/lit/ - Literature

"How many quarters are there in a football game?"

>>2992292

some idiot just asked me "what's the most idiotic question you've been personally asked?"

>>2992295
Cannot say I didn't see this coming. So I added the "personally."

>>2992236

>Learning about brain lateralization in biological psychology
>Teacher talks about hemispherectomies
>Friend asks, "So, what happens when your right side is removed?"
>I tell him about neuroplasticity, and how the left side compensates for the missing lobes and functions
>He thinks for a second, and then asks me what would happen if you then removed the other side
>He wasn't even joking

10th or 11th grade Biology class

We're talking about bird cloacas and other types of reproductive body parts and this guy who sits beside me asks me "why do girls piss out of their ass?" loud enough the entire class hears.

>be teaching a history class
>university level, but first years
>Anon, what's the deal with Hitler and Stalin, are they like brothers or something
>mfw
>mfw I saw another student writing it down in his notebook
>so I said yes, they were brothers.
>prettiest student laughed knowingly
>that was my last term teaching English in a university. The stupidity became depressing.

>>2992330
>implying you weren't curious in 10th grade

How old is a 10th grader? Britfag here.

>>2992339
>teaching in an English university.

The stupidity rubbed off. KNOW I CNAT RITE PROPPA

>>2992355
for US grade-to-age just add five onto the the grade number and most of the me you'll be right

5+10th grader=15 yo

>staring up at a fast food restaurant menu
>Im the only person in the restaurant besides the girl at the cash register
>not sure what i want to get so I keep looking
>girl is staring at me
>still looking at menu trying to decide between two things
>girl just staring at me anxiously
>girl asks "Do you know what you want?"

no you fucking bitch I would make you aware the moment I made my decision, this aint my first fuckin rodeo, you don't need to ask me.

>>2992389
Britfags will know who annoying it is when you go in Gregg's, stand back looking at the food, obviously considering what to get, and the pudgy, toothless little woman peering over the counter won't stop saying "yes, luv? what d'you want?"

>>2992402
*how

in HS biology class
talking about color blindness
tell the people surrounding me I am color blind
dumb bitch next to me asks if I only see in black and white

>>2992456

So? Total color-blindness is a real thing.

>>2992402
initially read 'peering' as 'peeing' and didn't think twice

>>2992339
>last term teaching
>implying you weren't fired for teaching lies

>>2992318
when you're talking about a brain that continues to function after one-half of it has been removed, it already comes across as weird, theoretical, sci-fi stuff, to someone who's not spent time researching the subject. he might've wondered how far you can go. also, he may've assumed that there is some central part of the brain, not included in either hemisphere, which remains intact in the event of a double-hemispherectomy & which can handle all the functions needed to sustain life. not everyone's a brainiac on the nerd patrol, with both parents Ph.D.'s like you, who were proficient on violin by age 5.

>>2992389
i sometimes take a long, leisurely look over the menu & pregnant pause before deciding, when they pull that shit (unless there's a line behind me).

>>2992456
lol she didn't know the exact medical details of color blindedness
>bitches laughing dot jpeg

>>2992527

>implying you weren't fired for teaching lies

>not knowing that trolling students is an academic tradition as old as shagging them.

If they're stupid enough to take everything you say at face value, you're allowed to put them to the sword.

I left of my own free will.

>writing with my left hand
>"are you left handed?"

>>2992934
To be fair, that's technically a stupid question but most of the times it is simply a conversational question so that you will extend on the subject or change to another. Unless of course you're autismal. Oh yes... this is 4chan. I get asked that a lot.

I work at Barnes&Noble.
I had a roughly 40-year-old woman come up to me and fucking ask:
"What's the difference between fiction and non-fiction?"
Not even embarrassed or anything. Just totally cool with the fact that she's a complete fucking idiot. I seriously thought she was joking at first and kind of smiled/laughed but she just stood there expectantly and I felt myself die inside as I realized she really didn't know.
I told her that fiction is fictional, as in, made up, and non-fiction is not.

>>2992956
I was that old lady you dumbass. I was testing your knowledge on the debate about the limits of the fictional and the real, Baudrillard et al. Needless to say, you failed terribly.

>>2992963
That would be pretty incredible, but is most likely not the case.

"will we ever get to the point once enough people have died that all the world will be graveyards and we won't have any space left?"

>>2992527

>he may've assumed that there is some central part of the brain, not included in either hemisphere, which remains intact in the event of a double-hemispherectomy & which can handle all the functions needed to sustain life

Holy shit, is that you Clint? If it is, then you know how fucking stupid it was. If not, then stop making excuses. It is common knowledge that the brain is split into left and right hemispheres. Thinking that the corpus callosum could take over executive fuctions or imagining some mythical central hemisphere that could do the work of two sections is retarded. Rectum in teeth, nibbling your own shit level retarded.
And yes, everyone should be a brainiac on nerd patrol, with both parents Ph.D.'s like me, who was proficient on Banjo by age 5.

"is the Loch Ness monster real?"

Asked of me in a meeting during a hostile audit of a US company in Chicago when I worked for one of the Lloyds insurers. The asker was a main lawyer for the company we were auditing, not a small company either it was a US Insurance giant who we took for nearly half a mil lol. Good days, good days.

>>2992339

I was in a philosophy tutorial once and on one of the slides the tutor had written 'We found the Cassandra diamond, but nobody believed they were missing anyway.'

I laughed, everyone looked strangely at me and he kept a straight face. The shame.

I was talking to a hot chick and she ask me if I was gay.

>>2993012
Do you understand what a question is?

>I don't recognise this food ... let's ask the waiter.
>Excuse me, sir. What is this?

It was a carrot.

>Americans

>>2993035
>I was talking to a hot chick and she ask me if I was gay.

I know that feel. I made the mistake of bleaching my hair during my first year of uni. For the next two weeks I had loads of girls coming up and talking to me, whether I was standing outside my lecture hall, or outside of a club smoking. I loved the attention, and thought bleaching my hair was the best decision I ever made. When I was told that they though I was gay I was devastated and shaved my head. People now thought I had cancer, but I guess that was an improvement.

>be 2nd year psych student
>discussing course with friend
>"oh you do psychology? what am i thinking right now?"

almost cried

>>2993085
Oh man, I have a psych degree and I've gotten that a few times.

>being proud of yourselves when somebody asks a question that you happen to consider obvious.

What miserably, shitty lives you guys lead.

>>2992934
You could have been ambidextrous.

>>2992989
>bitches don't know about my pineal gland

>>2992934
I'm left-handed but i write with my right because i got punished for writing with my left in my formative years.

>>2993127
Shit, forgot my picture.

>>2993130
DEVIL CHILD

>>2993136
Well technically since The Devil sold his soul to Michael Gira to get on the action of The Seer

I guess I'm Gira's child now

Do you guys have electricity in Switzerland?

I said no. Actually had them convinced for a few weeks that we just discovered fire at some point in the middle of last century. Americans...

>>2993211
Sometimes I get the idea that it's some kind of huge ruse, that they're trying to convince the entire world they're ignorant so that they can complete their evil plans free of suspicion.

>>2993211
>tfw you're Dutch and an Amerifriend asks you if "Holland" isn't that country "near Amsterdam".

>>2993237
Well, if you talk to some Amsterdammers that's almost what you start to believe.

>>2993243
Why's that? Because of the Manhattanite like self-importance?

>>2993246
Exactly.

>>2993260
I think that's an attitude most capital/largest metropolis of the country dwellers have. Parisians are notorious for it, for example. I'm sure you encounter the same behaviour in places like London or Rome or something.

>>2993263
Probably true, but I wonder about Rome, because the most economically advanced part of Italy is the North, so Milan is more likely to hold that role, I think.

>>2993264
From what I know of Italians they probably all hold that fucking role.

>>2993272
Hehe.

>So, then, what would happen if I, like, typed google INTO google?

>>2993277
>not knowing that the internet would explode

>>2992956
Reading that made me hurt.
It caused me actual fucking physical pain.

>>2992984
Interesting thought, but still pretty stupid.

>>2993083
fucking lol'd

>>2993263

London does have it.

In a first year history class at a university.

"what's the holocaust?"

>>2993377

a holocaust can refer to mutiple things

>>2993264
It's the Venetians, man. Milan sort of, but Venice combines that self-centered metropolitanism with an active independence movement, so they are the most insufferable.

>So you believe a bacteria turned into people?

>Don't you mean the moon revolves around the Sun?

>I like a bit of Hip-hop
>Like Flo Rida?

>>2992402
Well Im a Britfag and I wouldn't know because i'm not an imbecile enough to go into 'Greggs'

>>2993384
No, goyim. How can you forget the 6 trillion?

"Are you goinna eat that?"

"Wow, you're *actually* interested in that?"

in regards to philosophy and history

>friend comes over to my place to study (p.s. I am Indian)
>sees sister's acoustic guitar, gets all worked up("I jus LOVE guitar music!!11")
>asks me where does the "wire" go in
>me: what wire??
>friend: y'know, for the speakers?

mfw

>>2993344
>>2993272
>>2993264
>>2993263
>>2993260
>>2993246

Yes, but there's a good reason that way of thinking exists. I've grown up and lived in London most of my life; I stayed in Norwich for a month and came across an inbred group of people giggling about where they would get their next Deathly Hallows tattoo. I lived in Prague for a short while and found a beautiful city with dead eyed inhabitants clinging on to the past and a fierce xenophobia towards Russians. I've had similar experiences in Ireland and Japan.

Sure big cities have plenty of stupid lazy arrogant fucks, but they also have have a higher concentration of citizens who are more intelligent, cultured and open to new ideas than their counterparts in the less central areas of their respective countries.

tl;dr the arrogance is justified I genuinely don't get on well with most small town weirdos

>>2993474
You haven't understood shit in life, eh?

>>2992989
>admits that there is a central part of the brainc alled the corpus callosum, not anatomically considered to be part of either hemisphere
>thinks it's common knowledge as far as what that half of the brain could/could not do
you are the worst kind of scum, because you make everyone in academia look bad when you go around expecting layfolk to have esoteric knowledge of the functions of different parts of the brain. i don't go around saying that it's fucking obvious that the square root of 2 is an irrational number, and deriding random guys taking a math class for their non-math major who don'tk now that right off the bat, even though within my field, it's considered to be fucking obviouser than my big-ass dick. you might have a twenty-seven million on your SATs, but you have a lot to learn about basic human interactions.

>>2993644
why bother trying to put some sense in his head? he'll just call you a faggot anyway.

>>2993644
oh, the other part is that you apparently can't read, because even though I prefaced my bit with the phrase "he may've assumed..." you apparently read that as "I assume," and so I'm guessing you're one of these xkcd fanboise who thinks the humanities is a worthless field compared to biological sciences, but can't into reading comprehension worth a denari. it wasn't my own fucking belief you goddamn moron, i'm just saying that somebody without intimate knowledge of brain anatomy might think that the hemispheres don't constitute 100% of the brain.

>>2993502

You're a small town weirdo, aren't you?

>>2993097
this. i bet every single one of you is no more intelligent than the average person.

>Did you know that if you don't believe in God, you'll go to hell?

>>2994220
"Yet even the demons believe, and quiver".