/lit/ - Literature

I laughed, but sage

stop teasing the poor Iranian lad

>>3567162
10/10

Haha suck it Ahkmed

>>3567162
HAHAHA
10/10 OP

I chuckled

A+++++, would laugh again.

Please scan it anyway please OP. You're a funny guy.

>>3567186
>Please scan it anyway please OP
Anon, that would be illegal.

11/10 OP

nice.

best thread on /lit/ in months, seriously though scan that shit nigger

Iranman getting rekt itt.

Today, that spammer read nothing.

>>3567240
No, that really would be mean.

Today, I will upload the full contents pages.

>>3567261

This is great, OP.
>my sides

I'm taking a screenshot.

>>3567265
Its happening.jpg

Is this book any good? I almost feel obligated to buy it after seeing it here constantly.

Oh holy shit, thank you for this thread. It made my day.

>>3567265
At least finish the acknowledgements, you sadistic fuck.

>>3567265
>scanning two pages at a time
>not one page per slide

don't waste our time.

>>3567296
What's wrong with that? It's easier to scan two pages, then crop them for OCR.

>>3567162

i am a infrequent visitor of this board, but every time i see a daniil kharms thread
is it like a /lit/-meme? what is it about? what makes him so special?

>>3567302
i cant read two page pdfs on my kindle

c'mon, anon, one page crops at a time, that's the rule.

>>3567305
An Iranian guy comes on this board all the time asking for a PDF of this book. He's been doing it for months.

>>3567275
>feel obligated to buy it after seeing it here constantly

Welcome to the new literature marketing model. Shout out to Tao Lin, Laurie Penny, and John Williams!

>>3567309
>i cant read two page pdfs on my kindle
I wasn't going to just turn the jpegs into a pdf. I was going to OCR everything once it's scanned, and turn the text into a separate clean pdf and epub.

It's much easier for me to scan two pages, and crop them as I OCR them. The book is 280 pages so that's 140 scans. I'm only posting the jpgs here to tease Iranman.

>>3567319
>John Williams
He died ten years ago.

>>3567337
Well, John William's publisher then.

>>3567335
Post your photo. You'll be hailed as /lit/ King

(That epub. sounds really goon anon)

Requesting sticky

>>3567194
>English translation copyright 2007 by Matvei Yankelevich
By Jove you're right! Well, I guess we'll see you in probably over 100 years then, when the copyright finally runs out.

>>3567335
I like your style.

OP, DO NOT do this. You are sending out the wrong message. People can't just beg for things and expect to get them.

>>3567393
That was not nearly long or tedious enough to convince anyone, ghost of Ayn Rand.

>>3567399
10/10
It was incredible how Ayn Rand's ghost could write so few sentences though, usually her reply would be a minimum 1000 page monster

There is great joy in my heart. You're a mensch, OP.

>>3567393
Yeah but everyone wants it now. I've searched for it online to no avail.

/lit/, you all realize that we must never read this book, right? If we do, it'll lost its mystique, and the contents will likely not be worth that price.

>>3567436
>you all realize that we must never read this book
Get out.

>>3567436
This. Today I Wrote Nothing must always remain /lit/s unobtainable desire. Our 'tfw no Russian absurd surrealist'. To read it will kill it.

OP, you must burn your copy. For the sake of the board, burn it.

>>3567451
>>3567436
why is it unobtainable? It's for sale on fucking barnes and noble

I love you

>>3567502
Too soon, he hasn't posted it yet

>>3567498
The guy that always asks for it is Iranian and can't get it in his country.

>>3567498
No free ebook anywhere of it

>>3567498
Fucking Americans, always thinking every country is like their mess of a shithole.

OP your work will bring happiness and joy all over the world!

>>3567162
10/10, OP

Now seriously, finish it and send us the ePub.

>>3567527
>you gotta shit country!
>Mine's so great we have theocratic encroachment to the point where I can't buy a book of some fuckbag mumbling about shit for 200 pages!

>>3567551
>implying i am Iranman, and not just from one of the other 190 countries out there, who don't have english as their first language

It the scanning hard work?

>>3567627
Doubt it. All you have to do is turn the page and click scan again. I imagine the OCR shit is fairly hard, as the text recognition shit fucks up.

>mfw I already scanned this piece of shit
>mfw I might actually get around to making the pdf to fuck with OP

>>3567760
This thread must be annoying the hell out of you.

>>3567760
I think OP stopped posting here: >>3567335
About 2 and a half hours ago. He had 140 pages to scan then, and has probably finished it now.

The race is on between you to see who can make the pdf first.

>>3567777

Pass.
I'll just work on something else instead.

>>3567789
Any other fine book you intend on scanning? This would be the moment

>>3567794

I have some other books I'm putting the finishing touches on.
I'll probably do some Adolfo Bioy Casares and Dino Buzzati next.

>>3567794
/r/ing a scan of Dirty Havana Trilogy by Pedro Juan Gutierrez. Someone posted a photo of the book and started a 'thank you thread' with it. There isn't an English e-book of it yet, and I really want to read it.

I'm waiting since the Thread began to see if we may actually witness the appearance of this Book.

I have a PDF of Ernst Junger "On The Marble Cliffs", posted by a fellow /lit/erary. If anyone wants it

Goddamn. When did /lit/ become so mendicant? No wonder most of you faggots are welfare NEETs,

>>3567805
>There isn't an English e-book of it yet, and I really want to read it.
Buy it.

>>3567859
>most of you faggots are welfare NEETs,
Sir, there is nothing wrong with being a welfare NEET.

>>3567861
I can't. I live in Turkmenistan, and the dictatorship here doesn't allow Amazon delivery. The only way I can get it is by some kind Anon scanning it for the /lit/ community.

>>3567872
Just join anonymous and hack the government.

>>3567870
>Sir, there is nothing wrong with being a welfare NEET.

It's nice that you think that, dear.

>>3567899
Your jealousy is showing.

>>3567872
>"It was estimated that in 2010 there were 80,400 internet users in Turkmenistan or roughly 1.6% of total population"

At least you have it easier then the rest of your shitty country.

>>3567958
Turkmenistan is under one of the strictest dictatorship in the world. It's even worse than North Korea. That 1.6% will be exclusively government officials and media outlets. The Big Brother government is controlled by one man, and he sets all laws, rules, economic structure, and makes bizarre decisions to suit his whims. For example, girls appearing on television cannot wear make up because he doesn't like it. There are solid gold statues of him set up and guarded, and he thinks he is some kind of emperor, and the world has failed to see his genius. He proposes elections for no reason other that to stroke his ego. If one person failed to vote for him, it would be an insult and they would be executed, but it doesn't even come to that – he 'proposes' an election, and you say 'there is no point; there could be no greater leader', so an election never happens.

It's a shame. There is no media acknowledgement, and this regime goes unnoticed by the entire world. All the other stans are fine, Kazakhstan, Tajikistan, Uzbekistan... And Turkmenistan will carry on like this until oil reserves run low, or the west stops getting cheap oil, and then Tukmenistan will be invaded like Iraq.

>>3567859
>Goddamn. When did /lit/ become so mendicant?
>not remembering wishlist threads
And welcome to /lit/

>>3567981
>There is no media acknowledgement, and this regime goes unnoticed by the entire world.

What can I say? Find some oil under the carpet of your country and maybe the USA will give a shit.

Or just make up a rumour that there is oil there, and maybe someone could be fooled into caring.

>>3567981
I guess if they said they were communists the world would consider them the most hateful and despicable Dictators in the world. As they don't, American just strolls on by...

>>3567824
If you see this I would like that PDF of On Marble Cliffs. Thanks!

>>3567981
I thought he died. Is the current ruler just as crazy?

>>3568022

>https://fuuka.warosu.org/lit/thread/S3365502

It should be in there.

>>3568030
Niyazov died in 2006, and was replaced by Berdimuhamedov, who is pretty much his clone. Berdi wasn't even allowed to be president, so he personally had the laws set down by Niyazov changed so he could be president. He's now going around having gold statues put up, and trying to be Niya. There is no difference except he is fatter.

The statues are only for public show. There are city pockets and then cities. The little pockets have amazing golden statues, and huge architectural buildings, and if any media comes to Turkmenistan, they are shown around one of the little pocket areas for them. They're not real, they are just to trick. Turkmenistan cities are horrible. They are basically cramped work camps under martial law. Most of the people live in these housing blocks, some live in rural villages – mud huts and basic farm buildings, and the government workers and media live in the fake pockets.

>>3568063
And what's your situation inside the country? How do you have access to the internet?

On the topic of short story collections and long desired ebooks, does anybody have "41 stories" by O'Henry?

>>3568063
Is there anything realistic anyone outside the country could do to help?

>>3568063
Judging by your fluency in english, your internet access, and your awareness of the true nature of your country I'm guessing that you're either a member of the government or the state controlled media. Does it bother you that you support a system that you despise or are you just trying to keep your head down and avoid being relegated to one of the slums?

>>3567194
>>3567261
>>3567265
>>3567335
C'mon, where is the book? Just zip the jpegs, and upload them to mediafire.

How's this going?

bump

OP?

OP is no dummy, he knows that as soon as he delivers he'll be forgotten. Keep it up OP, make that guy who keeps asking for a scan really beg for it.

What if this thread and all the other posts too were just part of an elaborate marketing strategy, attempting to get this book with only 3 reviews on amazon more sales.

>>3569309
>What if this thread and all the other posts too were just part of an elaborate marketing strategy, attempting to get this book with only 3 reviews on amazon more sales.

Sounds like a lot of work for too little reward. The pay they'd be giving to whoever you think is trying to viral-market this shit would outweigh the 4 or 5 gullible twats here who decided to buy it based on some zealous pinhead from Iran, or wherever.

>>3569313
>gullible twats
Have you ever read Daniil Kharms? Those "gullible twats" end up buying some great absurdist Russian literature. Today I Wrote Nothing is an awesome book. It's like discovering Kafka again except with a Russian slant.

>>3569331
Some of the stories in the book are just too weird but overall I agree with your assessment. I'm one of those gullible twats who bought it after seeing iranman's post.

>>3569331
>>3569340
More marketing doublespeak. Please leave /lit/ alone you Kharms hucksters.

This is the biggest cock tease on /lit/ since Nabokov.

10/10 OP

>>3569498
Nabokov frequented /lit/?

>>3569504
yes.

>http://bookos.org/book/1919781

Looks like a pretty shitty translation - but epub all the same...

OP when will you deliver

>>3567162
>I'm currently using my scanner as a display stand.

Let's hope your attitude towards this book will never change. May your scanner remain in this relaxed position.

Please post the book OP. Please

Hey, OP here... Yeah, I actually forgot to do it. The book is now scanned though, it just needs OCRing.

In the mean time, worry not, my fine-feathered friends, here is the next page for you.

>>3570003
You know what you must do. One day, one page.

Waiting for the sun

>>3567162
10/10 would laugh again

>>3570003
Can we have a few more pages while we wait?

>>3570003

can you speed up the process pls?

>>3567162

>I have this book by Daniil Kharms, and I'm currently using my scanner as a display stand

OP will not deliver. Haven't you morons learned that by now?

>>3570229

OP pls deliver

Calm your tits, guys, I'm OCRing now. I'm up to pic related (two very strange stories) which is page 57 of 287. It's taking a while because I have to crop every image into two sections, correct any OCR mistakes, and format the output with page numbers and metadata... and I'm busy doing other shit too.

OP needs a tripcode so he can forever be praised

>>3570280
inb4 it's Shitehawk

>>3570280
>tripcode
Seconded

>>3570279
I love you. I can't wait to start reading this.

>>3570279
Hah, those two stories are great. Really looking forward to this OP, thanks for taking the time.

>>3570285
No way would Suncock ever contribute something worthwhile.

>>3570389
This might still be full of typos.

I've just bought a copy of the book. This thread is pissing me off so I am going to scan it in and up it.

Living in Iran must be fucking hell, I at least want one person to get what they want/

>>3570279
I'm sorry I lost faith in you

>>3570453
Eli Eli lema sabachthani?

Olga Forsh went up to Aleksey Tolstoy and did something. Aleksey Tolstoy also did something.

At this point Konstantin Fedin and Valentin Stenich leapt outside and got down to looking for a suitable stone. They didn't find a stone but they found a spade. Konstantin Fedin cracked Olga Forsh one across the chops with this spade.

Then Aleksey Tolstoy stripped naked and, going out on to the Fontanka, began to neigh like a horse. Everyone said: "There goes a major contemporary writer, neighing." And nobody touched Aleksey Tolstoy.

>5deep8me

>>3570474
Thanks for reminding me I need to go watch that movie.

Why do you fags want this book so bad? And why is it banned in your various dictatorships?

>>3570603
It's one guy who makes daily threads.

>>3570622
I'm surprised he hasn't revealed himself in this thread. He's probably seen it already, and saved OPs images.

>>3570603
It's just really funny and incredible it's not yet available

While OP delivers (or admits he's not going to), here's what I have on Kharms. I said I'd post this on another thread, but nobody replied. Probably thought I was another troll trying to fuel the rustling.

http://www.mediafire.com/?x533f1sb4pja4hp

These are old translations. Obviously it's not the whole contents of the Today I Wrote Nothing book, but it's still a lot of stuff.

Enjoy.

>>3570603
It's banned because some of Kharms' stories could be considered "subversive". His work is absurdist and dictators don't like that.

>>3570832
missed that, thanks.

These threads just go to show you: if you want to get read, get banned.

Absolutely nothing ensures an eager audience quite like a ban does.

>>3570009
Please do this.

Can someone recommend me some good meta-fiction?

>>3570899
Don Quixote. No joke.

OP will be a legend if he delivers.

'Today I Wrote Nothing' is one of my favorite books. I read Daniil Kharms before the Iranian made him popular here.

I'm glad you guys are getting this book. You're about the discover the Russian Kafka. Enjoy /lit/.

>>3570932
I wouldn't compare him to Kafka since Kharms is more "weird". He's really great though, first time j read "Incidences" made me love his work. I'm surprised he's not more popular on here.

>>3570279
Holy shit, I have to read this now.

>>3570937
mahnigga.jpg

Incidences is the shit. Someone upload that next, I lost my copy!

>>3570937
>>3570950
>Incidences
Is that a novel or a collection of shorts?

>>3567451
>Today I Read Nothing

>>3570950
It's a book of short vignettes, some nonfiction. It'll keep you entertained.

>>3570959
>>3570983
Meant for you

>>3570959

collection of shorts. included in >>3570832

“Because of her excessive curiosity, an old lady fell out of the window and smashed into the ground.
Another old lady looked out of the window, staring down at the one who was smashed, but out of her excessive curiosity she also fell out of the window and smashed into the ground.
Then the third old lady fell out of the window, then the fourth did, then the fifth.
When the sixth old lady fell out of the window, I got bored watching them and went to Maltsev market where, they say, someone gave a woven shawl to a blind.”

>>3571015
A certain old woman, out of excessive curiosity, fell out of a window, plummeted to the ground, and was smashed to pieces.
Another old woman leaned out of the window and began looking at the remains of the first one, but she also, out of excessive curiosity, fell out of the window, plummeted to the ground and was smashed to pieces.
Then a third old woman plummeted from the window, then a fourth, then a fifth.
By the time a sixth old woman had plummeted down, I was fed up watching them, and went off to Mal'tsevisky Market where, it was said, a knitted shawl had been given to a certain blind man.

>>3571015
"An amazing thing happened to me- I suddenly forgot what comes first, 7 or 8.
I went to my neighbors and asked them what they thought of this.
What a surprise we got when they suddenly discovered that they, too, could not remember just how the numbers go. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 they could remember, but after that, they forgot.
We all went to the Food Town supermarket, the one on the corner of Banner and Basin Streets, and asked the checkout lady about our problem. The checkout lady smiled sadly, took a tiny hammer form her mouth, and twitched her nose. She said, “I think 7 comes after 8, as long as 8 comes after 7.”
We thanked the checkout and and ran happily from the store. But then as we thought about what she had said, we became depressed, because the words did not seem to mean anything.
What could we do? We went to the park and started to count the trees. But when we got to the sixth tree, we stopped and began to argue; some of us thought that 7 was next, and others thought 8 was next.
We argued for a very long time, but then by chance a little kid fell off a park swing and broke both jaws. So we forgot what we were arguing about.
Then we all went home.

>>3571015
I can't tell if this has been poorly translated or if it's supposed to look as though it's been poorly translated.

Can I say that having read some of this I'm not excited about getting it anymore.

>>3571029
That story is fucking brilliant. I can't wait to read this when OP is done. If he doesn't deliver I'm buying thr book.

>>3571029
>>3571035
Read that. You don't like it?

>>3571032
See:
>>3571015
>>3571024
They both look poorly translated.

>>3571042
Preponderence of non sequitar endings; like he's substituted the real last line with something unrelated. Falls flat

>>3571049
Yeah, I agree. I'm all for 'absurdist', avant-garde work but his endings seem like he's trying to be too clever or too random for his own good.

Can you imagine if he wrote a novel that ended with such a non sequitur.

"They call me the Capuchin. For that I'll tear the ears off whomsoever it may be necessary, but meanwhile I get no peace from the fame of Jean-Jacques Rousseau. Why did he have to know everything? How to swaddle infants and how to give young girls in marriage - I would also like to know everything. In fact I do know everything, except that I am not so sure of my theories. About infants, I certainly know that they should not be swaddled at all - they should be obliterated. For this I would establish a central pit in the city and would throw the infants into it. And so that the stench of decomposition should not come from the pit, it could be flooded every week with quicklime. Into the same pit I would also stick all Alsatian dogs. Now, about giving young girls in marriage. That, in my view, is even simpler: I would establish a public hall where, say, once a month all the youth would assemble. All of them between seventeen and thirty-five would have to strip naked and parade up and down the hall. If anyone fancied someone, then that pair would go off into a corner and there examine each other in detail. I forgot to say that they would all have to have a card hanging from the neck with their name, surname and address. Then, a letter could be sent to whomever was to someone's taste, to set up a more intimate acquaintance. Should any old man or woman intervene in these matters, I would propose killing them with an axe and dragging them off to the same place as the infants - to the central pit.

I would have written more of the knowledge within me, but unfortunately I have to go to the shop for tobacco. When walking on the street, I always take with me a thick knotty stick. I take it with me in order to batter any infants who may get under my feet. That must be why they called me the Capuchin. But just you wait, you swine, I'll skin your ears yet!"

Can anyone tell us how much wordplay is lost in translation?

>>3571029
>>3571024
These are both great.

>>3571102
probably a lot. From what I have seen it's still good, but I get the feeling that they would have to be read in Russian to really appreciate. They're so short that I think a lot of the brilliance would lie in subtle wordplay, and as (>>3571024) and (>>3571029) demonstrate, the translators aren't very competent. I don't know about OP's book though, hopefully that's better. There's thanks given to a lot of Russian sounding names, so maybe it'll all be okay.

Nobody actually enjoys this, right?

>>3571122
>Nobody actually enjoys this, right?
What, reading?

>>3571125
Specifically, >>3571015
>>3571024
and >>3571029

>>3571128
I liked them.

>>3571135
Why?

Don't know what everyone is still waiting for.
If this link >>3570832 has Incidences the you already have everything in Today I Wrote Nothing.

>>3571122
That's a stupid question. Obviously many people do, otherwise we wouldn't even be discussing Kharms in the first place. If no one enjoyed his writing then his creative work would be unheard of, much like yours is its safe to assume.

>>3571135
Same.
This one >>3571094 is magnificent.

>>3571150
Um my work is not unheard of. I won many writing awards in school

>>3571150
Man, we're discussing him because there's one Iranian dude making the same thread about him day after day.

>>3571135
>>3571141
To add, reminds me of things like Blue Jam and similar. Jumping:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEacGiMO3K0
Forgetting numbers (even if corny):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-mOy8VUEBk

>>3571153
That one is very good, almost Swiftian.

>>3567872
>I live in Turkmenistan
If you really lived in Turkmenistan, you'd have already read the book in the original Russian. Everybody in Turkmenistan speaks Russian. Even the American oil&gas expats.

>>3568090
He's trolling you, you dumbfuck.

>>3571180
>Everybody in Turkmenistan speaks Russian
"The official language of Turkmenistan is Turkmen, a Turkic language. Turkmen is closely related to Uzbek, Crimean Tatar, and other Turkic languages. Other languages spoken in Turkmenistan include Russian (12%), Uzbek (9%) and Dari (Persian)."

12% of the population isn't everybody (almost the same as the number of Americans who can speak Spanish). Turkmenistan doesn't even border Russia, and their one party system makes them different from the other countries who were once under soviet rule.

>>3571169
Type Daniil Kharms into google. Just because you spend all day on /lit/ doesn't make it the center of the universe.

It's a big world and other people like Kharms too, not just one Iranian.

Today, we learned about the country Turkmenistan. Tomorrow, Palau.

>>3571222
I don't read books. I spend all day on /lit/ fooling myself into believing that I'm going to read these books one day.

>>3571222
Kay, I just tried that, and I can find no evidence that the internet sensation of Kharms isn't all one Iranian guy.

>>3571217
Fuck you and your stats, Gary. Want a new pocket protector for your birthday? Hey everyone, Gary shoved his calculator up his ass again.

>>3571232
You didn't see his viral video 'Today I Vlogged Something?' 6 million hits and counting

>>3571122
>Nobody actually enjoys this, right?

>>3571150
>That's a stupid question. Obviously many people do, otherwise we wouldn't even be discussing Kharms in the first place.

This must be the same troll that starts all of the Ayn Rand and IJ threads

>>3567872
>claims to live in one of the worst shitholes in the world
>decides to spend his time begging for quirky absurdist literature on a weeaboo imageboard

>>3571232
Not thr guy you're replying to but here's a female reading Incidences by Daniil Kharms on a bus via google images. She is not an Iranian male in Iran.

There's your evidence retard.

>>3571254

>>3571253
What does that have to do with anything? You can't have an interest in books if you live in shitty countries?

>>3571257
>dfw no qtp2t subway gf with the soul of an Iranian man

>>3571254
>>3571257
What you can't see is Iranman just out of camera shot, after paying her ten bucks to pose for the picture. I'm on to you, Iranman. I know your game.

>>3571257
What if thats his gf

>>3571253
And? What's wrong with that?

>>3571261
I think most of us have to admit that, at a fundamental level, we connect to the soul of an Iranian man, and that is why we all want this book.

>>3571264
>>3571268
She's not in Iran. If he could leave Iran to stage this photo then why didn't he just pick up the book he's begging for while here in the states?

182 posts and 0 books. Click here to view.

>>3571270
WE ARE ALL IRANMAN

>>3571274
Why do you thing that's America? It looks more like the tube or metro to me. Anyway, maybe he did, and he had the book confiscated at customs.

>>3571270
Every moment a revelation does fall,
Descending upon souls from the heaven;
Come up, till when like dregs to stall?
Till when linger in the earth? till when?

Whoever is heavy of soul shall descend,
In the end he will sink like dregs to the base;
That wine shall soar to the cask's surface
Which is clear of dregs in pureness.

Stir not the mud, stir it not,
Till the water is clear of the stain;
Till your dregs are revealed,
Till your wound is healed of pain.

It is a soul like the torch alight
But the smoke is thicker than the radiance;
When the smoke swells beyond expanse
It won't show the house's brilliance.

Should you look into the muddy water,
You will see neither moon nor sun,
The sun and the moon are hidden
When darkness spreads in the heaven.

A northern breeze now blows,
Which purges and clarifies the air;
For the sake of this polishing at dawn
Zephyr breathes into the rose bower.

The breath issuing from the breast
Drives away from the breast the gloom;
Let a moment the breathing cease;
And it will bring death and doom.


The soul, a stranger to the earthly recess,
Yearns to return to the placeless;
Why does the soul continues to yearn
to graze like animal which is base?

O goodly spirit! O pure essence!
How long must you wander and hustle?
You are the king's falcon; hence,
Fly back to the king's whistle.

>>3571281
WE ARE ALL IRANMAN

>>3571283
Nope, he's never claimed that. It's america too.

>>3571292
WE ARE ALL IRANMAN

>>3571274
I'm thinking she went travelling a little, and he's been spamming here until she arrives back in Iran with the unconfiscated books.

>>3571302
Ahhh. Crafty Iranman is crafty. So he has sent out a girl to get the book? I think she probably started as a drug mule, smuggling that cheap heroin over to the States. I hope she manages to smuggle the book back to him.

Iranman, your struggle is our struggle.

tfw when no qt irianian ninja lady will attack you in a dark corner in the middle of the night on the way home

>>3571270
Hey, let's not turn this into a soul-searching thread. Or a violent Iranian demonstration.
>>3571281
>>3571292
>>3571301
Ah, shit.

>>3571317
My favorite Iranian

Where the fuck is he anyway, he'd love this thread

>>3571314
Doesn't that imply that Iranman is a government official involved with the poppy business?

>>3571320
He'll yeah, Persian girls all the way

Welp.

I guess I got cajoled into a chicanery...

>>3571321
It's pretty much his doing that this thread is here, and he seems to have disappeared.

She's gorgeous. Who is she?

>>3571333
>>3571317

>>3571327
Log out of mediafire, then log back in. It doesn't update download stats in realtime.

OP uploads the book, Iranman starts downloading it but before he finishes it he is arrested and executed by his government. Wouldn't that be absurd?

>>3571330
After the Iranian government caught wind of this thread, he was imprisoned and now awaits execution.

>>3571346
What would be more absurd is if the executioner, about to execute Iranman, but before he finishes is arrested and executed by his government.

>>3571346
>OP uploads the book

'Any last words?'
'Please.. sir,.. read the story about the woman falling out of a building. '

The executioner opens 'Today I Wrote Nothing'. He reads for a while. He looks at Iranman squarely.

'I will show a judge this book. Its fantastic. You will almost certainly be reprieved. '
Iranman looks up at him.
'Today you executed no one.'

They both laugh as the executioner unties Iranman's hands.

>>3571381

>>3571381
A beautiful post in a beautiful thread

WHERES THE FUKEN BOOK?

>>3571421
Agreed. This is /lit/ thread of the month.

>>3571259
>>3571269
Priorities.

"There's only one man I'd ever follow into battle, no matter the reason. That man is Daniil Kharms".
-Ernest Hemingway

>>3571518
nice one

>>3571498
So anyone who lives oppressed should spend 100% of their time devoted to the resistance? I know you're a troll, but let's be realistic.

Another mind-blowing short story from Daniil Kharms:

"On one occasion, a man went off to work and on the way he met another man who, having bought a loaf of Polish bread, was also on his way home. And that's all there is to it."

The things, by Daniil Kharms.

"Once Orlov had too many crushed beans and died. And Krylov died too, when he found out about Orlov. But Spridonov died of no reason. And Spridonov's wife fell off a kitchen cabinet and died too. Spridonov's children drowned in a pond. Meanwhile Spridonov's grandmother became an alcoholic and started whoring, while Mikhailov ceased combing his hair and got ill. And Kruglov sketched a lady with a whip and went mad. And Perehvostov received a wire for four hundred roubles and became so uptight that they killed him.

Good people are not capable of getting a foothold in life. "

>>3571550
I seriously can not wait to read this. This guy is like Kafka all over again for me buy weirder

>>3571550
>mind-blowing?

Are you being serious? Is it 2deep4me?

>>3571570
>Are you being serious? Is it 2deep4me?
It's a metaphor for the oppressive patriarchal structures. Here Kharms is showing his disdain for the institution of man – the first is being forced to work, and the second has even been shopping (thought to be the women's job, but even that task has bee removed from her). He then likens this struggle to the oppression of the Poles by the Nazi regime, 'a loaf of Polish bread'. Polish bread is traditionally 'leaven' bread, not the Jewish unleaven bread, so he is drawing the obvious parallel between the treatment of the Poles and the treatment of the Jews, and concluding that social structures are in a state of disrepair.

As well as this, we have the sinister overtones of the soviet mindset. We are told the men 'met', but are denied any access into their conversation. The soviet spies were keeping n eye on kharms – eventually dragging him off to a gulag where he died – and he is expressing this oppression, this need to keep things secretive. And that's all there is to it.

>>3571317
>tfw when no qt irianian ninja lady
>chuckle at calling her ninja lady because of the head covering
>open image
>ninjutsu

>my feel when no qt Iranian kunoichi

And I was having a good day.

>>3571620
not sure if funny satire or honest bullshit

>>3571620
Teach me how to psychoanalyze a text in a such extensive way as you do.

>>3571620

>>3571623
Those Iranian Ninja women are serious business. That's the qt on the right.

>>3571655

>>3571655

>>3571661
Me too brother, me too. I'm in love with those ninja gals.

Best thread on /lit/ in a while.

Anton Mikhailovich spat, said "yuck", spat again, said "yuck" again, spat again, said "yuck" again and left. To Hell with him. Instead, let me tell about Ilya Pavlovich.

Ilya Pavlovich was born in 1893 in Constantinople. When he was still a boy, they moved to St. Petersburg, and there he graduated from the German School on Kirchnaya Street. Then he worked in some shop; then he did something else; and when the Revolution began, he emigrated. Well, to Hell with him. Instead, let me tell about Anna Ignatievna.

But it is not so easy to tell you about Anna Ignatievna. Firstly, I know almost nothing about her, and secondly, I have just fallen of my chair, and have forgotten what I was about to say. So let me instead tell about myself.

I am tall, fairly intelligent; I dress prudently and tastefully; I don't bet on horses, but I like ladies. And the ladies don't mind me either. They like when I go down on them. Serafima Izmaylovna have invited me home several times, and Zinaida Yakovlevna also said that she was always glad to see me. But I was involved in a funny incident with Marina Petrovna, which I would like to tell about. A quite ordinary thing, but rather amusing. Because of me, Marina Petrovna lost all her hair - went bald like a baby's bottom. It happened like this: Once I went over to visit Marina Petrovna, and bang! she lost all her hair. And that's that.

>>3571629
Obviously funny satire.

An amazing thing happened to me today, I suddenly forgot what comes first; 7 or 8.
I went to my neigbors and asked them for their opinion on the matter.
Great was their and my amazement, when they suddenly discovered that they couldn't recall the counting order either. They remembered 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6, but forgot what came next.
We all went to a commercial grocery store, the one on the corner of Znamenskaya and Basseinaya street to consult a cashier on our predicament. The cashier gave us a sad smile, took a small hammer out of her mouth, and moving her nose slightly back and forth, she said:

- In my opinion, a seven comes after an eight, only if an eight comes after a seven.

We thanked the cashier and ran cheerfully out of the store. But there, thinking carefully about cashier's words, we got sad again because her words were void of any meaning.
What on earth were we supposed to do? We went to the Summer Garden and started counting the trees, but reaching a six in count, we stopped and started arguing: In the opinion of some, a 7 went next; but in opinion of others an 8 did.
We were arguing for a long time, when by some sheer luck, a child fell off a bench and shattered both of his jaws. That distracted us from our argument.
And then we all went home happy.

>>3571620

>>3571807
>>3571749
>>3571562
>>3571094
>>3571029
>>3571015
>mfw reading Daniil Kharms

>>3571749
>They like when I go down on them.
Hang on...

Update us OP, how far along are you?

>>3571893
He'll surely deliver, right?

Besides Kafka, what are other absurdist writers?

You know, to have something to read while OP delivers.

>>3571889
Some of his longer stories are filthy. There's one about the 'juices from her sexual organs' dripping down his face, and one where he's talking about stabbing women with knives and beating them with irons. There's even one where he describes the differences in smell between different types of pussy. I'm reading my way through the links the other guy posted – most of them are great but some are fucking weird.

>>3571900
>what are other absurdist writers?

Try the absurdest monthly review.
http://amr.obook.org/

>>3571966

>dat webdesign

all dem 90's flashbacks

>>3571897
OP never delivers.

>>3572050
I think he will. This post >>3570279 seemed pretty sincere, but judging by the time of his posts and the OP post, I think he's British, so he's probably sleeping now.

>>3572086
I pray for the sake of /lit/ that you're right. If you're wrong...God be with us all.

Does anyone have any advice regarding the best software / hardware for scanning and OCRing books? I'm looking to buy a scanner to use to digitize my library...

>>3572171
I'm curious too. What's the best OCRing software? I have a decent scanner.

>>3572171
>>3572360

I had a good experience with Abby Reader.

No worries, OP will surely deliver!

Posting because excited

bumping because excited

typing because excited

Hahaha to all you guys expecting OP to deliver. Where is your OP now?

>>3573858
>Where is your OP now?

Opie,
Opie.
Why hast thou forsaken me?

If we believe, Op will come

260 posts and no book. This is absurdity, this is kharma.

contri-booting the insanity.

>>3573858
>>3573875
>>3573879

OP is dead.

>>3573921
I'm not american, what is imitation crab meat?

>>3573932
no one knows

>>3573932
I wouldn't be surprised if it was an unspecifed sort of imitiation of the more expensive genuine crab meat.

>>3573932
imitation crab meat is just fish sticks

>>3573970
That's pretty gay.

>>3573932
human flesh ground to pulp

>>3573975
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEolSjlcqng
Real life Soylent Green.

>>3571900
Jorge Luis Borges is generally considered, with good reason, to be The Kafka Heir Guy.

>mfw this captcha

OP trolled us really hard

Today We Read Nothing.

>>3573982
I nominate Stanislaw Lem for that little pantheon. PKD and Poe at their best belong there.

Guess ill just have to buy this book now. I finished The Complete Stories by Kafka and I need some more absurdist literature.

OP what the fuck? I thought you were sincere man. Way to dissapoint me and make me look like an idiot in front of all my friends. They all said you wouldn't deliver but I told them to have faith, that OP will deliver this time. Looks like they were right. Thanks for nothing.

>>3567162
OP will come through.

O ye of little faith...

I was at work this morning, but I have got the document to a pretty reasonable state this evening.

The whole thing is OCR'd with nearly all of the corrections done (Keep in mind I basically had to proofread the entire book), and I have just loaded a test copy as a .pdf and .epub to see how they are.

There are still a few little mistakes that I need to iron out, a few formatting and spacing issues, and the front picture to attach. Just to show i'm sincere, pic related is the draft .pdf on the left, and the .epub on the right in calibre.

It's 1am here and I have work in the morning, but I'll finish it and upload tomorrow afternoon.

>>3575368
Is there a way you can encrypt it so that Iranian IP's can't download it?

>>3575368

>>3575368
I always believed in you OP.

>>3575368
>OCR'd and Edited by Anonymous

What a fucking hero. I dub thee Brahman, the tripfag.

Then there is still hope for the Iranian in all of us.

>>3575372
>Is there a way you can encrypt it so that Iranian IP's can't download it?
He'd have to upload to a custom freewebs site instead of mediafire and block all traffic from Asia. It's doable.

>>3575401
It would be the crowning coup de grâce on this whole affair

>>3575368
I love you anon. I bet you'll be able to string these retards on for another two days before they actually start to realize they've been had.

>>3575368
Awwwwww shit.

>>3575450
I would fucking laugh if OP doesn't post anything and the begging threads pop up again.

>>3575401
>He'd have to upload to a custom freewebs site instead of mediafire and block all traffic from Asia. It's doable.
As if Iranman isn't using a proxy already.

>>3575368

>>3575368

>>3575372

if OP delivers and for whatever reason Iranman can't get the book I think I'm gonna burst a lung laughing

>>3575836
>but my kirandle can't read epubs

>>3575368
jeez, nice
make sure to upload the pdf too, i' gonna read it on a computer

Hurry up op. This shit is taking too long

>>3575368
Please don't upload this book. It will destroy its mystique.

>>3576182

do it, OP!

posting in an absurdist art piece

One day there was an OP, who, upon removing a small cat from his mouth, decided to post a thread on 4chan. He placed a book on a scanner, spat, took a picture, spat again, and tricked us all into believing that he would let us read it. And that's all I have to say about that.

>>3576224
>And that's all I have to say about that.
That line that he likes at the end makes me think of him as a Russian Wesley Willis.

>>3567310

what if the just came once and the rest were imposters?

>>3576273
that kind of makes more sense really

>>3576273

*he

http://www.mediafire.com/view/?lssrrz22i9a1j74

Here you go, my Turkmen and Iranian friends. First link is OCRed pdf

>>3576287

wat

>>3576287
Just a fake, 6/10 though, didn't make me smile, but a nice idea

TURKMENISTAN, MY BELOVED MOTHERLAND,
MY BELOVED HOMELAND!
YOU ARE ALWAYS WITH ME
IN MY THOUGHTS AND IN MY HEART

>thread on autosage
No book now.

>>3576380
Perhaps based op will make another thread? If not, I think we need Iranman back

>>3576680
see
>>3576650

Will he come to this thread or the new one?

>>3576787

you better keep posting in both of them just in case

>>3576787
Not this one, its auto sageing so it'll 404 soon

Disregard this, it's for archive purposes.