/lit/ - Literature

What does that pic have to do with writing?

>>18646001
Viking writing is best writing

> Viking Harald

> Harald er en rå vikingkriger. Sist måned brant og angrep han Lindisfarne.
> Nå er han på vei tilbake til Norge i et langskip. Marit og jeg venter på ham ved havnen. Hun har på seg en kjole. Hun holder en bukett med blomster. Jeg tror hun ser pen ut.
> «Harald er så høy,» sier Marit.
> «Jeg er så høy som han,» sier Magnus.
> «Der er han! Kom hit, Harald!»
> «God dag, Magnus og Marit. Hvordan har dere det?» spør Harald.
> «Velkommen tilbake, Harald. Disse blomstene er for deg. Hvordan var Lindisfarne?»
> «Tusen takk for blomstene, Marit,» sier Harald. «Lindisfarne var jo kjempegøy. Jeg har brent ned tre tårn og angrepet fem munker.»
> «Wow!»
> «Nå skal jeg gå til baren og drikke øl,» sier Harald. Ha det bra, dere to!»


Viking Harald

Harald is a fierce Viking warrior. Last month, he burned and attacked Lindisfarne.
Today he is coming back home to Norway in a longship. Marit and I are waiting for him at the harbor. She is wearing a dress. She is holding a bouquet of flowers. I think she looks pretty.
“Harald is so tall,” says Marit.
“I am as tall as he is,” says Magnus.
“There he is! Come over here, Harald!”
“Good day, Magnus and Marit. How are you?” asks Harald.
“Welcome back, Harald. These flowers are for you. How was Lindisfarne?”
“Thank you very much for the flowers, Marit,” says Harald. “Lindisfarne was a great fun. I burned down three towers and attacked five monks.”
“Wow!”
“Now I'll go to the bar and drink beer," says Harald. Goodbye, you two!”

>>18644368
Proust and Joyce each wrote a novel that wasn't very good and then reworked it into a similar and significantly better novel. I forget what the originals are called but if you read the wikipedia pages for In Search of Lost Time or Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man they'll be on there.
The point is: that guy shouldn't worry about writing something that doesn't live up to his idea

If pagans are so strong why did they let lose to Christianity? Why do no pagan traditions exist? Why are the only modern pagans also the ones who are considered the most deplorable members of society?

>>18646037
our literature is better

>>18646007
Based
It sounds like those dialogues in textbooks

>>18645980
>pol-bait OP
i'm sure this thread is going to attract nothing but good faith newfags

>>18646001
Nothing whatsoever. Seething larpagans will take any opportunity to talk about how noble and strong they are, but everybody's a viking until the goofy lad in a dress cuts down the sacred groves.

>>18646065
Yeah, the Texas Norwegian writing club did it as an exercise to learn Norwegian

>>18646074
It doesn't matter anymore, /wg/'s dead. So I expect nothing less than the absolute shit.

>>18646007
Feels weird as a present-tense reader not reading something past-tense for once.

>>18646183
I thought /lit/ as a whole was dead

>>18646197
/wg/ is even more dead since at the very least, there were writers here once before they were purged.

>>18646183
yet you still post every thread babbling the same inane nonsense
>the thread is shit
just leave. you're part of the problem. discuss writing

>>18646196
at the time that we wrote this, we hadn't learned how to do past tense in Norwegian. Personally I think that the present <--> past tense learning hill is the one thing that allows you to effectively communicate in a different language.

>>18646059
Lol, literature from a people who were illiterate! Nordcucks didnt know civilization until the Romans brought it to them.

>>18646202
Well I'm a writer, and I'm struggling with dialogue and talking-head syndrome in a piece I'm working on. Now we have something to talk about.

>>18646222
Anon, you don't need to lie to protect this dying general.

>>18646224
Anything to keep me focused on writing and away from /fgoalter/ wiling my days away

>>18646183
Yeah, It’s depressing to see how far /wg/ fell but it really doesn’t come to a shock to me. It merely reinforces my contempt I have for the pseuds here. Ruin a great General just to protect their delusion and ego. Wish they just fucked off.

>>18646222
>talking-head syndrome
only a problem if you feel it's a problem. I'll take you in good faith and assume you think it is one and not just an On Writing tier pleb who's looking for surface level problems
action, tone of voice, action of character. the evidence of the mood of the character
almost never the actual mood and feelings of the character
>>18646224
>>18646238
you're both schizophrenic and likely just 'victimized' characters or newfags who got scathing crit once and hold resentment
I've been on /wg/ for way too fucking long and it's pretty much the same as always. we're in a spell of low effort posting, it's a natural process of the waxing and waning of people like you and people who are interested in discussing writing

>>18646253
>you're both schizophrenic and likely just 'victimized' characters or newfags who got scathing crit once and hold resentment
Nope, posted my work here once and never got a scathing crit. Don't know why you have to resort to that. But it could just be you trying to deflect.

>>18646263
can you post it again here

>>18646263
the highest proponent of meta whining are those two actors. don't take it personally if it doesn't apply to you
rather than bringing down the quality of the thread why don't you reply to nordfag or >>18646222
surely you do write and have opinions and experiences to share and discuss? you aren't just here to chronically shit post?

>>18646274
Yea, anon, I post my work and I get a bunch of scathing crits. I know how this is works. Now stop trying to deflect.

>>18646275
The nordfag? You mean the shitposters?

>>18646253
You make a good point about talking-heads. I'm just hyper sensitive about dialogue this week; I've been watching too many movies with bad dialogue. I saw four to five lines of floating text and thought it was a mistake. Turns out, it just needed some better context around it and it moved nicely. Sometimes it's not always the dialogue's fault.

>>18646222
read shapes of fiction. the secret is apparently to just interrupt the action or dialogue with some snippet of memory or imagination.

>>18646282
it's always the same thing, isn't it. At least this time it isn't one of the usual excuses for not posting samples
> I'm traditionally published
> I'm going to be traditionally published
> my work is too good for /wg/
> you guys are going to steal my ideas

>>18646289
yes, he has shared his writing. say something about it
or say something about talking-head syndrome
or share a recent writing experience
or ask your own question
or post your work
anything related to writing and not just vapid complaints that perpetuate the problem that you're complaining about

>>18646299
Not even making excuses, I know anon who gave good critiques and how to improve but nothing more than shit critiques

>>18646306
and yet another excuse. Always the same ol thing

>>18646295
it's easy to get into your own head about what's wrong with your writing. have faith that your intentions are good. you'll be able to see flaws more clearly after a bit of time away from it. note your nitpicks so that a future you can look on it with fresh eyes and move on
something that I found to make my dialogue feel less amateur is letting it breathe. 'muh realism' isn't a good reason for terse, boring dialogue. longer passages of dialogue helped my dialogue feel more comfortable and less like awkward lines in space

>>18645980
All "viking" writing we have was made by Christians, you retarded faggot.

I miss "How is your novel progressing?" OP's. I suspect they auto filtered some of the more insufferable new posters

>>18646318
Yes, yes, anon, excuses. Not him, but here’s my story. Now shit on it, because that’s what you will do.

>>18646351
Oh they definitely filtered people, especially with the anime OPs. Made /wg/ bearable and comfy.

>>18646358
Absolute dogshit. The fuck am I reading some YA bullshit.

>>18646358
>Now shit on it, because that’s what you will do.
you sound like you have personality problems. there's nothing more annoying than taking time to give someone crit and they have an autistic melt down
by saying this you've given yourself the tools needed to dismiss any negative criticism as "they're just shitting on it because they're mean anons :("
next time you post this or anything else just pose as a normal person. maybe react to any criticism offered like a normal person too. I like giving crits from time to time but it's so tiring to be met with constant insecure deflections

More VIKING writings here

>>18645825
>>18645804

>>18646376
>Proves me right
Every time. Don’t know why I even bother anymore.

>>18646382
And then he has the audacity to say its an "excuse" fucker can't help himself.

>>18646382
bro read you insecure little baby man. literally nothing I said even addresses the content of your writing, only the sad behaviors and presented character behind your posts
you're jumping to conclusions and reacting to those conclusions emotionally. just act normal

>>18646397
Sure, anon, whatever you say. God forbid something good ever come from these thread.

>>18646358
Justify that text, nigga!
You have some tense clash in the second paragraph, third sentence. "hadn't been" and "are" clash, change one or the other
The flow felt a lot nicer after the fourth paragraph. I think closing the first and second paragraphs together will help it read a little smoother. Clearly, context would help too so we can understand who the characters are. It's implicit and then explicit that the MC is dreading the end of his regular high school life, so that's helpful.
You can remove the line about the MC's heart sinking and just replace it with "My heart sank" or some other line. Calling out the cliche is fine, but I think there's more inventive ways around it.
Any particular feedback you're looking for? It's hard to do anything but nitpick without a specific guide from you.

>>18646446
No, not really.

>>18646446
>It's implicit and then explicit that the MC is dreading the end of his regular high school life, so that's helpful.
>His
Read the filename. God damn, not even that anon but the MC is a female. How can you give critique if you fail even at that?

Any recommended writing apps for Android?

>>18646466
None

Catch me if you can cos I'm an England man.

>>18646460
You're right. The line at the end about forcing an erection threw me off. The phrasing makes it sound like the MC is trying to force an erection from his own body.

>want to write a fantasy story, have a cool idea
>rarely read fantasy, get some books
>except Tolkien and GRRM everything feels flat and retarded, literally want to viomite now after reading "assassin's apprentice" it was so fucking bad yet so popular
Fuck that I will make my own type of fantasy.

>>18646460
this has nothing to do with his ability to crit
it seems almost deliberately avoiding clarifying the gender of the perspective voice, especially the line about forcing an erection
why would you dismiss his critique based on this? it's fine feedback

>>18646473
Have you never heard of clitoral erection

>>18646478
read Alice in Wonderland, Grimm's tales/Andersens tales and Gormenghast
don't read contemporaries. you're going to get little more than derivative garbage unless you dig really deep

Do people write to fill a word quota, or just write to what they feel is complete? I kind of think writing to fill a quota makes someone write just to meet it rather than making sure each word matters.

>>18646492
I couldn't imagine writing to fill a word quota in creative writing. some things need more words to express and some less, forcing a story outside of it's intended bounds seems a good way to hemorrhage quality

>>18646478
When you do, let me know so I can write a book in it. Make it something cool too so I can shoehorn elements of it into my current book

>>18646507
brandon sandersen get out of the thread and go get some ideas from RR

>OP

>>18646466
I just use an app called ColorNote. I used it on my E4 Moto and it worked fine. Transferred it over to my Samsung J7 and it works fine as well. When I finish or I know I'll be back at my PC I'll send it to my email and paste it into Scrivener later.

>>18646492
I finish a chapter when I feel it has nothing else in the scene(s) that flow right. I think way early on I did try to meet a certain word count for chapters, but I stopped doing it since it wasn't making me any more productive.

>>18646466
>writing on a phone
fuck me that sounds hellish. I can barely type up a text without making a ton of typos

Pagans on the internet:
>>18645980
Pagans in real life:
<<<<<<

>>18646546
I did the same for word count. My first two books had chapters clearing 10,000 word each, broken into four 2500 word sections just because I thought those were round numbers to reach. My beta readers weren't very pleased about them.

>>18645980
>strong pagan
I don't see your kind killing any jews, fag. just muslims and christians, which implies you're all golems

there is a direct relationship between the image and text in the OP and the quality of a thread
let this be a lesson. samposting and comfy writing aesthetics only

>>18646560
Last thread was shit as well.

>>18646562
last thread on-topic discussion nearly doubled off-topic. there was one sperg out and it wasn't even derailing because he was shitting his pants over some anons writing
pretty good for /wg/ standards. normally pointless off-topic shitposting doubles on-topic

>>18646579
The last thread was shit by normal standard. The fuck are you on about.

>>18646306
I make pretty strong effort posts fairly often, usually I run out the character count when I do a crit, but so many of the excerpts posted in these threads need a fundamental change in attitude on behalf of the author in order to be decent, so it's not worth the effort. Behold my mighty critiquing brilliance, as I explain the issues with >>18646358
First and foremost, try to find a format which allows easy copy/paste, as it makes it easier to quote sections for line-by-line analyses.

There are several issues in your writing, all of which are relatively easy to fix. The tone and pacing are all over the place. The first two lines are compelling, because they give the impression of a highly neurotic narrator. This is at odds with the next two sentences because now your narrator has gone from flighty and hyper-fixated on sensory details to slow brooding. I would suggest replacing the first two paragraphs with this sort of sensory immersion, a list of minor complaints to indicate that your narrator is highly agitated about something, given your posts ITT I would suggest you take it in this direction because neurosis and hyperfixation seems to come naturally to you.

A much bigger issue: the impression I get is that our narrator is a teenage girl who has recently been let out of a three-month stay at a mental health facility, and now faces the unsavory prospect of ending her boring relationship with a slightly-older man. She has recently suffered some kind of mental breakdown which resulted in a loss of her social circle and an overall lack of direction in life. If this is the case, you should absolutely clarify that. If this is about something else, I am not picking up on that at all. Actually, now that I'm going through it again, I realize that this girl has actually graduated High School and that's why she feels as though she has lost her friends. The three months was just a break she took from her relationship with her boyfriend. I thought it was a stay in a psych ward because she's apparently been deprived of vanilla coke. I can't even begin to guess where this is going, but it seems boring.

So I'd rework what I said earlier. Ordinarily I'd just delete everything and redo the critique, but I think you'd benefit from seeing a reader's thought processes here. The first two lines were compelling, but it just falls apart after that. I have read so, so many of these goddamned stories in literary fiction magazines. "I'm a young woman, world full of options, but I feel bad because I don't have as many friends as I want and the boy who likes me is kind of boring." For some reason they all have the exact same ending, the main character shatters a priceless vase or burns down a shed, and everyone is super shocked and she's just sort of standing there pleased with herself. Please try to think up some kind of genuine conflict. Some kind of physical danger or something. Nobody wants to read about someone else being bored.

>>18646486
No, literally never before you just mentioned it. When women are aroused it's typically described as "getting wet" or something similar. Like imagine I described my male character getting horny like "I felt a rush of fluid flowing between my legs" in the sense that his blood was rushing into his penis.

>>18646638
>the impression I get is that our narrator is a teenage girl
Wow, anon, did you read the filename to get that one?

>>18646638
>The first two lines were compelling, but it just falls apart after that. I have read so, so many of these goddamned stories in literary fiction magazines. "I'm a young woman, world full of options, but I feel bad because I don't have as many friends as I want and the boy who likes me is kind of boring." For some reason they all have the exact same ending, the main character shatters a priceless vase or burns down a shed, and everyone is super shocked and she's just sort of standing there pleased with herself. Please try to think up some kind of genuine conflict. Some kind of physical danger or something. Nobody wants to read about someone else being bored.
These words went right to the bottom of a soul I didn't even know I had. I can almost picture the self-righteous teenage girl standing there pleased with her first act of rebellion because she has it so fucking hard. Writing is agony.

>>18646636
>people sharing
>giving crits
>helping each other with questions
yeah you're right, would have been better with more anime vs. pseud discourse

>>18646663
Now that you mention it, it would have been more or less impossible to figure it out from the text. And in fact, like other anons have said, you would probably assume the exact opposite based on the last line.

>>18646662
>Clitoral erection occurs when the corpora cavernosa, two expandable erectile structures, become engorged with blood.
Women, when sexually aroused, do get an erection in the clitoris. But it is not, however, exclusively, associated with sexual arousal.

>>18646663
why are you so vitriolic over this gender shit. you're not conveying the gender well and the word erection has a male connotation, regardless of your intentions

>>18646683
Okay dude, go ahead and post on twitter about "normalize female erections" and I'm sure you'll find people who agree with you. I'm just saying it confuses the shit out of people when your female narrator says she is having trouble getting a boner.

>>18646719
Not even the author of that piece, I'm just baffled at how so many people miss reading the filename that explicitly states the POV is female. If they fail to pick up on that, something that's literally in front of their eyes, then their critique becomes suspect.

>>18646727
the critique is of the content within the writing. most people don't look at filenames because who fucking cares
if it's not conveyed within the scope of their writing but they expect you to have the information, then the writing has in part failed

>>18646727
The issue is pretty clear. If you write that the piece is about a woman POV, then say she's having trouble getting a boner, you're going to have some pretty clear questions. The filename could be randomized. It's the writing content that's unclear. In fact, the ending line in a vacuum makes me think it's a homosexual relationship.

This is like when trannies got mad at the tampon company for making advertisement for only women. Men can menstruate too, in limited circumstances and if you use a liberal definition of the word menstruate

A New Zealand commercial for Libra tampons has been pulled from the air for implying that transgender women are not actually female since they don't menstruate.

A New Zealand commercial for Libra tampons has been pulled from the air for implying that transgender women are not actually female since they don't menstruate.

The ad opens with a transgender woman primping next to a cute blonde in the bathroom of a nightclub. Both women try to outdo one another, competitively applying mascara, lip gloss, and adjusting their bras. The smaller blonde is depicted as winning after she pulls out a tampon. The transgender female storms out, and the tag line "Libra gets girls" fills the screen.

The advertisement, which was posted on Libra's Facebook on December 21 and since then has been playing on New Zealand television, provoked a bevy of complaints.

One commenter on Libra's Facebook page noted, "So, for the females who've gone through the likes of menopause or hysterectomies I suppose Libra failed to get those girls."

Agender New Zealand president Cherise Witehira called the ad "blatantly transphobic.

Libra has apologized for offending the transgender community and has pulled the commercial.

>>18646740
Ah, yes, randomize when it’s clear as day the author of that work type it that way since how can it be randomized into saying “working on a female pov”.

>>18646733
The critique becomes worthless if people ignore key information.

>>18646747

>>18646747
low reading comp. it might as well be randomized because a filename has no bearing on the content of the writing
>>18646752
its key information which is neither key to the circumstances of the writing nor contained within the writing itself so its irrelevant to the critique
you're a fucking idiot

>>18646758
Do you not name your filenames?

>muh snownigger delusions
lmao

why are there so many illiterates in /wg/

>>18646746
>Men can menstruate too, in limited circumstances and if you use a liberal definition of the word menstruate

>>18646772
People mistake convoluted and long-winded writing style as good here.

>>18646779
>misconstrues a question and answers as if it were addressing his dumb ass opinions on something else
literally the problem. modern people need a brain chip that only allows them to read at a certain wpm for fear of them skipping words and misinterpreting
people have poor reading comprehension because other people like convoluted and long-winded writing styles? do you even think before you post?

>>18646789
>do you even think before you post?
There, I shortened it. No need for the long-winded and convoluted question.

>>18646775
You can menstruate or simulate menstruation if you pour tomato sauce in your boxers once a month and taking a lot of laxatives to induce pain in your colon. So you could write a story about someone menstruating, but when people say that it's from a female pov, you could be a retard and say that you cannot assume that someone who is menstruating is female. In fact, the story is from the pov of a man, you even named the filename manliest_man_man.jpg

>>18646798
kek'd
you're a retard with /wg/ spooked brainrot but at least you've got humor

>>18646775
male menstruation colloquially describes a type of bleeding in the urine or faeces caused either by surgical infections, or by schistosomiasis. Any person who bothers to do a minute research on google can literally look it up, but most post are like this >>18646800 who would rather shitpost.

>>18646638
>effort posting a schizo
>tfw I never get replies when I post

>>18646823
Don't know why you want to. The critique missed the mark and didn't realize the pov was female.

>>18646830
pills

>>18646836
meds

>>18646814
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcNco-mM700

>>18646840
>Do you bother to read from the definition from the medical community
>Or from a youtube channel
Jesus fucking christ, and people keep saying /wg/ isn't going to shit.

>>18646814
a colloquial usage which overturns the english speaking wide understanding of menstruation
when people say menstruation they don't think trannies with botch slits, they think of the biological process
it is such an extreme stretch to assume that these two usages of the phrase would be confused for the other and that the ad should be taken down

>>18646840
Sometimes I'm glad 4chanx just shows me the Youtube video title so I know what not to click on.

>>18646478
Check out Robert E. Howard.
>>18646358
I'd listen to what this anon >>18646638 is saying about the tone feeling out of sync from paragraph to paragraph. The writing isn't bad, but the flow could use some work. Keep at it bro.

>>18646857
>gmi posting an anon who's flung shit at anyone who replies to him
I'm writing a short story right now. I'll post it as soon as I finish. Reply to me when I do instead of these losers

>>18646851
>The term "menstruation", or its equivalent in native languages, is sometimes used by natives of affected areas to refer not only to menstrual bleeding, but also to refer to bleeding in the urine or from the anus caused by schistosomiasis.
People here really don't bother to do their own research?

>>18646862
No.

>>18646865
be nice :3 we are both Anonymous after all we are like brothers you know

>>18646869
no

>>18646863
you're failing to interpret the point
colloquially, the meaning is known as the biological process. I don't know if you're legitimately autistic or under such a heavy tranny rock that you legitimately believe that the common understanding of menstruation to mean a symptom of schistosomiasis
be it the medical community or some native communities these niche usages of the word aren't the common understanding

>>18646877
>colloquially
>in the language of ordinary or familiar conversation; informally.
Wow, anon, a bunch of people use a term informally. Especially when the term for male menstruation is only for people of the third world who don't speak a lick of english.

The most common place for female erections and male menstruations is Thailand

>>18646881
yes, welcome to the conversation, glad you could catch up
language as descriptive, i.e as used by normal human, beings would say that menstruation is a woman's process
language as prescriptive allows menstruation to be interpreted to allow men's menstruation but that's fucking retarded and no one thinks like that

>>18646886
If I go to Thailand and fuck both an expensive street whore and a ladyboy, will it give me enough inspiration to write a novel

>>18646891
yes but you won't have the language to express that experience
write a jungle asian whore isekai first to practice

>>18646877
>I don't know if you're legitimately autistic or under such a heavy tranny rock that you legitimately believe that the common understanding of menstruation to mean a symptom of schistosomiasis
>be it the medical community
Do some research next time.

>>18646897
I hate you all and your ESL level reading comprehensions
why are you using a non-english speaking nation to demonstrate the commonality of a certain usage and interpretation of a word
dumb fuck

>>18646897
Are you still upset about the whole "no one got that girls can have erections too, it's AKTCHUALLY pretty smart writing if you think about it" thing? Is this where we've landed?

>>18646908
Because, and as I stated before, The term "menstruation", or its equivalent in native languages, is sometimes used by natives of affected areas to refer not only to menstrual bleeding, but also to refer to bleeding in the urine or from the anus caused by schistosomiasis. Affected locals, uneducated at best, when this condition happened in men, thought it not of major concern before modern medical knowledge, and so referred to it as the male equivalent of female menstruation.

>>18646913
>schizo goes on meltdown because a flaw in their writing is revealed
wouldn't be surprised. you should have to pass a psych exam to share your writing

>>18646919
your not even addressing what is being said to you. this a closed conversation where you talk to yourself against an imagined boogeyman
this whole time you've been refuting something which has never been claimed or even argued
what the hell is wrong with you

>>18646922
If this is going to continue for another 80 posts or so, I better get some popcorn. I still like my headcannon that the original text was about a gay man rather than "a female POV". It made the text make more sense, too

>>18646913
No, but I do get bothered when idiots run their mouths on subjects they know nothing about.

>>18646919
I've never heard of mensuration with the second definition and I don't know what "natives" you're talking about.

>writer uses uncommon usage of a word
>readers assume it's the common usage
>writer gets mad and tells the readers they're wrong
just take a deep breath. everyone makes mistakes

>>18646951
No, it just proves /wg/ doesn’t know shit.

>>18646945
Do you even bother to do research on it? It's literally the second definition of male menstruation

>>18646955
yes, it's the /wg/ who is out to get you
you're writing could never be wrong, no not you
not my precious and perfect little baby
come dear, come suck on mamas erection

Kek, look at the state of this (((Wikipedia))) article

> In a medical sense, "male menstruation" colloquially describes a type of bleeding in the urine or faeces caused either by surgical infections, or by schistosomiasis, the latter reported in a handful of tropical countries and more recently en masse in countries where medical assistance is readily available.[1] In the context of antisemitic libels, it is the racist notion that male Jews are suffering of monthly menstrual bleeding, being part of the wider claim that Jews were collectively of feminine gender.

This article relies largely or entirely on a single source. (July 2020)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Male_menstruation

>>18646960
Don’t want to suck on your anterior end of the vulva

>>18646955
If your readers are confused about a usage of a word you used in your writing, the burden falls on you desu. If you know a word or definition is uncommon, better make it explicitly clear that the use and definition is the uncommon one

>>18646862
This >>18646865 isn't me, but I'll try and take a look anon. I'm writing a short story myself and try and give feedback on any thread I ask for it on.

>>18646962
>The single source has multiple sources that people can look up
Why is /wg/ shit?

>>18646974
why do you lurk a thread you hate

>>18646979
Why does /wg/ celebrate ignorance?

If anyone has time to look at how I introduce my monster in this short story, I'd appreciate it.

>>18646974
Go fix it on Wikipedia and delete that message :^) but I bet you won't because rhe wiki jannies will soon revert that change

>>18646983
because you have ghosts inside of your brain that speak too loud to hear others

>>18646560
I second samposting and comfy writing rather than larp shitters that can barely form sentences.

>>18646985
Don't you think the body proportions, silhouette, height, weight, general looks should be described before nostril size

>>18646988
Nigga don't project.

>>18647016
do you believe that you've been arguing with people over the existence of the definition of menstruation to include male menstruation or has the discussion actually been about the common perception and understanding of the word and how the majority of people don't give a fuck if a woman's pad company, which is selling pads designed for a woman's menstruation, doesn't use the word menstruation to account for male menstruation?
depending on your answer you may or may not want to consider committing yourself

>>18647042
Can't you read, anon? Why are you asking a question that has a obvious answer.

>>18646202
I'm writing. I'm trying to move past my hatred for detailed description by writing a novel that is all about descriptions. It's properly gonna be shit and I'll hate it when I'm done, but hey what can you do?
> t. guy who failed lit, lang classes and had to take composition for retards.

Can I get some feedback on the intro to my short story? It's called "Attack of the Vampire"

-"A little too much to drink tonight?" I muse silently to myself as I watch my target stagger down an alleyway. He unzips his pants to urinate and I'm on him in two seconds flat. I feel the heat of his body as I press against him, my hot breath stirring the ringlets of dainty hair behind his ears. I can smell it now, the hot aroma of anxiety as he pants and gasps in shock. My lips press against his neck. I push him against the wall. He pushes back, bucking hard inside the steel cage of my chiseled physique. And now I'm inside of him, and he is inside of me. My tongue flicks against his neck, drinking his sweet juices in. He's moaning, writhing, but he's powerless to my paralyzing venom. And then it's done. I step back, doubled over on my knees, gasping for breath. He collapses on the ground, sobbing. I trace the tip of my thumb across my bottom lip, catching the last drop of sweet nectar. I hold it briefly to the light. And now I'm ashamed. The humans in this town have become more vigilant. They have begun patrolling the alleys at night. It is harder to find easy prey. My bride is waiting at home, now too famished to hunt for herself. Was I too greedy? There is so little of him left, any more and I might suck him dry. We can't have another death in the headlines. Already my bride is too weak to travel. And I am almost too weak to hunt. I can't go home yet. I must find her some food. I will will find her the fattest meal, and I will take none of it for myself. When she finishes the prize I bring home tonight, she will be strong. We will travel to a new home. She will hunt again. Perhaps she will have so much energy that she will be able to get an erection.

>>18647133
Give up? There's several things that you can do.

>>18646202
I'm writing my newest chapter right now.

>>18647133
Are you replacing anything for your descriptions? I was thinking about approaching a novel from a description/exposition approach and getting rid of most dialogue, just as an experiment

>>18647190
Kek I'm too determined. I always wanted to write on the side, and I realized after getting hit by a car that if I don't do it now I won't do it in the future. Hell even if it's a shitty book that is self published, I'll feel proud knowing I completed it
>>18647203
Not really. Since you write what you know, my book will just be the MC biking in a fantasy world, and I want to describe the scenery detailed. There will be people, but I imagine most of the journey will be by himself.

I remember the early /wg/s where that one anon would post in every thread with some inane verbose essay that always started with "I'm working on a theory about..." and then 3k characters that amounted to "show, don't tell" or something equally simplistic. And now we're reduced to figuring out if women can get erections.

I honestly think what killed this general was one dude in every thread who gets hung up on some minor niggling technicality and won't let it go, and so when someone opens the thread its like 100+ posts back-and-forth of "well technically, sure, you can 'thrust' a blanket, but you can probably find a better word for that" and "no, you can't 'thrust' a blanket, dipshit"

>>18647011
Kek, good point anon. The idea was the face would appear first before the rest of the body became illuminated by the fire, but I guess that didn't come across. Either way, thanks for reading.

>>18646985
Despite all the description I found that your monster lacked character. It has that unfortunate quality of being script-like. It reads like a laundry list of anatomy
I wrote a bit inspired by your monster to try to demonstrate injecting character into it but I may have overdone it. This is a fun sort of thing to write

Looks like it's up to me to elevate the next thread. I'll start it off with a new excerpt of Blackula

>>18647273
Yes, because that's what we need, a poorly written copy of a classic.

>>18647276
>he doesn't know blackula anon
he might be retarded but atleast he's not an annoying fucking debbie downer
>>18647273
gl anon, hope you finish blackula soon. the project is retarded and it'd be nice to see you posting something less inane

>>18647273
Nah fuck that nigger shit. I'd rather have these larpan fucks with their useless poor memes then that shit

>>18647276
I believe what you mean is an African/Black reimagining of a classic

>>18647258
>anon posts his writing
>someone points out something shitty about it
>anon goes on insane tirade and enflames arguments
this shit is a tale as old as time

>>18647177
I hate it. I hope she manages to have an erection though.

>>18647177
That's one long paragraph. Nothing else jumps out at me.

>another day
>another thread
atleast I got 1k words down. I know I can do more but I took a break from writing and now my stamina is shit again

>>18646985
Quick note: the image of a fantasy outlaw smoking a cigarette is kind of jarring, because cigarettes are fairly modern.

But the monster. The imagery is good, but it reads like a description of a library or a repair log for a troublesome piece of machinery. I believe the thuds were trying to build suspense, and I think it would work better if there were some reaction from the main character, gradually growing more tense and wary as the thuds get closer. As it is now, he seems more curious than afraid.

The other guy said you should describe proportions before nostril size, but I think nostrils are a good place to start, especially if the scene is of a monster slowly walking into a circle of light. First his nose appears, then the rest of his face, and then his body. Again, the description here is so straight-forward and clinical that there is no tension in this scene. You might try having your character imagine what this monster could do with all these fearsome attributes.

Also, you tend to "front-load" your sentences. In the sense that once the second half of a sentence is read, you are required to rethink the first half.

The prose could be improved. I think if it you gave it a week and came back you'd see areas where it could be more fluid.

And I hate to bring out this tired cliche, but "show, don't tell." Nothing which indicates human intelligence? How about he does something unintelligent? Or behaves like an animal in some fashion?

Overall verdict: solid B idea, C- execution.

General discussion: why is everyone ending their stories with penis descriptions today?

Can someone give me initial thoughts on this vignette/"journal" entry I wrote please?

>>18647369
>why is everyone ending their stories with penis descriptions today?
because it's insanely based

>>18646183
why are people saying /wg/ is dead? looks pretty alive to me

>>18647386
typical general behavior
>thread is so shit
>proceeds to be an element that contributes to lower thread quality
many such cases and has been a topic here for ages. ignore it

>>18647369
>General discussion: why is everyone ending their stories with penis descriptions today?
They probably stole my penis idea.

>>18647371
>ideaguy
ideas aren't worth much, writing is 90% execution. just write it

>>18647272
better writer, worse editor
>several cases of possessive it's

>>18647371
>a bulletin pouring in from the reptile-Godhead
These are some pretty arcane metaphors you're throwing out here, anon. Try something a little simpler and more relatable to the common man. I would have written it more like "pumping through their minds like the coursing river of blood destined to engorge a woman's erection."

>>18647272
Incredible anon! I'm honored you not only read my passage, but wrote something for it as well. It's a little surreal seeing something I wrote re-written in such a better way. I think the tone is different from the rest of my story, but I can definitely see what you mean about adding more "character" to the description. If I saw these two passages on their own, I'd prefer yours. Thanks for the help!

>>18647406
based and colloquial-pilled

>>18647406
>a bulletin pouring in from the reptile-Godhead
This suggests a pretty poor understanding of Vedic ontology.

>>18647406
Were you able to pick up on what I was referring to there though?

>>18647369
Super helpful feedback anon, thanks. I know exactly what you--and that other anon--are saying. I'll have to re-visit the nose thing and see how it feels, but I'll definitely work on the description.
>General discussion: why is everyone ending their stories with penis descriptions today?
Kek, don't know about any other anons, but the fact that he has uncovered is actually relevant later in the story.

>>18647369
>General discussion: why is everyone ending their stories with penis descriptions today?
Latent faggotry.

>>18647425
I think I might. does it pour like a male menstruation?

>>18647433
Nah homie, if the brainstem poured like male menstruation it might make for a more interesting scene though.

>>18647369
I don't know man I think the idea of a fantasy setting with cigarettes is actually an interesting little blend. It's novel if nothing else.

>>18647456
most of it being jarring comes from it being at the opening of the passage
if you were reading monsteranons work from start to here, you would have the context to not be confused
it's just that smoking a cigarette sets a more modern expectation which creates a moment of dissonance as you continue on. it is a neat set piece though

>>18647398
Would you be more specific here, my friend?

>>18647470
ideas aren't worth much, writing is 90% execution. just write it

>>18647463
yeah I guess I see what you mean there, but personally I don't really mind having to go back and readjust my worldview/image as I read, at least not that much.

>>18647479
jarring can be good and interesting but jarring is jarring and monsteranon would do well to be aware of it if this is the start of his story
criticism doesn't mean insulting. it is how it is

>>18647483
no need to clarify that last point; I think we're all in agreement about criticism. That being said, are you the one who has told me twice now "ideas aren't worth much, writing is 90% execution. just write it"?

>>18647498
once, the sentiment is common sense. get writing idea-boy

>>18647500
Who are some of your favorite writers?

>>18646085
That goofy lad got killed, so...

>>18647498
You could have the "best idea" ever conceived, but if you execute it poorly the strength of the idea is almost completely irrelevant. If an idea had more impact on the final work, ideas would be worth more. But the fact of the matter is that as writers we are engaged in the process of writing rather than the generation of ideas.

>>18647524
I'll admit I'm a little defensive because I don't offer my writing with strangers, but at the same time don't you think that as writers, we are also there to stoke new ideas? I'm not content to just write with my guts. I want to write with my brain sometimes too.

>>18647540
A cool idea on top of good execution is what makes for great fiction. I don't know how to explain this because I just woke up but just don't get the hierarchy confused. Ideas are important, pivotal even. But they don't matter for shit in and of themselves except in their capacity as cherries on top of otherwise good writing which can stand completely on its own two legs.

>>18647540
sensibilities and intuition aren't solely a passive, intangible thing. they're also developed through thinking about, evaluating and concluding
the intentions of the writing and the contents of the writing should be in harmony. pretty dang hard to share that kind of complexity of vision with someone without just writing it and sharing it

>>18647568
Well said. One of the hardest things about writing is the avoidance of just blurting out your ideas. They have to be sketched and teased out of the situations you create and how your characters interact with them. I don't know how this works with other writers, but on the rare occasions where I feel like I have really expressed an idea artfully, it's almost never done via analysis or the intellect. It's something that mostly happens on its own as a natural outcropping from the things I have been thinking about and discussing when not writing.

>>18647585
Haha yeah man you know what it feels like. That is a big part of my issue, truthfully: I have so many ideas and scenes but then I don't have the patience for them to arise naturally, so I usually make them splatter off the page. That's probably a big part of the reason I write so many 'vignettes' and 'entries', as opposed to stories.

>>18647568
>pretty dang hard to share that kind of complexity of vision with someone without just writing it and sharing it
Also this. Because of the decentralized nature of creative writing, you can get a much more holistic, intuitive understanding of an idea than by just intellectually understanding it. I'm probably overstepping myself a bit, but I want to say that as writers who have actual ideas we want to express rather than just stories, the way we express these ideas should be apophatic. We should provide all the necessary breadcrumbs and implications such that our idea is an intuitively realized conclusion. I'm biased, but this is where the academic critics get it wrong. Your Blooms and your hermeneuticians think if they just manage to gather enough data points about a work of fiction that they will be able to understand some cosmic, hidden intellectual truth of greater understanding. What they don't, and will never understand is the nature and experience of writing itself, which is far from analytical and closer to some kind of subliminal dredging for later selection.

McCarthy's essay on the "Kekulé Problem" has a lot of really great insight on this subject.

>>18646196
That’s because you barely read.

>>18647803
I have been reading though.

>>18647813
do not reply to pseud babble

>>18645980
I don’t like the flirt with racism in this image. Yes, i know this is 4chan but the /wg/ has been free from this and i hope it will keep being that way in the future. Not sure if better than anime.

>>18646202
>writers that were purged
>he’s actually referring to the animespammers that have been told to fuck off with the spam
>they are all still here though

>>18647845
Right, and the best way to accomplish that is by voicing your completely irrelevant opinion on it? You are the blackest, deep dark gorilla retard NIGGER I have ever seen.

>>18645980
more like virgin pagan antinatalist drug addled hippie vs the chad racist Christian

>style varies constantly
Fuck

>>18647845
NIIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGERNIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGERNIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGERNIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER

>>18647850
>>18647947
>being this butthurt

Actually made me chuckle in a boring work day. Thanks!

>>18647585
>>18647596

But that’s the beauty of it - when you finally manage to space things out and can tie it all together in the end… dat fucking feel.

>>18648014
Nigger

>look up short stories published and awarded by your country's most popular publisher
>it's all shit, it's like they don't even read
>tfw you objectively write much better works
I thought publishing was for the elites but this is ridiculous, what am I afraid of? lol

>>18648059
You don't have the connections, they won't even read the things you submit. Sorry.

>>18645980
>>18646059
Kek all the literature and writing in general of the Nordic world, excluding I guess runic inscriptions on stones, was from the post-Christianization period you dumb LARPing faggot. Even the 'Pagan' mythological works like the Eddas are deeply influenced by Christianity as the Pagans had been syncretizing for centuries.

I came across a local scifi/fantasy short story competition. I could cut the prologue of the novel I'm working on and send it, and I feel it could have a solid chance to win something. But the main prize is only 2,000 eurodollars. I'm not sure if that's worth butchering my book. They publish the winning works in their magazine, which would mean nobody else will take it after that. But then again, the book might never be finished anyway. Damn, what should I do?

>>18648059
What >>18648088 said and also: women without any real interests are the vast majority of readers. Crime and romance and shit like the things you mentioned is being published is the only ”literarure” that there is money in. So yes, your things are most likely objectively better, but that actually lowers the chance for you to get published by a major publisher.

>>18645980
Pictures like that always make me laugh. The Viking raiders attacking the monks! But who was actually conquered and had their religion annihilated, hmm?

should I just start writing broken ideas I got in my head? I don't have a full story in my head I just come up with concepts or a piece of plot in the middle, ending
am I doomed when it comes to writing? can't even think of my first story to write
no idea how to connect shit and thinking it will end up being too awkward as a story without a structure

>>18648603
Writing things down is the first step, yes. Scenes and scenarios, descriptions of places and people. Start already.

>>18648603
Do you want to outline every single scene before starting to write? Lol.
Just write what you have. You will make things up as you go, after finishing the story you'll edit it to be more coherent. The first draft will be your one big outline. That's how you write things.

>>18648436
Lit competitions are a scam. You'll be better never participating in that shit.
I'm published, i started with competitions, I know what I'm talking about.

>>18648712
I participated in one, didn't win, felt like shit.

Finally came up with a way to start my novel. I ripped it off from someone else but I changed it enough to have plausible deniability, so that means it's my idea. Feels good.

>>18648843
Why don't you just write the ideas you have?

>>18648858
>the ideas you have
haha...

>>18648866
Surely you've chosen to pursue writing because this medium is the one that best allows you to express your ideas?

>>18648874
>this medium is the one that best allows you to express
Indeed
>your ideas
haha...

>>18648733
Did you look up the winner?
Writing competitions are scam. Find something random and look up who won. It's almost always some shit written like they haven't read more than 5 books since birth, four of them being Harry Potters, one some light novel by a retard for retards. Often wins a teenage girl. A daughter of a friend. A daughter of the jury guy. A friend. A neighbour. You will find her in some jury guy's friends on Facebook, not joking. I know what I'm talking about. It's especially true with small competitions. Hosted by a library, for example.
Read winning stories. You will be confused, you will ask yourself how that shit could win. Then find the winner on social media. It's someone near the jury.

Do not feel bad, bro. Stop participating in this shit.

>>18648896
I read the winners of the past several years, thought they were shit and that's why I participated, I felt like I had a legit chance.
The winner this year wrote about WW2 and NAZIS BAD or some shit, trite and pointless.
I will not try again.

>>18648907
>WW2 and NAZIS BAD or some shit, trite and pointless.
Well there’s your problem: you’re a hateful bigot because you think saying that GENOCIDE is trite and pointless. You probably didn’t march in a single BLM rally last year, either.
Really, you should KYS. Or at least stop writing. Nobody wants to read your hate filled bullshit.

>>18648896
>Often wins a teenage girl. A daughter of a friend. A daughter of the jury guy. A friend. A neighbour.

>check the contest archives
>the winners in the past five years were all women
Women just write more these days, right?

>>18649042
And better. Haven’t they won all the Hugos for the past few years? The age of man is over.

Is a fan fiction about To Kill a Mockingbird with time traveling lesbians a good idea? I think it’s just zany enough to work!

>>18649110
You'd better post it too

Am I gonna make it?

>>18648937
I don't have a single rainbow flag on my clothes either...

>>18649142
Getting up there.

I'm writing in FocusWriter but it's boring, should I buy scrivener for free? Any opinions? I want something cool because I spend half of my free time on reading half on writing anyway

>>18649142
No

>>18649166
i dont know what any of that means anon

>>18648937
>being critical to yet another ww2 story winning something
>being racist and a genocide denier
>KYS
Dude, take a fucking chill pill. Just because a piece is political doesn’t automatically make it good literature. And i am pretty sure that dude meant it more in the way that it’s been overdone rather than that he thinks no piece of culture about ww2 should ever have won an award. Your behavior is forcing people into political opposition due to resentment. Think there are too many racists on here? Most probably you have contributed to making them such by comments like yours above.

>>18649193
>pages
>paragraphs
>lines
>words
>characters
>characters (including spaces)

>>18649221
I'm the anon he replied to and I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that was sarcasm

I only watch and read anime and manga the fuck do I write

>>18649376
start by writing a check for some fucking books

>>18649376
A visual novel.

>>18649376
Start reading books lol

>>18647515
After he had finished cutting...

>>18649142
>>18649166
We posting word counts? This one is about half way done. Editing the first half before I continue into the second.

>>18649291
oh... i guess i caught the bait. Fuck.

>>18649169
>should I buy
>for free
But yes, if it's free then it's definitely worth it. I'm on the old version and it's a little ugly but ultimately the features are worth the clunk and the cost and you can opt of most of the bloat (though I know a little of people love using it as it was intended to be used).

>>18649376
Who says you have to write?

>>18649169
I’ve bought Scrivener twice, but frankly I find Microsoft Word + OneNote to get the job done better.

>>18649497
You might be autistic if you’re not catching the irony.

>>18647456
>>18647463
The story is actually more of a post-apocalyptic/western so it has some twentieth century tech. Funnily enough, the main character actually rides around on a motorcycle similar to this >>18647218 anon's story.

>>18648442
Pick another hobby if you’re really so black pulled. Or, write professionally as a copy writer, technical writer, or whatever else, if you must make money from writing. The state of publishing is literally unfixable, so forget about being the next Pynchon or Joyce.

>>18649727
>forget about being the next Pynchon or Joyce.
I want to be the next George RR Martin. His world building is, like, so amazing.

>>18647371
I think your word choices could use some work.
"Life-sound" sounds awkward and doesn't really mean anything. Something like, "a gurgle rises from his halved theoat," might be better.
"Dam of shit" is another phrase that doesn't work. I think you're trying to say that the stool is in his bowels is held in place like a dam and the dams about to be released. But, if that's the case the analogy doesn't really come through.
The final paragraph started out interesting to me when you kept using the phrase, "and the..." since it felt like it conveyed the man's sporadic thinking after the accident. I found it hard to follow when you started talking about "mind's eyes" and the reptile Godhead in their brains, though. Sounds like you were making some allusions to other works so it may be that I'm not the right audience.
Hope this is helpful anon.
>>18647177
It's kind of interesting how you make the analogy between sex and drinking blood, but I think there should either start with him already sucking the blood straight out, or work up to it a little more. Maybe you have a bit more information on how watching the drunk makes him hungry. Some of your sentences are also way too short, especially towards the end;
>We can't have another death in the headlines. Already my bride is too weak to travel. And I am almost too weak to hunt. I can't go home yet. I must find her some food. I will will find her the fattest meal, and I will take none of it for myself. When she finishes the prize I bring home tonight, she will be strong. We will travel to a new home.
It makes it a little awkward to read. I would suggest combining some of them together.

>>18649814
Then just be the next Martin. Rothfuss did it in 2007-2012. You just need to go from le old white male:
https://youtu.be/5X_0PSvGhvc
To le woke white male:
https://youtu.be/z8lNk33snQE

>>18649827
>Rothfuss did it
lol no

>>18649727
>black pilled
You're reading into it. I meant traditional publishing isn't gonna get that person's book out there while omitting that self publishing is the way to go if you really wanna get it done.

>hurr durr, trad vs self publishing debate

What's important is getting it out there. Or be content with writing for yourself. And us fags.

>this thread
Why are christcucks so fragile?

>>18649846
>Why are our conquerors so fragile?

>>18649846
The persecution complex is built into the narrative of Christianity.

>>18649842
Anything but Amazon is literally going to make you pay out of your arse for self publishing. Amazon is fine but you have to remember that sweet 70% royalty isn’t going to be there forever. If enough people jump to self publishing, they’re going to hike up prices.

So: It’s far cheaper to just print off pages and make your own books from scratch, if you just want to share it with friends and family.

>>18649846
/lit/ is culturally a Christian board, shill.

>>18649839
Christ. At least his writing is engaging.

>Writing
https://pastebin.com/vGy6MtTV

>Crit
>>18647371
>burbling
Interesting diction. I liked the piece overall for the cool language and interesting premise. How long should it be?
>>18647406
Don’t listen to this guy, because it ends well. I’d read more.

>>18649856
i'm willing to pay and i'm paying as we speak. I'm dedicated to getting this shit done well and then getting it out there. I have a job and i don't care about earning money from my writing. I do care about getting it out there. For those who are like me to enjoy.

>>18649950
Well, I’m glad it pays off for you. The reader in your head is the best voice to listen to. Godspeed. What’s your project on by the way?

>>18649963
why, thanks for the encouragement anon! It's the regular sci-fi/post apocalyptic drivel we're all working on.
I do agree with you on "the reader in your head" part. Sometimes you just gotta stick with your gut.
S...so, how's your th-thing... coming along?

>>18649982
I have no idea about a book yet, I’m working my way up with smaller poems at the moment. All my novel attempts fail miserably, so I’ll stick with an easier medium. I wanna write a thematic chapbook or small book of poems one day, maybe around a classical theme. I went the trad route but it’s honestly also a money drain (submission fees) that I think I need a job to support me if I’m to continue. I first went self publishing (after I put some stuff on websites or on Amazon when I was a newbie), but realised I might as well experiment with trad for the time being. I live in a university town and most people I know are snobs about where you get published. Not that it matters, but I also write for a reader who’d like to pick up a magazine and look at my name, biography, links, etc. it’s just a neat feeling exploring writers that way.

>>18649936
Thank you for your support my friend. I'm glad you enjoyed. As to how long it should be, I haven't thought that hard about it. Last night I was thinking about a movie idea where an EMS worker is forced to 'take his work home with him' and the scenes of accidents keep appearing in his own personal life. I wrote that piece as a kind of prelude to that. Could be a short story, could be a novel, could be a screenplay.

>>18645980
Given the overall discussions ITT, I will post some of my work, this one is quite old, and I won't re-read for the sake of my sanity but here it goes.

The dome
It all started with a bang, with that primal bang the marvelous stars of the dome came to life, a thousand wonderful machines whirred to life, a thousand feet all sprung at once, running from what was coming. Thousands of men, women and children saw the faint lights of hope shine once again. An everlasting engineer tasked with keeping the dome ever shinning, ever functioning, ever running, armed with an unbreakable will, a hearth shining as the purest of goals, a mind as immaculate as the white clouds, and the master plan of his overseers, working as the most perfect of clocks.
Yet even the overseers in their ever eternal wisdom, left an oversight in their schemes to protect man from what was coming, man itself. As time passed, the engineer started making bigger and bigger sacrifices to maintain the engine running, no matter the situation, no matter the time, the boilers roared and the legs ran, salvation was assured once more, but man wasn’t happy. The evil engineer had neglected commodities he considered secondary, sinking the dome into disrepair, surely he must be hoarding all the resources for himself, the filthy little roach. And thus thousands upon thousands of brave warriors presented themselves on the engineer’s platform and shrieked, oh how they shrieked, they shrieked about a thousand issues, and a thousand solutions, they clawed at the foundations, broke through the fences, they even attacked the dome itself, shooting out the lights, one by one, star by star, yet the engineer seemed unaffected, stoic in his mission.
P 1/2?

>>18650199
Though inside his head, piercing shrieks reverberated, eroding slowly. But he endured, ignored the screams and shrieks, the gnawing and clawing, shootings and lootings even, eventually he made a soundproof room, to block out the cawing of the thousands of hungry chicks he needed to satisfy to have finally peace, yet in that heaven, he eventually found hell too, his ever more frequent screams became amplified via the rooms special walls to keep sound out, but also in, every shriek he let out containing the energy of a thousand brave, shrieking, clawing heroic souls, came back to him tenfold. Every day the dome deteriorated, a slight bit more, what was coming drew an inch closer, and the bestial horde that was once the man got more hysterical, and his mind fragmented a little more. Until one day, that changed.
The shrieks, claws, the guns, The unending irony of humanity is its own undoing, were all silenced by a mighty scream, a scream that ruptured, burned, and obliterated the vocal cords that uttered it, a scream that for a fraction of a second, a fleeting instant created what the engineer wanted: silence. He rejoiced, he prepared to cry, but alas all good things must come to an end sooner or later, and the scream returned, a million times stronger than when uttered, the efforts of the domebound condensed into a single, focused sound, this last scream, shattered every single last bit of hope, reason or humanity from the vile engineer. And then It ended as It started, with a bang.

The engineer was dead, and the dome had become dead silent, the mobs were paralyzed, the whole reason for their existance revoked by the simple pull of a trigger. So the groups deliberated, squatting on a pilotless dreadnaught, doomed to stop someday. They needed a solution, and all of them came with the same solution the same day, “Supremacy”. And thus the beast’s that dared called themselves men did what they did best; shriek, claw, and gnaw until the last breath. Fighting like vultures over a rotting carcass, the lights dimmed, the engines quieted and the running slowed, and what was coming got closer and closer by the day, then the lights failed and the dome cracked, what was coming had at last arrived.
What had been man, then realized what true fear was, was true pain felt like, what a monster was, what horror was, they squirmed, they shrieked and they clawed, but it didn’t matter in the end, all of their pathetic tribes, all of their families, were in the end eradicated. The dome of the beasts ended as it began, in silence.
P 2/2

>>18650199
>>18650201
shit

>>18649727
I'm from Poland and I have no idea what you guys are talking about. BLM? LGBT? Niggers? Tranies? Forcing liberal politics in novels? Nobody but some twitter kids cares or knows anything about that here, and they don't even read books. You just need to write a good story and you're published lmao.

>>18650230
Damn, if only you could elaborate.

>>18650199
>>18650201
good

>>18650230
>>18650260
Yeah, I'm not the one who wrote "The dome" but what do you mean by "shit". What's shit about it?

>No Like A
>No As If
>No adjectives to describe speech
is this right?

>>18650344
Could be. Fitzgerald used all those though

>>18645980
Don’t take your fantasies for history OP. This is what really happened to pagans.

>>18650008
Well, keep at it! And hopefully you'll make it the trad way. I don't believe it's impossible, it's just that i'm so... averse to rejection that i'd rather just skip that part and have every reader reject me instead. At least that's a passive pass and not an overt one.
But whoever doesn't quit has basically made it. It's just not... yet.

>>18649142
>>18649465
We will make it bros

>>18649846
> Why are christcucks so fragile?

I mean you’re the only constantly crying and moaning about what Christians did to pagans 1000 fucking years ago. Move on.

>>18649846

It’s the other way around. I mean you’re the one constantly crying and moaning about what Christians did to pagans 1000 fucking years ago. Move on.

im tradcath and gay

>>18649853
>The persecution complex is built into the narrative of Christianity.

It often feels like the other way around since neopagans won’t shut the fuck about how Christians destroyed them 1000 years ago. Muh pagan genocide.

>>18649839
WTF was that?

>>18650631
Kill yourself for both crimes.

>>18650596
No you won't.

>>18650720
Says you. Now, perish.

>>18650685
Pussy

>>18650596
Amazing any tips on how you got there? I've only got 30k wordcount.

Read the Malazan books. The end of the series tapers off but that’s like 8 books in. The first is a little schizophrenic.

The second book, Deadhouse Gates, is in my opinion the best fantasy book ever written.

>>18650804
For>>18646478

>>18650750
Faggot.
How dare you call me a cat, bundle of sticks.

>>18650596
>313k
That's not one whole book right? And if it is, it's a war novel right? Not a silly teenage romcom or some other bullshit, right?

>>18650772
It's a little difficult to give one that'll actually help you but I've been serial-writing past the 1-year mark now and all I can say is be persistent. I have written almost every week because I place an expectation upon myself to have a chapter deadline on Friday/weekend and that eats into my freetime when I miss those rigid deadlines, since it kinda snowballs.

The bottom line and this is a piece of advice I struggle with myself: write every day, even if you're unmotivated, feeling like crap, etc. Set a minimum word count to write, rather that's 100 words, 500 words, or 1000 words, or even more. If you achieve that then there's nothing wrong with stopping for a while or even the whole day: but if you think you're on a roll then there's nothing wrong with taking advantage of it and continuing until you feel like stopping. If music helps, then listen to it, if you do better with background youtube noise, do that, just don't rely on it too much as a crutch. There's nothing inherently wrong with blocking out everything else either.

>>18650823
It's presented as one fiction but it is about 2 or 3 books. I'd say it's something of a space opera war drama.

>>18650199
>>18650201
overwritten and the drama didn't sell to me. it kind of feels like you're forcing this style out of you, it's discordant and jilts from overly stylized to simplistic. feels awkward
it's not terrible or anything. seems fine for a practice piece. keep at it anon

>>18650822
Piece of shit. White man.

>>18650920
larp

>>18650917

Is this wrong?

>If you want to get published in fiction, write short sentences. Do not ever confuse your readers. Always combine dialogue + action.

>>18650917
Thanks, I will try working on it.
>>18650981
I am retard

>>18648436
What's the name of the competition anon? Can Burger submit to it?

>>18650965
not true. Back where I come from I was christened "Tarbjorn Hafnigger" because of my superior genetic heritage.

>>18651051
clearly, you were born in Sweden. Halfnigger

>>18649936
Pretty good line anon I like the Biblical reference in the second one as well. The rest of the prose could use some work, though. A lot of your sentences have too much filler in them. For example;
>In the hangar’s control room, there was an old flare box I knew was there because the admiral showed it off to us once, a real antique from earth.
could be shortened to;
>There was an old flare box in the hangar’s control room that the admiral had showed us once; a real antique from earth.
Like I said, I liked the "valley of death" line, but I think other classical references like "speed of Achilles" or "medusa-like petrification," feel out of place.
I also think you should either reveal that the crew member is hiding from a monster a little earlier and give more details about how he's survived when everyone else has died.
>otherworldly
Sort of feels like a cliché way of describing a monster.
This may just be me, but I think you should pull back on the sea metaphors as well. Particularly stuff like;
>It was eerily similar to an abandoned yard of ships upon a sea floor.
I think the idea of a monster rotting away at a ship like the ocean is an awesome idea, but it's more interesting if you don't make it so obvious to the reader.
I think you have a really solid starting point for a good sci-fi story anon. Keep at it.

>>18645980
Okay /lit/ maybe you can help me out, and if not maybe formulating my problem in the form of a question. I'm having some difficulty with structure of my story.

The cliffnotes are that it's a conspiracy thriller set in the not so distant future where the narrative is split between two twin sisters, one (let's call her Alice) who becomes involved in an international conspiracy after she joins a high tier investment and tech development firm and the other (let's call her Jane) who gradually learns what's going on as she investigates her sister's disappearance. My problem is that in my first draft Jane was the only main character and Alice died on page 10 but as the drafting process continued it became clear that her story was best told from her own perspective. The problem this has generated is that Jane's investigations are now largely restating what we learn in a more interesting way from Alice but I can't just cut her from the story all together because she's essential to the third act and her relationship with her sister is one of my favorite parts of the story.
TL;DR: Should I pad out my original protagonist's runtime to accommodate the emergent co-protagonist's larger role or should I go back to the drawing board and essentially start from scratch?

>>18651036
Nope, not in English

does my story have to have a protagonist? I hate character development.

What is the female equivalent of the pen name Chad Thunderpen

>>18651189
>Pretty good line
"Pretty good opening line," I meant to say.

>>18651249
>TL;DR: Should I pad out my original protagonist's runtime to accommodate the emergent co-protagonist's larger role or should I go back to the drawing board and essentially start from scratch?

Here's an immediate idea I had.
>Have Alice's story be told in flashsideways/flashbacks
Splitting the information given to the reader allows you to weave Jane and Alice's investigations together, sort of "picking up where the other left off" or even using callback or callforward to information or details the other sister discovered. In this way you're telling a single story, just through two different narrators. Example: Jane starts an investigation in New York City, cut to Alice as she takes her information from New York City (this being in the past before she died) and goes to Belgium, and next we see Jane in Belgium as if she's always chasing after her sister, hence "picking up where the other left off". It's quite playful storytelling. Movies use this a lot when there's a past subplot being chased down by a present narrator.
You can also add more development to the main conspiracy that Jane discovers using information Alice uncovers, shedding new light on things especially if Alice failed in blowing the lid on the whole thing. Maybe Jane has access to a resource or information that Alice didn't or couldn't access.
The difficulty I see here is if Alice's story is shorter than Jane's, you'll have an imbalance between narrative lengths- which is fine, as long as you weren't gunning for equal narratives. You'll have to retool Alice's investigations in the past to be in line with what Jane is investigating in the present, so if you originally had 10 pages of Alice running all over the place and then getting gunned down and then we're introduced to Jane, you'll have to take Alice's story and mix it into Jane's whole story instead. In that case, just start with Jane and use flashback/flashsideways to follow Alice's investigations.

I THINK (emphasis on think) the issue you're having is that Jane is trying to retrace the steps of Alice's investigations and that would be redundant story telling. Like I've been trying to say (probably unsuccessfully), split the two sister's investigations among themselves, as if the whole story could be just one narrator all the way through if the time and name of one of the narrators was changed. That's how I would write it.

>>18651661
good advice

New thread >>18651707