/lit/ - Literature

So have you ever considered that maybe the internet is detrimental to your productivity? That maybe you should just close your browser, pull the plug and not have the distractions of 4chan or youtube or whatever? That you would do your best work if you had total focus and discipline? Just set an hour apart from everything else. Don't make yourself coffee or tea either, you'll just use sipping it or washing the cup as an excuse to step away from the screen.
Only you, your keyboard and the document you're typing in. One hour. 60 minutes. You can afford that much in a day.

>>20376612
This, except instead of one hour make it three.

>>20376623
Baby steps.

>>20376612
>if you had total focus and discipline
I don't. Either way, I think getting a solid two or three hours' work a day is about my limit. If I push all that much harder, I burn out.

>>20376612
Ive gradually cut out notwritin not readin time out of my life now I only play video games 15 minutes a day. I need to go ahead and cut that out too because theres also time I spend thinking about video games. Eventually I will have to spend time with a wife and kids whenever that happens but lately Ive been writing way more than I ever have. If I keep it up I will definitely make it as Im already savy to professional work and my image. I think with the right polish and mindset I can target my literary fiction to novelmilfs because its got romance and tragedy beside the more serious themes.

>>20376654
>having a wife and kid
Haha, imagine that ever happening.

>>20375838
>>20375838
It really means a lot to me.Thank you for the encouragement. It really means a lot to me that you noticed I improved as well as not making a complete dreck of a book. Just having a stranger finish it I think is an accomplishment in of itself. Thank you anon
To answer your questions.
>>20375838
Combination of all three. I let my family and friends beta read as well as random people online. Only one person got back to me. Who I suspect did not read the entire thing but just glanced through it. I also know many aren't strong readers either.

My editor (had an English Masters Degree) was a coworker that I think only read the first chapter and said he'll get back to me. I don't think he bothered and forgot about it. Didn't bother pestering him afterwards. Paying someone on fivver would be probably the best choice, but I couldn't justify paying $2000 for a book that would only make under $10. I did do a lot of self editing as well.

>>20375998
As for the corndog part, the original draft did have a paragraph with the robot handjob vice gripping it and breaking his dick in half, but my sole reader (not my editor) said it was too much and it needed to be removed.

Hindsight I probably should have just had the other two catch them in the act and pummel the guy. But I wanted a chapter of the robot wandering around aimlessly and white knighting didn't allow to set up the next chapter. I also tried to contrast it to an earlier rape, and give a message about how it's wrong to rape. Even if its a sexy robot.

>>20376677
Ive been getting a lot more attention from the success and grooming at my age but its still mostly aspiring sugarbabs, milfs, trannies, minorities and prostitutes. Dont know why I cant just find someone normal to notice me these days. Its been fun writing these women behaviors into stories as a way to vent while making it about something else.

>>20376695
Hey emilyanon I'm gonna try out your book this weekend, been meaning to since I saw you designing the cover in the general. Who else here did actual lit besides Ogden (eggplantanon)? Is Kit Williams (dose makes the poison) one too because I saw he was related on goodreads but didnt see him in the /wg/ pastebin. I think a few novels and the flash anthologies would be nice for my library.

>>20376718
Son of the sun is really good. I haven't read eggplant yet but I heard that's good too. You can also buy F Gardner books.

>>20376598
How do I improve my rythm? Bitch about the watermark and you're gay.

>>20376733
Watch your particle usage. Particles are the framework of your writing. Don't just focus on choosing the right ten-cent word. The way phrases are held together with particles and the different structures they provide will do more to improve your sense of rhythm and flow than anything else to which you can pay attention. Particle usage is completely ignored with beginner writers, but they're probably the most important building blocks in any given sentence.

>>20376733
Like so
>Innocent blood spilled at the stake,
Second line is fine
>The black king in foul murder partakes

>>20376731
Does Gardner still write? Ive heard his stuff is poorly edited but I'd like to see if he evolves as a writer.

>>20376754
>poorly edited
It's unedited. His writing is unedited and poorly WRITTEN. How do you expect a writer to ever improve if their poorly-written rough drafts are summarily published without ever being edited? It just doesn't work that way.

>>20376763
A self-publishing author can never hope to improve since they have no editorial oversight.

>>20376695
To add i honestly don't trust a lot of online independent editors. I've been scammed by too many people. I'm sure someone out there is trust worthy but I prefer to see them in person.

>>20376769
That's probably one of the most retarded things I've ever read. You get a grasp of what good prose and good storytelling / world building is the more you read and write, I don't think an editor is the end all be all for getting better.

>>20376741
Is >>20376748 also you?

>>20376769
How come literature is the only artform on earth that requires heavy editorial oversight?

>>20376769
No, you're missing the point. Every author who has ever been traditionally published has done their own editing passes on their work before querying. It's the best way to improve both the writing in question and your skill as a writer. Gardner doesn't even do this, I fucking guarantee you. He finishes, probably does a pass through an automated spell checker, then publishes. THIS is the critical part of improvement as a writer. An editor can help, sure, but if you're not even self-editing, you literally can't improve.

>>20376804
No.

>>20376812
In that case, can you explain yourself a little better. I appreciate the advice but I don't understand how you figure particles should be properly used and where I'm lacking.

>>20376792
Reading has helped me learn when to break the rules, increase my vocabulary and really lay down nice aphorisms for a thoughtful punch in my paragraphs.
I do think editing helps with clarity so even if its unorthodox its not sloppy. To me a good book without an editor is like a diplomat without a tailor made suit. Sure he should be taken seriously but some wont give him the time of day if he wont dress for the occasion. What I really want is for an editor to trust me enough to start helping me edit before I start a project, early in my career I have to give a 4th draft and a kissass letter first.

>>20376792
Do you really believe you improve by just repeating the same mistakes over and over without anyone telling you you're making endless mistakes?
>>20376810
It isn't. Every building constructed has to be inspected before it could be declared fit for inhabitation. In all things the same applies.

>>20376810
the author is too close to the work and can't see the flaws
other artforms are visual. it's easier to self edit visual things

>>20376817
Probably not, honestly. Maybe I could if you asked a more specific question?

>>20376598
How do you write from your subconscious?

>>20376841
A book isnt a building. The only time actual art which doesnt serve a primary, utilitarian function receives that much scrutiny is when there's an investor hedging his own money on it. Thats the only reason editors are so heavily relied upon in traditional publishing. They exist to make sure your book sells from the shelf of a barnes and noble, not to help you improve as an artist.

>>20376862
In that case i will ignore your advice

>>20376865
Enter the flow state where you stop thinking about the words consciously and let them come from you instantly. Like when you're doing something you've done for so long it's become muscle memory.

>>20376875
Uh, okay. Cheers, anon, and good luck.

>>20376857
Literal bullshit. Recognising the flaws in a visual medium takes about as much effort as anything else. Why do you figure independent musicians dont hire editors? Do you think its easy to recognise flaws in a mix?

>>20376841
>Do you really believe you improve by just repeating the same mistakes over and over without anyone telling you you're making endless mistakes?

That's what readers and feedback are for, and why I'll always advocate for posting your work chapter by chapter if you're a selfpubbing author. That way, you can build a reader base and get good feedback without having to shell out cash that you may never earn back to have someone go over your work.

>>20376876
Sure. How do you enter the flow state?

>>20376891
>without having to shell out cash that you may never earn back
You could learn things by spending money on an editor. Is it wasteful if the lessons you take from an editor's feedback help you write the next thing better? Seems like a pretty shortsighted attitude to me.

>>20373576
I want to thank this anon. Yesterday after writing 2k words in the morning I wrote 4k more, finishing the short story I was working on. Thanks, anon, and congratulations on your 65k.

>>20376904
Not all editors are any good. It's a huge risk especially if you want this as a career. If you want to she'll out a few thousand to learn, then by all means do it.
But some hobbyists just aren't willing to. All those YouTube authors are
professional editors and their first book usually gets completely trashed. So who's a good editor?

>>20376920
>All those YouTube authors are professional editors and their first book usually gets completely trashed. So who's a good editor?
Consider the possibility that editors aren't always good writers themselves. So, the books they write maybe get trashed because they're essentially well-polished turds. I don't have a holistic answer for you, and the point was that if you find an editor you can trust, maybe it's worth it to spend, even if you don't expect a "return on the investment." Further, it's pretty fucking silly to come at writing from a penny-pincher's perspective. You're better off learning to code, or bricklaying.

>>20376928
True. But everyone wants to save some money even if it is a hobby for most.

>>20376928
>it's pretty fucking silly to come at writing from a penny-pincher's perspective.
The appeal to writing is that its a pretty exhaustive artform you can do by yourself with little resources. Publishing it is another matter, because anything that involves making money is, but if you spend retarded amounts of money just to get good at writing that only makes you a sucker.

>>20376928
I only took the penny pinching angle because editors cost money and not everyone can afford them. I honestly believe that it's always better to post a shitty first book and get experience / feedback from that then to get an editor at the start. If you're really itching for a professional eye to go over your work, by all means get it, but I would highly suggest that you at the very least wait a while before making such an investment. I think editors are exponentially more useful once you have some experience.

>>20376769
>i can only improve in the gym if I have a personal trainer
KYS

>>20376955
>keep lifting with a bad form
>cause permanent damage to your body
Well played.

>>20376944
>I think editors are exponentially more useful once you have some experience.
This I agree with for sure. Spending money on anything other than a copyeditor for someone like Gardner (since we seem to want to constantly discuss him lately) is just completely pointless. But for someone who's maybe more serious a writer with more experience, it could absolutely make sense to just shell out some money on a GOOD editor—and one who works with stuff similar to what you write—even if you don't end up making money on it.

>>20376884
compared to literature, i do think it's a lot easier to recognize flaws in music

>>20376965
>lift with bad form
>wow that doesn’t feel right
>lift better and better each time
Yeah, I don’t need someone to tell me everything.
If everyone needed someone to teach them something so they could learn it, WHO was the first?

>>20376981
In the case of weight training, robert b. gainsborough was the first

>>20376981
I guess this disproves all injuries that have ever happened due to idiots destroying their own bodies.
Awesome.

Where do I promote my book?

>>20376896
Don't think. Don't fret over every word or phrase. Just let it come out of you in a stream.

>>20377070
Do twitter follow-for-follow scams. The audience will find you.

>>20377070
amazon ads for kindle
don't spend a lot of money until you see if you make a profit off of a small advertising campaign

>>20377039
>If everyone needed someone to teach them something so they could learn it, WHO was the first?
Dodging point and going to mistakes are made. No shit people get hurt faggot, it’s the ultimate lesson.
God you’re an infuriating basedlord who can’t connect a-b

>>20377127
Good advice ITT.
Someone has done some self learning.

>>20377197
>I acknowledge the fact that other people need to be taught but I am perfect and do not require it
I see, so it's like that.

>>20376695
>robot handjob vice gripping it and breaking his dick in half, but my sole reader (not my editor) said it was too much and it needed to be removed.
Why would you remove this? That sounds great

>>20377210
Oh yes, that’s exactly what I said.
You don’t work out do you?

>>20377218
Why are you so desperate to attack me with any ammunition you can think of instead of just admitting your writing sucks and you need an editor's help?
I'm perfectly willing to admit this.

>>20377234
There it is projecting your insecurities and inability to learn from your own mistakes.
Lift more faggot.

>>20377239
You will never get anywhere without an editor. And I'm not using a passive you here, I mean you specifically, as an individual.
Let go of your hubris. Swallow your pride. Admit that you're not perfect. The sooner you do this the sooner you can move on begin to improve for real.

>>20377245
Lmao, like I’d let someone else write 2-10% of my book. Suck my balls.
I’ll get ARC readers to spellcheck me after my first 2-3 drafts, but my words and ideas shall remain my own.

>>20377275
The strength of your will is commendable. I wish you good fortune.

>>20377083
Okay thanks

>>20376969
That's the problem - finding an editor who understands what you're writing.

Kaijuanon here, I don't know if this sounds weird in the wrong way. Look, I love writing strange shit, but does this sound kind of offputting?
Context is that this 8th grader inexplicably gains the power to turn into a giant, Ultraman-esque fighter, but has no control over it. Eventually, one of the other characters, a giant iron statue with a massive sword, shows up and defeats an attacking monster. She decides to run away from home in order to pursue the statue, as she wonders if it might have something resembling answers or aid, due to it clearly being a sapient being with the capacity for verbal communication.
Because look, if you sometimes turn into a pitch black, skinny humanoid that's the size of a 10 story building and is a literal walking fusion reactor, you'd be desperate to find a way to protect everyone around you from the accidental damage you'd cause. When the remote opportunity to fix your life in some capacity comes up, you'd probably take it, right?.
And yes, the statue speaks in Anglo Saxon because she doesn't know modern English. Yes, it's a she because I like warrior ladies.

>>20377628
You'd have to portray the downward spiral of desperation of trying to get help from all sorts of sources, finding them more and more fruitless. Also why wouldn't she be studied or some such?

>>20377628
Stop posting ideas for review. Show some actual fucking writing, you faker.

this is getting published
thoughts?

>>20377639
If a random humanoid giant shows up for a couple minutes before vanishing inexplicably, what would you do? Plus, giant monsters are a regular occurrence at this point.
Also, there is a positive note; The statue rejects her by saying this
>{You} ðyncan 3 ðûhte stræclic, stræclic {lost}. {I'm} sicor êow {don't} {actually} oncnâwan {what} {I'm} talu êow, hwæt ic pro bryttian twêgen nu helpan hwæt êow. {You} ðyncan 3 ðûhte efen cyning cyrten bôg unnon hêdan âðindan me, hwæt {what} {you've} rihtheort {done} {is} {incredibly} dw¯æs. {Your} cennestre, sweostor, by reason of forsôð {everyone} hê sêon {is} {likely} {looking} fullan êow. {So} l¯æfan êac libban de wið ðæge pro êow sibb.
But then, out of a combination of self-hatred and rage, she attacks a wandering monster that's way out of her league and almost dies, only for the statue to save her, and then said statue gets a hug for the first time. Thought it sounded sweet. But that's just me
>>20377656
I post writing in these threads all the damn time.

Which is the right side character choice:

A)Rescue depressed elf and take her home?
B)Leave depressed elf because shes depressed?
C)Drop off depressed elf at her relatives?
D)Turn Depressed elf into a mindbroken fucktoy?

>>20377678
Option C but she follows you out and her brother gets you arrested for kidnapping just like Quentin Compson.

>>20377678
d

>>20377678
A.) Anyone who doesn't recruit all potential characters in their run is a scrub. Get dat content.

>>20377663
What is this?

>>20376695
Given the mostly light tone of the story, breaking his dick in half is probably a bit more. As it stands, a broken hand and a damaged dick suffices. I was disappointed that the two girls didn't get some form of karma, even if it was just the facts coming out and them feeling like scum.

Anyway, my number one tip would be to track down readers that will read the whole thing next time. You need that feedback to catch errors. You will need to remind them about it periodically, but so long as you don't do it every friggin' day, you should be fine.

Any ideas on what your next book is gonna be?

How do I improve the architecture and defenses of my fantasy world? Like I think that AA would be improved over real life if there are a sufficient number of large flying monsters around. There are so many details like this that I get caught up on. How do I not let it drag me down without ignoring it entirely?

>>20378250
Bring it up only when relevant.

>>20378255
How will I know when it's relevant?

>>20378264
When it's important to your story. You don't need to create a whole world, you just need to create a sufficiently convincing amount of setpieces for your story. Everything else can be a cardboard cutout because you're not going there.

>>20376876
>finally have my plot figured out, feeling the flow
>realized I copied the plot from elsewhere
>again
God damn it, back to the drawing board.

>>20378342
Lmao, how?
This is like trying to make a philosophy book and copying the last guy you heard.
Just be original nigga.

>>20378396
How do I be original?

>>20378411
Even asking this question, wanting an answer from another, is the fundamental problem.

>>20378429
And? I've been trying for decades.

>>20378434
You’ve been trying for decades and haven’t written anything original?
Pack it in buddy.

>>20378446
Aren't you the guy that told me to
>Enter the flow state where you stop thinking about the words consciously and let them come from you instantly. Like when you're doing something you've done for so long it's become muscle memory.

>>20378448
No, I’m not. If you’ve been trying for decades give up.
Success does not take 20 years. It shouldn’t even take half a decade.

>>20378342
>realized I copied the plot from elsewhere
what's the plot? even if its derivative you can still do it with your own voice

>>20377809
>>20377717
>>20377716
Well this doesn't narrow it down at fucking all!
It also doesn't help that i forgot to add the fourth option:
E)Kill the depressed elf to end its suffering

>>20378541
Your protagonist reluctantly goes with choice C, it's a setback and they gain nothing, but it's the right thing to do. Upon returning to the family's residence by happenstance some time later they discover that someone else choose option D and she's worse off than when the protagonist found them, after initial signs that things had gotten better.

>>20378450
>>20378446
>>20378342
Don't you even think about giving up.
You will try every day.
You will work hard and strive to do better.
You will not succumb to doubts or mediocrity.
You will make it.

>>20376754
Yeah I read Jigoku. I was a genuine improvement over Call of the Crocodile. I didn’t see any of the previous problems in it. Not sure how the other books are.
Jigoku is fantastic btw. Gardner literally took the concept of Pokémon and turned it into a gory and mature horror novel. It’s nuts to think it even exists after reading that.

>>20378601
Shut the fuck up Frank god damn you are so fucking annoying

>>20378601
Shut the fuck up Gardner. You’re killing quality.

>>20377825
>Given the mostly light tone of the story, breaking his dick in half is probably a bit more. As it stands, a broken hand and a damaged dick suffices. I was disappointed that the two girls didn't get some form of karma, even if it was just the facts coming out and them feeling like scum.
The idea behind not having anything bad happen to the girls was to show Caleb accepting things and even when bad things happen, he's mature enough about it to not seek revenge. And the second part is hot girls, no matter how shit they are, always get away with it.
>Anyway, my number one tip would be to track down readers that will read the whole thing next time. You need that feedback to catch errors. You will need to remind them about it periodically, but so long as you don't do it every friggin' day, you should be fine.
Yea, lesson learned. I've joined a book club that meets once a month to get some more feed back, and I do periodically still post on /lit/ because you guys care more than everyone else. I think the anonymous nature allows for much more brutal and scathing critique.
>Any ideas on what your next book is gonna be?
I've already posted a few chapters on here. No reveal yet.

>>20378601
I’ve read Call of the Arcade. I liked it a lot.

I posted the other day about how I'd been off writing for almost 3 weeks due to personal/family sickness and workload - happy to report I'm dipping my feet back in.

Did a nice clean up of my chapter 2 - had a lot of changes/additions I needed around character placement and argument style. It was a nice way to ease back into the story and tomorrow I'll jump back in on where I off ending chapter 6.

Slow and steady fellas.

>>20378450
Why is it so hard for you to help anon? Why do you think telling him something without any steps will work?

>>20378696
Im gonna check out Emily before I start my 2nd draft of my 2nd novel. Sounds like the robots are baddies. Ive been studying how mobile app con artists and prostitutes operate and used it to build a story and character. From a continuity standpoint its exploring near future technology to trick people that led to key tech in the intro to my first novel that gets replaced.
I absolutely love the archetype of the lovable liar/cheat/thief because it plays into my themes so often.

>>20378464
Well, it's not everything including the ending, but I copied the main twist of a certain video game where the MC's levels meant an increasing amount of psychotic behavior. Should I feel worried?

Heading south to a lawless land,
Thought up a plan to kill that man.
When you gambit a king you risk arrest,
So for now I'll sit back and work on my chess.


my poem so far :3
Can I get some cool poetry reccs, I want to write more poetry and want to read some but dont want any little dick energy crying over some dumb bitch poets

>>20378886
>Expecting help in the crab bucket

>>20378901
No. I have no idea what video game you're even talking about but that sounds like Jujustu Kaisen where the mc eats pieces of the demon and gets more unstable and powerful as a result. Or maybe Bleach with Hollowfication. I wouldn't worry about it, desu. I would worry if you also include a sorcery/demonslaying school in it.

>>20378901
Undertale?

>>20378893
Emilyanon's book is a cute slice of life, there's little to no action in it.

>>20378792
Call of the Arcade is super based. Not sure why Call of the Crocodile is considered that much better. I liked Call of the Arcade a lot more.

You ever write something so well you can't summon the strength to write for the rest of the night?

>>20379075
no the hardest I ever felt something close to that was when I writing some smut and came

where do you guys get commissions?

>>20375494
Excellent! Make us proud!
>>20375566
The 1971 movie "Walkabout" might be helpful as an example of traveling companions that share no common language.
Plus, cute naked chick!

>>20377639
Hey, wanna hear something in this story?
There's a part where two of the characters form an alliance to survive a swarm of weird creatures. The characters in question are a man with super severe gigantism, to the point where he has to be strapped into a suit that keeps him from dying. And an overgrown alligator who seems to have taken a liking to humans. I swap perspectives a bit.
>I looked at the puppy-eyed alligator sleeping next to me, still fascinated at all the details I had never gotten to really see. I mean, most animals to me sans some of the larger species whales looked really small, so an animal in my size range was incredible. While she was sleeping like a baby, I wasn't too hot on getting any shut-eye myself. Not after today. When the first thing you come into contact with after an hour of waking up is a bloodthirsty insect-man who's as big as you and has already painted the town red, any form of guard-dropping feels incredibly wrong
>He always looks at me. I do not mind it, but why does he look at me? They never looked at me for this long when they fed me. I am confused by this. My babies are safe, but I don't know for how long.

>>20378997
I didnt mean to imply I thought Emily had action. The story doesnt have it either, just one guy getting ruthlessly conned and how he changes because of it.

>>20375731
Like every female protag from every teen-lit/fan-fic/etc.?
>>20376733
Just use LibreOffice
>>20375818
>>20375970
>>20377239
>>20377656
>>20378612
>>20378635
seethe

>>20376612
Nah, I need to take little breaks when writing.
>>20376913
My pleasure! Glad I could help!
>>20378342
Don't worry about it!
Just do the old plot in a new way, in your own voice.
Heck, even "Star Trek" was mostly inspired by "Outer Limits" and "Wagon Train".
Does the majority of published fiction seem original to you?
No?
Then don't sweat it. It's normal. The originality will be your take on the subject.
>>20379097
Yes. It's called catharsis.

>>20378908
try playing with varying your rhyme scheme. It seems a tad too simple, borderline childish? Might not be good advice so sorry. Im reading Paradise Lost right now and its use of meter is really teaching me something.

>>20378867
post work and glad youre back into it. Writing is a creative endeavor, as a writer and artist, I cannot do both at the same time so taking a refresh period is good.

>>20378592
<3

>>20377678
D but unironically A

Ok fellas here's where the autism kicks in. Only got time for one story so I'll let you all pick.
1) Ghost falls in love with a woman who moves into his house, proceeds to, over months, pretend to himself that they're dating, only to eventually be cucked by her new boyfriend, making him fall deeper into the rabbit hole of his delusion
or
2) Man signs up for one way trip into space to map the cosmos as he goes along and radio the info back to earth only to find the communicator(or some other diabolus ex machina) has broken and he is left alone. He turns inwards to his philosophy and existentialism as he hurdles deeper into space wondering why, if he already knew he was going to die, did this now hurt so much more than before.

Anyway thanks for reading my blog. Would love feedback on developing these further as well as your take on which one is better

Broke 10k words today on my centralized, rough draft page for the new world im building. I've probably as much if not more scattered across other even rougher pages that I either incorporated into this new page as framework, or left unused entirely. And yet by this point I've built only a general godly/greater beings hierarchy, their origins/roles and their effects on ancient/recent history and current events, the agendas of the active members in the hierarchy, and several courses of action these beings may take once the starting point of the story sets motion. From there I've laid rough frameworks for eight budding civilations (not including the three dead ones and two intelligent yet tribal species I have as well) and the early stages of their developing interactions--none of that being apart of this word count. Then, only just now, have I completed a rough outline for the internal structure and functions of one of those eleven civilizations from its origin up to 137 years before current events (it gets conquered by one of the other civilizations, so ill continue to its modernity from that civilization's outlining).
I genuinely believe I'll hit 40-50k words before I even start refining just those aspects listed above, and rechecking the page in entirety for any integrity issues. I'm mostly surprised how, rather paradoxically, easy yet difficult some of the connections form between the overarching metaphysics/powers at play in the world and everything blanketed under them. Like at times I make what feels like a really great connection between the two without even thinking about it, and the resulting ideas and outcomes just flow naturally from it with perfect integrity. Whereas I'll make a connection that took some time to think up, then continue on only to realize, through a more logical connection, that the previous one made no sense. Causing both ideas to collapse, and me deleting some 200 to 300 words of otherwise interesting/fun ideas.
I'm really glad though that I'm sticking to this project. It's the longest I've kept to a writing project in nearly six years. And even then, it's by far and away the most thought out and detailed one I've attempted. I keep finding myself stuck for days trying to make sure an idea I'm going with is interesting, inspired/original, or logical. And sometimes I feel like I'm going to drop it or fail because I cant move from it. But so far every time, I've made it over the speed bump. And each time I do I have a night like this where I pump out 4k+ words and feel confident about what I'm doing.
I just wanted to vent this here though. I don't have many people to talk to about this. So it just feels good to put it out there somewhere, and I guess give myself a pat on the back for not giving up.

>>20379160
I've seen Walkabout. A movie about an incel abbo trying to get some o dat white pussy.

All my chapters outlined.
Everything is primed and ready for my to attempt this book for a 4th maybe 5th time.

If capeshit was one of my influences how do I avoid getting capeshit if again, it influenced me? Sci fi btw

>>20378342
>crafting kino antagonist, the themes wre just right with my protagonist, they're uncanny
>it's basically an already existing one once I realized my influences
Not discouraged but now I have to think about changing stuff

>>20380080
Just embrace it if there's a genuine love of the form and content of capeshit. Kavalier and Clay made that already in novel form, but reading Chabon would probably be immensely helpful in pivoting you towards a literary version of capeshit that doesn't compromise.

>>20377716
>>20378558
Ok, so I went with C because it got the most recommends. Still not sure what to do with the side story that's spawned from the choice yet but that's a problem for later.
>Just broke 300k words!
FuckYear.png
I hope you all make it!

Anyone got tips on fantasy writing (particularly short stories)? I get told that (1) my stories do not have enough of an emotional character arc; and, (2) my stories are too mythic or poetic, rather than being personal tales.
I'm not gonna pooh pooh these criticisms, but is the current ethos in contemporary fantasy to have relatable characters that progress or mature over the course of the story? Most of the fantasy I read is actually either influenced by mythology or old poetry, so I'm not sure if I need to read more contemporary stuff. I have publications but it's mainly in poetry.

>>20380192
Just write a long story but shorter

>>20380192
Contemporary fantasy is largely about the journey of the relateable through the fantastical, as I understand it. Not wholly relateable necessarily, but they'll have enough that any reader can at least understand.

Only wrote 67 words tonight..

>>20380192
post one of your works so i can get an actual feel for it

Just got my first 5 star review from self-publishing my first novel. And it's not from friends/family as far as I can tell. Now if only I understood how to do the whole ad/marketing thing.

>>20380284
You just socialize in several circles and bring it up in any context that fits while also passively advertising it on your profiles/etc
Banner ads CAN work but are basically a crapshoot, though not a very expensive one if you buy ads on RoyalRoad

>>20380289
I always feel weird just injecting my works into conversations, even when relevant. Really the only reason I do it here is because I can be (mostly) anonymous. Sure, that doesn't get the numbers, but at least I don't feel like a sellout.

>>20380295
I just put "Ask about my webnovel" in my discord profile and so far I've gotten around a dozen people asking about it just for that

is it fine if there is a difference in writing style between your intro and the center of your story? my intro is past tense but in a more vivid, involved first person while the center of the story (though I must say I just started) is more in an autobiographic style of someone reminiscing the past. would this throw off the reader?

I can't write long stories, I actually struggle to write stories over 2500 words. I always feel like I'm dragging shit out only to find it's actually really short. How the fuck do people who write fanfiction manage to bang out 50/60k words in months while I can't even do more than 4k without panicking that I'm going nowhere? How do you do it lads? When writing in first person I can write much more, I can reach 10k with no real problems but I prefer third person and struggle like fuck to get the word count up.

>>20380320
You just get into the cycle of keeping up with self-imposed deadlines and it kinda gets ahead of you on its own

>>20378601
Gardnerchad here. This is true. Jigoku is the better Gardnerbook.

>>20380331
How? As of this moment I am struggling to even re-write an opening paragraph for a story I have already written.

>>20380366
re-writes are like pulling teeth
i avoid doing them as much as possible, instead choosing to move onto something else

>>20380373
>>20380366
note: I say this with the caveat of rewriting shit multiple times before it's "done", but once a chapter is "done" I don't go back to it besides fixing really glaring issues

>>20378601
>Jigoku is fa-
This is the opening of Jigoku. If you can't tell literally immediately how poor the rest of the book is going to be, you need to read books.

>>20380393
HOLY fuck this is bad, hahahahaha
this reads like mid-tier fanfiction
even ignoring the absolute state of the prose, what about the tense changes?

What's more difficult for you, first person or third person narrator? My writing flows better in the first person, but I think I also make more mistakes.

>>20380461
Clearly you must transcend and write in 2nd person

>>20380461
I write so much easier in first person and can put a lot of personality into my writing but I prefer third person and think it is a higher quality to aim for. First person has this awful stink of fanfiction off it now.

How do you come up with a plot?

>>20380514
sleep deprivation, alcohol, and touhou ost fan arranges

Pic related is an excerpt from my upcoming cyberpunk thriller novel that I'm currently editing. It's a descriptive scene with no dialogue. Thoughts?

>>20380596
I dislike this, but I don't know why. It's very mechanical. The exacting, anal specificity by which everything is rendered just turns me off. Description isn't about complete accuracy as much as it's about the manner in which you transmit the information. There's something sterile and clinical about the way you represent everything. It's an enumeration of objects and their traits rather than something that brings a scene to life.

>>20380596
too matter-of-fact, flat

>>20380596
There are many many many words being used when they are not needed.

>>20376598
i wrote something but i would like for you to give me some constructive criticism
>>878318675
>>878318760
>>878318924
>>878319074
>>878319164
>>878319785

>>20380626
>>878318020
its on /b/
>>878318020

>>20380626
>>20380629
Fucking newfags.

>>20380637
hey i dont know how i only stay on /b/ im a migrant rn
>hot comb using wife was thinking she could get straight hair like one of them white girls. only for her hair to get curled up again in that humid heat. hmmmmm said tarquisha jackson this here wata be mighty refreshing, her big lips smacked about. "hey have you seen ray ray" uh uh said darquan i aint seen that nigga in a bit he might be down by the river side.
>massa came about knocking down the door looking for poor ol ray ray " have you seen that boy anywhere or has he run off?" sweat beginning to drip from both their faces knowing what massa is about to do if he finds ray aint doing what hes supposed to. "we aint seen him in sometime Jefferson, surely he be in this here plantation"
>before massa leaves the room he tells darquan specifically. "if i dont find your boy doing what he's supposed to be doing, im gonna have to lash you and ray." we cant be living like this we'z gots to go. "were we going ? we'll die trying to leave" hmm hmm smacks her big ass lips. points at her head. i's gots an idea. daqruan knowing thinking aint her something shes good at still asks what she be thanking

>>20380648
Even as a parody of nigger speak this is incredibly bad. Try learning how to write a single good sentence before you try to write an intentionally bad one.

>>20380656
im just having fun omg i havent laughed in a while. smacks my big ass lips

>>20380605
>>20380619
>>20380621
Thank you for your honest feedback, anons. I admit that there is some truth to what you're saying, especially concerning the first passage. Here I picked another part that I hope will appear less mechanical and sterile to you, so feel free to point out its flaws, if you find any

>>20380648
Never write again

I want to get into actually writing with a pencil because it's fun and meditative, gets me into a different headspace than when I write at my computer. but I also want to share online
how do I make phone scans look nicer? is there a writing trick?
>ugly penmanship
yeah I hope to maybe cure that as well. I'd do the palmer method but I'm lefthanded

>>20380754
oh's noes massa is preventing my freedom of expresshun. my oh my lawd oh lawd.

>>20380754
please dont imma sit in the front of the Bus. you aint holding me back. BLACK POWER!!!!

>>20380804
Read that as "BLACK POWDER! And envisioned a cackling magician detonating a bus

>>20380514
I don't usually. I let the characters lead me where they want to go. If I ever get stuck, I do a brainstorming thing I learned here which I call "action, so..." It's a simple cause effect chain that allows your subconscious brain to make a skeleton plot for you. Example.
He went to work early, so...
He found out his secretary liked to lick all the pictures in his office before he came to work, so...
He reprimanded her, so...
And so on.

>>20380299
>>20380289
Yeah, that will really make you the next GRR Martin, talking to a few dozen randoms about buying a book.

>>20380081
Lmao, what do you mean think? You didn't do it already?

>>20380461
I find first person easier, but third person feels like it's necessary for some stories I'd like to write.

From 'The influence of Baudelaire in France and England' by Turquet-Milnes, Gladys (1913)
https://archive.org/details/cu31924027517758/

>>20378601
This was fantastic. I just read it.

>>20381266
Fuck off Frank

>>20379511
>post work
I'm the Elder Scrolls tie-in and Copper Age historical fiction guy, so I've posted both my first chapters. Also famous for the crown jewel if my oeuvre "The Fantasist's Grindset".

Haven't posted any later chapters, not sure how valuable feedback would be if everyone's just going to say "I'm confused, who is this character? Why are they doing xyz?"

>Only got time for one story
Stranded in space story sounds interesting to me but both are solid concepts

>>20380310
You can absolutely get away with it but just be sure the themes and implied promises to the reader on what to expect is carried through the story. I alluded to the Sound and the Fury ITT and each section had a very different voice but similar feeling of dread and despair. It starts more incomprehensible and childish, then grows to a kind of sophisticated despair and finally outright fury and seething. I think it filters readers not because of the change in voice but the murkiness of the voices themselves.
Now one of my projects started more like a thriller and ends like horror but I tried to keep those critical story elements while pushing them into the past or trying to evoke the horror at the end without going full genre fiction. I dont want readers to think Im there to hype them up or scare them, so I try to minimize the tropes and focus on just good drama set on the fringe of a future society not unlike our own.

>>20381338
This is a deceptively good post. Faulkner was a master at voice modulation, absolutely. Joyce also very successfully switched up his stylism, most notably in Ulysses. I've never read DFW, but I do recall that he utilized different narrative voices as well. Pynchoni, in Slow Learner, says—and as evidenced by M&D—that a lot of how he sees his improvement and trajectory as a writer had to do with stylistic voice.

All of this is to say that I think stylistic continuity in narration is pretty dramatically overrated. Switch tenses, perspectives, styles, whatever. Just make sure you earn it.

>>20380299
>associating your discord profile with your webnovel
No drawbacks there, no siree

>>20376598
What do you think of made up dialects? Languages are my special interest, and I absolutely love the way people talk in Firefly. Whenever I'm writing scifi or fantasy, I try to make my own. Ya or nah?

>>20381452
Depends how it works. If it's just impenetrable nonsense for flavour, keep it minimal. Maybe hide some genuine things in it, but nothing crucial. If it's just extra slang and whatnot, that's fine.

>>20381456
>If it's just extra slang and whatnot, that's fine.
Okay good, thanks. It's mostly this.

>>20376598
I've been procrastinating writing my SFF novel by writing a biography of a fictional burnout writer from the 30s. Anyone wanna see?

If University professors are so smart and articulate why do they have absolutely god awful hand writing?

>>20381438
Not that I would want a discord but I see a lot of influencers on streaming services use it to reward fans and retain them. Honestly for writing Id rather just be on Goodreads, social media or some other forum. I can understand for perfoming arts though. Also I almost fell out of my chair when I saw Husseys bare nipples in highschool I cant believe they let us watch that movie.

>>20381554
This spic is writing in Spanish.

>>20380310
check out the epistolary style
that lets you mix point of view and tense easily

Have you guys ever written a story you didn't really like all that much. Like, the characters, story and shit just didn't really sit well with you as something else did?

>>20381628
Not that anon but I was gonna do epistolary for a next story. My first draft is practically all email/ text message format but Im going to run through and change some of them to first person present or past and also first person encounters. I want avoid it just being all dialogue between the same two people in the same POV and while I can break it up with other scenes and bring texts to life as describing what is going on around a person absorbed in a message.

>>20381665
Sure. Pretty much everything I write sucks and I'm ashamed at how clunky and unnatural everything is.

>>20381665
I love all my characters so far or dont include them. Itd be good for me to fill the world with people but I have a quaint voice so I tend to go with rather conservative number of characters right now. Would love to make some kind of small town drama but its just not in the cards.

Explain why this prose is bad. You should be able to do this.

>Would love to make some kind of small town drama but its just not in the cards.
Same. I really wanted to make this story and I really fucking liked the characters but I know I'm not ready for it. Now I'm kinda just dwindling around old story ideas and trying to see if it all sticks.

>>20381705
meant to reply to >>20381687

>>20377127
How about free alternatives? Don't get me wrong, I plan on using Kindle ads, but where else can I promote my book that doesn't have any cost.

>>20381711
Reddit. Here.

>>20381691
I think it's pretty good despite being flowery. The descriptions are well written.

>>20380596
>pill-like capsule
>his iris was scanned flashlessly

>>20381691
wait, is this actually bad? am i a pleb? what's going on?

>>20381691
The first paragraph doesn't offer enough period breaks for me. She keeps going on and on with commas. It's supposed to be a slow scene of her admiring the hills but there's 50 things going on at once

>>20381752
It has ADVERBS

>>20381691
honestly just link the full text if you're going to ask for critique
https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/ur5t02/keep_quiet/

>>20381691
>keep quiet
Don't tell me what to do

>>20381774
I WILL NOT BE TOLD WHERE TO STAND

>>20381691
Someone level with me, seriously. Is this supposed to be an example of bad writing? I feel like my prose is SHIT compared to this. My descriptions are wooden and stiff while the stuff here seems pretty good.

>>20381691
Misusing words where different, more normal synonyms would be appropriate. And redundancies, so many redundancies. In the first two lines along walked would be better than tread. Trickled quietly is redundant. Saying a stream is a pitiful imitation of when it had more water is a misuse of the phrase.

Then plotwise, the reason she doesn't change her shape makes no sense internally within the confines of even these short paragraphs because she should be able to kill whoever sees her walking in this direction before they get past her, presumably. Then also there are all these puddles she's walking through, indicating that it rained recently, but the stream is merely trickling, so the setting is also full of contradictions.

>>20381794
fwiw an empty brook only trickles after rain. Maybe it was dry before?

>>20381803
I could see that. But we also have the moss covered rocks she's walking on, which means that the area hasn't been suffering a drought before this recent rain.

>>20381691
No sense for rhythm or flow. Invokes that semi-pompous "Why Yes, I am Writing" tone without providing any of the lyricism and prosody (read: talent) that justifies it.

>>20381816
How do you suggest new writers practice without coming across as pompous? Writing at all requires a certain level of pomp to even start. Arguably, your comment does the same thing you've identified in that writer.

>>20376612
I’ve considered that 4chan is a complete waste of time. Even these threads are much use. But I think I’m addicted to the discouragement, abuse, and idiocy of you people.
What’s wrong with me? How do I leave here?

>>20381827
>How do you suggest new writers practice without coming across as pompous
NTA but I would suggest to be willing to be pompous/pseud/cringe if it means improving. If you write too restrained and scared, that's all you'll ever write like.

>>20381816
>stop trying to write good prose! you're not even a writer! abloobloo
there's good critique and bad critique, this falls under the bad

What’s the best way to hit the reader right in the feels and elicit butterfly tears?

>>20381705
Cool, I mainly said that because tge first couple stories I tell are isolated and personal and another is political as its pov of religious leaders and diplomats trying to make a deal. I will visit the whole small town aspect but I want to visit a local library and study the hell out my town and I should be more well versed on those kinds of stories after a few years of readin and writin. I just really want to have some morsels for readers to connect families shared between my short stories and novels so studying communities or even just paying attention in church is enough to see how complex things get.

Woah F Gardner has gone viral.

>>20381843
What the fuck even qualifies as "good prose"? It seems like the most nebulous thing to understand and nobody seems to be able to explain it.

>>20381861
How the FUCK does he do it?

>>20381866
>>20381861
Shut the fuck up Frank. I wish you would just get rangebanned already for all this self advertising you do you inbred faggot.

>>20381691
>>20381773
Went through the story. Brety okay, I really enjoyed the ending. Highlighting some of my favorite bits from it:

>Through the trees, some few hundred yards away, small globes of light, one by one, began to accentuate the deadwood, punctuating the darkness. A glinting reflection in her path exposed a rusted train track that hadn’t seen use in years. Repulsive iron. She stepped over the aged metal carefully, avoiding any contact with its frame. Disgust had temporarily overwhelmed her appetite.

Great establishment of rules for our monster here. The scenic description leading the paragraph is KINO

>She would return in flight, cloaked in savagery, death on the wind; the whole village would be bloodied. Gentle death would no longer be theirs.

stroked my fantasy word count boner. Flowery? yes. Waxing poetic? too much. But it's a guilty pleasure read.
Outside of those two bits, I really enjoyed the machine described to turn the monster into a battery at the end of the story.

Finally, the ending was hammy, but it hit the right spot.

tl;dr: good pulp fiction

>>20381863
it depends on what you're writing
if you're writing literary fiction, your prose has to have some poetry to it. it has to be sophisticated
if you're writing sff, you want a simple style that won't break a reader's immersion
this is speaking in general terms

>>20381873
He’s a high quality writer, though. A modern classic.

>>20381711
shouldve listened to the meerkater if you wanted that answer

>>20381889
okay, if fantasy needs poetry, why are some people hating on the earlier posted fantasy that had flower prose?

>>20381896
That's not what the dude said.

>>20381888
>Through the trees, some few hundred yards away, small globes of light, one by one, began to accentuate the deadwood, punctuating the darkness.
This is a great example of redundancies.
>Through the trees, some few hundred yards away, small globes of light accentuated the deadwood.

And then there's a confusion of distance, and the rusted surface glinting. If the lights are over in that thatway direction, then there wouldn't be enough light to provide glint right there. And if it the iron were years rusted, it wouldn't glint at all.

>>20381892
THIS. F. Gardner is a true artist.

>>20381924
I feel like redundancies are justified if it's painting a picture for the reader. Like, reading that, I can imagine almost firefly-like lights popping up between dying trees. The redundancy feeds the mind the scene.

I don't see any confusion with the distance, lights can cause reflections at large distances, but the rusted surface thing is dumb.

>>20381892
>>20381928
Oh, I'm just getting trolled. It's so unusual to see on /lit/ I guess I need to take my meds more often

>>20381933
I could see reincluding one by one to give a sense of time as the creature gets closer, but the phrase punctuating the darkness is completely unnecessary. I know you like the story, and I'd agree that it's perfectly fine for an earlier draft, but it needs work in a number of ways.

Just ordered both Eggplant and Emily along some other books I was planning to read: Dead Souls, Ezra Pound's poetry, All the Sad Young Men, and some nonfiction too. I will try to prioritize /lit/ for feedback to you two.

>>20381957
You're not wrong at all. It's a very amateur style of writing, but it's a fine example of "good" prose coming from a beginner.

>>20381951
You’re not being trolled. You just need to understand that something isn’t bad simply because you’re not smart enough to understand it.

>>20382026
Have you consider that you are the one who is not smart enough to understand?

Reading books is nice, but it makes me realize how awful I am at writing. I feel as if I'm too low-iq to write something good. The greats have all those intricacies with witty metaphors. My stuff is too out in the open, in your face, without subtlety. Hope that in ten years I get something actually readable.

How do you guys cope with the wait on getting responses from your submissions? I want to self-publish on a reading site like RR to get immediate feedback from readers, but doing so fucks me from getting officially published.

>>20382149
just publish something different under a pseudonym 5 head

>>20382156
>publish something different
But I only have two stories right now...

>>20382141
Keep reading, write everyday and apply yourself. Dont be afraid to write something fearing it wont see the light of day, write to see what works. Study literary devices and techniques and try it yourself. You want imagination? Take ideas and collide them until something synthesizes that you find provocative. Something alluring. Take an idea one step further, ask questions about what you think, see and write and your answers provide you more content. Youre not dumb youre just inexperienced. You can train yourself to be creative to the point you wont be able to keep up with ideas you will just choose your best ones.

>>20382176
Are you published?

>>20381843
Well, we're not on r*ddit. My goal wasn't to be useful, it was just to say what I thought was wrong with it.

>>20382164
write something specifically for RR and write it as you go to develop your ability to write to a deadline
i'd suggest writing around 28k-ish words to begin with and drop that in daily 2k-ish word chapters for the first two weeks, then slow down to 2k-ish chapter every other day
you'll even be able to make some money on the side (a good amount of money on the side if you live in a nowhere-country where 100usd is a month's wage) if you do a bit more prep and write 38-48k in advance and make a Patreon with advance chapters

>>20382176
>Take ideas and collide them until something synthesizes that you find provocative.
That's good advice. Thanks, anon!

>>20381835
This. A million times this. Stop being so fucking afraid of what people think. You get better by going outside your comfort zone. Reach for cringy or pompous or """"pseud"""" prose. It really doesn't matter for shit if you reach and come up short. It doesn't mean you never will grab what you're reaching for, it just means that you didn't this one time. Talent exists, sure. Some people will naturally be able to reach a little higher to start, but overall, you probably have no clue how talented you actually are as a mature and experienced writer. You'll never develop that maturity or experience if you never stretch yourself.

Don't be afraid of failure, anons. Failing hurts, and mean words from the internet men can sometimes hurt too. You can survive it.

>>20380671
This was much more enjoyable to read than the last excerpt. For the last excerpt, I would suggest introducing something beyond the enumeration of mechanical detail, something figurative or plot-driven, just to break the monotony. Both paragraphs are entirely visual detail with imagery that is somehow neither vivid nor organic.

For this excerpt, there's still the problem of longwinded sentences without lyricism or real purpose. For instance, the third sentence of the first paragraph could be reduced to "He could hardly tell whether the pain was real or illusory, whether it was unending or ephemeral" without losing anything.

There's also a few remarks to be made about the grammar. I don't know if you chose "divers" over "diverse" to suggest some sort of archaic erudition, but I think it conflicts with your use of contractions. Additionally, your use of dashes is somewhat confusing. The first instance should be replaced with commas, and the second instance needs closure at the blue mark. In fact, both of these notes are already suggested by the blue lines of your text processing software.

I hope you will write more and continue to post excerpts. I could see this second excerpt crystallizing into a fine novel.

>>20382149
>>20382200
What is RR?

>>20382223
Royal Road, a website where a lot of people post serial webnovels. It's got decent discoverability for new stories and a not-insignificant amount of readers leave feedback so it's pretty liked for people posting webnovels as opposed to just throwing it into the void on their own site or whatever.

Explain why this prose is bad. You should be able to do this.

>>20382241
Anon, those are two knights jousting on winged lions with harpies in tow.

>>20382241
That's two ballerinas flanking a pair of dears holding up some bears.

>>20382241
It's an overwrought and turgid description of my step-father molesting me

>>20382241
Anon, those are two birds watching two other (and bigger) birds fricking

>>20382230
Okay whats the most efficient way to make money on this site? Genre fiction? Elden Ring style rip-offs? I never considered publishing there because this is not the literary work i want to write, but if i can make money while practicing it might help a lot. Do only a few people make money on it?

>>20382241
How is this prose?

>>20382283
Genrefic with a Patreon where you offer advance chapters, at least around two weeks' worth

>>20382292
And advertising? Youtube or twitter or anything? Or will it find an audience on RR organically? Also do they allow nsfw? Thank you

>>20382283
Well, the most popular series on there aren't actually examples of what tends to get popular, if that makes sense. LitRPG stuff is currently pretty big there, because that's what a lot of people want to read, but it doesn't actually make up a huge amount of the most popular completed stories, and only some of the most popular ongoing ones. For comparison, the two most popular stories are Mother of Learning, a time loop story based on a magic academy student learning to exploit the magic system through the time loop and uncover its mysteries, and Paranoid Mage, which I believe is about a middle-aged mage desperately trying to avoid getting sucked into the magical world because he just wants to deal with comfy mundane life. Or something? I know less about that one.

>>20382297
I'd recommend at least doing a couple review swaps through the forums and of course using whatever advertising avenues are available to you, but you also get sent to frontpage every time you post a new chapter and RR has mechanisms for helping new fics get readers.

>>20382297
>Advertising
RR does tend to show off anything that's updated consistently on its frontpage so that alone can give you some eyes, you can also buy ads there, and other outside marketing or whatever is always an option. They do allow NSFW, if you mark it as such.

>>20382241
The manticores mated, uncaring of the sturgeons suckling at their vacuous teets. All the while jubilant sparrows flitted this way and that, shitting on everything in sight.

im a fucking autist and i started writing this shit how fucked am i

>>20382343
The buses were metallic white with red stripes on *their*(not its) upper and lower sides.

Second sentence: Paint and windows were covered (not altered) with by filth that enveloped the concrete; the asphalt pavement blending with the cracked sidewalk.

There were minor differences in the designs of the buses <- this can be shortened by using different phrasing, example: "Minute differences could be seen in the buses-- varying models, advertisements, and paint jobs. Despite this, they all felt identical.

>>20382360
epic thanks brother

>>20382343
How old are you anon? Not an insulting question. If this was written by a 15 year old, or around that range, it'd be excusable.

I am rubber, you are glue
Whatever you say, bounces off me
And sticks to you

>>20381928
F. Gardner is a magnificent example of 'outsider art'

>>20382366
18

>>20382380
Honestly dawg, that's not awful for what I'm seeing. If anything, practice your grammar (there's an immediate error in the first sentence) and tone back the fancy words all around. Being flowery isn't bad in itself, but if it starts looking like you're using a thesaurus to keep things fresh, the writing isn't good.

If you're narrating, keep the narration in character. Speak like a human would. Even speaking like a pretentious human is okay, as long as it makes sense.

>>20382241
Ballet dancers and two angels bumping chests?

>>20379198
>Just use LibreOffice
Circumstances have left me without a computer and money is so tight i couldnt mention it if i wanted to. But ill keep that in mind. Ms office scares the shit out of me, ive heard you dont own shit you write using their software.

Got a response on a short story I submitted to a niche zine last night. They already responded-- they enjoyed the story and want to sit on it for a moment before committing.
They only have a few hundred readers it looks like, but this would be my first published bit if they accepted it. This is a paying zine, albeit under $50 per SS.

Do I go with it?

>>20382518
It's paid work, though $50 is pretty low.

I’m convinced Gardner doesn’t even post here anymore. It’s just some guy who impersonates him under anon and makes him look bad.

>>20382535
Yea. It's even less than that. Don't want to be too specific to avoid giving away the specific zine.
That being said, part of me wants to go for it just because I'll be able to say I'm a paid for and published writer. I have a full time job/career, and while I eventually want to make writing my full time gig, this could be a good first step.

Just trying to check and see if I'm missing something, or hadn't considered something else.

Odds are they'll respond and withdraw their interest, lol. But still.

>>20382563
I mean if it's just a short story you don't see yourself doing much else with, go ahead.

>>20378342
Shakespeare copied plots from history books/classical poetry for almost all his plays. He wrote over a hundred poems in an extremely formulaic form that everyone had done to death for over 100 years, and a bunch of poems with plots lifted directly from classical literature, before even writing a single play. The plots for every single one of his tragedies were lifted straight from prior sources. Do you think he gaf? For my first three historical novel plans, I'm not only openly copying plots, but parodying the titles. Imitation is the only way to learn any art. Artists copy the masters, musicians do covers, writers rip off plots.

>>20382518
how do people actually get magazines to consider them here???

>>20382812
Submittable, QueryTracker, ManuscriptWishList

>>20382795
>Artists copy the masters, musicians do covers, writers rip off plots.
Wha? You mean you can't be original right off the bat?

>>20382518
Where do you look up zines in the first place? And do you write for the zine or grab a story you wrote before and show it to them?

>>20381117
Think about convergent evolution, my character ended up similar to this HUGELY KNOWN one due to the role they fulfill so it pisses me off I have to change so much now, I really had no idea.
>it's a manga one

>>20383001
Most people won't care. Some will notice, but shrug and say they're just the same character archetype. Some will bitch, but what can you do?

>>20382372
Pretty much. F Gardner’s an artistic genius. Whether intentional or not.

>>20382944
No lie, not shitting you at ALL here, I just google "[fiction genre] submissions", or some variation of that.

>>20382549
He probably still posts once in awhile, but definitely not as autistic as people make him out to be

The dread of leaving a story on which I felt I did some good work knowing that when I return it will all read like shit-stain.

>>20382343
blah blah blah you can say this all in under a paragraph what is this

>>20382944
Sorry, forgot to answer the second part of your question. I write the stories before I look for the zine. You may have luck doing the reverse,

>>20382241
Those are two bears high fiving each other, retards.

>>20382515
Would recommend LibreOffice. It's not just free but open source, which means it's low on a particular kind of bullshit.
>ive heard you dont own shit you write using their software.
That's not true. I don't like MS Office but it's not dangerous or anything, just greedy and tightly bound to Microsoft's whims.

wow
this general is a waste of time

>>20376598
Any advice on writing believable aliens?

>>20383196
What do you mean
>>20383213
As long as they embody the alien and the unknown/unknowable

>>20383213
Ask the guy who mows your lawn.

>>20381861
He really has. This is amazing.

>>20380796
Why wouldn't you transcribe them to a computer afterward? That's what I do. The problem is that I procrastinate a lot and so sometimes the writings will just sit in a pile until someday.

The tunnel was cold and damp. The water covered his ankles, and Arki knew the path to liberty would not be paved with gold and rose petals. Blindly as he walked, he felt the ceiling tremble above him, as loud gallops came and went. "Tunnels such as this one were once used for emergencies during the siege" he remembered. "I must be under the Devon Bridge. Still a long way to go".

As he continued his tread, the tunnel got darker, its shadows engulfing every last bit of moonlight that dared to enter. "100 steps, and then I turn left. After 20 steps, I look to the right" he kept repeating to himself. Some moments later, Arki noticed a dark sillhouette in the distance. He drew his sword and proceeded with even more caution than before. As he got closer, the silhouette got clearer and an awful stench filled the air.

The reeking atmosphere made Arki dizzy and nauseous. The man before him had been dead for days, if not a whole week. His legs were a dark shade of blue and his gut was wide open, with dried blood covering his whole body. Arki took a closer look and he found that his bowels had been removed. The cuts were irregular and extended from his rib cage to the pelvis.

Everything matched with the stories that Arki had heard. A swamp beast the size of horse had escaped the circus to the southwest of the city and made its lair in the sewers that resembled its home habitat. Bodies would be found floating in the canals, often without intestines or a liver. Panic had ensued in Kadesh, with the sewers being shut and parties sent by the Elyrian Guard to hunt the beast.

This corpse, however, had a flaw, Arki noticed.

What do you guys think?

>>20383417
>The tunnel was cold and damp. The water covered his ankles, and Arki knew the path to liberty would not be paved with gold and rose petals.
These sentences can be combined. It feels a bit redundant saying it was cold and damp, then water covered his ankles. You can probably get rid of the first sentence, then in the second sentence, say "He walked blindly through the cold damp tunnel, feeling the ceiling tremble above him. Loud gallops came and went.

>>20380393
>...he was sitting on his front lawn, sitting Indian style. His legs were crisscrossed as he sat...

>>20383538
What the fuck was with all the talk of a banshee shrieking in the first paragraph, making it out like this is some sort of spooky story, only for some guy to come in and, presumably, fuck her? What the fuck was this man? Also was Adah the banshee? Which was Claire? None of this is made clear. The dialogue is incredibly stereotypic of a 'guard rapes prisoner' scene—very eye-roll inducing.

>large wet moist muscle
Alright I'm out.

>>20383580
Filtered.

>>20383580
Thanks. I'll try and fix it for clarity.

>>20383314
mostly for the reason that you don't. I won't want to transcribe something that doesn't contribute to a longer work
I'll mostly just be doing one off things for practice and fun. transcribing is boring so I won't want to do it
messing with the lighting I wasn't able to get a better scan but fucking with it in photoshop helped make it legible. I'll try to press harder next time

>>20383580
I guess I should explain since I didn't give context earlier.

Adah gets captured, thrown in a prison cell with her partner. The banshee is another prisoner, whom they haven't met yet. They're going to bust out, kill the guards, then find the banshee escaped as well, and it basically becomes the "boss fight" for the level.

It's got to that point in which I'm thinking too much about the novel even when I'm not writing. I try to come up with ideas or themes or symbols or plot points. Is that healthy? I don't want to get overwhelmed and abandon this project the same way I did the others.

>>20381853
You're asking for the answer to a high-level question before you've even done the work of building up your low-level skills.
Stop trying to cheat the marathon by taking a shortcut.

>>20382241
You're all wrong.
That's clearly Frank Zappa, as a satyr, surrounded by songbirds with explosive diarrhea.

New thread
>>20383763

>>20383765
You are early you triple fucking faggot.

>>20383706
That's fine. But you'll abandon it anyways

>>20383777
But you're literally a triples fucking faggot.

>>20383810
You jelly about my numbers? How about my word count? Wanna see my big word count? I've got a big one right here. Sexy writers are waiting for you to call and distract them from their manuscripts

I know my character's goal but I still don't have a personality. I can't even decide whether his general attitude should be sunny and friendly or grim and edgy.

>>20384112
>find a character you like
>take their most basic archetype
>add some secondary characteristics (optional)
>feel out who they are as you write

this method is easiest if you have experience with playing a character yourself, so you can skinwalk your protagonist until you figure out who they are

>>20384229
>this method is easiest if you have experience with playing a character yourself,
You mean like acting?

>>20384334
...yes that's what I said

>>20384360
Why would I be writing if I were an actor?

>>20384363
>"Why would I be doing burlesque when I could just be a whore?"
i dunno lol

>>20381830
You don't. You're here forever.