/lit/ - Literature

>>19951652
I remember in a philosophy undergrad essay I used exclamation marks ironically. I cringe into my anus every time I think about the poor professor having to read my aborted fetus.

>>19951652
I only ever received As on my papers.

Never written a paper in my life

>>19951673
based

>Read Lolita
>be in African American Studies class
>Write paper in the voice of Humbert Humbert
>At one point go off on a series of digressions about random details
>Get a B+, professor comments 'I don't understand why you wrote this way.'
>End with a B+ in the class

>Read Beyond Good and Evil
>Philosophy is stupid let me write like Nietzsche
>Writes random nonsense on the paper for 5 pages, has no thesis, calls Kant stupid and frivolous, calls Aristotle boring
>Professor gives me a C, then says if I re-write it normally she'll give me an A
>End with an A in the class.

>Theology class
>Write paper on Ezekiel
>Prompt makes zero sense
>Just give a general analysis of Ezekiel, faith and what it means to me
>Am proud of essay
>Show paper to my retard friend. 'hurr durr first sentence seems awkward.' 'Yeah probably because you're too stupid faggot'
>Get a F
>Go to office hours. Professor basically yells at me and accuses me of not paying attention.
>Start talking about how I read Ezekiel and Jeremiah all week to compare the two and write the paper
>Completely ignores me and he says I think I'm above the class. Says I'll be lucky to pass the class now
>End up getting a D

The first 2 were undergrad pretentious retardation, the third was just a really boring essay from a useless prompt and a piece of shit professor.

My favorite part of English was taking a big steaming dump on the teacher's favorite books.

>>19951689
you sound like a so y

>>19951692
The teacher was a simpering woman, so certain tactics had to be adopted for maximum effect.

>>19951652
>wrote an essay about a video game in middle school.

I never had to write a paper like this for school. Its kind of crazy. Also never had to take Calculus. Yet I didn't get a worthless degree.

>>19951706
We were all kids once Anon

>>19951652
>nooo you can't just say perchance

Your papers all sound terrible. I’d be ashamed if I were you.

>>19951771
Post one of yours, professor

>>19951652
This is from my junior year of high school, I was a non ironic commie and incredibly bitter, pretty much all of my papers were me ranting about an unrelated topic for at least 50%+. The prompt was "how would you write a movie for the great gatsby if it were to place in a high school?" or "compare great gatsby to a high school."
For the record, I did not read the great gatsby, nor did i actually pay attention to what it was about. I skimmed through the sparknotes and watched the movie (our teacher showed it in class) and slept through half of that anyways.
Reading this back makes me want to throw myself into a woodchipper, I did not proofread at all.

>>19951774
And reveal who I am on a forum full of idiots who can neither read nor write? Fat chance.

>>19951656
>>19951686
>>19951689
>>19951698
>>19951706
>>19951776
Unironically consider suicide.

>>19951784
You sound like a delightful individual

>>19951779
I see you are contributing to the dreadful state of illiteracy on this board

>>19951784
I am actually planning to tonight. I've bought an expensive bottle of wine and my girlfriend is away with her family for the weekend. I have a bathtub and a sharp razor.

>>19951797
The only guys I have respect for here is the Oxbridge PhD Anon and maybe that upcoming author who got shafted for being an alcoholic. Everyone else is dead weight.

>>19951798
>I have a bathtub and a sharp razor.
Ouch, don't go out like that Anon.
For the record, you probably won't succeed anyways, it has a like a 6% mortality rate.

>>19951794
just ignore him he is a chud from /pol/

>>19951794
Thank you
>>19951798
Faggot

>>19951798
Unironically seek help

I wrote this shitty essay in my ancient history class about how Noah's Ark was fake. My proof was the 'fossil record' and 'carbon dating', and I also explained that Christianity was a lie because the Bible 'took expeditiously' from other texts. I got one point above an F and my teacher, who was my favorite, railed at me while classes were changing. A bunch of bewildered freshman were sitting watching me get called an arrogant prick by their study hall teacher.

>>19951829
yikes. how do you feel about it now?

>>19951829
Unfathomably based

Wrote this when I was bored as fuck in PHIL 100. Tell me what you guys think
(1/4)

>>19951852
(2/4)

>>19951858
(3/4)

I hate that I have such a juvenile sense of humour that the OP made me laugh
Goddamn it, I'm 26

>>19951859
(4/4)

Not me but a classic

>>19951798
Seek help please. There is always a way, anon.

>>19951852
I only critiqued page one, but I'm not very impressed by what I'm seeing.

Good essays lay out clear plans of intended attack and signpost what they're doing and why - your essay feels meandering and riddled with phrasing and grammar issues which ruin the impact you could have with your writing. Crucial elements like topic sentences or a thesis statement are completely absent.

More informally, I have no clue, by the end of page one,
>What it is you're arguing,
>How you intend to prove the points you're arguing, and
>What examples you'd like to use to make that case and why you think they're worth bringing up
And this is a massive and unrecoverable structural flaw in your writing style - it's like a house without a foundation.

>>19951652
I wrote an English essay in which I didn't have the required amount of sources, fucked up MLA format, and the teacher's comments amounted to "I've read better essays from you." The grade I got was a B+.
I wrote another essay for a film class in which I used MLA style instead of the required Chicago style, and got a C on the paper, the lowest grade for any of my college essays. I have no idea if anything else was wrong with the paper because film professors, or at least the teaching assistants, never actually provide feedback the way English teachers did, you just get to see your grade without commentary.

>>19951652
My SAT essay if that counts. I got the lowest possible score (the essay portion made up 1/3rd of the entire test grade), 200/800 (same score you get writing only your own name). I still did better than all my friends, got like a 1720 somehow. Thank god for mathematics, something no one can argue with

>>19951811
>>19951827
>>19951895
Stop giving him attention you clucking hens.

>>19951689
Holy shit this is unironically terrible. Please tell me you wrote this in middle school or that this is bait; otherwise, you a retard that should never pick up a pen again.

>>19951860
Same and I'm gonna be 26 in a couple months

>>19951939
I liked it for what is was. A project to pass on the time.
Maybe you can elaborate on why you’ve found it to be terrible? (I’m not the author)

>had hippie philosophy professor
>the kind that was a "Western Buddhist" and sat Indian-style on his desk
>had to write a paper on Buddhism
>didn't give a shit
>literally made stuff up for 5 pages
>at one point went full "bros, what if all of us were, like, gods and stuff in our own way?"
>get a 99/100
>TA claimed I misused a semicolon
>go to the professor and explain that I used the semicolon properly
>get 100/100
GE classes were stupid. I just wanted my engineering degree.

>>19951807
who is oxbridge phd anon

>>19951939
Relax genius, it was grade 11 English. Also, there is literally no greater tell that you're an idiot than simply stating "this bad" without giving any reason whatsoever.

>>19952080
>Relax genius, it was grade 11 English.
If you wrote like that by then, there is no hope for you. It was expected of schoolboys to be reading Greek before they wore trousers.

>>19951652
We were supposed to make a narrative esaay about our day. I wrote about how I longed to see my mother's breasts under her oversized shirt, and that I yelled at her to hurry and cook eggs for breakfast and that I'd make a show of looking at the wall clock and scoff as she cooked the eggs. I got a good grade and a note to see the professor after class, but I left instead.

>>19952087
>Given a second chance to elaborate
>Repeats "this bad"
At your earliest convenience terminate your life with unrestrained diligence.

>>19952010
It continues a little more

>>19952087
>It was expected of schoolboys to be reading Greek before they wore trousers.
Ah you're from the retard generation, I see. Back when education actually meant something babies were expected to reproduce Descartes doubt experiment to prove their own existence as their first words.

>>19952087
>It was expected of schoolboys to be reading Greek before they wore trousers.

Sounds like a pretty gay school. A buncha trouserless boys runnin around. Ponce.

>>19951652
>college essay
>typed in sans font
the fuck?

In my first year of film school I hastily penned an analysis of Tarkovsky's Stalker (1979) the night before our deadline and scored 81/100 on it, the best in the year. That's when I realised I had attended a course for retards and I was well suited to be there.

>>19951652
>stomp a turty

>>19951689
I'm not the other Anon, but I agree this isn't that good.
It's mostly the way you write rather than any grammatical errors, ironically your essay is also awkwardly written; it just feels clumsy with the words you chose and how you strung them together. If you can't see it, it's hard to describe, just a general sense of lackluster writing.
It was for school though so who cares.

>>19952010
This response was meant for.
>>19951915
And the supposed structural issue that is a fundamental flaw.

>>19951776
I couldn't finish it, anon...

>>19951784
Anyone who doesn't consider suicide on a regular basis is a sub-human. It is a thinking man's trait.

>>19951852
>>19951858
>>19951859
>>19951865
>Noooo you can't just take away my benzos aaahhhh!

>>19951652
>get a 95% on a paper
>feel good
>check average score
>91%
enough with the participation trophies

>>19952119
Great final sentence.

>>19952119
I read 150 pages of a book and then wrote a 6 page paper in around 6 hours for a history class I was taking
I got a 98%, highest in the class. This was an upper div course at UC Berkeley and the professor was pretty well known in the subject
This shot my ego up like crazy and did something similar for another class and got a C-

>>19952303
>get a 95%
>feel good
>check score
>highest is 100%

>>19951776
>While the Great Gatsby is a... book which one may admittedly call find rather boring it has its place --

were you also unironically a faggot?
I liked it, you had your heart in the right place, at least in your arguments, despite the bitterness.

went through a commie phase

>>19952364
Terribly written word salad and also peddling simplistic cliches, but you're not wrong

>>19952377
You don't know the meaning of word salad.

>>19952377
agreed
>>19952393
not me

>>19951852
Im gonna steal some of the ideas here.

>>19951706
Could be worse. I wrote my bachelor thesis on super mario maker...

>>19952377
You’re describing every German philosopher anon

>>19951652
genuinely hilarious

>>19951652
When I was in high school me and a friend had something of a contest to slip the most ridiculous bullshit past our pretentious AP English teacher. This culminated in me writing an essay about how a poem written several decades before the holocaust (which I acknowledged as such) was about the holocaust, which the teacher complimented and gave me a very good grade on.

>>19952659
invoking the lolocoaster is cheating

In high school we got a retarded boring prompt to write summaries of 5 opinion pieces, so I made the first letter of every sentence spell out [name of teacher] SUCKS COCKS, got a B

>>19952364
So you didn't need citations of any kind for specific information you had no way of knowing except from readings (or otherwise just saying shit)... Because you considered it communal intellectual property?

>>19951652
I wrote an 2-page essay about how there's no such thing as morality for my philosophy class in high school.
It kind of makes me cringe thinking about it. There was no grade, because it was no homework. I just fucking wrote it and gave it to the teacher.
She was kindly enough to only write some remarks, and go through what I wrote with me at the end of the class.

>>19951829
Have you considered killing yourself?

>>19951652
Nothing stands out as cringeworthy. I usually just suck up to what I know the teacher will like to hear and get an A. I do remember a philosophy paper where I argued about obtaining knowledge rationally from a starting place of Cartesian skepticism. It was disorganized and I would probably be embarrassed to read it now, but I got a 100% so who cares.

>>19952708
>I made the first letter of every sentence spell out [name of teacher] SUCKS COCKS
Unfathomably based

Learn to forgive yourself
We're learning

>>19951829
The issue was not what you think it was, you would have also gotten an F if you wrote it about how Santa is fake.

>>19951879
everytime

>>19951713
Did you get a JD?

I wrote an essay about how the US Army should use anti-insurgency tactics to deal with a particular group of urban Americans.

>>19953513
No you didn't.

>>19952773
Yes

>>19953755
based

Every English paper I wrote for college was Grade A bullshit. Although, I did use the term "commie pinko fag" once.

Argie anon here. Our educative system is terrible, i only wrote one paper for college and i got a 10/10.

I dropped out more than a year ago btw

>>19952080
>>19952010
Okay, if it was grade 11 I’ll judge it less harshly, but some of my gripes would be starting with the first person, for example. Even if this is allowed in a paper, this is a terrible hook that makes me not want to read it. You use the word “awkward” like 4 times in 2 sentences when you could have said “clunky” or “unwieldy,” and you didn’t explain why the quote you chose was awkward. Also, having an exemplary quote for your thesis makes no sense in an introductory paragraph. And, maybe just a personal issue with the paper, but your “critiques” are weak and surface level at best. Using “I didn’t like the meaning” is such a cop out it hurts. But, it has been a while since I’ve been in secondary school so this was probably fine for the assignment.

>>19951652
>turn up to uni for an exam I never knew I had to take until that morning
>read the question
>something something hierarchy and anarchism
>ramble for 2500 words about pirates, the hierarchy on a ship and the pirate's code
>i know nothing about pirates
>somehow get a first

Best and worst thing I've ever written.

>>19952080
>Also, there is literally no greater tell that you're an idiot than simply stating "this bad" without giving any reason whatsoever.
Wasn't that the topic of your paper? You never explained why anything was "awkward". You just said it was.

>>19952030
they were just happy to read an essay by someone with a writing level higher than the average middle schooler.

>>19952249
>>19952010
>Maybe you can elaborate on the supposed structural issue that is a fundamental flaw.
You mean the ones that I immediately called out with several examples?

>Good essays lay out clear plans of intended attack and signpost what they're doing and why
>[Your essay is missing] crucial elements like topic sentences or a thesis statement
>I have no clue, by the end of page one,
>>What it is you're arguing,
>>How you intend to prove the points you're arguing, and
>>What examples you'd like to use to make that case and why you think they're worth bringing up
An essay that fails at the above has failed. You get one page to hook the reader, and good essays don't waste time meandering or being unclear. If that page can't deliver some notion of what their argument is, define their key terms, and set up clear expectations of how the argument will continue, readers in the know take this as a serious red flag and fuck off.

All this weakness comes before we even consider red-lined grammar and phrasing fuckups - the paper comes off as sloppy and amateurish, even as a pastime, because there's a clear lack of familiarity with the craft of writing on display.

The writer would benefit from seeking out other essayists and learning from their work, because it seems clear to me he hasn't read many essays and doesn't have a clear idea what they're meant to look or sound like.

NOOOO YOU CAN'T JUST SAY PERCHANCE ON IT'S OWN!!!!

>wrote a half assed thing in college about social anxiety i had in elementary school when my family moved to a new city
>professor raved about it and told me I should submit it to the school's literary magazine
>figure sure why not since I wanted to submit a few other things anyway
>only the cringe paper gets accepted
>it gets published and i get invited to a reception event to give a live reading
>cousin gets a copy of the magazine and rest of my family finds out about it
>all my aunts and uncles treat me like a pitiable fragile nonfunctioning autist for the rest of my life

>>19951652
It's a difficult choice, but I think this one embodies everything I hate about me from 4 years ago. 12th grade ATM. Read at your own risk. The theme was "Nature has brought us into the world free and independent: we close ourselves in one circle or another". Writing is a bit unusual at times, since I used Google to translate. It sounds okay in my native language.

>>19953960
is this a nod to moby dick

>>19954256
english teachers, especially english (((professors))), are histrionic schoolmarms who need to tear shit down arbitrarily to justify their jobs. if you're doing bad in a course like that, it mostly comes down to how the insecure gay/trans/PoC person grading your paper thinks about life and what neat idpol box you happen to fall into. if you want to graduate with honors in a literature/sociology course, don't be a white male as much as possible

>>19951652
Peak /lit/ pseud degeneracy. Perchance

I wrote a draft that was just one multi page sentence. I fixed it for the final paper but it was pretty funny when my teacher read it

>>19954554
You need to stomp some turts

>>19951652
>you can't just say "perchance"

>had to write an essay about a character and a philosopher we learned about in some shitty undergrad lit class interacting
>choose Tiresias and Kant
>don't care at all about essay, write it in a night
>essay is centered around Kant arguing that had Tiresias and Oedipus followed the categorical imperative, his fate could have been avoided, and Tiresias arguing fate cannot be avoided because its determined by the gods
>totally vulgar and sophomoric interpretation of the categorical imperative but i couldnt be bothered to try and make sense of that nonsense in the context of the paper
>make Kant an overly-smug cunt, repeatedly mention his short stature and "bulbous head"
>have Tiresias constantly walk into things and stare at walls as if they're windows cause he's blind
>at the end Kant gets the last word in, self-satisfied he takes his leave
>opens the door to Tiresias' house
>steps outside
>immediately struck by lightning and dies
>Kant refuted
I got an A

>>19951652
>What is the worst paper you have ever written?
In my freshman writing class, Why children should be legally required to get vaccines.

>>19952303
>get 86%
>check average score
>49%

>>19954698
>have Tiresias constantly walk into things and stare at walls as if they're windows cause he's blind

>>19954744
>write essay morning before it's due
>get B
>almost everyone else in the class got Ds or Fs, professor spends half a class period ranting about how terrible we did

In middleschool we had to write a paper (less than a page) about what we got for christmas. I wrote about getting a mario game but I was embarrassed because I was "too old" to be playing mario so I just called dit "the video game" for the whole thing

>sophomore year of college, CS major
>In some special class people in the honors program need to take
>have to write a research paper about a topic in your major citing only academic journals
>had no idea what to do because only had the two intro programming courses at that point so the literature was just unreadable (the class was catered towards the 90% of the honors students were in the social sciences where journals articles are written at a middleschool level)
>just cobble together a bunch of bullshit based on the abstracts of the articles, make up descriptions of what algorithms do and how they work based on the name
>prof gave it an A because he was a tech illiterate boomer and just assumed I knew what I was talking about
Felt pretty good. Unfortunately I had to leave the honors program later so it was all for nothing

>>19952097
>what the deuce
i hope you used these critical mistakes to improve your writing.

>>19951879
>lost more points for the thesis statement being bad then for missing an entire page
why do english teachers jerk off over the thesis statement so hard?

>>19951734
Speak for yourself

>>19951652
I can't remember high school, and since starting college I've only written A papers.

>>19951652
Perchance

unrelated but this double spaced shit is pissing me off. Obviously I've wrote double spaced essays before but now I see how reading them is hell. You have to move your eyes way too much just to see a few words. It must decrease my reading speed by at least 100%

>>19955016
WRITTEN i'm gonna fucking kill myself

>>19951656
>I used exclamation marks ironically.
Based. You shouldn't cringe this is a big ball move

>>19951652
Perchance

>>19951669
Keep it up, baby!

>>19954458
Basically every English teacher and professor I ever talked shit on I later realized was right, and every kid who talked shit on the English teachers weren't following class instructions and were writing garbage papers.

>>19952364
>Indeed,

>>19951852
>There are no hard distinctions between what is real and what is unreal, nor between what is true and what is false. A thing is not necessarily either true or false; it can be both true and false.’

>>19952364
it's a lot more verbose than it needs to be, but it's not unreadable.

>>19951879
Im wheezing

slightly unrelated but didn't want to kill another thread for this story:
I went to middle school with this kid (didn't shower) who for about 4-6 months always carried around a copy of the communist manifesto with him. He clearly wanted to show it off as he would carry it around in his hands rather than his bookbag and set it down on his desk during class. Had a good laugh about it this morning when I remembered all of this and realized that the manifesto is maybe 40 pages long.

>>19951652
Perchance

I got a B in GSCE English Lit (UK). The book was Pride and Prejudice. I didn't even read it but watched the movie the night before the exam.

I had a history course in college where if you passed the first four essays the last one was a gimme that didn't count so I wrote a normal essay for 3/4 of a page and then spent the next three pages talking about hollow earth and lizard people and called hitler a communist at some point. He actually critiqued it line by line and it didn't count towards my grade.

Nobody will believe this but I took a finance class senior year about cryptocurrency and the professor had been posting on /biz/ for over 10 years and posted Patrick Bateman Chainlink memes in his powerpoints. The final project was an essay about debt, and I cited Jung, de Maistre, Psalms, Galileo, and some other stuff. Got a 90 on it

>>19956875
poor soul stuck with a chromebook

>>19951652
In my freshman composition class, our professor had us all write a short as a way for her to gauge our writing capability to see if we had to go to the writing lab for assistance on all of our essays going forward. I ended writing an edgy paper on why honesty is bad. She liked it and I didn't have to attend any writing workshops. Another paper I wrote in that class was on winning arguments, where I was basically a cringe Schopenhauer. She said I was a good writer, but I couldn't take her opinion seriously because she was a retarded blockhead. She actually had us complete an in-class exercise on the use of there, their, and they're. She also made political comments on even the slightest tangent comment. Calling her a Marxist or a shitlib would be a compliment. She was just dumb.

I taught art history at university and hated grading papers mostly bc the students were there bc they were autists, not essay writers.
>One time a kid had dyslexia but nobody has told me. He has used some spell check that changed proper names to the closest-sounding words. So I couldn't give a high mark.
>Anyhow I saw him much later at a student party and we talked it through.
>It's really hard work being a teacher / lecturer. I used to put a lot of effort into writing lectures only for students to not turn up, or not pay attention.
>I know I had a positive influence on some students so that's good. But overall, holy fuck.

>>19957021
I also wrote a paper on privacy and Edward Snowden while drunk. That was fun. In my sophomore English class, I wrote a paper on the evils of technology citing Spengler, Guenon, Uncle Ted, Heidegger, Ellul, and Goethe. I got a B on it for turning it in late, because I had to go to the bank that morning to sort out a couple fraudulent charges on my debit card. My views on tech have matured a bit since then, and looking back on it now, it was pure cringe.

>>19951915
Rekt

>>19952030
>GE classes were stupid. I just wanted my engineering degree.
The idea that they are servicing a for profit diploma mill with undregrad retards offends the vanity of the terminally adjunct professors (or the full tenure slaves forced to moonlight GE classes that just wants to do research), resulting in the Gentleman's C -- like your hippy prof -- or you get someone who is going to resent having to read what little the TAs aren't doing for them already and they're even lower in the totem pole

>>19954698
This sounds incredible, post it

>>19951652
i wrote a history essay about how world war i was completely germany's fault. i didnt actually believe this, i was basically trying to construct a dumb argument on purpose. i purposely cherry picked every piece of evidence and also put loads of pictures in my essay because i thought it was funny.

i still got an A

>>19957967
i also wrote an essay in uni overnight about windows that started off very well but by the end i was very sleep deprived and started writing in bullet points. i claimed it was "theory fiction" and got a first. the professor was always generous with grades though.

>>19951860
Perchance

t 26

>>19951829
>my teacher, who was my favorite, railed at me while classes were changing.
Do you live in america, anon? I can hardly imagine this much meanness coming from a teacher in Asia.

>>19952087
>tfw professor anon makes you wear a dress until you finish with the greeks

>>19951652
In highschool I wrote a short once ranting about this telecommunication company in our country and tangentially cited marxist quotes along with every argument, despite surface level connection between each.

I tried to write a paper on A Wild Sheep Chase with the goal of proving two characters were the same. At 9am on the front lawn of my student learning center, I realized that it was a stupid premise and there wasn’t enough contextual evidence to write a final paper on it. The paper was due in 3 hours, worth 40% of my grade, and I had already pulled an allnighter on it.

>>19951652
Most of them. I realized a couple of years after I finished school that I have never in my life answered a question straight. It doesn't help that I have adhd. Most of what I wrote was barely coherent and barely on topic (sometimes it wasn't even on topic at all). I only managed to graduate because I have (had) legitimate talent and because I was obviously so spastic that my teachers took pity on me. I remember one time, my teacher made up a reason to give me some extra points so I didn't get a failing grade. I think the reason was "excessive creativity" or something.

>>19951656
I was having my teacher score me absurdly low for well written papers that were above normie cud and spit. She assigned us to read "The Power of One" about some South African white boxer. The essay was to relate this to a modern public figure. So I set out to write the niggeriest neoliberal paper on how Tyler the Creator is someone who is following the American dream and something something apartheid bad. It was disingenuous. I got my first 100%.
Fuck English teachers.

>>19951879
The funniest part about this whole thing is that is only 4% away from passing

>>19959174
>tyler the creator is living the american dream
>apartheid is bad
these things are true though

>>19951652
A paper on analytical methods in molecular biology. I hadn't follewed the lectures. My partner didn't understand anything either and what she wrote was full of English mistakes. It had to be submitted at 9 in the moring and she didn't show up the day before so I wrote everythin within a hour at 4 in the morning so my Enlish was broken as well and the content was all basically bullshit. Still got a 6/10 but I just felt bad since it is actually somewhat of an important course.

>>19951652
Here is my mini-essay final project from my first and only phil class. If I remember correctly I got an 86% on the assignment, but all I truly remember is cringing to death while writing because I had absolutely no idea if my arguments were reasonable or retarded. I wasn't a phil major. (1/4)

>>19955916
i always got As on every single paper without even trying and i still dont respect my english teachers

>>19959206
(2/3)

>>19959206
>>19959214
(3/3)

>>19951652
I wrote mine where I thrashed globohomo and diversity and managed to get a 93. I'll post it.

>>19959197
Retard nigga go wash your eyes and buy some GME stock

>>19956875
>for over ten years
>/biz/
You're right, nobody will believe this.

>>19959211
Yeah, because a good English teacher is like a good coach, they're gonna put you to work and when they're done with you, you're gonna be a well-oiled machine.

Anyone giving you straight As (and presumably the rest of the class too) is usually a waste of your time.

>>19951784
Unironically get an AIDS test

>>19951879
This was an awesome read. Saved. Thanks for posting.

>>19953513
Tell us more. What grade did you get? What did the teacher say?

>>19952167
there are grammatical errors tho

>>19951652
>you can't just say "perchance"
perchance this person is wrong

>>19960171
Did you get molested by your coach?

>>19951686
>African American Studies class
niggerology class?

>>19960439
No, but she used to teach the Hungarian fencing team. Absolute bitch of a woman, and the standard against which I've judged all femdoms thereafter.

>>19951673

>>19951827
>>19951895
I've never understood why people actively try to prevent others, much less complete anonymous strangers, from committing suicide. Why does another life out of billions matter? Why try to talk someone out of pursuing an action they desire so strongly? The choice of life and death is one of the few impactful ones we can actually make; I can't comprehend attempting to dissuade someone from utilizing their agency like that especially when their life has no impact whatsoever on yours.

>>19955016
apparently it's so that the one who grades the essay has more space to write down comments.
I find it retarded as well

>>19952364
>signiffigance
I'm stealing this mispell for dialogue

>>19951652
I remember once in school our English teacher asked us to write an essay about something we didn't like. This was when chavs were still a big thing in UK schools so I decided to write about how I hated chavs with focus on their accents butchering the English language. The teacher hated it and told me to see her after class but I never did. Must have been 14 at the time. I still stand by what I said though.

>>19951652
in high school, I wrote a paper on Beowulf that went on a rant about paying taxes and meandered offtopic. got a C- on it
In college, I barely finished and only wrote a paragraph in the introduction for a 5-7 page essay. got a B after going to the professor and saying I'm not going to do it.

>>19951798
Is it okay if you send me your money because I want to enjoy life more?

>>19951652
I was reading the Pali canon for the first time as a freshman in college, and we had to write an essay on the themes of Anton Chekhov's "Gooseberries". I don't remember why, but my mind couldn't help but see the short story as having a lot of Buddhist themes. I wrote the essay quoting a lot from Pali canon and argued the story could be considered as touching the 4 noble truths. I feel it's kind of cringey now because it's extrapolating too much based on superficial similarities. I got a B.

>>19951652
>be me 14 year old shithead
>had to write your own small story for literature class
>hate books at the time
>cat brought in a live mouse 2 days earlier and we had to catch it / chase it out of the house
>wrote a retelling of this from the perspective of the chased mouse
>got a 9/10
>apparently teacher secretly sent it to some province-wide high school writing competition thing
>I won first place
>got a book coupon
>still hated books lol
I kind of wish I still had it saved somewhere, must've been a pile of wank. Was kind of the teacher though.

>>19951652
Probably the ones I wrote for my thoery classes as a first and second year
All got very good grades but even the professors comments complained of my puere gibberish pomo lust
I wish I could post them here but alas it would be a self dox

>>19961471
Be happy for yourself, anon. Precocious writing talent is rare.

>>19951652
>You can't just say "perchance."
Perchance. It's funny how this paper got an F despite it sounding like everything ever written by a journalist in the past twenty years.

>>19951827
This

>>19961471
>teacher secretly sent it to some province-wide high school writing competition thing
>I won first place
>got a 9/10
kek

>sophomore year of hs
>regular english, did well enough on my essays and tests to compensate for hardly doing any homework
>get number one in the class in an english standardized test
>pass the class with a d+
>next year
>have a dumb cunt teacher, probably too stupid to even be a housewife
>spends the first 10 minutes of class not even acknowledging us
>spends the next 5 minutes talking about the news or how she wants to marry Ryan gosling
>spend all class doing busywork or watching videos
>hands out great gatsby
>says something along the lines of "this will be the best book you will read in your life, every good literary critic places this book in their top 3"
watch the two gatsby movies in class, takes a little over a week
>final essay on the book is comparing the 2 MOVIES of the book
>spend half the essay trashing the book out of spite and sperging out about the essay topic being retarded
>still got a c-
I wasn't especially edgy at that point but that really pissed me the fuck off. a year later my friend dumped liquid ass in her classroom radiator before school and it smelled worse than a sewer in their for days, it made me so happy
>>19960679
fucking jej

>>19960446
Kek it was just a retarded class that is a blur even when I took it as an undergrad. Probably was close to 4 years ago now. I always wanted to fuck that one 50-something philosophy professor though. Do I dare email her?

>>19960551
Suicide is bad anon…

>>19951860
i'm 28 and same

>>19951652
My high school was the pilot school for a new standardized written test in Idaho. Since we were the first to take it, we set the baseline for the average but we didn't receive a score, so I did an intentionally shitty job to help set an easier bar for everyone else.
I ended up writing three two-page shitposts. I remember using only Kanye West quotes as sources because that was what I listened to at the time.

>>19951689
but domination by strength and resolution through violence is how you follow your true calling...

>>19951798

>>19960171
My university English teacher chose a couple of lefty chicks who sat in the front to be the teacher's pets and gave them 100% on everything while marking down all the males in the class. Fuck modern universities.

>>19960551
I believe most suicide is done in an unstable state of mind, and that, if the suicide is avoided, a better state of mind can usually be achieved where in the individual in question will be happy they didn't end their lives. Call me an optimist.

>>19962524
or achievement through cooperation and resolution through understanding and compromise. I guess I'm just a bleeding heart liberal type though.

>>19962712
its common with sucide for people do make the decision in 5 minutes and just do it impuslively, where if they just waited they would have found a better solution, for example if they had a gun ready to go on their nighstand, versus having to go to the store, buy a rope, find some place to hang it, look up how to tie the knot by the end you would have likley calmed down

>>19962643
Is there a picture like this but for the best method if you're just pretending to kill yourself for attention?

>>19951689
> Throughout the book, there are awkwardly structured sentences.
Bloody hell.

The speeches I wrote during speech class were pretty cringe. I think one of them was about how you should become an actor in a B-movie instead of a porn star, which was very cringe. I somehow made it through with both an A and B in those two courses despite how cringeworthy all those speeches were.

>>19962705
I'mma be real, if you didn't learn to write by college, that's unlikely to change once you 10x class sizes and dramatically reduce teacher face-to-face time compared to high school like most colleges do

I had ended up writing an essay on how Captain America led a proletariat uprising in the second film to appease my film studies prof.
The guy was a limp wristed marvel fan boy and communist. After criticizing one too many aspects of movies he liked (he only showed movies he liked for the class) he gave me the ultimatum to write a "positive" review of a movie I liked. In other words I had to write something he would like, without comenting on the flaws, I feel dirty having done so.

>>19952087
> It was expected of schoolboys to be reading Greek before they wore trousers.
When you cut half the curriculum and basically all you're teaching is
>theology,
>arithmetic,
>simple grammar,
>and language learning
this isn't as impressive as you think it is.

Plus, the version and depth of most subjects they got was appalling. Even if you were born rich and avoided being born in a bumpkin one-church town that didn't have anyone trained to teach biology, chemistry, or physics (unlikely, this is 99% of people), the scientific method had only been around for 100 or so years back then, and their understanding of these fields was very, very shallow.

So shallow that even a decently educated man like Ben Franklin, with an interest and the leisure to study, could make major breakthroughs studying subjects like electromagnetism even as laymen

The average zoomer is unironically immeasurably smarter than basically any Greek-speaking fuck from the past, just by un-dog-shitting most of the education system.

>>19963193
>>19952087
Pic related was what you were getting from the new england primer, the most popular educational resource throughout the 18th century. It was trash.

>>19951652
what do i take to write like this

>>19962643
That ruined my day. Thanks a lot.

>>19951852
In your quest to criticize the postmodern you have become the baseless meandering mass. You make sweeping generalizations about what this age entails. You speak in vague groups of "everybody" and "nobody" without qualifying. You say that diasaster films no longer elicit dread... how do you back this up? Who said this? What audience did you test or get a response of?
You say it is dominated, Baudrillard in particular by a lack of historical context - yet you fail to provide historical context.
I am not convinced what you are doing is caricaturing postmodernism to amplify it's traits, I am convinced you are trying to self-reflexively excuse yourself from having to back up your own thoughts and feelings. It's not really about Posmodernism: it's about what you as an individual think.

>>19951798
anon, can I have your book collection?

>>19962643
No the best method is to OD on heroin in a blizzard in the forest naked

>>19951652
>you can't just say "perchance"
Perchance.

>>19955003
>>19964023
Being a phonefag really sucks.

>>19951776
>I was a non ironic commie and incredibly bitter

>While there are some divides between people based on class, anywhere you look they are largely negligible except in cases of extreme differences; for example the differences between a multimillionaire and someone in poverty might seem rather extreme.
>People are not stereotypes, people are people, and simply reducing them to wealth or social class is not all encompassing of their personality.

What?

>>19952295
True. Suicide is kinda fun to consider. I don't plan to actually do it anytime soon but it would be my preferred way to die.

>>19964029
>>19955003
>>19964023

>>19962705
I wrote a patriachal critique on feminist literature in English with a feminist teacher and got a 94. If you can present an argument without being a spastic, and your prof isn't an ideological nut, you should be fine

>>19960551
empathy is a characteristic of those who deserve to live in a society.

>>19962497
Based testing saboteur

>>19962962
Should have taken it to the university ombudsman, they're the ones whose job it is to deal with professors being bullshit with grades and assignments.

>>19951686

the absolute state of burger "education"

>>19962712
Yes, but how does that other persons life impact yours whatsoever? Why bother wasting your time to tell someone in an illogical state of mind that everything they think is wrong and that the thing they're most trying to escape is actually good? What do you, personally, get out of the exchange? At best you're giving someone that wasn't serious about it attention and at worst you're trying hopelessly to stop someone from taking an action they've planned and desired for years.
Genuinely curious, have you ever been depressed to the point of suicidal ideation?
>>19964150
What people deserve and what they get aren't the same. Tell me that society at large promotes actual empathy and not just empty performance thereof.

>>19964150
Empathy, alone, doesn't elucidate one's stance on suicide.

>>19951652
Pretty much any summary/interpretation of books, plays, poems etc. we had to read in school. I usually bullshitted my why through these and wrote what they wanted to hear. Hint: grew up in east germany before the unification, so many books where of the communist ideology kind, but also some less questionable classics.
i. e. "Timur and His Squad" by Arkady Gaidar, "The Adventures of Werner Holt" by Dieter Noll, Lessing's "Nathan the Wise", Goethe's Faust, "The Rider on the White Horse" by Theodor Storm (which I acually liked) or poems like the Erlking by Goethe.

>>19951652
I was supposed to write a 7 page paper centered around a specific emotion of choice and its relationship to literature. I wrote a paper about irony.
The first red ink letters I saw said: "Irony is not an emotion."
I don't know why I did that or how I didn't notice my mistake until the paper was handed back to me.

>>19951706
In second grade I wrote a paper that was literally just my best recollection of a digimon episode

>>19951652
>>Who knows why he crushes turtles?
>Gross.
>>crushing turts
>Stop.
>>to stomp a turty
>STOOOOP

>>19954698
Please post this essay I need to read it

>>19951860
I found it cringe, but the final perchance got me

>>19951652
Did my english dissertation in a single day having read neither of the two books I was comparing. I was 18, and I feel sorry for the poor soul who had to read through 4500 words of sleep deprived, pretentious crap. I got a D, despite getting an A in all the practice exams and shit. But cramming for essays at the last minute, having done none of the secondary reading, has actually made me a far better essay writer than I am a regular writer. Pretty happy with how I've trended upwards since then.

>>19954698
Please post lmao

Probably the paper on Hume in my intro philosophy class; i didnt understand him at all.
The only good thing i have ever written was a stylization of the Lay of Igor's Campaign.

>>19957047
Who the fuck are you quoting

It was an option to write a short story for a literature class I had, or a traditional paper. I took the paper outline.

At the last minute, I decided to go with a story and delivered what I still think is my best writing ever. It was supposed to be a humorous take on existentialism that included a whole bunch of super weird shit.

I have shared it with a bunch of people since, and they all really liked it and encouraged me to publish it or write more, which is why I consider it my best.

I got a C from the professor though.

>>19963871
>it's about what you as an individual think.
uh, yes?

Probably the 4,000 word essay I have due tonight that I still haven't started. I'd say what it's about but I haven't even glanced at the prompts.

I write so many short 1-3 page papers for my classes. I figured out the formula for getting an A is basically to make my prose as flowery as possible while dodging in and out of coherency and imperceptibility. I also usually try to take a stance that most people wouldn't because originality is practically the most valuable aspect in papers for academics. Picrel is a standard weekly write-up for me.

>>19966130
That isn't flowery, it looks like you just randomly flipped through the thesaurus options in Word without taking time to make sure they made sense.

>>19966130
Picrel is an excerpt from the absolute worst essay I wrote. I had to write it because of a stupid student code of conduct violation and figured no one actually cared what was in the essay as long as I wrote it, so I had fun making it retarded as possible.
>>19966148
Ok, maybe not flowery, but prolix. And I hate the thesaurus argument because a lot of the words I use are definitely not ones you'll find just flipping through a thesaurus.

>private school
>thought it was funny to try and get the lowest possible score in social studies class
>I did
>parents get so mad at me they make me drop out before summer and put me in public school
literally ruined my life

>>19964180

>>19963909
unfathomably based

>>19957620
>>19965277
>>19965569
i looked for it but i dont have it. to be fair i don't think it was any funnier to read than it is as described

>>19965577
>>19965577
did you actually read him? he's pretty easy to grasp if you read his books, if its just excerpts and summaries i can see how it could be confusing

>>19966112
Then why not just say
>this is why think
why do you have to wrap it in the term 'postmodernism' which is an architectural term to refer to the use of neoclassical tropes in otherwise modernist (i.e. glass, steel - non-neoclassical material) buildings?
Why don't I just say whatever I want and call it Neo-Platonism?

>>19966262
That’s what you get for bad jokes

most of them are cringe because I, do not; Know. how to: use punctuation?

>>19967467
their cringe because they didnt try. the op is not cringe because he tried to be funny with the sidekick who is critiquing the work in red pen

>>19964835
>Genuinely curious, have you ever been depressed to the point of suicidal ideation?
Yes, and things can stack up in a person's mind. There is a > than 0 chance that my comment prevents a suicide and that the person goes on to regain a more healthy mindset, and what does it cost me? I would have been shitposting anyway, so why not try to do some legitimate good, and even if it doesn't, I can feel better about myself for trying to help a fellow human being who is in a rough spot. Genuine question, are you a sociopath?

>>19951652
never did anything particularly horrible, and I usually get high grades on papers, but I remember in highschool English I had one teacher who gave me Cs on every paper. One of my friends didn't even read the books and got better grades than me.
I remember we had one poetry assignment after we read Macbeth and I poured my heart out into a soliloquy from the POV of the king having a prophetic dream as he's about to be killed by Macbeth. I made sure It was all in iambic pentameter until the part where he gets killed; I had references to greek mythology and worked for days on the wording. I got a C while another friend got an A on the poem he wrote during lunch before the class.
Worst part is it was my favourite class and he was a great teacher.

>>19962643
noted. its nice because you wont make a mess.

>>19962643
Painless, sure-thing suicide that's safe for others is the bitch way to go. If I was going to do it I'd jump off a building in the middle of the city or something to make at least a bit of a spectacle.

>>19951652
i once wrote a comparative essay about Kafka and Neon Genesis Evangelion for community college

>>19968558
based

>>19951652
Why are some of your papers in bold arial with no spacing? I was required to use properly formatted double-spaced typing in Freshman year of high school throughout college.

>>19951652
I just wrote it. Procrastinated so asked for an extension, procrastinated some more and I'm embarrassed by the thought of even a TA reading it. Such is life

>>19951652
I took film studies in high school, and for some reason I decided to write an essay about the evolution of rape and revenge exploitation films, how in the seventies they were written for the sexual gratification of men. And you can tell so because of the bare breasts that were shown. The men always tore off the dresses, compared to modern day remakes where the women is face down and nothing is shown, and how it's often anal rather than vaginal rape. Anyways I said the latter revenge half is a way for the men to alleviate their guilt after having masturbated to it. I said the shift away from male gaze dominated rape scenes to modern ones with no nudity is basically telling a false feminist narrative that rape is more about power than sexual gratification. That our society has outstripped our biological origins and that rape revenge is a reflection of our repressed primitive desires, one that stemmed from how the most successful mating strategy involved forced coitus due to an inbalance in mate selection criteria between the sexes.


I cited like a dozen films and a bunch of feminist authors, and a bunch of psych papers about how rape fantasy is the most popular fantasy amongst females. I fucking read fifty pages of lacan for god's sake and my paper was three times longer than the average and I put real work into it. It was all written in good faith, but my teacher ended not even giving me a grade and called my parents. My dad asked how I got my hands on all the movies and beat thr shit out of me when we got home. I was suspended for a month and almost didn't graduate,

>>19952303
>get passing grade
>feel good
>don't care about anything else

>>19966262
Hahah.

>>19968950
are you american by chance?

Poor phil was hated by the teacher. He never had a chance.

>>19968950
well deserved

>>19964835
It reminds people of their own mortality anon, which they don't enjoy. Same cause of the kind of despondency that is abound when a distant 'celebrity' dies, or what the majority of people feel at funerals of someone they knew/were associated with (but didn't actually like when alive). Foolish people don't like to be reminded of the nature of things, the grief and responses are almost always self-serving in cause, as are the majority of vulgar people's 'charitable acts'

>>19967731
>Genuine question, are you a sociopath?
You weren't expecting an answer, but no, I dont think so. I'm suicidally depressed and legitimately want to understand why people like yourself bother trying to "help" others like me. Judging by your post it's mostly just that you want to feel better about yourself, right? Are you of the sort that pretends that bandying about the same ancient platitudes actually does anything for the depressive outside of making them feel more alienated and unworthy of being listened to? "It gets better" and other such drivel seems, to me, just to be a way to shut down and avoid difficult conversation while also making one feel as if they made a difference in the world. If anything, pretending to be empathetic to the plight of a suicide in order to feel better or because society dictates that you make a token effort in the situation seems sociopathic.
>>19970393
>Foolish people don't like to be reminded of the nature of things, the grief and responses are almost always self-serving in cause, as are the majority of vulgar people's 'charitable acts
This feels pretty accurate as well, just a blanket avoidance of the reality of death as a way of preserving ones own vitality.

>>19970448
Have you considered that suicide might be immoral, and that telling people what not to do is a form of social control meant to prevent people from doing evil?

I used to study theology, and during our midterm exams, there was a question about the Masada (asking us to describe the event, its aftermath etc). Now, I didn't know shit about that Jewery yet, but I had recently watched Spartacus, so when a friend whispered that Masada was "that jewish mountain rebellion, bro", I just wrote that exact fact, then I started comparing it to Spartacus and his efforts and where those lead.
I passed the exam.

>>19970471
Immoral as determined by whom? If by a creator diety, then I'm already damned in being given a life miserable enough to desire suicide; why not die and be punished with more misery? This life has already prepared you for it, and clearly the creators intention was your punishment all along.
If determined by man, why should I care? We only just started considering sex acts and forced labor for children immoral in the last century, what reason do I have to think judgments won't change again?
Without a religious framework being included, why should I, as a human being capable of decision making, not be allowed to end my own life? How, and in what way, could it possibly be immoral to decide to relinquish the one true possession I have, especially if I do so in an unobtrusive manner?

>>19968950
Literally the only good essay in the entire thread.

>>19962042
post pic pls

can someone post the essay on two girls one cup?

>>19952303
>paper grade: A
>no comments at all except one or two minor criticisms
>this has been every paper in every class across multiple subjects
What the fuck does it mean?

>>19971481
You probably wrote at a level that the classes aren't intended for. College writing tends to be an artificial exercise aimed at a kid with a particular level of skill, so students who already have those skills are at the ceiling for those classes and don't really benefit from the kind of criticism that class is designed to provide.

t. writing instructor at a college

>>19971588
Thank you, that's very helpful. My ego would have appreciated an "excellent paper" or two, but oh well.

>>19967258
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Postmodernism
here you go ESL

>>19951879
>teacher writes "page is to big"
>funny but also fake as fuck

>>19957967
You got an A because that's a valid historiographical view on the primary cause of the First World War, supported by historians such as Gary Sheffield. Stop pretending that you're a fucking savant who just stumbles into getting A grades

>>19970932
kek no, and she was not attractive

>>19961471
>be me 13-14 year old
>mid term paper was to write about the hardships of a physically handicapped group
>dont care about this topic at all
>half ass retarded purposefully over the top sob story about a short sighted guy who lost his job and family because he couldnt see the bus approaching the bus stop and thus missed it
>have very good prose and vocabularyy from reading the national classics (Ibsen, Hamsun etc) from age 12 or so
>get top grade
>best submissions from each school were sent to a national competition where the deaf and blind association or whatever picked their favorites
>mine was sent in
>months later my parents are contacted as Im among 5 stories they picked nationwide
>but they want me to rewrite parts of it before publishing in their magazine
>Ididntsignupforthis.jpg
>just want to play Morrowind
>Tell them through parents to publish as is or stop bothering me
>no idea if it ended up published or not, probably didnt

Like you, wish I had that paper still but cant find it

>>19951652

>perchance

There's an essay I read by Mark Brahman (the white supremacist) where he uses "to wit" over and over again. Very based

>>19966262
based. me and my friend in middle school used to compete to see who could do the worst in classes and get in the most trouble. both of us got kicked out at 16, best thing that ever happened to us both

>>19968558
based

>>19952303
>get high score on every paper
>have 98% in the class
>don't go to class ever because the lectures are boring
>le 'participation grade'
>55%
>end semester with an a-

>>19951652
I submitted absolute unfinished dumpster fires for most of my classes' final essays and still managed to get an A or B in the class. A liberal arts degree would've killed me.

>>19968558
I need it. Gib

>>19967994
This, I want my family to have the option of having an open-casket funeral.

>>19951713
>Not a numbers guy or a words guy
What did you major in?

>>19951652
I unironically feel like I never progressed past middle school writing. I have zero fucking idea how to write. Everything I write ends up being highly disorganized word salad. Not that I'm interested in being a writer, but there are many professions out there where you have to be at least somewhat competent at writing professionally, even if it's something that's only a few pages.

>>19967920
You never talked to him about this? The fuck was his problem?

>>19951652
I was in 3rd or 4th grade can't remember. The teacher asked us to write about who our hero was and why. I didn't have a hero as a kid I thought it was kind of a dumb thing. So I simply wrote, I don't have a hero because I don't need one. Teacher read it out loud and said that it was a horrible and I needed to make something up.

>>19966170
>those Chad fucking commas
>the double sentence immediately repeated
>the intentional misspellings
Please, please upload the rest of this incredible satire, anon. I can give you my throwaway mail if you want. Please. I have tears in my eyes from laughing. You've made a brilliant work of art and it deserves to be shared.

>>19966170
top kek
please post more of this

>>19951652
In high-school, a friend of mine wrote a fiction paper for his English class.
It was something about Clover from Totally Spies getting fucked by Colonel Mustard with a chandelier.
Since it was written without any mistake, he got a perfect score.

>>19968558
I'm genuinely curious. Post paper.

I've gotten A's on pretty much every essay I've ever written. Possibly a few B's early on. Writing essays is easy as fuck. Writing good fiction, on the other hand, is difficult.

>>19968558
Holy kino, please post it

>>19968548
That reminds me of the webm I saw where a scrawny asian jumped off a building and landed on the road at the exact moment a new mother was rolling her baby across in its stroller, and of how she spent a clean minute breaking down into hysterics over her child's broken corpse when only two minutes earlier she was cooing to her baby and on top of the world. If you're going to kill yourself, don't risk collateral. Faggot.

>no one posted this classic yet
Zoomers, I swear

>>19973214
You managed to write a coherent, gramatically correct paragraph clearly conveying a central idea. That's unironically better than half the people in America (I'm assuming you're American), where the functional illiteracy rate is something like 50%. If you want to feel better about yourself, go look at some boomer word salad on facebook or the attempts of melanated individuals to express themselves on twitter.

>>19964101
i'm guessing the professor was 94 years old and a classical feminist because otherwise this is bullshit.

>>19951652
Holy shit this is embarrassing. It's like some retarded /v/ poster was already failing all his college classes (in February no less) and wrote the most retarded and unfunny memelord nonsense he could come up with in an attempt to get laughs.

>Ultimately,
>It is easy to see
>Consequently
>Subsequently
>One can note
and some actual lines by me
>"it was a phantasmagoria of sorts"
>"Animal Farm is about being a weak male"

>>19964835
>Yes, but how does that other persons life impact yours whatsoever?
Whatever someone else does, and your attitude towards them and their acts, is a reflection of yourself. It's a two way street. Someone not caring about another's suicide will kill themselves, too, for the same reason of nobody else caring.

It doesn't even matter if anyone really kills themselves or whether other people really are careless or not. It's about what germinates inside you, defines you.

>>19951652
In 11th grade English we had a question about Robert Frost's poetry on our final exam. It was worth half the marks, and I didn't know jack shit about Frost except that one poem about a sawmill where he laments the growth of urban development or some shit. On the morning of the exam, I read it a few times and memorized some facts from Wikipedia. I wrote a four page long essay that was a paraphrased recital of Ted Kaczynski's manifesto and portrayed Robert Frost as a closeted Luddite. I don't know how but the teacher gave me a B.

>>19974245
Bane?

First degree
>minimum philosophy course
>super posed professor
>write an analysis of Jonathan Livingston Seagull with at least 5 hidden meanings
>go full retard and pulled out of the ass about 25
>she praises me in front of the class
>trying to shove me into some kind of conference/simenar with the support of the rector
>I can hardly get out of this, hiding behind the historical study of the personality of Ivan the Terrible, which I wrote at that time

Second degree
>a physical education teacher talks about how harmful it is to wash dishes with modern detergents, instead recommends using sand
>all diseases grow from the head
>trying to sell us the cult in which she consists
>(this is at the institute that builds rockets)
>write an essay on the influence of thinking on one destiny
>go full retard again, writing a fantastic story in the style of The Martian Chronicles
>she praises me in front of the group
>for half a year I have been bombarded with spam by all sorts of cults and Amway

>>19951784
not the worst option.
>>19951798
Im glad you are following through with your commitments anon.

When I was in highschool I had to write an essay on one of three Chilean poets.
Gabriela Mistral, Pablo Neruda or Pedro Lemebel.
Thing is, you had to write a specific essay about them how Mistral was a empowered and great feminist woman, how Neruda was a piece of shit sexist, mysogynistic male, or how Lemebel was a powerful degenerate.

Never once in my life had I read Lemebel, and I wasn't going to bash one of my favourite poets just because he was a shitty person, so I went with Mistral.

I wrote the most plastic essay anyone could ever fathom, the most worthless and ingenuine sentences I could come up with, using the most vain vocabulary I could manage, praising this woman for her poetry and her life.

I got a perfect score, and I was set as an example for the rest of the class.

>>19970448
>>19970598
You whiny pussy, why not do it then? Oh that's right, you aren't actually suicidal, you just want attention on 4chan.
No one is stopping you. You could do it right now, but you won't
Don't even reply. Go be a sad sack somewhere else.

>>19975312
I've been arguing that trying to intervene with a suicide is pointless, but I can see the merit of your method here. We should be proactive and try to encourage them into taking the leap, how many depressives are languishing in their misery because they're too afraid to just get it over with? How many untold thousands could finally see an end to their misery if brave souls such as yourself were to expound upon their flaws and goad them into taking action?
Not that it matters much, but I'm alive right now because I know I'm a failure and will inevitably fail at ending my own life. Seeing as how my posts have made you this upset, though, I welcome you to come do the deed for me or provide support if it would satisfy your misplaced anger.

>>19974907
>that one poem about a sawmill where he laments the growth of urban development
>>19952659 here, that was the poem I said was about the holocaust in my paper lmao

>>19975231
do Chileans know about Jan Neruda? I assume there are some quality translations of him if Pablo liked him so much?
t. czech

>>19968950
>film studies
I did something similar in my highschool theater class and the result was very much the same, theater kids and their cult teachers can sincerly go fuck themselves, It's reassuring knowing that most of them will never make it