that society has—just as he does—a vested interest in considerable losses and catastrophes. These wars, famines, floods and quakes meet well-defined needs. Man wants chaos. In fact, he has to have it. Depression, strife, riots, murder—all this dread. We're irresistibly drawn to that almost orgiastic state created out of death and destruction. It's in all of us. We revel in it.

>>14211966
At least you know what a kiss feels like

Anyone think that the year 2016 was a genuine turning point, or at least a critica one, for the history of the 21st century? We had little notion of it while we were living in it, but now that even such a little time has passed looking back it the year seems to grow with significance, as if the very air were different before and after then. I’m a sense history does seem to be accelerating if we can clearly point out the marked shift in culture that’s happened over such a relatively short era of time

Anyone think that the year 2016 was a genuine turning point, or at least a critical one, for the history of the 21st century? We had little notion of it while we were living in it, but now that even such a little time has passed looking back it the year seems to grow with significance, as if the very air were different before and after then. In a sense history does seem to be accelerating if we can clearly point out the marked shift in culture that’s happened over such a relatively short era of time

>>14212155
no
date obsession never made sense to me
significance exists only in retrospect

>>14212116
I think you overestimate how much time and how many monkeys and how many typewriters it takes to produce anything that even sounds profound. I'd wager all the 'good' bits of 4chan posts over the last 15 years would hardly make a full-length work, much less a compelling one, or anywhere near anything that wasn't just poorly paraphrasing more serious, dedicated writers

>>14212165
yeah but 4chan is not literature

>>14212163
>for the history of the 21st century
Why? Because an edgelord got elected in your country?
This is what's wrong with americans and it's just what they can't accept. History is much greater than whatever is happening in you country. Your power is declining and China has won the economic war. Deal with it. The History was never yours to write and now everyone is aware of that.
If anything, I think the financial crisis of 2007-2008 was a much relevant event in this century. It's the cause of all the political events that are taking place now and will take place in the next decade. All pro-USA governments are falling because of this.

>>14212180
his point was that there was material here of literary value, though. My point was that I think he's overestimating it.

>>14212198
shouldn’t you be in bed

>>14212212
seething mutt

>>14209043
You sound like me at 18. Slightly aloof, maybe autistic, definitely apathetic and unmotivated.

As I got older and came to understand new things about myself and came into new responsibilities I found myself wanting to ask advice and compare experiences more and more. Your peers are you best source of information. We are all figuring life out as it goes. We are all riding the crest of the present together. Older generations cannot tell us how to cope with the modern world. And it becomes interesting to get to know a person and then try and read them backward through their formative experiences, why they are the way they are as opposed to you, and what this can tell you about different points of view.

I still have pretty bad social skills, but not for a lack of things to say. If I had the power I would spend an hour interrogating every new person I met, but though people love to talk about themselves direct questioning can come off rude or even threatening.

Then of course there's also that I'm gathering material when I talk to people now. I'm writing profiles of the people I meet and saving them in a back pocket for characters down the road.

Self-aware narcissist here, AMA.

The holiday season is the worst. I sit in my crappy apartment thinking I'll make dinner for myself but end up getting drunk. I went to prison three years ago and my parents cut all contact with me and no matter how hard I try, they wont answer my calls and I don't feel like travelling half way across the country to be rejected by them in person. I just want my family back

>>14212165
I think it greatly depends on the audience. We (I shouldn't be so presumptuous to refer to a "we" as if I know all of us but I will anyway) have been so accustomed to using 4chan that its phraseology and way of expressing ideas are familiar to us, and there are certain constraints have benefits and drawbacks in how we transmit information on this site, for there is shit-posting of course but the shit-posting at least has clarity. As it has always been, a lot of 4chan posts just happen to be incidentally profound, often in a self-fulfilling prophecy sort of way because you must be a certain type of person to be reading 4chan posts in the first place, and of course the whole thing is covered by a thin veneer of irony so to whole project can be played off as as joke if we so wish. That's all to say if something is not profound to you, why should it not be so for others? The Book of Disquiet comes to mind: some people will never understand it, or actively loathe it, but it still reaches many.

I agree however with your point that a lot of what is said here is just paraphrasing of what has been written before, I have no real counterargument for that except the fact that this website is very timely, and certain dilemmas and situations mentioned in writings of yore we can no longer relate to because of our changing ontology

>>14212316
Be responsible for whatever shit you did. If it means losing your family so be it. Everyone carries their own cross.
Quit drinking.
Send your family a letter.
Don't make the same mistakes again.

>>14212198
So you do admit the world has fundamentally changed direction since then

>>14212347
Since the great recession in 2008 yes. 2016 was just a consequence of 2008.

I read an article proposing that our current geological age be dubbed the pyrocene, the age of fire. Not many people are aware but the world is burning. Huge tracts of the Amazon, North America, Australia, Siberia, and elsewhere have been raked with infernos. Wildfires like these will only continue to proliferate and worsen over time. Earth is becoming one big blazing chunk of charcoal.

>What I’ve so often felt in later life was that something that back then I somehow intuited, namely that you didn’t have the right to open one book if you didn’t thereby undertake to read them all. With every line you were broaching the world.

>In later years it would sometimes happen that I’d wake up at night and see the stars so real in the sky and so meaningful in their course, and couldn’t understand how anyone could bring themselves to miss so much of the world.

Is this catharsis bros?

>>14212163
I don't think zoomers realize how big of a deal 9/11 was. For you it's just one more historical oddity, like the Berlin Wall or Tienanmen Square.

we could've been somebody

Is suicide wrong when life seems terrible and hopeless? I feel like I fucked my life up irreparably by giving up in school, I have no dreams or aspirations, I have no talents, I'm painfully average. Lately I feel like the only escape would be to kill myself.

>>14212343
Unironically, thank you

>>14212514
That is what these threads are for, you are welcome.

>>14212297
Describe the ego-ideal you are trying to present yourself as. I am curious as to the values that make it up. I think I used to be a narcissist but now I'm too conflicted and undecided to know what narcissistic image to project and protect.

>>14212512
try escaping by actually escaping, travel somewhere far away. it's what I'm going to try

>>14212512
I have the same situation but i cope with reading the psychology. Maybe i'll realize why i've become the way i am now.

I've been reading Pride and Prejudice before bed each night and enjoying it very much, does anyone have any say as to which of Austen's novels I should read next?

>>14213946
I’m reading Emma right now. I’ve read P&P, S&S, and Persuasion already. It’s hard not to have her novels blend in your mind to some extent because the plots and cast of characters are so similar. I think P&P is the strongest of the novels. I’m enjoying Emma so far in part because it seems much more distinct than the rest. I would recommend it for that alone, so you aren’t reading stories too similar in a row.

There is literally NOTHING wrong with being Jewish.

I wish I could be a ghost. I wish I could participate in or watch the lives of others without a life of my own. The closest I got to this was one Halloween years ago when I wore a mask to school. It made me feel good to be able to watch others without them being able to know I was, without them being able to discern my thoughts.

I had this weird dream. I was in some sort of underground living area where i was supposed to find crystals and put them in appropriate places. Suddently i saw handheld synthesizer with closed lid. Once i opened the lid, i saw a hidden diary. I quickly skimmed through the first page and it was something about feeling guilty about killing children (didnt have a time to read more). Once i put that in my backpack, very ominous music started playing (like very low sacral organ) and i immediately felt disoriented and sick to the bottom of my heart. I decided to look in the mirror and i saw myself except i had completely white rolled up eye, very scarce hair and beard. I immediately woke up after this sight. I still have no idea what was it about.

Okay, first I need a list of names written down and then I need someone with a car.

>>14214173
what are you doing for hanuka this year anon?

>>14214205
would it not be better to wish to overcome your fear of being in the world?

you guys ever feel like /lit has way too many shitposts

imagine a /lit(lite) where shitposting is dialed down some. where retardation is curtailed so we have less "i have a stupid hot take that wasnt thought at all and i must post it NOW." where the autism is repressed some more, so we dont have too many "tfw no gf" threads.

or am i just being a faggot soiboi

>>14214356
This thread is a good containment zone tho.

>>14212512
A weak person such as yourself can become strong through self-application. I managed to pull myself out of a murderous depression which would have destroyed a weaker spirit. And while I have not accomplished everything I want in this life, I still intend to.

>>14214173
Except for the food, anon. No wonder people are anti-semetic when you eat actual fur balls.

>>14214342
Fear? Perhaps, but I think I just don’t enjoy being in the world, just watching it.

>>14214471
Its fear of being overwhelmed

>>14214471
but what causes your lack of enjoyment? is it not fundamentally fear?

>>14214478
I am overwhelmed nearly every day, I still dread it, but learned to except it will happen.
>>14214492
Explain further.

Does anybody else just painfully seethes in one place beucase of how pathetic he is? I would actually get stomach pain, headaches and blured vision just from thinking what a pathetic waste of space i'am and that is should have died at birth. I can't be the only one who does this everyday or two.

>>14214205
selfless and austere

>>14214556
redirect your effort into action, nigger

>>14214523
fear of action. fear of being judged for your action. fear of imposing your will on the world to make your experience in it enjoyable. the desire not to be, or to be invisible, may be the result of giving in to this fear, the lack of hope. fear of life.

>>14214581
>just do it man

>>14214814
>posts model
what that has to do with anything?

>>14214972
I think anon was complimenting your looks

>>14214679
This is correct, I have no desire to impose myself on others, is this really necessary to enjoy existence?

>>14214997
I don't know. it may be. but imposing your will on the world is not the same as "imposing yourself on others", even if the two may overlap. phrasing matters

I've spent 7 of the last 12 hours writing.
Gee I sure do love inspiration.

I've been finding it extremely hard to detach myself from culturally relevant "nerd" hobbies like video games or anime, not because I emotionally hold a serious attachment to them, but because I'm constantly surrounded in a culture of consumerism. Everywhere I look, it's all about "the new Pokemon game is awful!" and other such examples. Even here, I see /v/ crossboarders attempting to posture and impress /lit/ with their vapid tastes, posting the "best" examples of video game writing (i.e. Planescape, New Vegas, what have you) all being generic pulp at best, or inane "lore/worldbuilding" threads centered around some genre fiction tier series. I don't care about the newest Red Dead Redemption, nor do I care about some crappy CRPG made in the 90s. To complicate matters further, I'll admit straight up I'm heavily introverted and possess few friends as a result. All of my friends of course coming from the aforementioned contemporary nerd hobbies I mentioned before. I'm honestly sick of it, but I do not which to abandon the few friends I hold dear to me personally as a result of some pseudo-intellectual ego trip. I should just get away from it all, even if only for a bit.

>>14216404
Well don't play them then.

>>14216416
I don't. It's about passive intake of the culture itself.

>>14216465
Well don't passively intake it then.

>>14216552
>>14216465

I used to bang this girl who was an unrelated cousin of a cousin. You know when your cousins have their own cousins you don't really know? Like that. Well we basically always had a crush on one another since we were kids. I think she was even the first girl I ever kissed when I was a kid, like 8 years old. A cute peck. But once puberty hit things got more heated. But I had a GF all through high school and another and so on. But one summer I was a sad, single young man about 21 y/o and I was hanging out at my cousin's cottage and she was there too. One thing led to another and we started having sex regularly for a couple months before I went back to school. It's been years since then, I'm actually married now with kids of my own.

Now one thing that's funny about this is that my dad and her mom used to date way back in the day. But my dad's sister and her mom's brother ended up getting married, but our parents went their separate ways (that's how we have mutual cousins, but not related). It was one of those things where we would think "maybe it's meant to be!" . I took one of those ancestry tests and long story short it turns out this girl is my half sister. I fucked my half sister.

So on one hand I feel like I need to tell my parents of this revelation. And my siblings too. I was always the odd one out in my family. A little different from my siblings and so for me it all makes sense now. And my mom is a straight up hoe.

But everyone in the family knows I had this fling with my half sister. It wasn't a secret.

So what do fellas? Do I take this one too the grave? Right now only my wife knows but I feel like my dad and my father need to know this as well.

Should have greentexted this for Reddit gold

I have pity for some of the good parents that I know from one of my workplaces that force themselves to partake in this ridiculous system just so that they can fulfill their quotidian requirements for sustenance; I wish that I could gift them freedom.

I wish that individuals were as aware as I am that I can always sense with my peripheral vision the direction of their attention when they are situated in close proximity to me.

I wish that not moving one's face or body in public for more than a few seconds was not considered "weird".

>>14216715
Why did you take the test? Did she take it as well? The test might have been wrong depending on why you took it. You might want to take another test in another lab to confirm the results. They are never 100% certain. It always depends on the method, the machines and the people who manipulated the samples, so it's always prone to error.
What about your mom? Women should know about that kind of stuff. Maybe ask her if she knew and then decide if you want to tell your dad and your father. Maybe it's better for their own sake to not know about this at this stage. What would they do if they knew? What are you expecting to achieve by telling them? What are you going to do after telling them?
I don't know, this is a very complex situation fren, I can't imagine what it must feel like (few people could I think). But don't make decisions on a clouded mind and ripe feelings. Take counsel with your wife, your mom, and anons.

>>14216715
Hot.

>>14216715
Don't know what you should do, but here's a book you might enjoy.

I wish i'd have this creative depression. All i have is this neurotic anxiety which does absolutely shit.

>>14216922
Depression is destructive, not creative; Depression is pessimal motion of Spirit; depression breeds antiart. I think that you mean: "meloncholy".

>>14217123
>"meloncholy"
"melancholy"*

I am a pathological liar. I am a toxic man. I treat my girlfriends as possessions and constantly cheat. I feel depressed, angry, and alone. I am so much like my father.

I try for a week to be good, and fall back into old habits. I am a narcissist who struggles to feel empathy, who cannot feel love. I think I am going to kill myself.

>>14216715
im sitting on a bench in public phoneposting and you gave me an erection

>when your professor compliments your writing
Feels good bros.

>>14217123
>depression breeds antiart.
how so?

>>14217150
kys
please

>>14217150
I'd be just like this if not for my timidness and traumas I think. I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing.
The feeling of being so much like your father is so common among our types. Maybe it's the cause of all our suffering? Or it's the only justification we've found that makes sense for it? Is it only the way our impossible-to-accept self-hatred can manifest itself?

>>14207553
beautiful!

>>14209533
buy a good fiber supplement (i recommend inulin) to help cravings

if you want to go further then look into berberine, powerful appetite suppressant

>>14217174
When Spirit not only is depressed from one's Mind, and Body, but its descent also glorified, and its fatalism - consecrated, whatever can be created from such pessimal motion can only serve the end of destruction, much like wasting alloted/accrued material wealth serves the end of poverty.

>>14217182
I will soon.

>>14207488
Blitzed on a polydrug mix of K-nova, synthetic serotonin, and female orgasm analogs, you have just iced three Turing cops.

Sometimes i want to kill myself.

Blitzed on a polydrug mix of K-nova, synthetic serotonin, and female orgasm analogs, i have just iced three Turing cops

>>14217472
no you didn't you just attempted masturbation on your flaccid estrogen riddled cock to hardcore yuri

I never had so much pussy before. I' starting to think that no porn/no fap magic is real. I'm for sure going to enjoy this wonderful month for as long as it lasts. Then, there's college break and I will be three very dificult months to find a new fuck buddy.

>go to presentation
>really enjoy it
>very interested
>talk to the presenter afterward
>nervous because loud busy room throwing off my autism
>nervous for other autistic reasons
>just want to complete the transaction
>sincerely want to talk to him but have 9 other layers of assuming i'll put him off with my autism or shame myself in the eyes of onlookers somehow
>he asks me very natural questions
>answer in weird ways because i am not focused on parsing his statements for their actual intent
>instead focusing on performing What a Plausible Normie Would Say In Response to This Question
>realize immediately after i say each response that it's weird and he was thinking "That doesn't really answer my question but okay"
>walk out
>repeatedly think the words KILL MYSELF in big bold scrolling letters in my mind as always
>go home
>contemplate getting drunk
>know it won't help anyway
>stuck with my own thoughts
>try to pick up some fragments of my various different personas in my schizoid borderline howling ghost chasm of a shitty psyche
>try to stick them together to come up with some kind of plausible combination that allows me to not care that i'm an autist who shames himself publically
>try various platitudes out
>attempt to find a plausible version of myself for whom autistic social failures are like water off a duck's back
>do not succeed

>>14217472
>and female orgasm analogs
I don't know what that is

>>14217769
seems like you had a nanospams

>>14217787
Would you like to give me a demonstration?

>tfw can't stop watching Megan Boyle youtube videos

>>14217826
How about stop breathing?

>>14217845

This feels like a momentous time of change in my life. An old, crude, violent past is behind me, to which I need never return if I don't want. The classically beautiful grad student who leads my writing seminar said my writing is a joy to read, and hinted that she thinks I should switch to an English major. A part of me wants to imagine her smiles and the warm tone of her voice meant something more. I can feel the opportunities waiting around every corner in this city.

I got three books. Three books staring me in the face, judging me for having left them to gather dust. Wondering why I orphaned my babies.

>>14208266
This sounds hard, anon. I’m sorry about your friend.

>>14216715
Your first mistake was telling your wife LMAO

>>14207553
cute and wholesome

>>14208933
Do a few projects in a medium then switch it up. I went from drumming to music composition to photography to cinematography and now fiction writing. Access to knowledge is so accelerated now anything is possible.

>>14209024
This.
It’s amazing how much more fleshed out a story becomes after you get down on the molecular level of it. I was always unsatisfied with my draft outlines and was happily surprised when I started working and reworking each section.

>>14212198
Like the bug people will ever been trendsetters of culture. They are the slaves of the world making trinkets for pennies and selling out their environment.

I don't know anything about DNA or botany or spanish

>>14214356
Oh that girl. I almost want to save this.

Yes. It’s too shit post oriented these days.
I do try to flag the off topic, but they just keep coming

frosty

i lik cock AND vagen

>>14219673
whatever, king

Oof. Drank too much on Friday after work.
Now I'm up in the middle of the night staring
at the computer screen, mindlessly scrolling.
Think I might try to go back to bed.
Usually, once I'm up I'm up --
though every so often I can make it
back to sleep. We'll see.

>>14207553
I love this anon. I wish you and your gal all the best.

This is the winter of my discontent

>>14220563
thanks ed

>>14207553
Great romantic trash for 50-year-olds writer carrier opportunity.

>>14220789
Who the fuck's ed

>>14207721
Interesting and inconsistent. Forget being artificially stoic, let your anger out.

>>14207819
If you realize that you are in this condition because of your mother, who doesn't let you go, everything will change. I know she tells that she wants you to become independent, but don't believe her, she is lying. You are in prison.

>>14208001
Beautiful.

>>14208266
Get a dog. Love will heal you.

>>14208926
Are you me?

my history with women:
8 years old, my parents get divorced and my mother leaves the country
17 years old, I receive my first and only kiss, which was the result of the ugly girl who kissed me being dared to do it
18 years old, I try to start a relationship with my brother's gf's younger sister and am rejected
I'm now 35 years old and alone

>>14220909
>18
>35
did you really do nothing for the last 17 years?

>>14210301
Brief, tense, well-written.
Also true.

>>14220915
yes

>>14210477
Most pathetic thing I have ever read on /lit/.

>>14211099
Original.

>>14211304
Recess is over, go back to class.

>>14211307
Be patient. There is hope. Time works for men, just be a man.

Test >>>/pol/

>tfw I find watching silly Youtube videos more engaging than reading philosophy
I genuinely feel like philosophy has asked every question one could possibly ask and answered absolutely none of them. I'm sick of the dead ends and thinking I'll actually come to closure on big issues. It's just an endless rabbit hole that leads nowhere. Boring.

>>14221581
welcome to learning, where end up with more questions than what you started with
>how do magnets work?
>"oh, its because of the magnetic field." but thats more of a label than an explanation.
>"magnetic fields work via electric currents"
>okay but how come my light bulb aint attracting metals and shit. also isnt this just a label for another label?
>t. https://youtu.be/MO0r930Sn_8

>many books are not translated into native language
i hate it.

>>14221581
Wow, finally you grew up

Memory is so strange. Usually every other morning I will wake up with a random song playing in my head. This morning it was "Steal My Sunshine" by the Canadian band Len. While an admittedly catchy tune, I never held it in high regard. But there it is, locked away in my head with a million other random things, a mere potential, worlds away from consciousness until some random and unexplainable event in my head brings it to life.

>>14221581
full ascending is returning to the exact things you used to find enjoyable, but this time with awareness and crushing weight of wasted time and effort.

>>14221581
Some of us have to be brainlets, anon. Don't feel so bad it's you. You're doing the world a great service by choosing to be incapable.

> mfw the images are weird again
anyone else has fits of "all those real photos look like objects photoshopped onto nothing"? not faces or bodies, any random pic of anything

>>14217468
Then do it

>>14207685

Bahaha

>>14211053
>wanting to be an anime character

Kys definitely

>>14209533
Diet selection is poor. Try eating only probiotic foods and vegetables for a while (no "health food" bs, real vegetables).

>>14207488
I'm living in a pretty trashy room, been unemployed for a while, wondering why I'm letting myself be stuck on classic wow seeking god knows what from my adolescence

Why is it that all novels written today have the same cover design and are called stuff like 'Smoke on the Mist'?

Why are the authors names always some kind of variation on 'Anne McCann'

>>14221874
Too big of a coward

i contemplate shooting a whole bunch of people but i dont wanna burn in hell for it

>>14222184
shoot up the white house then

>>14211304
>The heroic spirit has nowhere left to manifest itself
the pursuit of rare knowledge?

my gf might be taking away happiness from my basketball career because I believe there has to be an equal amount of happiness and sadness in my life and she makes me very happy, but I am visibly worse and unlucky on the court

>>14212248
so it never occurred to you that most people are basically copies of others at least in the way they express themselves socially?
it's only worth it engaging in long conversations with eccentric honest types, normal people permanently wear a mask

>>14214205
yes invisibility as a superpower would be great

https://twitter.com/st_sufjan/status/1198349232803106817?s=19

>>14222614
help me /lit/, I don't know what to feel.

>>14222614
>>14222628
See anon, there's no point in obsessing over being ugly. It's not like you're going to mate with yourself, and tastes differ widely enough that you can't say whether your judgment will line up with someone else's.

is violin more /lit/ than a flute? how so?

>>14223449
the violin is a cuter instrument and if you play one, anon, you are 200% cuter in my books

>>14223456
idk seems more bigger and pretentious when both can have equally touching sound
don't understand how one can earn you literati status while other is considered for poorfags like farmers, shepherds etc

>>14223449
>flute, an instrument that has a long standing history with military practice
>played by Frederick the Great
>violin, faggot instrument used to express the average woes of inconsequential cunts
you tell me
>https://youtu.be/0FCJ9FLeReg

>>14223506
why are his inhales so loud
it's weird to call violin faggot instrument while taking the side of an instrument playing which is literally blowing on a phallic object

>>14223558
i couldnt find a better version of a song. or rather i should say, i couldnt find it in myself to dedicate more time to finding a better version.
>"aint nothing gay about getting your dick sucked. youre the gay one for sucking my dick."
oh wait, was it the other way around?

>>14223485
but there's also much better music out there for solo violin.

bump limit reached, new thread:

>>14223928

>>14223928

>>14223928

>>14223928

>>14223928