/lit/ - Literature

What is it about?

Why should anyone read it?

>>15535569
It's about an inept wizard with a drug problem, who is the son of the previous Archmage. He ends up stumbling onto a dark conspiracy, and his life gets thrown into chaos. It's primarily a lighthearted comedy, although there are elements of deeper emotional conflict.

This is not your typical fantasy book. How do you feel about drunken heists, accidental time travel, wild magical battles, and twisted humor? If you answered yes to any of those, you’ll love the hilarious tale of an inept wizard with a drug problem, his cynical apprentice who can’t catch a break, and the monumental quest they never saw coming! Who ever said a story can't be whimsical and a little fucked up at the same time?

Left with no career or prospects, the man known only as The Wizard is forced to devise a half-baked plan to steal a valuable artifact from the vault underneath the Circle of Mages. Lost in a labyrinth of tunnels, he stumbles upon a sinister conspiracy rooted in the heart of the kingdom. An evil cabal of sorcerers have been corrupting the land for centuries, hidden just below the capital. What he discovers is horrifying, even for a man of his dubious ethics.

Will he be able to stop the dark devices at work, or will he be swallowed by them along the way?

Wizardrous is an excellent choice for fantasy enthusiasts with a twisted sense of humor. It is packed to the page with madness, satire, and plenty of laughs! Even if you're not a big fan of fantasy, this book is great for anyone with a bit of a screwed up sense of humor.

CONTENT WARNING: Wizardrous is intended for mature audiences only. This book contains drugs, violence, heavy profanity, and moderate sexual content.

>>15535581
Because it's free, and they might like it. I'm not gonna try to sell it to you specifically. Just move on if you don't want it.

>>15535564
Are there any homosexuals or niggers in it?

>>15535592
Yes...

>>15535600
Dropped. I read a little anyhow it’s terrible

>>15535590
>Because it's free
The internet is full of free shit. Your book is not free. It's shit, and you are shilling it.
Fuck off and die

>>15535625
Good for you, but pardon if I don't take the opinion of the racist homophobe to heart. Which basically means I don't care if anyone on this board doesn't like my book, but especially you. ;)

>>15535635
>your book is not free
Just because you're too lazy to click past the first link when it's already been claimed. kek

Post excerpts so I can judge if it is worth the effort

>>15535655
No. You are shilling something you are trying to sell. It is not "free". On top of that you are treating other people's time as if it was not the only thing of value that they have. To stroke your own ego.
If your books was worth shit you would not be giving away promo links on 4chan
Take your keks and stick them up your ass

>>15535657
Yeah, I'm not gonna do that. Amazon lets you preview the first four chapters, it takes two seconds to open their viewer. I've already subsidized your laziness enough by offering a free copy.

I'm gonna get to sleep now, and probably abandoning this thread for good. It'd be one thing if I was trying to sell my book, but I'm not about to expend extra effort to push free copies.

>>15535669
Don't put words in my mouth: I am absolutely NOT treating your time as if it is of value.

>>15535687
I'm not devoting two seconds to helping you advertisement, lol

>>15535691
The last thing I'm gonna say is that you literally just did, by bumping this thread. Thanks, and goodnight. :)

>>15535600
Imagine putting negroids in your book

>>15535564
damn i cant get it in australia

>>15535687
>I am absolutely NOT treating your time as if it is of value
That's exactly the point, now isn't it
You are shilling your trash genre hobby writing, and wasting everyone's time because you are too bad a writer to actually get published, and too cheap to get actual promotion

>>15535657
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufFttfAy0N8

>>15535719
You misunderstand, as does not surprise me. It's specifically *your* time that I don't value. To quote a classic movie, "you're a smug, unhappy little man, and you treat people like they're idiots". People like you are exactly why I wrote this book, and the only reason the main character even exists. Hence why I advertise it here: half of this board are like you, and the other half constantly make fun of you in threads in which you obliviously participate. You're hilarious.

>>15535757
He sounds like he's being forced to record this by armed terrorists

>>15535707
Yeah, for some reason, Amazon only lets the copies be redeemed by people in the USA. I have no idea why they do that, or how to create international gift copies. Sorry about that.

>>15535787
all good dude

>>15535773
>"you're a smug, unhappy little man, and you treat people like they're idiots"
You realize this is exactly how you come off in responding like you do, right?
It's good having a hobby and being dedicated to it, but the bottom line is that if you can't answer the simple question of why someone should read your book, and you respond to trolling and criticism by menstruating, you shouldn't try to do self-promo

>>15535814
Ah, the trolls classic defense: "you're the one who has the problem for retorting my insults". Again, you're hilarious.

>>15535564
>amazon
lol

>>15535829
I am not trolling you, I am precisely pointing out that you are too insecure, and too far up your own ass, to engage with people, when you are trying to find an audience
The only reason I insult you is that each of your responses has been immature and deserving of nothing but ridicule
You could have simply talked about your book, what made you write it, what is great about it. In the clip of you reading it, it is obvious that you are engaged in your writing
But instead you are simply shilling and exchanging insults. Which is a passtime to everyone else here, but it's not your reason for making the thread

Bruh the guy who wrote this sounds like he gets high off his own farts lol

>>15535655
Sounds like something a commercial publishing firm would love if the filling is sufficient.

>>15535859
Maybe people just do things they enjoy and don’t give a fuck about what anybody else has to say? Post your great work for us all to ridicule.

>>15535859
You preceded literally all of this with "fuck off and die"; that was your first comment, so it's kind of hard to take you seriously as "not a troll". Talk like an intelligent and rational adult, and perhaps you will be treated like one; or perhaps not, if you only hang around people like yourself. If you think someone else has the problem for not responding positively to that, I honestly can't help your complete social retardation. Anyway, I'm going to bed. Goodnight, asshole. :)

>>15535895
>that was your first comment
I asked why anyone should read it. You couldn't answer
Everything since is simply you projecting your own passive-aggressive insecurity
Now run away

>>15535892
If he didn't give a fuck he wouldn't be shilling and failing at it

>>15535922
If you are accusing others of projecting, maybe you should check whether you yourself are doing it first. Going out of your way to cut down somebody’s effort is an odd thing to do particularly given you aren’t actually offering any criticism.

>>15535937
>effort
The thread is shit shilling

>>15535947
Listen, I feel like we got off on the wrong foot. Putting niggers and homosexuals into the book wasn't even my idea in the first place.

What would I have to do to get you guys to read my work? I want to improve.

>>15535922
Right. Again, you’re hilarious. It still cracks me up that you think your insults buy you a level of superiority. I know you say “it’s good having a hobby and being dedicated to it”, but that’s just delusional when your hobby is trolling on /lit/. You can rationalize your reasons for being such an unpleasant human however you like, but even a complete idiot can see that you insulted me before I was anything other than polite to you.

>>15535955
You’re a shit tier troll. At least the other guy made an effort to engage me.

>>15535947
Lucky we have dickhead Dan policing this place or otherwise it would be a complete shithole

>>15535564
give me 200 american dollars and i'll read it

>>15535965
Please stop impersonating me. I'm going to start using a trip to avoid this problem.

>>15535969
Why would I pay you to read my book? I just posted it for free. Don't be so lazy. Are you a kike?

>All this no yous and crybabies.
/lit/ fags weren't kidding when they said they can't into marketing their own work.

Anyway I won't even bully OP and as should you guys. Especially when you've always made such a big deal of your insecurities over your own writing.

>>15535983
Thanks for NOT contributing to my thread. :)

Antisemitism aside, if you wanna advertise my book for me, be my guest. I wouldn’t be posting it here if I was worried about offending anyone. Go ahead and hijack my thread for all I care. I’m assuming this is still the dickhead from earlier in the thread, and this is your replacement for an intelligently worded retort. Have fun, and goodnight.

>>15536002
Good riddance troll.

>>15535961
Weren't you off to bed, little boy?
I am not insulting you to feel superior, I am talking this way because I don't need to be polite to random people on the internet, who don't care about my time
And when all you do is respond with strawman projections about my hobbies and personality, that just makes it fun
Like I said, we could have had a conversation, before you plainly stated you didn't actually care

>>15535585
Sounds a lot like Cade Skywalker.

>>15536019
My inspirations are legion.

>>15536009
When are you going to give up this ridiculous charade? Either read the book or don't. I could care less.

>>15535586
>This is not your typical fantasy book.
Stopped reading. That line has been used so many times. You really need to work on your sales pitch.

>>15536009
>is surprised that I don’t wanna engage in conversation with someone who told me to die.
There’s a reason people don’t care about your time. If you think that this could have been a real conversation once you put that particular foot forward, you’re even more autistic than I originally thought.

>>15536025
Nobody is reading your shit book

>>15536035
Several people are reading it at this very moment, several more thanks to you refreshing my thread. I've received interest from major fantasy and science fiction publishers. Jealousy is unattractive.

>>15535564
grats, how long did it take you to write it?

>>15536027
That’s a fair point. That is an overused line, and might be a bit too generic for a good description. Thanks for your honesty.

>>15536049
Why are you doing this? Is this really your idea of fun?

>>15536044
>Making shit up on the internet
Has anyone given you positive feedback in the thread? No? Well, there you go

>>15536056
I think the impressive array of trolls and impersonators I've amassed speaks for itself. :)

>>15536060
It speaks to your poor social skills, not to your writing

>>15536025
Give me 50 dollars USD and I'll give you a sparkling good review.

>>15535564
How did you publish?

>>15536063
You literally started this conversation by trolling. My "social skills" are just fine, danke.

>>15536068
Hmm... A tempting offer! But I'll pass, thanks. My work speaks for itself.

>>15536047
Thanks! I worked on it for nearly a year.

>>15536075
If you had self-confidence and social skills, and you actually thought I was just trolling you, you would have simply stopped responding a while back. You should do so now.

>>15536076
Google is your friend.

>>15536085
>>15536077
All you two are doing is giving me free publicity. ;)

>>15536085
I will continue to respond in order to promote engagement with my thread, and hence my work! Thanks for posting :)

>>15536076
I just self published on Amazon. All you have to do is upload the manuscript and cover, and they do the rest.

>>15536085
You’re pretty dim if you still think that’s me. Or more likely, it’s probably you, and you’re just being a samefag, lol.

>>15536090
>>15536095
How many of you are there? Hey, if you want to be my unofficial ambassadors to 4chan, be my guests. :)

>>15536088
That was kind of the point I was trying to make earlier. It might seem to you that shilling and exchanging insults is "free" publicity, but that is only because you don't understand publicity, or the value of time. Anymore than you understand writing
Which is fine, but only if you can actually learn, instead of just getting further up your own ass

>>15536102
Can you please stop doing this? There’s really no reason to do this.

>>15536116
And it’s honestly pretty hard to take your opinion seriously when you’re not even paying attention to whom you are responding.

>>15536102
>>15536127
>>15536145
Stop this. I am the real The Wizard.

No I am
Buy my free book today

>>15536160
>>15536145
>>15536127
Run along, children. I can keep this up all night. :)

>>15536160
>>15536164
>>15536170
Silence, all you impostors. As you can see, I -- and only I -- am the true The Wizard (please refer to the name field above the message contents). All you pissbabies with nothing better to do wish you could be me :)

>>15536179
Also, I eat cum

>>15536179
>>15536183
Very mature. I am in fact a homosexual so I'm not sure how that is supposed to be offensive to me.

>>15536188
But I have to add that I do hate niggers and kikes, though.

>>15536049
I'm glad you are open to constructive criticism.

>>15536198
I only put them in because they said it would help sales

OP here, just woke up from my nap...what is going on here??

>>15536280
Fuck off.

>>15536280
>>15536283
My own clones. Now none of us will be virgins.

>>15535719
>i need to treated with the upmost respect as an anonymous user on 4chan.

>>15536280
Shut the fuck up, faggot, stop impersonating me.

>>15536294
Fuck off

>>15536309
I just openly said that I'm a "faggot." Do you really think there's anything wrong with being gay in 2020? What rock have you been living under, buddy?

>>15535586
Buddy, stoner humour has never been funny, but it's especially dead now.

>>15536319
Fucking. Dead.

>>15536319
Why don't you shut the fuck up negro? You're the dumbest blackest gorilla nigger I've ever seen. You're a dirty, no shoes, ugly and black negroe, with stinky feets and a dirty ass because you couldn't wipe it not even with your own hands. Fucking nigger board full of nigger lovers. Why the hell did I ever came to advertise my book to this nigger-forsaken place in the first place

>>15536316
>>>/r/fantasy
They will love you there (literally), as they are all faggots themselves.

>Do you really think there's anything wrong with being gay in 2020?
There isn't, but making it, in any way, part of your intellectual identity (like getting triggered over a supposed "slur"), displays your retardation.

>What rock have you been living under, buddy?
Sorry, I have been busy reading, I can't be bothered to check what the trannies consider acceptable speech nowadays.

Also, stop pretending you are getting "free publicity". It's 4chan. Everyone here just pirates shit, or buys paperbacks. If Brandon Jones couldn't do it, you can't for sure.

Holy cringe this thread is awful

>>15536347
Another fucking lousy and dirty nigger. God damn it I hate your kind so much. You sit up on your own ass and put your hands in your smelly arsehole, you put them in your mouth and you smile with that disgusting niggerified mouth of yours, with lips as big as your fucking ass, so big that they don't let you speak properly; you just make awful sounds that have a bare resemblance with human language. How could a nigger like you ever read my precious book, let alone try to judge it? Hell your black nigger eyes have probably never seen a book before. I'll never again come back to this niggerish place full of niggers: retarded, monkeyish and dirty niggers.

>>15536360
STFU, nigger, read my book.

>>15536363
Stop pretending to be me, I just freely admitted to being a black "faggot", I am not a stupid poopoo brain homophobe like you.

>>15536367
>>15536363
Will you god damn dirty niggers stop impersonating me! I'm starting to get really tired of this! I think we should all take a breather, read my book Wizardrous, and discuss this with a fresh perspective.

Maybe actually try to give the guy some constructive criticism
He's basically a kid and he actually wrote and published a book, good on him
Not his fault he sucks at shilling

>>15536374
>>15536316
OK, but as a writer, can you give me advice? I am writing a book and I have a question:

at what point does using the word "nigger" become artistically unacceptable?
I just did a search for nigger in my 55,000 word novella and it returned 11,986 results.
Is this too much? I want to write realistically but does there come a point where it detracts from the artistry?
It's a modern day story dealing with many present-day social issues and my main character is what most would consider a "racist" and so he is very flippant with the word's use but I'm worried that publishers will not accept my novella or see its artistic merit because of this and instead condemn it for being insensitive or intentionally inflammatory. But how else am I supposed to write this sort of character?
How often should I use the word?

>>15536360
This must be a fucking joke. You think ANYONE would ever believe a book as funny as clever as the one I wrote, could have been written by an actual nigger? With his black hands? With his fingernails full of shit? You really think so? No you dark piece of shit. A black animal couldn't have written this book. Fuck your nigger attempt to kike everyone into believing you could write a book. The only thing a nigger can write is his name in the welfare office so he can get this affirmative blacktion check every month and put his stinky nigger black hands over a few dollars, making them as black as his skin

>>15536367
I have to admit, I lost my shit laughing at the impersonations
Also reporting OP to Amazon for throwing around the N word, it's what he gets for shilling his drivel here

>>15535655
>I don't take the opinion of the racist homophobe to heart. Which basically means I don't care if anyone on this board doesn't like my book, but especially you.
Then you're shilling your crap on the wrong website, you dumb nigger faggot. Next time drop the queer shit and get some cute samurai bioengineered catgirls in there, and some people here may actually consider reading it for the lulz.

https://www.reddit.com/user/wizardrous/posts/?sort=top
CHECK OUT MY REDDIT ACCOUNT PLEASE, AND WRITE ME A DM IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS

>>15536422
Lol did you doxx him?

>>15536422
>>15536424
No, I just posted my internet account.
As you can see from my reddit account, my favorite book is Harry Potter, my favorite subreddit is /r/memes (share any funny jokes in this thread!!!) and my favourite vidya (haha) is hearthstone.
I am also interested in recreational drug use.

>>15536422
>>15536424
Fuck fuck fuck.
I swear I'm gonna fucking punish you to death you dumb negros. Pls mods delete this threads the niggers are stealing everything and they're gonna ruin my life. Don't let the niggers win! Don't let them be black!

>>15535564
I read a little. Your book is terrible. I hope you get killed by a nigger.

What is YOUR favourite book, anon?

>>15536443
OP is pretty young and more reddit than 4chan so he didn't know the local vibe before bickering with anons. Maybe I'm getting old, but cut him some slack here, don't twist the knife. And no I'm not him, nigger nigger nigger.

>>15536451
This is a hard learning lesson, but it must be done anon. It'll make him strong.

>>15536451
I would, I am not against self-published fags, I am not even against tourists.
But his book is clearly thrash and he himself, as a person, is indistinguishable from the average reddit npc. He's like what? 22? 23? And he still thinks that reading Harry Potter is acceptable? That saying "I am not looking for criticism" is somehow fine? That browsing /r/memes is anything but juvenile and dangerous to one's intellectual capabilities?
One of the top comments to his posts is a guy displaying a tremendous amount of pride over liking Harry Potter instead of Twlight, because the latter is "for teenage girls and 40 year old moms". This is the kind of people that would be interested in his shit. This is his audience.

>>15535564
I read some of it, I am sorry but it's terrible. Honestly, you seem like you can write and you are definetely not afraid of publishing. For your next book just write a normal adventure story in fantasy setting, jokes, funny observations here and there are fine but drop that constant extremely low quality homour and memes. Good luck to you, OP.

jesus, the absolute state of this thread.
bro get some help you're shilling third rate garbage on a basket weaving image board, and keep arguing with people telling you to fuck off.

>>15536560
>low quality homour
nice Freudian slip there

>>15535564
real cool hope it goes well for ya

>>15535564
there should be /shill/ threads like there are /crit/, /sffg/, /pigge/ threads. If you're into it you'll find them easily, and if you hate them you can avoid them. I love /lit/, but /sffg/ is pleb country.

>>15537173
>I love /lit/, but /sffg/ is pleb country.
>implying /outerlit/ is even a little less terrible than /sffg/
You know people think DFW is legit here?

OP I don't read this kind of stuff but you are based for sharing copies of it

>>15537187
another anon has fallen for the DFW meme by not recognising it as a meme despite what the sticky wiki says

>>15537187
>/sffg/
>/outerlit/
/outerlit/? is that what these degenerates call us there?

>>15537388
Everyone on this board is an intellectually dishonest degenerate, you retarded nigger

What a deeply retarded thread, thank you for creating this, /lit/

>>15537662
we're like a self-hate group lol

>>15535564
>>15535655
>My sense of humor is fairly twisted, so my writing isn't for the faint of heart. My focus is to make fantasy more accessible to adults, particularly those who want a good laugh. If you prefer your fantasy stories humorous and a little raunchy, then Wizardrous is a good choice!
If you read Wizardrous and enjoy it, subscribe to my author page to stay updated on future novels! If you wish to contact me with any questions or comments related to my work, feel free to email me at j.a.hinsvark@gmail.com; don't be afraid to offer constructive criticism, I'm always happy to hear it!

No one here likes shills, Alex. Judging by the synopsis that book seems like it was written by a 12 year old. Free or not; it seems like shit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEOScv35m9Y

Can someone post the book already so I can see what the shit is going on with this thing? I can't get a free sample because of amazon's autism.

>Horrible customer service. I ordered one of their fried rices with substituted vegetables over the phone and they charged me $6 for the substitution; no one told me when I called that they would do this, and I've actually eaten there once before without them doing that, I had literally no warning until after my card was scanned. On top of that, they didn't even get the order right; I asked for it with no basil and they added basil anyway. I told them I wasn't paying $6 for some onions and bell peppers, and left the food there without signing the receipt; they charged my account anyway, which on top of being extremely unethical I'm pretty sure is also illegal. The guy actually called back after I left, trying to explain why they charged the extra, and when I told him I was going to dispute the charge with my bank he actually started yelling at me. The guy actually had the nerve to lie and say he refunded the money, which I just checked and he absolutely did not. Don't eat at this place if you like being treated with respect, the people running this place don't care about their customers at all.
- Jacob Alexander Hinswark

>>15537847
Don't worry, it will probably be on b-ok soon.

>>15535586
>CONTENT WARNING: Wizardrous is intended for mature audiences only. This book contains drugs, violence, heavy profanity, and moderate sexual content.
Why do self published authors do this?

>country restrictions
I tried

>>15535564
OP, could you give me an insight into your process for writing this book?

Research conducted? Fiction read? People interviewed?

How did you write it? Large plans? Handwritten? Stream of consciousness?

Any information would be much appreciated

>>15537662
Yeah, I'll be honest, I'm almost proud of how extra retarded this thread became after I went to bed. This kind of shit is like half the reason I sometimes shill my work here; it's goddamn hilarious how this board goes to chaos over a little advert. Y'all make /b/ seem organized.

>>15536696
It seems wasted on you to explain that I stopped posting in this thread about a third of the way down.

>>15538705
>haha i-it wasn't r-really me you guys
pathetic

>>15535600

Ohnonono

>>15538703
I wrote Wizardrous with the original intent of it being an animated web series. It started as a bunch of random scenes I thought would be funny, all featuring the same set of characters. It took me about ten months to write, writing about three or four hours a day on average. My process is pretty disorganized, but most of the book started as stream of consciousness. I like to get a bit buzzed before I write, so I won't be too critical, and then I'll reread what I wrote the next morning. My work is definitely more influenced by the television I watch than the books I read (I know, I'm a simp). My main influences are Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Rick and Morty, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and a bit of Arthurian legend (I'm not gonna lie... mostly from the TV show Merlin).

>>15538770
Thanks, I thought what I read of it was awful, so I wanted to know what to avoid.

>>15538790
Good for you. Have fun lurking in this thread all night?

>>15537878
kek, sounds like some /ck/ pasta.

>>15538770
I have browsed this board so much that I can't conceive someone actually having rick and morty as a serious influence. Thank you for existing.

>>15538883
No worries. Hopefully this gives you a reason to live or whatever.

You should quit writing

>>15538897

Yeah ok but why include niggers and gays? Is that part of your identity?

>>15538770
>My main influences are Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Rick and Morty, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and a bit of Arthurian legend (I'm not gonna lie... mostly from the TV show Merlin)
To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Wizardrous. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also the incorporation of the Arthurian legend, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily from absurdist literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Wizardrous truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in the comedy of The Wizard's origin which itself is a cryptic reference to Ilf's Russian epic Twelve Chairs. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those black skinned simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as J. A. Hinsvark's genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. And yes by the way, I DO have a Wizardrous tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.

>>15539034

Lmao. OP completely blown the fuck out. What is it about adult children and loving faggotry. Is it the chronic masturbation?

Someone beat me to them all, too bad, it sounded cool...

>>15539138
you can watch him read it for 45 minutes if you want
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufFttfAy0N8

Lmao.

>>15539158
poor guy. he seems really genuine and sweet. he just needs to stop being cunty online. i hope he continues fueling the flames of his passion for wizardry and jokes.

>>15539158
His facebook account is even better.

>>15539175
>why, yes, I shill my Rick and Morty inspired "humorous fantasy" on a board centered around authors like Melville and Joyce

>>15539158
dude is literally Shaggy without Scooby but too much dooby
>>15539034
my sides! give hime 5 stars on amazon with this review

>>15539181
bold and daring of you to pretend this board has quality discussion of anything but point taken. he seems autistic as fuck so i doubt the violating the norms of the board bother him. there’s a certain autism threshold that once surpassed results in concentrated and high doses of sincerity and i’d hate to see someone beaten back into a corner for being incredibly odd. that said he was being a huge bitch on here last night.

>>15538770
sounds kino, will check it out.

This is unreal. I had to go to his Facebook page just to prove to myself that this person actually exists and is not an over the top parody made by a drunken summer poster. He’s been shilling his book endlessly on Facebook for the past month and I guess thought this board would appreciate it. May God have mercy on your soul, Jacob Alexander Hinsvark. Maybe read some books meant for an adult audience, that’s some free advice.

>>15539190
The resemblance is uncanny.

>>15539223
His grandma is proud of him, what did (you) achieve in life, anon?

>>15539236
Nothing, anon. I am an unloved NEET whose days are an endless stream of shitposting and existential despair. But tonight, instead of lying in the darkness cursing my fate, I will rest easy knowing that I have never written a Rick and Morty inspired fantasy e-book and plugged it on /lit/.

>>15535757
You're not a bad writer.
There seems to be a metagame to how fiction is written in contemporary times. You fit that metagame well. That is why you are wasting your time trying to sell your book on 4chan. Most of us are not writers; we're mostly /pol/ and reddit tourists and people generally new to the board. A few of us write and nurse ambitions of being published, and a few of us write simply because we like writing, and have no real interest in whether or not we can sell our stuff. We'd just as well give it away for free.
I'm not saying there's anything wrong in being an entrepreneurial writer, but this is not the place to be if you want encouragement or even just to sell your book.

who wants pics of my cock

>>15539268
>cursing my fate
>fate
>it's the circumstances, not me!
kek, this cope

how did this trash get off fanfic dot net

What a terrible thread. I only read about one fifth of it but I regret even that. 1/10, I at least read some of it.

Guys, I sometimes have blackouts when it gets late and I forgot to take my meds, I'm sorry, ok?
I just thought some of you on here might like my book

My biggest inspirations were:
Stoner
War and Peace
My dairy desu
Towly from South Park

>>15539869
you should read the book lmoa

>>15539190
anon my sides fucking dooby

How many niggers are in the book

You're kinda cute, Alex.

This thread is embarrassing. It's not even funny, just sad

You look like a homo and your book is shit.

>>15540034
Where can I download this Arthurian Epic?

>>15535592
>>15535600
One job OP. One.

>>15535564
I don't like the general idea of shilling stuff here but good on you for getting your book done.

>>15540410
is there?

>>15539364
>Dwarf a dwarf
>with eyes of magnetta
>Scooby posting wizard got a vendetta
>Lying on the tattered, old couch he calls his bed
>Put his lips to the dragon, fire up the rear end

>>15535564
so what is your most erotic scene about?

>>15540791
Canadian classic Bear.

This is the funniest shit I've seen all week

>>15535564
Give us an erotic sample, wizard op

I'm unclear as to whether or not OP hates niggers but whomever made the posts complaining about them made me lose my shit, I haven't laughed like that probably in fucking months. So thanks for that. Bye.

I'm so glad the mods weren't faggots and allowed this thread to stay up. They always kill the fun.

I’m seriously surprised and happy my thread has stayed up this long. I’ve also gotten lots of social media exposure—a win in my book!

>>15542487
You may see upwards of 3 sales from this. Don't spend the royalties in one place

>>15542487
Zoinks!! Well gang, I guess that's a win in my book dotcha think scoob

>>15542497
>>15542513
Yikes guys, try not to be so bitter over the fact that I had the gumption and talent to actually publish.

>>15542533
Is this book not self published? Genuinely impressed if so

>>15542548
Why would that matter?

>>15539034
My fucking sides! Well memed sir. Put this shit on Amazon

>>15535564
>This eBook can not be redeemed by users in your country
Well fuck you too

>>15542572
>>15542548

Lmao of course it’s self published, if you read any of it, it’s a redditor‘s Rick and Morty fan fiction. Hilarious cringe, I’m going to advertise for you by describing any shit-tier writing I see as “Wizardrous.”

>>15542572
Not trying to be a dick but I'm not sure how it requires talent to self publish

What about us non Mericans? I want a google drive copy.

You know what Jacob, read through your reddit posts and it just made me sad. Lay off the drugs, man. Stop endlessly spamming promotional shit. We get that you’re excited about your finished work, but you’re acting like a retard. Please spend less time online, just looking through the endless pages of reddit posts with only one upvote made me feel dead inside. Stop trying to get encouragement and validation from the internet and spend some time in the real world. Somebody here mentioned your grandma, read some decent books that an educated adult wouldn’t be embarrassed by and tell her about them. If you like writing, keep writing. It seems like you pick up interests and then abandon them when you don’t get positive feedback. If you really love writing, you have to be able to keep going when nobody cares. But please please please read some books, what you produced would be good if it was written by a 14 year old. You’re young, but not that young.
Good luck, please get off my board.

>>15543252
it is self published and it reads like a badly written fanfiction

>>15543388
Frankly, I don’t give a fuck. I’m proud of my work.

>>15543691
glad to read that.
never surrender on your dreams and this is an small step; this /lit/izen is right in a lot of aspects >>15543388 except getting out of our board.
read more and write more every day and you do better next time and next time and the next time!!
and don't try drugs, that shit will ruin you.

>>15535564
Good job anon. I'm proud of you.

This is honestly just sad at this point. You realize that by carrying on for this long without him, you’re just giving OP exactly what he wants, yes? This was funny last night, but at this point it’s like watching a couple sweaty crackheads suck each other off. Just let this idiotic thread die, I’m getting pretty damn tired of seeing it.

>>15543922
Thanks for the bump!

>>15543922
>>15544433
Haha, imagine all that exposure his book is getting. I wonder why it still has no reviews and it's Amazon Best Sellers Rank hasn't chaned.

My book has no instances of racism, nor is it against gay people, it has many trans characters, independent females and the MC learns to appreciate and share his girlfriend with other men like he is supposed to do. He is also an avid communist.

>>15538790
Ouch!