/lit/ - Literature

How would you guys rate your life right now on a scale of 1 to 10? 1 being the lowest.

>>18161570
3. I've never had a gf and seeing the body on her makes me profoundly horny

>>18161576
Overall, an 8. Life's pretty good, but there's so much I want to do and accomplish, but not enough time to do it.
Now that I think about it though this >18161588 rings true too. Damn, I'm lonely...

>>18161570
shes a big girl...

>>18161576
7 I guess. I have everything else, a good job, money, friends, /fit/, handsome, but I'm a 25 yo virgin and seeing pictures like this is torture.

>>18161570
i wish pathetic cumbrains would fuck off and die
i am loathe to say this but i hate them even more than people who post, may allah forgive me for uttering this name, vtubers

On my way to the bookshop I crossed paths with a girl. She went in front of me and looked back a few times, don't know if she was looking at me especifically or something else.
Anyway, we entered the store together and immediately she grabbed a book and mumbled something about it. I thought she was talking to herself so I just moved on.
I tend to take my time looking through the store and she was also circling around. At some point, she just started randomly browsing notebooks and pens. So I finally decided on what to get (Knulp by Hermann Hesse, I'm into vagabond stories) and immediately she stopped browsing and got into the line behind me. I concluded the transaction as the cool kids put it and took my leave.
The thing is, I'm pretty sure I saw her wearing an engagement ring. I could be wrong because I'm pretty stupid when it comes to knowing left from right, but se definitely had a engagement ring-looking ring.
So I fucked up in not talking to her or was it better to just leave her be?
Also, it is hard to tell with the masks and shit (and I'm already bad at remembering faces), but I think I did some classes in college with her.

>>18161597
That girl is like 8 feet tall dude. At least cry over something attractive.

>>18161570
I see a woman like this, and I think... sex.

>>18161576
life itself is comfortable, me in it is 3 or 4/10
but I feel like future will be terrifying

>>18161570

>>18161633
Well I imagine her a few inches shorter than me

>>18161576
7.2
I've spent years spinning my wheels, trying to get my shit together and it's starting to come together.
It cost me a stable job, a friendship I've had my whole life and will likely cost me my first serious romantic relationship within the next few months but there is no price that isn't worth paying to live your life.
I expect to be somewhere between 8 and 9 within the next 12 months.

Reject coomers. Embrace tradition.
>>18161641

>>18161664
>reject beauty. Embrace beauty

>>18161597
Lmao you're that incel from the forest anon thread

>>18161653
post the webm I like to mimick the face she makes.

>>18161683
One leads to big trad families while the other leads to onlyfans.

bajset. det är alltid bajset.

>>18161576
probably an 8

>>18161694

>>18161691
Yes, hello anon

>>18161576
Really thinking about it I'd say I'm at a 6.5 . Life's been getting a bit better as far as my relationships go. I fixed my problem I had with my group of friends and also started repairing my relationship with my girlfriend. The only thing that's left to be desired now is my search for what I want to do for the rest of my life.

>>18161570
'Am I doing this pic exactly like that girl on insta?'

>>18161576
8, could use more money and still drink

>>18161576
Exactly 5. I'm just grateful it isn't 2-3 anymore.

>>18161576
3. Pros rn are that I'm not depressed and I'm reading a decent amount. But my job makes little money, I have few friends, no romantic relationship, and my place is small. I have goals lined up to improve those things tho

>>18161683
there's nothing beautiful about whores. nothing. not a single thing.

>>18161775
God I wish more people believed this. Would make less competition for the whores and give me a shot at banging some hotties.

>>18161570
why is she so weird?

>>18161576
8/10. Five books, can retire etc. Smoothly working on number six but yearning for my other half.
Beloved, where are you? You're the only person who can give me those last two points or drop them by three.
Please be my soulmate, whoever you are.

>>18161615
You never know, but for future scenarios it might be good to be a bit more in the moment and be ready to act. As long as you don’t expect anything from people, there is no harm in chatting them up (in a covid free world that is).

>>18161718
Diarrè?

>>18161787
>having to compete for whores
Are you like deformed or something?

I regret reading so many fantasy books and watching so many fantasy movies and plying so many fantasy games when I was young. I inevitably grew out of it and now as an adult I don’t have a robust catalogue of not-fantasy under my belt because it’s all fantasy instead.

>>18161775
>MY PEE PEE GO BIG! NRRYRYRYYRSSHHE’S A HOOR!!
The. Why do your kind keep women as sex workers?

Gif unrelated

>>18161840
>The. Why
Then why*

>>18161824
I think he meant all women as whores or at least non-traditional ones. Not actual prostitutes

>>18161576
Cons:
>no car, no license
>no gf, nor did I ever have one
>no job
>4th semester of non-STEM degree but nearly no credits
>persistent stomach pains for the last 1-2 years
>live with parents
>skeleton
Pros:
>no debt
>no mental illnesses (to my knowledge)

I'd say about 3-4.

>>18161576
I'm like a 3 now but if I can cure my mental problem it could easily shoot up 4-5 points just by that. I have everything I wanted as a kid but mental illness has made it impossible to really enjoy it

>>18161874
Aw, that sucks. Sorry to hear

>>18161864
>persistent stomach pains for the last 1-2 years
What is your diet like?

>>18161570
Isn't this the chick that streams with Axel?

>>18161840
>Why do your kind keep women as sex workers?
because they turn real life into softcore porn

>>18161576
5

>>18161906
>can't see bare arms or a bit of leg without turning into a drooling retard
Pathetic

>>18161914
>this poster claims to be a materialist

>>18161906
Unacceptable nonsensical answer

Who is that

Apart from still living with my parents, everything is more or less in order. Done with master’s, have a normal but above average paying job that isn’t too hard nor too time consuming (8h with lunch). I still want to have enough money to quit and just have free time for myself and rent an apartment I’m the city. I’d say 6.

>>18161840
I can't stop mimicking the gif. I'm stuck in a loop.

Its never been worse for me personally but I've seen alot worse in others so I guess 3. Don't really have anything going except that my family is there and I can still live with them. Despondent about everything, no work related or people skills, no friends, no network, no dreams except delusions of grandeur. Say what you will about the ongoing tradcath larp but I probably wouldve kms already if it werent for that.

>>18161956
ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW

im so lonely

>>18161895
It's due to pelvic floor dysfunction from chronic masturbation.

>>18161691
lmaooo

>>18161576
10. But I have a feeling that I can go even further.

>>18161576
5. 28 years old, single, lonely. Army for a while, now almost done with college. Worried about the future. Daily suicidal thoughts that I'm trying to figure out with philosophy. Failing one class right now due to a small mental break that caused me to drop a final project at the last minute. Felt great to not do that project, I think quitting was a symbolic suicide and brought me great relief. Rarely talk to family, If I do it feels brief and shallow. Have some friends throughout the country that I text occasionally, but we are slowly drifting apart, so it goes. Nothing to do this summer, no job or classes. Not sure what I'm going to do. I feel very unsure. I wonder how I would act if I had no family alive to judge me?

>>18161970
>delusions of grandeur
those are pretty fun at least.

>>18161570
STACKED

>>18162016
Its unironically over. Just become A NEET and play video games. I'm sorry anon

i wanna suckle on her boobas, then her chin and nose

>>18161570
I have such a visceral attraction to femboys it brings me close to vomitting, also the Heart of Darkness is a very good book

>>18161793
She's Swedish

What if I stopped spending 6+ hours looking at 4chan in the morning to evening and supplanted that time with practicing math and grammar on khan academy?

WHAT IS HER NAME

>>18161895
Carbs, meat and junk food. A common day is one lunch from mom (some kind of meat, carbs like potatoes or rice, salad or something like beans), then 1-3 toasts/breads with meat/schmaltz/jelly/honey, frozen pizza or something of that nature, and maybe some chips and sweets.

I dont get any matches because my profile photos are blurry ripped mirror selfies.
Taking proper photos is so vain, I can't bring myself to do jt.
Maybe I just need a cooler bio

>>18162210
It sounds like you don't actually believe in what you're doing. Try deleting your profile and see how it makes you feel.
>>18162202
Do you eat while laying on your side as well?

Holy FUCK tell me this woman's NAME HELLOOOOOO

>>18161570
I'd say a solid 8.

Pros
>finances in good standing
>slowly advancing my career towards a dream position
>/fit/, healthiest I've been in my entire life
>family and friend relationships in good places
>no romantic partner, but if they were to appear I think I'd be ready for them
>growing and fulfilling social life
>able participate frequently in hobbies/activities that make me feel alive

Cons
>current job isn't satisfying, but like i mentioned I'm taking steps to rectify this, and my current job still pays well and allows for very flexible hours which makes it manageable

I really don't have too much to complain about. Even if my current job isn't perfect, the pay + flexible hours to help get my mind off it make it tolerable, 10/10 would be if I was at my dream position.

Remember frens, a romantic partner will not move your life up the scale to 10, but it will take a 10 to an 11. If your life is shit before a romantic partner, it will still be shit while you have one, you need to be the sole source of your own happiness, and the romantic partner is for sharing that happiness with someone else.

>>18162239
Don’t bother her nudes aren’t focused great and the vid doesn’t show face

>>18162256
I dont WANT HER NUDES YOU FUCK, IM NOT A COOMER, IM ANTI PORN, I JUST WANT TO KNOW HER NAME, NOW WHAT IS IT

When it's bed time I think, I can't turn off my computer yet, then I'll lose my connection to everyone, them I'm all alone again
When I finally shut it off I think, thank fucking God I'm finally free

>>18161576
4, physical conditions are great because my parents are supporting me. But mentally not so good. Was recently diagnosed with ASD on top of OCD and depression. So I guess I get to join the club of literal autists on this website. Reading, family, lifting, and bird watching keep me happy.

My life feels like a treadmill. I'm in college and it feels like I am just barely getting by no matter how hard I try - not just academically, but socially and with respect to my personal goals as well.

>>18162304
She’s just a regular nordic (someone said Swedish) tourist.

>>18162016
Why aren’t you taking classes for the summer? You’re 28. If you ask me, you should just get your schooling over with. What are you studying for and what do you want to do by the way?

Discovering internet porn at around age 14 destroyed my life, or at least consumed a large part of it. I believe it caused a Jekyll-hide condition to fester within me. I am outwardly a normal person, but inside there is this rotten, obscene thing that craves for vile things and makes me feel a combination of guilt and cynical pride.
It made me feel ashamed and like a stranger for the reminder of my teenage years, it took away my time and energy, it fed on me like an addiction. I lose myself in it when I let it take control and it takes me a while to regain control. And after it is done with me, it leaves me feeling empty.

I found out that the same solutions Zapffe proposes in the last messiah to combat existential horror also help to stop this craving. It is like the opposite face of death anxiety: both are powerful feelings that obscure everything else around them when they settle in, and both constantly call from the back of my mind. But, unlike death anxiety that makes me desperately run away and hide from it, this acts more like a seductive defense mechanism.

The first time I exercised my willpower in 10 years and stopped it, I felt a wave of peace wash over me. Something inside me needs to die, but I'm afraid of letting go.

>>18162304
Its Ellenvy. She's doing a hot tub stream right now

>>18162765
Thanks. That's super disappointing. Bitch sits there and plays video games for four hours. Attraction gone

>>18162796
>She’s literally me
>attraction gone

>>18162796
She obviously takes care of her body

>>18162796
Just admit you're a faggot

>>18162826
Yeah that's good but what the fuck is her life

Today I became hank hill.

Major rains came and the drain system my grandfather built had been clogged and not maintained since he passed. I dug 40 feet of 4" pvc out of the ground, cleared out the 10lb of dirt and roots, rebuilt the brick structures around the entrance and the exit. My patio will no longer flood.

I then proceeded to take three 4x2 peg boards and mounted them to strips of wood I mounted to the wall in the garage, above the work bench. I took all the tools and such off the work bench and got them all hung up on little metal hooks, completely covering the 6x4 space. Freeing up my actual work bench, which, before, was completely covered in stuff.

My back hurts so much.

>>18162828
Simp

>>18162831
Getting paid to workout by streaming it. I dont know where you are getting video games from, literally all her pics/vids are workouts

>>18161576
5-6. I have health (except I got hemorrhoids now which are annoying as hell), I got good parents, have university degree, access to a few hobbies, etc.

But I am not completely satisfied due to multiple reasons: basically no social life (26 never had a gf), hate the country I live in which discourages me of doing activities such as traveling, no opportunity of growth, hated my life in university, etc.

Basically I plan to get a scholarship to Japan and I expect my satisfaction to jump to a 9.

>>18162844
that word is completely meaningless at this point

>>18162858

>>18161576
2 or 3, I’m sad

>>18162863
not even who you're responding to but only a simp would say this

>>18162858
>fit
>big tits
>short hair
>strong features
>tattoos
>piercings
>sick wardrobe
God I want her so bad. I don't even care if it used to be a man.

>>18162877
ok

>>18162884
no it's not okay, you shouldn't want to be a simp

>>18162888
no really its fine.

>>18162858
who is this

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3TUCGI-7rSjvHsE4ONXRww

I can't stand this self righteous fuck. This shit is literally just "No no, don't do that, I don't like it".

>>18162892
no it's not, these women deserve nothing from you

>>18162254
It's good advice. My relationships are kind of weird. The more clingy she is the less clingy I am so I always get ultra dependant at the end of a relationship. Thanks heart.
My parents arrived safely at their vacation spot. Meanwhile my kitter cade is sitting in the garage where they usually park. He misses them.
(It's safe nobody is going to drive into the garage.)

>>18162428
I usually do. But im on the GI bill and its about to run out so I can't waste months during the summer. I only have 8 classes and they arent offered during summer

>>18162918
>270k subscribers
>57 patrons

>>18162948
I'm studying MechE. I hate it and don't care what kind of job I get afterward. Anything will do.

>>18162858
>no results on google
>no results on tiny eye
>no results on sauceNAO
Where else do I go? HOW DO I FIND OUT WHO THIS IS.

>>18161576
8. On route to being 'successful' by most metrics. I have small amount of very close friends and people I can really talk to and do stuff with. A good catalogue of 'life experience' to draw on. Live in a comfy place without any financial struggles. Handsome-ish, good hair, born a Med. No mental issues to my knowledge but not 'neurotypical'

But yeah tfw no gf. Didn't bother me too much until this last year. Finally found a girl I like but too much of a coward to try anything romantic and risk losing her as a friend....
>>18161592
>>18161597
Very similar to u anons. Except I don't find that pic 'torture' or whaterver

>>18162929
They dont gain much from me defending them on a literature forum they will never see

>>18162202
Eat some fruit bro, for real

>>18161570
tiddies

I just regret and hate the person I’ve been so damn much.

>>18162957
What do you want to do though? You can’t live your life just resigned to doing something you hate all day, every day until you die.

>>18163157
pretend to be who you want to be and eventually that's just who you'll be

>>18161576
1 but every year is worse than the last so it could be higher in the end depending on when I work up the courage to die.

>>18161576
6 i just need to lose some weight to go to 8

>>18163157

I've been working at a data analysis job for the past few years and I just don't give a shit at all. My coworkers are all of these milquetoast normies who get super excited when someone figures out some new way to manipulate excel files and I just hate it. I got meme'd into an economics degree and I have no idea what path I could take from here that would lead to more fulfilling work that wouldn't also cause me to significantly lower my income level. I only make $75k a year but it's definitely better than a lot of my friends rn and everyone I work with tells me I have a good future and can do pretty much whatever I want in the company but everyone in this company just sits around on excel all day it's boring as fuck.

>>18161570
>Be me
>don't go on 4channel for a month
>Life seems pretty rosy, people are happy
>Politics are calmer
>Even looming conflicts like US/China relations and climate change seem fixable
>Hmm, I wonder what's going on over on 4channel
>Goes to /lit/
>The West is declining
>China shills/China opponent war in various threads
>Leftist spam, right-wing spam
Browsing this site seems more and more like viewing a super-warped funhouse mirror of reality.


>>18161576
7.2
I can't complain about anything, but the overall feeling is that I will have to address several increasingly damaging dysfunctional behaviors soon.

why did i had to be a manlet

>>18163191
>Browsing this site seems more and more like viewing a super-warped funhouse mirror of reality.
Thats because we have no filter on reality here.

>>18163198
The first time I saw that frog say the n-word it was like someone had kicked open the door to my mind

I think I'm getting off the wagon boys. I'm going to get very drunk tonight. I feel compelled to nose dive into the ground and be done with it all.

>>18163198
Read: no filter on perspectives generated by abnormal individuals

>>18163160
I beg to differ, there are many such cases. In fact, that is exactly what most jobs are.

>>18162849
She does both.

recommend a comfy book

>>18163230
The Adventures of Comfy von Comfyton

>>18163228
That’s true but that’s exactly the problem. If that’s all you’ve got, you’re kind of screwed aren’t you? What’s the point then?

>>18163230

>>18163305
Well yes exactly, what's the point. This is why I'm reading philosophy. So far it seems like there isn't a point beyond suffering. Now Im trying to decide if I'm going to suicide or not. I can't think of a reason not to. I'll keep thinking about it for awhile at least. To be or not to be?

>>18163230
3 musketeers or Monte Cristo. Both are great but I think MC is better.

I live in a pretty ritzy neighborhood of a pretty nice city. The past couple of times I've been to one of the local nice bars, there's been a woman there who is very attractive and also very fat. She's clearly more than 300 pounds, maybe even more than 350, but she's got such a pretty face that it's obvious she could be some kind of BBW porn star if she wanted to be.

If I see her there again this weekend I'm going to try to ask her out on a date. We've already chatted a bit and exchanged names, and she seems fond of me. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't super into the idea of this. I'm a fatfag, and also an American, so I see plenty of fat women, but even so, it's still kind of rare to see one THIS big. I'd like to get to know her better.

>>18162858
WHO. WHO IS THE SEMEN DEMON.

>>18161613
u guys are like women in that u need potent emotions to stay away from something rather than easy adherence to discipline and principle

I've been getting sick way more often this year. I'm not somebody who usually falls ill, but this year I've been sick almost every other week. I'm wondering if spending so much time indoors last year weakened my immune system in some sort of meaningful way, or if its just coincidental.

>>18161576
2

For me to succeed at this point, it would be years of "faking it until I make it". Inside I'm a guy that would just sleep and stay asleep if I could, but I have to be someone more than that for any chance to be happy later on in life now. It's hard

Does anyone use these threads more as a medium for writing? It seems like writing on 4chan comes so much easier than staring at a blank screen. I've been reading about smart notes and I think I've inadvertently done some of it with my shitposting here. Posts I make that are long and explaining something, I've started to save so I can either repost them or use them as dialogue for when I get back to writing a book. I mean, yesterday I wrote 1100 words of advice to anons in these threads. I haven't written that much from a blank screen in a long while. Even this post itself is pretty long. I really like the quote from the smart notes book about how writing is not the evidence of thinking, but it is part of the act. Neat stuff. I wish my day job had content I could rewrite easier, but statutes and case law generally have to be directly quoted for most stuff, so it's hard to take smart notes about something where the language is so particular.

Anyone else have experience with smart notes or shifting to that mode of thinking?

i was walking through a bourgeois neighborhood full of brownstones blasting music in my headphones and some old gen-x aging cooldad said something to me and then made a face like he was blowing air on me, do you think he was bitching that i didn't have a mask on? he didn't either, and the street was empty except for him. why the fuck did he make that face at me? i wasn't six feet away, but probably 4, and i have no idea what he said. that's going to annoy me until i'm sure he didn't coof me with covid.

>>18163463
Same here and I’ve had the same thought.

>>18163330
I’m sorry if I’m misunderstanding but I do still feel as though you haven’t answered my question of whether there’s something you want to do, and I don’t necessarily just mean for a job here to be clear.

>>18163178
Are you me? Wait, you can’t be me because you make a lot more money than me...

>>18163163
It’s too late. I’m going to be 30 in just a few years. My adolescence is long gone, and my formative years are behind me. Whatever romantic youth, at least of the sort I now realize I might’ve wanted for myself or would’ve been aligned with my true nature, I might’ve had is now just something that exists in my head forever.

>>18163178
that sounds rad af ur coworkers r prob like why did they hire this low iq guy

I think that I am developping some sort of mental illness. I used to think that I was simply depressed, but now I believe that it is more serious. Some of my friends have started to fear for my life. I don't believe in meds since they cloud the mind and I think that mental illnesses are syptoms of a sickness of the soul and not of hormonal imbalance.

Why do I change? Why does my whole attitude change? Why do I feel differently than I did just a week ago, for a whole year before, and for no apparent reason. The mood is just all wrong.

I can't stop thinking of the amazon female small male master race

>>18163612
No they keep complimenting and promoting me but the work never changes it's always just more numbers on spreadsheets

>>18162858
I found it. No thanks to anyone here. nahla monroe

Old friend of mine messaged me out of the blue. She never really was the type to keep in touch or even reply for that matter. Should I repomly sincerely or sarcastically?

>>18163594
I don't think there is anything I want besides to be happy. But I also don't believe happiness is some tangible attainable thing, it is a fleeting external that I don't really chase anymore. I don't know what I want anon. I want to be calm and content ready for death.

>>18163745
try fuck her

>>18163775
we already did

>>18163628

>>18163745
i always wonder what would happen if some chick from my past tried to get in touch with me but so far all that happened is some kid i got suspended from school with in 9th grade looked at my linkedin lol

Lads, if you can help me out in understanding Hobbes I would greatly appreciate. I will attempt to compose my question better than previously

Hobbes' stately ontology supposes that individuals consciously and consensually come together and necessarily give consent to the Sovereign; however, I fear that this ignores historical precedent. The most natural and easiest method of politicizing the populace is subjugation: the type of rule most common around classical antiquity, or slightly prior, with the Achaemenid Shahanshah or the Egyptian Pharaoh (although the Pharaoh was semi-subservient to the priesthood). In these states, the populace is functionally reduced to slaves insofar as the ruler is free to exercise his will at his discretion. Here, in a partial state of nature, the populace is technically politicized but unjustly so; for the ruler, who through subjugation extends his natural right across all as [an arbitrary set of] law(s), politicizes the populace but, by virtue of the nature of his rule, does not remove himself from the state of nature; thus, the populace, despite being politicized by arbitrary laws (for politicization is characterized by the exaltation of a unifying principle [such as the tyrant's law] that binds the populace, creates peace, and thereby prompts the relinquishment of their natural right), technically remains in the state of nature insofar as the ruler never leaves it.

Hobbes was obviously aware of the distinction between Sovereign and subjugator/slavemaster/tyrant so my question is this: how does he differentiate the Sovereign from the subjugator/slavemaster/tyrant? The Leviathan, despite being given considerable autonomy, cannot be absolutely free to act in whichever way he chooses: what are his restrictions/what restricts him?

"Don't ye love sperm?" - Moby Dick

none of you will ever achieve true happiness as long as you cling to your consumerist desires

>>18161894
I guess I'm luckier than a lot of other people whose lives are too broken to recover. But, mine has also been really hard to recover. I've tried tons of medicines and treatments and nothing's worked. There's one treatment I can try soon-ish, but it's THE treatment, and it's the one everyone calls the last resort, so if I fail it I don't know what the fuck I'll do. But on the other hand, whether it works or not, I should just try it ASAP and stop wasting time. I just feel anxious because everything else has failed so far, so why wouldn't this one? It's weird. It sucks

There's just an anxiety about confronting your life's problems that feels way worse than just pretending there's nothing wrong and trying to ignore them. It's hard

>>18163967
Tried some kind of mushrooms?

>>18163628
I actually saw a pretty big pregnant woman the other day, about six feet or just under. Right behind her was a small framed husband with their blonde mop-headed kid hand in hand. Right away I thought of you.

>>18163838
Hubba

>>18161633
Is she actually? Most tall girls have really weird bodies but this one looks ok

>>18161570
Who is this? I want to squeeze her tits and slap her ass

>>18164011
Nah. I've heard there's a chance it temporarily improves issues like these, but it could also screw you up even more apparently if you get unlucky which makes me anxious about it

>>18164082
Ellen Vy

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1008799437

>>18164100
Thanks. God I wanna get my lusty hands and dick all over her

>>18163983
iktfb. I have massive problems too but it seems less painful to just ignore them than face it in direct fashion but then how do i tackle on having no direction in life?

>>18164115
She has an even more muscly boyfriend fyi

>>18164135
So?

>>18161576
8-9, I got extremely lucky with crypto last year but unable to enjoy any of it because I can't travel

>>18164135
>even more muscly
she isnt muscular whatsoever. she is slightly above average for a chick into fitness, has maybe 2 years of consistent training under her belt. it is only indicative of the absolute state of fitness that one considers her muscular

>>18164171
>she isnt muscular whatsoever
Bullshit, I want to arm wrestle with her so bad

>>18164143
Fyi=for your information

>>18164171
Yea yea, for sure. He is *more* muscular by a lot. Okay?

>>18161576
I'd give it a 6, but my life is gonna go to shit, probably permanently, really soon.

>>18164178
>ywn have a muscular Nordic gf who'll position herself in this pose for you to scratch and stroke her pussy

>>18164115
>>18164178
>>18164185
Anybody else dual-fetish fat and muscle here? I find these girls hot as fuck, but I also find huge whales hot as fuck too. I suppose a big part of it is how atypical those body types are.

That and it's clear that these girls don't roid, so they've maintained their femininity, and merely enhanced it naturally, which really gets me going.

>>18164272
>>18164272
I don't like landwhales, but I like chubbythicc women.

>>18164272
>That and it's clear that these girls don't roid, so they've maintained their femininity, and merely enhanced it naturally, which really gets me going.
For me it's a strong instinct of wanting to overpower her.

>>18161570
Good lord I want to suckle on those nipples all night, I want to caress that beautiful, staunch, muscular body and tongue her all over

>>18164295
Based. I want to pin down her muscular self with my flabby arms

>>18163628
Post your height

All I want is a decent enough support network, but my behaviour thus far has given every indication I'm an autist who doesn't need or want one. That I'm better off alone, love my own tome too much and would rather be doing nerd shit. I'm over that now, but the conditioning is too strong, the perception too concrete. I honestly feel at this point I need to leave this place and fuck off elsewhere to be reborn, as trite as that may be.

I need some peaceful meditative ambient world that makes me feel like I am floating in a vast ocean of warm water, just 10 feet below the surface, surrounded by womb-like amber light and the dark slender shapes of relaxed plants scarcely lining my periphery, their bulbous heads at the end of their stalks like depth charges in an ancient nature-reclaimed battlefield site, half-emerged in the comfortable fog and warmth of this sanctuary place infinitely away from people and places. I am not a writer by hobby or trade whatsoever so I am not posting this plodding mess of text in pretentious confidence, I am honestly just trying hard to precisely describe an escape or place I can go to one day. I need a meditative peaceful place like this. It does not seem fitting to the medium of books however. Is there a book that can even transport a reader to somewhere like this?

It’s unironically over for me

>>18161570
>>18164115
>>18164178
>>18164285
>>18164300
All I want is to stick my small peen inside her strong meaty body and ceaselessly fuck her like an animal until her fertile hips yield at least 10 children.
Sorry for hornyposting bros, the urge is too strong

>>18164337
Solaris

>>18161576
>6

>Basic survival needs are taken care of, no underlying physical health ailments of importance.
>Take good care of my body and am very /fit/, not conventionally attractive but not ugly, like a 6/10.
>1 intimate friend and no love life ever.
>Struggling with many a mental illnesses and dilemmas of the sort.
>Made a change for the better tonight. I expect positive change.

>>18164349
Would my question be better served by making a thread or should I keep it here?

I just had a great time at a /k/ meet-up last week, but I'm thinking it might be for the best to take a break from imageboards and imageboard-adjacent places for a good long while.

>>18164337
My ideal dimension of pure comfort is giant rolling green fields. Pretty basic but it gets my rocks of I guess. Also I very much enjoyed reading your post and I think you have a talent in writing.

>>18161570
that's an ugly woman

>>18164389
That's a homosexual poster

>>18161576

2

I'm almost middle aged an absolute failure, incel and riddled with anxiety. Life promised so much yet delivered so little. I see through the world and all its shams. Its over

>>18163570
Yep I feel the same way and have started to save some longer posts as well. Knowing that others will read what you wrote and potentially find errors/gaps pushes you to be critical of your writing in a way that typing into a blank document doesn't.

How do I deal with hemorrhoids? I want to avoid the surgery

>>18161576
>>18162967
Same as this guy actually. Fairly successful and good core group of friends, but I am bouncing around places a lot because of career. Really exhausting, I just want to settle down somewhere...
Would not rate this an 8 though, >tfw no gf craters a lot and I spent most of my free time with cope such as this website.

>>18161570
I do not understand. What is going on? I do not comprehend anything anymore about anything.
What is going on? Have we all become mad? It is so unreal. I feel like I am the insane one. The mal adjusted. I must be a wrong part in the machine. Get me out. My being resist its will. I never ask, I think to be bricked and used for some vision of progress. Get me out to Thee.

I sure am not the only one feeling that we shifted into a darker hell than we were in. It is getting worse. What is next? 10 years ago we would laught at the radical left with their lgbt shit now for supper for 30 minutes on tv they said it was ok to be pansexual at 7 years old and interviewed the "thing" that was 11. Everything was sexualise in the discussion. It is a child. A 11 year old child talking about a perverse sexuality on prime time tely and the rest of the folks cheer him.
What is the joke that we are in?

I have been thinking a lot about where I will be buried because of my future accomplishments

do you bros ever wonder the same thing?

>>18161570
i was here...just was almost running through rome solo, stumbled onto this place...people taking pictures in mid-to-large groups, enjoying themselves with food and beverages, whilst I, almost in a haze, looking in disbelief at the beauty of architecture and the pristine water at the sunset..and then just continuing my adventure strolling through rome

Anyone want to go for some perambulations with me?

>>18161576
a solid 7

The story in this picture has left me quite disturbed.

>>18164709
Man what a bitch.
The therapist I mean.

>>18164392
Nah he's right, she looks bogged

>>18164769
Nah

>>18164709
Child porn is really something where all bets are off it seems. At that point others consider you no longer human and you lose all rights. No matter what you actually have done. At least in the US. I always found this weird. It is like some people just short circuit there. Even here on 4chan, the posters turn into chimps.

>>18164792
>>18164769
She looks homely imho.

>>18164796
>Child porn
Meant to say paedophilia.

>>18164797
Yeah, I'd like to visit her home

>>18164709
poor dude
F

>>18164661
probably cremated and scattered in the wind

>>18164967
just like Julius Caesar (PBUH)

>>18164967
Both my parents asked me do this for them. Over different lakes. I guess it has a certain appeal to it.

>>18164709
therapist is a failure
sucks
this subject is going to pop up a lot more not far from now, and we're going to have to figure out what to do about it

>>18164337
listen to echo of small things (robert rich)

>>18164709
jesus christ
>>18164803
kek

Should i watch Madoka Magica: Rebellion or read for the rest of the night?

>A woman is posted
>/lit/ loses its mind

>>18165231
>watching anime

>>18165239
What website do you think you're on?

>>18162858
>Basically I plan to get a scholarship to Japan and I expect my satisfaction to jump to a 9.
A few tips.
1. Learn the language well. This means being able to read newspapers, novels, etc. and watch TV with people. If you can neither speak nor read the language, you will suffer.
2. When you get there, join clubs, attach yourself to men of various sorts, and ask them about their lives and how they interact with people, particularly women.
3. Follow the local rules of decorum. No one will force you to follow them. No one will even complain when you break them, because that is not how they do things there. But if you do follow them, and if you ask people to explain the rules to you, they will respond very positively. Their attitude to you can change in literal seconds just because you phrased something in very respectful Japanese instead of being a jackass.

>>18163191
You might feel good about your own life when you step away from the computer, but that doesn't mean that things are actually going well.

>>18163191
Funny thing is I only start browsing 4chan when I become depressed about the state of the world. This is why I started going here again after last year.

>>18163915
>however, I fear that this ignores historical precedent.
There is certainly a very compelling argument to be made that the arguments made by the founders of modern political philosophy are unsound.
>a partial state of nature
How is that a partial state of nature? The state of nature predates all States. If there is a ruler, there is no state of nature. You'd have to look at hunter-gatherers and horticulturalists to observe anything like a state of nature.
>technically remains in the state of nature insofar as the ruler never leaves it.
I thought that the ruler alone remained in the state of nature. The populace would leave the state of nature by entrusting their sovereignty to him, but he would not leave it. Thus is he entitled to do as the population as he wishes, e.g. to expropriate their property.
>The Leviathan, despite being given considerable autonomy, cannot be absolutely free to act in whichever way he chooses: what are his restrictions/what restricts him?
I had the impression that he was free to act as he chose, because his deeds embodied the will of the people. This is why Hobbes rejected the idea of rebellion against the ruler.
I may be wrong though. I am speaking on the basis of the essay on Hobbes in Leo Strauss's History of Political Philosophy, so perhaps you know better.

Women are beasts and should be held in the house, only being allowed to go out with their guardiands.

i was wondering what could be the next virtue signaling food taboo diet beyond veganism, here it is, i give you: Raw Veganism. if you're still cooking your food then you are a bad person who doesn't care about ethics or sustainability.

>>18161576
3/10
>>18161570
Are there any books with this aesthetic (thick, well dressed girl in front of ancient wealthy building)?

>>18162918
homosexual detected

>>18163452
NTA but no, you're just annoying because you're both witless and one-note and you have no interest in anything except spreading your porno cancer. You're like an insistent door-to-door vendor that sells a bag of drugs cut with shit. You are annoying. Porn is an unpleasant business even for its users but you revel in it.

>>18165501
I think Nikocado Avocado did this and it triggered his mental illness and made him who he is today

>>18163230
A Canticle for Leibowitz

>>18164709
this made me pretty sad

why are east Asians so hell-bent on eliminating their facial structure from existence?

what's the cause?

>>18165501
but cooking food was one of the great achievement of early hominids that allowed us to be where we are today as a species.

>>18165689
Are you sure that you're perceiving reality correctly?

>>18165689
What?

>>18163838
How tall is she?
>>18164026
>I actually saw a pretty big pregnant woman the other day, about six feet or just under. Right behind her was a small framed husband with their blonde mop-headed kid hand in hand. Right away I thought of you.
lol I didn't realize I was a recognizable poster.
>>18164323
I'm not nearly small enough

>>18165699
Shhh don't tell em

Anime boobs
Boobs big
HUGE!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>18165923
Good but I want a real life woman with huge boobs

How much Anais Nin will I have to read for someone to fug me?

>>18165934
When you suck them, you realize small ones are nice, too. You can't get titfucks though

>>18166001

>>18161576
2-3 hope to say the same as this anon in a year or two
>>18161658

Did lit become a lot more philosophy-focused compared to old lit (several years ago+)

I visited my elderly grandmother at the old folks home today, the first time I've seen her in a year due to covid. I had to watch through a window in the pouring rain as my father sat there in a visor and absurd plastic gloves and apron trying to get her to recognise him. I saw myself with my own mother 20 years from now. I recall my grandmother as a once intelligent and active woman. Now nothing more than a fading husk who can't even remember that she was married for 40 years.

I look at my face in the car mirror on the way home. Sunken eyes, fine lines, receding hair. Youth is long gone, nothing much to hope for. In private, constant existential torment and profound questions I'm far too dumb to answer. In persona, a cowardly, grinning brave face. Life is pointless, meaningless and utterly absurd. And I've gone past caring.

>>18166003
Boobs are nice, in general. However, it is much better to be smothered by large breasts than small ones.

There can be no more absolute waste of time than the attempt to prove, at the present day, that man, by mere exercise of will, can so impress his fellow, as to cast him into an abnormal condition, of which the phenomena resemble very closely those of death, or at least resemble them more nearly than they do the phenomena of any other normal condition within our cognizance; that, while in this state, the person so impressed employs only with effort, and then feebly, the external organs of sense, yet perceives, with keenly refined perception, and through channels supposed unknown, matters beyond the scope of the physical organs; that, moreover, his intellectual faculties are wonderfully exalted and invigorated; that his sympathies with the person so impressing him are profound; and, finally, that his susceptibility to the impression increases with its frequency, while, in the same proportion, the peculiar phenomena elicited are more extended and more pronounced.

>>18166078
Based

>>18165501
>The British Dietetic Association named the raw vegan diet one of the "top 5 worst celeb diets to avoid in 2018", raising a concern that it could compromise long-term health.
heh

>>18166078
Smaller ones have more nipple sensitivity.
Kind of not fair. You want to suck on the bigger ones, but it’s the itty biddy ones that appreciate it most

>>18161576
5

I’ve already mentally committed to leaving my job in June or July but I can’t work up the courage to actually tell my boss.

>>18166514
Just give HR your two weeks notice (or not. You can skip out)
Have any vacation time accrued? You could use that as the “two weeks notice”
You owe nothing to this “boss”

I saw a gore vid on /gif/ the other day and now i cant get Funkytown out of my head.

I'm too worried about shit I know I shouldn't let bother me, but I can't help it. It's making it hard to sleep and it keeps me anxious most of the day as well.

I'm having troubles writing my book. I'm the one to blame for posting as I write, though. Fuck me.

I watched Neil Gaiman's masterclass and he told me nothing in three hours. Aaron Sorkin told me more useful things in five minutes.

I fucking hate cars. Whenever I see a cluster of them backed up on the highway or a street streaming with them it makes me dizzy. It's an inefficient, absurd invention and it makes no sense that there are this many. While I wouldn't want them gone completely, there should be much less of them, and they used be used only in cases where they are necessary such as long haul freight transport. To design an entire society around them, as in America, is ridiculous on so many levels. You get the impression that everything is made for cars, not the people living in it. They're noisy, expensive, intrusive, dangerous, environmentally damaging, polluting hunks of waste.

>>18166803
Agree. Cars have their time and place, but cities have turned to concrete deserts because of them. Just think of all the wasted space.

>>18166664
The thing is I think my job is safe until the day I decide to stop and I want to collect a paycheck for a few more months since my savings is kind of sparse. June is the end of our fiscal year and when my current lease ends so it just seemed the most appropriate. Mentally, I’m checked out and I know I can’t stay. I just don’t have a backup job to go to and my anxious self won’t let me just tell them I’m done.

Why does it say I’m banned for cp whenever I try to post from mobile? I’ve never once posted or asked for cp, not even loli. Am I supposed to appeal this? I’ve never appealed bans because I need to leave this site but I don’t want to get in trouble for something I never did.

>>18167152
They just ban entire mobile ip ranges so that you can’t get around it by toggling airplane mode.

>>18161576
2. No job, no friends, but I'm not homeless yet

>>18167142
The lack of a backup is your only real concern. Leave whenever. Use them as a reference for the next job if you want. Don’t stress the leaving of it.

>>18167161
I didn’t know that thanks.

>>18161576
Like 8 desu

>>18167167
I don’t even know if there will be a next job so I don’t know why I care. I’m just a hesitant, indecisive, anxious wreck these days.

>>18161576
7
>have a job
>a gf
Now I only need to strive for excellence (but alas here I am shitposting. Old habits die hard.)

>>18167184
So you’re planning on falling into homelessness or suicide?

I personally am trying arrange a life around fighting for a different community. Odd jobs in agriculture or crafts or something.

This thread explains the constant negativity and rage in this site

>>18167253
I have family I can live with if I need to. I just don’t really know what I should do. I just know I don’t want to keep doing this. I did odd jobs in agriculture for a while when I was roughly college age.

>>18161576
7

>>18167296
Okay. Good to hear. You’ll find your way.
Ugh. We should leave the internet for a long period. Clears the head and habit of these e-places

>>18166034
Yeah it's kinda new (and in my opinion weird. We're creators not followers. Write your own philosophy) but there's always a new influx of people wandering these shadowed halls so I just take it as is.

>>18166034
No

>>18167333
I do need to do that. I’m too old to still be coming here.

>>18163230
>rip van winkle by irving
>lost horizon by hilton
>a river runs through it by maclean
>a month in the country by carr
>>18165626
my man

I don't want. I don't love. I do things because I feel like I'm dutybound to do them. I don't even resent it. I'm dead inside.

>>18164709
Fuck off with the pedophilia normalization.

>>18167378
Haha I’m duty bound to send this income summary by customer out before I go home today but that doesn’t mean it’s going to happen

I never had a control of my life. Everything just happened. I just dont know what to want or where to go. Doing for the sake of doing it just sounds rather pointless because i feel like i've been doing this my whole life. Every single improvement feels like having a nice facade when foundation is completely rotten and on verge of collapsing into black hole. I used to believe that reading could atleast provide some catalyst for things to happen but i've almost lost the hope. No one reads this crap so i can let it out.

>>18166803
I share this sentiment. Cars are an abomination.

>>18167445
That's half the fun of 4chan. Nobody can really trail you through the shadows and we're just another whisper on the wind.
There are times where I feel like giving a nod and a wink and revealing myself aren't enough. Sometimes I want to shout into the darkness and say look! It's me! I'm your friend! Look at the books I wrote, I want you to enjoy them and make your life better! Let's all be happy!
Alas. That is not the nature of this ephemeral board. It's fine.
I really do wish the best for you though anon. The pen is mightier than the sword after all.

I wish I were normal. From the moment I wake up until I sleep all I feel like doing is browsing 4chan basically

>>18167662
When I take a break from time-wasters I am overwhelmed by existential dread and the knowledge that nothing I did ever mattered, nor any future effort I'll do will matter, and that I failed at everything I wanted to do with the most diligent dedication and that I was gas station attendant material all along, and I feel like killing myself because I tried so hard and the projects I had for myself were so grand. Everything I do outside of this shithole is still a waste of time, just as bit more elegant maybe. I think this website has kept me alive like the bottle keeps the drunkard alive sometimes.

>>18167528
You're right. When i think about myself - i'm just a walking joke in a way that i dont want others to tell what to do but i cant think myself what i want to do. Truly Tantalus situation.

>>18161576
7 or so, the progression of my life is more stalled due to lockdowns etc than I’d like it to be, but I am safe warm and well fed living in a nice area of countryside. I recently had a brief relationship which ended due to a lack of long term sustainability but the passion and love of it reminded me I am capable of romanticism, that despite what I might try to repress, I have warmth in my heart and an earnest sentimental soul. I try harder than all my friends to deny a need to be in love and yet I seem to find it by happenstance, only a shame that the people I am able to feel genuine love for and the people with whom a relationship can be longterm essentially never overlaps. Still I am happy.

>>18161576
3, thinking of killing myself every single day.
health is shit, future is shit.
mental issues getting worse.
no energy left, completely burned out.
betrayed over and over and kicked in the teeth while I was down.
my life's crumbling around me and I've got only duties to keep me from ending it.
the only reason why it's a 3 is that the worst is yet to come.

>>18163617
what are you experiencing?

>>18167688
>When I take a break from time-wasters I am overwhelmed by existential dread and the knowledge that nothing I did ever mattered
Same. I'm working towards my goals, but I'm afraid it won't change anything. What does it matter on the grand scheme of things if I have a great career? How does life matter? How do I make myself feel good? Inherently, what I want is to touch people and help them get ahead in life, which is in part because I appreciate my friends very much, but also because I feel like if I can't ever achieve anything I'm satisfied with, at least the people I care about should get the opportunity.

I don't know where else I can ask. I found that Memorial University Grenfell campus has a Great Books Humanities program. It's quite cheap relative to other Great Books programs in US and Canada for international students. Also St.Thomas University in Fredericton, Concordia University, Brock University, Vancouver Island University and Carleton University have similar Great Books programs. Is anyone here familiar with these programs and can tell me if they are good or not?

>>18164709
the prophet Muhammad (pbuh) recommended fasting to help regulate libido. I can tell you from experience that it can really get quite low. Fasting from dawn til dusk every other day would be the max. According to tradition this is how king David fasted, peace be upon him.

>>18166347
kek

>>18167776
It's not this for me. I'd be happy if I managed to get in the flow of things and find a way of living, and do things I enjoy doing. Instead I'd have to live as a failure doing meaningless things just to eat another day. I don't want to do that.

There is a child slumbering in every grown up - it is to this child that I want to speak. I want to speak to the child and speak as a child. I am more than tired of being a grown up. How muddled your thoughts get. How long the sentences get. Why is that? Are you really saying that much more? Or do you just like to hear yourself talk. Nothing against it. But I want to listen for now.

>>18167821
What are things that you enjoy?

>>18167341
Haven't been on 4chan in about 6 years, but I remember people arguing a lot about philosophy, and having essentially the same arguments as now back then. I think you're right that it's just new people constantly coming in reading the same books and then having similar discussions. It's interesting to me how a lot of the culture persists despite people constantly leaving and arriving.

>>18167688
>>18167831
Are you Gas-kun? If not is that guy still around?
>Instead I'd have to live as a failure doing meaningless things just to eat another day
I feel kind of similar, but I'm going back to school to put off having to deal with it for a few years. My brother is working in academia and I'm tempted to do the same after school or maybe just put up with a shitty private sector job, but when I'm going through a bout of depression it can seem impossible to do that day after day. I'm just hoping that I make enough money off gambling or something to not have to deal with having an actual job.

Might end up rejoining the military because it's easy, even though I might kill myself while I'm in.

>>18167776
That sounds like a really good mindset. I've had to abandon a lot of grand ambitions over the years, but I think what's made me okay with it is being able guide other people. I think one of the most satisfying things I've done in the past few years is teach people how to swim, or mentoring new folks on the job. Makes me feel better about my regrets, but also makes me understand how parents trying to push their ambitions on their kids must feel.

>>18167750
Hang in there, the strongest are given the greatest challenges.

>>18167445
No one has control over their life. Sometimes you feel bad about this, sometimes you don't, it's all determined by chance.

You should find some kind of scheme to participate in, I suggest buying crypto and fantasizing about making enough money to not have to work anymore. I think that everyone should have some kind of scheme. This way you will be able to participate with others in the scheme and feel like you're part of a community/conspiracy. Being a fan of a sports team might also help out since those guys have a lot of fun and it can be a similar dynamic.

>>18164337
Good post anon, I think we all have a personal and vivid environment that exists as the image for tranquility in our psyche. The only medium that has ever managed to encapsulated my inner serenity is art or music. I don't have much experience with it myself, but maybe look into poetry? I don't think the narratives that books provide can be conducive to the ambience you're looking for.

>>18161570
The woman is blocking my view of the picture

>>18163581
next time try not being autistic, take your phones off and ask him what the fuck he wants

I just remembered something. When I was a kid in school, we had a book fair and I bought a Simpsons comic. Just having that comic made me happy, it was a lot of fun to read just from the simple stories and nice art. Now I have a great shelf of comics and when I read it I just feel nothing inside

>>18163581
>wearing masks outdoors
Is that a problem Americans have to deal with?

I'm pissed off. Two anons tried to disprove the amazon female small male master race and failed. I admitted that I confused the square cube law with Kleiber's law and that the increase in energy expenditure only scales logarithmically with an increase in mass but that actually benefits the afsmmr as it solved the problem that I was having with figuring out how the women would be energy efficient. I always just considered it a necessary cost for the increase in superovulation fecundity. However it is actually the case that the males will still be cost efficient in terms of their energy requirements while the females only have a logarithmic increase in energy requirements while still having a huge increase in their rate of producing offspring. So they actually strengthened the argument in favor of the amazon female small male master race.
So I admitted that I made that mistake, but I asked how it was relevant to disproving the superiority of the amazon female small male master race as a whole. They just started talking about the male variability hypothesis or some stupid shit which isn't relevant at all and I called them out on this, and they just ran away. I'm pissed off because I know they're out there in the world somewhere thinking that they disproved the amazon female small male master race but they didn't do anything.

>>18161576
5/10
Online uni is the fucking worst. Can't believe I might graduate without ever setting foot on a campus ever again as a student. Outside school though, life's been pretty good.

>>18164178
>grab a controller bro

>>18163581
I dont know why but this is making me laugh

>>18167445
Anon I'm in a similar space, reading is nice for ideas, but valuable action is hard for me to take. And due to this failing I often feel stuck and trapped within my own lethargy, waiting for the abyss that is birthed from my inaction to come and subsume me. I guess one thing that is helping the situation, is doing something different outside your daily routine.
Help someone when you usually wouldn't, go for a walk in a new place, find something new to make for breakfast; start breaking the monotony of your life and reflect upon the feelings that follow and direct them for further change.

>>18164525
I dunno, but it seems like several anons who post in these threads have gotten hemorrhoids at round about the same time, me included. I don't mind getting surgery if that means it'll stop bothering me, I just hope it's not a woman I have to spread my asscheeks for. There are several other methods of treatment available besides surgery though, depending on the stage yours are in. I'm gonna have to go get them checked out at any rate if this shit persists, it's pretty fucking uncomfortable.

>>18168126

Why do you care if it's a woman? It's near impossible to make a doctor uncomfortable, even with your asshole, regardless of gender. It's not like she has to do it after your second date and it's suddenly awkward.

>>18164796
yeah, except for when it's lgbt lobbyists and progressives pushing agendas. funny how it works

>>18165243
4channel.org, why do you ask?

>>18167688
Get out of my head.

>>18167874
Art. As a career it's completely different than what I enjoy and I can't even get started in it. It was the only thing that managed to lift my spirits but it's just too hard to make it work. I've tried doing other things but pretty much, everything I might decide to do feels like hell. I just can't function as a normal person living a normal life. I come back home and I don't want to watch anything, I don't take satisfaction in the things others enjoy and I have no idea how they live so easily through all that.
>>18167892
>Are you Gas-kun?
no, I rarely post here
>the strongest are given the greatest challenges.
sometimes you just fail
For every soldier that comes back home victorious there are dead men in a ditch.Ssometimes you're the man in the ditch. Just looking at nature for a second makes it clear that when you can't make things work you don't always get second, third and fourth chances. I've used up or wasted the opportunities I've had, sometimes by choices sometimes for bad luck, sometimes because I just didn't live up to the challenge. I've accepted that I'm too deep in to come back out now. For years I've pretended to be someone else in public and social situations because the real me only thinks about death.

>>18167831
This. I didn't realize it until I took acid with some friends, but I stopped listening to my inner child at some point and stopped enjoying life. It's important to regain a child-like playful and outgoing nature and integrate it back into the maturity you have as an adult.

>>18168139
I know, I know. I don't care that much, just a little bit. Just seems a bit worse if it's a female doctor fiddling around with my asshole,but I guess it's a very real possibility that it will be so whatever

>>18168090
Sometimes i think that i cannot use reflection at all or atleast when it comes to truly meaningful things. Like for example, i'm thinking whats going to be for dinner when i'm neglecting the fact that i'm not looking for a job and still living with parents. When i start comparing my situation with others then i see that i'm miles behind everyone and it makes me completely stop thinking. I honestly cant penetrate the ignorance when it comes to personal problems.

>>18168044
Don't worry bro, I believe in your theory

it's a good thing that God is al-Waliyy. it seems I was born for some solitude, so it's good that I will have at least one.

>>18168265
thanks fren. I guess the part that was the most annoying is the way they were trying to argue it. They just insulted me.

>>18168168
>the real me only thinks about death
What makes that the real you? Just because they're thoughts you have when you're alone doesn't make them your "Real" thoughts. If the you that can keep going on is the public you then maybe that is the more valid one. At night I think about killing myself and in the morning I think about whether or not I should have my eggs fried or scrambled, which thoughts better reflect who I am?

>sometimes you just fail
Who is deciding that you've failed?

>>18168044
Basado

>>18168254
Accurate and positive reflection is a skill that can be trained. As apart of finding new things to do, perhaps you can journal? I've been keeping short entries in an app called daylio, and it's been extremely helpful for tracking what actually gives me fulfillment vs giving me lethargy. No matter what form it takes, spend some time every so often writing about your situation and wants or lack thereof. The language you use is also very important, instead of focusing on Identity based verbiage, or asking why you are the way you are. Try using questions posed with What?. ie, what can I do to start looking for a job? What is making me neglect what I think needs to be done? Instead of why I am not looking for a job? I'm worthless, lazy etc which restricts you to a more permanent identity. This is how you further expand upon and direct positive change, proper questions posit proper answers, which can penetrate the ignorance of your personal problems and create a firmer inner foundation.

It was only with reflecting upon my own mortality, that I stopped comparing myself to others and became more autonomous and free from the ideals that others create. Success and what is fulfilling is relative, if you measure it with anything outside your own values, it becomes a spook that you will never reach. And will take you away from what you personally can find peace in. Reflect upon what you value, seek it, and strive to be like those who embody it. But respect yourself and your personal experience, as you decide if you're failing or not.

is the study of narcissistic behavior and the people who peddle that kind of thinking about abusive people a cult? there are so many gurus on youtube and everyone seems to eat everything up in the comments of these videos. am i being conned?

>>18168649
I been writing in my diary on and off for about 10 years (with big gaps too). You know what completely breaks me down? Is that i could read a random entry from about 5 or 6 years ago and i could easily mistakes for the one i wrote a week ago.
It just says that despite my desire to change the situation and get an insight, it never happened and i didnt realize all this time. I tried going to therapist, undertaking hypnosis, living on myself but that gave no long lasting result. Theres one other thing which comes on reflecting things - its either i know immediately or i dont and my head becomes completely void.