/lit/ - Literature

777777777n

ish Ish -ish

why don't you realize that man is god and god is man

my testicles

oogabooga

I got a BA in philosophy and can't get a job

>>18501412
I'm poo man
Care to ask me a question on poo, ask me for answers about poo. I'm listening alwa

i wanna tongue kiss an anime girl. why did man invent cute anime girls? we know they'll never exist in real life so we can never kiss them or fall in love with them. why create something so beautiful that's always out of reach? is it masochism? I hope when I die I go to heaven and God gives me a cute anime gf to hang out with. I guess if I was in heaven I'd say hi to my grandma and the rest of my dead relatives. pretty selfish of me to immediately think of anime pussy the minute I die. ya I should say hi to family first. I guess im an atheist so I dont fully believe in heaven but I like to leave a little room for imagination and wishful thinking. it's unhealthy to not allow a few fantasies to slip in your mind here and there. I'm gonna go read; keep it real bros.

>>18501578

>>18501412
yeah sneed motherfucker cocksucker bitch joe pesci ramen dhthe doors jim morrison fumo suwako phone light photon uv ray

Rattle my bones my leg fell off

china on the table
china at the door
china in the ocean
dengists on the dancefloor

passion in their hearts
as the deed is done
america on fiy - ah
china namba wan

>>18501618
ironically I look like Jim Morrison.
same hair and same jawline.

boredom is the cardinal sin, people murdering each other in the streets and kneeling to cia psyops just so they have something to do; the apocalypse comes when the distractions end

>>18501598
damn I wanna be the main character in that show and make the twins fuck for me

>>18501662
Nice, probably obvious but I was listening to the Doors when I wrote that.

>>18501696
which song. soul kitchen has always been my fav but desu they were too godly. everything's good

>>18501793
The whole self-titled album. Soul Kitchen was a really good track off it, I agree. Personally, my favorite is Strange Days. Playing Fallout: New Vegas to When the Music's Over is the coolest feeling in the world.

it should be illegal to be bored in a universe this fucking cool
and yet here we are

>>18501673
Tell them to clean their rooms.

>>18501865
comfy

>>18501578
bro just think

I want to be able to formalize how I act socially. I do fine, but however I act, I do so intuitively.

Interpreting actions and creating a system for different scenarios would be so great.

Tempted to just read up on all the MBTI personality types to understand most people mostly.

>>18504246
Whats your type

>>18504300
ENTJ, what's yours?

>>18504322
INTP

>>18504246
MBTI is all shit that typically only becomes apparent if you talk to somebody for an extended period of time. Improving your social interactions can be improved by reading others, but focusing too hard on systematizing all of your interactions could make you seem detached or pretentious if you go about it the wrong way. Don't overthink it, just be nice and improve yourself.

This was something I submitted to university a few years ago, very blatantly plagiarising Chekov's "The Student". My teacher had no clue, which was good for me but doesn't reflect very well on her.
>The air smelled of winter. The frost seeped through his lungs as he took each vital breath. The wind passed by as a presence, pushing past him in a rush, whistling through the branch beside him, shaking the ice from its leaves. The cold brought him to tremble, a sharp and biting force of nature. The tremble in his father's hands the last goodbye they shared. The cold brought such a weakness to even a man as young as this. You cannot reason with a breeze, explain to it your suffering and hope for respite in return. He could hear movement nearby, either something alive or leaves stirred by the breeze.
>His numb fingers clutched a basket as they quivered, half-full of what had left to gather, cursing as he forced himself through the penetrative wind. He wondered if this same accursed wind blew in past days of history. Had a wind such as this, on this same wretched day, blown through hand and throat of those before him? Had a wind such as this soured the mood of a peasant long dead? Had a wind such as this agitated a great general in wartime, who directed his agitation towards a township he hadn't planned on razing?
>A wisp of white smoke from a chimney marked his destination, as the sun took its leave behind Otuken. The mountain was said to be sacred, though the reason for its sacrality was never explained to him. Its looming shadow in pursuit of him as he fought to soak in the few remaining rays of sunshine before the cruel night swept in again.
>He had arrived. Beyond a narrow treeline of birch and aspen, his mother's home stood with a frail dignity, its chimney emerging tall from its thatched roof. The drying racks had not seen use since two summers ago. A fisherman no longer lived here.
He entered, a familiar smell greeted him. His mother believed her tea drinking was the cause of her long life. A figure between old jars of kompot. He explained the poor harvest. 'Na Boga nadesya, a sam ne ploshay', hope for God's help, but rely on yourself. She said that more often lately. She took the basket from his hand. A soup would keep them warm. The fire crackled in the stove.
>The dark swallowed the world, and the wind sung. The sound of a winter night, like a wolf howling at the door, desperate to pervade whatever warmth resound within, for no reason but its very nature. He'd known stories of hauntings but now understood the truth behind them. Spring would surely come.

"Money disappears, it becomes nothing. And thus all these things which seem to be real and upon which we can rely, are in fact of secondary importance. All human things, all things we can invent and create are finite. So too all human religious experiences are finite. They show only one aspect of reality, because our limited being understands only some parts, some elements. Only God is infinite and through him, his Word too is universal and knows no end. Only the Word of God is the foundation of all reality, stable like heaven. Therefore we must change our concept of reality. A realist is one who recognizes that the Word of God - this reality that appears so weak - is in fact the foundation of everything."
-- Pope Benedict XVI (Oct 6, 2008)

>>18504328
I'm not looking at it from the angle of self-improvement, just wondering if I could systematize it. Haven't psychologists probably done this already?

Why is MBTI shit?

>>18504340
Ah, I misread that.
However, have there been criticisms of MBTI?

In her all that makes my admiration and my happiness multiplies also terribly strong my sorrow, if she becomes a nun, I fear much that she regrets it. It seems that among the nuns, either one becomes very holy or one becomes very crazy.

Black people are white.

He enjoyed listening to Christian metal at moderate volumes.

>>18504343
Not really an intellectual "criticism" but it lends itself to overreliance on "teams" mentality and at worst is functionally no different from shit like birthstones/zodiac.

>>18501593
candlejack

>>18501412
Benis :DDDDDDDDDDDDD

There is only one

The brain is still the same hundreds of years ago, but is starting to show its capacity.

>>18501680
what's the name of the show?

The last thing Butterfly posted was acknowledging that she listened to my vocaroos about getting her to masturbate and she hasn't posted since.

Is she on some kind of weird, masturbation spree or something? :3

>>18501412
nihilism is for babies who don't know how to chew the meat of reality

>>18501412
I posstered in other bread so it had to make me wait a minute before typing this
nig nog piddy wog

People on this site using the word brother make me think they are bad imitations of Hulk Hogan, it's really aggravating

>>18505101
kiss x sis

"I'm going to rape her. I am seriously going to rape her.", John declared to himself. His female professor continued to drone on and on about feminist queer theory. John's eye twitched every time the professor mentioned white male privilege.

"Alright class, it is time to put my words into action. All male students please line up in front of the class where you will pay for your historical privilege." Confused, all of the men slowly got up out of their seats and walked to the front of the lecture hall. As if on que after all the men were lined up, a parade of giant black men began waltzing in through the hall entrance. Each black man was carrying a dog leash, and a look of lust in their eye.

Sensing his asshole was in danger, John jolted to action. He removed the handgun he was conceal carrying from his side, an action he had practiced countless times, and aimed at the professor. But before he could take fire, all of the black men as if instinctively drew their own firearms and began shooting aimlessly into the lecture hall. All hell broke loose.

Continue?

All I ever could wish for is a demise of this sad joke of a state in a bath of olive green. The full, roaring noise of tanks driving past the parliament and governmental buildings, securing key positions and putting the wretched, damnable career politicians out of commission, maybe softly, maybe with lead. All the inner contradictions that have been dammed up are going to need a massive catharsis to be resolved. There is no other way. And if I can do my part to bring this day ever closer, I will have fulfilled the only purpose I ever need in life.

i spent 75$ at the asian market on ramen, snacks and drinks and i have no regrets

>>18501412
The fundamental curse of liberalism is the appeal to retards and degenerates.

i am ballin fading discord notif openiong up k qst you live in anonymous proxy all tomorrow focault wojak tunisia algeria tomb for 300,000 soldiers

I can't wait to get my own apartment and leave-- I'll be free then. I'll be able to masturbate at all hours, take a shower or a shit without a fucking neighbor listening and complaining it's 3 am, I'll be able to sleep and not be woken up by anybody. It'll be cathartic, even more for others since I won't be around to hurt anyone with my words. I firmly believe I'll be happier than I ever was. I sometimes think about my old apartment, when I lived in my own for a year. I was depressed and imprisoned, indeed, but when I look back, I don't believe there was a time I was freer my life than when I was masturbating and crying in a 12 square meters prison. I'll be free with a new apartment, I know it. I'll be free then.

5 years neet here. I kinda gave up after uni because i put all my hope-eggs into one basket and it all crashed. I thought that there could be people with similar experience but it was just a HS on steroids. I hated every second of it because the field was boring to me but i didnt know what else to pick or switch to . Somehow I did graduate even with academic leave. I think my problem is a bit bigger than that. I feel like my life is completely meaningless. I dont want for others to choose what i should do but i cant seem to realize what i want to do on my own. I just dont know as the answer doesnt come to me in a clear way. Even now, im living at parents place and i feel the pressure to move out, find a job and start living on my own in general sense. However i see that all this change require much more strength than i have. I just dont know and feel completely disconnected from dreams, goals and energy despite it sounding like an excuse. Im not even talking about relationships in general, never had a slightest experience in that area so even if i'd somehow manage to acquire it, im just asking to be tricked, used or cheated due to my inexperience. Sometimes i do wonder why i continue living in this disconnected state but then i remember that im a pathetic coward who couldnt even kill himself and just continue tormenting others by his existence. Maybe it would put parents and brother at ease.
I dont know why i bother writing this in the first place but maybe that eases the pain a bit.

>>18507885
this was scarily relatable...we'll find our calling someday anon.........i hope...

>>18507885
>just a HS on steroids
I dropped out in my second semester because of this. Do not regret it in the slightest.

Ooh, forgot my woman, lost my friends
Things I'd done and where I've been
Sleep in sweat, the mirror's cold
See my face, it's growin' old

>>18508343
only miracle is left

She dons her cape at the first sign of trouble
Picking up the rest from the rubble
Behold her step, watch her tread
Enemies beware with Black dread:
UltraWoman - brave as can be.
Ridding mankind's tyranny.
Its evil sins and apocalyptic visions
annihilated by gun slinging action and explosions.

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG
BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG

Feline pawprints sign the way
As superheroes fall astray

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG
BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG

From Bethlehem to Tiananmen Square
None meet a fate they could not call fair

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG
BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG

Ultrawoman Ultrawoman Ultrawoman
We Worship you

Sometimes I like to write a bunch of nonsense that pop into my head as a poem and then arbitrarily prescribe a meaning to it after the fact.

feign guilt
procession
black eyes on a girdled cub
itll come and take from the well
but not before, hereafter
dotted corpses rise from the sink
hear the march from below the tide

This one's about smallpox I've decided.

>>18508501
im just so tired all the time...

>>18501412
HORNY HORNY HORNY HORNY HORNY HORNY HORNY HORNY HORNY HORNY HORNY HORNY HORNY

>>18501598
I unironically fucking hate animals and all animals watchers need a bullet in their head. The art style, the animation, the sounds, the cliches, everything about it is disgusting garbage

im gonna hangout with my friends later but I have been smoking and drinking since I woke up. itll go ok bros... right

>>18505886
please do not

i want to start a blog or something but don't think i have interesting enough thoughts to put out there since everyone has a medium or some shit that it just trash and train of thought sort of how this post is. i can't find a decent job so why not try and make a magazine or something just to pay rent and move out and become "a creative" or what ever that means in today's world

>>18509875
been there.
day off?

>>18509944
man i have this same feeling lol
i have so much to say but no one to say it too. i think im gonna make a blog anyways and not tell anyone. dont really care about notoriety. i just think my ideas need to be documented.

>>18502000
Trips don't lie

>>18509880
>>18505886
The niggers were out of control. Each and every one was instinctively firing their firearms into the lecture hall. John ducked just in time to watch a bullet fly past where his head just was, implanting into the eye of the girl sitting behind him. Interestingly enough, despite the active gun violence, every female in the room had the expression on her face that read "I don't see anything happening here". Many even had looks of lust for the black kings indiscriminately killing.

John began crawling through the labyrinth of corpses, with the occasional live victim being raped by a black man, desperately looking for the hall exit. The sounds of bullets began to wane off after the blacks lost interest in shooting their guns and switched to gangbanging the professor. Although, it seemed that the liberal arts professor was enjoying this.

Right as John had crawled to the door and was reaching for the handle, he felt a monkey-like hand grab his foot.

"Ay where this nigga think he going"

John's blood turned to ice as the negro began dragging him along the floor. John knew that pleading would be of no use, the chimp was already smacking his lips, hungry for his meal. John watched in horror as he was slowly dragged back to the negro orgy nest. John snapped out of his panic and his instincts kicked in.

"I've been preparing to kill niggers my entire life".

Continue?

Fuck. Can't hold. Aspirin. A clay pot with beans in it. Una hoya. Estamos a dentro de una hoya. Esperamos que nos cosumin rapido.

>>18510579
Sí, más aspirina.

This shit will hit in 15 minutes or so.

>>18510624
how many tabs

>>18510641
Today? Probably 4 or 5. 500mg.

>>18510650
But it just fucking works, anon. I used to manage my shit with cigarettes. Never really tried those things, they are pretty good. I get shit done and I'm not even trying.

>>18510650
jesus christ bro thats a lot

Dans le village, l'eau et les hommes avaient disparu
Les femmes pleuraient et tremblaient devant la sorcière
Kirikou seul savait où trouver notre grand-père
Kirikou mon ami nous a redonné la vie

Kirikou n'est pas grand, mais il est vaillant
Kirikou est petit, mais c'est mon ami
Kirikou n'est pas grand, mais il est vaillant
Kirikou est petit, mais c'est mon ami

Sur la route des flamboyants
Du haut de la case de Karaba
Les fétiches surveillent le village
Kirikou demande pourquoi Karaba est si méchante
Kirikou mon ami nous a redonné la vie

Kirikou n'est pas grand, mais il est vaillant
Kirikou est petit, mais c'est mon ami
Kirikou n'est pas grand, mais il est vaillant
Kirikou est petit, mais c'est mon ami

Kirikou est petit, mais c'est mon ami,
Mais c'est mon ami
Kirikou n'est pas grand, mais il est vaillant,
Mais il est vaillant

Kirikou n'est pas grand, mais il est vaillant
Kirikou est petit, mais c'est mon ami
Kirikou n'est pas grand, mais il est vaillant
Kirikou est petit, mais c'est mon ami

Kirikou n'est pas grand, mais il est vaillant
Kirikou est petit, mais c'est mon ami
Kirikou n'est pas grand, mais il est vaillant
Kirikou est petit, mais c'est mon ami

Kirikou n'est pas grand, mais il est vaillant
Kirikou est petit, mais c'est mon ami
Kirikou n'est pas grand, mais il est vaillant
Kirikou est petit, mais c'est mon ami

Kirikou n'est pas grand, mais il est vaillant
Kirikou est petit, mais c'est mon ami
Kirikou n'est pas grand, mais il est vaillant
Kirikou est petit, mais c'est mon ami

Kirikou n'est pas grand, mais il est vaillant
Kirikou est petit, mais c'est mon ami
Kirikou n'est pas grand, mais il est vaillant
Kirikou est petit, mais c'est mon ami

Forlorn. Null. It was so forlorn and null that Jaeicho felt there should be a new word to describe it. Nullorninity. Jaeicho thought himself very clever, seated in his tiny boat in a lake that was pale and empty and endless. The fishing rod he held was as still as the water’s surface, and in fact he couldn’t remember a time when it wasn’t. How long had he been out here? Well, Jaeicho’s mind was brilliant and did not waste time reflecting on trivial matters like that. There were more important things to concern himself over. Such as, what was available for him to eat, currently? He realized that, if he couldn’t remember a time when his fishing rod was useful, then he must have been out here a very long time. And if Jaeicho had been here all this time without so much a scrap of food, surely he was fine to go a little longer. So that problem is resolved. Jaeicho was clever like that.
“I’m quite good at things.” commented the insufferable puffer. Rude, that statement was supposed to be in Jaeicho’s thoughts. The ridiculous puffer was such a bad, unimportant, and unmemorable thing that it wrapped around back to being interesting, important, and memorable. The dastardly puffer was so uncouth that it didn’t even care that it wasn’t supposed to be capable of floating in the air, but there it was, like a little spiky ball of frustration. Jaeicho considered batting it away with his hand, but changed his mind, worried by the prospect of retaliation.
“You aren’t supposed to be here. And I don’t like you very much.” the two of them glared at one another. The situation was quite upsetting. But in that moment that Jaeicho’s gaze left the water, so it was that the surface broke, but only gently. An entity surfaced from the lake that was pale and empty and endless, and in fact she was an old friend of Jaeicho’s. Which was odd, considering the pair of them had never met until now. Jaeicho reasoned this was called “charisma”. With a very long neck she brought her eyeless face to glance at them without vision.
“What’s all the negativity?” She asked without a mouth. Jaeicho pointed at the obnoxious puffer.
“He started it and no one invited him!” cried the intolerable puffer. The friend tilted her head to listen without ears.
“It’s always just best to leave a bad place.” And so it was that the friend raised a baker’s dozen of arms from the water, grasping Jaeicho without hands. Jaeicho wasn’t all that offended by this, he had begun to grow tired of the nullorninity. And then, he was pulled below the lake that was pale and empty and endless. If only he could have held on to his fishing rod. But then, he had never remembered a time where it wasn’t completely still, so he wasn’t upset over losing it after all. Jaeicho was clever like this.

>>18510678
It is better than cigarettes. I can't smoke indoors, and I don't waste any time.

>>18510912
hows your trip

>>18510925
No trip, it is like suddenly whatever I'm doing starts to make sense. Like I decided that I want to read a Shakespeare play because I'm bored of reading investment books. If I hadn't took it, I would probably just get into youtube and go with whatever is there, but I'm being 'free'. Is that what is like to be free?

>>18507885
Finding what you like can only happen if you free up space in your life for it to occur. If you distract yourself 24/7 by playing video games, watching anime, etc. Then of course you're never going to find what you enjoy. You have to actually go outside your comfort zone to discover what you like.
Of course this is hard, which is actually the same issue 99% of people have. The only difference is that when the people you see as successful were young they were forced outside of their comfort zone by their parents and learned to socialize while you were likely cocooned by your parents.
The benefit of this is that if you can overcome your social anxieties in adulthood that opens up the pathway to overcome other anxieties and become more successful than the jock who was having the time of his life in highschool only to be destroyed by the responsibilities of life and having to compare his current failures with his previously carefree existence.

Only within particular parameters can a series of events occur in so rapid a succession that, despite their best efforts, talking heads and industry “experts” could never hope to realize them ahead of time. The particular event in question here is the imminent extinction of humanity. The event started one lovely fall day, as Miss Kiliminkiko was grinding to work. An abject victim of late stage capital is
Such as herself……

This Is what my high brain thought up

>>18501412
I reflected on my kino psychotic break years today and came to the late revelation that stress was a necessary ingredient for transcendence. Cursory comparisons to shamanic traditions and coming of age rituals involving subjecting the individual to voluntary stress like fasting, isolation, and chemistry altering substances followed. Our era is incapable of producing great works of art because we do not possess enough stress in our lives. And if we do, we are force fed drugs to dull stress's awakening potential. Unless we stop the war on stress and reject tranquility we will never make an important cultural mark again.

Winter fell with a muted, static silence on the Hollow Forest near a long-abandoned superfund site in what used to be Virginia. The Hollow Forest had been named as such some time ago because of the unique nature of the groundwater pollution nearby, which made its way into the trees by way of their roots, killed them, and induced rot from the inside out, which eventually led to the large hollows in the trunks developing not long before the rest of the state cleared out for not-too-dissimilar reasons. So even though no one had been around to call it the Hollow Forest in several years, some people out-of-state knew about it, so the name was as official of one as it was going to get.

The year's winter started out particularly harsh, with what might have been called a "wintery mix" if it had been reported on on the weather channel falling heavily from slightly yellowed grey clouds onto the forest, filling the husks of the trees with a melange of various states of water. The temperature stayed consistent for a time, then warmed slightly, which allowed for the ice inside the trees to go to slush as it was occasionally supplemented by further rainfall. No animals came near enough to the forest to make use of the potentially cleaner water the hollows would afford them, so they sat untouched for weeks until January brought with it a bitter cold, which started to refreeze the pools that had formed inside the trunks. Dutifully following the rules that govern it, the water expanded as it froze, in part rising out of the trunks in newly solidified pillars, but also bursting the seams of the hollows from within, cracking through what remained of the dead and half-alive wood. Most of the trees were sufficiently decomposed that the ice met with little to no resistence, quickly cracking through the facade of the trees' former healthy selves and eventually felling all parties involved when the structure became too damaged to hold up the weight of the water. Some, however, had a recent enough hold on life that the ice wasn't easily able to locate the path of least resistence, and held their shape for some time longer as the water froze. Eventually, though, time enough had passed that these more stubborn trunks could no longer hold on, and they started to fall, one after the next, with thunderous cracks as the tension that had been building up in the trunks found release. Hour upon hour, more of the remaining trunks could no longer hold on, and the Hollow Forest played its own cannonfire as it passed.

>>18510939
wait, what are you taking, again?

>>18501412
Why do you make this thread? you're awake that there already is a similar thread called "write what's on your mind", yes?

>>18501412
Back on the booze again. Soon enough I'll be licking hand sanitizer in airport bathrooms and licking whore pussy underneath the Brooklyn bridge. Cheers for the laughs. Stay safe anons.

Thoughts on Dr Sadler’s 10 books for noobs to philosophy?

>>18501412
I have been wondering how exactly I should get from here:

>John likes kitty cats and pee pee poo poo. John plays with his pee pee poo poo in the sandbox.

To here:

>A screaming comes across the sky. It has happened before, but there is nothing to compare it to now.

>It is too late. The Evacuation still proceeds, but it's all theatre. There are no lights inside the cars. No light anywhere. Above him lift girders old as an iron queen, and glass somewhere far above that would let the light of day through. But it's night. He's afraid of the way the glass will fall—soon—it will be a spectacle: the fall of a crystal palace. But coming down in total blackout, without one glint of light, only great invisible crashing.

>Inside the carriage, which is built on several levels, he sits in velveteen darkness, with nothing to smoke, feeling metal nearer and farther rub and connect, steam escaping in puffs, a vibration in the carriage's frame, a poising, an uneasiness, all the others pressed in around, feeble ones, second sheep, all out of luck and time: drunks, old veterans still in shock from ordnance 20 years obsolete, hustlers in city clothes, derelicts, exhausted women with more children than it seems could belong to anyone, stacked about among the rest of the things to be carried out to salvation. Only the nearer faces are visible at all, and at that only as half-silvered images in a view finder, green-stained VIP faces remembered behind bulletproof windows speeding through the city...

Yes, my aim is to write like Pynchon; nay, to BE Pynchon. And be Pynchon I shall, O my brothers and sisters. Let us embark on this grand road of discovery together so that we may ALL be Pynchons.

Insane you say? Impossible? Why, take that crap and shove it up your snatch! Being Pynchon is hard, but hardness is different from impossibility. Of course, one cannot simply replicate Pynchon, but one can aim for that same level of intense condensation that characterizes his prose. First, we must understand what exactly MAKES Pynchon Pynchon. And I don't mean just a namby pamby analysis of symbols and references like a dried-out, withered, old cunt of a lit scholar. I mean matching voice for voice, detail for detail, image for image, tone for tone -- an EXCAVATION of Pynchon. I say we shovel up bones, set alight old tomes, and READ READ READ.

>>18501412
I am currently seething because I got 3 days of for typing n-word and then immidiately another for typing semen demon. This place is turning into reddit before our eyes

>>18511663
Sadler is great for beginners generally, and this is a mostly good list. That said: Boethius is an unconventional choice to start with, Lucretius might be a decent replacement. Mary Wollstonecraft being on there is a meme, plainly put. He wanted to put a woman on there I suppose, but there is no reason that someone trying to get their footing in philosophy should spend time on that sort of text right now. It will be there later, and will be no easier or harder than if you had started with it. Its utility is extremely marginal for a beginner, and even if you want to read things on rights/political philosophy, you'd be better served with Hobbes or Rousseau. Otherwise, very good selection.

>>18511218
I wouldnt mind going out of comfort zone if i'd personally see any inherent meaning in doing so. I feel like im stuck in catch 22 situation - to find meaning you need action and to perform action you need to feel meaning in doing it. Sometimes i do think that im even past late bloom stage (im 30 next year), even 15 year old people are miles ahead in understanding basic concepts like personal responsibility, having dreams and etc. Thanks for reply.

Because we are doesnt mean we can

>>18511788
can we?

>>18511721
I've never been banned for any of those things, but really? you got banned for saying semen demon? I find that hard to believe, is that all there was to it and what board?

i can't sleep. or i don't want to sleep. but i just can't wake up either
once i'm asleep, waking up is almost physically impossible
once i'm awake, sleeping is nowhere to be found
some nights, i admit, i'm obsessed with my phone and can't put it down
but even on the nights i have a shred of self control and am not drawn to the blue light i toss and turn for hours
and it's not just sleep i can't acheive, a peace of mind is out of my grasp as well
i have a job that pays, but even when i see my bank account go up it does not alleviate the stress
i get so stressed on the job that it actually prevents me for doing work properly
i can't concentrate and do what needs to be done
and it loops
i live for my days off so i can do no work without the guilt
i don't fear losing my job, as even if that happened i wouldn't feel so bad
i fear the confrontation that may occur in which i must justify my lack of work ethic some days
i a department that's understaffed and overworked, i shouldn't feel guilt for trying my hardest
yet the level of work prevents me from trying my hardest all the time

i've spent over 2000 hours on a single video game
i've gotten quite good at it, but there are others much better than i'll ever be
there's a creative aspect to the game as well in which i find great joy
but also a sense of dread crops up when i don't feel as creative as i could be

this feeling, maybe cognitive dissonance of sort, has haunted me my whole life
i did well in school, in math and english and physics, etc
but i always felt i had this creative side which i could never express
my brother was the creative one, or so thought my family and friends
but in my mind, i was more creative but i could never show it

always, one day, i would think, i'll be able to show the whole world how creative i can be
but when i try to be creative i'm just appalled at what i produce
i think that maybe i'm really not creative, and this kills me more than anything else
am i just a boring person?
i can't imagine being a boring person would be a life worth living

i have imagined so many different outcomes for my life, almost all an outcome where i get to produce art in some form
and maybe that's why i can't imagine a life working an office job for the good years of my adulthood
a life stuck in a capitalist modern society does not suit me

all the jobs i've had so far i've enjoyed at first, i quick;y excelled at them and gained a sense of accomplishment
but as time goes by, around the one year mark, i grow entirely dissatifies with my work
i lose any enthusiasm i may have had, and my work suffers, and i lose more enthusiasm, and my work suffers...
and this may not me so bad, but this lack of enthusiasm enevitably leaks it's way into other aspects of my life

and here comes the biggest problem, maybe
after i've written all this, i begin to doubt myself
is this how i actually feel, or have i made it all up
then i think and, yeah, maybe this is how i feel
but i quickly forget about in anyways

>>18501412
I don't need anything if I don't want anything. I don't want to die yet though, so I require something to do to pass the time. I haven't quite worked out what that should be yet.

>>18501412
Sitting at the main gun of a Cruiser Semi Truck had taken its toll on the old man, both physically and mentally, and perhaps even spiritually, as if the unflinching bite of the Australian sun and piercing arid winds of the Central Ghost-Plains had writhed into him and snatched a sliver of his very soul to be forever kept a guest of the ever shifting amalgamate of red dirt, cloudless skies. and... whatever else was out there.
His sunburnt, parched skin, mottled with green-brown, as typical of the orcs of Italian descent, off of his lean frame, the rigors of aging gradually beginning to diminish the physique of a man whose job involves fighting for their life, leaving him with a stooped spine, an attribute which he was oft to blame on leaning over a Bren gun for the better part pf his adult life.
The eyes, however, they were not sundered one bit by age. A steely azure, those were the eyes of a man who could, and had, shot down everything from Fly-Boy helicopters, to the many limbed Arthro-Drakes, to even the fearsome Empty Lords of the deepest desert roads.

I wonder what the endgame of reading so much is...

>>18511659
Aspirins, anon. They are not supposed to make me feel anything.

>>18512150
/biz/, global 3 day ban for "trolling". Yeah it was a cute and funny picture but I only said it ironically officer
Jannies are becoming absolute AIDS

>>18501578
get a masters and work in law

>>18501578
no idea what you expected

gabba gabba gooba gabba

Going into 3rd year of uni pursuing physics I've started to get more and more interested in actually sitting down and writing a book. It's entirely unconnected to my major though, and I fear that it would be a waste of time since it wouldn't advance my career or opportunities whatsoever. Should I do it anyways?

>>18512959
It depends on what field in physics.

Some HR lady at the place I applied to said she was going to call me at 11:00, almost two hours ago. No call yet. What the fuck is her problem?

>>18513442
call her back, maybe she forgot or maybe it's a test.

>>18511659
I make this thread because i can. Fuck the "whats on your mind" guys. Im way cooler and im smarter. This thread is way more open ended anyways.

>>18513454
Yeah, I just left her a voice mail. Hate the feeling of waiting around to receive a call all day though, just want to get it done.

>>18501412
Return me to the void
I am but a slave of my design, brought to this world not on my own volition
no thought I have is mine alone, no action stemming truly from who I am
Doomed the moment I entered this realm, forced to be something despite originating from nothing
I simply wish
I wish

>>18501412
cum

>>18501412
Take a farmer. Simple man with a little land. Let's say that land ain't so good for growing, too much acidity. What's he to do? Could go down, get some suck. Maybe fuck. Then what's he to do? Get the shovel, put it into the earth fulfilling that prophecy of the first ore being heated and hammered into shape. Put that ore into the earth. And that gummy bear, sweet, small, soft. Nothing to it. Everything to it. Not worth as much as a damn fancy german car, or is it?

>>18513493
you need to be fucked

>>18511750
>Lucretius
Which one of his works would you say is ‘essential’

>>18501412
I keep telling my friends that I have an intense desire to rape twinks but they don't understand I only mean it metaphorically and I'm worried they're afraid of me

>>18514019

Back when I used to smoke weed, sometimes my poop smelled like weed. Did this ever happen to you?

>>18514040
seems more likely that your sweat smelled like weed and you were exposed to it by unsheathing your musky stoner ass and crotch to shit

>>18514040
only once. was pretty gross

Middlebrow, dull people think that Marxism and liberalism are the opposite of each other. They could not be more wrong. Marxism is simply an extension of liberalism. Marxism starts with the same liberal presuppositions.
Marxism and classical liberalism both start with assumptions of liberating the individual from the """oppression""" of traditional hierarchies and social structures, both are revolutionary, nominalist, secular, rationalist, anti-monarchirst, and anti-aristocratic. Both have equality as their telos.

>>18501412
Just think. Get the fuck out of here and think something.

>>18501412
something

>>18501412
Consume & bury
Turn your back on the darkness and it will devour you without you noticing.

>>18514068
>presuppositions

>>18514546
Yes, and?

>>18514546
Jay Dyer is too based for this leftist/liberal infested garbage dump of a board.

>>18514036
Thanks butterfly ;)

>>18511750
>Hobbes or Rousseau
Hmm who is ‘better’

There is beauty in restraint and control, that’s why fat people disgust us.
Consequently “bulking” is a cope for people who can’t control their appetite not only is this bad for physical health but the lack of restraint is also bad for mental health.

>>18514553
Nothing. I appreciate Jay for getting me to think more about presuppositions and following arguments/worldviews to their logical conclusions. Now I chuckle when I hear say that ‘we *must* allow kids to take puberty blockers and explore their gender identity’. Also make me rethink a lot of the Rockefeller funding type stuff that I had previously dismissed as conspiracy theory nonsense. One thing I don’t understand is why the elites would be so candid when explaining their plans in those books. It’s kind of like in the Bond movie when the villains break down their plan for world domination while Bond is tied up awaiting death.

>>18510411
Yeah do it

Am I the only one who was rooting for the Trojans in the Iliad?

I want to take you inside me and throw you out of me and get all the black smoke outside of my guts and away from me it pervades my entire body and I can't take it anymore

>>18514609
I think part of it is because they know that the masses of normies won't pay any attention, and the people who actually do figure out what's going on will be called crazy lunatics even though the evidence is all right there. It is a way of mocking and gaslighting all redpilled people and saying that their lies and propaganda are more powerful than the truth.
https://youtu.be/0SbFzvTKTzM

i am deeply afraid of the future for the first time in my life

And so i gurgled to her, my living misery
She answered with a smile
And outstretched her bloody hands towards me
With a burning light in her pure white eyes
She smiled yet again
And she explained that i will soon make my own scars
I begged her to stop but i knew i wanted this
These ashes are what i wanted


Wrote this like literally 10 minutes ago

>>18514923

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imNtSPM3-r4

I watched this last night and it made me feel better.

>>18514068
based monarchist

Becoming redpilled on the true nature of reality changes you. You will never see anything the same way again. Most people will seem alien to you now, stuck in their ignorant ways, and thinking YOU are the crazy one. It can be a lonely existence.

Turns out all work needed to do to be interesting and for me to care was to put a cute girl sitting across the hall from me. All of a sudden I frickin love work.

When does Deep Space Nine get really good? I'm in the first season and it's ok so far but not great. The characters are all right except for Kira and her annoying nasally voice and her emotional outbursts.

>>18515100
fag

>>18501412
I am a social outcast 21 year old KHV. I subscribe to right wing views and I have a 7 inch penis.

>>18504330
>The dark swallowed the world, and the wind sung
I like that

>>18501412
naggers

I'm probably retarded, but I don't care. KEK

>>18516191
wagmi

ME MAKE A POOPOO

>>18516660
EPIC LOLZ FTW
seriously fuck you dude

>>18501412
fuck poor people.

>>18516702
They see me rollin'
They hatin'

>>18516660
Lol, so true. Keep on keepin on, brother!

>>18501578
I'm so happy I dropped out and learned a trade

>>18501673
I just shitpost when i'm bored. Dont know what these other fucks problem is

>>18501578
Do you want to play CS

obabo
orchard towers
i feel like michael dukakis
#greece
mclaren f1 gear lever typeface voice
extremely
i say this

>>18501412
i wanna be a writer

>>18504246

>>18517172
>>18504246
also i would say, don't formalize how you act, try to formalize how you think (Ti)

>>18501412
studpid fuck brain KNOWLEDGE please be smarter for me

>>18516951
I only play Pharaoh (1999)

>>18514786
Spooky

>>18504246
Focus on expression, not impressions. Seriously. Ultimately it's easier, but you will also come off as a more memorable person to everyone. You'll be one of the few guys with an actual personality. It's inevitable that some poeple will dislike you, but it's impossible to be loved by some without being hated by others. The only alternative, via impressionism, is being considered warmly, but without great strength, by everyone. No one will particularly hate you or love you. TL;DR be who you are, and you'll pretty much be better off for it in every way, you'll feel like a real person too rather than a cog trying to to make impressions and calculate people's personalities.

>>18514068
Did you just finish Men Among the Ruins too?

THE OWLS ARE NOT WHAT THEY SEEM

>>18518113
COOPER.COOPER

each day I rail a wailing whale who used to be a male

>>18502000
I'm never bored, just antsy

>>18507885
Shit happens but people move on.

I was thinking about mirrors again.
This thought has entered and left my mind in waves. In the city, everything reflects my physical being. The storefronts, coffee shops, office buildings, the constant stream of vehicles and glass walkways. And I am unnerved by it, constant reminder of the flaws and faults of my body, I escape to the woods and the small towns, at least in the judgemental looks of other people there has to be some honesty to it.
But to the city again; there is nothing but repulsiveness to be reflected. The cider whales' waddling gait, the rail thin addicts with their nervous gazes, the hordes of day drinking university students, hurling insults and crude gestures to anyone unlucky enough to pass by. A maze of mirrors where nobody reflects upon themselves.

>>18518347
I don't

>>18518390
Why not?

Exam season opened cavernous jaws demanding sacrifice. I looked at the expecting eyes and didn't see fear, but something wanting to help me. Motivation though vacuum. The creature demanded food, so I fed it May.

hot

I am becoming increasingly annoyed and irritated by everyone all the time.

I have an exam tomorrow and I can not be bothered. Help.

You're woke if you dig it. No Mickey Mouse can be expected to follow today's Negro Idiom without a hip assist.

>>18501412
hi

>>18507885
You're gonna make it bro, I believe in you.

>>18512556
>law
Might as well kill yourself.

>>18501412
oakey doakley
aaaaamoreacianoo to de wa maaaaaaaaaaaaaakaraena bo bo bo

>>18521059
Do you really believe its possible to turn around your life from such low point?

>>18521107
Yes

>>18519675
piss

>>18521121
I want to believe but it's rather an impossible thing - to decide on your own without any reference aka from a complete zero.

i like naked women

I'm a huge faggot

>>18521219
just hang in there buddy.
smoke less weed and sleep in less.
be unapologetically yourself and pursue your interests/hobbies regardless of other peoples opinions.
your path will come to you eventually. you've simply locked yourself into thinking that you've plateaued and there's nowhere left to go.
read some Epictetus and stay true to yourself.
i have faith in you anon.

>>18521333
lewd

>>18521352
me too <3

I'm taking a bathroom break right now .

>>18521354
>be unapologetically yourself
i try to be. its hard when all i've known is emulating others. thanks for believing.

Midsummer Day. Juhannus. The time has once again come to enjoy the sun(except it's going to rain), grill some cheap sausages and drink so much booze you wish you were dead the morning after. A petty, pointless ritual day that lost it's point many years ago.
It doesn't stop me from enjoying it though.

leaving

/lil/ isn't fun

>>18501412
I have to piss, too lazy to get up

I like to save interesting quotes from the anons who populate this board. Rather than absorbing things from books through anons, I'm reading the direct, synthesized thoughts of the readers. Authenticity of knowledge and opinion. Hard to describe it.

>>18501412
Im fucking drowning. so tired of sitting and interfacing and accomplishing nothing only to look forward to gaining more progressing for the sake progressing. WHY. Why do we bother? To see the little point meter go up, the dollar sign increase ........ I fucking hate this world though once the proper physiological arrangements kick in I will love it again. I hate this hating, my sensations which I am enslaved to....

I'm just chilling. I love aspirine. Definitely better than therapy.

With a car you can go anywhere.

>>18523735
You should put some aspirines in the fuel tank.

BRAIN OFF:

big big chidonist big big chungonist big black kanye mason west is back the rapalack attack and the polack the wojak the fivety fresh the wip wig went winter wiggity west the society and its future are too trest at geppity begpebbity poop breast

>>18523767
it's ya boy big hedonist back with anotha one don't forget to smash that like subscribe upvote button ooohhhh yueaaaaahh

if the world were ruled by gay men it would be far more peaceful and stable, probably no wars at all

For the next thing, she said has haunted me all of my life " Are you happy"

>>18523878
The world should be ruled by straighter men then
I want to go to a war and die

>>18523878
KEK definitely not. Check out who https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philippe_I,_Duke_of_Orl%C3%A9ans was. He was definitely warlike.

>>18523878
>The Dutch attacked the French positions without scouting first. Marshal Luxembourg surprised the Dutch with a cavalry attack that practically destroyed three battalions and routed William's army. In all, casualties on both sides amounted to 4,200 dead and 7,000 wounded. Philippe was hailed for his skill as a military commander, much to the annoyance of his brother, the king.[79]

He managed to obfuscate le roi soleil.

>>18523878
lol have ever been in contact with gay men? there are plenty of violent and ambitious gay/bisexual men, in history and otherwise

I lack the energy to even read.

Hey man whats up

become a religious fundamentalist

>>18524570
no

>>18524442
nothing much man. hows your day going?

I defecated on my girlfriends chest once, after she asked me to, and it got out at her work. They started calling her shitty-titty.

>>18501412
What is the singularity ?

>>18526170
Nothing to do with naziism, that’s for sure.

What's the funniest or most honest (same thing really) account of modern life? I just read journey the the end of the night and a 21st century version of that would be enjoyable.

>>18501618
morrison is a junkie drunk pseud, manzarek is doors

I've lived a hard life.

>>18501412
I miss lying naked with a woman I care about (she is naked as well)

>>18501412
I would say apples and oranges, but I think you’d have a preference.

>>18501412
she ate pizza and she also had huge tits

i wish i could be an aesthete but i'm a very dull person

>>18501412
FOUUURRRR DAYYDSS AND - my theme mysic comed pjsying, the puppeteers are spraying blood gushed cum turds fuck no i love cock up your anys like mh penis in anoyher planet fuck ut i do damage.

>>18526463
HES A FAGGOT!!!!

"You're scared of it all somehow, but most of all, change. And the human being is naught but change."
What a dumbass. Ofcourse he should fear change, you should if you want to be you. Lest ye forget your roots, your passion, your heritage. All predicated on a transient apparition. Tangled in knots. Your gender. Your identity. An amalgamation of me -isms. A low pressure system. Hectares of ripe flood plains. The canvass of a semi-conscious/unconscious being having archives of past impressions at its fingertips; the host of memories that holds together under the guise of identity, all simultaneously at the ready to be recalled at the drop of a hat, or the shake of a little lamb's tail.
All there and not there. Yet still so very, very there. To be alive. It matters not whether 'tis Socrates waking or Socrates slumbering. It's aware.
—Then what is there to be scared of? It's only shifting sands. Besides, Socrates had steel fuckin' balls.

Pew pew

>>18505886
An American epic. A milestone of literature in human history. Post-stellar colonialist leftists will despise it. More influential on political theory in 2221 than Crime and Punishment is on law enforcement today. Fire Stoker's, Blackula, please continue.

Corporate wageslaving actually feels kind of rewarding if you go into a field where profit making happens to align with public interest. I'm in a corporate job where we develop software solutions for farmers in developing countries. We charge the poor sods a high price for our software, but their crop yield increases so much (median increase in crop yield is around 450% if they use our full service suite) that their quality of life drastically improves regardless of the price gouging.
It also happens to be easy to perform well in a corporate environment as long as you have high IQ. It's designed so you don't need to be particularly structured or energetic. It also does feel good to just knock out 8 hours from morning to evening and then you can feel good about taking the rest of the day completely off.

>>18527755
This was meant as a reply to >>18507885

>>18523581
Neat

>>18527755
You won the lottery.

>>18504246
>creating a system for different scenarios
No it wouldn't. It won't work. That's pure autism, and people will smell it on you. Also, MBTI is horseshit that has no basis, and the ONLY people I see "use" it are social retards.

It's like thinking if you know what water is made of then you will be able to swim.

I have to choose between staying in my hometown with my family or moving across the country to live with my ex-GF (who I broke up with only due to the distance).
We were together for 3 years and I feel, if the distance were no longer a concern, I could see myself marrying her. But the idea of moving so far and being away from family and friends terrifies me, even if I'd only live with her for about a year.
Maybe it'd be good to do so I could get out of my comfort zone and start to grow, but I also hate how terrified it makes me feel and I'd still need to live here for a year before I could move due to school.

Shit, moving out of my parents house to place that's less than 10 minutes away already made me feel anxious as fuck so maybe I'm just a turbo-sperg. I probably am if I'm using 4chan as an emotional outlet.

>>18501412
Randy Lens’s got a cat in the bag

>>18527811

>>18527602
my main character's thoughts help out at all?

>>18527755
To piggy back on this I wanna say some stuff.

"Wageslavery" is just a cope for people who are unemployable. It completely reveals one's own bottom position in the social hierarchy, because they're basically broadcasting the message that their only job prospects would be working shit jobs for almost no money. Well, whose fault is that if your only prospects are to be a "slave"? It's embarrassing.

I actually think it's epidemic. We have a generation of people who find work intolerable. I wonder also if most of these crybabies are children of single mothers. Women generally complain about work in a way that men don't. If these people had fathers, real fathers, then they would understand that life is work. Also a generation of people growing up on their computers, not having to leave their house, are obviously going to be scared of going outside.

Anyway, I don't want to tell my own story, but God, is having a nice job like being in a secret world. People are a joy to be around when they don't hate their own jobs, and when they have a sense of ownership and accomplishment about their work -- and when they have money!

These morons are no different than communists who whine about "the system". Well, dream on, because like it or not you're gonna have to work, and whining about it is going to keep you on the bottom. And, frankly, I don't care if you're on the bottom. By and large most people are failures.

should i stay or should i go

>>18527846
Somewhat. It's definitely well-written (or at least better than anything I could articulate).

I know the decision will always be up to me in the end, regardless of how much I ask friends for advice or read about the experiences of others, yet having that choice just propels me into further paralysis and fear of the unknown.
When I first read Notes from Underground, I felt ashamed by the end of the book because of how much I empathized with the Underground Man. Being "intelligent", yet so lacking in an understanding of others that I'd rather stay in an unfavorable present and revel in my own misery than work towards a new future (although I don't find my current life particularly deplorable as UM did).
Maybe the ending of Notes should be a lesson to me, that if UM had been able to save Liza, who could have also opened the path to salvation for himself as well. Or maybe I'll be destined for stagnation as he was.

>>18527870
weird flex but ok

>>18501412
I'M GAY CUM ON FACE!!! COME ON LADS!!! BLOW YOUR HUGE LOADS ON MY FACE NOW!!!!!!!!!!

>>18527915
I think the worst for me is knowledge that, "I could do everything correctly and still be nothing." And that is not even an uncommon story. And day by day it gets more and more likely.

I’ve constantly stressed the entire time, nothing is happening tho I feel like I’m going insane, plz god kill me

There's something about the old ways that can't be replaced. I know deep down that the few Campfire stories I was told as a child were nothing like the stories told five hundred, a thousand or more years ago. Or maybe just a few hundred years ago. When humans were still a part of the great Earth and not apart from it. I can't know what more the stories were like, as they were largely forgotten generations before my great grandparents were born. But I know that the way people acted back then, as necessarily savage and simple as they could have sometimes been, I know for certain that they were more human than I or my children can ever hope to be. I know the way they felt and thought and experienced their great Earth was so much deeper, more intimate, more personal than any experience I can ever have with it.
I can't shake the idea that so much of us has been lost. And we don't even really know what is gone. How can you call something missing if the hole has simply become a part of your entire shape?

>>18529701
Check out Maps of Meaning.

This thread will be my new book

>>18529735
Yes.

>>18529712
>Maps of Meaning
A quick scan has me moments away from a purchase. Can you explain the recommendation a little more?

>>18529745
It goes on explaining that difference between you and your grandparents. At least on the initial chapters, I got to chapter 3 or something. Still have to finish it. I think it is worth checking out if you are curious about it.

>>18501412
whats the deak wiht airline food nigga

AAAAA HOW DO I KNOW IF MY PROSE IS SHIT

EVERY TIME I WRITE SOMETHING I’M PROUD OF, I SIT DOWN A WEEK LATER AND WEEP BECAUSE IT’S SHIT

HOW DO I KNOW THE THINGS I’M STILL PROUD OF AREN’T SHIT?? IS THIS LIFE

>>18501412
I hate this fucking species so much, cursed be me for being part of it.

inflation is an example of the mandela effect but nobody recognizes or acknowledges as such because there's nothing provoking about a few numbers changing. It has to be letters or pictures. But not words.

>>18529300
i love it so much though

A human mind stretching to infinity pondering a wave, unfolding those ripples all the way back to where a Greek forebear sat pondering that wave’s forebear, extrapolating to the future and the realization of the circle and the power of feeling carried through time, beams delivered by angels. That angel beholding nature’s beauty through human portals of perception.

I have to build myself from the zero but i dont know how and im the only one who has the answer.

>>18524570
Will do.
Christ be with you anon.

There's a starman waiting in the sky duh dah dah duh duh dah dah, dah dah dah duh dahhhhhhhh!!!
Over over over it over over overit over the overmovet

>>18531624
Get a therapist/counselling

me goo boo boo bing ba. bing ba boo boo bim. blim blom pee pee is a gong cock poo bloo bloo blim

>>18527870
nice cope wagie

>>18531853
too expensive

el greko

>>18532034
No it isn't. It's your life you're talking about, nothing is more important. You're either too stupid and unmotivated to be helped or you can do it. Which are you?

>>18532768
ofc i'm too stupid and unmotivated. i did attend one for 6 months and nothings changed besides me spending a lot of money. i tried meds and that too didnt feel any different than not taking ones. i cant really afford spending more than half a salary to visit an experienced one (even if there are waiting line for a year or more)

>>18532794
>i tried meds and that too didnt feel any different than not taking ones
Does that mean you're going to stop trying meds? Didn't you do research, i.e five seconds of googling to find out that many people need to try multiple meds before they find the one that works?

>>18532794
Also do you even know what's wrong with you?

>>18532875
I tried like five or six different brands. It didnt help in a bit so i quit.

>>18532878
Complete lack of meaning in life and persistent apathy stemming from it. I never felt connected with anything, just like an observer thrown into this world to suffer until death.

>>18532895
Why

>>18532900
Why what?

>>18532941
What caused those symptoms? Things don't happen for no reason.

Born of broken family
working class suburb
car crashes, dumping ground, bonfire season all year.
well I didn't see his issues, nor did it matter.
I didn't know what a close friend was.
And to think what a mess.

Bright spark, keenly inclined,
the kind of childhood mischievous creativity only brought from lack of parents.
Green eyes,
like the hills.
we were only kids.
And to think I could laugh this much.

Hostile world, different schools,
study at night, if at all.
But I still had dreams and projects,
And he still had dreams, and projects,
the sort of technology no one but us knew.
And to think it would mean so much.

fade away, for my ego,
warped facade, new ideas
changed more than appearance.
Desires profit from years of self loathing.
And to think what I lost.

And now she's gone.

>>18532947
I dont know. I felt like that as long as i remember. Maybe some people are born like this.

>>18532966
Go to a primary care doctor who is under 55 and male. Explain and get as thoroughly checked as you can. If you aren't bullshitting to wallow in misery, then you have a medical problem.

>>18532984
I did get diagnosis of depression with neurotic tendencies.

>>18533042
hyperthyroidism can cause anhedonia, so can certain systemic infections. Birth defects in specific parts of the brain could cause it. Withdrawal from drugs can cause it. Chemical deficiencies can cause it. Lack of nutrition (in both your mother while pregnant and you) can cause it.
Aside from medical causes like severe depression and physical problems like certain parts of your brain being undersized, and the thyroid among others, it could be internal. >>18532895
>Complete lack of meaning in life
I missed the part where you said that apathy stems from it. If you are certain that apathy stems from a lack of meaning, that means your solution could be a mental one. Did you always have a lack of meaning, even in childhood? Were your parents/definitely-not-rapey-guardians emotionally present for you? Did they inspire you to create and follow your dreams as a child, or did they hinder that?

I want a transcendental experience but I don't know how without hallucinogens..

>>18533096
google jhana

>>18533090
>Did you always have a lack of meaning, even in childhood?
As far as i remember, i never found meaning in anything. If anything it was more like i did what others thought could bring a meaning in my life. It wasnt like i wanted something and my parents opposed it but rather my parents encouraged doing and involving myself into anything but i refused because it seemed meaningless to me. Even now when i talk with mom, my main argument is that i'm unable to create myself from zero. It seems like it doesnt come intuitively to me like to others. Ever present doubting at myself also tramples every single positive thing i can think of.

>>18533134
I assume that you want this to change. What do you intend to do about it

>>18501412
Bug ug a lug dug

can't deal w this bro

>>18501424
>>18501551
>>18509867
>>18512860
>>18513554
>>18521093
>>18527658
>>18531642
Based neo-neanderthal cavemen ug-ugging their way through life the extraordinarily chaddish hunks they are

>>18533158
I try to read philosophy books for a moment of clarity.

>>18501412
The transgender debate is ultimately a technological problem. If we can pop a pill and switch into the body of another sex then why would bigotry be pertinent? Even transphobes would turn into men for the day so they can enter toilets without fear, and realise that much like fear of dreadlocks or tassel loafers, transphobia is for the past. The same is true for Incels. That demographic will disappear when roboGFs are available.

I was emailing Nick Land about this and he dropped some Ethereum into my wallet, if you know what I mean.

/lit/ is the only decent board on this godforsaken website but when I get bored I venture to other boards and sometimes NSFW boards which are cancer for my mental health so I think I'll just stop using this site after all these years because I don't have the control to just go on /lit/ or other harmless boards but I do have the control to stop coming here altogether because of some weird mental association. Although this board has its fair share of retards it's actually infuriating to see how retarded some of the conversations are on boards like /int/.
Have a nice day /lit/
I hate women so much it's unreal

>>18507885
hey man quit being such a little bitch. Ask yourself
>Am I doing the things I could be doing that I know would improve my life?
This includes mundane shit
> Am I rising with the sun and sleeping in when it sets?
>Am I drinking enough water?
>Am I eating whole foods, fruits, and veggies, instead of processed shit?
>Am I running or doing cardio?
>Am I lifting
>Is my room clean?
>Is my penis washed?
>Do I have a job, even if its as shitty cashier
Bam you just got a list of shit to do. Stop being such a fag. This will clear up your mind.
>b-bbut my child hood, and m-my living situation and c-college, this isn't my passion!
if you said no to any of the the things i listed first your literally a child that didn't grow up and learn to functional like a normal human, stop bitching about the past and do what you can
godspeeed

i had an epiphany last night and now believe access to capital should be a human right
i was a fucking socialist lmao

>>18534135
He finally understands

>>18501578
philosophy degrees are for law school

>>18501412
The wide, round rump straining against the purple lycra pants of the white woman in front of him in line at the corner shop stirred in D'Quan dim, dreamlike memories of the Serengeti buried in his blood, setting his heart pounding like a jungle drum and his long coal-black pestle nudging the fabric of his basketball shorts.

me: yes, the tracking number on my package is 13o1ps443x
customer service assistant: can you repeat that to me?
me: yes that's one, three 'O' as an 'opposum', one, 'P' as in 'psychology', four, four, three and 'X' as in Xylophone
customer service assistant: okay thanks im looking that up right now

If I don't sleep tonight I am legitimately worried I may do something regrettable.

>>18501578
why don't you apply for the philosopher jobs?

>>18527755
see how you feel five years in

>>18501412
I gave a menagered eating to the clumpless ring stick that maneuvers my up ghoul hoshimato

To all anons writing prose and feeling like its dogshit, something that helped me was an interview recently with Kim Stanley Robinson that I saw live where he explains his novels as “eyewitness accounts”.

If you’ve ever read a KSR novel, there’s so many goddamned words and they’re very easy to read. The man wrote hundreds of thousands of words describing the surface of Mars and none of it reads like fiction, it doesn’t have that fake tryhard tone that lots of amateur prose has.

He explained that his technique is to give a big fuck you to all that “show don’t tell shit”, to abandon all the sensory immersion shit that people try to write. Tell a story from a character’s perspective the same way you’d tell a story in real life. Don’t try and get your reader to “feel the scene”, don’t acknowledge that it’s fiction by trying to over-write it. Think of it as an eyewitness account of a fictional event.

>>18534723
really?

“Obscene”

Unknown aromas fill the air
Vaguely familiar
I walk closer to their door
Ammonia and shit
I swing the door open
Sperm and excrement
Finishing sodomites
Faggotry


“Beast”

Her hair was like autumn
Her arms were long
And her frame sturdy
She swung from limb to limb
Like an orangutan
She was an orangutan
It was love at first sight
“Freud”

Initial ejaculation
Momentous marker
Of pubescence
Simultaneous flatulence
Triggers interesting results
Fetishization is expected


“Score”

Exchange is efficacious
Cock courts cunt
Intercourse ensues

Allan

There is a connection to made between Dostoyevsky and Bladee

>>18533397
I don't know what you mean, pray tell what the fuck do you mean? Did he give you the D?

The Intolerant always wins

Can someone lend me 100 bucks in crypto?

give me ten million dollars
give me fifteen minutes

Change of speed
Change of style
Change of scene
With no regrets
A different colour a different shade
With all of these mistakes are made
So you say
Do re me fa so la so la so la so fa me re

>>18516951
>>18517780
>0 replies to this golden reference

>>18537018
i can hear the bassline

Some form of labor exploitation are more justifiable than others

>>18537044
thanks for the (you) anon, very thoughtful of you. checked

because the first US colonies were basically corporate ventures by lords seeking to expand their plantation holdings, and the civil war was later a fight of industrialism vs. luddite traditionalism, it therefore follows that the civil war was basically the first cyberpunk corpo war

>>18535561
sounds awful

>>18536473
elaborate please