/lit/ - Literature

Lol, saged when I meant to noko.

The first and third parts of The Sound and the Fury get me right in the gut.

>>2871715
what

Go ahead and post it.

A few notes before we begin, I'm kind of new to writing, so don't expect any epic material or even decent structure. second, I know the name is shit, I just haven't decided on a really good one yet.

-------------------------------------------------------
A Demon's Intent


Chapter 1: Initial Trials

The floor of the bathroom was soaked with warm water as Drais stepped out of the shower. He quickly grabbed his towel, wrapping it around himself in a futile attempt to keep warm as he made his way to his room. Or, at least started to, anyways, for as he made his way to his bed room through the living room, he was met with the grinning face of a certain horned teen and a loud "BOO!" Drais' grip on the abrasive fabric around his waist roused, and the towel fell to the carpet, leaving him nude as he stumbled backwards onto the couch, gasping in fear.


1/?

Keleldran had been hiding just off in the hallway and surprised the other teen. Drais brushed his black hair out of his eyes and spoke through gasps, "I... am gonna... kill you. What the hell are you doing?! I need to get ready for school!" The demon leaped upon Drais, straddling him before he could get away and forcing their bodies together. "Aww, who needs boring school when you can stay home and... have fun,..." Kel spoke softly into Drais' ear. He rarely ever wore clothing, so he had no problems rubbing his rather large package against Drais' belly, apparently trying to entice him. "C'mon, Drais, pity me here,... I need a little attention,..." He said with faux sadness.

2/?

"Forget it, Kel. I'm not fucking with you. Now get off me, I-" Drais was interrupted. "Really? It's 7:30 in the morning and you two are already at it? Geez, you kids,.." Kel grinned deviously and said "Hey mister V, good morning!" but he was quickly cut off by Drais, "We aren't at anything, Dad. in fact, I was just on my way to my room,..." He nudged Kel off to the side of him, and Kel sat cross-legged on the couch, looking all pouty. Drais stood up and quickly placed the towel back around his hips before heading to his room to get dressed.

Just use pastebin or upload the document somewhere.
/lit/ is slow enough that a bump every several hours will easily keep you on the front page.

Mostly because your formatting is terrible.
Which may be a reflection on the poster.

>>2871750
3/?

Varic, Drais' father, whose hair was snow white in contrast to his son's pitch black hair, Idly suggested "You know, Kel, if you're really trying to get in Drais' pants, you might what to go at it in a less slutty fashion,... or at least when he doesn't have to be at school in like, 30 minutes,..."

Kel pondered for a few moments, before twisting around on the couch to view the older male as Varic made 3 bowls of cereal for each of them, leaving a bowl for Kel lacking milk. "Did... Did you really just give me advice on how to lay your son...?" He was genuinely confused, and Varic casually answered. "Well, yeah, I did. It does sound weird, but I think everybody should eventually get what they want, within reason,... And it seems to me like you really want him, so,..."

4/?

>>2871753
I completely forgot about pastebin... thanksbro

>A reflection on the poster

I know, I'm awful
>mfw

/b/ pls go

Why does it put a whole line between every line of text? is it because of Notepad, or am I just a complete faggot?

>>2871783
It's probably something in the Notepad linebreaks, just delete them on pastebin.

Take your time.

what is this why is this here

>>2871787
Thank you kind anon

Aaaaand done. hope y'all like it

http://pastebin.com/G1MdJzMS

I think the particular kind of demon you're writing about is an incubus, anon.

>>2871825

I actually made up a whole backstory thingy involving demons and gods and stuff. it's kinda lengthy, but yeah, essentially Keleldran is an incubus.

>>2871810
It's not awful, you're using words you do not yet master so stick to what you now and feel comfortable with in your descriptions. You can also remove almost all suspension points in your text, they're mostly useless.

>>2871836
I always imagine them as stammering or just a momentary pause. are they a big deal?

Either way, thanks for the advice anon

>>2871840
>I always imagine them as stammering or just a momentary pause
Try using words to convey these moments.
>are they a big deal?
Yes and they should not be overused. Makes you look lazy and inept.

>>2871846
>Try using words to convey these moments.
>Use words to convey a lack of words.

I'm afraid I don't quite understand. but then again, I am inexperienced.

>>2871855
>he paused
>he hesitated
>he was at a loss for fucking words

>>2871863
Seems a little overly, compared to
>...

Just saying. I'll cut back on it.

>>2871710
OP... Isn't an incubus suppose to be fiending after vagina and succubus after penis?
What do you call gay sex demon....

Feel free to ignore the following if you are just trying to write porn for the sake of porn,

Why is this demon living with them?
Is this a normal occurrence?
Are others aware of him?
If he's a demon, why is he afraid of the father, why doesn't he just do what he wants?
Why does he have to resort to a dildo?
As a demon of lust, why is he some preoccupied with fidelity?

Aside from the mention of horns, what makes him a demon?
Any person could have done any of this so far.

2/10
As realistic a depictions of Incubus as Twilight is with its sparkling and glittering vampires.

>>2871871
Like I said, I made up a whole universe for it. He's a spiritual entity (Conjured into this reality through means I've not decided on yet) not a biblical demon.

>>2871871
>>2871882
Pic is relevant to gayness with underage bots.
May also involve demons.

>>2871882
>Biblical demon
Of which the Succubus and Incubus are not.

>>2871879
Mostly valid points.

>Why is this demon living with them?
To be answered later in the story

>Is this a normal occurrence?
No, planned on playing into this later

>Are others aware of him?
Again, later in the story

>If he's a demon, why is he afraid of the father, why doesn't he just do what he wants?
Because he's technically mortal in that plane of existence

Why does he have to resort to a dildo?
Because I made it so.

As a demon of lust, why is he some preoccupied with fidelity?
He was joking


Aside from the mention of horns, what makes him a demon?
I was considering doing a sort of "demonic puberty" where he turns red and all that cool stuff, but not sure if I wanna put that much overlyness into it

If you give up all the ass in the first day of a relationship, there's nothing to look forward to in a month.

Same thing goes for a story right? Thanks for giving it a chance I guess.

>>2871894
>Ignoring the point I made here:

>>2871882
>I made up a whole universe for it

It's fantasy. not reality. It's my creation. I do with it as I please. I don't plan on actually trying to publish this shit or anything. it's just a story I wrote in my personal time and decided to share

>>2871922
Are you this defensive on /b/?
No wonder you chose to be homosexual,
it must be a response to accepting how
you are butthurt by every little thing.

>>2871941
I'm not butthurt in the slightest. my butt is made of steel. I was just very clearly stating exactly what I meant to say. My bad if it came of as butthurt or defensive.

As for
>No wonder you chose to be homosexual

The reason I chose that is because men are more attractive to me than bloody loose bacon strips

>>2871955
>The reason I chose
>reason I chose
>I chose

Gee I guess all those televangelists were right.

>>2871955
>2012
>being concerned about genitalia
ISHYGDDT

>>2871967
Was just going along with mister "OMG SOMEONE SAID SOMETHING BETTER CALL THEM BUTTHURT"

>not being bisexual master race

>>2871969
Sorry I don't like vagina or the psychos they're usually attached to.

>>2871984

see

>>2871986

>>2871986
So do you like shemales then?
They don't have vaginas.
What about Buck Angel?
What about crossdressers/traps?
What about having your thread derailed?

>>2871955
Would you let me into your anus?
No kissing and cuddling though and it must be doggy and i will not let you anywhere near my anus nor will i suck your dick and i hope you look feminine.

>>2871993
>>2871993

>So do you like shemales then?
>They don't have vaginas.
Never actually met one or done anything with one, but they can be kinda attractive when portrayed in a manner that erects my jimmies

>What about Buck Angel?
Dafuq is that

>What about crossdressers/traps?
Fuck thems is hot.

>What about having your thread derailed?
>mfw

>>2871997
No.

>>2872005
>MFW

>>2872005
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buck_Angel

Use the power of google images as well.

>>2872019
>refer to what I said about Shemales

>>2872025
So a vagina on a "man" is ok?

>>2872034
To a much lesser degree. Kinda hypocritical, I know, but like I said. I've never met one to be able to give them that kind of chance. I've met women.

So it's safe to assume that no one liked the story, right?

>>2872065
No, it's only safe to assume that no one is posting about your story. Well, okay it's safe to assume that no one liked it, because no one likes anything that anyone ever posts on /lit/.

But yeah, discussion is pretty non-existent.
I guess you have no choice but to leave.

>>2872079
No no. I like it here. I think I'll stay.

>I was considering doing a sort of "demonic puberty" >where he turns red and all that cool stuff, but not sure if >I wanna put that much overlyness into it

Can a nigga get some feedback on this maybe?

bump

>>2872128
I'll tell you what I tell everyone.

It's shit, but keep writing.

Have a nice day.

>>2872305
uhh, Thank you?

bump before bed-ACHOO

Sorry. i'm allergic to alliteration-ACHOO

this is fucking terrible

please leave and never come back and stop using a tripcode for the sake of your other boards

>>2872666
SATAN HAS SPOKEN

ALL HAIL SATAN

>>2872669
You are boring and not welcome here.

>>2872671
You don't need to welcome me. I can make myself at home.

Oh, right. Satan told me to never come back. bye guys.

Why does everyone hate me? Do I suck that bad?

>>2872672
>>2872674
>>2872676
You done fucked up.
/lit/ will never not hate you.