/lit/ - Literature

Trying to take things slow made everything else go too fast. Barely a young man, I'd already gotten myself into old age, which I'd tried to run away from by standing still in its dead middle.

Mad thrills are left to collect dust in the winter sun, fake wisdom has been buried six feet under the creaky wooden floor (what's left of it anyway), and I'm burnt out in the torn off clothes I bought yesterday.

All you holy friends and loved ones have been doing good work keeping me alive but the season's changing, and it's time to get another job. I'll be moving on myself, walking on my sorry way to wherever peacefulness lies.

Thank you for everything, and goodbye.

>>14674689

1/2

God gave us free will
And the boy made his choices
This way or that
Yes or no
Paralysed by infinity
Was his excuse
But deluded to the core
And so it went
He twisted himself
into something hideous
Spent his days pushing
pain onto others
I'll feel it this time
thank you
This monkey's gone to heaven
I'll see everybody there
Anon
X

>>14674860

2/2

vile boy
Do we live in a deterministic machine
Everything written in stone
Since the dawn of time
... Or do we have free will..
Etching our consciousness into the
Fabric of the universe
From one moment to the next
That is the question
But I am too weak
And too fearful
To believe in such majesty
I choose the easy way
foul boy
soulless and evil
leaves a bad taste on your tongue
This is my nature
This was my destiny from the
Beginning of everything
This is what I tell myself
Everything unfolding from a single point
We cannot perceive time as it truly is
Everything has already happened
Repeating again and again
This is what I tell myself
I have to
Because I have chosen fear over faith
We all have stories we must tell ourselves
And this is mine
Please think of the good times
There were so many
Thank you
I love you all
Anon
X

>>14674860
>suicide note
>1/2

>>14674877

Option 1 and option 2

Sorry for the mess

>>14674927
Yes, this one, simplicity

>>14674689
>not leaving behind a poorly written manifesto generated from schizo markov chains fed nithing but /pol/ threads and attention whores from /x/ to autoupload to social media and news sites after you carry out bizarre and violent acts of terror before committing suicide by car bomb directly into a federal building
Ngmi

>>14674986
While not a direct plagiarism, I got the idea from "Dead," who was the singer in the metal band Mayhem. His is more longwinded though

>>14674689
Everything is going great here. Hope you are well.

I just want to fucking look nice, I want to be able to wear a shirt properly, I want to be able to admire my own body, I want people to respect the work I've put in into it, I want to be able to show my children that this was there father when he was 19, I want to impress people, I want to be validated, I want to be happy with the soul I am, I want to live longer then my father, I want to be able to lift her up and kiss her, I want to show her my physique, I want to tell her my hopes and ambitions, I want to be attractive, I want to have a nice face, I want to have nice hair, I want to be taller, I want to be stronger, I want to be normal, I wan't to be free of my Aspergers, I want to know I don't have 10x chance of killing myself, I want to be able to talk to me, I want people smile and nod when they see me, I want to see friends at least once a week, I want to lift heavy, I want to have good friends I care about and who care about me, I want to be intelligent I want to be able to cry like a child again, I want to be free of my desires, I want to be free from my guilt, I want to be able to go back and tell my Mom I loved her, I want to be able to smile genuinely, I want to benchpress my bodyweight, I want to be able to throw her over my arms and catch and kiss her, I want her to love me for who I am not what I want to be, I want to improve myself, I want to stop hating myself, I want to stop thinking about suicide, I want to be loved, I want to be free of my addictions, I want to stable, I want to improve my mental health, I want to be able to run marathons, I want to help my family, I want to help myself, I want to have enough money for gym and still pay rent, I want to be free of my carnal desires, I wish she existed, I wish I could change the world, I wish the world could change me, I wish that this wasn't the end, I wish this was just the beginning

>>14675027
Great one too, simple and seems full of that kind of love

>>14675034
>I
Anon...

>>14675034
Very personal, stripped of any sweetening poetry, a harsh and shocking read. One last desire

18th August
The thing most feared in secret always happens.
I write: oh Thou, have mercy. And then?
All it takes is a little courage.
The more then pain grows clear and definite, the more the instinct for life asserts itself and the thought of suicide recedes.
It seemed easy when I thought of it. Weak women have done it. It takes humility, not pride.
All this is sickening.
Not words. An act. I won't write anymore.

>>14675082
Are you Cesare ?

I want to go back.
Back to those days on the wind-soaked edge of the road, the mornings when I could breathe, and breathe in life: a sweet poison, unhurried, pregnant with the flavor of joy.
But this seed of hope, once germinating within me, now lies dead in a ditch; now, just fodder for the cycle of which I am no longer a part. The world no longer ours; nor you.
Now, just a rotten husk, half-buried, all-forgotten. But I never did forget. Not those days, their smell, their touch. Your touch. I never forgot for a moment.
But you did. You and the world forgot.
So now it's time to go, but this time once more with hope; the hope unhindered, unblemished, unrotten that the next time I open my eyes, I'll see you.
And you'll remember.

>>14675026
he stole it from Kokoro

I'm killing myself every time I wipe I get poopy hands the internet won't tell me the solution my mom also gets poopy hands I'm retarded. Good night.

>>14675236
you have to put toilet paper between your hand and your ass
usually you fold a big sheet over a few times to build up layers

The tiger
I destroyed his cage
Yes
YES
The tiger is eating me

>>14675082

>>14674689
I'm sorry, mum.

Dear anon who, in February the 5th, told me "kys fag": hope you are happy now.

>>14674693
cringe. no one thinks you're poetic and troubled. just pathetic and selfish.

>>14675034
>I wish that this wasn't the end, I wish this was just the beginning

Every new dawn is just the beginning.

>>14675271
Kek

I translated it in English, so you better appreciate it (thank god I felt a strong sense of guilt at the last second. Survival instincts at its finest):
It's not your fault, I need you to understand that immediately. Nothing you ever did caused this, not one thing. This was all me, this is my own fault. Don't you dare pin this on yourselves, I can't have you living in guilt. What I couldn't say last month, when you both tried to force me to talk to you, was that I'm tired. Sleeping for all teh hours I do doesn't fix it but that's when I don't feel the apathy. I feel nothing, yeah, but not the active apathy that I feel constantly. Remember when I used to sing when I washed the dishes or when I was at my computer and you would laugh. I wish I could back to it, I really do. There's nothing that I wish more than going back to normal, but the past me doesn't even exist anymore. She isn't here, or if she is she's very quiet. I've treated you awfully bad, and I hope you can forgive me. My existence has caused you so much pain and the money you've wasted on me I hope you can gain back. Mami, please forgive me. Papi, don't be angry. Little brother, keep on drawing, you'll make it big I swear you will. Brother, I'm sorry for treating you so awfully. Depression isn't me, and it isn't an excuse for my actions. It was all me. Even though it's hard to feel, I want you to know I still love you. You already know how I want to be buried, but you don't have to do that. Love you.

https://youtu.be/uZmLx4w2VHo

>>14676427
>wanting to kill yourself when you at least have a family that loves you

I pray you're in a better place. There is still hope.

>>14676553
Depression's a bullet, it doesn't care who it passes through. I told my parents and they've helped gobs. "It gets better" ain't a meme, fellas.

>>14676765
> "It gets better" ain't a meme, fellas.
thanks. i hope you're right

http://hitler.org/writings/last_testament/

>>14674693
Don't mind that guy anon, I still think you're poetic and troubled.

>>14676765
It gets worse later also ain't a meme. You're just young for a little more while.

Fuck you!
Fuck you!
You cool
Fuck you!
Im out!
*mic drop*

I just want a cute girlfriend. One that is fairly pretty, has stuff some stuff in common with me, and that I can click with. But every girls at my uni is either a chink, a spic goblin, or a basic bitch in yoga pants. There isn't even a point in "trying" with any of them; I am not interested in any of them. I thought that in this large uni, there would be a good amount of cool girls, but they really all just stuck. It's horrific.

So here is my note:
>The Kali Yuga is a fucking nigger

>>14674689
Any press release from the Iowa Democratic Party.

>>14674689
nigga nigga nigga nigag. nigga nigga I'm 100% nigga

>>14677342
What is the percent chance that after death you get a qt tomboy gf?

>>14677475
>qt tomboy gf
So you are a man of refined taste as well? I wish I knew the chance, if there is a chance at all.

>>14674693
Cringe, we are not in the Victorian era, make it more 21st century

> you try too hard

>>14677489
I guess I'll just wait for the singularity. Hopefully then there will be androids or some sort of simulation to live in. Damn, it's really quite horrible that happiness can only be found in death or in some sci-fi future.

>>14674689
Sorry, it was just too much for me. I think I did most of the stuff I wanted to, so that's pretty neat. When I'm going, I just hope I get to see the house and you all one more time before it all goes black. If there's a heaven, I don't think it would have anything as ugly and nice as that place in it.

P.S., please try to take care of my morning glories; they'll be flowering sometime soon. Should be pretty.

>>14677564
Anon, we are in the singularity as we speak, it's just gay.

Jesus Christ, I have never fallen into a deep depression and that holds my tongue most of the time, but this is anon: You people are the most self absorbed, unhelpful -to yourself or others- ,melodramatic and insufferable sods. Suicide shatters everyone you knew or even happened on, and you abscond away from life before you can know it. You are the thieves of joy. There's probably no point in berating you about it either, because you'll take it as an excuse to off yourself anyways. Take your pills.

>>14677782
I've never had sex but this is anon: You degenerates are ruining everyones lives. Having sex is morally wrong. Read your bible.

>>14674693
I like it

>>14677259
It's been 5 years. It gets better, loser, don't fall in love with your depression and feel like it needs to stay because it's a part of you. It isn't. Snip that tumor, boy.

>>14676235
Seems like my work here is done then, gentleman.

>>14677782
I've never been gay but this is anon: MMMM yummy cock taste like salt. Salt is healthy for you in good doses but I'm an obese fuck so who cares haha. Gimme that man ass, gimme that lovely succulent bear scratches all over my chest. Being gay is the bomb! Suck a cock!

>>14674860
>>14674868
!!! Two ways to see the world, two notes
I would have written something more

>>14675034
nice. maybe too 'selfish' but it's okay

>>14675082
a part from the 'weak women have done it' it's perfect

>>14675180
I love it.

>>14676235
LOL

>>14676427
Try to explain why, don't just say "depression", you want to leave such a generic and meaningless word behind which there may be ... anything
(and that can may be fixed, listen to this anon >>14678894)

>>14678919
I didn't know how to explain something so strongly when I felt so apathetic. Also pic related kek. I'm already better anon, not completely there yet but better.

F R E E D O M