/lit/ - Literature

Do you wear any accessories? I only wear a cross necklace.

I met a girl who looked like picrel but was thiccer and with huge milkers. I got so horny I felt like a volcano. Then she said she had a bf.
That's really sad. Why is there no beautiful girl who isn't already taken.

>>18233728
No accessories, just clothing

>>18233719
good pic, op. finally it is something not related to kpop and animus.

>Suddenly my ass is fuller than it used to be
>There's a black man hanging over me
>This B-B-C came suddenly

>>18233733
chill these are incel thoughts, always know your worth son, u can be better then this. never chase a bitch, make yourself interesting enough so the birch chases u. and even if she don't, at least I have some self respect. the bitch is this imma pray for her! https://youtu.be/JaWkB512o6U

>>18233736
Agreed, refreshing.

>>18233711
>>18233716
they honestly seem like extremely maladjusted people if their first reaction is 'YOU DID THIS TO ME'
surely a healthy person would appreciate any pain that came from physical activity, did they not have parents to teach them that or something?
if they're only acquaintances you should avoid them and exclude them from your life, if any of them are you friends you should have a serious talk with them

>>18233733
chill these are incel thoughts, always know your worth son, u can be better then this. never chase a bitch, make yourself interesting enough so the birch chases u. and even if she don't, at least I have some self respect. the bitch is thicc this imma pray for her! https://youtu.be/JaWkB512o6U

>>18233734
No clothing, just body

>>18233728
I tried wearing accessories like simple necklace or rings but it seems like my body doesnt tolerate metals.

>>18233719
Is it braver to die by your own accord or to accept death from a third party?

>>18233789
Isn't the latter by your own accord too if you accept it?

bump

>>18233719
I was thinking about the time at the beginning of eighth grade where my progressive English teacher was going around asking everybody's favorite authors. She then turns to me.
>And anon, what about you?
Too zoned out to switch out of retard mode, I respond
>Julius Evola.

>>18233812
What happened? As an eight grader you always have the excuse that you're a kid

What do you guys do for work?

The world is infested with pornography. This thing seems to be one of the major factors of the homogenous baseness of the current western society.

>>18233825
research

American literature is dead, I think. Yes, I know that some of the world’s foremost novelists through the end of the 20th century into the 21st have been American, but after this there won’t be anything really special. The culture is just hostile to it and it’s grown too perverse and proletarian to actually foster any sort of romantic vision of life and culture. Books will still get published for graduates of master’s programs in the Northeast to continue to traffick in but beyond that, nothing truly organic will grow out of this soil anymore.

If you have a good GPU and you're not mining crypto, why not? I'm making $6.50 a day now doing absolutely nothing

>>18233824
The class didn't pick up. About 90% of them couldn't be fucked to pick up the picture books we were supposed to analyze the year before.
As for the teacher, she just gave me a blank stare for no longer than three seconds the proceeded to turn the other way as if nothing happened. It never got brought up again. We remained decently polite to each other though she was never keen to have a conversation about what I did after school or how my weekend went as she would with the other children. I suspect that event to be the cause of my below-average grades that year. I'm complaining. Shit could have gotten a lot harrier had she decided to take it to heart.

>>18233789
Self-sarcifice is the top

>>18233882
>I'm complaining
Meant to say
>I'm not complaining

>>18233868
Currently have a laptop with a 1660ti. I don't use my computer much but I can't stand the noise of the fan when it mines crypto. It's very annoying.

>>18233825
neet who fucked up any chance at getting a decent paying job due to too big of a gap.

>>18233882
Maybe she didn't know much about him. I'm pretty sure my eight grade teacher didn't know Evola. If you had said Hitler on the other hand..

came across this song today and I think it's pretty much a /lit/-song so I'm sharing it with you, stay positive https://youtu.be/sJDR5wi-NYM

I ruined my life with iron pills, they punctured my stomach and caused me to go temporarily insane. Now I'm just depressed.

Planning on writing about it sometime soon.

>>18233762
I’ve already been trying to not see them or have them in my life, problem is the connection between most of the group complaining is a really good friend of mine, who was one of the only ones to not complain and genuinely trying to learn to get better. He’s a great person but the people that often get added into our plans I can’t say I’m a fan of

>>18233882
>>18233812
No one knows Evola. He is a /lit/ zoomer meme.

>>18233906
Could be the case though she was fairly well educated. I was a pretty autistic kid known to be very quiet and pitiable.

>>18233762
>>18233916
And I may have been a bit over the top in my explanations I’m not getting cursed at our billed hospital fees or anything like that, just seemingly back handed statements that don’t directly place blame on me but are looking for an apology

>>18233782
Cheap filler metals like nickel are often irritating to the skin, personally as long as a chain was a metal like silver or gold then my skin was normally all right. Anytime I used something I wasn’t sure if I would get real itchy.

>>18233907
Brothers here I stand
Spread my wings and take command
The sky he justly planned
The boy become a man
After all this time
I tell myself that I'm
Not just wasting time
Oh you know I'm not that way inclined
Brothers if you hear
Raise your flags and make it clear
There is more to fear
If we wait for another year
After all this time
I tell-a (repeat) myself that I'm
Just passing through time
After all this time
I tell myself that I'm
Not just wasting time
Oh you know I'm not that way inclined
Brothers fight or fall
It's man for man and one for all
No more can we crawl
Brothers, brothers hear the call
After all this time
I tell myself that I'm
Not just wasting time
Oh you know I'm not that way inclined
Brother brother
Brother brother
Brother fight or fall
It's man for man and one for all
Brother brother
Brother brother
What you want?
We gotta fight for one another!

another /lit/-song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpvPcAhM0n4&list=LL

We will be strong, We will be strong
I know we have the strength to carry on
We have the strength
I know my rights from wrong
I know you've lost I've won
We will be STRONGERRRRR
We will be strong
And getting stronger every day
Believe me when I say it
There is no other way to convey it

No other way you clown

Can't go around calling any song you enjoy a /lit/ song.
This is a /lit/ album.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xw5AiRVqfqk

>>18233719

>25
>still get pimples all the time eventhough i use facewash and moisturizer

>>18234081
Might be a diet problem.

>>18234081
It could be the face wash and moisturizer giving you pimples. If I don’t touch my face, I get no pimples. If I do, I get pimples. I’ve had to refine and refine the products I use to find one that kept it to a minimum. Basically, that’s Dove sensitive skin soap bars to wash my face and this moisturizer called SebaMed with Urea. Anything else will give me acne.

Washing my pillow regularly and not going to bed with stuff in my hair also helped.

>>18233719
I wish we lived in a society with ZERO safety nets and social programs
because no one would be poor so we wouldn't need them

>>18234081
Diet, I’ve also felt some moisturizers and anti acne products straight up give me more acne then if I didn’t use them at all

The will to power is a cope.

>>18234184
no it's not, I'm 300

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWUg1fgYPiE

>>18233847
Why don't you write a masterpiece?
>b-but the industry is against me
Publish yourself, fag

>>18234184
Correct

>>18234209

>>18234197
How do you cope

>>18234224

>>18233913
You mean iron supplements

Can’t take this job anymore but I need money. To die is the only exit I guess.

>>18234251
There is no bigger evil in this world than work

I had a dream where i saw a cat who had his belly cut out and you could see his organs but there was no blood. Then he just sat down into deeper puddle and i could only see his ears above the surface.

>>18234281
Well what choice do I have? This job and all jobs I’ve ever had are mental torture. I want to murder my boss most days. I feel like my life is genuinely worthless.

>>18234293
There is no escape but death, we were put on this Earth to suffer.

bitch farted in my coffee, call that shit a brappuccino

>>18234313
Well, I’m not really interested in continuing that. If this is my life, I would rather just stop here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSWXlBaDmdo

here is the cure for your depression

Im so excited bros. Im finally getting the first critique today. Ive been checking the shipping every hour. Oh god I hope I'm smart enough to understand it

>>18234362
You better put at least a few months aside

>>18234368
I have 3 months of free time until the fall semester starts

>>18234355
Didn’t work even a little bit

If you shoot me, I will die with you still not knowing what is on my mind.


I win.

>>18234487
But you will be dead. Is this a fair trade?

>>18233733
>like picrel but was thiccer and with huge milkers
so... she was fat?

>>18234505
>so... she was fat?

ewwww

>>18234505
>>18234521
Not fat, thicc

>>18234554
She can't be thicker than the pic you posted, then she will be fat.

>>18234558
Low T detected.

>>18234565
Chubby chaser

>>18234565
American?

>>18234568
>>18234572
No and no

>>18233719
In less than a year I will achieve wizard status.

It worries me how little I care about it itself. Somewhat paradoxically, it does worry me because how much I feel I should fit more into social standards, and if I'm not, I'm a monster.

>>18234081
Consult a dermatologist. Some people will get pimples often regardless of their age, unless treated.
Unless it feels like a problem, let it be. Otherwise a treatment with benzoyl peroxide + adapalene should work for most skins, clearing the skin from 1 to 2 months (be aware that the acne can become worse for a while before this period).

>>18234577
The first one is yes based on what you described.

>>18234585
Post image of a woman you'd consider fat

I cant remember character names in books :(

>>18233719
Where do I even go to read good web novels?

I know this isn’t a writing-specific question but some of you guys write web novels so I know you’ll know.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUDujr4nRmY

comfy live mix from italy

People shit on American education often and it's partially deserved, but knowing once I graduate this degree will be useful basically everywhere on the planet feels great

>>18234558
Her body was akin to picrel, except with bigger tits and hips

>>18234899
So... fat? How on earth is this anything but fat?

>>18234908
Dude are you gay? This was the golden standard of fecundity for millennia until the last handful of decades when pedo Jews who own the media Pavlov'd you to like anorexic women

>>18234833
Just wait until you find out it’s not even useful in America.

If I could pretend that the whole world were you, I would love without limits. I would be Love itself, living in Heaven created every moment. But it is not so: they say to me, you are cold. And I am cold. But your fire never fails to warm me. Your eyes awaken the glow of my own eyes, your lips pour blood into my lips, your body gives me strength throughout. My love is like the wind, coming and going, but you move me to Uranus, where the winds never stop. What a miracle that is your existence, and that I should know you and love you, and be loved by you.

>>18234967
Take your meds

>>18234951
Sure, man. You are just into fatties.

>>18234958
It's a bachelor's in computer engineering, it should be pretty useful.
Although what I'm looking at now is the chance of getting hired as a new graduate in Japan in the Spring of '23. Considering I'd not only have to work on my work portfolio but get my Japanese up to a level where I can easily talk with natives and do business, it sounds pretty hard. I can communicate in writing pretty easily but the language doesn't stick in my head for some reason and I sound like a child when I talk. Not sure how to fix that but I need to. Then I'll be able to live overseas

>>18233770
Yeah, I'm trying to get buddhapilled in regards to vixens, but it's vexing. I see booba and my monke brain gets flooded with intense chemicals

>>18235037
Nah

>>18235045
It will be more useful than other degrees relatively speaking and that’s it.

Are movies dead?

>>18235134
Cinemas yes, torrents no

>>18234565
ok coomer

>>18235180
I don't even watch porn

To the theme of lamb chops song that never ends...
Ahem.
It's the art that never ends. It goes on and on my friend. Some people started writing not knowing what it was, and now they'll write forever just because!
(Repeat until the waking world ends.)

>>18233728
I wear a watch

>>18234495
It's not important that I win, as long as you lose.

>>18235114
average salary for the degree in the states is 85k
that's pretty good desu

>>18234908
>...
leddit is thataway

>>18233719
I have done nothing for 4 month because of depression and I am currently flunking out of college. I am lying to my parents and saying that I am working on my finals while deadlines are already way past due. I have spoken to some of my friends after going no contact but it only helps to distract me from my problems, not fix them. I have been going to bed hoping I would not wake up every night for a while now. I can't face my parents, I can't face my problems I am a weak piece of shit.

this has been my best year so far

My interactions, on a daily basis, are the that of being surrounded by the most tedious, vain, and overall obnoxious people imaginable.
Their conversations consist of talking what they're going to buy next, who's dating or who's married to who, them showing things from their social media, or other superfluous chatter with no meaninful anecdotes.
Everyday.
Everyday single day.
Their futile conversations are starting to wear on me; and I know not what to do.

>>18233719
Am I that much of a basic bitch?

When someone tells me about his favorite books and throws in the Republic, I immediately know that he isn't really interested in philosophy. He just read it because he thought it'd give him an advantage when arguing about politics on twitter or reddit.
The Republic is absolutely interesting but there's no way it's every college pleb's favorite work of Plato. What about Euthydemus, Phaedo, Gorgias, even Ion. Never mind the later dialogues.
The only reason the republic is always in the spotlight is because everyone's a political commentator nowadays and are under the impression that politics is the deciding factor on how happy their life can be.

Me right now

>feeling a little sick and under the weather
>make myself some noodles and eat
>feel a lot better not like I'm about to crash
>now I can't fall asleep
God fucking dammit. Why?

What's this pose called?

I am so tired of everything. I'm tired of the taste of alcohol and I'm tired of talking. I don't like the taste of things anymore and I don't care what I eat. I don't listen to anything and I don't watch anything. I don't feel like going out. I cannot enjoy anything that tells me to have empathy for people or expects me to find hope or feel enthusiasm for life, I've lost it all. I can only think that it's a lie. I've lost all faith in everything. I have tried every desperate route and I couldn't convince myself to believe in things I know to be false. Everything looks like a sad excuse to keep on living. Nature is horrible. I've seen the head of a sparrow yesterday, on the asphalt. It was looking at nothing. A few yards later I've found a wing. I didn't want to see that sparrow but it was there because during the night or during the day when I wasn't looking this violence happened, like a trillion other murders in this uncaring Hell that I live in. All that saves me is that I can only see what's in front of me and that which I see is already too bleak to endure. I don't have a hope of saving this place like I cannot hope to clean the dirty grains of sand in the ocean. I really just want to leave. I'm patiently waiting for things to allow me to leave in peace but it's getting unbearable. I am forgetting about the things I do to keep my mind occupied and while I walk or drive or talk to the cashier or take out the trash I'm only thinking about death.

>>18233719
I'm building a house and everytime I go over to paint or mow the property or do some shit, I eat a bunch of edibles before hand it and it is such a blast. Put on some fiction audio book and go on a ride.

>>18233825
I am a mental health therapist.

>>18233868
>6.50 a day
There is no way.

Im starting to realize that im still neeting at parents place not because im terribly depressed or anxious but rather im afraid to get on 9-5 schedule and truly see how much boring life becomes. Also the loss of attention from them.

Anyone ever visited white nationalist sites? Like saidit or consumeproduct.win?
It's fucking sad. It's like /pol/, but without the irony and self-mockery. These people are absolutely obsessed with Jews and niggers and can't think about anything else.

>>18234143
So what about physical injuries people suffer while on the job?

>>18235071
Shes fat man, look at that stomach it’s literally bulging out, are you trying to deny she’s not fat?

You can be into whatever you want, but you cannot deny reality that woman is fat, I guarentee shes at least 200+ lbs if she’s 5’8” or taller

>>18235274
Average salary doesn’t mean anything

>>18235847
Then fatness is a good thing.

>>18235865
If you’re attracted to bigger women that is literally perfectly fine my man, please continue

>>18235869
Bigger women are based

>>18233719
>tfw browsing /lit/ in the middle of a work meeting
I love working from home

>>18235812
>saidit
it's a white nationalist site? I went there years ago because I hated reddit but it was literally too dead for me to figure out what it was about
I assume it's because I didn't visit the political subs

>>18235878
A Chad amongst incels

>>18235890
There are a few wn subs there I think

>Met girl i thought could be gf material
>Very friendly, pretty attractive and has a Master's degree
>Kinda weird beliefs but nothing too out of the ordinary (she believes dragons existed, but she calls them "dynosaurs")
>Ask her what her favorite book is
>She actually says she likes John Green
Do i abort or is there any hope

>>18235909
She sounds pretty good actually

stop watching youtube was the best decision

>>18235909
Tell her your deepest fantasies if she is game keep her if not move on.

>>18235909
Thats... concerning. Be prepared for weird takes to be commonplace but if she's cute and you work well as a team it can still work out.

If you learn that she never changes her mind on things consider that a red flag.

>>18235812
American Renaissence is pretty good.
t. not american
>>18235909
Just... don't talk about books together

Has anyone ever met a tattooed woman who wasn't unattractive?

i hate my identity

>>18235909
>has a master's degree
mental illness confirmed. Next with prejudice.

>>18235979
>American Renaissence is pretty good
I like Amren and a couple of other similar sites, and I still hold anti-immigration, etc. views, but I'm not active on any of such forums like consumeproduct anymore. The community is full of vitriol and retardation.

>>18235909
Dinosaurs were real, though

>>18236005

>>18235982
Last year I saw a really hot tattoo chick at the beach. Pale skin, big bouncy boobs, fit belly, long legs, nice jiggly ass, body covered in dapples of small black scribblings here and there. Instantly made me hard. But that's the only one.

>>18235941
There's not much on it these days anyway

>>18235982
My last gf had tattoos and was fairly attractive

>>18235941
I’m addicted to it desu

>>18235909
I do agree with her. I've always thought dinos were just the dragons of old passed on through ancient oral tradition until we got to things like Beowulf and such that it got romanticized.
God. A woman that could mix her fantasy world with mine, and if she was reasonably petite I'd reach for that one.
The only thing I worry about is the masters degree. She probably has a metric ton of debt. Money breaks relationships.
If she's a hard worker though then it might work.

>>18233812
What eight grader reads Evola. This sounds made up and cringe.

I've been on a lot of speed and a alcohol over the past few years. I pulled so much speed that I reached my personal limit. Partying all night at techno parties and continued partying with people the next day (after-party), consuming speed and drinking beer until it was no longer possible, until I was alone and was no longer fully responsive. And then I jerked myself off for 8-9 hours to some nasty porn I could find, edging the whole time until I came. The feeling was indescribable, it was easy 15 times better than just jerking off sober. You feel like a beast, you don't think of anything else but porn, like in a megalomania. It's a supernaturally good feeling, like cheating.

The problem is, I think I got brain damage from it. I've been clean for 2 years but I still feel the effects. Somewhere in my brain I have something that pulls me down every day and causes dark circles under my eyes, an indescribable sadness that I just can't interpret. Maybe a neural defect or something. I notice it on my face too, it looks unhealthy, although I have a relatively healthy lifestyle compared to before. My face is somehow thinner, I rarely look in the mirror and see a normal, balanced face. As soon as I try to exercise, it starts to thin and look like shit again. It's a weakness that makes me angry and I'm fighting it more and more now and I'm going to get rid of this shit. I will definitely prevail. Something went wrong in my brain, but I'm still not giving up. I want to look healthy and good, I want to be happy and finally overcome this fucking weakness and surpass myself. I know that I'm stronger then this and I've been trough so much shit. I'm sick and fucking tired of this tired bullshit face in the mirror. That's not me. In 2 years I will turn 30.

I have never heard anyone talk about it, not on the internet and not in real life, wtf.

>>18236097
This is going to sound pedantic as fuck but the YouTube algorithm is not made for actually curious people. If you want to find good and NOVEL content your not used to seeing, you must find some 3rd party means of content discovery or curation.

>>18236185
Who do you think keeps making Evola threads on here?

>>18236205
Me

>>18236185
I think only eight graders read Evola.

I came absolute buckets before I went to bed last night, then I proceeded to have 3 wet dreams all but one of them involving family members. I want to nofap but I feel like I just have to much t or something inside me right now.

What lies beyond the stygian veil of death? The monumental face of God? Or nothing?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRGzLl1DTqo

>>18236233
Thats a lot of cum. Do you actively think about your family when you cum or are those thoughts invasive?

>>18236003
Yes, I agree. It's one of the reasons I've stopped going on /pol/ completely. It was fun to get "redpilled", but there are no actual discussions on anything in particular.
Nowadays, I resort myself to books and some discussions on /lit/ to maintain my sanity. I don't know a single person who thinks on the same lines as me.

>>18236201
Nobody talks about this shit, this is the worst shit you can get. By the way, after consuming speed the anxiety level goes above 9000. The random issues I see on most of the threads are a joke compared to this shit. People complain about life but their worst problem is laziness and brainfog, shit! People, pull yourself together and just think 1 time. The funny thing is that a lot of people think that because they're so young, they can still waste so much time. But believe me, you'll be 28 faster than you think.

Use the time and do something that you really enjoy. Luckily I'm a skateboarder, so at least I have something in life to be happy about in this shithole.

Why do we dream of people who were close to us so often after they die?

>>18236261
No not when I'm conscious. It happens almost exclusively in dreams. In my dream I had a Russian sex slave that I could attach and detach from my wall at will, I had sex with her and came and woke up. Then later my grandma gave me head and I came and woke up. Then I had sex with my mom in the shower and I came a little bit and woke up. This was after masturbating and cumming twice before I went to sleep.

>>18233719
I'm gay.

no just kidding

>>18236292
thanks for the reminder to never do speed or hard drugs. Shrooms was a wild enough of a ride for this guy.
>>18236319
I would honestly suggest you get professional help, this is not normal and you shouldn't have to deal with these types of invasive thoughts. If this is irregular I would honestly be candid with a therapist or a psychiatrist in case if its a tell-tale chemical imbalance, or god forbid a tumor.

>>18236315
Guilt over things left unresolved.

>>18236292
>By the way, after consuming speed, the anxiety level rises above 9000.

When you wake up the next day. There is also a nutritional deficiency behind the whole story. If you don't eat properly, every living being gets anxiety, it's a natural effect.

So stop crying like this guy here: >>18235743

>I don't like the taste of things anymore and I don't care what I eat.

Don't listen to this shit.
EAT! EAT UNTIL YOU CANNOT MORE! (healthy things and no sweets) And then do a few pushups and don't be a pussy.

>>18233868
How exactly

>>18236368
Thanks for quoting me for no reason at all, I hope you choke on an olive anon

>>18236005
>Dude there were like giant lizards that could eat an elephant whole and they had like really tiny front arms and also they had feathers, the scientists say so
uhuh

>>18236342
I have OCD and I've dealt with invasive thoughts all my life. It really sucks but their's honestly nothing I can do except live and accept it. I've never gone to therapy but my sister and father have because they've both actually been diagnosed (it runs in the family) and the meds have never helped them at all.

>>18236402
>Thanks for quoting me for no reason at all, I hope you choke on an olive anon
>I don't care what I eat
>I don't listen to anything and I don't watch anything
>I don't feel like going out
>I've lost it all
>Nature is horrible
>I'm only thinking about death

this is your wakeup call
I don't judge u, I'm sending a positive thought into the air

You know I was thinking about books like this. (Your resident death writer also performs funeral rites for readerlink books that aren't bought. Crazy I know.)
People that do illustrations like this amaze me. They're so detailed yet it's still basically a coloring book.
It's neat.

>>18235660
Republic isn't a political commentary

why did god made me a manlet?

>>18236537
>why did God

God didn't do anything. Years of genetic evolution did. If you believe in God I'd be more worried about that than being a manlet.

>>18236554
*tip*

>>18236554

>>18236554
Nobody asked you

>>18233733
the search for a boyfriend-free girl that anon can turn into his sweet-heart continues... IN LOVE QUEST, COMING THIS SUMMER

Vollmann is either the most real author living or one of the biggest frauds. His actual writing is underwhelming to be honest but I find I’m still pretty interested in him as an author.

>>18236558
Go fuck yourself

>>18236588
Real talk

>>18236593
Ok and? This is a forum not whatever 'speak when spoken to' broken ass home you grew up in.

please fucking do...

what happens after we die?

>>18236760
Yes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AU8GQM4zRjM

I'm ethnically Syrian but I was born and raised in Germany. My Arab ancestry mixed with my German upbringing makes me feel alien all the time.
I have naturally and subconsciously distanced myself from everything related to my arabic side growing up. I used to be quite fluent in Arabic when I was a little kid but that was mostly because I was regularly talking to children of other Arab families. I used to regularly visit my relatives in Syria before the war in 2011. I loved drinking traditional mate and eating hot salted corn on the cob. Playing with the kids at the parking lot. Going to the corner store that was run by an old sweet lady on a wheelchair. Smelling the gas of motor bikes passing by. Buying toy guns and pretending to be in a war, not realizing that the inevitable was soon to come, this time for real.
My brothers and I used to fight over who gets to sleep on the king sized bed. My frens, believe me when I tell you that it was the comfiest bed to ever rest my little preadolescent body on. Oh how I slept like an angel next to my grandma.
My grandpa was a high school teacher for philosophy. I remember walking into his room and being overwhelmed by his massive shelves every single time. I did not dare laying a finger upon those books. He was kind of reserved, didn't initiate conversations, much like me. In fact after his death two years ago my mom kept telling me how much I remind her of him. How he too had long hair, a quiet character and a determination to pursue knowledge and wisdom through philosophy and religion. As a muslim she's proud of the fact that despite reading all of these philosophy books my grandpa still "returned" to Islam. She hopes that one day I'll follow his path and leave my atheism behind. That I'm not so sure of.
All of those things plus the fact that the terror in the middle east is unlikely to come to an end makes me feel ashamed for being so withdrawn from Arab culture, despite all of its negative aspects. Communicating with my mom is hard because my Arabic is horrible, I keep stuttering and forgetting so many words. Thankfully her German is ok so I can resort to that when needed, but talking to relatives whose German sucks is a nightmare. Makes me feel so guilty, especially because all of my siblings speak it so much better.

>>18236628
I think he's cool and want to hang out with him. He has one of those vast encyclopedic autistic database minds and knows a ton about very obscure and particular subjects. I think it's kinda funny how much of a gun nut he is too.

It's the ides of August. Literary life across the country slows to a halfhearted crawl. But in Venice, Calif., in the old City Hall built in 1907, writers in Beyond Baroque's Reading Series continue to push the limits of literature.

>The Reading Series hosts 80 authors a year. On a recent muggy Friday night we went out to hear a double bill: Darius James and William Vollmann, two brave new authors. Vollmann, whose most recent books are "Fathers and Crows" and "An Afghanistan Picture Show, or, How I Saved the World," has gotten a lot of mainstream praise in the publishing world, and has been compared to Pynchon and Burroughs.

>He looks, however, like someone who just walked off the pages of Soldier of Fortune magazine. It wasn't the plaid shirt or the farmer's hat that said "butterfly." It was the metal case that looked as though it once held a high-school clarinet. From it, Vollmann unpacked a small revolver, scanning the audience with his computer-programmer eyes. To punctuate the reading, Vollmann would point the gun at the ceiling and fire. Blanks, but in a black room rapidly filling with smoke and 85 degrees Fahrenheit, who can be sure? By the third shot, anxiety made it impossible to concentrate on the story Vollmann was reading. (For the record, it was about the Iroquois, and it contained several graphic descriptions of torture.)

>>18236858
Neat

>>18236873
So much of Vollmann appears to me as shtick though. It’s almost like he’s trying purposely to be different and as a result, isn’t actually different. You know what I mean? He’s also one of those people who people say things about and who says things about himself and his books that make me just scratch my and head and think “wtf are you talking about?” So you read his fiction? Is there anything you really like?

Single biggest regret is not starting writing at a younger age.

Anyone know some good resources that summarize the weirder bits of english grammar for those who are sometimes not completely sure how something should be written? I'm mainly thinking of verb tenses and comma usage.

>>18236905
Same

>>18236923
unironically use grammarly or type the stuff you're not sure of as you go

>>18236898
That might just be explainable in terms of his palpable autism. Autistics don't understand how to draw the attention of others by matching their behavior to other's desires and expectations. Instead, they behave in often jarring or inappropriate ways.

I admire how he isn't afraid to go out and get his hands dirty with fieldwork. He's gone to full blown war zones to write about them, has gone to Fukushima Japan after the nuclear accident to write about it ,goes out there and involves himself often in dangerous or uncontrolled situations. I rate his nonfiction more highly for this reason, and his style suits it better. I was never attached to his often longwinded and affected fiction works.

It's clear he isn't much of a feeler, which limits his fiction. And he isn't too much of a thinker, although he certainly has high points and makes interesting observations. He's more like a human camera and a computer that takes in and processes vast amounts of information and outputs an adequate if not inspired result.

I don't meant to disparage him by calling him autistic btw. I'm just calling it for what it is. Like recognizes like.

>>18234581
>adapalene
Thanks for recommending that one, different anon here. BPO has worked well for me, not perfectly but it minimzed my acne to an acceptable minimum. The bleaching effect is annoying though. I haven't heard of Adapalene, just checked it out and will talk with my Dermatologist about it, I have to visit him either way. Apparently it's working a bit better than BPO and in combination with BPO even better, I will see.

>>18236955
I guess what I’m referring to when I talk about his shtick is his whole cross dressing thing and several interviews I’ve seen with him where he talks about erotic death. To me, it just really feels like he’s doing this weird (and phony) emulation of certain things he cites as influences (even though those “influences” aren’t remotely detectable in his writing). I’m not in his head so I shouldn’t be so quick to judge I guess but that’s just how it comes off to me. It appears very forced.

>>18236858
I feel guilty like you, except I still live in the Middle East. I concluded that my family's attachment to Islam and the worst part of Arabic culture is something I shouldn't separate from them, if that makes sense. They are evil for making me feel alienated and guilty and still prioritizing their beliefs.

I am still close to some family members who are quite liberal and open about stuff.

>>18235781
https://ethermine.org/miners/0xA4b5747ebeB34f6da851F5F4373572892A3D9C12/dashboard
These are my stats
Multiply the daily estimated earnings by the current value of Ethereum to get projected daily income
In reality the daily/weekly/monthly estimates are lowballing it, I started mining exactly 24 hours ago, and despite taking an hour and a half break to play games, I got 0.00172 ETH when the current estimate says 0.00136. Multiply 0.00172 by the value of ETH ($3631), and I've made $6.25 in one day. Keep in mind that the market fluctuates a lot and it just fell, so as it rises back up, what you mine is worth more and more by relation. When I started last night, ETH was at $3992, which would give a value of $6.87. And this is something that happens every day. $6.87 x 30 is $206. As ETH becomes more valuable, what you already own is worth more too.

In other words if you can mine crypto right now and you're not, you should have a good reason, because this is a literal money printer.

>>18237059
Forgot to mention I have only a single RTX 2060 doing this, but it will still pay itself off completely at this rate after two months

I am mogged by most teenage girls.

>>18236376
You can mine a bunch of stuff but I chose ETH since it has really good optics right now (but it requires at least 4 GB RAM to mine). First you need a wallet for the coin you want to mine, so if you're doing ETH then something like Metamask is good. Then just go here https://ethermine.org/start and download the right program corresponding to your PC build, and find the .bat file that launches the mining app (like ETH-ethermine) and change the wallet address that starts with 0x to your wallet address, then launch the .bat and that's all it takes. If it crashes then your PC might not be strong enough. The way to mine other coins is different but ETH is definitely one of the best choices right now

>>18237059
where can you learn such things? is that something that many know and do? I mean 6$ a day is 6 fucking dollar a day.
I have an AMD Radeon R7 M260 from my shitty laptop.

My outlook on life changes with the direction of the wind. One minute I am reading a book or working on something for work and feel a warm fuzzy feeling inside. I feel in awe at the beauty of life. An hour passes and I hate everything, don’t want to to talk to anyone, and want to punch a hole in the wall.

>>18237016
I don't care about any of that, it's his writing which he is known for. Without it he'd be just another weirdo. I find it amusing that he was on a government watchlist once, that's a great essay by him, "Life As A Terrorist."

Admittedly it's a little different because he does this gonzo journalism stuff which sets him apart, but he does not invest his own personality into his stories and overwhelm them with it. He has an analytical, detached frame of mind.

I have spent the past 2 weeks hopelessly paranoid that I spread covid to my coworkers. But I've done the math and it no longer seems likely.

>>18237187
u caught the coof and went to work?

god these vaccine nags are insufferable

>>18237187
lol just spread it who cares
its part of the fun

>>18237179
Yeah, they try ought he might’ve been the unabomber, right? It’s kind of funny because he has this web of connections with people who are often discussed here and yet nobody talks about him. I guess his books are a little inaccessible for the average user here. I don’t know how you can say he doesn’t invest his personality into his stories. It seems to me You Bright Risen Angels is exactly that and his essays on Noh are more of an indulgence of the aspects I already mentioned than a cool, detached analysis.

>>18237230
people used to spam vollmann all the time, newguy

>>18237230
He would appeal to the typical channer weirdo had they the attention spans to slog through his massive tomes.

And it depends what works you reference. He's written *quite* a lot. Most of the time I find he is an observer reporting in on what he sees. Over time he's inserted himself more and some of it has even taken on an autobiographical tint. Specifically the essay I just mentioned.

Take a look at Rising Up and Rising Down, one of my personal favorites, and you'll see what I mean.

>>18237140
I had a friend get me into it. There are calculators online to see how much money you can make per day/week/whatever based on your specs if you search. Doing it with a laptop will be tough but you'll still be able to make a couple bucks probably, it might not be ETH though. Just look around and see what you can do, it's free money after all.

>>18237140
i doubt ur gonna make much on a mobile gpu

>>18233868
Because not only do I not know anything about crypto, but I don’t know anything about computers. I don’t even know what a GPU is.

>>18235982
if you live in a college/university town or a "cool" area of a larger city you will see them all the time, nonstop. unfortunately they also are likely quite mentally unstable. that kind of girl is my type however usually we are totally unsuited for each other besides flirting which is sad

This time last year I was suffering from the worst bout of depression yet, self hatred and suicide were the only thoughts I had. It's amazing how much things can change in just one year. My day to day life has hardly changed, other than the fact that I've finally graduated from university. But in terms of my mindset, I feel as though I'm an entirely different person today than I was this time last year.
I'm happy. Not in an elated sort of way. More so content. I'm sure of myself, I dont obsess over my imperfections, and I'm not preoccupied with my future happiness.

>>18236905
>>18236925
How old are you folks now?

>>18236905
>>18236925
>>18237477
and how old were you when you started writing?

>>18236315
My friend ended her life two and a half years ago and I still have dreams about her every month or two. We were close growing up, but near her death I hardly saw her. Shortly after her death she would appear in my dreams approaching me with a really sad expression. I could see she wanted to tell me something but couldn't. She would hardly utter a word. More recently when she appears in my dreams shes more of the girl I remembered hanging out with when we were kids. I miss her.

It's hard to reconcile how otherwise towering geniuses such as Francis Galton and Ronald Fischer who were right about everything else still held racist beliefs about the innate differences between races.

This treads into highly politically incorrect territory , but it's reasonable to wonder why these figures are highly regarded in all their other accomplishments and their work is thought to maintain a high degree of truth, yet this one point of deviation sets them apart and smudges their otherwise spotless records.One also has to wonder why James Watson, perhaps the world's foremost geneticist, claimed that there was a link between heritable intelligence and race. Is it really because he's just a crotchety old racist white man? Men as accomplished and intelligent as him have no interest being racist in the vehement aggravated sense.

Let me make it clear I do not support discrimination, and the definition of intelligence is not even well founded in the first place and may carry some cultural bias in how it has been conventionally formulated. But wouldn't it be better if we were approaching these issues with an open mind, evaluating all hypotheses, and therefore deal with reality rather than some idealized moral projection of it ?

Whatever the reality is, it is what it is, not what we want it to be, and so the facts as they are in themselves will always work to spite a false ideology that tries to speak over them.

>The snap of a twig drew Hress’s attention back to the shack. He whipped around, readying himself for a fight. A young woman emerged from the forestation ahead on the other side of the campfire holding a bundle of sticks. She was about Hress’s height, unusually tall for a woman, with a head of shiny smooth ginger hair which was tied in a ponytail. She was dressed in a sentry uniform, which also fit her tightly and reached only her shins.

>At odds with her symmetrical face, button nose, and sharp hazel eyes, she had a vaguely masculine jawline. Her body was broad and she looked strong, as if she were no stranger to dedicated physical exercise. It was sculpted to an athleticism Hress had never seen on a woman.

An example from Wish Mountain of introducing a character's appearance. I don't often do it, but when I do it is important.

>>18237520
>towering geniuses such as Francis Galton and Ronald Fischer who were right about everything else still held racist beliefs
check out william shockley

>>18237538
That's how you should start books. Character wakes up and goes through the morning routine, looking in the mirror, eating breakfast (you have to let the audience know what they like for breakfast).
From then on whenever I introduce a new character I always have them wake up and then study themselves in the mirror. If something happens during the course of the story I have them take a nap and then get some more mirror time. You may not like it, but that's how professional authors do it, so that's how I do it.

>>18237520
Ok this is bait, right? I get it, it is a parody of wokeism. Alright good one lad. If not, I do not want to argue with you; if you are this dumb and naive you are this dumb and naive.
I guess you will learn first hand. Learn that not ALL genes are equal.

>Whatever the reality is, it is what it is, not what we want it to be, and so the facts as they are in themselves will always work to spite a false ideology that tries to speak over them.
Say it again but slowly. If you still do not get it, go to Senegal or Liberia. You will see what they meant.

Still have a few things to rework in my ~110k fantasy novel. A few scenes to rewrite, some story considerations to figure out, but it's so close to being done. I ran into some problems with the story because it's my first novel and I just dove in discovery style. To make sure I have fewer problems next time, I started filling out an extensive worldbuilding checklist for my next story, which will be a fantasy/Dying Earth story inspired by Stalker/Roadside Picnic. I spent a good 2-3 hours reading about biomes and climate last night, shit is actually fascinating. And very useful if you want to create a believable world.

Anyway, how do I improve my dialogue? I wonder if there are recordings available online of people having candid conversations, I'd like to study something like that.

>>18237520
>Whatever the reality is, it is what it is, not what we want it to be, and so the facts as they are in themselves will always work to spite a false ideology that tries to speak over them.
Leftism is truly a mental illness. I pity you.

>>18234362
Its finally here bros

>>18236201
you sound like you used your youth for LIVING. me, I habitually hide in my room and binge eat to the point of sickness whenever things get stressful. And I'm easily stressed so it happens a lot. It feels like burying myself in the sand, like retreating from the world and wallowing in an easy but sick stupor, drifting in and out of reality napping and gorging until I realize like 2 days have passed.
(I'm only 160-170lbs, fasting and caloric restriction ensure that but also have probably fucked my metabolism and digestion)

I really wish I could've had a phase in life like yours dude. I'm not even real. Feel good for at least having lived a bit, being around others, using youth for what it's for.

I have a bit over $30k in savings. Would it be a bad idea to blow around $10k of that on buying a car with cash rather than financing it?

During a recent Zoom session, my former therapist told me that I had low self esteem and that "positive self affirmation" could help me. He said that I can practice this by standing in front of a mirror and telling myself that "I am likeable", "I am kind", "I am worth it", and other such statements as those. But, I couldn't prevent myself, I impulsively asked him "What if you're Adolf Hitler?" (I don't mean to imply that I dislike or like him, as it's hard to feel strongly about someone that is long dead. Though it is ironic, if we're supposed to hate this man so much, why do we keep him alive in the force of our collective memory, recreating his image and his deeds forever and ever in the imagination? Should we not just erase all trace of him if he was that detestable? Also, his little shenanigans in Russia were instrumental for inspiring Sergei Prokofiev's sonatas, so I can't really hate him as without him I would not have those works) Anyways, he seemed upset afterwards -- he bit his lips and turned beet red, and became very sweaty. A part of me thought he was tugging one out during the session because my statement was purely innocuous and his intense sweatiness was a disporpotionate response.

He also said that my poor social skills could be aided by reading a book on social skills

>>18237587
Why isn’t India’s IQ roughly similar to that of China or Vietnam?

>>18237713
verbose parentheticals are a sign of an insincere windbag.
if you wanna say something, just say it directly: "stumping my therapist with an edgy comment about hitler made me feel above him for a bit"

>>18237747
I asked him impulsively and sincerely. It's only afterward that it became absurd to me, both my response and the mirror thing. Also, the parenthesis are there because they were the first method that came to mind. I'll figure out a better way next tme.

I have a long protruding lump on my left side from lower stomach area all the way through abdominal that's been there for a couple months. I don't know if it's a giant hernia, weird inflamed intestine or a giant tumor. My inguinal lymph nodes have been inflamed for like 2 and a half years. Doctors told me they're probably just stuck like that for no reason, but recently another inguinal lymph node flared up big. I also have bloody noses everyday and random dull aching headaches. Going to doctor soon but I'm pretty worried.

>>18233728
Simple cross, simple wedding band, sometimes a watch but I really don't like watches. I've got some kind of tactile autism or something, always have.

>>18237713
Sounds like a hack to me. Although I do enjoy mirror gazing sometimes, if you stare long enough you start to hallucinate and you can see crazy shit. I usually see my entire head burn my eyeballs disappear and a crazy force field of energy around me. But yeah I'm always paranoid people are beating off on video calls too, probably just some projection though considering I'm very perverted.

>>18237799
Well, I looked up the guy. He worked in LGTBBQ and specializes in "love addiction". Hit me the wrong way after that. Also, same here, my face turns into one of the AI dreepdream things if stare too long in the miirror.

idk rethinking about the situation makes me think I have legit autism or ADD or something. I dropped the dude after that. Apparrently, the better therapists are clinical psychologists and these MFTs are just lesser versions overall

>>18237659
>fasting and caloric restriction ensure that but also have probably fucked my metabolism and digestion

For your own well-being and joyful years, I recommend that you change your diet. Just search online for good recipes, high-protein foods, and buy potatoes, pasta, crumble cheese, and various vegetables you like, such as corn, cucumber, or radish. A couple of apples or other types of fruit. It's not that difficult at all. You can easily make a subway sandwich yourself and top it with tuna and other things.

>And I'm easily stressed so it happens a lot. It feels like burying myself in the sand

Start believing that it doesn't have to be the way it is and maybe take a few new steps that will lead to a less stressful lifestyle.

>I habitually hide in my room

You may enjoy riding a bike or walking in the woods and doing some light exercises that will awaken your mind and get your blood flowing. The main thing is to spend some time outside and listen to the natural sounds of nature. You don't have to be in the city center to go out.

>drifting in and out of reality napping and gorging until I realize like 2 days have passed

I know this condition and it sounds very sleepy, so exercise is a good recommendation that can help you shake off that sleepiness a little.

Gather strength and get stronger day by day. You need to have a little sense of achievement each day to think about. For example, that you were outside and ate something good. This way you will gain more confidence every day. Push-ups and planks are always very helpful, I can recommend them to everyone.

If you make such a life change, take it easy so that you don't end it right away because of the stress. Don't put pressure on, do it little by little. And pay attention to the reflected moments of success.

You just have to personalize all of the tips so that it is your own attitude, your own idea, so that it doesn't feel like an external compulsion (you could stop at any time if you wanted to). It's only for your own good.

I think I can write about it with a clear conscience because I also make sure to be healthy and gradually get better.

>>18233719
My daily writing schedule was derailed completely at the start of April by news of the increased number of attacks on Asians. Being Asian myself, I found myself searching unconsciously for strong, masculine Asian figures to emulate. I found two in MC Jin and China Mac, and as a result ended up really getting into hip hop.
In the time since, I started writing my own rhymes, and making beats- but unfortunately stopped reading for the most part. I tried cracking Melville open again a few weeks ago, but felt a sudden surge of anger over how all the books I'd loved and cherished were penned by whites- that their achievement, mastery, and label of genius were all symptomatic of world made by and for white people, one in which I would always be an outsider. As of late, hip hop has given me a useful outlet for these frustrations (even if a lot of it was off the mark and self-victimizing).
But I'm also realizing, through artists like Nas, the extent to which Western civilization was influenced by Africa through the Egyptians, and the kind of respect that my own blood culture deserves through the homage Wu-Tang pays to it.
I hope I can get back into reading and writing, and keep making hip hop music on the side. I have mostly gotten over my anger, and I want to set sail for my original destination once more.

>>18236628
I definitely don't think he's a fraud, he puts way too much effort into random shit for that and he's not even that well known

Rawr means I love you in dinosaur.
It's creative hours and I'll be damned if I'll be normal.
(More damned than usual anyway.)

>>18238156
pro tip: stop watching the news, it gives you a wrong sense of reality and fucks with your brain

and I have one question: WHERE IN THE HELL DID THE HIP HOP GO?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fo71I_Gtmhs

>>18238192
For me when I'm in the mood for music it's Panic! and the Disco then I go down into the dark goth stuff. I've never once been like oh wow I totally want to listen to rap today after hearing some random blowing it out of their speakers. It's so high class I want to emulate it!
I'm sure it can be done right, but Eminem is the only one I'd really listen to.

>>18238156
>I found myself searching unconsciously for strong, masculine Asian figures

well, here is something to begin with:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udWm20FB0lQ

Thinking of drawing this person for research purpose. I'm being 50% honest.

>>18233728
Sometimes I wear a watch that's it

>>18233733
I'm going to come out and say it: I want to sniff her beautiful Russian brapper.
I want her to sit on my face and fart.

>>18238268
What would you even learn

Scrolling by this thread looking for something to read

>>18238313
Read Anna Karenina

>>18238307
eewww

>>18238268
I've got you covered my friend. It sated my artistic urge. Behold!
I shook the pen back and forth for a long time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntrbCuZrNro

Art and religion are the only good things humans created, their only saving grace,
Fuck everything else.

>>18238215
Eminem is great for sure. I think his old stuff is downright amazing. Just Don’t Give a Fuck and Low, Down, Dirty have been on repeat for me this past week. As for other hip hop maybe try some Nas’ Illmatic?— the subject matter might not be relatable (certainly isn’t for me) but you may find the verbal prowess impressive. Rap music has this mix of verbal delivery, aggression, unabashed confidence that I feel like I’ve been lacking in my life. And yeah, you’re right about the news, I don’t plan on paying attention to that anymore—too much unnecessary negativity.

>>18238233
Based

>>18238192
Damn this is some OG shit, I appreciate the recommendation.

>>18238343
I get the art, but why religion? What redeeming qualities does religion have?

I'm not your friend
Or anything, damn
You think that you're the man
I think, therefore, I am

>>18238192
>freestyle fellowship

hell ya dude u remember this shit?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhHLZcqM9HM

>>18238439
If someone was like, right here in the room with me I'd put it on, but I'm too much of a booknerd to seek it out on my own free will. I'm going to bed in a little less than 2 hours so I should probably get some writing done tonight.
News is fine, but people let it run their life. It should be an accentuation not a full course meal for the mind.
Time to abscond and all that jazz.

I just had a dream where I got scammed out my ass. Lost $1000 in said dream. Of all things, even my brain has enunciate I'm not a 'street smart' person.

>>18237099
Based girls

>>18238307
I just want to fuck her butt

>>18236606
Thanks anon, wish my horny ass luck

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4x4OhR0X75U

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PeLOJaI2F_A

I've been feeling quite unusual these days
I've been reading about many of the significant events that have occurred all throughout human history
Some of these events everyone knows about and some very few do
I'm beginning to see it

Solo tú
No necesito más
Te adoraría lo que dura la eternidad
Debes ser perfecta para
Perfecto para
Perfecta para mí, mi amor

>>18235890
Here's what the average thread there is like
https://saidit.net/s/debatealtright/comments/7v9f/how_do_you_do_fellow_heterosexuals/

My sin is growing but my desire to stop is not. It is not hell I fear, but bodily weakness. I would simply like to be healthy, and yet I can’t find the motivation. Why must I live in the present? I don’t care to know, I don’t want to know how to change, I simply want to change

>>18235812
consumeproduct is funny sometimes but ultimately it just seems like a bunch of fat kids who feel guilty for masturbating, i also browse overit sometimes too just to chuckle at the terf cat ladies seething

>>18235812
if u want to see something really wild browse ovarit

>>18238709
I saw your deleted post you coward, you little bitch

>>18238712
i spelled ovarit wrong in that one so if anyone google it they would have gotten some tech consultants or some shit ok, why so trigged? lmao

When I look in the mirror I don’t think too poorly of myself but when I see a picture of me it’s disgusting. Other people experience this too, right?

>>18238765
don’t worry bro

Struggle!

Do we really show our true faces when we are angry? Are those states more true than states of affection or love?

>>18233719
I have become increasingly misanthropic and pessimistic over the last year. Things in life over the past 10 years never worked out the way I wanted them to. From age 15-25, nothing worked went the way I had planned. Constantly, I was forced to adapt and make the best of circumstances some (not all) of which were beyond my control. My way to cope with this is often feelings of disdain for others, and indifference towards the suffering and chaotic nature of our world. In other words I have become much more selfish.

I can't fucki g sleep AAAAAAAAAAAAAA I have been lying down for 4 hours wtffff

My final paper for a history seminar is due tomorrow and it sucks pretty bad desu. As long as I get an 80 on it, I will get an A in the class, though. So there's not that much pressure to succeed.

>>18239061
I could read over it for you if you want just remove your personal info from it.

>>18239064
I appreciate the offer anon. I'll be okay though. I may just be anxious about the semester ending.

Have you ever achieved a level of cortisol, the bodily stress chemical, so high that it feels like you are extraordinarily ill?
I have, /lit/. I am in the throes of that demon cortisol up to my neck. I am shivering, soon a fever will set in.
The world has been a cruel surgeon to me, taken out a heart and put in its place a warped tumor.
Anger, confusion, dread, and a hurricane of doubts and questions. These rage in me tonight. Is it prudence, perhaps even virtue, to forgive petty slights and relational hypocrises from friends that respect and like you enough to stay at your side despite your own transgressions? Are the unacknowledged wounds an exlover has inflicted upon you worth keeping buried if you hurt her far more, and after she has been kind to you even after distancing? Or is this inaction a craven thing disguised as patience, all of it a weak, cringing cowardice? Is the anger which speaks that there are things to call to account just the thrashing of a fragile ego, no less tainted by a cluster b personality disorder?
There is, in me, a core which knows how compromised by disorder and defect all of these thoughts are. He is a solitary man in the house cellar while a storm rages outside.
Did you know that it takes roughly three months, 90 days, for brain plasticity to affect a change over thought patterns?
I will have to endure three months this, in greater and lesser degrees, before I have taken even a minor step to recovery.
Pray for me.

>>18239084
You'll be alright, good luck. I just finished my last semester too.

>>18238156
Asian here. Just stop watching the news man.

>>18238439
Listen to some hatebreed

I want to write but i am not nearly good enough. Write and other words of other people almost always bleed in my writing. I lack any originality and whenever I stumble upon a new author, I am eager to copy him. My conscious mind always remind me to do the opposite but I cant help it. I try to read philosophy to answer the questions that I cannot answer but too lazy to actually reread and digest the knowledge proper. Again, I know i am far from smart but I feel the people around me dont read and they are all too dumb. Yet, I want to fit in with these people. I dont know what I want. I am just sick of it all. I dont want to spend my life in an office chasing coin to grease the gears of the capitalist machine that we all are operators of. And again, I am too attached to worldly desires and consumed by desires and delusions. I wake up, fulfill the commands of my body to eat, shit and drink. Tickle my stimuli so that it doesnt get too dull. I understand I am only a slave to my desires and chained to it. Yet, I dont find the strength to break free from it and actually find pleasure in fulfilling the wishes of my body. I wish I was a dog or something.

>>18233719
I wanna leave this website from today. I wanna get out of this shithole. In fact, this is my last post. Bye /lit/ards.

>>18237038
my family is not conservative at all. I guess I'm pretty lucky that my parents don't shame me for my beliefs or whatever. Me and my siblings are free to do whatever we want and from what I can tell the other arab families that I grew up with are also very liberal about those things.
But then I read stories of children from muslim immigrant families who were excluded from their family or even got killed for criticizing Islam - for example there is this young turkish author from the netherlands who described in her book how she felt growing up in such a hostile patriarchal environment, and it actually sold pretty well. When relatives got hold of it they shamed her until she moved out and she doesn't even want to go outside anymore because she's too scared of all the death threats she receives all the time. There was another case where a young arab poet from denmark described family abuse and muslim hypocrisy in his poets, who also got excluded from his family and received death threats. His dead body was eventually found in his apartment but iirc there was no clear evidence whether it was suicide or murder. He was still in his early 20s. Shit like that is scary dude.

>>18239329
see you tomorrow

>>18233728
>>18237797
Show your cross. I want one that’s tasteful but it’s so difficult to find one that isn’t gaudy or cheap.

I find it rather neat that a wedding ring is called "alliance" in French.

>>18233825
I am a banker. It is comfy as hell.

>>18239548
Isn't France one of the countries where paternity tests are banned?

>>18233719
I have to change my sleep schedule for reasons. I'm going form going to bed at 5 am to wakening up at 5 am.
It gonna be a long day.

>>18233728
Why do followers of a religion that despises idolatry wear symbols of idolatry?

Nigger.
Nigger.
Nigger. 1
Nigger. 2
Nigger. 4
Nigger.
Nigger. 21

I think I just saw a meteor. Very bright, wide contrail.

Im still waiting for an inspiration or a breath of life. Theres no alternative.

>>18238664
>posting vaporwave in the year of the plague 2021
OH NO NO NO NO

>>18238678
>lo que dura la eternidad
"unto eternity"?
literally "that which lasts eternity"?

>>18238335
very good

>>18236452
but just like on social media when some loser kills himself here you always pretend you give a fuck
it's all face shit, everything everyone does here is face shit
even anonymity doesn't change it

>>18240050
>face
fake?

dude

>>18239272
>I want to write but i am not nearly good enough.
Jfc just write. It isn't going to get any better on it's own. Who gives a shit if it is influenced by other people that shit happens all the time in writing AND in other art forms. In fact ALL other art forms. Painting, music, sculpting, fucking take your pick. It is how artists learn when they are starting out. What sets successful writers apart from non-successful writers is....drum roll....WRITTING. A lot of people just stop because they think it is bad. News flash, you are always going to think your writing is bad. Highly successful writers still look at their work and wish it was this or that. It is the curse of being an artist. So if your depressed go talk to someone. Then sit down and write for an hour a day. If you copy someone cool. If it is shit, that's fine too. For the love of whatever you believe in just write....

>>18239329
>One of us
>One of us
>One of us
>One of us
>One of us
>One of us

>taking notes
>mean to write "x is a poor predictor"
>accidentally write "x is a poop predictor"
>laugh
life is pretty good

>>18239522
>Shit like that is scary dude.
You just described every religion ever.

>who described in her book how she felt growing up in such a hostile patriarchal environment
>described family abuse and muslim hypocrisy in his poets

Not using a pseudonym shows how retarded they were

buenos días

>>18237520
lefties are braindead

>>18239522
I think modern Islam suffers tremendously from having lost scholarship. it's a religion based on there being a scholarly class of interpreters, who are supposed to be trained in the knowledge that mercy comes first. I know the ottomans stopped having sharia courts in the 1800s and I've heard that this lead to the complete devaluation of being 'ulama in islamic society. It's like how catholics will say that protestant sola scriptura is unsound because the scripture is supposed to be a part of the religion, that's what it was made for. So making the whole religion be the bible misunderstands what the bible is, according to them. So now we have Islam without 'ulama: is this Islam? My understanding, and God knows best, is that Islam was a system that took shape over centuries, and the centerpiece was the 'ulama which now no longer exists.

For better or worse, it seems wrongheaded for average muslims to engage with the law on their own. This may sound insane, but it seems that this is best, because interpreting the law is a science and it is meant to be taken as a whole, and no layman will ever be able to do this. So if there are no interpreters, and we are left with amateurs not trained in the tradition that mercy must come first, that madness can not be sharia, then... I don't know what we have.

>>18240347
Why is his left hand not white too

>>18240252
Yes it is, Anon.

>>18238473
yoo, this is really old
stevie williams is a legend

>>18238709
Radfems aren't that wild

Bake new bread

>>18234344
Have you ever tried to make money online? No boss, no stress. There are plenty of sites that offer small jobs for you to do.Here are some of them: respondent, usertesting, userzoom, appen, lionbridge, hellopingpong.com.

>>18240464
There, now we've reached bump limit

>>18240507

i watched a bunch of videos and read a bunch of statistics and news about gay rights in russia and i'm feeling really unhappy due to all the shit i've seen, literally the orthodox church said letting gays marry will bring the apocalypse

https://www.rferl.org/a/patriarch-russia-gay-apocalypse-kirill/25052758.html

also a bunch of horror stories like the 20 something year old who came out as gay to his freinds in a drinking session who then proceeded to torture,sexually assault with beer bottles,assault and finally murder by smashing his head to bits with a fucking rock