/lit/ - Literature

>>19837972
>It violates the Amazon self-publishing guidelines
Tell me anon, are the melanated people in your pic in any way related to this problem?

>>19837972
“The Tale of Scrotie McBuggerballs”

>>19837977
The climax of the book includes some two dozen racial epithets and slurs.

>>19837972
If your book is not compatible with the political correctness of our contemporary society you cannot make money with it, it's that simple.
You can publish it and have a readership, but can't hope having any kind of decent income with it.

>>19837994
Just replace the words with some clever substitute and you're done. This is just a recebait thread, isn't it?

>>19838080
The character also rapes a ten year old girl.

>>19837994
>>19838197
What guidlines do these breach?

>>19838197
Anon, being edgy won't make your work the book of the decade, I hope you know it.
That said, the suggestion is the same, word it in a way that leaves unclear exactly what happens and how, but make sure anyone with an IQ of 100 or more understands a rape took place.

This thread is a poor imitation of the anon writing a book that is 10% the word "Nigger".

>>19837972
The big publishers have no concern about slurs as long as they are used in context. If it reads like a thinly veiled rant than they will send you on your way, but if your book is actually anywhere near book of the decade quality the slurs would be in context. I somewhat suspect it reads like a thinly veiled rant.

>>19838225
>>19839148

Thanks anons, you have made me reconsider throwing this thing out there for free. It isn't a veiled rant, the narration is highly detached from the character, but it does go far beyond what has been done in any recent fiction as far as I've read. It is a satire in the tradition of Céline, with the form of a 19th century 'realist' novel. As far as it being the novel of the decade ... I promise I'm not pulling any legs ... I will let /lit have first dibs ...

>>19837972
>>19840165
>>19837994
post an excerpt of what you consider to be the most well written part. bonus points if it is also an edgy section.

if you don't this is basically a shitty bait thread

>>19837972
>he spent 4 years on a book
>and he thinks he can make money on it

Ohnonononononono

>>19840165
>It is a satire in the tradition of Céline, with the form of a 19th century 'realist' novel
Almost zero chance of that being novel of the decade

>>19840183

1/2

a long while the doctor, a small man, opened the door gingerly. He came in and shook Max's hand. His hand was small, warm and gentle. He sat himself slowly on a stool and shuffled through Max's chart in silence, in deep concentration, absorbing everything. He was a bald little man with just a few hairs left on his handsome head, clean shaven with carefuly shaped features, and every movement he made since the minute he made his entrance through the door, had left a deep impression on Max. Every movement he made was with great care and deliberation. Those soft, kind eyes, so alert and attentive! Receptive! Now THIS was a doctor who understands man, thought Max. Now here was a real student of humanity, a real psychologist! Not a social-climber but a real, caring doctor, concerned -- genuinely concerned! -- for the wellbeing of his patients … and his patients as people, not as a diagnoses or a billing code, but as people alive in the world ...
The doctor looked up from the chart at Max, and Max decided all at once that this man (who bore no small resemblance to Viktor Frankl) was his ideal confessor, that Max would, with this man, for the first time in months, drop all pretense, abandon deceit, and tell the truth ... -- the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
'So tell me, Max' said the doctor in a very gentle soft voice, the faintest trace of an accent. 'Tell me what has been going on lately.' And with those words Max found the license to once and for all the tell the whole story.
And so Max told him everything, from the first soft squishy bump on the side of his neck, to the hard shotty bump behind his ear, to the little jellybean bumps that lined his lawline, to the lima bean bump in his groin, the little pebble sized bump he found attached to his right nut, the newest biggest fleshiest bump just inside his collar bone ... all the strange detachd things floating around in his nutsack! Max told him everything! Chronologies, timelines, dates, changes in consistency, changes in size!
Max paused. The doctor was sitting across from him listening patiently. He didn't say a word.
So Max went on! He didn't stop there, he went on! Suddenly speaking with a suprising rapidity and liveliness, growing more and more animated about this and that and eventually everything -- I MEAN EVERYTHING. Max ripped the lid off the whole thing, the denial of death, the whole bit about diagnoses codes, prescription pills, the modern world, as if it was happening all over again, before his very eyes!
'That's the big cover up! That's the OUTRIGHT LIE! Max says to the specialist, crying out loud!!' The echoes of Max's voice resounded in the small room for a minute, then subsided. It was quiet again. Max was back in the room with the doctor and the medical supplies on the counter and the tile floor and the cabinets.

>>19837972
>I have been working for four years, written quite literally millions of words
>It is a small, 30K word novel in three parts
???

>>19840369

2/2

The whole while the doctor's expression hardly changed. He had nodded intently throughout, once in a while laughing in tandem with Max (as he realized the absurdity of what he himself was saying), but listening all the while with his eyes alert and fixed on Max, seeming to follow Max through it all, taking it all it equanimously. Naturally, the doctor was not suprised by anything.
'Yeah. So' said Max wrapping things up, shifting in his seat and collecting himself, waiting for the doctor's response. Slowly a smile spread across the doctor's face. He said nothing for a while, simply smiled. Then slowly he raised his palms in the air. He clapped his ahnds together.
'Bravo, Max. Bravo!' said the doctor clapping.
Max smiled strangely but felt this was not good.
'What a story, Max!' the doctor went on. 'Super detail! As if I were actually there! You know something Max?'
'Haha. What?'
'You have a future! You're a real historian! A real HERODOTUS Max!'
'Who?'
'Now tell me something now, Max' said the doctor, quieting down now. 'Do you smoke?'
'I - uh - n-no never.'
The doctor raised his eyebrows mischeviously and wrinkled his nose, pretending to smell something unpleasant.
'Yes, not currently, or never?'
'Never!' reaffirmed Max. 'No! I hate the smell! Always have ...'
'Coffee drinker?'
'N-well, yes. I have a cup in the morning.'
'Everyday?'
'Yeah' Max nodded.
The doctor leaned in confidentially, cocked an eyebrow and dropped his voice to a half-whisper.
'Is it a big cup Max?'
'Well ... no. A normal sized cup I think ...'
The doctor didn't wait for the explanation. He began scribbling on a pad. 'Here's what I'm going to do for you, Max. I'm going to write you a prescription. Take one pill every day for two weeks and cut the coffee to once a day. Don't go around looking for any more 'bumps' -- and come back in one month.'
The doctor ripped the page off and handed it to Max. 'Let's just keep this one on the 'wait and watch'. Sometimes,' said the doctor tapping his forehead with a finger, 'We can make a mountain out of a molehill.' And he went out, laughing and closing the door behind him.
In utter dejection and confusion Max looked at the scribbled note on the prescription pad. He squinted, turned the paper one way and the other -- but the writing was absolutely illegible. Then Max heard the doctor again through the door. There was a spanking sound, the sound of a bra snapping, and a flirtatious giggle! It was the raven-haired nurse!
'Why, doctor!' cried the nurse.

>>19840369
>>19840373
damn...

>>19840369
Poor sentence structure, often redundant and ambiguous. Lots of unneeded pronouns which give a stuttering flow, he him he himself him he he him. The doctor was small, his hand was small, then he was little. Why does he have few hairs but is also clean shaven? You seem to endlessly be elaborating on "gingerly," everything about him is small and dainty, we get that. Half suspect this is a Gardner extract, probably a troll either way.
>The doctor's small frame came through the door as gingerly as he opened it, seemingly more interested in Max's chart than in Max, but not dismissive or neglectful. Every movement and every feature of the doctor displayed the same care with which he entered the room, the grace of countless repetitions, thousands of patients, death sentences and cures, reassuring handshakes and empathetic gazes, revealing an understanding of humanity beyond the mechanical.

>>19840369
I don’t know if it’s the book of the century, but this pretty good anon.

>>19840369
>>19840532
I liked the original more than that other anon’s re-write.

>>19840728
I was mainly demonstrating how tweaking sentence structure could alleviate the redundancy/ambiguity, not really trying to improve on it. The modernist style would probably not work well with it overall and require a complete rewrite instead of a some revision and editing.

>>19840373

3/3

The old horny bastard! cried Max stomping across the parking lot, flapping his arms furiously. Nothing but a quack! A phoney! These people don't give a damn for medicine, for healing, for people! The only thing they care about is a diagnosis code -- plug it in, bill insurance, print the cash, and their in their expensive cars shooting off to here and there, Vermont and Idaho -- like a rocket! -- to their second, third, fourth homes! Have to get there for cocktail hour!
What a ridiculous idea I ever had to see a doctor in the first place, thought Max. What a fool I've been! How naive! I should have never told him that stuff! I saw what he was scribbling ... probably going to file it right away in 'my chart' -- my 'permanent record'!
At home Max pushed past his poor imploring mother -- 'How did it go Max?' -- and rushed upstairs to hole himself up in his top-secret hideout -- HIS ROOM.
Max swallowed half a cup of old coffee slammed down the mug and booted up his computer. The logo appear and the theme dawned.
He went straight online to Cancer-Forums.org and steered right to the lymphoma boards.
'NEVER let a 'medical provider' BULLY you into not getting treatment. They will call it 'the wait and watch' -- in reality it is nothing but medical malpractice! I myself had to see THREE 'specialists' before I found one would go forward with a biopsy. I had stage IV non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. ALWAYS trust your gut and don't wait until it is TOO LATE! You know your own body!'
Max scrolled through the comments. There were a half dozen posters agreeing with the woman. One of them was a young man, Max's age, an athlete who ran five miles a day and swam laps on his off-days. Two months after his specialist put him on the 'wait and watch' he was crippled -- bound to a wheel-chair. Someone had to empty his piss-tray.
Another poster with symptoms almost identical to Max's had to have his left nut removed after six months of being bounced around from referral to referral.
God! These people had been through it all!
Max made a thread himself and posted his entire story -- ten thousand words in a single block. A wall of text! Max let it rip! He told the world the whole story from beginning to end, the same as he told the specialist -- but even more detail! Super detail! Cineascope detail! Colors brighter than actuality! He wrote about the doctors, the nurses, the whole fraudulent scheme, the denial of death ... referral after referral!
Max hit 'submit'.
Comments rolled in one after the other, encouraging Max to seek vindication and validation and reminding him not to give up hope.
Max lit a roach lying on his desk, took a deep lungful of dope smoke, and was suddenly seized with a mortal terror.
‘I need a second opinion!’ croaked Max through the smoke.

>>19840369
This is very good anon. I'll be stealing it and publishing before you, though. Nothing personel.

>Call the bluff and post 1500 word excerpt from best book of decade
>You can hear a pin drop

>>19841228
My book is coming out soon and it's slightly better, but this is awesome. Publish it NOW.
Before le epic chan trolls get ahead of you- GO!

>>19840369
>>19840373
>>19840879

>>19837972
that's a novella, chud,

>>19837972
Is it as good as The Tumult of Niggers though?

>>19839086
It was something like 25% and it was glorious

>>19840373
Do American doctors actually do this? This actually felt incredibly unrealistic. A doctor here would feel the areas of interest and then at least write you a receipt for an ultrasound.