/lit/ - Literature

>spine repair machine is out of order
I turn 360 degrees and walk right out of there everytime

>>17490630
>library showers
Pardon?

>library showers

>>17491439
>>17491441
>they haven’t perspired profusely from an infinite jest reading session at the library

What the hell do you think they’re there for?

>>17490630
>library gnomes took the collected works of Spinoza to the gnome realm

>have to wait four hours until the cute librarian ends her shift so she doesn't see my stack and judge it

>>17490630
>library treadmill is stained with brown shoe polish
Who wears BROWN oxfords on the treadmill?

>library waterslide is STILL leaking on the philology section

>>17491466
shooting up H?

>>17490630
>all the desks are occupied by bookworms
>walk straight to the dictionaries

>>17491466
to get bullied by the cute big booba librarian mommy dommy ofc

>library clown made fun of me because I forgot to wear my library shoes

>>17492170
keep a spare pair in your locker

>the chief librarian gave me the award for nicest Queneau reader of the month
>my crush got the award for prettiest Beckett reader of the month
>mfw she said to me with a big smile that she'd love to hear me talk about Queneau in 26 different styles
>mfw she touched my arm
>mfw she smelt like a blue flower

>>17492050
>he doesn't sit on the floor

>Lost $500 in the library cockfight arena
>The other faggot had razorblades on his rooster

I hate the new ceiling shelves in my libe, I know it's cool but the magnets are weak and books keep falling on my head. Surely there's a better way

>dropped my book in the library chocolate fountain

>Get hungry in my library during studies
>Go to get some fries in the literature food stand
>Its tasty
>Take a look at the paper the fries are wrapped in
>Its wrapped in pages of Deleuze books
Does this happen in your library this cant be normal

>Go to Australian lit section
>Book shelves are all placed on the ceiling
>Have to rent gravity boots to even get to them

>go to library
>showers are closed
>can't order food
>nonfiction section is offline
>VR betatesting station full of comedy writing troupes

>Failed to pass the fitness entrance exam to enter the ancient greek section again
Its not fair bros I just want to enter now I have to wait a month again

>>17492696
>Go to Australian lit section
>it has 2 books

>>17492745
i know.
i actually got stuck INSIDE of the Children's section last month after i forgot my login details for my Tinder account.

>>17492745
I failed the faggot test and know I can't access the roman section. I just can't stand sucking cock, I guess I'll never be /lit/

>>17492774
Surely the five copies of Zombie Bums from Uranus count as separate books

>>17492788
No, prisons aren't allowed a lot of books

>>17490630
I find your contention that your local library is in possession of showers frankly preposterous but at the same time I'm curious to learn more about the history of such a circumstance, questioning whether the architect considered if it was wise to have free hygienic facilities in an area frequented by the homeless, whether placing a source of water nearby books, the purpose of a library, which are easily damaged or destroyed when wettened, was deemed wise, and a thousand other such conundrums. Your claim is almost foolish enough to be a reality, and if you made it merely to "get my goat" as the younger generation phrases it, I commend you, for you have certainly succeeded in that task.

>ereader fell in the library hot tub

>tfw getting splashed by the book dolphin because my pages per minute is too slow

>Go to the library prostitute
>Pick the ugly one because i feel like she might be less judgmental
>Whip out my erect 4 incher and get a blowjob
>Ask her how she feels about her raison d'etre being a prostitute
>She stops and starts laughing
>Tells me that you dont pronounce it like raisin deter.
>Run out of the library in shame
I dont think i can ever go back

>Trying to read Schopenhauer by the Sacred Fire to stay warm.
>Vestal Virgins won't quit offering to elope with me.

>>17492962
>Prostitute rambled about Hegelian dialectics during climax again
I ALWAYS pick the wrong one

>>17493004
I always pick the one that's visibly disgusted by me, so when i fuck her it's basically legalized rape. Got this tip from another anon.

>dick inspection day at the library
>forget to wash
>nurse spots this and orders me to sit in the corner and read Tao Lin books

This is the 3rd time this month, I don’t know how I keep failing the test bros

>library bar closed
>forgot flask at home

>>17493572
>library liquor store doesn't sell to people who haven't read all of Joyce's work
Bs

Solid Gold: The Thread, Rated PG-13 for Absurdist Content, Viewers may find some scenes disturbing, Parental discretion is advised.

>library ball pit isn't color coded

>fire up library desktop computer #12 to shitpost on /lit/
>IP is banned
>have to hitchhike to neighboring county's library to shitpost

>>17493219
Wash your balls bucko

>>17492696
>>17492774
Tfw spent a week climbing on the ceiling trying to get to the Australian section, it only has The Governance of China.

>>17491466
Hobos