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/lit/ - Literature

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1468038 No.1468038 [Reply] [Original]

Hey /lit/. I found this today, it's one of my classmate's stories for his creative writing class. He's either 17 or 18.

I guess you could read and maybe have a laugh.

>> No.1468045

>Read my story /lit/

>> No.1468050

>/lit/ ENCOURAGES you all to submit your own writings for critique, judgement and revision.

Whether it's his or really his classmate's I can't decide.

>> No.1468052
File: 138 KB, 302x329, DavidMitchell9.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1468052

>>1468045
>implying I wrote this abomination
>mon visage quand

>> No.1468055

i really enjoyed it, i loved the use of flashback and the vivid imagery, the contrast between colours as the evil stuff was going on was a great thing, i thought i was going to see some pathetic fallacy in there, maybe he should add that in to add to the mood. However the contrast thing he's got going on atm heightens the horror and alienates the character from his surroundings.

and cheese and pickle? i pictured him as more of a ham & cress man myself

>> No.1468057

>>1468050
Yeah, I was more getting at how it's totally his story.

>> No.1468060
File: 148 KB, 388x326, DavidMitchell2.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1468060

>>1468055
Ham and Cress? Interesting combination.

>> No.1468063

>the dark red blood splattering agains the pure white walls
Nasufag confirmed

also dat third line

>> No.1468068

Let's see yours faggot !

>> No.1468070
File: 153 KB, 430x352, DavidMitchell5.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1468070

>>1468068
I don't take creative writing.

>> No.1468079
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1468079

As a homage to the story, I shall henceforth be known as Tom Harper.

>> No.1468080

It's got potential. He just needs to get rid of the redundancies and work on his grammar/sentence structure.

>> No.1468087
File: 2 KB, 126x126, 1278486945705.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1468087

>I slummed myself onto the bed

>> No.1468102

>>1468038
>All I can do now is try to forget if the demons that haunt me will allow me to.
NO JOHN, YOU ARE THE DEMONS!

>> No.1468111

Someone should make a copy pasta of this.

My name is Tom Harper and I hate every one of you faggots...

>> No.1468114

Well the plot was quite similar to every T.V show ever made.