/lit/ - Literature

>>16163088
Just bring your girlfriend no worries.

>library showers run out of soap

>>16163088
>Library stops serving fresh crab-legs

>>16163088
>finger condom dispenser outta hypoallergenic page turners

>>16163163
how does this woman make a living? her books don't sell right?

>>16163172
she sleeps with men for money
allegedly

>>16163155
Bro, i wish my library serves crab legs.

>library institutes Coffee Policy

>forgot to turn in an animorphs book 21 years ago
>go to renew my card
>$35,000 in compound late fees

>>16163175
Librarian scold you for chauvinistic typing noise?

>Library Cyclops moved the Odyssey to the History section again

>told to be quiet in library
>reading Book of Disquiet

>>16163266
Underrated, good job anon

>library establishes no psued policy

>>16163276
>underrated
wat

>take my falcon to the library to check out Infinite Jest (he wants to reread it)
>barely pass the pleb inspection and only pass the No Singles policy because of my falcon
>guy right in front of my gets pulled for a random girlfriend screening, breathe sigh of relief because I wouldn't have made it for sure
>walk through security, have to take off my belt and my shoes and my falcon gets stopped for a random screening
>finally make it to the fiction section after having to wait ten minutes for the monorail from the non-fiction section
>have to stop at the concession stand because my falcon is hungry
>order some popcorn for me and some crab legs for my falcon
>go up to cute librarian at the desk and ask "Hi ma'am, can you tell me where you keep your Wallace?"
>she turns to me and looks annoyed
>"David Foster?"
>"Yes ma'am"
>she blows a bubble with her gum and says "you'll have to pass the canon exam"
>go into back room
>have to sit for a 4 hour exam on the history western literature
>can barely recite pages from Finnegans Wake from memory
>falcon almost fails but is saved by The Greeks section (he studied in advance)
>librarian lady comes back and leads me to a large vault door
>have to do retina scans, fingerprints, and penis inspections before it's unlocked
>almost get a boner when she's fondling my penis to check for lumps
>finally get to see the tome I've been looking for
>go to check it out when the librarian says "wait, you've passed your virginity screening, right"
>start sweating, my falcon is nervously munching on his crab legs at this point
>"y-yes"
>she knows I'm lying
>they kick me out of the building and put me on 1 year surveillance to make sure I don't even think about going back to the library
>mfw

>>16163664
>Comment too long.
you can say that again

>>16163672
wrong board fag

>>16163664
10/10

/tv/ posters go back

>>16163664
I chuckled

>>16163664
HOO