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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/lit/ - Literature

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1623930 No.1623930 [Reply] [Original]

Have to write a 6 word story. Can I have a few critiques?

I'll bury this canvas, with you.

>> No.1623936

You misspelled berry.

>> No.1623941

YOU MISPELLED "WIT".

>> No.1623942

>>1623936
Kay thanks.

>> No.1623948

you kind of say too much

>> No.1623956

Disregard that story

what do you think of this one?

I am a huge flaming faggot

>> No.1623959

"i'll," "this," "with," and "you" don't add much, more nouns and verbs bruh they do the heavy lifting

>> No.1623968

Hmm. I want to try this.

Summer came hard and purged all.

>> No.1623990
File: 15 KB, 200x267, 157588_620086941_6957698_n.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1623990

For sale: baby shoes, never worn.

>> No.1623994

One time I ate a cat.

>> No.1623996

I'll bite:

Lol farts in your heart, bby.

>it's a treatise on... oh fuck, I can't be bothered to be witty right now. Laugh at my potty humor, you mongrels.

>> No.1623997

>>1623956
Pretty good autobiography you have there.

>> No.1623998

>>1623994

THEN, I FARTED UNCONTROLLABLY FOR MINUTES.

>> No.1624001

walmart receipt: duct tape, shovel, ammunition

>> No.1624002

>>1623968
Summer sounds like my kind of girl.

Ba dum, tss

>> No.1624006

We never began what we started

>> No.1624008

Second door. Smell of rotting meat.

>> No.1624013

Bury me with my shoes on

>> No.1624014

Blood and shit; blood and shit

>> No.1624015
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1624015

>>1624006

>> No.1624019

my fingers still stunk of her

>> No.1624021

Screen doors slams; a vision dances

(ripping off springsteens never felt better)

>> No.1624024

divorce papers in the mail box

>> No.1624026

>>1624021

That should be

The screen door slams
Mary' dress waves

>> No.1624031
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1624031

First time at /lit/: awesome

>> No.1624035

"WILL WORK FOR WAY TO WORK"

>> No.1624036

>>1624031
I miscounted now I feel stupid

>> No.1624037

Must get rid of the body.

>> No.1624044

>>1624036
Don't. It's cool. We're all bros here.

>my seven makes up for your five
>I want to fuck

>> No.1624078

>>1623930

How bout

They'll bury us with this canvas

makes it more interesting

>> No.1624089

>Six words, use contractions, lengthen story.

>> No.1624111

>>1624078
That changes the meaning completely you crazy whore.

>> No.1624112

>>1624111

GET IN THAT NET YOU CRAZY WHOOOOOOOOOOORE

>> No.1624121

>>1624112
TOO MANY WORDS YOU CRAZY WHOOORRRE!!!!11!!!

>> No.1624126

Moon and I danced for days.

>> No.1624131

Please don't break my nose again.

>> No.1624133
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1624133

>>1624126
Moon; and I danced for days.

>> No.1624136

We couldn't have done any worse.

>> No.1624140

>>1624133

Two different meanings, but they both work.

>> No.1624141

>>1624136

But did'jya have to fuck her?

>> No.1624147

>>1624133
THIS IS SO HOT !

>> No.1624150

>>1624147
Please leave, Stagolee. You are a faggot.

>> No.1624156

>>1624150
>clearly show masculine affection for a female's butt
>get called gay
lol anon

>> No.1624160

>>1624156
>assumes that it is definitively 'masculine' to be attracted to women
>is overly verbose
>still posts comments like HURR DURR HOT
>takes being called a faggot literally

You're a loser, then.

>> No.1624162

>>1624156
You may not be gay, but you are certainly the worst tripfag on /lit/.

>> No.1624163

Elegance became her; death embraced her.

>> No.1624164

>>1624160
If i was taking the word "faggot" literally then I would assume you were calling me a bundle of sticks, and then you would make even less sense.

>> No.1624166

>>1624162
Excuse me?

>> No.1624167

Few men see the dawns light

>> No.1624171

>>1624160
>>1624166
>>1624164

Stop de-railing this thread thank you

>> No.1624173

>>1624164
Firstly, not the same anon. Secondly, it's the common definition of the word 'faggot'.

faggot2
n
Slang chiefly US and Canadian a male homosexual Often shortened to fag
[special use of faggot1]
faggoty adj


You're an idiot trying to act smart. Stop.

>> No.1624179

They ached and never saw light.

>> No.1624180

>>1624173
>Slang chiefly US and Canadian
Oh so you're american?
that explains it.

>> No.1624184

>>1624180

Or Canadian.

They were lost like discarded pennies.

>> No.1624188

Never going to give you up

>> No.1624189

>>1624180

No one remembers or cares what you were originally arguing about.

>> No.1624190

>>1624184
>implying Canadians aren't American
>implying Mexicans aren't American
>implying Brazilians aren't American
>IMPLYING

>> No.1624191

>>1624188
Never going to make you cry

>> No.1624197

Wade blinds an Italian Pokemon Trainer.

>> No.1624198

>>1624190

I did not imply that. You inferred that.

A car crashed and Petrus lost.

>> No.1624202

Watch out for candlejack, he is

>> No.1624203

>>1624198
>excludes niggers niggers niggers nigger
>NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER
>niggers nigggers EXCLUDE NIGGERS
>HEY EVERYBODY
>THIS GUY WANTS TO EXCLUDE NIGGERS
>LET'S LYNCH HIM

>> No.1624207

The saxophonist rode the night unwillingly.

>> No.1624211

I heard you like it anally.

>> No.1624213

"The fudge was made by her."

I don't even.

>> No.1624215

Fell at 13, just got rope.

>> No.1624216

It came, killed many, then vanished.

>> No.1624218

He finally hung from the wall.

>> No.1624221
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1624221

>>1623930
>>1623968
>>1624001
>>1624008
>>1624024
>>1624037
>>1624131
>>1624136
>>1624216

>> No.1624223

I drove home, never made it.

>> No.1624226

My special moment came too quick

>> No.1624227

As they ran, the beast awoke.

>> No.1624228

ITT: faggots think vague sentences are stories.

>> No.1624229

*spin*
*click*
*spin*
*click*
*spin*
*bang*

>> No.1624230

>>1624221
did you just pick the worst?

>> No.1624231
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1624231

>>1624228
>>1624230
Jelly status: confirmed.

>> No.1624232

>>1624231

no really though there are much better ones on here those are honestly the worst in my opinion

>> No.1624234

>>1624232

So which ones do you think are the best?

>> No.1624235

>>1624232
All of them blow. Hem's original alludes to certain things. These all are just faggy, meaningless sentences written by teenaged douche canoes.

>> No.1624237

>>1624179
>>1624021
>>1624014
>>1624006
>>1623990
>>1623930

>> No.1624238

>>1624235

That's more than six words sorry

>> No.1624262

>>1624238
ownt

>> No.1624274

Deconstruction of the romance genre:

"But I love you!", she said.

>> No.1624287

>>1624031
You must come from /a/. Feel at home, pal.

>>1624274
sequel:
The haiku reader said: "I came!".

>> No.1624334

It shrank away, leaving me forever.

>> No.1624336

I never had an erection again.

>> No.1624339

And I never again said goodbye.

>> No.1624346
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1624346

>mfw >>1624336 is the sequel to >>1624334

>> No.1624349

Six words isn't enough fucking scope.

>> No.1624356

Then I said, cool story bro

>> No.1624392

Captain Ahab buttfucked Moby Dick, Ishmael.

>> No.1624393

"How's dinner? I came into it."

>> No.1624396

It slid out like an eel.

>> No.1624399

We laughed, but not for long.

>> No.1624420

The blankets are too warm, sweetie.

>> No.1624430

Could we kiss once more, please?

>> No.1624452

Tell them to want me less

>> No.1624855

We cared. But was it enough?

>> No.1624860
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1624860

It was all worth it, afterall.

>> No.1624865

I came all over his ass.

>> No.1624867

We walked through Manhattan. I wept.

>> No.1624880

Though outcries quashed, they remained defiant.

>> No.1624897

lateral thinking, pudding pie soul gunk

>> No.1624901

Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came from

>> No.1624907

We tried. We failed. They suffered.

>> No.1624909

A start. A middle. An end?

>> No.1624910
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1624910

Boy, that was a close one.

>> No.1624912

Japan's been raped in the butt.

>> No.1624917

Climbing over choleric bums destroying poverty

>> No.1624919
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1624919

Our bare nest is a casket.

>> No.1624921

4chan's /lit/ board is fucking terrible.

>> No.1624924

/lit/ is really bad at this.

>> No.1624934

Start strong! Keep it up! fail.

>> No.1624935

>>1623930
I did vault your grilled prattles!

>> No.1624938

Doors slammed shut. No food tonight.

>> No.1624953

Dicks in mouth. Start cumming. Yum.

>> No.1625009

A red cup and missing panties.

>> No.1625013

I never liked dying on Tuedays.

>> No.1625018

I still think about you, Love.

>> No.1625183

Together we watched him die alone.