/lit/ - Literature

>>19761695
You will never have this, incels

>>19761695
>>19761695
You will never be as smart as you think

You will never be happy basing your self-esteem off others

You will never woo your favorite e-whore by telling her you read a really big book

Plato and Aristotle

>nose piercing
its a hard pass for me, lads

>>19761757
Are you an intellectual?

>>19761695
You will all have this, incels

Incels, have this you will

>>19761695
Having read literally nothing but In Search of Lost Time is enough to make you a cultured man.

Basque-English dictionary
I don't know Basque, I just like the shape of the words

>>19761695
This Will, you never have incels

>tfw 25 yo virgin
one day bros I will have this

>>19762118
No you won't. Nothing is going to magically change in your life. The best you can hope for is once you have a job that can support a family, a washed up 35 year old woman might deign to marry you in her last ditch effort to have a baby.

>>19762118
Same we are going to make it fellow 25 year old virgin

>>19762118
>>19762157
based

>>19762151
cringe

>>19762151
I already have a job that can support a family, I have like 6 figures saved up in the bank and in investments. I live on my own and drive a convertible. I have abs and work out regularly. By the time I'm 35 I'll probably be making fuck-you money so hopefully I can somehow just find some 20 year old that wants to be a stay-at-home wife

>>19762157
just have unbridled confidence in the brightness of the future

You don't want to sound like a man of culture, you want to look like a man of culture. Which means you need to lift, not read.

>>19762165
Sounds like your plan is to change nothing in the way you approach finding a woman. Like I said, nothing in your life is going to magically change. You will remain alone. You will remain a virgin. Nothing in your life is going to magically change.

>>19762177
I'm trying to become more active on things like Tinder and Hinge, although they don't really seem to lead anywhere. Not sure where I can go to magically get a gf, the world seems to be set up in such a way that it is impossible to meet them. Most guy I know are basically perpetually alone at this point even if they're not also virgins, except for the few I knew who got lucky off of dating apps.

>>19762239
Are you silly? On the dating app, post a picture of you, post a picture of where you live, post a picture of you checking/savings account, post a picture of your car, and voila

>>19762239
GO TO CHURCH

>>19762255
Yeah I mean I get matches but as soon as I ask them out they stop replying, like they're not even on there to meet up in the first place. They just wait for me to say some funny pick up line or whatever, reply with a bare minimum like "HAHAHA oh wow" and then stop replying once I try to move things forward.

>>19762268
I've literally never been into a church I don't know anything about it. I live in the Northeast though so most of the non-ethnic ones seem to be pozzed rainbow flag type places

>>19762255
>>19762239
Oh also add in your profile that you are a virgin, you will get sympathy attention.

Have you had no converaations with women? Are you very picky?

Just say what you are looking for?

Say you know it may be awkward posting those pictures but that you had to dedicate so much of your time to achieve your success you have never had time for dating,
And now the powers of your heart are so wanting a companion that you feel you must do whatever you can to show you are a worthy catch

>>19762296
>They just wait for me to say some funny pick up line or whatever, reply with a bare minimum like "HAHAHA oh wow" and then stop replying once I try to move things forward.
What are the ways you try to move things forward? Have you ever been on a date in your life?

Have you ever hugged or held hands with a girl?

You need some practice maybe.

Post some literal transcripts of these conversations, seriously, we need to get to the bottom of this to justify this possible injustice

>>19762296
>>19762239
Oh also try the more traditional dating apps, it's not only much much more women, but they are more mature, and more human

Which depending on your own possible states of being, may or may not be a greater deterent for getting you a companion/laid

>>19762296
>Yeah I mean I get matches but as soon as I ask them out they stop replying,
Seriously, how do you talk and how do yioh ask them out? You live on north east, is it rural, like there are 50 women within a 50 mile radius?

This is why everyone moves to cities

>>19762296
>funny pick up line or whatever, reply with a bare minimum like "HAHAHA oh wow"
Give some examples of the pick up lines you are using

>>19762298
>Oh also add in your profile that you are a virgin, you will get sympathy attention.
Uh are you sure about that one lmao? That seems like it would just be a giant red flag. The last girl I went on a date with a couple years ago laughed at me when I told her I had never had a gf and definitely seemed less interested, so I can't imagine one-upping that by admitting I'm a virgin would help.

I don't really have many conversations with women in my day-to-day. I'm not personally friends with any and most of my friends are not either. A few of them have gfs but their friends all seem to be taken. Like I went out on Saturday with some friends and I hit it off with a friend of my friend's gf but she said she had a bf. My company doesn't have any girls my age either, it's pretty much all boomers.

>>19762311
I've been on dates with 2 girls in my life, one came up to me cold in the gym in college and asked me out and we went on a couple of dates but it didn't really go anywhere. The other girl I met on Bumble a couple years ago and we went on a few dates but then I spilled my spaghetti and she ended up moving to Florida. I've made out with a lot of girls, I even fingered that girl I spilled my spaghetti with and she gave me a hand job but she refused to have sex because we were in her car and I still lived with my parents at that point. Like I said though I don't really interact with many random women day-to-day so when I do it's sort of a rare occurrence.

>>19762325
I tried OkCupid a while ago but it seemed pretty dead.

>>19762335
>>19762342
I live in a beach town with a bunch of bars along the Jersey Shore, very big in the summer but sort of dead in the winter. I'm on the computer give me a sec to send a screenshot from my phone

>>19762298
>Say you know it may be awkward posting those pictures but that you had to dedicate so much of your time to achieve your success you have never had time for dating,
>And now the powers of your heart are so wanting a companion that you feel you must do whatever you can to show you are a worthy catch
>>19762296
Literally copy paste that in your profile, after adding the pictures I suggested, you might as well try it you have nothing to lose and it will increase your chances drastically.

Also get on the traditional dating sites, just do it. Ok cupid,plenty of fish , E harmony, etc.

And don't be a desperate psycho path, just be cool, don't overly try to have the most brainy zany pick up line if that's not you but you saw in memes it works.
If it gets responses like 'hahaha oh wow' and then a drop of communication I can only imagine what was said

>>19762373
>>19762342
>>19762335

>>19762373
>Uh are you sure about that one lmao?
I qualified it by saying the pictures, do it. And writing this in your profile:

'Say you know it may be awkward posting those pictures but that you had to dedicate so much of your time to achieve your success you have never had time for dating,
And now the powers of your heart are so wanting a companion that you feel you must do whatever you can to show you are a worthy catch'

Im tellllllling you. Give it a try for a week. Or two weeks. And lower your standards a bit.

Are you just looking to get laid or have a long term gf/wife?

Put the pictures up I said seriously, with that blurb, for 2 weeks, then take it down
If it doesn't work.

Maybe mayyyyyybe posting the bank account balance is over the line, ... It shouldn't be, women don't like to admit they are directly looking for a hook with the juiciest worm, so it is considered a douchebag move ( even in yourmost sympathetic of positions) because you are skirting all the fairy fluff of courtship). You will probably get a lot of interest but they may expect you to take them to a nice dinner and pay.

At the very least post a pic of you in your car.

The other things what girls you hope to attract, with the recipe I provided and your location you might attract a lot of snooki's

>>19762373
>The last girl I went on a date with a couple years ago laughed at me when I told her I had never had a gf
You are scared it would be a red flag but you only tried it once a few years ago.

I suggested pairing it only with the qualifier of why, they blurb I wrote about not having time to date because focused on your success, and this way the truth will be out there you wouldn't have to spill it in the middle of the date but they all will know what they are getting into.

>>19762441
Yeah that's pretty fucking cringe, that reads like something a girl would say to put on my profile without realizing that would absolutely never work on another girl. I'm assuming you're a girl and I'm telling you that being a virgin is the least attractive thing I could be. I've watched the sexual tension drain out of a girl's eyes before as she realized there wasn't some super-experienced mystery man in front of her but just some awkward fuck with no clue how to please a woman or navigate a relationship. It's not something I need to see again.

>>19762420
Wayyy too quick for a drink man.

Maybe it would work on some girls.

You need to relax and breathe.

Maybe it works in memes when it is a 6'"4 model that can see their 8" dick in pants they say a funny pick up line, get a laugh , ask for date

That is not you, that is not what you are going for, you are a genuine human looking to relate, interact and bond with another genuine human.

That girl with the strong legs right there may have been your soulmate, and you never would know because you scared her away , because she thinks you are only a memr copying fuck wanter.

Get to know her much much more before asking on a date.
Ask her all about herself. Bulid up some relation, some comfort, some chemistry, remove the blocks of some complete strangerhood before asking for a date.
Be a legitimate human soul, not a desperate to fuck robot

>>19762500
I'm not a girl, I'm a soon to be 32 year old guy that has 0 dollars to their name, no car and live at home and I have had multiple girlfriends and sex many times with different women. You and I are both outliers I just feel compelled to restore some justice to the world due to my nobility

Why is he recording this?

>>19762268
Fuck off. We don’t need insincere converts who only go to church because they want to date women.

>>19762296
Join a Catholic or Orthodox parish just make sure to stay away from the liberal ones. With Orthodox your best bet is ROCOR, with Catholics your best bet is SSPX, FSSP, ICK, and others like that. That’s where you’ll find traditional women who want to be housewives. But don’t just go because you want to date women; that’s unseemly.

>>19762500
And yes, by seeing that you can actually get matches with girls you're into without the suggested photos tells you are messing up the Convo, getting to know them part, letting them get to know you.

How many matches do you get per week?

>>19762519
Literally me, except I have a car
>32 yo
>NEET, no money
>living with mom
>had multiple gfs and plenty casual flings
>never even used social media
Just be over 6 feet tall, vaguely artistic and arrogant and pussy will literally come to you.

>>19762500
Also bro, give me a literal respect for all the effort I'm putting in to help you ok, I genuinely want to help you and thought and wrote all that, there are a million of guys like that, I didn't have to try to help you but I felt compelled, take in some of the things I said and try them and they will work

>>19762503
This guy is an idiot. If that woman isn't on there to go on dates then why the fuck is she on there?
>inb4 she needs to get to know you first
Oh you mean like what you do on a date?

>>19762539
How do you approach a girl to date at a church? She's likely with her family? Or 20 something's go often alone?

"Hey girl, want to grab some coffee some time?"

>be me, 10 years old
>start reading Redwall
>my vocabulary in comparison to other 10 year olds at the time was strengthened by these books
>still continue to say wot wot autistically to myself

>>19762594
>This guy is an idiot. If that woman isn't on there to go on dates then why the fuck is she on there?
>>inb4 she needs to get to know you first
>Oh you mean like what you do on a date?
Are you the 25 year old virgin I was talking with and you just short circuited?

Holy autism:

THE APP SAYS ITS A DATING APP

THEREFORE EVERY GIRL MUST WANT TO INSTANTLY GO ON A DATE

THE ONLY WORTHY WAY OF GETTING TO KNOW SOMEONE IS ON A DATE

I REFUSE TO TALK TO A GIRL, BUILD CHEMISTRY, RELATIONS, COMFORTABILITY WITH A GIRL BEFORE A DATE

BECAUSE THIS IS A DATING APP

AND IT IS MEANT FOR DATES

AND I WILL ONLY SEEK DATES

THE PROBLEM IS ONLY WITH YOU AND THEN

I AM FOLLOWING THE RULES PERFECTLY AND DOING NOTHING WRONG

IT IS SIMPLY INFEASIBLE, INBAPROPRIATE, UNBECOMING, IRRATIONAL TO TAKE SOME TIME TO GET TO KNOW A GIRL BEFORE A DATE

ON A DATING APP

GET OFF THE DATING APP LADIES IF YOU DON'T ONLY WANT TO INSTANTLY GO ON A DATE WITH A STRANGER

>>19762519
>>19762563
Alright sorry but that just does not seem to be something that would ever work like, it just comes off to me as super cringe I guess? Like if it was some girl I knew maybe they would take pity on me if I told thme I was a virgin but why would some random girl on an app do that when they can pick from literally any other guy who isn't.

>>19762540
I get a couple matches per week on Hinge and maybe a bit more on Tinder, but Tinder seems to be way lower quality.

>>19762503
This >>19762594 isn't me. Everyone I have seen on reddit and 4chan has told me to be quick because if you talk to them too long they will just go on a date with one of the other 500 guys they have matched with. And I have had that happen desu, when I have tried to drag out conversations it honestly just feels like a really dry interview and they stop responding as I ask them questions.

>>19761695
For incels, don’t compare yourself to others. Just work on being a better person today than you were yesterday. When you are ripe for a girl you’ll get one

>>19762617
Parishioners often socialise with each other after mass just get to know some families there and if you ask a girl out get her father’s permission first. But don’t convert with this in mind…

>>19762539
>But don’t just go because you want to date women; that’s unseemly.
That's literally the only reason why I would go to a church I've never had any other interest in going to one

>>19762547
I'm 5'8. I don't think that's a huge deal though I have known guys who were my height or literally shorter and could get really hot girls

>>19762657
Ok you are approaching possible rightness, I suggested that when I didn't know you were really getting any matches, and since you are getting matches but no dates, we are left to conclude by reason that something is occuring in the Convo stage of the equation that is preventing a date to occur.

Match + Convo = date

You have match, you have no date, which means you must have no Convo.

Which leads me to conclude the affirmentioned>>19762503

Take a deep breath, don't get your cart ahead of your horse,
Get to know them, build up relation before asking for a date. Don't be in such a hurry to ask for a date.

Ever since I was young and first was on internet and possibility of talking to women... well the problem is finding a woman you could genuinely be interested in, by sharing their interests and stuff.

But I would talk to girls and genuinely want to get to know about them, favorite foods, favorite movies and tv, favorite music, interests, hobbies, build a rapport.

Do this in multiple convos, take a little bit of this grating effort, to better your chances by magnitudes for recieving your wanted reward.

And it will be good practice for actually having conversations later on

I can understand the awkwardness, and maybe texting is not as strong a suite as when you are on a date face to face and can really work your real time conversing magic and charm

But still, get to know these girls a bit more first, ask them what they enjoyed studying in school, ask them what work is like, ask them their dreams for the future

Then you can throw in, what would be a good first date for you?

But yes I can imagine it would be hard to feign interest in a boring dull girls hobbies.

I personally do not think I am anything other than an artist and could not imagine dating a girl who is not an artist, because there would be nothing to talk about, no connection, how could I possibly be interested in anything going on in her head

But disregard that last bit of me musing about my own problems

Then again I could imagine being with a cool mellow hippie hipster organic farmer girl that is into nature and being mellow

>>19762239
Start doing Meetups or if you drink go to bars to socialize. Plan to just make friends, eventually you’ll get a girlfriend.

It’s actually the most simple thing in the world, the issue is most people on this site don’t know how to socialize, or don’t want to improve their social skills.

>>19762709
How long of a convo do you go for before asking them out? I really am bad at texting, it always feels so dry. The few times I've been on actual dates in my life with girls I knew nothing about I had 0 problem having fun conversations irl but I just don't know how to translate that over to text messages. I guess I will start trying to ask more questions about them from now on though, but it's hard to do without feeling like I'm conducting a job interview or some shit.

>>19762711
I looked at that Meetup site a bit ago and honestly it was mostly just old people or weird new age crystal yoga meditation bullshit. Like there would be a hiking group but then you look at the group's pictures and it's a bunch of retired people, etc. I go out with my friends at least like once a week but like I said they're all guys and any girls their gfs seem to know are always taken.

>>19762667
Hm,

I don't know if you answered my question what your looking for: just to lose virginity , or long term gf?

This is a difficult situation trying to find the girl of your dreams

You may match with her tommorow, or in 10 or 50 weeks

If you keep doing what you're doing, or the same results may occur for 5 years and you may have to lower your standards a little.

Covid is not helping your ability to go out and about and possibly meet girls in the wild.

Do you know if that site called like 'meetups' there are a bunch of groups that gave different interests and activities? Check that out.

And maybe that strong leg girl was one that could have used a little talking to before asking for a date, you can't apply that one rule to all girls. Intuition says that she stopped talking to you after you asked for a date after 1 response to your pick up line suggests she is one who desired more interaction first.

I think it would be a rule for a few more lines of interaction, and also maybe a suaver more human way of asking like,

"Do you have any plans for this weekend"?

Then if the say no say

"What would be a good first date for you"
Or something like that

Also seriously if in a week or two with these suggested adjustments if you dont have some luck, seriously try my initial crazy suggestion of pics of you I a car and say maybe not virgin but just say

Just do all the cringy stuff I initially said just as an experiment.

Also you tried longer get to know you convos and they lost interest, which implies

Every girl has their goldylocks zone, try to ses it out, try to more suavely bring up the possibilty of a date, what are you doing this weekend, what's your favorite types of food or restaurant ,

>>19762420
>>19762667
Also reviewing the Convo you sent, maybe your we can agree to disagree threw her off:

Maybe that was a bit much.

She has nice legs, you perceptively noticed and complimented that, she appreciated that,

Maybe you shoudnt have kept in that topic, and furthermore, began your relationship with her by saying: we can agree to disagree lol

Maybe it makes you sound a bit patronizing

But again you have to be better at assessing what a girl appreciates,

You should have changed the topic likely.

Or say do you just go to the gym or play sports too?

Or no it was probably time to find something else to talk about as it reads

: I noticed you have nice legs

:Thanks for noticing it is my favorite thing to work out for me it's the best

: I disagree, want to go on a date?
:Working out my legs is the best (implying for her

You could have said what your fav is for you or change the topic likely, without the, as cute and harmful as it was, agree to disagree lol

>>19762657
>I get a couple matches per week on Hinge and maybe a bit more on Tinder, but

Post some more convos , we need to break them down and analize for you and us to learn

Post the ones if the girls you were most into, as I assume you did with leg girl

>>19762785
>>19762761
sorry, but what a bunch of useless drivel, you sound like someone who is obsessed with catching girls attention, and while failing at that spent ungodly ammounts of time thinking about shit that doesn't matter, this wall of text sounds like 15 yo me and my retarded friends talking about how to get girls. OPs game is fine, don't waste your time thinking about all of this, the best advice is hard to swallow but experience is key, swipe right on EVERYONE and try a bunch of shit and see what sticks, be ready to get rejected a lot, eventually by sheer statistics is impossible you wont find someone.

>>19762524
OK but that's the only reason churches are still relevant so it's not that bad advice

>>19762524
No anon, any reason for going to church is a good reason. What if he goes to church to find a wife and while at it he really does starts sincerely believing? Don't deny people the opportunity to change their hearts. God knows what he is doing

You motherfuckers are supposed to be people who appreciate the written word and shit. Instead of going 'hi, let's go out', develop that conversation out. If it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. But if she responds, just keep hammering out stories, jokes, witticisms, references, innuendos, word play, topic after topic, relentlessly. Even if it feels unnatural, keep at it. Even if you say something outlandish or downright embarrassing, just take it in stride and build on top of it. Start to enjoy it. Sooner or later, if you have made your interaction fun, you will find yourself chatting with someone late into the night and more than likely she'll be the one starting to drop hints about meeting up.

WHY
DO
YOU
NIGGERS
REDDIT
SPACE?

>>19762866
Do you think I should try longer conversations or keep doing what I'm doing? I've been using these apps on and off for a few years now and gotten nothing out of them, it's hard to keep trying and see what sticks when nothing seems to stick

>>19762785
>>19762830
I don't know man, like I said I've never had sex and obviously never had a gf, I'd like both eventually because I feel like I'm old enough where it's getting weird to not have those things or at least a history of them...

>>19762993
>don't know man, like I said I've never had sex and obviously never had a gf, I'd like both eventually because I feel like I'm old enough where it's getting weird to not have those things or at least a history of them...
If you just want to get laid a few times with a few different girls, lower your standards abit, start shipping more on girls that aren't your dream girl

You are in jv, triple a, win some games first in your league before stepping up to the big leagues.

That is not absolutely true though. That is just if you want some dates and sex. Lower your standards and show off the reasons youre a catch (my first extreme crazy suggestions)

I do think possibly it wasn't the length of that Convo with leg girl, but the agree to disagree ( and that it wasn't even a separate text from the asking for a date). Take a step back and analyze that Convo from her perspective,

Agree to disagree lol wanna go on a date

That she stopped talkinn after that obviously tells you something you wrote there disuaded her taste.

Send more screenshots of convos, seriously we will get to the bottom of this and you will become a more complete man

>>19762993
Reading that convo, first thing is that saying 'agree to disagree' immediately doesn't even make sense. You say that after some back and forth when each side doesn't want to budge. Immediately saying it after she said she likes leg days lacks natural flow and sounds weird. On top of that, you hit her with a waaay too premature invitation to a date.

You could have gone with:

My favorite is (say what you prefer) I like your legs, but leg days not so much.

>>19762993
: I noticed you have nice legs

:Thanks for noticing it is my favorite thing to work out for me it's the best

: I disagree, want to go on a date?

Women want you to be savvy and notice all sorts of little things and cater to them, they want someone who will always be there for them, and that you have a quick sharp constant analyzing mind (probably evolutionarily as these sorts of things, quick savvy mind caring and protecting a woman are advantageous)

So you opened up by disagreeing, not expanding any more on the topic, but just even the nuance to know a phrase like

Agree to disagree is kind of cliche and hackneyed and old fashion, to follow that old saying with a youthful Lol, and within that same text sentence ask for a date, probably was enough to judge that your mind was not suave enough to assess her character traits from her photos and information and determine she is the type of girl that would not appreciate the type of message you displayed.

Her Hahahaha is a bit of a sign she may have been able to be into you, she was flirty and cute,

How long ago was that message exchange?

>>19762696
>I've never had any interest in exploring the religion of my country, the largest religion in the world which has done more to shape world-history than anything else. I literally have no curiosity or historical intrigue I just want to consoom and coom.
Lol, are you some sort of /r9k/ tourist? Since when did we get such bugmen on lit?

>>19762944
Checked those dubs sir, for some good advice, lots of different good advice in the thread try it all

>>19763208
Your reason to go to church isn't any better than his. You're suggesting going to church to marvel at it like some historical museum?

>>19763208
I've never gone on /r9k/ and I've been coming here for years. The guy who coined the term "bugman" is himself not Christian. Don't project whatever sperg-tier shit you have living rent free in your mind onto me.

>>19763166
>>19763206
How long should I wait to ask them out? Everyone in the Tinder thread on /soc/ says to ask out ASAP because girls on these apps have hundreds of matches and if you sit around talking to her for too long she'll lose interest. Is that bad advice?

>>19762645
Youre autistic. He was sensible in saying you get to know someone via a date.
You realize its like an unspoken rule to get off the app asap and onto text/snap, and then figure out the logistics of hanging out right? Oh wait your lack of experience anything regarding a woman speaks to the utter retarded takes you provide here. Actually have experience in something before lending your advice.

>>19763266
Why tf are you talking about this on /lit/? Post what book you are reading ans your thoughts on it.

>>19763249
Why do you think everyone except protestants have churches filled to the brim with art? Why do you think the mass is filled with music? It's to draw the people in. There's nothing wrong with going to the mass to experience its aesthetic dimension

>>19763298
Thats no better than atheism

>>19763298
Protestantism is the religion of America though, not Catholicism...

>>19763266
To be paradoxical, stop listening to advice and start listening to your gut. Actually, you can listen to my advice. And my advice is if you manage to cook up a conversation where you are having fun amd she's responding immediately, as things are starting to wind down, you say:

I'm enjoying talking to you. I have to go now but we should definitely continue this some other time but not over the phone. I'd like it very much to meet you in person.

Then you can call back to something earlier in the conversation. If you talked about food, drinks, a particular bar, park, place, you can ask her if she would like to do that

>>19763249
No, I go to church because I am a Christian. But it is absurd to me that someone would live their entire lives and not even think about religion once to see what it is all about. How little curiosity do you have to have for that?

>>19761695

You will be alone forever

>>19763266
We have moved past the importance of the length of Convo to the SUBSTANCE of the Convo, read my posts analyzing your disagree lol comment >>19763206
About suaveness and savvyness and dexterity if mind to anaylse the girls charscter to not say thingd off putting

>>19762255

>>19763285
We are both then, agree to disagree?

While it is true you can get to know someone on a date, it is true you can get to know someone before the date and that doing so a little could increase chances of date.

Of course now i have concluded the main factor in the guys failure with leg girl was what he said and the way he said it

>>19763650
>Of course now i have concluded the main factor in the guys failure with leg girl was what he said and the way he said it
It was that she was only tentatively interested in him, not interested enough to tolerate ANYTHING less than a perfectly interesting-charming-funny, not-overly-serious-but-not-overly-cavalier followup message. This is the hell of dating apps: women are spoiled for choices so they are basically all in the mode of "Why should I 'settle' for a guy who ends less than a perfect message?" while scanning. And obviously what they consider a "perfect" message depends on their fluctuating mood, menstrual cycle, dumb "you go girl!" ideas they saw on social media, and more.

It is sort of true to say that he fucked up by asking too quickly, but that's only a partial truth, and it's highly misleading to assume this can be generalized into a rule, like "don't be too aggressive." This isn't true, because the next girl he talks to, he'll try to wait longer and get to know her, send more personalized messages, etc., and then THAT will become what he fucked up, and a bunch of know-it-alls on the internet will tell him that he dicked around and wasn't decisive and aggressive enough.

This is the key to understanding dating apps and women in general, and keeping your sanity. It is simultaneously true that you fucked up by not doing x enough, and that next time you will have fucked up by doing too much of x. They are both true and not true for different women, and even the same women at different times or in different moods.

If you try to go down this unsolvable maze of trying to find the "sweet spot" of a hundred different x-variables, like decisive but not too decisive, funny but not corny, complimentary but not beta, alpha but not a douche, you will quickly go insane because there is no single roadmap to success. All you can do is integrate VERY GENERAL rules like "be complimentary but not beta bro" to the best of your ability and then try to gain experience and instinct. Don't overthink. Don't assume any one failure means anything. You can only derive information on women's preferences and dating strategy from STATISTICAL analysis, over a longish period of time.

The problems with that are (A): men get so few matches that building up enough useful data is hard, (B): for the same reason, trying out new strategies in the field is hard since you have to wait for good matches and a lot of matches will ghost you no matter what you do, and (C): for most men, matches are so rare that they choke and can't stay focused.

>>19763798
If you want to use dating apps you need to maximize your matches as best you can, but accept that if you're an average looking normal guy they are going to be mostly shitty and relatively rare, and then above all, you need to maintain an iron will and not choke. You need to internalize that you don't owe these women anything, failure isn't shameful, but you are also going to fail a lot, so get used to it, and don't expect anything from any girl you match with.

It's like throwing a 20-sided die again and again and again until you get two 20s in a row. You will eventually get two 20s, it's just not going to happen for a while, and the CRUCIAL THING is that you should not get all excited and nervous and start hyperventilating any time you DO roll one 20, and then get devastated when the next roll isn't another 20. You should automate the process and have a painless, reliable method you repeat in a way that doesn't leave you feeling miserable every time.

If you incorporate the idea that you are gaining statistical knowledge and improving your instincts, too, then it's a little more like you can reduce the number of sides the dice have over time. So you start with a 50-sided die, and have to get two 50s in a row. But by learning and practice, you can get to being a 20-sided die. You will never be Chad, who was born with a mathematically impossible three-sided die, but 1/20x1/20 is a hell of a lot better than 1/50x1/50 or 1/100x1/100.

Again, a girl replying "lmao!! ya i love leg day!!!!" is no guarantee of anything, it just means she's willing to let you take the second shot. You could do everything right and still "fail," you could fuck up but she doesn't notice or care, or she could like something about you enough (or be in the right mood to like it at that split second) that she gives you a pass and gives you a second or third shot to be less awkward. All you can do is decide what "persona" you want to be in your average approach, do you want to be pickup line + immediately ask her out guy, or do you want to be try to spark genuine conversation with a quirky girl guy, that will depend on your own observations and instincts. But ultimately you need to implement that persona authentically in a way that doesn't make you want to kill yourself, and be aware that it will need further refinement over time, and that it's going to take time to roll your two 20s or two 30s.

If you internalize this you will be more natural, more dignified, less nervous, and you will avoid a lot of disrespect from thots, because you will not be constantly weighing the pros and cons of tolerating bullshit because you don't want to "lose" a specific match as it's going south.

>>19763798
Damn those munchies really got to them

>>19761794
of course he isn't

>>19763798
>>19763807
I appreciate this advice and you're right, I guess I just wish there was an better way that would lead to some kind of forward movement now rather than just keep rolling the dice and hope I'm not doomed to have bad luck my entire life...

>>19764173
Better way would be not to conceptualize your romantic life as some DnD dice-rolling shit, don't worry about putting on a persona, find humor in what you see as your failures in this area so far and make your own enjoyment and genuine interest in others the main objectives when dealing with other people, be it male or female. The despair has a smell, you wash it off with humor and acceptance

>>19761784
patrician

>>19764195
"be yourself" platitudes have a place but that place shouldn't be obscuring reality

>>19761720
You will never be a woman

>>19764342
You dumb fuck, what are you suggesting? That he becomes more jaded and neurotic about it? Where am I saying he should be himself

>>19764373
calm down ESL, read before reply

>>19764394
Suck a dick cunt

>>19763266
Take all the advice in, swipe more in girls you normally wouldnt, and post in a 'write whats on your mind thread' giving us an update in 2 or 3 weeks, godspeed brother

>>19763798
Women are too nonsensical. Like in the end, what you're saying is either you have some magical completely unidentifiable nebulous force that makes things work out, or you don't. There's no rhyme or reason to it. There are no mistakes to learn from. There's virtually no way to do it properly because everything you do can either be right or wrong at any given instance. Which I didn't need you to tell me all this, but thanks for saying it first.
Even so in the end, regardless of the reason, a failure is still a failure though.

>>19765098
>a failure is still a failure though.
No one cares how many shots
Mike Jordan and Wayne Gretzky missed
Or as I think the latter said: you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
It's a numbers game baby. Step it up baby, get wild get psyched

>>19761695
Why do people do this with their threads? Why do they WANT their threads to be derailed?

>>19762239
Go outside. See a pretty girl - say hi. Ask her out. Really, it's that simple.

God forbid you be courageous like a real man. Delete the faggot apps - they do not serve you, and they never will. If you're bold enough to talk to a girl in public you will have done most of the work necessary.

>>19766594
Could have just let this thread die, faggot.

>>19762255
>how to get taken advantage of and/more relentlessly mocked 101. If you make it clear from the beginning that you're going to be buying her affection then you're bound to fail.

>>19762151
Kek literally just ask out women and unless you're a genuine 1/10 you will have sex.
Incels do not even try. Imagine holding women up on such a platform as to think fucking them is some inconceivable task

>>19766866
Stop giving people false expectations. You think this is funny, but you are mentally and sometimes physically harming people that don't know any better.

>>19761701
This is pure evil, why would you post such a thing

>>19767137
You can. Never stop improooooving and learning to love yourself. Lift, read, purge toxins, pray(?). WAAGMI <3

>>19762420
That's a man.