/lit/ - Literature

first for zyzz

>>18004636
Honestly, why do you feel the need to shill vtuber stuff in the generals?

How well do you know your protagonist?

Does your protagonist have smegma?

Does your protagonist collect boogers under his desk?

Would your protagonist drink milk that expired yesterday if it smells right?

Has your protagonist ever entertained the thought of autofellatio?

If you can't answer all of these, you need to start developing your characters more.

So, I’m about to write my story, and I want to know one thing beforehand before I do so. In my story, which is a police interrogation in which the main character is recalling the past events, the chapters are a mix of first person and third person. With the third-person chapters working like an interlude. Is that doable? Or would it be to confusing?

>>18004910
but what if none of that is relevant to the story??

>>18004932
italicize

>>18004953
You must not spend much time here. Who has a screencap of that story about Nabokov, the young aspiring writer, and the tree outside the window? Please post it here for the guy who doesn't think smegma is important to character development.

>>18004932
>started writing a story in 1st person
>had the idea to have 3rd person chapters here and there to add to the greater narrative
>ended up being jarring
>scrapped them but the ideas were recycled
it can work, I've seen it work, its difficult

>>18004910

No, he's circumcised

No, he just flicks them

Yes, even if it's a little sour. He trusts his sense of taste and smell enough to know if milk has gone bad, and he can't really afford to let drinkable milk go to waste

He's tried to see if his spine could bend like that (it can't) but he'd never consider actually doing it

How do I get over my repression and stop feeling embarrassed over writing smut and just do it?

>>18005021
>writing a circumcised protagonist
NGMI

>>18005074
its a revenge story

>>18005021
>No, he's circumcised
that sounds like a damn jewish

>>18004998
I think the key is to start the 3rd person chapter off with a lot of dialogue so that it almost melds into third person from the previous first person chapter.

/wg/, I'm having trouble understanding one of my characters' motivations

long story short, she's a timid, anxious girl who was born without muscular inhibitions. Her dad got her into comic books because he thought superman would make a good role model. after he was killed in a protest she tried being a real superhero got beat up by a bunch of teenagers. too afraid to identify her attackers they got off scott-free. she gave up on superheroes but few months later the same teens jumped her and she got isekai'd. The other world she wound up was actually pretty grimdark but she was rescued by an older boy and the group of isekai survivors he lived with. the boy tried to encourage her to come out of her shell but she struggled to prove herself. one day the group was attacked and the boy tried to buy her some time to escape but he got captured by the natives of this other world. this caused her to overcome her fear and go back for him

Here's the thing, I don't understand what she's afraid of. is she afraid of getting hurt, or hurting someone else? The parallel between the older boy and her father is that both believed in taking risks to do the right thing, but neither of them considered that the sacrifices they made for her sake ended up hurting her because it hurt them. So then is she afraid then of losing people, or that her dying would hurt people she cares about. I don't get her.

>>18005356
>isekai
Have you tried writing something else?

>>18005356
>born without muscular inhibitions
this is the part I don't get. does she have retard strength which causes her to unknowingly injure herself?

>>18005377
I'm writing what I want to write

>>18005388
basically, although she's not really retarded, she just did dumb shit becuase she was a little kid in neglectful household trying to process grief and injustice.

realistically, it would also mean her ability to feel pain is dulled, but that makes things more complicated. why would she be afraid of being hurt if she can't feel it?

>>18005356
Try asking her

>>18005505
lmao no anon could ever talk to a girl

I am writing a eulogy for my grandfather. He got me into reading literature, and he’s also why I collect first editions. Where do I find good examples of eulogies? Any tips on eulogizing? Is pic related accurate?

>>18004636
I would just write detailed plans for committing genocide on the non-Americans and call it “fiction”

>>18004636
>Any progress on your novels?
Yes, I'm done now. I was never going to become the next Faulkner, the next Nabokov or the next Joyce, but I hid behind the language barrier to avoid criticism for months, maintaining an illusion that was fun to live in while it lasted.
This will be my final post on /lit/. I've been humiliated and exposed as a fraud. My writing is pretentious, infantile, banal drivel. My observations are dull, my language grade school level.
My tenses are mixed up, I use colloquialisms, ellipses and onomatopoeia. I mix tired and trite idioms together to obfuscate their unoriginality with a veneer of irony.
I was never cut out for writing. I began writing my "book" on January 6th. Since then I've produced 69 thousand words for it. These words are a tide of garbage without value, without insight, without form. The themes of time, space, infinity, memory and pointless duelling are not present in my work. It was never real writing, it was anime and weebshit. Look how many words I wrote, because apparently literature is bodybuilding and just aimlessly typing will somehow improve my writing. I don't even know what genre it is that I'm writing. Is it autofiction? A comedy? A picaresque?
Regardless, I have failed. I have put down my pen. Never again will my fingers click-clack across the keyboard. No more outlines, no more characters. Goodbye.

>>18004636
behead vtubers and their simpathizers

>>18006052
This is a decent waldun copypasta

>>18006091
What's a waldun?

TFW you come up with another good idea

My poetry sucks:

The house is a memory, prolonged by a passerby.
Her floors splinter, the paint peels and bones grow weak atop unmoving earth.
A thick smell of incense, now mildew

She sustains her memory through random drafts, breathing through the cracks.
Her interior goes from grey to yellowish haze, and dust in the air moves in light-beams.
The world lives outside, so tangible and young it bellows white curtains behind closed glass.

And now there a young woman.
Her bare dance across the sun-warmed floors.
Through a blur, flushed cheeks are tight in a smile, looking back to you with each spin.

Her smile fades and her twirling white dress becomes a motionless curtain.
The glass is un-tinted, clear, and objective.
She is a thing past, and you never truly knew her for certain.

>>18006205
What's your big idea anon? Mine is a twist: at the end of the story it turns out everything was a dream!

>>18006220
Nothing too important, just the next part of my book.

>>18005356
Like
>>18005505
said, get her to write out her fears. Sometimes you'll find useful stuff in that format. But ultimately it sound more to me like she's just immature and hasn't accepted that she needs to do the hard things regardless. She was likely very sheltered and not encouraged to grow appropriately.

>>18006205
>so many ideas
>so little time
>you will never write them all
I shouldn't be here. I should be writing. Or at least watching Open University.

Is literary fiction banal drivel 99% of the time? It feels like a lot of current literary writers are beating against the wall because the classics seems to have done it all. Like, if you don't win awards, then your work may as well be worthless.

Pic is just my writing.

Making myself do rewrites for this second draft feels impossible. I rewrote the first chapter, and that wasn't too bad, but now I look at the next 22 chapters I need to rewrite and get so intimidated I can barely continue. I guess maybe I need to harness the power of deluding myself and say that this is just another first draft that nobody will see, but then how can I be sure that the quality is improving? I wish I did this shit for a living and could just treat it as a regular job, but even if I wind up succeeding and getting decent money from this, that's still at least six months of sitting in slush piles away. It's all so remote.

>>18006434
You know, when you're working on a computer you don't need to do multiple drafts, right? The reason writers in the past did that was because it was impossible to make many corrections or changes on typed or hand-written pages, but with digital you can just edit things as you please, there's no drafts anymore

>>18006462
Don't ever reply to my posts again.

>>18006473
Dude I'll beat your ass I'm not joking. Fucking sick of being treated like that out of nowhere.

ANNIE MAY

>>18005356
>>18005444
Knockoff Mikasa detected.

>>18006473
Yeah but seriously though, don't call it a draft. This is the future you chose.

>>18005444
Maybe write a scene from her past where she accidentally hurts others and can’t bear it, or accidentally gets hurt herself and it scars her. Then you can see which you prefer and which you think will better support your conflict?

>>18004636
Am I not a writer? Am I not fit for it? Anyone else struggling to see what sort of writer you might become in this life?

I've had my poems and prose published in magazines, journals, and have even given publics readings of my work

But I just don't seem to have the drive to write something unless I have an idea take absolute hold of me. I've seen people with no (discernible) talent just be able to write pages upon pages of books upon books. I've know someone who wrote and published three books by the time he became my age of twenty-four.

Maybe I just don't know how to become a writer. Maybe I just don't know how to become the kind of writer that I dream of being, i.e. one that can live off of writing literary fiction and also gets their works reviewed in literary journals and someone who becomes a part and contributor of the culture.

>>18006553
>But I just don't seem to have the drive to write something unless I have an idea take absolute hold of me.
That's fine, not everyone has journalism or copywriting background that enables them to write on command. And there are plenty of stories of writers that thought that they had to write one genre, then realized that they are proficient in something completely different. Because they wrote to fit external stimuli instead of writing based on internal.

>>18006553
>I've had my poems and prose published in magazines, journals, and have even given publics readings of my work
Congratulations, you made it.

Should my main character be barefoot (y/n)?

>>18006803
Male or Female?
Male, only when the story needs it.
Female, always.

>>18006831
>>18006831

>>18006837
Oh for the love of all that is holy

>>18006816
He is a barbarian from the far north and isn't used to the warm climate. One day he will have a daughter who will make the same journey. So he will have to be barefoot to maintain narrative consistency.
not a footfag btw

>>18007074
You lose 90% of heat from your head.
Being barefooted in warm climates is basically redundant, and could potentially be hazardous as depending on the temperature, he could burn his feet... Or he could step on a knife.

Pop a pair of sandals on him.
But keep them off his daughter.

This is probably a stupid question, but;
How do you do italics in italics?
I put my characters thoughts in italics, but how would I emphasis certain words/phrases within it?
>/how dare he steal MY money!/
>/how dare he steal/ my /money!/
The capitalization one feels more angry than the character means to be, so would plaintext work better?

>>18007275
Italicized in italicized is regular text.

>>18004998
>>18004932

Read Conrad's Heart of Darkness and try to keep a track of when the perspective and narrator changes.

It's a master class in narrative technique - and it was done to mean something, not just to be "original".

Are fake reveals good writing?

I thought I'd have the antagonist "reveal" something to the protagonist about another character that is verifiably not true to throw them off guard, but I feel like no one would like that and I don't remember seeing anything similar done well anywhere else

>>18006052
Holy shit, I hit 70k words. This feels utterly unreal. We're all going to make it you guys.

>>18007553
Nothing wrong with that. Only, believing the antagonist just like that would be pretty retarded, of the protagonist and readers alike.

are spilled and spilt interchangeable?

>>18008103
Yes.

I fucking hate naming characters.
Everything feels either too whimsical, or too generic. There is no sweet spot.
The 'Random Name Generator's' have the same problem.
It's either Chris Smith, or Christian Nevermore.

>>18008273
>Christian Nevermore
Can you not see how unfathomably based this is? Always lean into whimsy. If your fiction can support it, it will make it stronger, and if it cannot support it, you were going to fail anyways.

>>18008303
It doesn't seem to fit in with the story I am writing though. It's just a small romantic drama set in the real world, so whimsical names don't feel right, and generic names feel boring.

>>18008303
>>18008273
What do you guy's think of Matt Doyle for a Colonel who has a death wish. Want a better first name.

>>18008343
Clint Doyle sounds more military.

>>18008347
Interesting, will take into consideration.

>>18008273
Think about sound rather than meaning

>>18008379
Give an example?

Friends, how do I stop despising my prose or focusing on insignificant details? I'm able to sketch out what I think are reasonably compelling characters and incidences for short stories that animate my imagination, but when I finally begin writing the prose I have trouble focusing on the stuff that matters vs describing whether a character buckles her seatbelt when she gets in the car. Is this something that will dissipate the more I write?

>>18008409
I had the same problem. I started to write in English instead of my own language, because the smaller vocabulary forced me to keep things simple and focus only on the stuff that matters. After years of writing in English, I was then able to transfer the same style back to my own language. But I guess this isn't really the ideal solution.

>>18008534
that's an interesting solution anon. Unfortunately, I'm Anglophone and my second language isn't developed enough to utilise this, but I think it's an interesting strategy for sure. Thanks for the reply nonetheless

>>18007130
You don't lose 90% of heat from your head.

>>18004636
Need some advice:
I constantly see people saying that "show don't tell" makes good writing and I agree but it's so hard to tell how to do that and when I read books I find that a lot of authors don't really tell as much as they show. I've also heard not to use abstractions which again seems like good advice but a lot of writers I've read do and I feel like it works. Is it just a case of how well you can do it or is it more of a modern technique?

>>18008767
All that advice is saying is that your writing needs to maintain some sense of mystery. If a reader says "you're telling too much," what they usually mean is "you didn't give me much to think about." You can tell the reader all you want, but you have to give them some mystery that they can apply the information to as a sort of clue, or it won't stick. Most beginners have no idea how to do this and the only way they will produce anything readable is by only ever showing concrete things and telling nothing. That's not necessarily a bad style to maintain, either, but it's not the only style. It's just the hardest to fuck up.

>>18007130
>>18008680
https://archive.org/stream/ToKnowAFly/Toknowafly_djvu.txt
horses lose sweat over their whole bodies, dog lose sweat by panting, cats perspire through their paws, humans pee but they also lose water through breathing and lots of heat thru the head, flies don't sweat at all but they are practically living in a desert because they lost water so readily because small creatures have way higher surface area per unit volume which means not only proportionally higher water evaporation but high heat loss also

>>18008837
Thanks, that's a good way to put it. Can you give me some examples of showing that isn't concrete?

>finish the contents of chapter 5 before chapters 3 and 4 because reasons
>turns out chapter 4 was actually two chapters so now chapter 5 is chapter 6
Progress or bloat, who knows?

>>18008862
don't worry about that shit until the whole story is done, then you can agonize over pacing/length

>>18008767
To put it simply. The difference between telling and showing is the difference between hearing a story from a storyteller and experiencing the scene by yourself.

Both work, but in the former, the reader imagines the storyteller/narrator describing what happens. While in the latter, they imagine the scene itself and immerse better.
For example, Chekhov said: Don't tell me that the moon is shining, tell me about the moonlight on the grass.

>mention that MC is an orphan
>beta reader starts speculating who his parents are

He doesn't have parents though, hence him being an orphan.
I never planned for 'them' to be revealed, but now my beta reader is interested in it, I am wondering whether I should be making it a plotline down the road.

>>18009115
You only made him an orphan because you're lazy. Don't be lazy, give him some parents.

>>18009115
Dude, don't start shaping your plot based on your readers' reactions. There's only shit writing down that road. Have your own vision and stick to it.

>>18009146
Pseud take. Beta readers have a purpose.

>>18009146
What makes you think your readers won't ask the same question?

>>18009115
Just make it clear that you won't be seeing them

>>18009115
If it keeps them reading, who cares? You can't account for everyone's expectations so don't even try.

>>18009223
Yeah, to point out obvious flaws, plot holes, inconsistencies, and shit, not to write your goddamn story for you.

>>18009299
What?

>>18009365
If the beta reader wants to know about the parents, why won't the reader?

>>18009374
Where did I suggest there was a distinction that mattered?

>>18004932
That actually sounds like it would be fun to read, like one of those shows on ID that have a detective or psychologist cut in every once in awhile.

>young French princess gets dragged to the Crusades with her betrothed
>after a battle they get captured
>older Muslim guard kills prince
>princess becomes infatuated with the guard
>he takes her virginity then they elope together
Hot or not?

>>18009115
I dunno about that, I think that it is much more engaging if you leave it to the readers imagination who the parents are. Online crackpot fan theories arise from ambiguity like this, then more people want to read the book to draw their own conclusion.

Normally I just have a cool idea I want to play with and keep writing on it. Like, a terrorist group with the goal of killing all the dogs in their town, for example. I make up the reasons and whatever as I go along. Normally it goes well, as if the characters have a life of their own. But I'm stuck in the one. Character x does something, but that thing deviates from the main storyline. Now it's going on a tangent and I don't know how to go back on track. What to do?

>>18009675
Are you French by chance?

>>18009733
Outliners plan the story and try to stick to it. What you are describing sounds more of a free approach. A premise that you explore as you write along.

Is this new deviation interesting? Or do you find it boring? If you're bored then the reader is going to be asleep.

I've decided that the ease with which men can kill one another with guns, and the prevalence of guns, is not just emblematic of the American spirit but is foundational to it more than anything else. I want to write fiction about this theme but I do not want to just do Cormac McCarthy-but-worse. What are some things I could do to differentiate myself? I was considering a "cyberpunk" setting, but I'm not sure if that's antithetical to the whole idea, since it kind of implies societal movement in a direction away from what I mean.

>>18009859
Cavemen but they have guns.
Don't think about the worldbuilding, just give the apes some guns.

>>18009859
>>18009859
So in essence you want to tell a story about killing. What can you do to complicate this act of killing, or make it so ridiculously easy that is becomes ludicrous?

A society that worships honor might be interesting. What if a violation of another person's honor is reason enough to fire your gun? What negative consequences does this hold for the gunman? None? Does he get rewarded for it instead?

Another way might be, instead of showing people getting shot all the time, to build it up to one big and emotional moment at the end, where the gun is actually fired. Or start right after the first gunshot, one of many, has been fired.

Do the guns even have to be actual guns, as in our understanding of a handheld weapon? What if each person has a gun built into their right hand at the moment of birth?

How easy is it to get a gun in your story?

>>18009887
>So in essence you want to tell a story about killing.
Wrong. I want to tell a story about the closeness of killing.

How many of you have paracosms? I just want to see how common this phenomenon is

>>18010052
Yes, only way I can fall asleep is imagining my adventures in this world. I used to frighten my mother by staring off into space for several hours, she was convinced I was having like mini seizures or something. I was just living out my space opera adventure.

>>18009851
That's good advice - even if you didn't intend to. I'll follow the deviance and if it's boring I'll just write it over. Thanks.

>>18009869
That actually sound interesting as fuck. A kind of 2001 monolith that gives them guns.

>>18010140
>I used to frighten my mother by staring off into space for several hours
This. For the longest time my mother was convinced that I sleep with my eyes open.

>>18010052
Having paracosms is essential to being a speculative fiction author. Those who don't have them are NGMI.

>>>/ic/5311009
so Jojo's author literally wrote a book on writing, has anyone read it?

>>18004676
A picture tells a thousand words, anon, and at least he tends to post stuff that could inspire a story or be seen as illustrative of one.

>>18010052
constant revolving door of them my whole life

>>18010164
What is speculative fiction?

>>18010907
Basically just imagination running wild with a concept that doesn't fit into just "fantasy" or "sci-fi"

>>18008409
>luv short stories
>hate novel length fiction
I have the same problem anon. Post if you discover the one true cope

>>18010907
speculate then write a fiction based on the ideas you develop
if its autistically thorough in its reason its speculative fiction
if not it aint
why and how is this a question

>>18011006
So like, In the future we will be able to download information directly to our brains, but will have to pay 'textbook' fees, and have to keep paying every few years to get the most up to date information.
That would be speculative fiction, right?

>>18011021
yes
classic sci-fi is the clearest cut case of it
but honestly it's such a loose term pretty much everything but the most thoughtless trope riddled trash could be considered speculative fiction

>>18004910
Fuck expiry dates - as a food proffessional I insist you just smell shit and judge if it looks alright.

>>18004910
my characters are nothing but allegories for the different aspects of the theme
they contain no humanity and if a reader sees any it's due to no fault of my own

>>18008314
Have a hunky dude called Maxwell Chisleton

>>18011099
Then how does your character change? What's the point?

>>18011161
ideas develop and change under context and development
what are you writing for if not for the sake of exploring and/or communicating an idea?

Tips for not flubbing semi-colons and looking like a total pseud? I've been reading Candide and it abuses the fuck out of semi-colons. Seeing it used so casually and often has made me feel less intimidated
I like the way it breaks up a paragraph aesthetically and want to use it to control the flow of my writing

>>18011241
no, you are not a 18th century polymath, especially when you talk about aesthetics of a paragraph like a faggot. just use a fucking period and you will save your editor and readers a lot of grief

>>18011303
>bro you have to bend the knee to convention
>don't aspire beyond your station pleb
Fuck you, I want to exert control over the flow and aesthetics of my writing
>b-but the the public perception! the stigma!
Don't care. I'm gonna be judged based on shallow shit regardless, might as well have my writing be how I want it

>>18011345
So why even ask?

>>18011349
????? So I can get other peoples opinions and thoughts?
>just develop your tastes exclusively through reading and writing
Yeah sure. We're all writing and reading and we're gonna come to different conclusions. I want those conclusions and perspectives
It's why people ask questions. Weirdo

>>18011345
semi-colons add little and open up a writer to frequent and unnecessary run on sentences.

the time thinking spent "is a semi-colon okay in this situation?" could be better spent by slamming in a period or colon and moving on with the work.

but you sound like a seething pozz so your work is probably gonna suck regardless so do whatever, jam as many fragments and run ons into your work as you want and say it is your aesthetic.

>>18009675
Is this another cuckoldry fantasy?

>>18010052
Used to have them as a kid, now not so much. I need to focus on the real world.

>>18011241
Write like Voltaire and his contemporaries if you want to embody the style of his time. If you want to write like a modern author, don't.

>>18011470
>run on sentence
>semicolon
/wg/...
A semicolon is the tool that links complete sentences. Did you confuse it with a comma?
What's your problem with aesthetics? Have you never read something that has no paragraph coordination and is just block after block of the same style? Do you write without considering the reader or something?
>>18011722
I don't want to write like anybody. I don't want to use semicolons like Voltaire does, I just want to use them because of how it breaks up the look and feel of a paragraph

/wg/ niggas have too much priority to the identity of your writing. What the fucks it even mean to write like a pozz if it's not some contemporary woke shit

>He swings the sword.

>He shoots the gun.

How the fuck do I make these things sound interesting?

>>18011874
read more

>>18011874
Blood came in a maroon gush out the side with the gentlest flick taking the blade out of him. The echo of his scream rang on long after his eyes had glazed staring directly at the sun. The smell of metal ruminated in the tunnel. Frank's nose convulsed. He sealed it shut, turned back and strolled slogging his handiwork in clacks across the stone floor, back into the recesses of the sewer pipe. As he glanced at the hundredth and final "FUCK OFF" message on the wall before the daylight thrust him into nothing he shook his head.

>join a writing discord
>they actually write
>join a sprint
>they completely fucking mog me
>1k words in 40 minutes average
>I got 200
It feels good to be looking up instead of down for once
Wish /wg/ actually wrote so I could have a peer group to compete with that weren't completely mentally cucked but you work with what you got

>>18011874
These actions have a tremendous amount of build-up, and forcing the reader to go through that will build suspense as they begin to wonder if the action will be successful.

You don't just point a gun at someone and shoot. You aim at the target, assess the situation (is the target within range? is anyone standing behind the target?), make a decision to shoot, and then squeeze the trigger.

Or maybe you're outnumbered and don't have time to aim at all assailants. At that point it's no longer a visual situation re:the gun, your eyes are on your escape route and all you understand about shooting is the gun kicking in your hand as you pull the trigger until it clicks empty.

Or maybe not, I'm just guessing because I've never shot a gun in the line of duty, or ever really been in the line of duty before. But the goal here is to blueball your reader a bit, to get them guessing about the outcome of the situation in the same way you'd be guessing if you were in it.

>>18011874
read the passage in crime and punishment where Rodya's sister pulls a gun on Svidrigailov for ideas. also the part were Rodya kills the old lady of course.

>>18012078
>writing discord
Just wait until they show their true colors. They're all nutjobs and /wg/ is unironically better.

>>18005061
I feel great shame when I write smut, but I use it as a way to get me into writing serious works again. Because I can write 8+ hours with a erection and get around 1200wph. That is my excuse that I tell myself.

>>18012078
I write, but I'm not much of a person to compete with. 200-230 words is also what I average in a 15m sprint.

How do you keep to one story at a time. I only feel interested in a story for a week than my motivation switches to something else.

Eye of eternity bless me with eyes that see beyond my transient suffering, that the waves of difference and difference be still, so that I may see clearly through them your own eye gazing at my own. Lord though this world burns in flame or encircles me with waters of darkness, even if bitterness enters my bones, at the thought of you my heart is filled with ecstasy and I am reminded of your face which I have never known and yet I have known before all things. Protect me so that I never give up childishness, protect me so that I hear you in songs of birds, that I worship you as the trees who lift up their hands in praise, protect me so that When your undying flame enters my heart i am not taken into foolishness, but rather; your flame will reveal the words of your scripture engraved into my heart, engraved just as you engraved them upon the tablets for moses, among all I ask you, Great God with an invisible spirit, Great God who is my bridegroom, Great God who lives in me, I ask you to let me understand your love, to fill me with love, to help me love you more, and that I may love others so I may through them feel you, who are love.

Light of Light
love given birth
Lord Jesus savior of the earth
Be with me now and for eternity,
for an eternity let me see your Eye.

I want to try writing from the villain's POV
so villain's antagonist is a hero who starts out weak and is building up toward defeating the villain
what kind of stakes and conflicts should villain even have while waiting for the hero to come up to him?

>>18012361
the hero is your antagonist, and the villain is your protagonist.
the protagonist doesn't wait for his problems to come to him. he takes active steps to pursue his goals. this basic rule doesn't change simply because you've switched the morality around.

>>18012309
I'm still serial-writing the same story after one year but I couldn't give you a concrete answer. I've only ever started on two others in that time, one of which I decided to put on backburner indefinitely to focus on my main project.

>>18008767
"show don't tell" isn't an absolute principle, it's a piece of advice meant to address specific cases of bad writing in which the writer is guilty of too much telling. It's just as possible to overdo your showing, which will bloat up your story with lots of meaningless details that only detract from the narrative flow.
Simply put, to "tell" simply means to convey your story with a limited amount of details, and to "show" is to make those details more explicit. You can "tell" your readers what a character is wearing by saying that he is "dressed like a hobo", and you can "show" it by describing just how ragged his clothes are.
Neither of them is wrong in and of itself—which one you want ot use is dependent on context.

>>18012560
saying "dressed like a hobo" is absolutely wrong because similes are pleb tier
t. metaphor master race

>>18007130
>>18008680
>>18008843
https://www.bmj.com/content/337/bmj.a2769
Probably shouldn't be taking your medical advice from boomers.

>>18012293
How do you get the introduction out of the way? You know, describing the characters, their personalities, and how they end up in such a smutty situation in the first place?

>>18007130
>>18012731
I think I understand now. I don't need to come up with an excuse for why a character is barefoot or not. Anything I try to come up with will just seem like I'm trying to awkwardly justify a fetish because I clearly don't understand enough about biology to make the explanation work. And it's not a fetish anyways.
No, they will be barefoot because they are barbarians. That should be answer enough for the naysayers.

>>18012078
Is it nstb? They're lunatics, and maybe 1% of them are actually attempting to produce anything of value.

>>18012809
>there are so few writing discords that actually write you can guess first try
Real shame. I'll probably still lurk and sprint for the immersion and motivation but discord is a an absolute cesspool of nonwriters and social media fuckery

>>18004636
>This week should be a breeze, he thought, just show up and prepare for graduation.
Would "He thought" be an independent or a dependent clause in this sentence, and if it's an independent clause, is this grammatically correct?
I'm asking because I feel like the first two clauses are a comma splice, but I'm not quite sure.

>>18012828
As far as I know it's the only big public one. The problem is that the most active members there are authors of serials, and most people aiming for traditional publishing bounce off at some point. That leads to situations like one I saw where one of the mods said that "you're not allowed to argue that books have themes, because I can't comprehend what a theme is, and I don't want to feel bad about it." If you try to suggest that maybe people looking for traditional publishing should study and incorporate genre conventions, you'll get dogpiled with toxic positivity saying that people can write anything they want. It was good motivation when I was drafting, but now that I'm in the editing phase, their attitudes towards quality are so alien to me that trying to have any sort of discussion there holds me back more than it motivates me.

>>18012890
I'd say serials are a very small minority, maybe 1% or less at least on ntsb, but you're right about the dogpile mentality in particular though.

>>18012890
Well I'm a newfag still in the first draft so I'll make use of whatever crutches I can to improve and get shit done
>I can't comprehend what a theme is
What on earth lmao

>>18012914
Maybe that's true. I just know Ino or whatever posts links to a serials subreddit they mod/post on, and they're talking all the time. There are also tons of people who just don't write and should probably be discounted. I don't know if any regulars are traditionally published, and I can only think of a couple who I thought had any chance at that. Anyways, I haven't been there in a while, so I don't know, maybe it's got some new stock or something lately.

>>18012733
I just write a quick character sheet in my head and plot as I go. But I'm a fetishist, so all of my work is giantess, vore, monstergirls, and yuri, and ryona. My characters are simple because I tend to focus on the world building and actions. I create a scene in my head and start there, and briefly describe what I have to then within 500 words go strait to the action. Since I get off to action/abstract based fetishes starting a scene is fairly easy, because there is no romancing in ryona or a giantess rampage. If I was going to write "monstergirl yuri, love at first sight" I would start off with a event that would cement their love if when they first meet. If they have been partners for a while I would start with an mundane or erotic scene that showcases their loving companionship. I hope you got what I meant, I can't write normal smut because I'm a autistic deviant.

>>18011470
>semi-colons add little
Semicolons function as a super comma that allows you to connect two independent clauses while maintaining the half stop of a comma. Semicolons also allow you to keep long, complex lists with several commas organized by topic. Contrary to popular belief, the semicolon is an extremely powerful tool
>unnecessary run on sentences.
Literally impossible
>could be better spent by slamming in a period or colon and moving on with the work.
Wrong. You should be using all manners of punctuation to properly pace your story. In some cases, you literally cannot use a comma or a period to properly pace your work without a semicolon.
>but you sound like a seething pozz so your work is probably gonna suck regardless so do whatever, jam as many fragments and run ons into your work as you want and say it is your aesthetic.
A random, irrelevant and blatantly incorrect tangent to the subject manner at hand

>>18013091
>Semicolons function as a super comma that allows you to connect two independent clauses while maintaining the half stop of a comma. Semicolons also allow you to keep long, complex lists with several commas organized by topic. Contrary to popular belief, the semicolon is an extremely powerful tool
Noted.

>>18012989
Well see, I'm trying to write a silly fetish thing like you, only my issue is that I get too hot and bothered when I'm trying to write the intro, then try to skip ahead to a scene when I know nothing about the characters or setting and end up burning out. How do you describe them? Do you stick to telling or do you try to show the story's development? Do you have any recent examples you can show? Preferably on the tamer side.

>>18013166
I rarely edit my fetish work and usually delete since I feel a lot of shame about it. I do have a first pov of naga vore that I will post, but it's not the best in my opinion and its a very, very rough draft. But I will create the scene in my head and play through it a few times, then I start to write. I try to tell the basic and show characters personalities as I go along. Also when I write I try to write with "stream of consciousness" and get the foundation of the story out, then I will edit and add more detail, or rewrite entirely. I usually get the inspiration from a pic, than crate a story about it and edge to it a while. So I already got the basic of the story so when I write I can get the foundation of the story out. Kinda like outlining but all in my head and very basic. I create a simple character and give them backstory and drop them into a scene. If its just going to be a less than 5k words, I wont delve into backstory, just give hints of their personalty as the scene progresses. I think I tend to show more than tell.

https://pastebin.com/hkWyKZ0t

It is very, very, very, rough and full of mistakes. I cringed rereading it. I hope you can tough it out, and can help you in some way. I do have another autistic vore story that has been edited but I can't post it now, but If you want, I can latter.

>>18013166
I'm not a smut writer, but an avid reader. This type of writing is designed to provoke a physical reaction in the reader. In that sense erotica is very similar to creepypasta, which is itself, when executed properly, nothing more than a scary joke.

The reader comes into these things with a profound desire to suspend disbelief and a lack of critical eye. Jokes do not become funnier if the audience learns more details about the characters, creepypasta does not become scarier through a crisp mental image of the protagonist, and erotica does not become hotter because of a sense of realism. In fact, you spoil a joke by too much set-up, and the more detail you add to a creepypasta, the more solid evidence the reader has to consider and possibly reject, leading to a rejection of the story as a whole.

The same principle applies to erotica. Identification is achieved through lack of detail. Chances are I already have one or more "characters" in mind, and any failure to describe those exact people will distract me from the scene. It is better to avoid it altogether unless it's part of the fetish, in which case yes, I'd like to just be listed so I am not frustrated attempting to form a mental image based on details scattered throughout the text.

Just my opinion.

Is it acceptable to insert some of my fetishes into an adult fantasy story? No sex scenes but there is going to be some pretty intense sexual situations at certain moments.

>>18013412
No, the style police will arrest you

>>18010140
>I used to frighten my mother by staring off into space for several hours

I at least had the situational awareness to not do that in front of people, or just close my eyes and pretend to be actually sleeping.

>>18012809
>>18012890
What's the discord server?

>>18013598
google 'no sleep til bookdun'

>>18013601
Thank you.

Tried to experiment and write a song as a poem.

>>18013522
Well, you should be proud of yourself then. You had more situational awareness than an 8-year old.

What is the best writing software with a dark mode?

>>18013267
>first paragraph
>I idmely imgaein eating them, and somethimes I almost did.
nigga did you write with the tip of your dick or something

>>18014274
Vim

>>18014528
Is this a black dude saying this? Only brothers use vim

Where do you even start a story?
Every time I think I have my start, I feel like I could go back further, or start even later.
I don't know what the starting event should be, so I just end up boringly introducing my characters like a fucking dungeon master.

What's the price of originality

>>18014874
Obscurity. Or a lot of money/connections.

>>18014619
I use cheap tricks like starting somewhere real fucking interesting for a hook, then going back to where things should naturally start

>Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice

Struggling with my story a bit. In it the character's ranting about class divide only to get jokingly called out on it by his friend with how inconsistent he's being. I feel like it's okay in this context because he gets called out on his ranting and it's phrased as him being unstable but at the same time I agree with his sentiment so I don't want to make it seem completely dumb. It's like I'm trying to find that Holden Caulfield balancing act of the character being immature but on the right track.

>>18014954
Shoot them all and let god sort them out. Joker is an insane homicidal maniac who is always painted as in the wrong but that doesn't stop people from agreeing with his views, it's not like you'll actually persuade or dissuade anyone, at best you'll get people to think about it, but most readers are only looking for something to confirm their biases.

Is it cringe to write about mythology when one hasn’t studied it extensively?

>>18008024
72k words. I can't be stopped. I'm the juggernaut.

>>18013830
>You had more situational awareness than an 8-year old
Well, considering I was around that age myself back then, I think you were just a few cans short of a 6-pack all along.

>>18015571
Maybe that’s also true

Scared I’m developing psoriasis, how can I dictate speech to text without using a shitty app that doesn’t understand my words?

>>18015682
>psoriasis
Isn't that when your foreskin is too tight?
What has that got to do with writing, anon?
Just stretch it in a warm bath, and it will loosen up.

>>18015691
That’s phimosis anon

>>18015682
Isn’t that when your skin is too tight? Just use some lotion bro

>>18015691
Psoriasis causes arthritis in 30% of people by the way and my fingers do get pretty sore

What other authors influenced you and how?

What does it mean if my biggest influences are from foreign authors of whose works I’m only able to read translations? Does that mean the translators are my biggest influences...?

>>18016036
A good translator tries to adapt the author's style, so depends on translation quality.

how does /lit/ motivate? from where does /lit/'s drive originate?

i used to have drive and motivation. feelings of loss and estrangement have diminished both those creative fonts. now i dont produce anything but notes.

i believe the 'vigor' to write is there (otherwise ibwouldnt still be notetaking) but the 'rigor' to knuckle down more than abstraction is just... i donno...

>>18016123
Just put your butt in the chair and write. You don’t have a motivation problem you have a self discipline problem

>>18016036
Kalle Päätalo (writing about real experiences and people, basically autobiographical stuff but very speaking honestly and openly about your own failures and keeping a sense of humor about it all)
Karl Ove Knausgård (same as above)
Marcel Proust (ditto)
Ossi Nyman (the same but I'm inspired by how much he sucks and how much better I feel I can be)
For the time being these are the people who drive me.

>>18016175
but speaking very honestly *

>>18015682
>psoriasis
Not sure why this would stop you writing. Regardless, the microsoft speech to text is actually quite good these days.

Anyone doing fantasy without the genreshit attached to it?

>want to write a love story
>write page after page plot with side characters I don't even care about because getting straight to the good stuff feels like cheap wish-fulfillment fantasy
Why am I like this?

How do I come up with a good personality for the last major character in my story? It feels like I'm squeezing blood from a stone, but at the same time I really like everything else about the character. I'm mostly trying to avoid stepping on the toes of any other character.

>>18016315
Just write erotica on fiverr for that — you can get coin doing it and don’t waste your time merely doing what you are doing now

>>18016320
What genre and style is it? I can’t say much without knowing how the story is SHAPED

>>18016340
>I can't write plotless wish-fulfillment
>go write plotless wish-fulfillment for money
Expert advice once again

>>18016385
You’re an idiot if you think erotica is about the plot, holy shit.

>>18016407
And you're completely illiterate

>>18016456
Holy... my sides anon. Stop being so retarded, I’ll bust a rib!

Seriously though, why don’t you read the Brontes and see how they do love stories — there’s often conflict, interest in other characters, dramatic fights, severing ties, diplomacy, etc., all within a plot. It sounds more up your alley.

I was minding my own business when a young man approached me, his face covered in a reflective gel-like substance. He asked if I lived as under one god, not sure how to react I let my procerus muscles do the speaking. As I was about to walk away from the schizophrenic, he said my first name, flawlessly pronounced. This intrigued me, I have a name that even Norwegians struggle to pronounce correctly. This tickled my curiosity, I checked my belt for my name tag, no name tag, I asked him how he knew my name. He simply responded with "I live as under one god". At this point, we had been standing there outside the payday loan for no more than a minute, yet he managed to place a reservation on my thoughts for the overseeable future.

At this point, I realized my reservation at dorsia was at risk. Not wanting to lose the opportunity to hear what the gel-man had to say I sent a snap to my boyfriend, dinner was off, decided to bring the gel instead. I asked if we wanted to tell me more, he nodded approvingly, told him I had a reservation a few blocks from here and if I could buy him dinner while he told me how exactly he knew my name. As we walked up the increasingly deserted streets we approached civilisation again, realizing my new friend was slightly overdressed for the occasion I told him to ditch the trenchcoat. As he did the motions he pulled out a blade, "I am your god, now pay tribute", feeling the wrath of hades cum all over my chiselled face I handed him my embroidered wallet without hesitation. He ran off again before I could catch my breath. What the fuck.

I called the police, they were nice enough to let me know my boyfriend had sown my first name into my leather bag, I had no idea. Turns out the gel was filled with reflective powder as to fuck with the surveillance systems that infest our city.

When I came home that evening, my boyfriend, in full latex, told me to "live as under one god", I accepted my fate as the nights submissive without hesitation, he played me like a fiddle.

------
Rate my 8m writeup

>>18016923
Delet

EDITING IS SO BORING I WANNA KILL MYSELF. There are some texts I put out like an orgasm, I type them and never want to look at it again. Why can't I just be a genius who writes a masterpiece from the get go?

>>18016938
Come on, it wasn't THAT bad.

What's the point of writing when everything nowadays is just unoriginal trash? There will be nothing unique about your writing lmao.

>>>/sp/107414893

I wrote this a couple of days ago, true story.

>>18017001
>little did he know: it was

I want to start writing a story but im stuck between writing a niche fetish story that happens to have fap scenes for myself or an actual short story. Anyone else get stuck here?

>>18017170
>writing for anyone other than yourself
ngmi

>>18017166
Meh, not like i was going to read it before posting.

>some discord tranny dms me out of the blue
>asks me to beta read
>actually wants a crit
>reads their shit
>effort crit, point out common flaws they've fallen into by using fast pacing, suggest what they could read that would help them improve
>bro thats just like your opinion man
>just tell me if you like it
fucking hate pseuds who have no interest in improving and just want a pity wank

>>18017331
Thats annoying. Hate Pseuds.

>>18017331
Pseuds need to be lined up against a wall.

I've been thinking of this idea for the last few days about a near future story where America balkanizes and my specific region in the midwest falls into a Korea style civil war conflict between a Christian military junta and a revolutionary communist front. My question is, should I keep it set in actual America or should I set it in an entirely fictional world with entirely original nations and religions of my own invention?

>>18004910
>How well do you know your protagonist?
Too well.

>Does your protagonist have smegma?
Yes.

>Does your protagonist collect boogers under his desk?
No.

>Would your protagonist drink milk that expired yesterday if it smells right?
Absolutely.

>Has your protagonist ever entertained the thought of autofellatio?
He's never thought of sex.

>>18017445
its clearly about the real world
dont cuck yourself out of your own story because you're scared of fucking with real world history

>>18004988
Bump for this, I want it.

>>18017170
Same anon I want to write about women with nice cocks but also want to write an dark low fantasy. Idk how my readers would feel reading about a guy trying to restablish himself in his old hometown then reading about chicks with dicks later in the novel.

>>18017479
lmao glad im not alone in the struggle
To Fap or not to Fap

>>18017479
open with coom so the readers expectations are set
more noncoomers hate coom than coomers hate noncoom
better to retain the coomers in this case

>>18017464
Theres two parts to it, it isnt just fear. It is partly true, as one of my ideas is inner city black criminals being radicalized by Islamic revolutionaries as one of the factions in the chaos and that's obviously touchy, but I also think it's fun in terms of world building to create new nations and religions

John Gardner recommends 'An American Rhetoric' for beginner authors that want to learn about composition: https://www.amazon.com/American-Rhetoric-William-Whyte-Watt/dp/0030441668

Is this still a good recommendation? Or should I look at 'Rhetoric of Fiction' instead?

>>18017504
unless you're a 1k words a week ngmi just save the world building tism for something else
you've got plenty of time to finish multiple stories

>>18017479
if there's dickgirls in it then it's a dickgirl book. it doesn't matter if the rest is a masterpiece. not saying you shouldn't write it but there's no way around the classification.

>be me, writer
>want to write gross fetish porn
>scared of it being traced back to me

>>18004636
70k words. Almost done. I'm going to self publish on Amazon and advertise on here. I won't be as insufferable as that other guy. Please buy when you see me sempi.

>>18017492
>telling people to put their fetishes in their story
How to lose your Readership 101
Coomers would just look at porn if they want to coom, not read it.
Non-coomers will obviously throw your story in the trash.

>>18017525
>bro the only audience that exists are core audiences
yeah whatever dweeb, save it for the board meeting
only a cuck writes to their audience. if anon wants to adventure or whatever while he cooms then power to him

my favorite coom works have me stick around after I cum and I'm sure there's plenty who'd agree

>>18017519
You know, I'm fine with that. When it comes to fantasy, it feels like most things get a pass as long it is well-written and ties to the story and the detractors will usually just be a minority.

How am I supposed to write a sex scene if im a virgin?

>>18017575
by writing your idealized vision of sex
honestly you're better off writing coom as a virgin because sex is pretty silly and sloppy in reality

>>18017555
>my favorite coom works have me stick around after I cum and I'm sure there's plenty who'd agree
Correct, coomers are known to be loyal consumers. Anon, what are your fetishes and favorite genres?

>>18014274
Scrivener 3 for windows.

>>18016036
I think Carlo Zen influenced me to stop outlining for a eternity and actually get to writing.

>>18016123
In my case, deadlines and weekly serial updates help, and I've managed to consistently write for a solid year that way. I think not letting down readers with lack of updates is what drives me to keep writing.

>>18017513
Bump.

So what exactly makes a story deep or not?

>>18018072
if I wrote it

>>18006318
Breddy good stuff. Literary fiction just sucks right now because the current litfic culture is at a low point. I remember an obscure Pakistani Tekken player once won a major tournament, because it turned out that an enclave of Pakistani players were busy training in the hyperbolic time chamber and no one had ever heard of them before that point. Steel sharpens steel. Modern litfic needs a few truly original badasses to come together an form a new little cell, apprentice a few younger authors, etc.

Opener for a short story:

On the day that Osto Gren fell from the sky it was because he'd failed to respect that certain clouds are thinner than others. This was his consolation as he plummeted earthward with gathering speed: far better to vanish by the treachery of his own feet than that of another of the welkin race. Coattails fluttering and black hair waving, a widowbird would have mistaken him for a mate as he made profuse mid-air spins. Short of colliding with the hard earth he fashioned a parachute of his coat and, light because of a diet of nothing but air and colour, landed with only a scratched knee. His hat followed with a drop.

1 writing credit so far.

How do I stop hearing Neil Gaiman's voice in my head reading what I write as I write it?

>inb4 judged for liking him
He's not perfect, but I dig it.

>>18006473
It’s really not a bad idea anon. Hemingway used to reread everything he wrote from the very beginning with each new workday. Doing that and rewriting as you go is an excellent way to harness the computer for rewriting, as opposed to weeping like a vagina on lit

>>18006553
I’ve seen writers who produce one novel per decade anon, and they’re worthwhile books. I wouldn’t get hung up over output quantity. Writing only out of passion isn’t the worst thing in the world; those writers who produce massive bibliographies also spew a lot of trash, in my experience as a reader

>>18008273
Just steal’em. I have an old as fuck yellow pages I like to pull names from. Sometimes I just type a decent first name into facebook and find something that way.

>>18009733
That terrorist killing dogs thing is interesting. Was that on off the cuff example, or have you written that story? If so I’d like to read it

>>18014524
When I write smut, I have one hand on the keyboard and the other on my penis. Thats why its full of errors.

>>18018376
by reading your own work out loud during editing phases

>>18013341
I'm a former smut writer who broke himself trying to switch from second person to third and first person writing and I'm trying desperately to realize the stories I want to write.

>>18018833
>natural state is second person
a rare breed

>>18018838
Yeah.
So that's why I'm trying to get advice for how to write smut stories, I'm basically re-learning.

>try to write a full length fiction novel
>stare at the screen for hours and get maybe 100 words down
>write a flash
>get it down in 15 minutes and have a blast the whole time
Fuck me why is it so hard to write something longer. I know where the story should go and what has to happen but it all feels wrong when I start trying to write it

>>18004636
How do I give a story a 'fairy tale' atmosphere?

>>18019102
Read a story that has a 'fairy tale' atmosphere?

>>18019102
read some fairy tales
fairy tales are fast paced and dont give a fuck about logic. things are as they are and if the reader questions it fuck them not your problem

>>18006212
i like it

>>18004910
No

No

Yes. She doesn't really care if she gets sick.

She has thought about it and tried it. She failed and is very embarrassed that she even tried it.

>>18019010
What's the longest story you've written?

>>18019477
30~ pages
The whole thing was a slog and I'm utterly ashamed of it
How do I evolve into a grinder who can just write endless quantities of shit to improve
I'm gonna stay a shitter forever if I don't learn how to see the long term while writing

>Any progress on your novels?
I just write short stories, but I might pack every short within the same universe into an e-book. Recently, I used my donations to commission a French translation.

https://likho.neocities.org/pages/skinless.html
https://likho.neocities.org/pages/skinless_fr.html

So I know you shouldn't include flashbacks unless they advance the storyline. I dip a lot into the ancient past in my storyline because it provides important context for the modern day. My main character goes into a coma at one point and relieves the memories left behind from his foremother. Would this be fine to do?

>>18019554
It may be that you're approaching this from the wrong end. Some people benefit from planning out their stories, others write better by letting it develop sponaneously as they set it to paper..

Rate my novel summary
A dive into the technologies that dominate our lives, The Void takes place on Fort Genesis. A military research facility developing all the future technologies we've only imagined: gene editing, brain computers, and cybernetics. After the scientists develop hyperintelligent nanobots, Charles Owens finds himself locked on base for 3 years. As the constant threat of the bots linger, Charles and the other soldiers fight to stay sane in their techno paradise.

>>18019102
Watch Twin Peaks or Wes Anderson. Coud also read Hyperion

Probably more bitching than asking for advice but hey, maybe some of you did this too and found an elegant solution. I'm struggling to see the damn forest between all these trees.

I'm writing from limited third perspective with multiple characters and use first person stream of consciousness italics for my main character at times. It's my ninth and probably my last revision too.

The lack of intention and internal rules is starting to fuck with my head. I decided not to use it in the first chapter to have some distance and then getting the reader closer in the next one but aside of that, it seems kinda arbitrary and since it's so much easier to write, it's tempting to use it too often. Logically, it makes the most sense to use when one absolutely has to deliver 1-1 perspective and voice of the character ... in moments when this is needed; or to add funny commentary, and here shit just falls apart and I'm doing it based on feelz which ... feels wrong. As much as I love stuff being done in free flowing and effortless way with minimal amount of thought, my autistic ass can't stop annoying me if things aren't 100% deliberate with a bigger purpose. During a little experiment trying to rewrite some of the scenes, I found ways to cut it down but this only made me more confused.

Since my character is kinda possesed, I thought being able to dive deeper into their thoughts compared to already personal limited 3rd perspective would offer some fun possibilities too; but since these things will only be used in another book, I haven't come around experimenting with it enough. Basically what I'm looking is for a sort of internal rule when to use it that is less based on feelz but at the same time my fucking brain comes with too many vague "what if's" and "but maybe's" too do anything about this shit.

Sorry for rambling.

>>18019706
Maybe? Do what you feel is right for the story senpai.

>>18019772
I've been re-reading this several times but I can't really think of a way to rate it. It feels like it works, but the first 3 sentences just disjointed from the rest.

>>18019772
Well, it's probably not my genre and characters and their problems are usually the things that get my attention, so take it with a few grains of salts. Also it's damn hard to write a good summary.

>A dive into the technologies that dominate our lives
Not great but I kinda want to read on, mostly because I think that your idea of what tech dominates our lives is totally wrong.
>A military research facility developing all the future technologies we've only imagined: gene editing, brain computers, and cybernetics.
Not too exciting but functional, should be done faster IMO and with something that sounds more unique. I'd probably dropped reading the summary by now since there is no mention of the character.
>After the scientists develop hyperintelligent nanobots, Charles Owens finds himself locked on base for 3 years.
Now we're finally starting. Was the rest even necessary?
>As the constant threat of the bots linger, Charles and the other soldiers fight to stay sane in their techno paradise.
I don't see the connection. Nothing indicated they were a threat before. Or that the conflict is about their sanity and why. Or what sort of people they are and why I should care. Shit, I'm not even sure what they are up against since intelligent nanobots could be basically everything and their threat is hard to estimate too. IMO this is where you make sure your story sounds actually like your story, hence specifics would be nice.

>>18019962
>>18019953
Thanks! Just typed it up so I'll rewrite it

Thoughts on Schreiver? It's a tool specifically optimized to make brainstorming, writing, and then publishing a book easy, but it seems to have a steep learning curve so I was wondering if anyone here had used it. And if so, is it worth the time investment to learn how to use it?

>>18020251
I tired it but found it too restrictive, and the UI too ugly. Also basically any non ghetto program has an option to convert your shit into epub or whatever format you want either way.

>>18019772
This sounds like a Michael Crichton paperback I'd consider buying at the thrift store, but instead I would just go home and read Jurassic Park again.

The first three sentences are pure puffery. "A dive into - dominate our lives - military research facility - future technologies" These words could mean a lot of things to a lot of people. I'd honestly get rid of this and frontload the conflict. If you were deadset on this kind of opening, I'd recommend that you use specific details. I'd also like a bit more clarity in terms of what threats the nanobots pose (they can read your mind? change your thoughts? rip your body to shreds?) and what precisely makes this place a paradise, because the specific technologies you mentioned sound very fascinating but not particularly fun. And how exactly is Charles "locked in?" A prisoner of the military? Held captive by the nanobots? Doesn't want to abandon the limitless pleasures of the brain computers?

>>18020376
>This sounds like a Michael Crichton paperback I'd consider buying at the thrift store, but instead I would just go home and read Jurassic Park again.
I'll consider that a complement and appreciate the response. I try to be ambiguous to draw people in but I think your points are fair.

>>18019953
>>18019962
>>18020442
Does this answer the questions brought up? I don't want to reveal too much, but I want it to make sense.

In the Sonoran desert lies a scientific marvel where the technologies of the future are developed. For three years the soldiers of Fort Genesis have been sealed in. Protected by a holographic barrier from organ harvesting nanobots, the technological utopia satisfies all the men’s needs. Yet for one man it isn’t enough. Follow Charles Owens struggle with madness as he not only battles the dangerous bots, but his own search for purpose.

>>18020521
Ment for >>18020376

>>18020521
>Follow Charles Owens struggle with madness as he not only battles the dangerous bots, but his own search for purpose.
This is the only relevant and interesting part for me buuuut, for one that "follow" isn't for a novel summary but the text in the back of the book. Aside of that ... his search for purpose is too vague and general. And I'm still not sure WHY he battles with madness. Also this version makes it even more confusing how he got into this mess due the "for one man it's not enough" bit. At least him being a soldier suggested he want sent there to deal with some problem ... but what IS the problem? The organ harvesting nano bots?

I'd try to compress the information from the first three sentences into one and then spend more words on the character, and then being more specific about their main conflict.

>>18020251
I've been using it for a year and never regretted the purchase. I posted some thoughts about it a few threads ago >>17988758 >>17988765 >>17989564

Hi, /wg/. It's 2021. One of you knobs better have a TRANS/non-binary character in your main cast, at the very least. It's the law.

>>18020860
>tfw unironically scared that some stories of mine will get me blackballed from the publishing world

>>18020585
sorry to be a nuisance. How's this
After accidentally creating deadly nanobots, the men of Fort Genesis seal themselves inside with futuristic technology. Despite the base's Utopian facade, a mercenary guard named Charles Owens struggles to stay sane after three grueling, monotonous years. The escapism of virtual realities and endless hedonism fail to sustain him. Dissatisfied with his work and home life as they struggle to defeat the malevolent bots, Charles wonders how long he can continue with the aimless routine his life has become.

>>18020860
No, and I self-publish so I can do what I want with my story.

>>18020887
>He wants to be traditionally published
Why do you want to go with a dying industry?

/wg/, I'm paralyzed by perfectionism. This scene is giving me no end to trouble.

basically, when I'm writing is a pov character's backstory presented in 4 scenes. For some background, the character in question has an anxiety disorder so bad that when she has panic attacks it basically flips the muscular inhibition switch and she taps into the kind of hysterical strength that lets a mother lift a car off her child

>the first scene shows a her as a little girl having a panic attack while her dad calms her down by talking to her about superheroes. The scene is meant to show the ideals she grew up with and how she saw her father as her hero
>the second cuts to a few months later, her mother is drinking in silence while watching an old news report about how her father was killed at a protest. The girl slips out unnoticed, dresses up in a home made superhero costume and basically creeps around until she comes across some teenage carjackers. When she tries to confront them she freezes up and one of the teens beats the shit out of her
>the third scene starts by showing how she froze up in court when she was called up as a witness and refused to testify against the teen, after which she gave up on her dream of being a hero and threw out all her comics. However, a few months later the same group of teenagers jump her and chase her down an alleyway. she hides inside an old refrigerator and then falls through the back of it into another world

the fourth scene is what's giving me trouble. I know certain things I want to happen in it, but I'm not sure how to arrange them. basically, it cuts to her being introduced to a group of other displaced humans in the other world after being rescued by an older boy. At some point she breaks the boy's arm or fingers by accident. ultimately, the scene leads to her having a panic attack. the boy, noticing her green lantern shirt tries to calm her down by talking to her superheroes, with the scene ending on him getting her to recite the green lantern oath. It's kind of tricky to write this naturally though because the boy in question at this point in time would be far more out of his element than some other characters present would have been. He'd only recently gone from looking up to a different older boy to realizing that said boy was a scumbag and he wouldn't feel like he should be mentoring anyone. In contrast, there are older more emotionally supportive people present who could help her

>>18021276
>When she tries to confront them she freezes up and one of the teens beats the shit out of her

>>18021292
I might tone it down to the boys just like laughing her, pushing her over and walking away. the point of the scenes is supposed to flow like this

>When she was a child others saw her as a liability, but her dad was her hero, and he believed she could be better than him
>When her dad was killed, she set out to learn from his mistakes, but she acted rashly and found herself in over her head, which left her questioning if his belief in her was one of those mistakes
>she decided she was done fighting injustice, but injustice wasn't done fighting her, which led to her being transported to another world
>faced with a world that left no choice but to be a hero, she broke down in a panic, but the boy who saved her didn't treat her like a liability, and because of that she regained some hope

>>18021276
Was panic attacks as a superpower really the best you could come up with? And then it turns into isekai? What made you think this was a good idea?

>>18018376
>He's not perfect, but I dig it
Why not, he's great. American Gods is literally my favourite fantasy novel.

>>18021393
anon, I genuinely can't express to you how little I give a shit about your opinion.

>>18018376
I love Neil Gaiman, I hope he likes what I write

>>18021412
I'm 100% with >>18021393, and if you don't see that, well what can I say? NGMI

>>18021412
Oh, did I hit a nerve? Then maybe you should keep your turd to yourself and not showcase it in public.

>>18021412
then don't post retarded shit
>give me attention and validation
>but don't you dare say anything negative
I thought anime writers were supposed to be elevated above this pathetic behavior
turns out they were no different from the pseuds

>>18021432
>Writing is obviously comes from comics and other western works
>Calls him an anime writer.
???

>>18021442
thread meme
it's a catch all term for people who write for F U N and aren't too pretentious and huffed up
how you can be both conceited and write trash is beyond me but anon has pulled it off

>>18021432
>>18021428
>>18021427

wow, you sure do a whole lot of writing. I definitely want to suck your dick

>>18021454
Could be that he takes his writing seriously, which is a sign that he's not going to make it, with the type of story he's writing.

>>18021458
>n-no u
yes, as a matter of fact I do, now fuck off

>>18021468
let me suck your peepee anon. just a taste

>>18018376
I like it when Gaiman imitates Harlan Ellison or Terry Pratchett. Just try to hear him doing one of his imitations so you can pretend Sir Terry is reading what you write instead.

>>18021472
Seriously, what is the point of asking for critique if you're going to be a child about it?

>>18021496
don't respond to thin skins
let them get bored and migrate to reddit or discord where they'll be praised for the achievement of existing

>>18021496
you seem to be under the impression that I was asking for critique. I wasn't, I was asking for advice about how to arrange the scene. somehow everyone one of you retards misunderstood that yet still you're acting intellectually superior

now, are you going to show me your weenie or not?

>>18004932
Hey, this anon, again, unfortunately, I have to put this story on hold, since I’m unable to write it the way I want to.

>>18021505
You're right. Don't know what I was thinking.

>>18017575
Have sex.

>>18006052
Kek, I like that you keep updating the word count.

>>18006887
Does this happen often? I don't see why anyone would create a second thread.

>>18021546
>anon asks for advice arranging a scene
>"your scene is shit"
>"I don't care, I'm asking how to arrange a scene"
>"WhY ArE YoU So tHiN SkInNeD?"

retard

>>18021572
I think this is the second time that’s happen.

>>18015321
Yeah, you need to study a bit of it, or else, it will make you look retarded.

>>18019778
How are those fairy tales?

New thread.

>>18021589

>>18021573
>"your scene is shit"
>"I don't care
A baby asks you if its shit fingerpaint composition is good, should it add a little more poop in the corner, or a sweep of urine across the top. You say "but... its shit". Baby responds
>oH yEaH sHoW mE yOuR wEeNiE rEtArD

okay then, you do you, baby boo

>>18021515
You should've taken the hint and realized there's no way to arrange your scenes in a way that stops it from being an absurd clusterfuck and kept your mouth shut

>>18020251
The UI is ugly, as someone else has said. The features are helpful if you need them. I personally don't really make use of all the outlining and planning shit so it is a bit wasted on me. Still, I like it well enough overall especially for the organisation element.