/lit/ - Literature

>>21537113
the goat after john keats and lord byron

How do I cope? Why should I cope? For Christ?

Whatever it is, it isn't worth it.

This is an immensely ignorant question to ask on this board, but which book have you read that contained the sort of soothing prose that felt like a gentle nurturing rain caressing your whole body, or alternatively something which comes close to floating downstream while wearing a blanket? I realize how juvenile this all sounds, but this is the imagery I put together in order to describe how I feel when I read that short story Norm MacDonald wrote about his train ride, and it's a feeling I've been trying to recapture in all my litscapades to no avail. It conveys mercy, grace, giving life, tender motion ; water, basically. I have found a tender sun (Tartar Steppe), but have not stumbled on the tender waters. Something submerging yet not suffocating.

>>21537113
i've literally never had an erection before

Are women capable of love? I'am not even trying to formulate this question as some sort of incel, men are superior or anything i just really want to know. As everything they themselves say about love they don't practice and as much in the past i have seen the female community complain about objectification they do it to themselves. Surely a woman, spending hours putting on make up, buying revealing cloths only to go out to a bar pick a man entirely dependent on his looks and let him sleep with her only for him to disppear in the morning is not what they think of love, correct? And yet they do this all throughout their 20s, and only when it gets somewhat harder for them after 30 do they feel like finding something more stable, but how are they ever going to find the respect they need for love at that point, after so many relationships based on nothing but flesh, how can these people 'love' another? Isn't this debasement, are they not defiling themselves and in turn the person i the future who might agree to take them in as a livelong partner? I don't understand, women are either uncapable of love in my eyes or for whatever reason they find joy in debasing themselves completely as some sort of sick form of self mutilation. Someone help me explain because i'am going insane trying to figure out how i'am supposed to muster up the respect and affection needed for love. I really do lack the cruelty of just being able to use women and be done with it but also have too much pride to settle for, what i would say is the average woman,so i have no other choice.

Why is it so difficult to find women that you can date and hang out with? The last one I met was in my freshman year of college (or maybe sophmore year) and that was in fucking 2014/15 (2015/16). It just seems like zoomer girls are insufferable too an unreasonable degree and even with my horniness, I'm not willing to put up with that. I want a woman I can genuinely love as a person, not a woman whose company that I only endure for sex. I might just have to start going after 18 year old girls that are a bit goofy/quirky or whatever. At least then, we'd have some mutual understanding of one another.


>>21537161
How did that happen?

>>21537173
I do think that women are only capable of love towards their children and even then only because they're extension of their body.

>>21537173
Why do you even care?

Does anyone actually find themselves attractive on /lit/?

>>21537209
I wish to love and be loved.

>>21537216
I do. I just can't seem to find like-minded women in the place I live. I used to from elementary school all the way up until the middle of college, but now at 26 things have ran it's course and I need to get out of this town as soon as possible. There's nothing here for me other than boredom and disappointment.

>>21537216
lol no
I'm an ugly bastard

>>21537173
>Isn't this debasement, are they not defiling themselves and in turn the person i the future who might agree to take them in as a livelong partner?
they expect that every guy does the same and it's you who are wrong if you're not doing it

>>21537173
I would hope that they are capable of an idealistic form of love. Honestly, I would venture to say "No", insofar as we are concerned with the same type of love that men experience. It doesn't help that the constant blackpilling against women is extremely convincing and built on reasonable and rational, as well as historical grounds. When we look at the views of women from history, we can't help but see the same complaints about women then as we raise now. Women seem to be extremely superficial to a degree that is almost comical, yet we cannot ignore the simultaneous evidence that it is possible for women to experience "idealistic" love. Unless the men of antiquity were deluding themselves with massive copes, we can look to accounts of love such as that of Odysseus and Penelope, a woman that waited two decades for her husband faithfully, Romeo and Juliet, Aeneas and Dido, and so on. Even the Bible raises the possibility that virtuous women really do exist and really are capable of both enlightenment and love.
I would have to say that the reason for women's depravity today is a result of the depravity of the times. Feminists complain that women are being oppressed, and while they may be entirely wrong about the reasons, women indeed are being greatly oppressed by society. There has never been a point in history more tragically abusive towards women; and all of the areas in which a woman is led to believe she may alleviate these abuses are carefully constructed only to further that same abuse.
I believe women are cynical, jaded, and misled by society into living hedonistic and unfulfilling lives. They mistrust men, and indeed, abortion, birth control, fornication, and divorce increase the capabilities of men to serially exploit women. Women are, just as men, in a position where the only winning move is not to play. Their horrible decision making, shallow and dangerous short-term relationships, and other superficial behaviors may just be the optimal strategy for attaining some semblance of intimacy in a society that is designed from the ground up to put the malicious and evil at an advantage.

Or women could be shallow and entirely incapable of love. Kek

The bestest lesson I am to be taught is that even with others you are alone. Else you don't have a self. I struggle with this, when impinged with another I freeze without road. There is no company in company for a person in himself. And with that I must continue.

>>21537272
I struggle with the fact nobody knows anybody else. We only know each other's personas.

>>21537276
Is it so? There are many simple honest things that you can stand in and see.

For 27 years, I used to be an incel, believing most of what incels believe in. Gradually, I no longer feel like I belong here.
Because I met a woman. She was the one to approach me first.

I came to realize through her:
- Women can have profound interests like art, humanities and natural sciences. r9k imbued me the idea all young people have few profound interests beyond socializing and sex. I can have hour-long conversations with her about "autistic" topics.
- A pretty and intelligent woman like her could still feel lonely. Simply being desired matters little to them. They already know they are hot and can get laid on an axiomatic basis. They still long for a deeper bonds which remain hard to find.
- Therefore, the key to a happy partnership (not hookup) truly is le personality, common interests, the flow and biochemistry.
- Women can approach you first, based merely common interests. No, you do not have to be a 6 foot 3 ripped Gigachad model. I am definitely none.
- All your first times, dating, kissing, can still happen in your late 20s and still feel as electrifying as they probably did to 18 year olds.
I would have believed NONE of that, if I did not experience it all FIRST HAND through this particular girl. Since she exists, there must be more like her.
No, we did not have sex yet, we are merely in the early make out phase. Everything can still go wrong. But I stopped obsessing about sex anyways. I long for the feeling of being understood and desired, which I finally felt. I changed.
I still believe in the blackpill, that most of your attractiveness is pre-determined by genetics, appearance in particular. Tinder culture still disgusts me. Women filtering 80% of men based on appearance still disgusts me.
But I cannot be as desperate about women as I used to be. Worthwhile women are out there. Happiness is out there. No, you do not have to be Gigachad. Just lucky, as I was.
I am not quitting the incel movement set. I still belong there. But not completely.

>>21537280
Hate these kinds of posts. It sows doubt in an otherwise certain universe. Blackpills are usually rational, whereas this post is irrational and purely anecdotal. Yet, there is a possibility that it is an "exceptional truth."

>>21537280
I'm honestly glad for you anon. I wish you all the best with your gf and hope she becomes your wife someday. She sounds like the type of woman I've been loking for for the past 27 years of my life (come this April) but haven't found in that time. Shit like this is proof that there always is a glimmer of hope even in the most dire circumstances.

>>21537280
How did you meet?

>>21537216
A bunch of people tell me I have a chad face. But I'm 24, mentally ill, will probably never take advantage of it.

>>21537289
We never “met” before we went on our first date. She texted me first.

As for the question why me out of eight billion people, I have not asked her yet. My guess is a relative of mine, who is her family’s best friend, spoke very highly of me in her presence.

I can only why she never used dating apps to alleviate her loneliness: visually attractive men who do not match her personality seem to mean close to zero to her.

>>21537216
My grandmother says I am a very attractive young man.

>>21537113
This picture makes me think of the times I have thought about the Agony in the Garden and gotten deeply sad. It's a silly thing, but I wish I could have been there to comfort Jesus. I know He was comforted by the angels, and that it all turns out all right in the end. But the idea of Him facing such distress, and such fear of death, all alone fills me with profound sorrow and longing. And the Apostles unable to stay awake on top of it all.

I find myself filled with a great love towards Jesus, and a desire to be the one to sit up with Him as He expressed. To be the one that doesn't fail Him, in the end. To be the one that stays awake and helps Him forget his grief at least for a little while.

This may be why of all the Apostles I most admire John, who at least followed Jesus all the way to the cross. At least one of them was faithful to the end. The urge to follow Jesus all the way to the end is very powerful for me. Yet I'm continually weak, and continually sin even when I know I shouldn't. I suppose I need Him as much as I think He needs me.

>>21537285
>Hate these kinds of posts. It sows doubt in an otherwise certain universe.
Consider the possibility that your certainty is just an illusion and a defensive mechanism against a crippling fear of uncertainty otherwise endemic to the fabric and structure of the universe itself. Uncertainty is a physical fact of natural law. There exists a precision beyond which any certainty is mathematically impossible. This is not an exception. It is the basic nature of everything you see, hear, smell, taste, feel. To bury your head in the sand on account of a false certainty is to wilfully ignore testable, physical laws of existence. The universe is anything but certain, and to base an ideology around some kind of ontological certainty is not just misguided — it's flat out incorrect.

>>21537280
I happy for you also fuck you for writing this.

>>21537349
I exaggerate my certainty. I know there are exceptional circumstances.
As for other things, I can be certain about women in the same way that I am fairly certain an apple tree will not begin growing peaches.

>>21537216
Not me. Used to get my ex girlfriend to call me anything but “cute” because I wanted to be “hot”. It was just to stroke my ego and hide my insecurity. I think women might find me normal looking but I find nearly every aspect of myself ugly (psoriasis, hairiness, asymmetrical, overweight, not tall at 5’11”, chinlet, bad teeth). Some girls wouldn’t like me simply for having dark features but that’s just personal preference and I guess some genetics going on.

>>21537407
It's irrational to simply file away anything that doesn't fit with your preconceived worldview as an "exceptional circumstance" without further examination. The rational thing to do would be to thoroughly examine the scenario and check it against your beliefs. It's the equivalent of saying that all objects are blue, and when walking out to get the latest issue of your weird violent rape porn or whatever, you see a red car, a yellow car, the gray sidewalk, brown trees, and simply say to yourself that these are simply exceptional circumstances, and since you "know there are exceptional circumstances," happily retreat to the certainty that all things are blue. It's just fucking stupid. The entire incel ideology tries so hard to institutionalize the "smart reject" persona but fails on so many levels. If you actually care about rationality, a rational person is constantly updating their beliefs, checking them against reality, checking themselves for bias, striving for the slightest shred of objectivity from which certainty can be derived.

>>21537216
It's subjective, even if it isn't. I've been called ugly, I've been called a model. I've had women throw themselves at me, I've had them act like I wasn't there. It's all about place and time.

Once you enter the white collar workforce you realise how much of a house of cards our first world prosperity is built on. Most deindustrialized western economies are still propped up by resource money with the rest of the population doing very little work but living off the fat.

>>21537484
Yeah. I don’t see it being held up for much longer. I’m not sure what to do. Maybe move overseas and become a specialist in a third world country?

>>21537468
This is the truth. Most people are some person's type - it's just about finding the right people, which admittedly can be hard and is often down to luck. I'm not trying to cheesy but there are many different ways to be attractive.

>>21537488
I'm not even sure it will collapse in my lifetime. Maybe it will, or maybe there is enough juice to keep it going another 50 years, but it can't possibly last for too much longer. Everything was forever, until it was no more as they say.

>>21537484
>Once you enter the white collar workforce
Why would I want to do that? I've got a comfy living, working alone all night up on a mountain where I can read, write, shitpost. It seems to me that people are becoming less and less motivated by the lust for material and economic gain. You might see that as laziness, but maybe it's more to the point that becoming one of the few who have most of the wealth isn't really a sufficient carrot to dangle from a stick that'll work you to the bone. I prefer to frame it as capitalism showing cracks in the foundation, personally. Maybe it's the soul sucking black hole of contemporary consumerism that's starting to be rejected. Why spend the majority of your life working for someone else's money when you could instead be pursuing the things you actually give a shit about?

The baby boomers caused this dynamic by their ruthless and cutthroat "it's just business" mentality. It's not my fault I have to live in the world into which I was born, and it's not my job to fix it.

>>21537484
I have the opposite impression. I work in a German head office and we outsource lots of work to Indians.

The Indians do the same job and have the same qualification ON PAPER, but their actual productivity is completely subpar.

>>21537503
>Why would I want to do that?

It was using the rhetorical second person. Rest of your post I agree with though.

>>21537508
Don't you think it's strange that your company can outsource to a developing nation in the first place and still make the money that they do? If it was actually a functional system why wouldn't Germans be doing that work and be doing it better?

>>21537451
My beliefs are the result of being willing to examine and adapt my views. What should I rely on in this case? Historical example? My own experience? The anecdotal evidence of men I've met IRL and spoken with online? The overwhelming scientific evidence that shows women are more likely to cheat (and enjoy cheating), provoke divorce, and engage in polyamory? The reasonable counter-academic evolutionary psychology arguments for the difference between the love of a man and a woman?
I don't hate women and I'm willing to say at least some are capable of "ideal" love, but it is certainly exceptional.

>>21537519
I am no fan of globalization. Very few people in first world countries actively are. It’s something forced upon us by the logic of capitalism and our upper class.

I merely do not believe in the notion that the wealth of first world countries is built on sand. There is a very perceptible difference in productivity between what a German team and an Indian team get done reliably.

>>21537495
>bro, just be yourself xD

>>21537584
Just be yourself is good because if you do not the relationship will be built on an unmaintainable farce.

>>21537588
>be myself
>end up as a wizard
apparently the farce is the way

>>21537584
I feel like people who scoff at “be yourself” have horrible conceptions of themselves or what a “self” really is.

>>21537584
Just B.E. yourself

>>21537614
Oh you can get laid if you want to. It just won't be with the chicks you want to have sex with. I'm not talking about prostitutes either. You just don't want to get laid badly enough. You dont have to be a wizard. But you would rather be a wizard.

>>21537628
>Oh you can get laid if you want to
I cant

>>21537580
So why outsource to the Indians at all?

>>21537641
You got no dick

>God vs. Satan
>Buddhism vs. Stoicism
>Existentialism vs. Nihilism
>Meaning vs. Meaningless
You know what I choose?
Neither

>>21537647
Im not sexual enough

>>21537648
>mfw

>>21537757
>Alexander vs Diogenes
Neither

>>21537484
>white collar workforce
I went about 3 years without renewing various certifications "required" for my employment just to see what would happen, and nothing happened, because nobody is behind the wheel. I would ignore deadlines, and when my boss would warn me that I had to produce some document by such-and-such date, I would ask him what would happen if I didn't, and he would get flustered. He didn't know what would happen. Assumedly he would have to report me, and then the higher-ups would just repeat what was said lower down the totem pole. It's redundant all around. It's all smoke and mirrors. I could write a whole memoir about my time working in white collar jobs, and how insanely staged it all is. Hardly ANYTHING is real.

Most of the world is being "run" by people sleeping at their desks and watching youtube on their work computers, being managed by managers who are on perpetual vacations.

I've worked in places whose inner mechanics and politics don't even make sense. It's like the world is truly run on auto-pilot, and meanwhile nobody actually understands how their organizations work nor who-does-what. It's all some weird invisible hand type shit. Most management positions are completely made-up. Oftentimes the dumbass running the front desk for minimum wage knows more about how the company works than all the other employees combined. Talk about stratification and alienation and shit.

>>21537503
What's your job or field?

>>21537761
>such as Cratylus held, who ended by thinking that one need not say anything, and only wagged his finger; and who criticized Heraclitus for saying that one cannot enter the same river twice, for he himself held that it cannot be done even once.

>>21537792
>can't enter the same river twice
Yes you can
I choose both

>>21537113
Why are most writers’ publications at around 26? Is this the age someone finally puts stuff out there?

Indefinite line between Monad and None-being - linus, calx, linus-limestone, limit - cloud of unknowing in exponential form glimpsed beyond the edge of the graph - supratemporal? eternity-is-ing / finitude-ing with length undefined / Be-ing permanence without time expressed is equal to Is-ing without defined points - not infinity or ineffability but infinitesimal-be-ing, where God dwelleth - tension of opposites / standing wave / eternity-ing return of Being-is-ing as fire which casts its light on all gray waters and formless face of the deep - there is no being or non-being or being-is-ing or non-being-isn't-ing but one standing sound, one above as one below, light reflected in many mirrors and one mirror of many lights, and its name is --

>>21537643
Because they are that much cheaper. The loss of productivity is more than made up for by the cheap price of their labor.

Nta, but I also work in a gigantic German firm.

>>21537801
First publications*

I like to get belligerently drunk and listen to heavy metal music as all patricians do. You might be surprised that from a literary perspective the genre has better lyrics than many.

I'm staring right back at my cell (self)
And through its frozen image
I'm laughing right back at my (jail) (hell)
LIFELONG

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTDWAMUcNDc

>>21537833
Greg Sadler xD

I daydream all day and get all the dopamine hits that I should be getting from real life experiences. Being a protected child I grew up to be pretty much a pussy. I don't fight my fears I just sit on my chair or walk while daydreaming how great I can be. I will die like this.

It's my birthday today. I hate birthdays.

>>21537851
I improved a lot in this regard. But now instead of numbness I feel misery.

Been trying to get my shit together. I'm applying to jobs like crazy trying to get my first after 1.5y of NEETism and post high school depression. The few job interviews I did made me feel less than human.

>>21537886
Me too. Happy birthday.

I can't bring myself to finish my story, I got bored after 80% of the job was already done and already think about the next project

I have had no meaningful human experiences

>>21537886
happy birthday you grumpy bastard

I'm dropping out of college and then I'm going to kill myself.

>>21537997
was college that much of an unpleasant experience?

>>21538037
Yes.

Why am i so fucking boring. Ive seen all the edgy shit on the internet and then realize ive got nothing of my own.

>>21537902
>>21537962
Thanks

>>21537997
>>21538043
I was in the same boat bro. But dont kys yourself yet. Life goes on and theres a lot more life to live yet.

>>21538043
Could you elaborate on the misery if you dont mind me asking.
t. been in the same situation

>>21537280
I just realized this post sounded way happier and sappier than I actually intended.

No, this is not a blue-eyed hopium “just be yourself bro xD” post. I am still a firm believer in the blackpill. I still sympathize with incels, even after a beautiful, intelligent woman approached me first, held conversations with me about art and architecture and science and ultimately let me fondle her in various ways, kiss her and almost begged me to hold her hand while we walked. I am still an incel sympathizer.

Let me tell you why.

It’s because EVEN SHE CARED ABOUT APPEARANCE, ultimately, even though we initially bonded over having very similar personalities and intellects.

We spent around 15 hours together so far, visiting art galleries and museums, the cinema, the opera, cafes, or just straying around the city. We complimented each other often. But I never complimented her appearance. Never. She is hot. I know she knows she is hot. I know she knows I know she is hot.

I purposefully never mentioned the obvious fact I and most other men want to pump her full of semen, I skipped this self-explanatory banality. I focused my attention and compliments on her personality, thoughts and dreams completely.

She did not. She constantly complimented my appearance in ways both subtle and admiring. Try to guess how often she complimented my height (I am around 6’2’’, which is considered ideal female preference by most lookism / blackpill content)? Once? Twice?

Yeah. Five times. Five separate times, she repeated it like some sort of mantra: “anon, did I tell you you are tall yet”? Another time, she mentioned my thick hair in a positive fashion. I don’t care. I don’t want YOU to care. I don’t want it to matter.

So even this genuinely very smart (her IQ was professionally tested and is above 120), very educated, very classy, very nuanced woman, the least superficial I have ever met, STILL cared a great lot about how long my fucking leg bones were and whether I was prematurely balding. And if I did, there’s a chance we never would have bonded, even though we are soulmates.

If anything, this experience blackpilled me even more. Even the smartest young woman still is prey to her biological instincts.

Pic related is still me.
Even though a genuinely wonderful woman took enormous interest in me, I am still a Chud (no, not the /pol/ kind - I could not care less about identity politics).
I will always remain a Chud.
Even if I have sex with this extremely desirable woman. Or another woman who approaches me herself.
Even if we become a long-term couple.

I will mentally always sympathize with incels: even though I disagree with their misogyny, they remain mostly about how attraction is formed and how men are discriminated against due to their genetics.

Thanks for reading my blog.

>>21538131
what?

i lived in china for 5 years AMA because im home all day today

>>21537113
We've had a good time together, we laughed, we had interesting conversations, I shared things about my childhood and you did too, yet you never text me and when you do you leave the conversation in the air, you can't ask me out, putting the responsability in me when I'm not certain that you even want to hangout.
You're a mirror of the things I dislike the most about me but also the few things I can appreciate, I still want to get to know you more, am I a narcisist or just a hopeful romantic?
I hate this captcha.

>>21538131
>t. Coping that he has an ounce of hooe and shared it with the world

Nigger, you got a woman that's worthwhile and a genuine unicorn among the sea of boring, stupid, mean and degenerate woman. You are fucking retarded if you don't count yourself lucky. Also I stopped reading around the part where you said she likes your appearance. No shit. If you genuinely love someone, you love their appearance as well as their inner qualities. It makes perfect sense for her to like your personality and your appearance. You care about hers at the same time you care about her personality and find hers attractive. That's what true love is or at least something very close to it: loving the entire person(body, mind and soul). Love anything less and your love is incomplete.

I think you are just developmentally stunted if you think this is some sort of rebuttal of your previous point, which was coherent and not aome retarded rant I'd expect to find on /r9k/. Maybe you should stop poisoning your mind with this "incel" bullshit since "incels" are just retarded sociopaths that can't navigate through any relationship just due to having a bad personality and sense of self. Even the nerdiest dudes I know have gfs and wives that compliment them that are attractive, but that's because they are smart and have good personalities. Basically, your chancrs of finding a mate diminish exponentially as you start to be a shallow person.

>>21537785
I work nights for a major ski resort in the western USA. I'm a security guard. Been doing it for six or seven years now without any real desire to stop. A bonus is that night shifts are maybe the one single application where being a weird loner is desirable.

This is a long shot, but has anyone pursued a BA in Theology, Religious Studies, etc.?

>>21538184
>Basically, your chancrs of finding a mate diminish exponentially as you start to be a shallow person.

I should say your chances of finding a meaningful relationship drop exponentially the more shallow you are as a person. Anyone can get into a relationship; most people come to regret it in time becusse they are fucking stupid and didn't think to much about how compatible they are with their spouse or (g/b)f before things got serious and they started popping out kids and are trapped in loveless marriages or divorces before long. Because these faggots were too caught up in appearances.

A lot of people in my life grew away from me into being different people or vice-versa. And my head is constantly reaching out for their past selves, these ghosts.
It feels agonizing, almost unfair. I'm not good with people, and suddenly most of my few meaningful relationships morphed into nothingness through fault of no one. All the pieces are there, but nothing will ever be the same.

books for this feel?

>>21538146
你可以读中文?

I'm really having a hard time figuring out the obvious next step for my job.

>>21538127
I want to, but I can't get myself to say it here. I'm going to talk to someone. Maybe they will talk me out of it.

>>21538216
yes, im not bad but ive learned other languages 20x faster.

I have time at work to read, so I'm thinking about trying writing and starting a substack. Thought? Anyone do the substack thing? Anything you would to read?

>>21538215
Onani master Kurosawa

>>21538278
可以请你用汉字沟通 ?我觉得是奇怪在/lit/遇到机会练习中文,这个是西方的website。 在中国你在哪个省住了?做了什么工作?你觉得中国的日常生活怎么样?

It's weird how cultures that are having less sex than ever before are obsessing over it more and more and cultures that are having more sex than ever before are cultures which have a very well-established taboo on either depicting it in the arts or partaking in it before marriage.

>>21538379
It reminds me of an underage drinking and smoking. Once you get the legal age, the thrill just stops.

>>21538310
No way I can type Chinese.

Guangdong, ESL teacher and other.

I was surprised at how nice everything is there. Very clean cities. People all seem happy and healthy. People are outdoors all the time. People don't seem isolated or confused about their lives. Everyone fits together nicely and are all optimistic. No dumbass culture wars or politics. High trust society. People are accommodating, generally happy to meet a foreigner, and surprisingly patient. Everything is new and clean there. Youth culture is very strong and optimistic. Even the poor areas are still somehow well put together and everyone is well mannered and upright.

I dated a girl for a few years there, and if it wasn't for her my experience would have been seriously lacking. I knew guys who lived there for longer than I did and never got laid.

been eating so many stews and slops that im farting like crazy. its actually really disgusting. my room literally reeks of shit and i work from home :(

>>21538184
>Nigger, you got a woman that's worthwhile and a genuine unicorn among the sea of boring, stupid, mean and degenerate woman.

>Because these faggots were too caught up in appearances.

So you chastise that guy for using incel rhetoric, but then confirm a central incel talking points?
Interesting guy you are, playing both sides.

>>21538470
>Ignoring the part where I say that appearances, personality and your actual character are all important when look ing for a girlfriend/wife

I don't confirm any incel talking points. Maybe you should stop cherry picking the words I say and read the entire context first. I very clearly said that sentence in a highly negative light and talked about how that only leads to misery down the road. I'm not playing any side. I'm just using my fucking brain when I talk about relationships work.

>>21538202
what about it, anon?

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/sBO3QXI1q4g
Man I missed my entire youth

>It was the sort of thing that did sometimes happen, when one was alone ... to stimulate what lay slumbrous, clumsy and shy on the mind's sandy floor, to break surface, as a child suddenly stretches its arms; it was just that, perhaps, a sigh, a stretch of the arms, an impulse, a revelation, which has its effects for ever, and then down again it went to the sandy floor.

Someone please convince me that true love exists, that love isn't entirely transactional, and that love is worth pursuing.

Somewhat related side note: I fucked a MILF prostitute yesterday who couldn't speak English and it was the best sex I've ever had in my life.

>read a book
>constantly think about how you could be reading a different book

>>21538650
drop it if it's that bad.
>>21538647
you have to live it to see. it's about the person themselves; spending time with each other, doing things you both enjoy, admiring one another.
a feeling of nothing else mattering, and a resolve to be together no matter what.

For all the shit that people enjoy giving to video games, especially on here, with the damning accusations of rotting the brain and never getting past their low brow status and so on, they really can be a very good way to assess how well your mental capacities are functioning. Despite neeting around for a couple of years now, I wasn't gaming much outside of the occasional castlevania stage and playing picross in waiting rooms, but after introducing one of my younger cousins to crash bandicoot 2, I had the incentive to try out the first crash on the psx since I never had it as a kid. While it's only moderately challenging for a 3D platformer, it made me realize just how braindead I had become due to all the accumulated neglect. All of my deaths in the game were not related to a lack of pinpoint accuracy or glitches or in-game engine tricks, but they're all traced back to either a lapse of attention or worrisome forgetfulness. So many times have I died because I kept forgetting to correct a glaring mistake that I had already identified over and over again ; Or I had lost all my progress due to panicking, subsequently becoming unable to grasp the flow of the game again ; Or I missed an obvious detail of the stage because my mind had wandered off into other pastures for some reason. This has me very worried about my constant absence of mind and inability to absorb information from my surrounding, and makes me question just how saturated and/or my mind has come to be. These types of situations can all be abstractly linked to high stress decision making positions in hypothetical jobs, so it's not just concerned with your ability to play a game, but with your ability to make crucial decision in the nick of time.
So I wonder if there is a sturdy way to regain vitality and lucidity in your brain. What is the mental equivalent to exercising your body in order to "reactivate" it and help grow instead of shrivel with the passage of time? I'm probably deeply fucked, for example I (evidently) struggle with reading and housework, and I have to do something about it now before it becomes irreversible, if it isn't already at that stage by age 22. I must find a way to unclog the neural pathways that deal with retaining, filtering, and transforming information, but how? What do you suggest, anon? And have you gone through anything similar yourself?

>>21538695
start reading books. if you still want some play, do something more demanding like a hard (serious) boardgame such as chess.
it's not anything "irreversible" it's just lack of use. start learning some hobby, too.
start off listing the housework you need to do and work off that, then keep improving and such.
start with some interesting fiction book (i suggest A.C. Doyle's Holmes stories or M. Leblanc's Lupin; maybe even mysteries like A. Christie where you can reason out the answer too) and then moving on to nonfiction.
puzzles are also an enjoyable way to work your mind.

I caved in and took zoloft. I hope this helps me, even if it’s just minor.

I love and hate my mother at the same time.

>>21538747
The duality of mommy.

>>21538783
I think I have mommy and daddy issues at the same time.

>>21537997
Just do what you want to do with your life. You don't need college anyway.

we are afraid of death because we have already faced it

I've had such a terrible time just sitting down to read lately. I went from closer to 100 books per year in 2021 to 1 in 2022 to 0 so far in 2023.

>>21539019
what happened anon?

>>21539019
KWAB (you have my sympathy)

>>21539019
Did you stop doing meth or something?

>>21538695
I play LoL/DotA for this exact same reason because I'm bad at the game because I seem to have the memory of a goldfish where someone disappears on the map and then I forget about them until they're killing me. Also because it's less tilting than playing ladder on SC2

>>21539107
Are there any /lit/ approved games?

>>21539169
Probably Crusader Kings 2

>>21539169
These are some of the approved games, but they are not /lit/ nor should they be anyway.
>Oddworld: Abe's Oddysee
>Journey
>Resident Evil (2002)
>Another World
>Papers, Please
>Space Station 13
>Hotline Miami
>Katamari Damacy
>Barkley Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden
>Street Fighter 3rd Strike
There are logical reasons for their belonging on this list.

>>21537113
>tfw you'll never be a masagascar penguin having the best three friends of all time just vibing at the zoo doing interesting tasks, having a routine, a stable life, you all against the world in your little militaristic cult

>>21537156
It's all subjective, but
Stoner, John Williams
Old Man and the Sea, Hemingway

>>21539228
I'd add

>The Talos Principle
>The Stanley Parable
>Lisa

>>21539228
3rd strike was the only video game I used to play frequently. I tried to get my friends on it but they didn't play fighting games and got too frustrated playing against myself.

I felt bad sinking so much time on something that I couldn't even do with frens so I dropped it.

But fuck me that's a good fighting game

>>21539314
Not only is it a legitimate challenge to master with perks that go beyond the game's context, but it's really beautiful to look at.

>>21538695
>What is the mental equivalent to exercising your body in order to "reactivate" it and help grow instead of shrivel with the passage of time? I'm probably deeply fucked, for example I (evidently) struggle with reading and housework, and I have to do something about it now before it becomes irreversible, if it isn't already at that stage by age 22. I must find a way to unclog the neural pathways that deal with retaining, filtering, and transforming information, but how? What do you suggest, anon? And have you gone through anything similar yourself?
What the fuck are you even talking about. You are 22yo, you do not have clogged up neural pathways. Go out there and start studying whatever subject you are interested in, if you like writing the drop games, drop other unrelated shit and think about writing, read books about writing, then write(this applies to almost every field not just writing), that is how you exercise your brain. Games are certified retard tier garbage.

>>21539288
>The Talos Principle
Still waiting for the sequel

>>21539384
I just started it the other day. Enjoying it so far. Hope the puzzles get harder though

in bed all day. dark room. very sad

>>21538202
Thats one of my options for my transfer degree. Really thinking about doing it. But I do read a lot of religius philosophy

>>21538379
Hypersexualization and porn man

>>21538647
True love exists with Jesus.

>>21539463
Here's a potentially interesting question: what do you keep re-reading quite often? there's almost always a couple of books that theology-adjacent folks never fail to revisit and keep close to their soul.

>>21539472
I havent found my literary oneitis yet

I dreamt of you again. Seems like nothing can stop you from fucking my life even after you left it, huh?
I'm really tired. I talk to maybe 5 to 6 women at a time yet none of them are able to fill the void. None of them were as lucid as you were.

It's somewhat funny to think about how most women that aren't you don't make really good friends either.
Like why the fuck am I still doing this? It's like talking to overgrown children. One of them keeps excel tabs of the different men she's fucked and expects me not to judge her. And now she's dating some Christian guy who really should know better. I wish this was some kind of sick joke but It's not. The guy is black too so it's like a David chapelle skit.

>>21539472
>>21539476
Well I'm not sure what you mean exactly. I can tell you that Romans 8 is my all time favorite part of the Bible and I like to read it over.

>>21537156
Ulysses

I have a lot of stuff to read. And thinking about all the stuff I have to read while reading is messing up my focus.

How do I stop being a retard?

>>21539486
That's a fair enough answer. I guess I phrased it awkwardly but all I meant was what books do you find yourself revisiting the most out of everything you have read. Kind of like how you'd keep re-opening a book of aphorisms every now and again.

>>21537779
What do you do now?

>>21537805
>The loss of productivity is more than made up for by the cheap price of their labor.

Then why hire any Germans at all?

Looking back on the last 4 years or so. Something happened in 2021 that left me feeling like a husk. Like all my interest, curiosity, personality, sociability and excitement just kind of died. I think it's because it was the 2nd year of the pandemic and all that time isolated and wasting away finally got the best of me. 2022 felt like a recovery year, but I feel like there's this permanent damage done. I'm kind of pissed off about it.

>>21539228
This shit is basically the Y2K millenial core list of classic video games, not that I'm complaining. In fact, I'm kinda glad someone recognizes games from wheb games weren't mostly garbage.

>>21539288
I's also add Muramasa: The Demon Blade on the Wii or PS Vita. The gameplay is very simplistic (2D Devil's May Cry that works with some light crafting mechanics), but the story and the art are the primary reasons you enjoy the game and play through it. It's great.

>>21539314
Yeah, I miss my small 3S crew back in undergrad. We used to play that shit 3 tikes a week for 3 years. I was a fucking master with Ryu and Makoto, but also played Elena and Ibuki alot because they were cuties. Soulcalibur 2 and 3 were also games I loved to play with others. I tried to get some "friends" into the game but they fucking played Smash Ultimate like absolute plebs. It's also helps to realize that I hung out with other millenials that were 2-6 years older than me (some of them were grad students in the CS department) in undergrad and that I tried to play 3S with zoomers. Needless to say, I miss my old Wrecking Balls crew (that's what we called ourselves) a fucking lot. There's just something wrong with most zoomers to the point that they can't appreciate beautiful things.

I can’t even read anymore. I can’t focus. I’m constantly in existential thought. I can’t get lost in a story. It doesn’t work anymore. I’m so mentally ill. Idk what to do.

I would like to thank this site for memeing me into suspecting that half the women who match with me on dating apps are secretly transexuals. It doesn’t help that these apps are full of trans people and I am a somewhat paranoid person.

>>21537216
Yes I have felt attractive for most of my life.

AI art and writing reminds me of the people in 1984 who got paid not to write pornography but to operate the machinery that wrote it algorithmically.

>>21537216
Other people make it hard to ignore. Their eyes go wide, or they freeze up or they look as if they’re about to pounce. I’m just a fuck up that’s fallen for some other guys wife though, maybe one day I’ll actually capitalize on it for anything meaningful.

I despise almost everything, which is why I like Nabokov

>>21540032
I despise you which is why... I don't like you? I dunno

How do I grok C-command?

What kinds of career opportunities do I have with a philosophy degree?

>>21540077
McDonald's

>>21540088
Fuck.

>>21540077
Yes, I'd like fries with that.

>>21540103
You could also become a philosophy professor, but the position is extremely competitive and you will likely need a master's or above. You will also get paid about the same as a fast food wagie.
An acquaintance of mine got a PhD in literature as a woman and even with their accelerated employment program for Women and Minorities she still has to get a job as a grocery store cashier. Such is life in the humanities.

>>21540108
WHY would you like fries with that? What exactly is the nature of desire?

>>21540112
just imagine the confusion on a customerxs face if you asked them that at the drive through lmao

>>21537216
I think I’m fine, I’ll find someone who is equal to my own attractiveness naturally.

>>21540112
Endorphins, or mimetics, or both

>>21540112
Distraction

>>21540110
Honestly I just wanted to teach high school but I'm now fjnding out that a teaching credential is a two yeat program andthat Id also need a Master's if I wanted to make any meaningful money. If I were 18 this would be okay but the fucking pandemic set me back 3 years. I'm 24 and only halfway done with my bachelor's. I'll be 30 before I can have a fucking career. I'm so pissed it's unreal. If it weren't for the pandemic I could have had my bachelor's a year ago and be working on post graduate stuff right now. The architects of the pandemic all need to be put on trial.

>>21540103
If you're not going to grind to be a professor the next best thing is probably a compsci+philosophy double major, and look into computational philosophy. Basically adding compsci to anything will be good for careers.

Say what you will about videogames, the music from them is unironically fantastic in a lot of cases, surprisingly so.

>>21540151
Thanks for rhe advice. Ive taken a few symbolic logic courses and it comes naturally to me. Might just get into it.

What makes life worth it for you anon?

>>21537216
Nope. I have a decent physique which is enough to get laid if I really want but finding a truly high quality gf to dedicate myself to is impossible because even if they are willing to deal with my mediocre face I am also ugly on the inside so if she's really a decent person she'll turn tail when we get to know eachother.

F.E.A.R

False Evidence Appearing True

>>21540267
underrated movie

Thin crust pizza
Buffalo sauce instead of marinara
Jalapeños
Pineapples
Sausage

RIP Jay Briscoe

Mods, why did you delete my hegel thread? Are you CIA? FBI? Inner School?

I hate the way I look.

>>21540162
I don’t really think life can be worth it or not worth it.

>>21540157
I agree. The most recent one that impressed me was Nier:Automata.

>>21540077
Plenty of military and government jobs that don’t care what your degree is.

>>21539747
I can sympathize. I’ve been like this for the last year or so.

>>21539022
I’ve just had this low level anxiety for the last year for basically no reason.

>>21538647

Well if it wasnt for my wife then girlfriend i would probably have killed myself, and seeing our freshly born daughter made me cry for the first time in like 15 years. Also it fueled a new found motivation to be the best version of myself, and a great dad to give her a better childhood than mine.

True love settled in after 3 years or so of relationship, its hard to describe but before it was still this freshly fluttery feeling of two young people just wanting to fuck a lot and really being into each other before it got replaced by something "deeper".

True love does exist, but you probably dont have to be bitter and resent women, and as onions as it sounds treat them as equals. I really cant understand men who treat their wives/girlfriends as something lesser, because it would feel to me like i would train just another dog, that speaks, does the dishes and i can fuck

haha yeah baby you know what time it is!!
https://youtu.be/84osuu2wzuQ

I feel weird about having a foot fetish. I don’t know where it came from, and I feel like I just blew a fuse or something and now I have this strange sexual proclivity. I wasn’t always a footfag and a part of me resents that I am. I can’t particularly articulate what I find so alluring about them- but gosh dang it I do.

>>21540494
Wow, I'm really evil for sleeping with a married woman.

>apply for a transcriber for a government research group
>they don't mind taking freshers
>apply with my cv
>no call since my application a week back
Welp

Had another dream about a girl l loved many years ago.

Doesn't anyone find it odd that many of the wisest men are also the most dysfunctional? Despite the memes around how philosophers are weak, sickly, and childless, it's often the guys who had the shittiest lives that impress me the most. Like when reading Schopenhauer I have to stop every other page and take it in because what he's saying is so obviously true, it's something I've always felt but couldn't ever put into words. What he writes about writing here mirrors my experience with music creation to a tee.

It just seems so backwards. Why would a man who failed at normal life be so great at understanding it? It really bedevils the mind...

>>21540678
Those outside the belly of the beast can see it for what it is. That's why outcasts and such are more likely to be extreme.

ΔΔ
ΔΔ

>>21540465
As someone who had cystic acne until very recently, I can relate.

>>21540499
Why wont you watch Ginger Snaps 2

>>21540678
When life doesnt come easy you have no choice but to really justify it to keep on

>>21537113
I want to ban and burn all of marx and engel's works and notes

Got this new retail job. All the time I have coworkers asking me to cover their shifts. Like, I dont want your hours, I have my own life. But it sucks because they're obviously desperate and I feel like an ass hole for denying a desperate person.

>>21540590
I know that feel all too well.
>cant even get a job with extremely low requirements

>>21540814
Tell them no. Even if they think you are an asshole, you are entitled to your own lifre and you are entitled to be around those people you love and love you back. I'd only accept the extra hours if they are in dire straits and have something to do that is absolutely necessary that can't be put back.

I've been playing the wine or vape game. I find a playlist from a certain genre I like, and if it's a good song I drink my wine and if it's not good I vape.

>>21540913
Honestly one chick said she has to care for her sick mom and I still said no.

>>21540945
Damn bro you must be bored as fuck

>>21540994
https://youtu.be/JoMCip83GZ4

>>21537113
Gf is religious and we've been together for 3 years. Anyways she said that if I don't marry her she is going to pray to have me punished. She said it like a joke but I feel she was semi-serious about it

Is this a red flag cos for some reason I found it very attractive and told her I was going to marry her so I guess we are kind of engaged now lol. Is praying for others to be punished even allowed? Does it even work or does it get ignored because it's kind of malicious?

>>21541116
That's hot and I don't really think it's a red flag unless it's mixed with other behaviors

>>21541118
Nah not really. I think it's more cos of the fact we kiss lol

She knows I've had issues with sexual sin so she always stops things when it gets too heavy. She also heard about semen retention and thinks it's a good idea for me to do it. I've slept with other women in the past and she thinks my soul is divided amongst them. She says it's like Voldemort and how he divided his soul in multiple objects/horcuxes. She has this idea if I hold off my orgasm until the first time we are together it will break my soul ties with the other girls and be transfered to create one with her

>>21541128
She's fucking schizo; and that's a good thing.

Am I really supposed to read, watch lectures, train, and listen to audio books all day?
Is this truly what Marcus Aurelius wanted?

>>21541116
Its fine now but if you marry her, once you get older she will become unbearable, true to most women not just religious types, but religion roasties will be just worse.

>>21541128
Based schizo gf

>>21537280
I too have experienced this lately, although I didn't truly "belong" to the incel community cause I've fucked a couple of girls/women, I had pretty blackpilled view of them and was celibate for 2 years due to being almost repulsed by women. All the "rational" blackpill stuff sounded extra true and, well, "rational", because it helped me stay in that position.
Now I don't think such a position is inherently bad. Because being like that was what helped me heal. But

Any anons want to start a crowdfunding system for white anons, white victims of crime, and colored people that are well-spoken and disenfranchised? How would such a thing be accomplished?
There will need to be lots of long term interviewing, and due to the fact that anyone could scam, donations will have to be made directly to a crypto wallet from an anon that proves their whiteness (or posts a steam account showing they're a based black gaymer, or proof that they have a longstanding interest in traditionally white hobbies). We could also, as I said, peruse local news outlets and find white victims of crime and struggling middle class families in need of support.

>>21538131
perhaps she, being high quality as she is, can detect your insecurity regarding your looks and is instinctively trying to help you out of it using her very femininity.
Sadly you're not as high iq as her(actually, eq) if you use this awesome thing to devalue both her and her compliments in your mind.

>>21541272
>Any anons want to start a crowdfunding system for white anons
No

I keep running from emotional side of me.

>>21540575
>Wow, I'm really evil for sleeping with a married woman.

Only if you knew the husband (well), if not, its entirely on the woman. Might as well be you than somebody else

>>21541128

This is the funniest thing i heard all day, is america still that religious? Or is that an outlier?

>>21541370
America is extremely degenerate and that is a major outlier, but there are small parts of America that are extremely religious. So there are probably a few hundred thousand women like that mostly clustered into small religious communities and then some schizos roaming about the secular parts.

>>21537216
Im able to rate myself objectively and confidently say I have very beautiful features. Im average height and balding now(25yr old) but when I wear a hat or beanie I look 5 years younger and occasionally I get girls coming up to me to ask for my instagram. Its around this point I start sperging out because I hate women

>>21541375
All Americans corrupt all thought, philosophies and religions. This dumb whore thinks random ideas she go from Harry Potter have something to do with Christianity. This is relatively reasonable for an American.

>>21537113
Fuck guys. I've been semi dating a tranny and I don't know what I want to do with her. Even though she looks very feminine and passes I just dread the idea of someone finding out or eventually having to come clean to family and friends about her. Basically all of our dating has been confined to hanging out at her place where she gives me the full waifu experience when I'm there. I sometimes feel like I'm taking advantage of it all as I know she has a bit of an insecurity of most or nearly all guys not approving of the whole penis thing. Heck I haven't even gone there. Just hotdog or grind the ass at max and cum in her mouth.

I love her to bits but I don't know what to do. She's so easy to talk to and comforting to be with but I have a feeling a lot of that is from her being an X-Men so she knows part of my experience and where I'm coming from. Plus I know she loves me too. She's saying she's willing to continue on as we are but can this arrangement go on forever and truly work?

Like fuck, I've even told her my fantasy that even if I have a wife and kids that i still want to be with her and she said she will go along with it because she understands and loves me

>>21540459

>>21541445
you gay

>Ukraine’s first lady, Olena Zelenska, daubed teary eyes and pinched her nose in emotion minutes before attending a World Economic Forum session in Davos, Switzerland.
>“Another very sad day today — new losses,” she said.

>>21541445

Are you happy? Then stay with her

>>21537343
Amen brother.

Thinking about Christ long enough makes me emotional. I only really cry or get emotional when I reflect on Him. Especially when He said in His Father's house are many rooms.

When I sin I cannot but identify as being amongst those who flogged Him and spat on Him. Here I am getting upset about money or someone cutting me off and traffic and there He is on the Cross praying that the Father forgives those who persecuted Him, who mocked Him, who denied their own Messiah and now drove those nails into His hands and feet.

You really come to realise that outside of Him there is nothing. All the universe is meaningless of nothing in the Gospels actually came to pass. It's ironic, I don't want to betray Him, yet I continually betray Him. I don't know man, I really don't have the words to express how much He means to me and how dependent I am on Him. I cry out to Him every day because I honestly have no one else to turn to. I have friends and family but it's only Him who will never fail me and forsake me. I have and never will encounter such goodness. It's impossible to love as He loved yet He still calls us to that standard.

It is as St Porphyrios said
>This is the way we should see Christ. He is our friend, our brother; He is whatever is good and beautiful. He is everything. Yet, He is still a friend and He shouts it out, "You're my friends, don't you understand that? We're brothers. I'm not...I don't hold hell in my hands. I am not threatening you. I love you. I want you to enjoy life together with me.

>>21541478
That's Christ as Dionysus, the mild one that soothes, a drug that makes you forget the world.
Forgetting the world is another form of betrayal.
>outside of Him there is nothing
Everything is important, Christ came here to this earthly existence and took it all seriously. The struggle isn't something we get to ignore as "nothing". The good news is mercy and kindness sit behind everything but the wars still need to be fought. We will always sin, we can never walk the perfectly straight line. All our ideas and actions are approximations of something greater.

>>21541272
>Any anons want to start a crowdfunding system
For fat and stupid Americans? Fuck off

Maintaining a stable relationship with a beautiful woman who knows how gorgeous she really is must be impossible these days.

>>21541545
Any whites anywhere.

>>21541576
It's possible
I have a really, really fat dick
the rest is up to her to rationalize why she's addicted(stuff about me that's good and so on)

>>21541445
gayest shit I've ever read. do you not know that there are more than 3.5 billion women on the planet? why would you decide to settle with a mentally ill man? on a purely logical standpoint you can't even have kids in this situation and you're unwilling to come clean to your family AND FRIENDS, meaning you're living lies. not even considering the fact that you're a selfish pos ("I basically want a harem and a femboy gf, you in?") I wouldn't know where to start to understand what the fuck is wrong with you.

>>21541465
I'm not and I don't want to be

>>21541470
Well yeha I love her lots but I don't want to be out in public with her as an official gf or introduce her as such to anyone in case the truth comes out.

Plus I know I want kids etc which is what pains me. Personality wise she's like the perfect girl to me and she really pretty and has a nice body. But the dick you know. I don't even like her cumming facing me. Most I'll do is feel her body from behind and stuff but I'm not touching that shit and I tell her I don't want to feel or peripherally see her arm moving in a way like shes jacking it.

It borderline makes me feel abusive and there was I time I actually threatened to beat TF out of her if anyone I know finds out which I still feel so guilty about

>>21541598
somehow you're actually more of a faggot then a dude with a cock in his mouth, unbelievable

>>21541598
you gay

>>21541597
I didn't choose to fall in love with her, I just did. I always knew she's was trans and never had plans to be with one then the more time I spent and talked to her I semi forgot all about it

The mechanisms of a pyramid require an observer.
It does nothing when no one is looking.
Are there other machines like that which we aren't looking at?

>>21541598
Extremely fucking gay

What are good civil service careers in the United States that aren’t blow your brains out boring? Army? State Department?

>>21541617
Your first step on the long road to recovery is to cease calling him "her".

any advice on getting started with reading

only read 3 books in my life (20 000 miles under the sea, new count monte christo and witcher last wish)
during high school we had to read 20 books for finals to be tested from it, i just remembered what they were about from when teacher talked about them and remember parts of book we read at school but i can remember only small bits from what i actually read

is there way to remember more or will my memory became better more i read?
went to book store and ordered The Taming of the Shrew and Oedipus

>>21541697
just read fun books that you enjoy and mix in more difficult stuff. As you read more you start to learn syntopical reading where you are referencing other books you have read, while reading another one.

>>21537113
Every once in a while an unprovoked image of embrace will enter my mind and set my heart to palpitating. The feeling is so abrupt; my breath will stop in its tracks, my heart will skip, and a warmth will rush from chest towards my face. If this happens at night, the palpitations get so severe that I can neither lie on my left side nor sleep, and I am compelled to begin rationing my breaths to prevent rising chest pains.

>>21541682
Intelligence Support Activity

>>21537280
!remindMe 1 year

Yukio Mishima is an example of a Nietzschean ubermensch. Why? First we must look to Mishima's unique rejection of contemporary Japanese morality in favor of his own idiosyncratic form. Mishima had a unique concern, an obsession even, with beauty; not out of vanity, but out of the beauty itself. In Mishima's Runaway Angels, Dr. Jekyll sends a written note to Isao:
>Now, indeed, it is the beauty of danger rather than the danger of beauty that affects me with the utmost vividness, and there is nothing comical to me about youth. Probably this is because youth no longer has any claim on my self-awareness. When I consider all this for a moment, there is something frightening about it. My own enthusiasm, innocuous as it is for me, may well have the result of further stimulating your dangerous enthusiasm.
And how does this relate to our point?
>First, there are certain objects, such as bodies, whose beauty exists only by participation, instead of being inherent in the very essence of the subject. Such are beautiful in themselves, as is, for example, virtue. Indeed, the same bodies seem beautiful at one time, while at another they lack beauty; consequently, there is a great difference between being a body and being beautiful. What then is the principle whose presence in a body produces beauty therein? What is that element in the bodies which moves the spectator, and which attracts, fixes and charms his glances? This is the first problem to solve; for, on finding this principle, we shall use it as a means to resolve other questions.
But what is this? There was a writer in times past that wrote something, and although I don't remember what it said or what it meant, it must have had something to do with beauty. But that still doesn't explain why Mishima is an Ubermensch. I think the clearest answer is written here:
>We may, therefore, draw the conclusion that, just as the present Japanese development has been due to Aryan influence, so in the immemorial past an outside influence and an outside culture brought into existence the Japanese culture of that day. -Adolf HITLER, Mein Kampf
Japanese being honorary Aryans, likely because of their honorable bushido and the fact that they are Aryans:
>Hitler declared that the Chinese and Japanese peoples were honorary Aryans. -Unknown
Aryans are UBERMENACH. Because JAPANESE are ARYAn it's obvious to anyway that EVEN READS that that means they are Ubermesch. Interestingly, Ubermensch means superman, and I saw this pic related that proves Asians are Supermans aka Ubermann. There's lots of esoteric lore out there about this, I haven't read it yet but it proves that it's true. Anyone that read this would have known already.
I discovered this truth while in Baghdad(no relation) and I met a guy named Al Burt. I asked him what it meant in arabic and he said "I don't know I'm not an arab." why is your name Al Burt I asked but he never did tell me the answer. I killed him. Basically Zelda's ass.

>>21541445
This is bait

>>21541445
would you sucked her dick?

Disappointed with myself somewhat. Resolved to read more non-fiction and to actually rebuild my knowledge on philosophy (and dredge up the scant, puny entry level bullshit I had to learn in college). Decided the best way to do it, is to sort of.. uh stumble into it. And THEN actually build a structured reading list. Discovered E.M Cioran via some viral podcast that basically fed some pseud-ish nuggets of philosophy for casualfags. On the Heights of Despain is NOT challenging. The book is very lyrical. I resonate with a lot of the essays (in a shallow surface level way of someone who's been stagnating in a depressive rut for years). BUT I haven't been consistent with my readings. In 3 weeks, I finished 3 fiction novels and only barely managed to trudge forward in Ciroan's book. Fuck. Me.
In general, I am trying to change. And I suppose I am less frustrated with myself than I could be. And I am a little more productive than I usually am. And my ideas flow a little clearer (the one habit I have managed to maintain and uphold is writing every single day). And I am a little less confused, scatter-brained. And a little more organized (I have fallen for the self help, notion template jew. Alas I can never be the sort of spontaneous producer. I need endless to do lists and contingency plans to embark on ANYTHING lest I lose the thread and meander, case in point this post which turned into a blog post). But i need... I need real results. I need to change for good. I feel ancient at 24.

>>21541873
keep it up anon! :)

I had a dream where I was a in party with this girl called X (can't remember) Homu (probably a reference to Homura from Madoka, its been like a decade since I watched it but still), her sister and some of their friends.
She was flirting with me and I was doing so good she started showing me her panties through her leggings.
I had to pee so went to the bathroom and I realized I was in some kind of metro station. There were a lot of ads with her face and name. It seems a tv channel was releasing a sports show that week and she and her sister were the hosts.
Anyway I went back to the party and she started ignoring me, she went to the bath and I followed her and she kept ignoring me so I just wake up.

I had a dream where I was a in party with this girl called X (can't remember) Homu (probably a reference to Homura from Madoka, its been like a decade since I watched it but still), her sister and some of their friends. She was blonde and had really big blue eyes.
She was flirting with me and I was doing so good she started showing me her panties through her leggings.
I had to pee so went to the bathroom and I realized I was in some kind of metro station. There were a lot of ads with her face and name. It seems a tv channel was releasing a sports show that week and she and her sister were the hosts.
Anyway I went back to the party and she started ignoring me, she went to the bath and I followed her and she kept ignoring me so I just woke up

>>21541128
She’s basically right.

I want to die everyday. I never should have been born. I pray to Jesus but I am so alone in this world. I wish I could meet him. I haven't had a friend in 7 years. I have never stopped grieving since my dad left our family when I was four years old. I am a failure. My depression has destroyed me. Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the living God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

>>21537220
The only women that can truly love you is your mother.

>>21542050
my mum used to violently beat me and abuse me verbally haha

https://youtu.be/1VVj1zqbWpU

>>21542063
same fate as my gf's, she managed to get over it and even form a stable relationship with her mom.
Even if yours is too much of a cunt, I believe in you anon. If a woman can find a reason to live, so can you.

Every time I try to make positive changes people fall out with me.
The people in my life seem to prefer me to be untermensch, I suppose it stops them from self evaluating.
Rural life is comfy, I walked 10 miles today and saw nobody (I live on a national park) but the downside is I have no improoover bros, just my immediate friend circle of obese sheep farmers.

>>21542186
When people start changing they tend to get overly judgemental of their previous self, and as a result, of people surrounding their previous self.
Accept it, love it, grow from it. Whatever pains forced you to grow and change, maybe weren't enough for some random farmers, or they didn't even experience them in your fashion, so don't judge them to be untermensch, be an ubermensch and show them love and the Way.

>>21540808
you're like 180 years too late my man

>>21541445
THIS IS A FORMAL CHALLENGE TO ANYBODY to post a pic of trannies outside doing some stuff,
I refuse to accept that trannies pass beyond edited selfies,
they can be sexy, but in a gay way.

>>21542199
thanks anon, 48 hrs since my last cigarette and perhaps I am being awful

at this point i refuse to even consider the opinions of a man that has never engaged in physical fitness of any kind

>>21542217
that's great anon
being frustrated because your brain is going through nicotine withdrawal is not "being awful", stop being so hard on yourself.

>>21541727
Isn't that ex-military?

>>21542150
cheers mate

>>21541962
Even in your dreams you're a beta orbiter

>>21542148
Why the FUCK won't you watch Ginger Snaps 2?

Both of my older brothers claim to have been molested as children. What the fuck man. How do I deal with that? It freaks me out because I get this nagging fear that I was also molested but was either to young to remember or blocked it out somehow. Man I fucking hate my family.

4chan isn't different from normalfaggots, everyone is trying to be funny in front of others. One on one conversations are okay but as soon as people get into group everyone wants to get their dick sucked to prove how clever and funny they're.

This shit keeps me up at night man.

The biggest disadvantage of joining a university after early twenties is that you have to bear the most faggot shit that you have already experienced many years ago. It is not that tasks are hard, the hardest part is always human condition. Fuck man, i think that I just hate most people.

This shit keeps me up at night man.

Latest sexual fantasy is forking over the money for a private loge at the opera, bringing a woman who is into it, and eating and worshipping her pussy throughout an entire performance of Don Giovanni.

>>21542576
when you were like 5 years old and your parents were watching you play with toys and shit do you think they ever thought you'd say something like this as an adult???

>>21542654
NTA but they were saying stuff like that in front of me. All I wanted to do was play trains vs dinosaurs

>>21537113
Nofap day 11

>be secret and exult
>for of all things known
>that is most difficult
Magnificient.

My brother met a homosexual while in rehab. After rehab they moved in together. The homosexual is a typical homosexual: narcissistic, sociopathic, manipulative, abusive, unfaithful etc. He has been abusing my brother and recently went to jail for attemping to stab him. My brother for some retarded reason insists that he loves this deranged faggot and even thoufh he knows the fag hates him and uses him, he refuses to leave him even after the attempted murder incident. I honestly dont get it. I just dont get it. It doesnt make any sense.

>>21542746
>I honestly dont get it. I just dont get it. It doesnt make any sense.
Your brother is just like a typical woman, like the boys bad.

>>21542801
If he is the typical woman then the typical woman is fucking batshit insane

>>21542808
>the typical woman is fucking batshit insane
yes

uuhhhh mebros, i'm thinking we're back

If you ever attempted suicide or ever cried out to God to end your existence, you will always have a permanent scar on your psyche. You will never be the same and I’m not sure it’s possible to overcome.

>>21542851
>you will always have a permanent scar on your psyche.
Lol you should see my wrist

>>21542808
>typical woman is fucking batshit insane
that's very correct

>>21542906
Maybe celibacy is a gift from God

>>21537173
i can fix her

I believe that you shouldn't have to force yourself to be someone you're not in order to make relationships with people. If I have to be on my toes all the time and only act a certain way so someone will like me then I shouldn't bother, and if I get so anxious around someone that I can't act normal then it's futile.
Unfortunately I've never met anyone who actually enjoys being around me when I just act like myself. When I drop my act for a bit I inevitably get rejected and if I act truely to my values from the get go I find that others simply don't like me at all.
I'd love to meet someone I can drop my guard around, who I could act goofy and weird with and not worry about getting rejected for having a strange sense of humor, who would find something of worth in me.
If such a woman exists she's either a saint or a schizophrenic. Either way, I'll never meet her, and if I did I would screw it up somehow.

>>21541537
I think you misunderstand. What I meant is that if Christ is not the focus of your life and the end goal, then it is all for naught. Wars and conquests are indeed necessary but it is to be done in His Name.

>>21542941
>Maybe celibacy is a gift from God
For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

>>21543001
"The most common form of despair is not being who you are"
- Søren Kierkegaard

I read too slow. Heh. Too slow.

>>21543001
What does it mean to be yourself?

>>21543001
You want sympathy or some shit? Kys

What do most couples like about each other? I struggle to find girls with similar interests to me. I know they exist because I've met them before and even dated a few, a long time ago now admittedly. I know it's unreasonable to expect a partner to have 100% same tastes as you but I just get so bored talking to girls with whom I have no shared interests. I'm sure they find me boring too.

>>21543243
Concentrate on your interests and stop this /adv/ posting. This is literature board.

I am being called to offer my expertise, to heal a group of the wounded. The man who cries out for my aid is in for a shock when he realizes that he was at one time my therapist. I expect a thunderbolt, a cyclone, and for fate to draw the thread that binds us, to expose the intricate and all too invisible web that binds, to thrust order by way of horror down upon us at our meeting, even I who expect all of it, cannot stop fidgeting with excess adrenaline, I know that somehow I was pushed to become this, modeled by God, as his own clay, in preparation for this event, and it is not fear that radiates through my flesh but exhilaration, faith, and triumph. I grow wild with anticipation, I know. I know. I SEE IT!

boy howdy it's going to be something.

What did he mean by this?

Yo what happened to Wikipedia. It looks like crap now.

>>21537113
>Congressperson
>Townspersons
>Businessperson
God I hate this new trend so much, it feels so stunted and awkward to say. Maybe it's because I speak German and Swedish too, but I hate the exclusion of "man" and the intrusion of this NASTY Etruscan derived word into English.
Unfortunately, I see it in official publications nowadays. Yuck!

>>21543467
>>21543467
>>21543467
>>21543467
>>21543467

>>21541598
if you want to be a homosexual then be one, if you don't and instead want a real family then dump the tranny. pretty simple