/lit/ - Literature

And for the leaves of grass,
for I could not bend low, brushed my ankles as the violinist sails their bow gently across the strings.
Can I answer how these compare to the storm of this night hence?
I only hope the dawn will answer in brilliant rhyme.

>>18594701
Bad

I'm a poet
And I didn't know it

Just Monika
--

Fictional love with real impact
leaves one lonely with longing.
His heart, full with waifus jam-packed
Fictional love with real impact
each one a briefly passing fling
will his heart for true love still ring.
Fictional love with real impact
leaves one lonely with longing.

So so so so so, so so so so so much
wayward antagonism sprouting spouting spitting spurting
splurging shifting splitting
ow ow ow, ow ow ow, ow ow ow ouch
I I, I I, I I I I, nevermind, Im I Im, Im I I I
do not understand, wait yes I do
I do it too
you you, you you, you you you you
will be beared, sometimes I’ll care, and the ugliness supposedly representing scorn ridicule disdain dissent righteous mock of your sardonic eyes will be fed more sight
see see see see, you see see see
some poems will alter, some poets will falter
bare persistence of such ugliness reigns rains rains rains rains rains rains

>>18596086
>will be beared, sometimes I’ll care, and the ugliness supposedly representing scorn ridicule disdain dissent righteous mock of your sardonic eyes will be fed more sight
what was the thought behind this long as fuck line?

Janny blow me tranny
Funny go flee fanny
You do it for the money #zero
who blew it more?ur maommy #weknow

*drops quill*

What can I hope for now from this fresh meeting,
From this day’s still tightly unopened flower?
Paradise and Hell open to me in greeting:
What hesitation rules my inward power! –
No further doubt! She’s there at Heaven’s door,
And one is gathered in her arms once more.

>>18596027
Based repetition
>>18596086
Meds
>>18596143
Based
>>18596231
Cringe

Forsyn uden Formål:
Mit Centrum er en kemisk Reaktion,
min Periferi er en optisk Illusion.
En Cirkel omringet af evig Nat,
men herinde lyser en Glød besat.

Nøgterne Neuroner nærlæser Spejlbilledet i Vinduet.

Selvkonstrueret Skizofreni, fast Fantasme.

Fortolk Tomrummet!
Fnis af Selvmodsigelsen!
Fortær Svælget!


translation


Providence without Purpose:
My Centre is a chemical Reaction,
my Circumference is an optical Illusion.
A Circle surrounded by Eternal Night,
but inside shines a Glow obsessed.

Neutral Neurons analyze the Reflection in the Window.

Self-Constructed Schizophrenia, firm Phantasm.

Interpret the Void!
Understand the Contradiction!
Giggle at the Isolation!
Consume the Abyss!

>>18594695
That
Dirty dumb hole
Sold her soul
For coal

Love a slut to sing and strut
And love the boys to ring in poise
Love the child who brings the wild
Insects hence are brought
Spill some soil on treaden grass
And spill the wine when tempers lasts
Spill the times through lensless eyes
Whoever tries and dies dismayed
Though poorly sung has sung at last

at forstå intet:
møllens konstant roterende vinger rager spørgende
og fra en klar himmel styrter hinsides lynild som svar
erotisk sluger flammerne møllen i en enkelt mundfuld
nu blæser vinden frit omkring - ikke flere spørgsmål


translation


to understand nothing:
the mill's constantly rotating blades poke questioningly
and from a clear sky plunge ethereal lightning in response
erotically, the flames swallow the mill in a single mouthful
now the wind blows unhindered - no more questions

Writing this for a Broadway musical, what do you think?
> Who do you think is behind the news?
> Perpetuating modern attitudes?
> Creating media full of nudes?
> It's the Jews!

> How d'ya think things got this way?
> When in vogue did come anarchay?
> I don't know but what do I say?
> It's the Jews!

> Who did Hitler try to stop?
> How'd those towers ever drop?
> Why won't you ever reach the top?
> It's the Jews!

>Who can't I blame? What is their name? They're all the same,
>It's the Jews!
What music should I put this to by the way?

And though we might at times think it foolish
Pulling toward barren ends the shared weight of excess
And in the months and miles of forlorn gasps, strides strode ruleless,
Ruthless men might make from reeds leads to tug
And in the fields where milk sours and honey like amber beads of sweat on lips
Sweetness is a shower in the drought of thought, though it's for route we sought
So on away and we might ask if we are pulling or pulled:
Roots of weeds through ruts of Earth
When boots trudged in hardening mud make mock castle steps for the few who roost
Though those who pass to pass the past, for hearths of man can never last,
Are fond of things that never last
But neither forest where hearts of men are torn from tasks
For nothing lasts and ends unseen, remain unseen
but to eyes of remains and dreams

>>18597021
I miss fabricating Rupi Kaur poems

there's an abyss between us
but i still love you
as earth loves the moon
dancing in circles
at a distance

>>18597264
I have made this for you

Angelic, white wings
Flutter frantic for reprieve
Clinking off a bulb

>>18597337
Art

>>18594695
You post
But don't rate

You 404
Our fate

>>18598470
>this sounds better.
You post
But don't rate

A 404
Our fate

>>18597264
have one

>>18596139
why

>>18598940
it upsets any attempt at rhythm and is the worst part. also why post a poem and not elaborate on it when someone asks?

>>18597264

SISTERHOOD

leaving the restaurant
i passed a table
on which someone had left a
$20 tip

the waitress was busy
and had not yet come back to clear

that $20 bill is in my purse now but
it's in her purse too

we are all one
we are all women
we are all human beings

when i return to that restaurant
i will smile
at the waitress

because we are holding hands

although

she does not know it

— by rupi kaur

>>18598956
As bad as it is, it's crucial to the understanding of the entire thing.(I could go into the significance of that more, assuming that you truly captured, in some form, an "absolute experience" with it's words running through your inviolate, phenomenological reality) And, it seems to be a thing worth criticizing to you. I honestly appreciate that. Anyways, also, there seems to be at least a few reasons why to post a poem and not elaborate on it when someone asks, and in this case I did just that because, haha, well, I was being cautious. As much as I enjoy being here, so do so many "fucked up" others-you can't deny that. Some people here make me feel as though they are ruining the place.(Another thing I would love to get into, albeit it's not that bad) Perhaps you may even think that of me.

So I got an exam in like 2 hours and I'm scared shitless so I decided to write a poem as one does.

sidewalk soaking in green shadows
cold under my bare feet
so i then dip my toes in the heated sand
look up
i see how still the sky is
i can't feel free or peaceful
i struggle to breathe
i dance with my hands catching the oval lights
hoping they will wash away the disturbed within me
but the air won't move
there's no crack for me to crawl through
so i could burn all the ringness in my chest and stomach
and exhale a cloud of smoke

>>18596027
i like this anon

The tiger
Destroyed his cage
Yes
YES
The tiger is out

>>18599569
thanks, but I fucked up the meter. Working on a limerick about my ban for posting porn on /sp/, but amphibrachs are hard.

>>18599862
sounds good man.

instead of 'fictional love with real impact' you could use 'fictional love so real this pact' for a little variety in the middle

'a run in the rain'

A run started with full fledge purpose,
quickly becomes more of a trod,
the sky turned gray,
as home drifts away,
but yet i run, on and on,

small drops turn waves,
as deluge now rains above,
my clothes now heavy,
turn weight from the cloth,
but yet i run, on and on,

No shirt so heavy,
could now break my stride,
A summer shower now never,
could cripple my pride,
from foot to foot,
and toe to toe,
my run goes on, irrespective of show.

>>18596890
best poem ive read in weeks, really good job.

Does anyone have any tips for writing poetry and keeping the metre consistent?

also what the fuck is this new captcha seriously what the fuck

Bump

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQdr8FT2Nl0

Rap is the only true channel for modern day poetry.

>>18598932
jej

>>18594695
O gracious sea,
Guardian of the depths,
Pray reveal to me
The secrets in your
Grave for many deaths.

O gracious sea,
Who rages and turns
And leaves no man be,
And storms and crashes
And disrupts all returns.

O gracious sea,
Chasm of life,
Play out honestly
Your shrieks of joy
and cantos of strife

O gracious sea,
Realm of the Earth-shaker,
Hear now my plea:
Drag me not down
To the tomb of that whaler.

O gracious sea,
Darker than wine,
Turn your eyes and see:
Behold now,
I sail your brine.

>>18594701
I think this is a great start, and the imagery hits, but I think you could be more concise. Are you trying to express a sort of writer's block?
>>18596027
In some ways, you're a fucking faggot. But in other ways, this is a pretty genuine poem. If only you weren't a weeb.
>>18596231
I think the second half is better than the first half. I think you could change a few words, like "she waits at heaven's door", and generally you could make the first three lines flow better.
>>18597021
I'm going to throw up.

another bump

Stench accentuated by cement of the walls, ceiling and floor
a novelistically backgrounded smell caressed a piece of contrived grace
in echoes of outer rooms, I placed grace compared to whispers outside a tomb
with tempered hopelessness, inflected more grace for it’s own sake
other figures of drowned, resounded form, too, used breath only as used
by their spirit
still hear it
a song breached all along the anguished stretch between each breath
concresc—interrupted by processions
of cemented introductions
again the concrescence
although it burgeoned, flattened was it’s essence
concrescence of that which composes what I am, and how I ultimately enact myself
cemented inductions interrupted
all the way to the prison cell

>>18602804
what form is this? i like it but the meter is not consistent enough across stanza

>>18596027
Is 'lonely with longing' the new 'livid with rage'? Otherwise pretty good.

A bit out of a rap song i wrote. Love how nonsensical it seems on the surface
I got this pregnant snake
Stay surrounded by long hairs
A plethora of maniacs
And spiral stairs
Make your water break
In the apple store
Sink or swim, who fucking cares
Cut the birth cords
Press send
Yeah thick
Gaga can't handle this shit
Headed for the Sammy Davis wing
Throw up a black hole at the entrance of linens n things
On the way
Never call it a day
Visit Tesla's grave for the ninth time today
Still on the way
Bigger wigs
I'm in your area
I know the first three numbers
I'm in
When you come out
Your shit is gone
You'll catch a jpeg to the head
Über reach
You're an intern
On Wikileaks
Most loved therefore most hated
Come and knock on the door we've been waiting for you
Game changer
Reclusive aggressive
Yingin and yanging noided
Info warrior jack the hacker
The rolling stoner
Profit on disaster
My existence is a
Momentary lapse of reason
Got the DNA of gothic lemons
Shred it thirteen times
Out of eleven
Your bad ideas are the ATM
Shed my skin
Leave it for the homeless
To sleep it
Prodigal, fuck that nautical
Teachin' bitches how to swim
>>18594701
Not my thing at all.
>>18597374
Why clinking? If its a moth, wouldnt it be soundless?

The rupi kaur poems here are generally funny

>>18605947
this is awful lol.

>>18605879
Admittedly, my friend, there is no set metre.

>>18606007
How about the lines
Having conversations with your car alarm
When you come out your shit is gone

>>18605947
Pretty interesting portrayal of digital criminals and the artist. Love it.
Especially the lines "your bad idras are the atm shed my skin, leave it for the homeless to sleep in, prodigal, fuck that, nautical, teaching bitches how to swim"

Sonnet

How many masks wear we, and undermasks,
Upon our countenance of soul, and when,
If for self-sport the soul itself unmasks,
Knows it the last mask off and the face plain?
The true mask feels no inside to the mask
But looks out of the mask by co-masked eyes.
Whatever consciousness begins the task
The task's accepted use to sleepness ties.
Like a child frighted by its mirrored faces,
Our souls, that children are, being thought-losing,
Foist otherness upon their seen grimaces
And get a whole world on their forgot causing;
And, when a thought would unmask our soul's masking,
Itself goes not unmasked to the unmasking.

>>18605947
It is a moth, and they do make a sound when they bounce off a bulb. It's not loud but it's there, and it's a clink
t. outdoorsman

also, I'd give feedback on yours in return but it's just so far out from all my poetic or even lyric preferences (even including absurdism) that it'd all be very biased and admittedly wouldn't be fair to you

>fuck this new captcha

>>18596027
>Fictional love with real impact
abstractions do too much of the work here. how would you convey this with imagery, without using the words fictional or real?
>lonely with longing
redundant
>full
>jam-packed
redundant
>briefly passing fling
redundant
>will his heart for true love still ring.
cliche, convoluted, should end in question mark
nice premise but needs work

>>18597245
Give me feedback, losers

>>18597245
>>18597245
This has no idea where it's at. There isn't one solid place I could nail down, speaking on imagery, and then build from. It's hollow--an empty television box sealed shut.

>>18607411
Here's your mask

I cannot hold a single candle
(glowstick, torch, or other contraption)
to the men who came before me.

>>18607702
sounds like you don't know how to purchase and install a tv( I'm not him)

>>18608530
Then your reading comprehension is what I expect from this board

>>18608763
like you could even explain that, you practically replied with nothing, such as I expect from this board

>>18608831
There's nothing in my response like there's nothing in the wind

>>18596027
Doki doki is super super cute! I like how you tried to pastiche the monika style

Wicker man where are your hands,
I come from the Rowan Tree-
do your ashes smoulder on,
or are you broken free?
Did you drink it Wicker man,
my potion by the Rowan Tree,
or did you lose it in the brook
crafting ten fish out of three?

There's winding branches folding
palms cradled by their thorns-
that slick peat piercing cheeks and gums
and swallowed smoke its thrall.
I see nothing left here Wicker man,
but for flowers blooming blue-
new grass is growing Wicker man,
I'll plant a tree for you.

>>18609807
I love this, it's all well done. I don't get the ten fish out of three line, though it could just be me

>>18609906
Thank you!

>I don't get the ten fish out of three line, though it could just be me

Writing, I was thinking about Gordon Strachan's theory that Jesus came to the British Isles to learn from the druids.