/lit/ - Literature

>>17829314

>>17829314
I don't know if any book, Anon. Still wanted to drop by and tell you that you'll find a comfortable place in the future. Sometimes it's difficult to find someone that fits with you, but one day you'll realize what or who will make a good match with you. You're allowed to make mistakes and to fuck up; you're not wasting anything or doing anything wrong. Chin up, king. You'll get there and it'll be worth it.

>>17829314
The show, "the end of the fucking world" is based on a book I think... watch the show though, I think it is this genre real easy like.

>>17829314
I don't know about any books, but I'm in a similar situation. I can get sex, but I'm scared to because I'm so insecure and scared of intimacy/vulnerability.

>>17829314
>The idea of sex is scary to me, because I don't want to hurt somebody or let them hurt me.
when I lost my virginity it certainly was an "anxious mood", after making out and knowing I had to penetrate her my heart started racing. I put on the condom and gently put my penis in (because I was scared of hurting her), at that when I was inside her all the anxiety stoped. It really isn´t that big of a deal when you compare it with other normal types of fear in life. If the fear of having sex was on a scale from 1 to 10, its probably a 3 or 4.
Also, the experience depends a lot on the girl. I´ve had friends who lost their virginity with girls that were not gentle at all and it caused them unnecessary anxiety.
You just need a bit of courage

>>17829351
Why are you scared of intimacy / vulnerability?

>>17829328
No no no dis one

>>17829401
I feel like if I let someone in they'll just end up rejecting me once they get to know me and I'll be hurt. I don't see myself as a loveable, or even likeable, person.

>>17829424
I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you build your confidence over time and find someone to love.

>>17829314
Sad story, anon; I think we're in similar predicaments: 28 year old, kissless virgin here, more or less asexual but kind of thinking I should get married at some point and unsure how that is ever going to happen, or even if I could cope desu

>>17829470
Thank you anon

>>17829424
Self-confidence is a prerequisite for any type of happiness anon

>>17829314
>>17829479
Oh, and I'd recommend The Imitation of Jesus Christ btw

>>17829424
You need to love yourself first. Before you let anyone in, you need to be comfortable letting yourself in.

>>17829483
I know, but I have no idea how to develop it. I’ve done therapy, tried medication, etc. It has helped me overcome my social anxiety and I’m now able to function like a normal person for the most part, but I’m still extremely insecure and too scared to try to form any sort of meaningful connection.

>>17829504
Do you belong to a church or something anon? that could help to ease you into getting closer to people more naturally

>>17829484
Why do you suggest this?

I own a copy and read about half of it a while back, and may consider going back and re-reading it.

>>17829520
No, I live in a very secular area and was raised in a secular home. The only people who attend church here are baby boomers.

>>17829526
>>17829532
Oh too bad, anon; just suggested it because it's a good book, and I enjoyed reading it greatly (though it's not exactly motivational, positive-thinking material!); if you're not religious, maybe try to find Jesus, or simply some social group for, I dunno, bowling, shooting, running... Although if you're in semi-lockdown of course, that's not really feasible

>>17829504
I can't really give you a guide on how to develop it, the process is different for each person, it was natural for me but I've seen countless people who only gained self confidence through a laborous period of intense suffering.
What I can tell you 100% is this: it starts with not caring about the opinions of other people. Social relations is a jew game where its rigged from the start
To truly love engaging with people is to talk to them from the heights, not from depths. To love your fellow men is to love yourself, it comes from a position of strenght and confidence

>>17829490
You say that but do you have any idea how difficult it is for someone to learn to love themself?

>>17829579
Yes I know its difficult, no one said its easy. I only gained incredible self confidence after spending years feeling like a loser and coming out of that with a drive to persevere
Confidence needs baggage and a lot of weight for you to view it with the pride it requires

>>17829314
Read Faust

I saw this on another board and thought this might cheer you up!

>>17829314
nigga pussy is absolute heaven, why tf are you scared of it

>>17829717
If you can laugh at yourself, you're doing well.

>>17829717
>he browses /x/

>>17829314
I recently read White Lights by Dosto
It was pretty much my diary desu

>>17829314
Dude I'll be honest with you, don't attempt sex with this attitude. The depravity of women will scare you, 90% of them want to get dominated, called a whore, fucked roughly and slapped about.

Man up, or stay blissfully naive.

>>17829596
Difficult is an understatement. It feels impossible.

The older I get the less I worry about being a virgin, and the less I feel the need of having a gf in the first place.
It caused me a lot of distress throughout my teens and early 20s, now at 26, not so much.

>>17829976
How does it feel to dominate a woman sexually, call her a whore, f**k her roughly and slap her during sex?

To me it seems like something that would haunt me for the rest of my life.

>>17829971
It seems you do as well.

>>17829983
Reminder that lack of confidence comes from weakness.
Just to remind you, so that everytime you feel confused as what the cause is, is weakness

>>17830104
It feels great. They also love it so all's well.

>>17830104
It isn't my cup of tea.

>>17829314
Guaranteed someone will think this is a cringe recommendation, but you sound like you're at the right stage of life to watch Evangelion. Watch the series, and watch End of Evangelion. I 100% think it'll have some value to you.

>>17830125
this guy

>>17830104
That's when you'll feel like a MAN for the first time in your life.

>>17830117
I have a small peepee. That's the source of my insecurity. Guess, I'll be like this forever. At least I tried living.

>>17829314
The book you are looking for is: Moira - Julien Green

>>17829424
I didn't see this, I'm going to double down on my Evangelion recommendation.

Also, I really understand what you're going through. I consider myself lucky for having had a girlfriend for a few months, but I lost her because I was afraid of opening up or being intimate in any way. Confidence is so important, but it's terrifying to open up and risk being hurt as well.

>>17830104
It sounds messed up. Now imagine that woman being the mother of your children too.

>>17830104
His experience with women is not mine. None of the women I've been with have been interested in being dominated. I think it just depends on who you find yourself with and who you attract or are attracted to.

>>17830146
Well, god thinks you're a disgusting nigger and made you dickless. Complain to him in the afterlife

>>17830158
It's part of the theatrics of sex. Like roleplaying. It's not meant to be taken seriously.

>>17830187
There's no God nor afterlife, mate. This is it.

>>17830117
Weakness in what sense? Physical or mental? In either case, I don’t think that’s it for me. I just really don’t like myself.

>>17830125
I agree with this although I can’t say it got me over it. It just makes sense given the context.

>>17830104
Sex is the most primal and powerful expression of gender, the strongest biological and psychological imperative we have. You have to take control in bed, and the woman assumes her natural submissive role. This is Sex 101, every single girl I fucked eventually admitted she wants to get roughed up (to certain degree of course).

>>17829314
if you want to actually experience love then dont have sex right off the bat. given the current state of the western world this will be hard, but, if you find a decent woman, live with her like brother and sister for a few years until you think of doing anything physical with her. this will be of great benefit to your relationship. this doesnt directly answer your question, but I would strongly recommend you read the life of St. Elizabeth Feodorovna and her husband Sergey. God be with you fren.

>>17830204
Mental. Its weakness towards an external cause. All emotions are a unit in themselves, they're always a comparison between the power of an external cause and yourself
Read Pic related.

>>17830243
aren't a unit*

>>17829314
if you were a girl, would you even consider dating frogposter?

>>17830012
I thought so too when i was 26 but everything flipped approaching 30. The true regret will fall on your shoulders with full weight.

i am terrified of "exposing" myself

>>17831198
The unbearable feeling of being known… the pitiless judging gaze of not just a woman but all of Society evaluating you… you're so weird, Anon…

>>17831273
cant break it

>>17831198
>>17831286
I know this feel. It's strange, because I thought it was just something I had picked up during my emo-tier adolescence, and which had developed due to my sustained isolation and resentment. But recently I found a class photograph from around the age of eight and I was the only person in the photo who had their arms folded and was shying away from being photographed. In my own case I believe it's a mixture of paranoia, being coddled too much as a young person (or, not being exposed to enough experiences which were dangerous - psychologically or physically - which I could learn from and adapt to), and a sensitivity which is often so acute as to be offputting in how pathetic it is. I feel like if I talked honestly to a girl, and allow her to see how I was living, all hopes about what I may be like etc would not only dissipate (something inevitable when becoming intimate with someone) but would not be replaced by any compensatory feelings of fondness for myself as a real, sincere person. That must be a result of feeling inadequate in some sense, although at this point (late 20s) I have made so many mistakes, done and said so many extremely cringeworthy things, failed on a moral level several times, that I have become quite cold, detached, and at peace with my near-total isolation. The excitement of youth, the naive ambitions and emotional intensity of earlier days, have all but passed, and I am left with a sense of deep resignation towards life and my own prospects, and a largely indifference view of the world which is only occasionally interrupted by sudden periods of intense emotional investment. I feel like a ship which has lost its sail, drifting in the middle of an ocean, its crew having either fled or settled for a future in which they lazily defend themselves against the occasional stormy weather.

What is troubling is that during my regular daydreams I can easily imagine myself being in a romantic relationship, and the kinds of mundane experiences (e.g., fitting a fresh sheet on a bed, talking in the car on the way to the supermarket, brushing your hand against their body as you pass in the kitchen) which seem so desirable and which would provide the kind of regular experiences of emotional attachment and general happiness that make life worth living for so many people. And yet I no longer even desire these experiences on an emotional level, as I did in my early twenties when imagining such things would leave me restless and depressed. Now I daydream about such things as though they are relics of a life I did not live, or some kind of artistic expression which I think about more in an aesthetic sense than an emotionally-involved manner. I would very much like to spend a spring or summer day with a girl who likes me and who I like in a park or something like that, and to kiss her, and to feel on that strangely deep emotionally instinctive level that we are both enjoying the experience.

>>17831400
very good post
i have been alone my whole life

>>17831472
In a fundamental sense, everybody has. Nobody really merges with another being, outside of the act of procreation, which only results in the merger or two people in the form of another person who is fundamentally alone.

>>17831531
i have had my guard up so long i really cant bring it down

>>17831546
Oh, my mistake - I misinterpreted your previous post.

>>17831400
you got nothing to lose friend. if you push yourself to try, in the end you will not regret that you did not. if you fail at the least you could just move to thailand.

>>17831553
thank you for reply

>>17829314
Where are you anon?
Imma suck yo dick

>>17831546
You need to get out there. Start with the show Friends. I know this isn't /tv/, but I don't know of lit that could help. You gotta get a friend's group. Like the grime raper's say, "man gets girl with a gang"