/lit/ - Literature

>>18728232
>Uh, what happened?
Dude started sperging out over anon being a writing tutor, and then the thread vanished.

>>18728235
Why even bother making a new thread? You assholes are so hostile toward writing and discussing writing that the writing gen gets nuked. Stop lying to yourselves that you have any value to writing, this board, or the world in general.

>>18728235
writing tutor guy is a jannie who became butthurt that we didn't lavish him with praise and admiration?

did the fucking janitorsreally prune the one and only decent thread on the entire board?

and he did it for free. the absolute, utter FAGGOT

>>18728248
It would explain why he started pruning the /wg/ with anime pics from before. Guy is a huge faggot then.

Which anime has inspired you to write the most?

I wrote a longer short story and I can't get anyone to read it. I've never had trouble in the past but I'm estranged from almost all my pre-2020 friends now and nobody I know is into literature.

>>18728305
I don't watch anime all that much. I like it, but it's not something that's very important to me. My favorite is probably cowboy bebop. I did also really like attack on titan but the ending is shit-teir shit. I also liked NGE but i can understand why people would think it's pretentious and overrated. I think it's fairly rated tho, and clearly was a cornerstone of the genre as a whole as time progressed. I can't answer your question because none have, though it would be nice if i found one that did. Do you have recommendations?
Also dont forget to feed and seed your sneeds before bedtime, anons

>>18728254
I've recently taken to believing, in the uttermost core of my being, that there is nothing at all more worthless and deserving of hate- nay, of comtempt- than a fucking janny

>>18728312
give it to us anon, I don't have any friends either

>>18728254
I miss when these generals had Hololive in the OP pics. They were comfy and allowed me to write. Instead, I get to watch the slow death of /wg/. We will never go back to those comfy days.

>>18728305
Legend of the Galactic Heroes with its space opera and intriguing plot. Saga of Tanya the Evil was a big motivator in writing a story, and Universal Century Gundam anime comes in at close second.

>>18728349
But we can try, anon! Let’s all be friends and discuss writing! I’m a panther, in that I like to write without wearing pants! I just slap my dick on the keyboard and the words come out! ALSO JIZZ!

>>18728240
This

>>18728342
I would but I don't want my shit traced back to 4chan since I'm already published at my school's undergrad journals and I'm trying to be published elsewhere.

>>18728359
There’s no point. The pseuds won. They destroyed /wg/ in order to protect their self-delusion of being literary geniuses.

>>18728365
>Pseuds were lapping up the cock of some proofreader.
Never realize how pathetic they were in trying to get some self-validation.

>>18728232
i got roasted

>>18728363
oh, well then don't. I don't want you to get doxxed either anon, thought I don't exactly think the people in this thread would be up to that

>>18728240
It is getting better recently.

>>18728423
Holy shit, it isn't. Stop being delusional. Jesus Christ.

>>18728423
>It is getting better recently
You have to stop coping.

>>18728312
I'll read it anon.
>>18728363
Understandable, I only post my throwaway stuff or ad libs that should never be published anyway to see how anons react to my style, diction, flow, rhythm, etc. It's pretty hard for someone to say you definitely wrote something anonymously.

>>18728426
There are pseuds, yes, but overall the support for writers is increasing!

>>18728232
>/wg/ - writing general
What is the point of this general?

>>18728416
it's not that. Though I don't have any illusions about some great literary career, I don't want an early work of mine being dug up from this forum. I mean there's nothing wrong with /lit/, there is a fair diversity of opinions here, but 4chan itself has a bad rep.
>>18728441
Idk I've been writing privately for years only sharing with friends, I think it's time to graduate.

>>18728449
>but overall the support for writers is increasing!
Stop being delusional

>>18728450
Once, this General had writers. They were called Animefags, that is, until the pseuds purged them for making them look bad.

>>18728449
I would post here more if you guys didn't just say
>Well I didn't understand your story because I didn't research any of the things you've been researching, but it's fucking shit and gay anyway!!!!
Either learn how to engage with writing and reading, or don't bother coming here. It's that simple. I have better writing groups in my town and they don't compromise my IP by posting it on a public forum with a warosu archive.

>>18728464
I'm still shock that people actually come here for help.

>>18728450
Some key made the mistake of asking that in the last thread and some nigger sperged out about how it should be obvious the thread was for shitposting through a google search.
>>18728376
I know. People were talking about writing. It was horrible. I think I have PTSD now.

>>18728468
I want to be the best I can be, if that means some anons being arseholes and dismissive, but with one honest critique from someone who knows how to read, so be it.

>>18728456

>>18728471
>People were talking about writing.
Yeah, writing, not a blogpost for some proofreader. There's a difference between the two.

>>18728475
Then you’re wasting your time here. People here don’t read. Best if you go to a local book club.

I am the one who hassled the proofreader first in the previous thread. Every thread I have posted in has been 404'd out of the catalogue, but so far I remain unbanned. This is far too strange to be considered mere coincidence. Only one post I've made could be considered a rule-breaking post, but I tried to qualify it in a way that made it clear I wasn't serious without stooping to use a "/s" tag. It was a rape joke, and if it that was insensitive and is that post has been the cause of the recent cross-thread nuking, then let me apologize. But you should have banned me instead of fucking up other people's discussions.

I am absolutely sorry for derailing the /wg/, I was going to make an apology post before I got in the shower, but I decided against it because I didn't want to draw any more attention to the discussion. But I don't apologize for the content of my posts, my criticism was valid. Anons, I beg you, screencap this before he strikes again.

>>18728459
We're still here though...

>>18728488
You were in the right. The proofreader is a raging faggot for trying to blogpost

>>18728490
No we aren’t.

>>18728491
Not sure if I deleted my post or he got to it, if he's even a janitor and that wasn't some bizarre fluke, but I definitely meant to delete it because like I said I don't want to draw anymore attention to the discussion. The smart thing to do would have been to just ignore his post and let it die from lack of response. I would say "lesson learned" but I derail threads that way pretty frequently. Moving on, let's get some excerpts in here for critique.

>>18728518
>let's get some excerpts in here for critique.
You new around here? We don't do that here.

>>18728518
>writes a post to pat himself on the back for getting the last thread nuked.
>then deletes the post and makes a new one to talk about deleting the post.
So you’re a professional faggot or what?

>>18728518
>Moving on, let's get some excerpts in here for critique.
Sure why not. Hasn't been edited yet.

“And I truly am sorry that I bumped into you—it was careless of me to let my mind wonder in this crowd for even a second,” I gaze at the bloodied man curiously, “your nose, is it broken? I can help—“ the man shakes his head and fresh stream of tears race down his bloodied cheeks. I reach inside my poncho for something to clean his face with, but the man coughs up blood and begins to speak.

“Keanu,” the man mutters, trying to keep his throat cleared of fluids, “my name is Keanu. I…” Keanu grunts, wobbling a bit on his knees. His gaze shifts between Simon and me, before he shuts them tight.
“Please be careful,” I say hurriedly, producing a white cloth from a pouch. I hand it to him, but Keanu only pushes it aside. Keanu sniffs and grunts from the agonizing pain.

“This pain is nothing to what I’ve done,” Keanu gasps, his voice slurred and nasally, “this drunken stupor is simply karma, isn’t it?” Brutus and Rami breathe in and out heavily. Did they realize he is a Kamon affiliate by now? Was Keanu here responsible for their holdup in Löyly back then?
“By whatever do you mean?” I ask warmly. Keanu rubs his neck and only shakes his head, “whatever it is, don’t let it weigh you down—”

“No!” Keanu retorts, making me flinch back, “no, I can’t… it’s not a sin I can simply walk away from!” Keanu says—he pleads. Keanu tries getting to his feet but fails, slumping back on his knees. Keanu buries his head in hands and stifles his weeping.

“Keanu—“ before I get the chance to continue, Keanu abruptly prostrates himself before me, his head reaches down and fully touches the tarmac.

“I’ve…” Keanu stammers, his lips sputtering out all the blood, “I’m responsible for pulling Jung Lee out of retirement… I never in a million years thought…” Keanu gasps to clear his mouth of blood, “I’ve killed a legend… a living legend… why?” Keanu lifts his head up, “I’ve went and brought a family man back to the Mafia—only for him to be killed!” Keanu gasps again, wiping his broken, bloodied nose with his sleeve, “and now I’ve come and confronted you—is this my fate to die like a dog?! To pay for what I’ve done?!

“I’ve done nothing but drink my sorrow the last few days—I couldn’t bring myself to confront the Lee family… I couldn’t bring myself to look cap’n Jean or Jargon in the eyes… how could I?! I’ve taken their livelihood from them! I’ve taken away a father…” Keanu’s fingers curl up—and then he slams a fist against the tarmac, “I’ve ruined a whole family! How can I simply not let it weigh me down?! I deserve to die!”

Last thread I believe we had someone asking what the point of writing is if story structure is set in stone, and I believe he was referencing the hero's journey as an example, and no one really answered him.

I think a lot of beginning writers have an issue with confusing analysis for instruction. Story structure is an example of that. For instance, the inciting incident must come somewhat in the beginning of the story simply because if you put somewhere near the end, it wouldn't be an inciting incident, it would be a complication or a climax. Even in a non-linear story, like Catch-22, where the incident which inspires Yossarian to forsake his military duties isn't revealed until the very end, it doesn't start the story so much as re-contextualize the story which has already been told. Most analyses of that novel even specifically refer to it as the climax, despite the fact that chronologically, it is one of the first things that occurs. And in fact, flashbacks to Yossarian's military training indicate that he began to resent military service even before he enlisted. So it's doubtful that Joseph Heller sat down with a chart of the hero's journey and applied the events he had in mind and jumbled it up for effect, he simply told the story in the most effective manner and later on a structure was applied to help make sense of it.

On the other hand, conventional story structure can be a guide so long as you understand that it's not so much a dictate as a guideline, gained from years of trial-and-error and experimentation. So it's not, strictly speaking, necessary to have your character undergo a symbolic death, and it's not necessary that this symbolic death occurs just before the rebirth-in-power. However, it would be jarring to a reader to have your character undergo a complete change of status at the beginning of the story, and it would be difficult to maintain tension if he was reborn in the second chapter with the ability to overcome all obstacles in his path.

And just a quick note, I remember a fun movie, a zombie version of Romeo and Juliet where the main character, who quite literally dies before the story begins, undergoes a symbolic death (that is, dramatic restructuring of his life and abilities) in the form of coming back to life at the 3/4ths mark of the film. So that just shows what kind of experimentation is possible even within these established guidelines.

>>18728562
>and no one really answered him.
Because he could literally search it up.

>>18728559
I think in the last paragraph or two, it is just long verbage... I would add some descriptive to the environment or windows opening if they are on a dark street, good job anon keep going!

How do I remember to be creative and not recycle plots I've seen before down to the characters?

>>18728577
By being creative and not recycle plots.

>>18728577
Am I the only writer here whose mind is nearly constantly being flooded with book ideas, characters, character's voices, concepts... all of these things intruding on thoughts half the time?

>>18728595
no

>>18728582
Yeah, but how?

>>18728660
By being creative and not recycle plots? hat's it.

>>18728577
Don't, just recycle popular stories for better chances at success.

I made progress on my novel again today!

>>18728232
>I love writing dialogue but hate prose.

>No I will not write screenplays.

>>18728365
Jesus christ, /wg/ was never good and it never will be. The concentration of novices who literally come here to post about something completely irrelevant (gee should I rename the 20th character I've introduced in the first page?) is out the roofs. Meanwhile real critiques get ignored. /crit/ was a million times better than this shithole.

>>18728240
>you assholes are so hostile

:^)

>>18728240
>come to 4chan
>get mad about the hostile environment

>>18728349
>i liked something so i forced it onto everyone else

Well i’m honestly sorry you can’t get it up anymore (your ability to write, that is) but that shit ruined it for a lot of others. Notice how no one complained about the anime pic in the last thread? That’s cause it was one thread and people assumed it would be something else the next thread. This is how people function: they tolerate others opinions and will but only for so long. Former anime OP forced his shit down our throats so much that basically everyone who wasn’t into hololive or whatever it’s called started hating him, and that hate spilled over to other anime posters.
So please be respectful of the fact that other people have other wishes. I can tolerate anime as long as it isn’t constantly forced onto me.

>>18728562
Thank you. I’m reading a book on editing and there’s just so much “thou shalt do this at that point in the book” in there that it seems like it may as well be automated. Maybe there’s an implied “… if it fits your story” that I missed.
>>18728570
Oh fuck off, faggot.

>>18729134
>t.revisionist history
You fucks already hate anime posters by the time of the first anime OP came don't try to make yourself look good faggot. So fuck off with that revisionist history you make up in your mind to justify your shit decision making.

Here is a response to
https://www.dropbox.com/s/l0wv4l48xe82dou/blahblah.docx

before jannie deleted the thread.

I liked the story, but it does have a tendency to drag on in general, but it's especially bad when the main character falls asleep.

>>18729585
What about the lack of hate on anime OP pic in last thread? Explain that, faggot.
Anyways i do agree /wg/ should die. That way people can make threads with their questions instead and get relevant replies rather than the shitfest that this is.

>>18729673
>one thread where they don’t change that means something
Not even him but common. It’s plain as fuck you guys hated animefags before the whole op thing. So I don’t know why you’re stating otherwise.

>>18728349
Fuck off and kill yourself animetranny

>>18729684
Nah, you can go fuck yourself. he's right.

>>18729673
Of course the animefags stop crying when they finally get their way. You're the only ones shitting up these threads just because evil mod slapped your ass

>>18729679
I did ask some guy who posted lolis to fuck off since it is illegal in my country and not really sfw. (Imagine your boss seeing some half naked 7-year old on your screen). But that was it. And, if you are referring to animefags as people who can’t respect a simple request and have to get worse when you ask them to stop, then yes - we hated that kind of people from the start. It has nothing to so with anime and everything to so with common decency.

>>18729694
Bruh you really browsing 4chan at work?

Oh my god, I feel like I'm back in high school throwing food at the anime kid table again. The fact that you like japanese cartoons is the least offensive thing about you. I remember telling one girl to stop squealing like a retard and she said I was ignorant for only liking American media, and I said that I liked toonami and she started talking in some obnoxious voice like "oh baku baku desu SHINOBI that is not real anime anon-kun, allow glorious master cartoon sensei to-" and I creamed her in the face with a half-full milk cartoon.


You see this bizarre behavior in every niche subculture. Greasy metalheads go around smelling like shit and unplugging other people's aux cords with a condescending smirk to play "real music" and then sit there wondering why they're not invited to things and then arrive at some half-baked notion that everyone is afraid of them, when in reality everyone else is just fucking tired of hearing about how they drank so much that they passed out and puked on themselves last weekend.

Been listening to and reading a lot of Allen Ginsberg lately and gave poetry another stab. It's fucking hard conveying that degree of emotional sincerity, much harder than I thought, but I don't think I'm doing too bad for a complete amateur:
https://ghostbin.com/paste/qjM5j

>>18729855
You really partake in the seed of men?

>>18729855
The fuck is this stupid shit? It doesn’t even rhyme.

>>18729765
How the fuck am i otherwise supposed to survive wageslaving?

Guys, I'm working on a short story. Rate my idea:
>random russian physics professor shows up in another country's backwater village
>buys himself a huge estate, becomes wine mogul and restores a mansion despite having no practical skills
>eventually marries and has a daughter
>daughter gets friendly with only other boy her age (it's a small village)
>they grow up as close friends/lovers to a backdrop of the russian guy inventing wacky shit in his backyard
>boy keeps getting weird dejá-vu all his life
>one day the girl dies in a tragic accident
>russian guy calls the boy, tells him he's built a machine capable of erasing her death
>they get in the machine, the village is nuked, and they reincarnate in another parallel universe
>turns out they're reliving their lives 10000x times until they manage to save the girl, but don't actually realise until the dejá-vu randomly kicks in at the appropriate time in the loop

It's a bit cliché, but I'm trying to write it in a Flaubertian/Tolstoyan omniscient narrator style (like Flaubert's Felicité).

Any thoughts? I'm not really sure how to end it.

>>18730239
Cliched but it's all about execution and not really your idea.

>>18729663
That's the thing. My initial draft, but when in the visual novel itself it feels a lot shorter than in script - but I'm not sure whether that's just me or not. And I still haven't reworked the shitty brain dump thing, yeah, going to remove that. Thanks for reading.

>>18730324
My initial draft was a lot shorter, but when in the visual novel itself it feels even shorter than in script*
Think I had a stroke.

>>18730204
By working.

>>18728349
Damn. I walked away for a couple months and this is what happens? The whiny pseuds destroyed another of the generals that was objectively better when it had anime OPs?

For old time's sake:

Yes, I'm done now. I was never going to become the next Faulkner, the next Nabokov or the next Joyce, but I hid behind the language barrier to avoid criticism for months, maintaining an illusion that was fun to live in while it lasted. I had thought my country's education system to be topmost in the world, but this turned out to be utter bollocks. A child of 18, a person ten years my junior, has a greater vocabulary than I, who had to look up the word “topiary”, and no one likes the expression theory of art anymore, I am likened to a long lost dinosaur.
This will be my final post on /lit/. I've been humiliated and exposed as a fraud. My writing is pretentious, infantile, banal drivel. My observations are dull, my language grade school level. My tenses are mixed up; I use colloquialisms, ellipses and onomatopoeia. I mix tired and trite idioms together to obfuscate their unoriginality with a veneer of irony; I have continued to recite ornate Jewish chimpanzee parables with diminishing returns. The parable seemed very clearly to me to be asking me whether or not the now-grown-adult can choose. I say yes, of course, but that's not my issue.
I was never cut out for writing. I began writing my "book" on January 6th. Since then I've produced 127 thousand words for it. These words are a tide of garbage without value, without insight, without form. The themes of time, space, infinity, memory and pointless duelling are not present in my work. It was never real writing, it was anime and weebshit!
Story arcs, character arcs, narrative arcs, these are all outdated terms. You say what you hear, and only the anime fandom uses the term “arc” anymore. I am a toad! Look how many words I wrote, because apparently literature is bodybuilding and just aimlessly typing will somehow improve my writing. My appetites grew as I wrote, I set a goal of a 100 thousand words when I began, only for the cancerous growth to demand a 137 thousand words soon enough to be completed, and still I don't even know what genre it is that I'm writing. Is it autofiction? A comedy? A picaresque? Am I merely shitposting edgelord-triggering diarrhea in neo-emo gothic revivalist gestalt?
Regardless, I have failed, and even in my failure I have merely imitated how people who think they write well but write poorly write, and I couldn't even do that well. "Oh I can do that anytime if I wanted to" I thought, but no. I have put down my pen. Never again will my fingers click-clack across the keyboard. No more outlines, no more characters. Goodbye. Learn from me! Learn from me!

>>18730872
That's a nice pasta, but whoever wrote that should follow their own advice and rope for good measure

>>18730899
The pasta is actually a compilation of several real posts from /wg/ sprinkled with writing updates.

>>18729134
>but that shit ruined it for a lot of others
Just you, you little whiny bitch.

>>18730899
Kek, it's funny because it's 100% true
Shit, I've published several stories already and always feel like such a hack. Why live if you can't be a great writer, or even a passable one? And why write at all, anyway, if no one is reading anymore and Harold Bloom isn't around to insert us into the Canon?
Feel free to add this to the pasta

>>18730948
Thanks, will do.

>>18730204
If you don't live and think as an artist, you will remain in your position.

>>18730966
How do artists live and think? Is this a gay thing?

>>18728232
I wish to write a story on the air of the old tall tales and the travels of macro polo.
I also had a really good (In my opinion) idea for a short story, I forgot about it though.
I also like writing about decay, cities, sprawl, etc. if only I wrote more often.
>>18731017
Dunno man doesn't seem very concrete. Marinetti was insane, Balzac drank more coffee than water. Dostoyevsky was a pious worshipper of God who wanted to ship every single turk back to Asia

>>18731017
You have to tap into some inner narcissism. It really requires you to see yourself as not part of the world, but the world is a part of you and you are damaged. Part of how you heal yourself is through creation. Your self-expression is used selfishly to heal your own wound, but secretly you desire to influence the world and heal it, too.

>>18731186
Oh. I’ve got that part down, then. And all this time I just thought I was a loser.

>poetry
why lmao
i cannot imagine some guy looking for a book with new poems of wonderful young XXI poets

>>18728240
COMMUNIST DEMORALIZATION PROGRAM DETECTED
>COMMUNIST
DETECTED
>COMMUNIST
DETECTED

>>18728240
NIHILIST COMMUNIST DEMORALIZATION MEME
BOLSHEVIK ORIGIN

>>18728328
>watching anime is like going to church
totally agree

>>18731339
What would make you think you're a loser? How old are you and what have you done so far in life?

>Just reach 110,000 words
I'm so close bros. Another week or two and I'm finished.
Also out of curiosity, are there any alternatives to word (or even addons for word) that have a thing keep track of how many words you've written that session? My goal is 2000 words a day and I'd love something that just sits there and goes "500/2000 words" or whatever.

Rec me some books on writing?

>>18731548
>What would make you think you're a loser? How old are you and what have you done so far in life?
40 year old incel NEET
The NEET is a recent development when I realized I hated my career and decided to quit to pursue the only things that I actually enjoy (writing and drawing) even though I suck at them. I've got enough money to handle being unemployed for ... a while. I just blame it on midlife crisis.

>>18731782
Get a job and stop being delusional.

>>18731755
Scrivener 3 has this, it also has additional options for things like deadlines as well.

>>18731810
What else does Scrivener do? It's a cool feature but is it worth spending $50 or whatever for the entire program?

>>18731830
It's designed to function as a word processor and a simple way of organizing all your research/worldbuilding stuff all in one place. It has a number of other bells and whistles but I generally don't use them. You can also compile for things like epub as well.

It has a free 30-day trial that you can try out for yourself. It only counts the time when you use it.

>>18731782
You made it to 40... what have you done in your life?

>>18732091
Are you retarded? Guy did nothing with his life.

>>18732228
Exactly. Next time someone tells you they're a failure, why challenge them on it?

>>18732403
Sorry, it is just hard for me to believe someone can make it to 40 without having had some struggles and interesting adventures in life? Certainly they've done SOME interesting stuff, right?

>>18731782
I’m 28 but I’m quitting my job soon too. I write and draw as well. I don’t really have a clear direction. I’m not quitting exactly to write or draw per se. I just don’t want to do the job anymore, or any job for that matter. What advice, if any, would you give me?

i'm 7000 words into what should be about a 15k-word story, i have everything outlined, but i'm just completely stuck and i have been for weeks. i've never actually finished something i started writing before. how do you guys find motivation to get these things done?

>>18732433
>how do you guys find motivation to get these things done?
Serial-writing, I set deadlines for myself. I've been going by to have a chapter released by Friday and if I miss that then I do crunch time and aim to release it by the weekend's end which can be difficult since those are the only days I work and I'd only have 4-ish hours to crunch before bedtime. I can guess what you can take away from this paragraph is to just bruteforce it—write whenever you absolutely can, put a word minimal for the day (100, 500, 1k) and if you exceed that then keep going until your attention span burns out and you want to do something else instead. You deserve it.

Of course, that's just how it goes in theory. In practice, I struggle quite a bit now that I've neared the end of this current book volume. I've been unable to release a new chapter the last two weeks because I'm here finally and I'm struggling with what I just said above. Tarkov had a new wipe earlier this month and my friends have been jumping into it recently. Since March or so, I've been casually toying with the idea of going on hiatus for a while since I've gotten all the "intense" plot points out of the way, and after releasing last chapter which was one of the scenes I've been eager to write out and looked forward to for the past year of writing—I'm simply burnt out. Now I'm just writing what is basically going to be the epilogue of sorts for this character arc and I'm all but dead set on going on hiatus for a month to enjoy myself after I finish this chapter and the next.

That kinda ended up long-winded personal experience. Just be persistent. Set some deadlines for oyurself—doesn't have to be rigid as mine, I'm assuming you're not serial-writing so you have a lot more breathing room with writing a 15k short story. If you even wrote a minimum of 500 a day+bursts to go even further you can probably finish it in 2 weeks. Best of luck anon. Vomit those words out, let it rest for 2-3 months and come back to it later in editing period. You got this.

>>18732410
no. I was crushed by bullying early on. I've done a good job of avoiding life ever since. I merely exist.
>>18732429
have money. And stay in shape. no more health insurance.

>>18732492
thanks bro. i guess i just feel like i ought to be able to get it done in one sitting since it's all in my head, even though if i'd just been grinding it out 500 words at a time i'd be done by now. good luck finishing your volume too.

>>18732410
>Certainly they've done SOME interesting stuff, right?
Where do you think you are?

>>18728240
>You assholes are so hostile toward writing and discussing writing t
Why does this matter. This isn't rebbit

>>18729873
Do you not?

Why is it that whenever someone calls someone a pseud, they always turn out to be the bigger pseud later on? I remember there was that one guy ITT who used the word in like every one of his posts, yet he posted the most pseud writing sample I'd ever seen of his book.

Does /wg/ have a discord to chat about writing and writing related products? If not are there any you'd recommend?

>>18733191
Yeah. There’s one with the crocodile book guy and all the other anons from here who finished their work.

>>18733191
There's Unreal Bros. https://discord.gg/hpc2SbD2

>>18733191
>wanting to combine the mental illness of this thread with the shittiness of Discord

>>18728248
According to warosu there's an earlier thread wg with "I work as a writing tutor for a college, AMA."

>>18728305
War in the pocket

>>18728464
>>Well I didn't understand your story because I didn't research any of the things you've been researching, but it's fucking shit and gay anyway!!!!
Are you the guy who's female character had trouble getting an "erection"?

>>18733959
I mean, estrogen does that to you.

>>18728232
Generals are for redditors
Just make a thread

>>18733959

>>18734136
then meaningful threads would die to answer every retarded idiot’s question about world building, speech tags, characters arcs, and sensitivity readers when it’s much easier to keep such discussion confined to these writing general threads. That way, we can just tell those faggots to look up the answers elsewhere, rather than spreading it out among different threads.

>>18734260
>meaningful threads would die
No

>these are a writer and an agent speaking with a prospective author about her manuscript
https://manuscriptacademy.com/podcast-tamara-kahler
anyone else get depressed hearing dimwit roastoids like this speaking and knowing they control your future?

https://bibliolifestyle.com/most-anticipated-summer-2021-historical-fiction-books/
>told to look at "most anticipated" titles for my genre
>look
>literally all of them are women-centric
"women of"
"daughters of"
"two women who"
"black women"
"mothers"
"sisters"

About 90% of the titles that get published are explicitly about women, often having some female term in the title itself. There is only one title on this list that states it is about men. How the fuck is this okay?

>>18734271
>https://manuscriptacademy.com/podcast-tamara-kahler
This is a board of philosophers and intellectuals furthering the depth of human understanding! We can’t be letting profound discussions die off just because some idiot wants to know if it’s better to write his dumb weeb harem fanfic in first or third person!

I spent around two hours working on a single sentence a few days ago. It was an important moment in a short story so I was giving it more effort than I would have in a longer work but it still felt extreme, despite being pleased with the results. How much time are you willing to spend fine tuning a sentence?

>>18734332
Agents give submission guidelines with formatting standards on their websites. Wtf are you listening to podcasts about unsold books for?

Where can I go to find alpha readers?

>>18730923
Wrong. Myself and dozens of others. Hence this argument you stupid dickless cunt.

>>18729134
This
/thread.

>>18734432
>dickless cunt
This is very transphobic.

>>18734453
Wrong again roastie. Its inclusive. You wanna be one of the guys ill treat you like one of the guys cunt.

>>18728559
>gazed curiously
>say hurriedly
>ask warmly
why don't you cool it on the fucking adverbs? also how many times are you going to say that his nose was bloody/he was covered in blood?

>>18734105
>>18734244
The original line was "I was so tired I didn't think I could manage an erection" which was the narrator referring to the end of a long day as she was in bed with her boyfriend. A lot of us helpfully pointed out that the wording was a bit confusing, and seemingly implied that the woman herself had trouble getting a boner whereas, surely, the narrator must have meant that she didn't think she could get her boyfriend hard. The assertion by the author was that whenever a sexual organ is engorged with blood, whether it is a penis or a clitoris, it is referred to as an erection in medical communications. He was correct about that but, culturally speaking, an erection refers to male arousal. Even though men sometimes get a little nervous and maybe sweat a bit before sex, you would hardly describe a male character as "wet with anticipation."

I believe it was extra funny because he said that excerpt was his first deliberate attempt to write from a female POV.

>>18734511
>He was correct about that but, culturally speaking, an erection refers to male arousal
One of those fun, real life examples of the difference between knowledge and wisdom.

>>18734397
it was about a specific issue (effects of coof hysteria on the publishing market for dark/depressing books). faggot

why would you fucking not? these people decide if you live or die, why wouldn't you listen to them talk about stuff?

To whoever keeps saying we should ditch the general and just start individual threads:

/lit/ is a literature discussion board, and writing discussions should absolutely be quarantined because aspiring writers are some of the most obnoxious people on the face of the planet.
>how do I figure out what genre I want to write?
>pantsing or plotting? gardening vs mining?
>can we just talk for a minute about how amazing and inspiring it is to be a writer? to sit there all snugged up at your typewriter on a crisp autumn day, sipping a latte and plumbing the depths of the human soul? why do we feel compelled to follow this noble calling?
>how can i cope with imposter syndrome? i've published three books, won two awards, and yet...
>does this sound realistic, a villain's assistant who turns to the good side at the last moment blah blah blah, (2000 words of infodump later...) it's all over, the Blorgons have the crystal, our heroes are powerless to stop them, all is lost until blah blah blah

>>18731792
>t.Corporate shill.

>>18734553
>these people decide if you live or die
It sounds like your problem is that you just want to write speculative fiction for an audience, specifically to have an online fandom attached to your name in the style of GRRM or King that you can have final authority over.
You probably don’t like writing very much, but you’ve convinced yourself you love it because it has a much lower barrier of entry than many things you’d rather be doing like screenwriting or directing.
Truthfully, you also want a generous amount of money, but thats irrelevant because you’ve already convinced yourself it’s a relatively small sum compared to what other entertainers get.
So you pursue this shit because you really just want someone to tell you what you have to do to be a minor celebrity and are upset when they don’t tell you what you want to hear.

Also
>oh yeah, these people that supposedly live and breathe most of their lives appreciating the written word. I bet the best ones choose to communicate with an audio production
Kek

>>18734609
Does it really matter? its not like this general even helps them

>>18734615
oh fuck you i'm not even reading that shit, you're projecting hard as fuck accusing me of things that aren't true. crab. go get fucked and eat shit.

>>18734432
Fuck off, you will be a great writer like Gardner. The only successful writer that ever came from this general and a proud animefad.

>>18734615
>You probably don’t like writing very much
I'm kind of curious if people really enjoy the act of writing. Not the anon you were responding too, but while I certainly appreciate the subtle nuances that written text have which can't be done in visual media (and vice versa), and I definitely feel pleased with myself when I come up with a unique image or really hit a profound notion or a perfect phrase or describe something, the act of physically sitting down with my computer and typing it and revising it and making it equal to the image in my head is kind of a drag for me. Like if some Hollywood bigshot said he saw my excerpt on /lit/ and he's ready to start producing it tomorrow, I might think twice because I think it would suffer from a purely visual representation. But if there was a machine I could put on my head which would transform my ideas into a written story, like put the really good phrases where they belong and just sort of fill in the rest, I'd probably use it.

And now I'm wondering how other people visualize stories before they sit down to write them. I see them as visual images in my head which I later strive to describe accurately when I write, with occasionally a snippet of text which I think would do the job perfectly. Does anyone here visualize purely in text when they're in the planning stage?

>>18734675
I don't like writing but I'm hoping I'll start to like it once I get better at it, as with all skills

>>18734675
I think it would be weird if most who write didn’t enjoy it.
But even for arguments sake, if a large proportion of writers found the actual act of writing to be really difficult or unpleasant then I think they would mostly tell you that they have a much better time plotting the ideas in their head and what they might call “worldbuilding”.
Or, they might say it was really difficult to get down but it was worth it once they got to hear feedback in a workshop.
There definitely has be some enjoyable aspect of it between gestation of the idea and publication.

lads wasnt there a writing thread before /wg/ where posters would share their blurbs to be critiqued? did it die when /wg/ was born?

>>18734675
I have daydreams constantly, all day long, and from those bubble up particularly strong signals that have turned into two books and about a dozen books in various stages of completion.

>>18734750
No

>>18734328
>‘The strongest guard is placed at the gateway to nothing,’ he said. ‘Maybe because the condition of emptiness is too shameful to be divulged.’

>>18734750
Yes, it was called /crit/ and it no longer exists because the jannies would delete it when /wg/ was in the catalog simultaneously

>>18734750
No, it lasted quite a while when /wg/ was happening. But yes, /crit/ did co-exist with wg for half a year or so.

>>18734824
Wrong thread died desu

>>18734609
This is actually funny. You’ve changed my mind. Or i mean not that i care whether the rest of lit gets spammed by that shit but you have a point.
Aait guys, keep fighting over anime!

Rec me some books on writing?

Good morning gentleman. Instead of writing a long winded copepost which I normally do here I will instead say I hope you all have a prosperous day. We're gonna make it somehow lads.

>>18735168
How about you actually start writing.

>>18728232
Any nonshit online writing courses taught by reputable writing instructors? I wanna improve my writing but don't wanna do a goddamn MFA

>>18735342
Several, use google to find them.

>>18735345
I wanna know the ones you guys have personall used and liked

>>18735349
How about you find one that fits your style of writing.

When do you people use simple vs compound or complex sentences? Is there a reason to use one over the others apart from rhythm or aesthetics?

>>18735213
I don't know how to write. I submitted my draft of short story to the local newspaper editor and he told me that the story was fine but it lacked structure. Apparently there are rules to writing?

>>18735415
Dude... one person saying that doesn't make your writing shit. Chances are they didn't even read it. My ex worked at a student magazine in her university and she only reviewed things her friends wrote and literally just told other writers their work wasn't good enough when she would just move the emails to another folder and not even read them. I thought that was pretty shitty of her and broke up with her shortly after.

>>18735359
How about I give you a kiss

>>18735449
Good for you.

>>18734655
>Gardner

Alright, I need some opinions. I have a ton of finished novels and am finally deciding to stop sitting on them. My most recent rejection letter made me realize that my whole view has been skewed, and that getting traditionally published isn't some prestige thing, at least not these days. Instead of trying to prove to myself that I'm a "good" writer by getting traditionally published, I will instead go the financial shill route and self-publish.

My only problem is deciding which story to publish first. I have a trilogy which is my pride and joy, but I also don't want to lead with it, because I know it will be a while until I gain any success. I have a few supernatural YA books and a standalone fantasy story. Then I have a couple detective-ish noir books. I plan on investing plenty of money into them, but I really don't know where to start. Any advice?

>>18735667
post sample so we can see whether it is garbage or not.

>>18735667
>Any advice?
YA to test the waters.

>>18728312
>>18728357
Based. Also currently writing tragic, civilian focused military scifi. Keep up the good work fellas

>>18734750
perhaps you're thinking of the "post your novel ideas" threads. They co-existed with /crit/ and then died off and eventually /wg/ became the thread that co-existed with /crit/ until /crit/ got killed for being shit.

>>18736119
>/crit/ was shit
zoom zoom

>>18736122
It was toward the end at least as there was a whole lot of poetry and not a whole lot of criticism.

>>18736070
meant to ping >>18733930 not 57. Rart moment. Anyways 0080 is one of the best war stories I've ever taken in since there's relatively little war onscreen, and it's more sentimental and cutesy than Remarque. Broaden your horizons, greekbros. I'm reading harlequins and YA too to see where they fail and where the hidden gems are

>>18736127
People who were in /crit/ will often tell you that it was shit and died for a reason. Those who have never visit /crit/ as this weird ass revisionist history towards it.

>use word
>have novel in progress at over 100k words
>the word count keeps changing
>went to bed last night it was at exactly 110,077 words (i specifically remember this number because it was a wow I'm at 110k moment)
>save
>open it up today
>it's at 109,545 words

what the fuck. Someone tell me word's word counter is fucked and not that bits of my novel are getting fucking wiped by Microsoft's pajeet coders

>>18736144
It is fucked, but I've never had it change more than 1-3 words. But I write things around 60k and what you have is double that, so maybe the algorithm gets exponentially worse as the count increases.

>>18736144
You didn't save it bro, you didn't save it! It's gone!

>>18736133
I was a frequenter. It was good if you ignored the poetry, since people actually critiqued. What is there in this thread? A collection of pre-simian macaques asking which anime they should rip off.

>>18736188
>since people actually critiqued
>Doubt.
People wrote excerpts and people barely offered any critique.

>>18736144
Use livingwriter.com

Is anyone left here who writes actual books, not manga/anime/hololive?

>>18736212
I’m pretty certain the only people who write in this General are animefags and no one else .

>>18736217
Plotfag here!

>>18736212
Yeah, way to shit on the only writers here. Fuck off already. Anime writers are trying to keep /wg/ afloat.

>>18736217
Unlucky for the state of /lit/

>>18736188
And yet you're doing nothing to change that.

>>18736208
Seems like you're salty you didn't read the rules: critique first and then people will critique your work.

>>18736212
Of course. I can’t say i’m writing high brow literary fiction but i’m trying to keep things as down to earth as possible. Even though it’s technically sci-fi. tfw everything set in the future automatically becomes sci-fi

>>18736212
Still writing my Finnish army novel.

>>18736221
Just let it sink. I would rather have no /wg/ than anime infested one.

>>18736224
>critique first and then people will critique your work.
Yeah, and people would give poor critiques just to have their works critique.

>>18736224
That's the point, people didn't do that and there was way more shit posted than critiqued.

>>18736231
>Pseud
You already killed /wg/

>>18736212
Yes. There's a lot of demoralisation going on though and they'll tell you that people here don't write or that animefags are the only writers or that /wg/ should die. Just ignore it.

>>18736240
It’s only good to kill a mad dog.

>>18736222
No, not really.

>>18736243
Thank you for your positive contribution!

>>18736261
So, we turning /wg/ into a hugbox now?

Why can’t I stop thinking of every story along the lines of anime and manga? I think my brain has been poisoned.

>>18736240
Dude, your pseud spamming and ”erryone kilt the glorius animeposters” is such blatant samefaggotry that it makes me assume you’re the former anime OP. Just fucking accept that people don’t agree with your opinions and fuck off to a relevant board or just shut the fuck up. or at least post some critique or something you’ve written instead of just spamming about your swollen sphincter.

>>18736262
Pretty much. Can’t critique anyone without being called crab, you have to write write “real” literature if you want critique, etc, etc. and people wonder why /wg/ is dying

>>18736262
Seems like there are only two speeds of /wg/
>hugbox
>knifefight

>>18736281
Made me chuckle

>>18728240
You're so fucking gay and talentless. I bet you don't even love hitler you fucking good goy.

>>18736212
Me. I write litfic, or try to anyway. I do like writing fantasy and sci fi, but I've always tried to make my shit have a 'point' in a way. I don't just want to write a story, I want to use my work to explore things and philosophize.

Fine, keep whining like little bitches about how much you hate /wg/. You people are the only ones ruining this thread.

>>18736310
Post your writing.

>>18736310
Word brother. Anyways I just started writing 4 seconds ago and I was wondering whether it makes sense to have my main character start off as dead but then be revived by the holy knights (these are like a faction that can do resurrection except that its expensive) and I'm not sure whether it makes sense that they revive him since he's supposed to be a poor nobody so I think I'll save that for later. What does /wg/ think?

>>18736310
I don't hate /wg/, anon. You guys are great.

>>18736314
I think you should stop being retarded.

>>18736313
He won't.

>>18736310
I just want help.

>>18736323
Then why are you here? Go on some forum or something.

>>18736310
>everyone is ruining this thread for me

The essence of autism caught in a simple sentence.

Worst general ever, I have never seen anything good posted, its all autistic muh avant-garde shit or just plain out bad. And then you seethe at each other for muh demoralization and "actually you must read 9000 pages history of gay penguin oil research to critique me".
The vast majority, if not everyone on this thread will never be a great, or even decent writer. Stop posturing. Stop pretending. You don't have talent. The world doesn't need more books just for the sake of it. Accept it.

>>18736336
>>18736367
Feel free to fuck off then. :)

>>18736367
>The vast majority, if not everyone on this thread will never be a great, or even decent writer. Stop posturing. Stop pretending. You don't have talent. The world doesn't need more books just for the sake of it. Accept it.
Pretty sure everyone accepts this, except for the pseuds.

>>18736367
I don't claim to be great or even good, but I'll give it the old college try, mister.

>>18736370
Feel free to fuck off yourself, snowflake.

>>18736382
I'm not the one getting offended by the friendly suggestion that I leave because I'm currently in a place I keep writing posts about hating. :)

>>18736390
This is literally the first time I have posted in this general

Fuck the nay-saying retards above, let's get this thread back on track.
What are you guys writing? What are you planning to write? How far are you? Do you plan to try and get published?
Remember, the only person who decides if you're gonna make it is you.

I'm about 110k through my science fantasy novel about an assassin who is given an impossible contract in the backdrop of a city filled with warring factions and intrigue from within, and a vicious enemy from with-out. He has to navigate the perils of his profession and the fanatic loyalty he is expected to show to the ruler of the city, all the while a bunch of machiavellian shit keeps happening around him and his own actions inadvertently cause a war of assassin's in the streets.

I'm maybe 20k words from finishing, should be done in the next month. Then I'm gonna edit and submit to agents, and if that fails I'll probably just self publish it.

>>18736414
Ignore him, guy just ignores all of /wg/'s problems.

>>18736428
Post sample.

>>18736430
The only problem in this thread are the faggots posting about how shit the thread is and how we're not going to make it. Those people can fucking leave if they're not going to do anything productive here. They're just wasting everyone's time.

>>18736440
I mean, you have people trying to give critique, and people call them crabs, we’re at an impasse when it comes to this.

>>18736428
Sounds great man! The most important part is enjoying the process and doing what it takes to reagh your goals. Get your shit out there no matter what.
I’m going the self pub route right away cause i don’t have time to wait for rejections. Gotta be the first cause the rest will be called copycats.

>>18736428
I'm soooooooo close to releasing my 2nd book, almost there. Just coming up with the launch plans. :)

I actually think I will do a limited run of 100 books for a first edition, each one numbered and signed, and I will send a bunch out to YouTubers I like and see if I can get any attention. Also I will test out some ads and see how many I can sell in August. I think I could have my 100 books ready by mid-August.

Once I get feedback on the book from people who finish the paperback, I will release a 2nd edition with further polish in like sept-oct

>>18736428
How long have you been working on it?

Trying to edit my second novel but it's slow going. In between that, writing some short stories and planning out the fourth novel. Will probably try and submit some short stories soon as there are a couple that could be tweaked into something 'trendy'. Submitting any novels is still a long way off.

>>18736446
>>18736452
See shit like this is what I hate. You faggots only ever talk about the process of writing - why not talk about your work itself? It's like you just want to chat about your dumbass hobby instead of actually improving. Makes me wonder how incredibly bad your work is if you never post it.

>>18736438
I need to edit it first desu. There's no point me posting anything until I've done that.

>>18729134
Honestly this.

>>18736457
Feel free to talk about your own work. Some people want to talk about the process.

>>18736457
People here don’t write, how many times does this need to be said? There used to be a clique of writers in the past, but they’re gone now.

>>18736455
Since I started watching Savage Audits and after being originally inspired by 90+ days of AustinZone streams showing the attacks on the Portland courthouse.

I wanted to write a book on what would happen if they defunded the police in Vancouver and someone snaps because their bike got stolen... then I plotfagged a bunch of twists and turns and ended up with a book that makes liquor store employees totally gush! I'm so happy with the progress but need to polish further before I release something with any obvious mistakes. I fucked up on the tenses and /lit/ quickly called me a faggot for that. I plotfagged so hard I forgot to even fix the tenses!

>>18736144
>using microshit: streetshitting inside

>>18736445
>keeps externalizing
Consider that maybe your critique wasn’t really relevant. I’ve posted critique often and have never ever gotten crab or any of the things you’re mentioning as a reply. Consider this: maybe it’s you?

>>18736463
And that's how you get faggots like that one dude who posted his finished novel last thread and it was absolute garbage.

>>18736464
No they do write, I'm 100% certain. They just write things worse than fanfiction and visit this thread to use it as a desiccated version of twitter for autistic writers.

>>18736457
https://jason-bryan.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/tsk-chap1-july19.pdf

Here's a week old chapter 1!

>>18736457
And you faggots are one of the reasons I don't want to post anything. You just want to tear people's work apart in the name of some shitty critique, you don't want to help people improve.

If I'm trying to get published, why the fuck would I post my stuff on fucking 4chan of all places, and for no other reason so that you can sit on your fucking ass and tell me how bad everything I write is despite the fact you've ever written anything of your own?

what sounds better to you?
Money doesn't matter says the billionaire
Appearance doesn't matter says the super model

or

Money doesn't matter says the millionaire
Appearance doesn't matter says the model

>>18736477
Seek help Jason

>>18736428
Historical fiction. Doing final revisions, about 1 month from completion. 95k words, will be about 100k-110k when complete.

>>18736482
Living my best life anon, are you?

>>18736478
So you're afraid to see your work under a critical lens? You're never going to make it.

>>18736480
I have no idea what I'm even looking at, honestly. ESL?

>>18736477
We already told you last thread, you need to start from square one.

>>18736494
Seek help

>>18736495
Someone posted an 8 month old draft of my 2nd novel in that thread, not exactly close to what I have now!

>>18736495
No, I'm afraid of publishers finding my work posted on 4chan and then refusing to publish me because there's proof that I'm associated with this shithole.

>>18736268
Read more real books

>>18736281
This general has always been shit, as have been its predecessors. No one here actually writes anything, except for that one brazilian anon some years ago, who was actually writing an epic or some shit.

>>18736367
Lol there's like two samples posted this whole thread and you're too much of a pussy to even directly respond to either of them

>>18736463
You can do that at reddit. The only good thing about 4chan is that you can call out useless cringe bullshit. Negativity is desirable. Now, kill yourself.

>>18736501
I think you are the one who needs help, considering you are not creating or adding any value to this /wg/ :)

>>18736504
Alright, I'll check it. Give me a bit, I'm technically at work right now.

>>18736507
???

>>18736510
Post your best passage/poem, I have never written a critique but I will for you. You are probably not gonna like it though, but hey, who knows.

>>18736512
Neither are you, Jason. Seek help.

>>18736428
>What are you guys writing?
Novel about my life and times in military service
>What are you planning to write?
Friend of mine and I might write a fantasy short story collection together, we'll see.
>How far are you?
128k words in.
>Do you plan to try and get published?
Yes.

>>18736524
I'm encouraging others, adding to my own writing and posting my writing.

Why don't you post your writing?

>>18736534
Seek help, Jason.

>>18736534
>encouraging talentless morons to clutter the world with their worthless scribblings
How exactly is that a good thing?

>>18736544
God bless you, friend!

>>18736534
ywnbaw

>>18736551
It isn't. He's part of the problem.

>>18736551
Why are you even here?

>>18736522
She wordlessly pokes the fire with a stick, hunched forward. He’s considering rolling over to sleep when she speaks again.
“Have you ever tried to kill yourself?”
He freezes up. “Why do you ask?”
“Sorry. I’m very drunk.”
“You sound quite lucid.”
“I am. My head just goes weird places.”
She tosses a crumb of cheese into the fire, watching it sizzle and melt into pungent black smoke.
“The last time I tried,” she says, “was almost three years ago. I brought a lighter and a gallon of fuel and I sat on the steps of a big government building full of people making decisions that don’t affect them. Only it wasn’t full of them yet, because it was the middle of the night, so I sat there watching the stars and waited. I wanted to disgust them. I wanted them to see my charred flesh and vomit all over their neatly ironed suits.”
She prods a log and sends sparks into the air.
“I was really mad. I felt impotent and I wanted to do something. But I think that was an excuse, too. I had just lost a lot of people who depended on me and I think I was afraid to squander my first moment without obligations. But it didn’t matter in the end. When the first office workers filed off their streetcars and into the building they didn’t even look at me. They didn’t even bother to call security. Just another crazed beggar. They didn’t even look in my direction when I started yelling and crying. I was so frustrated I felt like I would explode and I couldn’t do anything without feeling more and more impotent. I gave up. I drank until I couldn’t feel anything. It didn’t work, but I kept trying.”
She looks over her shoulder at the sleeping form of Lucille, a dark shape in the flickering light.
“And then I saw her.”
She looks back at the fire.
“And then she saw me. And I lost my chance. I don’t think I’ll ever get another.”

>>18736551
You're literally no-one, your critiques do not matter, and nobody here cares what you think. More than that, you are not any position of authority on writing. You have no idea what talent is, you have no idea what good writing looks like.

>>18736588
The difference between us? I realize that.

>>18736588
Imagine being this much of a pseud

>>18736588
>you have no idea what good writing looks like.
No one here does, you pseud.

>>18728232
What's better?

>John looked at Sarah. His hands curled into fists. "I've had about enough of your bullshit."
>"Oh, please," she laughed. "You'll never do anything about it."
OR
>John looked at Sarah. His hands curled into fists.
>"I've had about enough of your bullshit."
>"Oh, please," she laughed. "You'll never do anything about it."

This is a short example, but basically feels weird when long paragraphs have dialogue at the end and not sure if it's better to just have it be it's own paragraph.

>>18736585
This sounds like it was written by an instagram whore trying to be deep

>>18736132
There's also the things they carried great novel. Interesting I just pickup whatever catches my eye. Whenever you do publish hope it gets an anime I get tired of the high school focus.

>>18736616
The latter. New dialogue always on its own line, yo.

>>18736632
Lol, care to post your own sample?

>>18736675
cope

>>18736675
No, I am a bad writer

>>18735397
Bump.

>>18736696
Use google to find the answer.

>>18736677
I'm just genuinely curious if you have an example of what makes good heartfelt emotional writing vs fakedeep, or whether you're on cynical autopilot reading david foster wallace and immediately reeing at any emotional vulnerability in yourself or others. I don't really care about this sample as much as your fascinating contempt for earnestness but I'd still like to hear what could be done better if you have an answer :p

>>18736719
There are people here who only exist to tear others down.

>>18736719
There are people here who only exist to tell people the truth.

>>18736585
>pungent black smoke
How can black smoke be pungent? It's fucking smoke, it smells like smoke

Overall it sounds edgy and stilted. It might work in context, but it reads like you've been watching too much capeshit and thinking people actually talk this way.

>>18736504
>>18736517
It's still awful. The first fucking line:
>A ray of sunshine settles right across Ken's tired eyes
Even ignoring that it's cliche (sunshine) and a bad hook, the prose itself is poor. "right across" is awkward. "tired eyes" is showing, not telling, and you need to understand when to show and when to tell. This is the time for imagery.

>Using a pillow at first, he finds another few minutes of slumber. He dozes away happily until a loud bang erupts down the block and echoes throughout the alleyway.
>"Not again with the bear-bangers," Ken mumbles, rolling over gently, getting out of bed and stumbling to the restroom. After some relief, he stares in the mirror. His almond eyes are looking haggard. His 5 o'clock shadow is more playoff beard than professional, and his hair is a total mess.
Again, the beginning of your story is not the time for mentally stunted prose. There are so many things wrong - let me just fucking rewrite it for you.

>He presses his face into the fabric of his pillow, swirling it around until he freezes, finding the perfect statue-esque pose to doze away in. His lips form into a sick, sardonic grin as he begins to snore - but just a moment after, like a thunderclap, an echoing bang erupts down the block. His eyes rip open.
>"Not again- fuck- the fucking bear-bangers," Ken whines. He rolls over the side of his bed, stumbling onto his feet, then continues into the bathroom. His hands grip the side of the countertop while his eyes pierce into the mirror: there, he sees a man. Almond-shaped pupils, blendered hair, 5'oclock shadow like a field of thorns and bristles.
This took me like 5 minutes. Get real. I'm not going to even bother reading further. God knows whether your plot is miraculously good or as bad as your prose.

>>18736585
Pseuds who don't write are hating on you.

>>18736739
Thanks for the reply, not sure exactly where all your salt comes from. I'm extremely creative and the plot is not something you'd be able to predict!

>>18736750
>Pseuds are trying to falseflag now
Pathetic

>>18736757
Salt? There's no salt. Your work is just so bad that I feel I need to be rude in order to get across exactly how bad it is.

>>18736739
One thing, Vancouver has so many hockey-obsessed nomies, the "more playoff beard than professional" line is appropriate for the character, the character being that type of normie.

>>18736724
That's what I'm saying, I'd love to see into the depths of this guy's heart if it does exist beneath a thorny bramble of memewords :-\
>>18736736
Have you ever set something fatty on fire? It has a funny smell to it, but perhaps I could word it better.

The context is following many chapters of awkward overly polite comedy of manners (+ the speaking character usually being very blunt and not wordy). The ending lines are a little stilted, I want to rework those maybe, but i don't watch capeshit lol. More Bronte and Austen in here, it's a bit of a period piece, so everyone talks rather stuffy.

>>18736760
Ignore him. That's how people cope when they get critique. They ignore it, or call the other person a "crab".

>>18736760
How many books do you even read? I have had stacks of "New York Times Bestsellers" here that don't have the flowery prose you re-wrote my stuff as.

Like what books would you say are up to your quality?

>>18736771
There are plenty of "valid" or "good" writing styles. You just lack the basics. My writing style is "1950's style", but that doesn't mean it's necessarily any better or worse than more modern, "upfront" writing styles. That's just comparing apples and oranges.
Your writing style just lacks the basics. Doesn't matter what writing style you choose, it will be bad until you work on improving.

>>18736766
Here's another exchange with the same character from much earlier

“Hey!” he calls.
She looks downhill wordlessly.
“Sorry I uh. I had an odd question. You know where I can take a bath around here?”
She looks flatly at him and gestures into the terrace.
“You can bathe in here.”
“Really?”
“No. It was a joke. It’s night soil. I wouldn’t; unless you’re into that.”
“Oh. I thought it was mud.”
“You thought we bathe in mud?”
“I mean I know pigs do, right?”
“They wallow to cool off, not to get clean.”
“Oh.”
A silence.
***
He watches her gaze at her handiwork, her chin lifted a little.
“That’s. Really impressive honestly. You seem like a very intelligent woman,” he says.
She tilts her head down to glance at him.
“I wish you weren’t so polite. I’ve been waiting for you to say something weird so I can tell you I know how to castrate livestock.”
“Sorry.”

>>18736719
>example of what makes good heartfelt emotional writing
Hamsun, Stendahl, Dostoevsky, Tolstoy, Pushkin, Hugo, Kleist, etc. Just read more.

>your fascinating contempt for earnestness
I have no contempt for it. I have contempt for your utter lack of talent.

>>18736767
What the fuck does crab mean? Is /lit/ inventing terms again?

>>18736793
Okay, where should I start improving?

My ideas are great and I have endless creativity, just no formal education.

I'll release the 1st edition soon after a bit more polish, get some feedback, and work on a 2nd edition later. Just need to get this book out into the world and work on the sequel. The plot is really original and, so far, all of the blue collar types who have read it really like it. Not trying to be the next Shakespeare here.

>>18736799
>What the fuck does crab mean? Is /lit/ inventing terms again?
Ever since the pseuds exterminated the animewriters, they needed a new excuses as to why they don't write. Crab became that new excuse.

>>18736807
But what does it mean? How are crabs related to coping with being called out on being a bad writer?

>>18736807
This place basically exists to shit on anyone who writes, haha!

>>18736815
Well, that's the next best thing to this place not existing.

>>18736807
>But what does it mean?
>Crab mentality, also known as crab theory, crabs in a bucket (also barrel, basket, or pot) mentality, or the crab-bucket effect, is a way of thinking best described by the phrase "if I can't have it, neither can you".

This is the reason why pseuds use it. Anyone who critiques is a "crab".

>>18736811
>But what does it mean?
>Crab mentality, also known as crab theory, crabs in a bucket (also barrel, basket, or pot) mentality, or the crab-bucket effect, is a way of thinking best described by the phrase "if I can't have it, neither can you".
This is the reason why pseuds use it. Anyone who critiques is a "crab".

>>18736820
I think "crab" is appropriate when this /wg/ just ends up a negative place where people just shit on anyone creating. Then the people offering "help" pretty much never post any of their own material or prove they've ever taken a risk to create. It's bizarre, why do people even come here?

>>18736829
>I think "crab" is appropriate when this /wg/ just ends up a negative place where people just shit on anyone creating
Except it isn’t. There are a few people here who legitimately tried to help other anons but were called crabs because of it. Now, people are crabs if they offer any critique people don’t like.

>>18736829
Seeing other people struggle the way I do makes me feel like I'm part of somethin greater than myself.

>>18736826
top kek
sounds like one of the biggest copes I have seen on /lit/
I hate these anglo millenial tourists with delusions of one day being able to become great writers
everything posted here sounds like cheap 21st century commercial fiction, I would expect better from /lit/
excessive dialogue, narrow vocabulary, mundane neo-realism, boring-ass zoomer characters, etc.

>>18736829
Being negative is literally the best thing about 4chan. Some fiction is just iredeemably bad, there is no reason to critique it. Maybe if you show enough negativity they will finally realize that they will never be real writers.

>Then the people offering "help" pretty much never post any of their own material or prove they've ever taken a risk to create
How are you this dense? Why the fuck do you need to "prove" anything? Judging is easier than creating.

>>18736806
I don't have a formal writing education either. I'm a CS graduate student, and I was in a similar spot to you about 5 years ago, albeit without a finished 110k word novel. Improve by looking at your work critically. If you're incapable of seeing what's wrong, have someone else look at it and point it out (i.e. your imagery is bottom-tier). Then apply it to the rest of your work and try improving it with that in mind. That's why a formal writing education isn't 100% worthless - you have easy access to other views and opinions.
Also, read real fucking books. Doesn't need to be Asimov or Hemingway if you don't want to write like them. Check out GOOD modern writers. Good luck finding them. It's a lot easier to improve when you can compare your work to established good writers.

>all of the blue collar types who have read it really like it
Who you're looking to impress is the crowd who will buy your book. And it's not like these chucks have high standards, but probably higher standards than your prose. Who knows, maybe your plot is actually good. But I'm not going to bother reading it with that prose.

>>18736846
Oh, and I forgot the pathetic attempts at pomo experimentalism, those are even worse than the instagram whore shit

>>18736849
>GOOD modern writers
There are maybe 5 and they are all uniquely autistic and won't be of much help.
Reading Murnane might be useful though.
Stop having a hipster fetish for the new though, faggot

>>18736859
I literally just posted an excerpt that is not "hipster", thanks, my point is if he wants to write modern then he needs to read modern.

>>18736863
I literally don't know who you are, the thread is moving too fast
My point is that wanting to write "modern" is faggotry unless your goal is to make money (in which case you are retarded for trying to do so by writing)

>>18736875
>My point is that wanting to write "modern" is faggotry
Stop being a pseud.

>>18736879
Stop being a trend-chasing hipster.

>>18736799
You do give the impression of resentful cynicism with two word meme responses :-/ if I knew you better I'd love to send you a longer manuscript since a short excerpt does fall flat in elements that have been built up over time (I chose that scene not due to my opinion but a friend who called it her favorite, building on past events), but I don't want to post a novel to an imageboard. I'd still like to hear more of how you think earnest emotion is executed properly beyond a wall of big names but I do realize that sounds baity

>>18736849
How would you know my imagery is bottom-tier when you have read next to nothing?

This is what people mean by being a crab. You are shitting all over someone from a tiny fraction of the work. The plot is really creative!

https://jason-bryan.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/tsk-chap2-july28.pdf

Seems like being a prosefag is something only for people with extremely high standards. Like I'm not trying to please the Michelin dining crowd here. I just want to be as tasty and enjoyable as a big mac when hungover!

>>18736887
Seek help Jason.

>>18736890
I am, this thread is great!

God bless you friend!

>>18736884
Open a random fragment from Pan, or Anna Karenina or whatever. If you seriously can't see the difference between them (even in translation) and the shit you wrote, if only at a stylistic level, you are beyond help.

>>18736895
Seek help.

>>18736875
Depends on what you mean by modern. Less embellishment is a fine way to write - I consider that "modern". I posted >>18736739 and I would consider my rewrite of his work to be a hybrid of modern and 1900's styles. Also, wish I knew how better to describe writing styles than "modern" and "1900s". Would help me describe what I mean better.

>>18736887
Grow up. I've read the most important part of your book, the first page. It was terrible. If you can't make that good imagery, you will never have good imagery.
I'm not trying to pull you down. Maybe you even could find some shoddy publisher to get you 100 sales. But your work is bad. I say this 100% unironically.

>>18736905
I am seeking help in the /wg/ thread.

Asking for help is what this thread is for. Are you okay, anon?

>>18736909
You haven't even read any of the plot. I'll take your advice and really polish the 1st chapter up, but for you to discount my entire plot based on some erudite level of prose you demand is just being a crab.

>>18736912
Seek Help.

>>18736919
I am seeking help in the /wg/ thread.

Asking for help is what this thread is for. Are you okay, anon?

>>18736918
I literally told you I don't know whether your plot is good or not since I didn't fucking read it. But here's an analogy: some filmmaker makes a movie with windows movie maker and recorded on his Nokia. It could have the best plot in the world, but I won't ever watch it since it was recorded on your fucking Nokia and looks like absolute garbage.

>>18736585
Yeah, this is decent. Like someone said, but i think in context it can be good.

>>18736922
Seek Help.

>>18736902
Drop discord? Can we be writing penpals, please? :p I can give you nicer constructive feedback if you want

>>18736923
Again you're coming across as a crab. You've offered absolutely zero positive input and comparing my writing to a Nokia, having not even given the entire chapter a read. That's acting in bad faith.

I wouldn't be surprised if you look like a complete nerd too.

>>18736931
I am seeking help in the /wg/ thread.

Asking for help is what this thread is for. Are you okay, anon?

>>18736940
Whatever you say. I gave you feedback. Told you what was wrong. Choose to take it or not. Good luck finding a publisher - you will need it if you aren't going to improve.

>>18736942
Seek Help.

Jason. What a beautiful name. Reginald could hear it in the wind outside his window, he could hear it in the rain falling on his roof, in the creaking of the house settling. Jason, Jason, Jason!
O, if that divine Adonis had but been there now, rather than the wooden cock inherited from grand-aunt Tess! But Reginald had to make do. With the grease from his breakfast bacon he lubed the cock up and slid into his hemorrhoid-infested arse, the pain of the popping pustules making his arms shake and vision blur.
"Jason, o Jason, let this be the mast of thy Argo!" cried Reginald, sobbing. "Let no crabs scuttle across thy hull! Clean, clean and oiled let it be, as am I washed clean in the blood of my sacrament!"
Warm blood ran down his ass-cheeks, dripped along his thighs and pooled on the sheets. Thus was his maidenhead offered on the altar of his muse, and so is the curtain closed on this thread for my part.

>>18736887
>>18736918
Stop responding sincerely, you're just jerking them off. Respond to those who say things of value, ignore those who are just trying to shit up the thread.

>>18736909
>>18736739
>muh showing not telling
half of the western canon btfo I guess

>A ray of sunshine settles right across Ken's
right across -> on
the entire sentence is worthless and idiotic though, delete it

>Using a pillow at first, he finds another few minutes of slumber. He dozes away happily until a loud bang erupts down the block and echoes throughout the alleyway.
Poor sentence structure, and I can already feel retarded plot

>>"Not again with the bear-bangers," Ken mumbles, rolling over gently, getting out of bed and stumbling to the restroom. After some relief, he stares in the mirror. His almond eyes are looking haggard. His 5 o'clock shadow is more playoff beard than professional, and his hair is a total mess.
Faggotry

>He presses his face into the fabric of his pillow, swirling it around until he freezes, finding the perfect statue-esque pose to doze away in. His lips form into a sick, sardonic grin as he begins to snore - but just a moment after, like a thunderclap, an echoing bang erupts down the block. His eyes rip open.
Much better but the sentences are still worthless

>"Not again- fuck- the fucking bear-bangers," Ken whines. He rolls over the side of his bed, stumbling onto his feet, then continues into the bathroom. His hands grip the side of the countertop while his eyes pierce into the mirror: there, he sees a man. Almond-shaped pupils, blendered hair, 5'oclock shadow like a field of thorns and bristles.
Many stupid words. Use better words.

>>18736937
Sorry, I am not gay. I also can't write anything above 500 words because I get disgusted by how bad it is after that.

>>18736940
Your style is just garbage man. Its painful to read. You should spend at least 1000 hours reading classical prose before you try to write again.

>>18736952
>Pseuds defending their own
You're the reason why /wg/ is dying.

Wait, so what happened was one guy asked if anyone here was actually writing books rather than manga/anime and the whole fucking thread exploded?
Pretty cool i guess but here's the rundown of it:
>the "pseud" spamming anime autist should stop posting shitposts and post crit or own material
>jason bryan should start considering the critique rather than just dodging it
>a couple of people try to get serious feedback
>general confusion

I like it!

>>18736955
I didn't go into detail, but there's a balance between showing and telling you need to reach based on what kind of writing style you're going for. He literally just told and told and told the entire time and it was absolutely awful to read.

And I do think my rewrite of his work isn't perfect, but who am I to spend more than 5 minutes on this delusional schizoid? It seems he's received so much negative feedback - some of it serious, some of it not - that he's begun to label all negative feedback as being given from a "crab", whatever the fuck that is. And now he lives in a world of denial and avoidance.
>Many stupid words. Use better words.
Half of the words were his, so best specify which ones.

>>18736952
It's pretty funny to watch the attacks on the prose happen when the plot is the most interesting part. If you want to read flowery prose, I'm sure there are a ton of books that read beautifully but aren't telling the stories about life in 2021.

I'm telling the stories about modern times, this is how I write, I'll keep working on polishing it but not too much as I want my target audience to be the average joe who is looking for entertainment outside of Netflix or video games. Not looking to attract an audience that normally reads classical literature.

>>18736988
Anon, just because people hate pseuds don't make it there's only one.

>>18736996
My plot is highly entertaining and the story is very original. I use a lot of show don't tell in the book but you're too much of a pseud to even give it a chance.

Do you have any of your own work to post so I can learn from you, master? Or are you yet another non-creator...

>>18737002
nono i mean the butthurt anime guy that keeps spamming "pseuds made anime guys fuck off and now wg is dying".
I guess i should try improve my writing clearly skills

Whereupon a man is born. He wishes to be great. A great, great man. A great writer. He wishes to be respected. Throughout his life he suffers mediocrity. He fails highschool math. No matter. He claims that he has the soul of an artist - he comes to believe that mathematics has too much structure for him and that he can be great in other ways. He wishes to be a great writer. He didn't want to be bad at mathematics. He thought he would be good. He wanted to be great. But he failed. It can not be argued, mathematics is an objective discipline. So he plunges into art. He reads biographies. He reads one about Van Gogh, one about Kafka, another about James Joyce, all famously underappreciated in their own time. He worries that he will be like them. He is not afraid of lacking talent. He knows, he is certain, he can not doubt - he has talent. He can be great, he should be read centuries after his death. He must be immortalized. But the establishment is corrupt. They do not allow him to shine. He can not be understood, for he is great writer in an age of cynicism. Upon his death he enters the afterlife. He sees the many greats of ages past drinking rum. He is not allowed to join them. There is nothing he could do. They sneer at him. He is forgotten, his soul failed to individuate. He throws himself at the whirling cosmic soup of consciousness. He has finally accepted his destiny.

>>18736955
We could be wattpat yaoi lovers :flushed:

>>18737036
>"pseuds made anime guys fuck off and now wg is dying
But he’s right though?

>>18737036
>"pseuds made anime guys fuck off and now wg is dying"
Pretty sure, again, its more than one person posting that.

>>18737000
let me ask you this then: what critique would you accept? you're not accepting critique about your tenses being all fucked up. You're not accepting critique about your conversations being unrealistic. You're not accepting critique about your prose. What the fuck do you even want from us?

>>18737054
Guy is a pseud. He won't accept any critique unless he gets a fellatio.

>>18737051
i guess >>18737043 is in on it too so you might be right. None the less i like this shitshow so let's keep at it and see when the jannies start nuking the threads.

A lot of people don't know how to give critique. A few people are genuinely snowflakes when you give feedback, but most can handle it. There are people on /wg/ who will just say "wow this is complete shit, kill yourself" and if you point out that it isn't very helpful critique they'll call you a baby or retarded. Good critique means explaining what worked and what didn't and why you think so, with specific detail. If you are aware of rules or tips that apply you should share them. The writer's job in turn is not try to refute all the criticism's points, but to listen and answer only questions asked, and when it's time to return critique to others.

>>18737071
Jason received completely valid and helpful, if aggressive, criticism, and again he just talked about how he isn't trying to be "like the literary classics" and how "his plot is actually really good". Sad.

>>18737071
Its not about helping you write better. Its about helping you realize you will never write well.

>>18737082
Yeah see, this is exactly what not to do. The problem is that this is the way most responses are in general on 4chan. Vindictive, about "winning," making yourself feel better by putting others down, etc. Fine for 4chan, but it makes for really shitty feedback when you're actually trying to create something.

>>18737090
Stop trying to create something.

>>18737067
Pretty sure its a common sentiment here.

>>18737054
I fixed the tenses already, how are the conversations unrealistic?! That's the first I've seen that comment.

Also, the prose is not that bad, it is not meant to be overly flowery, maybe the standards on /lit/ are very high? I like to dream up these stories and characters, the prose itself doesn't have to be some sort of epic work of art, it just needs to tell the story. I mean, can you point out a modern book that has levels of prose that you think I could learn from?

>>18736943
>Told you what was wrong.
This is exactly what you faggots don't seem to understand about criticism. If someone asks for advice or criticism, you tell them what you think and that's it. You aren't telling them what they're doing right or wrong, because you're a fucking nobody on 4chan, and any angry/forceful attempts to persuade people just invalidates your opinion and solidify yourself as a pseud who thinks their opinion is an objective truth that they're graciously endowing on others. I didn't read his shit because most stuff here is shit - I only show up to give advice about publishing because I'm in the business - but you have provided nothing at all beyond simple "dis bad, make dis so me like" which is to be expected as you're only giving your opinion on so that it suits your personal tastes, not delivering universal truths. You are the type of person that actually notices prose, which is not most sheep who read stories without consciously noticing tone or structure or anything beyond chapter length and "what happened" and you have personal preferences, which is to be expected, but yours are not right, there IS no right. There are types of readers and each has different desires, preferences, expectations. Half of the editors we hire are fags like you that end up quitting after a few months because they never publish anything because they don't realize they're only trying to find a book that they personally like, not viewing books from the standpoint of the intended audience. And, big surprise, most of them also have a hard time reading in general because they have so many critiques with books they drop them all; another reason why you should realize that your opinion is personal and meaningless in a context when reviewing a book that isn't for you.

Also, Jason, fuck off to somewhere else for critique because you won't find anything of worth here.

>>18737107
Look art is subjective but smearing shit on a wall is objectively shit. Jason's story is bad enough to be objectively bad.

>>18737107
Sounds like you are coping with receiving negative feedback

>>18737115
>art is subjective
Never post on my board again

>>18737107
That's sad man, I'm banned everywhere else!

>>18737115
How is the story bad when nobody on /lit/ has read any of it to know even what's happening in the plot?

>>18737117
I'm coping with a bad day at work now leaking over into /lit/.

>>18737115
If it is, then I retract what I've said to that anon personally, but what I said still stands in general to most people who critique in this thread.

>>18737135
Because stylistically it looks like it was written by a 4 year old ESL autist.

>>18737135
The prose is that fucking bad. It's not a matter of "not my cup of tea", it's really fucking bad.

>>18737139
>If it is, then I retract what I've said to that anon personally, but what I said still stands in general to most people who critique in this thread.
Jason has been shilling his work for weeks and received completely valid and helpful, if aggressive, criticism. He choose to ignore it and call everyone a crab. Guy is a pseud.

Are my sentences too long?

He’d be cold enough to sleep in pants too but his stiff grey work pants aren’t quite as comfortable as her wool leggings. He does apologize for the indecency of stripping to boxers and a sweater but she swears she doesn’t mind; her eyes seem to catch on the thighs firmed by a season of labor but he could be imagining it. He only has to insist thrice that he has enough blanket before he can lay on his side and watch the fire dim. Of course, he can sense her; his tingling stomach can feel her wriggling into the blankets to get comfortable but the hairs standing up on his neck keep him rigid even when the rhythm of her breath spreads the tingling to his chest and down his arms until his fingertips beg to reach out and grab a pillow to hold to his chest and squeeze. He’s certain she’s asleep until she stirs and mumbles.

>>18737172
WHY IS EVERYTHING IN THIS GENERAL SO MUNDANE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I DONT GET IT WHATS THE APPEAL
I AM GENUINELY ASKING

>>18737172
The second to last one is a bit long but the others look fine to me.

>>18737151
You guys here must all be really high IQ, the liquor store employees and pot shop workers seem to enjoy the book!

>>18737181
>WHY IS EVERYTHING IN THIS GENERAL SO MUNDANE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I mean there was, once a time, where we had writers with variety but they're gone now. Thank the pseuds for that one.

>>18737189
Go publish then. Why are you even here?

>>18737158
Seems like the prose isn't that much different than what I read from "New York Times bestsellers", in fact, I have been consuming a decent supply of books lately and don't really see an issue with the prose.

I was checking out some James Patterson and that dude is extremely popular and the writing isn't too flowery nor too barren. Seems like /wg/ is not interested in actually reading. The plot is quite charming and the book is an easy read for the average joe, which is what I'm aiming for.

>>18737192
Yeah, I remember birdanon for example, or that fantasy anime guy, at least they didn't all sound the same

>>18737192
Fuck off.

>>18737208
If you think your writing is anything like a "New York Times Bestseller", you don't have eyes.

>>18737210
>birdanon for example, or that fantasy anime guy
They’re never coming back are they?

>>18737221
We lost a lot of writers.

>>18737195
I thought I could find some fellow counter-culture writers. Seems like the people who linger in this space are not really bros or readers at all, a shame, really, since the mainstream world of publishing is completely the antithesis of the world I want to be in.

I write my books for people like me, free minds who don't really follow any ideology but who understand the need for dark humour in these bizarre times. Kind of a shame to see how little support the modern author gets on here when I write about the conditions of life that we face in 2021.

>>18737210
>fantasy anime guy
is that me? does someone remember what i posted? no, it couldnt be

>>18737229
This has to be fucking bait. There's no way

>>18737181
Wdym? :0

>>18736950
Okay so I know who Jason refers to but who's Reginald?

>>18737210
I remember one anime anon who wrote like four or five short stories just to fuck with the pseuds who kept making excuses.

>>18737238
No, he’s serious and the pseuds will back him up on it.

>>18737217
I'm reading one right now...

>>18737247
I remember when you weren't a faggot making up shit. Oh wait, that never happened either

>>18737254
I remember that as well. Keep seething you sack of shit.

>>18737238
Why would it be bait?!

>>18737254
>making up shit.
Holy shit, fuck off, it happened.

>>18736477
I went to the trouble of reading the damn thing to see what the fuss was about

>A ray of sunshine settles right across Ken's tired eyes
Jesus Christ

Are you 15, Jason? You need to read more and practice more. Every single sentence is wrong. I'm sorry but the entire thing is banal and worthless. The prose is just very repulsive.

It's very hard to critique when the whole tone is this wrong.
Stop using a thesaurus. And stop going into such tiny detail, unless you're showing something interesting. You give too much detail and use too much dialogue. Ken just keeps doing banal stuff that adds nothing to the piece.

I've been reading Tolstoy lately and your piece reminds me of his use of small, offhand details - a character that holds his cigar a certain way, or the way someone looks at someone else, that give actual insight into the characters and their mood. You might want to read some of his stuff to see their effect when it's done right.

Don't listen to that first fag who tried to rewrite your stuff either, his prose sucks almost as much as yours.

Just keep rewriting, let it mature, rewrite some more and submit again when you're done.

>>18737261
Damn it is brutal to see how mean people are to each other here!

>>18737261
Kill yourself, autistic faggot. Some "life" you have, fucking with strangers on a pedo cartoon forum. Does your dad know what a failure you are?

>>18737253
>There were predators beyond the wire. I knew they were there, although in the months I had been released from incarceration I hadn't yet seen one. My even ritual was to come down to the shore and look for the ominous rise of two dead eyes above the surface of the water, the flick of a spiky tail. Feeding time. Half a ton of prehistoric reptile lolling and sliding beneath the sunset-lit water, separated from me by nothing but an old, rusty fence.

If you can't see the difference between this and your writing, you need to get a vasectomy.

>>18737275
The 27 chapter story is great, so many twists and turns!

Not sure what is so bad about the character waking up to sunshine on his eyes. :)

>>18737295
By the way, do you have some form of autism or aspergers or something?

>>18737281
>Actually seething
Get some help. Therapy might help you. At the very least, it'll help you not ruin another general.

>>18737281
Nah, you can fuck off you piece of shit.

>>18737283
Not exactly sure how to compare the opening lines when Ken is waking up from sleeping in, while the other book is describing something in the 1st person past tense?

If you want to have a stab at changing the first line of my book, I'd like to see what your idea is?

>>18737295
>so many twists and turns!
That's not the point. No one will read your shitty twists if the prose is this bad.

Just accept it sucks and move on. Can you genuinely not see what's wrong with your first sentence? Can't you find one single fault? I'm asking in good faith.

>>18737311
This type of stuff is why it is hard to take you guys seriously, you're so vicious to each other it makes any real critique suspicious.

>>18737320
The opening line simply describes the condition he wakes up in. Not sure what's so bad about it?

>>18737319
I'm done having this conversation. Good luck publishing.

>>18737307
>>18737311
Always the two of you. Is the other guy your little brother or just your fucking phone? I come here once a week just to call you a fucking faggot. It's easy because you're always here and easy to spot. Always trying to start shit, like it's the meaning of your life. Keep up like that and you'll get early cancer and die, and everybody you know will celebrate that day. Is that the kind of a fucked up end you want for yourself?

>>18737340
You schizophrenic or what?

>>18737340
Nice cope faggot. People have different opinions than you, learn to accept it.

>>18737347
>>18737348
Instant double response, like clockwork. Jesus, you're fucked

Guys, can I ask for an extra set of eyes for my idea? >>18730239

I'm about halfway in already, getting to the girl's death.

I might place the nuking in the middle and retell the story with slight differences to imply they've reached a parallel universe, and it only gets explained at the very end (or not at all).
Does it sound too clever?

>>18737359
Nigger, I have no idea the fuck you're talking about, but take your meds already.

>>18737365
Just go to an actual writer’s forum. Why are you here?

>>18737337
How would you describe a character being awoken by sunshine?

A ray of sunshine lay across Ken's closed eyelids.

Ken could no longer ignore the sunlight laying across his eyelids.

The sunlight falls on Ken's eyelids, the orange glow disturbing his much-needed slumber.

>>18737369
Because this is the writing general, innit. People discussed ideas and gave actual critique, back in the day.
Why are you here, you twat?

>>18737377
>People discussed ideas and gave actual critique
No we don’t, the fuck your get this idea from?

>>18737365
Sounds cool anon... how about if they save the girl, one of them dies?

>>18737377
>People discussed ideas and gave actual critique,
We do?

>>18737376
Sunlight doesn't "lay". That whole sentence is whack to begin with. Why do you need to convey that the sunlight was what woke him up? Why not just
>Ken woke up tired. He had slept badly that night.
or
>Ken was awoken by the sunlight streaming into his bedroom. He felt tired.

Or some shit? The point is, why do you need to focus on the guy's eyelids? And don't write slumber, who are you, Edgar Allan Poe?

>>18737376
Writing 101. You might as well start off with "it was a dark and stormy night", that's extremely cliched. You should start off with something that draws the reader attention and paints a vivid picture for them since vivid pictures are pretty.

>>18737365
That's a fine idea. Like the other person said, it will be a matter of how good you execute it. Keep in mind though that at the end needs to have a satisfying conclusion - bittersweet conclusions like the one you're going for also need to be satisfying, and just "welcome back to the time loop" is kind of like "oh okay". You would have to execute it in a well done, satisfying way for that to work.

>>18737382
From being here for a fucking decade
I've taken some actual stories from here over the years for practice, but they turned out a bit shit

>>18737416
Those days are long gone and dead and they ain't coming back.

>>18737402
Well, he slept on a couch that is near a window, and when he sleeps in the sun is in a position to blast him in the head with warm rays. He's sleeping in because he was woken up through the night by the damn bear bangers going off all the time!

I'm trying to show the sun is high in the sky by the time he's stirring directly because he was kept up all night by the damn urban noise!

Thanks for the read anon :)

>>18737384
>>18737412
Hmm. It does sounds a bit too Rick and Morty, kek.
How about they both need to sacrifice themselves for the girl to be saved? Or maybe they finally manage to save her, but at the end they're none the wiser that they've destroyed the universe a billion times. Meaning we could all also be living in a time loop

>>18737434
Even the most widespread authors like Stephen King do dumb shit. In 11/22/63 his time travel resulted in the universe being the most cliched "dystopian nightmare" you could think of, but it's still one of my favorite novels (despite me disliking most of King's novels) since it was just so well executed with the dancing and everything.
Whichever way you think you can write to be the most beautiful will be the best route. Cause frankly none of those are even moderately original.

>>18737431
Seek help.

>>18737451
You are my help, friend. :)

What even is "anime writing"? Like, Light Novel format? Or is it a subject matter thing (e.g. harem and/or isekai)? Or is it just a matter of "if I don't like it it's 'anime'?"

>>18737477
if I don't like it it's 'anime'

>>18736428
>What are you guys writing?
I'm writing a military drama space opera.

What are you planning to write?
Toyed with the idea of writing a slice of life following a revived skeleton and a female kobold(or doll haven't decided) when I go on hiatus with the Space Opera one in a few weeks. Haven't decided on anything concrete for it so it probably won't materialize.

I also toyed with the idea of writing a prequel side story that's more militery-centric to the events of the Space opera one when I go on hiatus as well. I have more ideas for this one, and it'll probably be short but I'm not sure I will undertake it.


How far are you?
In the Space opera one, I'm about 2 volumes in or 320k words. I've been working on and off on the second to last chapter for volume 2 since the 16th. I'll probably start vol3 in late August or september when my brain isn't fried from a year of nonstop weekly writing. Overall, I'd say the story is about 10% done.

>>18737826
Don't you think you should start with just one novel and publish that first?

>>18737855
I've published my things for free on Royal Road and other platforms. I have no interest in subjecting myself to selfpub or tradpub woes.

>>18737884
Cool. Hope you're happy with what you've accomplished.

>>18728686
Can you explain?