/lit/ - Literature

Marie, her father was just appointed the title of Baron.

Soon they all began to bore of talking about the jovial life of Paris, and how dirty and disgusting

the peasants really are. The nobles, who were not married, began to fall in love with one another. However

they would refuse to fall in love with someone who was too low on the Heirarchy. Marie loved François and

longed for him, but because she was the lowest on the list, she couldn't even talk to him.

On one warm summer's day François diary had been stolen. Soon the entire castle would know of his secret, he

was a werewolf. He was staring into his mirror with tears forming in his eyes when he saw the visage of a

green imp appear in his mirror.
"I am Green Goblin Man and I have taken your diary. Unless you do what I say I will tell the entire castle

of your secret."

"Oh no! Please don't! I'll do anything, I promise." François said to the Green Goblin Man.

Marie, who had gotten into a habbit of listening in on François' conversations overheard this and

bust through the wooden door.
"Begone Green Goblin Man! We don't want you hear ANYMORE!" Marie yelled. Green Goblin Man was scared so he

ran away, but Green Goblin Man was not idle, no. Green Goblin Man built a huge phallus like tower and a cage

next to the tower. Next he created a devil's poison that would kill anyone who drank it in 30 minutes.

Green Goblin man snuck back into the castle at night and brought Marie into the tower, which only

had 1 room at the tippy top. He laid out the poison, and also laid out an antidote. Next, he brought

François into the cage and laid out the poison in there. Green Goblin Man then locked the cage and waited

for his plan to come to life. You could not imagine the suprise of Marie and François when they awoke in

such a strange place! They were yelling and could hear each other's voices and began to strategize.

It was then when Green Goblin Man came back to the phallus and the cage. He explained
"Hee, hee, hee, you have both fallen for my trap. Both of you have an antidote, and both of you have a

poison. However you each have different poisons. You will have all the food you want, but you will have no

water until you drink the poison which will kill you in 50 minutes. Marie, you have the antidote for

François and vice versa. When François drinks his poison, his cage will open, and he must try to bring the

Antidote to you, and once François' poison is cured the phallus will collapse."

François and Marie began shouting and strategizing more when Green Goblin Man left. It was decided

that Marie, tonight, would weave her hair together to make a long enough rope for François to climb up into

her room so they could drink each other's antidote. When the time came François drank his poison quickly and

started to climb up Marie's hair. Marie had nothing in her room. No bed, no furniture, just an open window

and a huge stockpile of bread. She had positioned herself so that her arms and legs and head were jammed

into the crevases of the rocks near the window, she could not move.

François came to the window opening and looked Marie. A grimace was still stuck on her face, and her

neck was 4 feet long. She killed herself for François. François took the antidote and he began floating down

to the Earth along with Marie. "Oh God Marie! Why?! WHY!? WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS GREEN GOBLIN MAN!?" Green

Goblin Man Appeared and said "You both had the same poison and the same antidote." And then he flew away

leaving François with a dead Marie in an open field near a castle in Southern France.


Sorry for the bad formatting I wrote this in notepad first.

This is wonderful. You should make a collection of short stories, like Dubliners, except good.

Write moar No offense but your style just isn't very pleasing to read.

1.) too choppy - needs less periods
2.) it's a simple narration, just a record of events

I dunno those are the two things that come to mind immediately, keep practicing.

>>517937
I am a neo-claccisist minimalist writer. Please, try harder.

>>517938
Thank you I know I have fans that I am pleasing with my writing talent.

>>517938

Agri??

Go back to SC dude

>>517950

Oh okay. Well I guess I just don't like minimalism then so my opinion here's kinda worthless.

>>517962
Anonymous??
(statement showing that i know who you are but you do not know who I am because I am Nigbanonymous)

>>517969

You'll never know who I am.

N
E
V
E
R

>>517962
Who are you? Why am I so popular?

>>517967
It takes a deep understanding of literature to enjoy.

>>517977

Popular... LOL.

Also, writing style sucks OP.

>>517937

Gave good advice

>>517967
If you cannot understand anything beyond entry level garbage like mangabullshit you don't belong here.

>>517934
>green goblin man

No.

>>518000
>minmalist writing

If you are too entry level to understand this you should leave.

No talks about the story itself just the way I write it.

O great philosopher-chan, explain "neo-classical minimalism" to an entry-level maggot such as myself.

>>In France, during the French Revolution, a group of about 10 lower-classed French nobles ran away to the country side to take refuge in a small castle. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the A-Team.

In France, during the French Revolution, a group of about 10 lower-classed French nobles ran away to

the country side to take refuge in a small castle. It was the last outpost of the French Royalty. They had

all fooled themselves into thinking that the French army would crush the rebels, as they had in the past,

and they would be able to move back into Paris. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of

fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire...

Agence Tous Risques.

>>518017
Narrating events without billions of words

>>518027
FFFFFFFUUUUUU!

>>518027
wtf is this there's only 9 of them left at the end of the story. You are dumbing down my genius.

>>518031

What's the point? What is the advantage of writing something so stripped-down that it's boring?

Can you point me to a decent minimalist writer so I can get a better understanding of it?

>>518039
Philisopher-chan is a decent minimalist writer if you aren't entry level.

>>518030
>>518027

I love it when a plan comes together.

>>517926

You are an awesome troll. I've been admiring your work. Please keep it up.

>>518044
French is a gay language. English is the master language.

>>518042

You forgot to take your trip off, samefag.

>Green Goblin Man

Philosopher has two "o's" in it.

>>518000
this is exactly where i stopped reading, because i'm an outfashionned non-hipster snob.

>>517926
>>517926
>>517926
did you even go to college? have you even taken an intro to fiction writing class. this fucking sucks. there are way too many articles and superfluous words. this isn't even minimalist. it's shit. fucking go back to the fundamentals of basketball and read some more raymond carver if you consider yourself minimalist. fucking newb.

you should stick to drawing comics, Chris-chan.

Una pluma de poco ritmo. Más allá del estilo neo minimalista, la narrativa parece sacada de un telégrafo.

>>517926
>>517926
>>517926
god, i just actually read more of this fucking horrible story and have more to say. your diction is fucking terrible. you use the passive voice way too fucking much. your syntax is abominable. this is just fucking awful writing. you're claiming this is minimalist writing and yet you have a fucking green goblin man? and a fucking werewolf? good god, is this how retarded we have become. seriously, i pose the same question: have you even taken a fucking intro to fiction class? have you read any minimalist writing to where you can have an intelligent diagnosis of genre for your own writing. fucking read some john cheever you dumb cunt.

>>518084
John Cheever read this and said it was great.

>>518093
john cheever's a faggot...like you.

Everyone who read or even glanced at this guy's writing is an idiot, and your idiocy is infecting the board.

When someone, anyone, says "critique my writing" just keep scrolling.

>>518084
You didn't capitalize I you are a bad writer.

There was nothing in this story I would call evocative of the Greco-Roman culture, so I don't see where neoclassicism comes in... unless the OP is referring to the fact that neoclassicism was big during the 19th century.

But that would make this some kind of... neo-neoclassicism.

>>518102
i liked you better when you were naked on the internet.

>>518104
it's because i'm fucking avant-garde as shit, motherfucker!

>>518095
Why are you so angry? Just read my story and enjoy it. Unless you are too entry-level to comprehend my diction and syntax.

>>518110
You're right you are shit.

>>517926
At first I was like "Hey, this is a pretty interesting synopsis!"

But then I was like "Green goblin man? This must be funny troll story."

Then I realized that this is an actual story.

And then... I serious'd.

>>518112
i read it and i cringe because there are so many things wrong with the writing. in the first sentence alone i made fourteen different edits. you're not minimalist enough.

>>518122
enlighten me to said 14 edits.

We're giving you criticism like you asked, and you're taking it like a little bitch. Accept the criticism and utilize it to better your writing.

>>518134
>little bitch
>little bitch
>little bitch
>little bitch
>little bitch
>little bitch
>little bitch
>little bitch
>little bitch
>little bitch

little green goblin man bitch

<During the French Revolution, a group of ten lower class French nobles fled to a small castle in the countryside.

>>518130
Buddy, this is still 4chan: where dreams come to die. Don't take anything said hear at heart.

...even though you still have room for improvement.

>>518138
Why would they flee to the French countryside if they are in Germany?

God damn, you guys.

how do you have lower-class French nobles?
Are they like bourgieouuieieisie?

>>518105
>>518105
>>518105
>>518105
>>518105

>>518148
phelosopor- chan is a pritty kewl gai, hee rites menimalist storys and doesnt afrayd of enythhing.

>>518150
Barons?

>>518159
I thought barons were pretty high class

>>518148
I'm not responding to this because I'm wasted and arguing with you over the internet and I'm pretty sure your story has nothing to do with Germany.

>In France, during the French Revolution, a group of about 10 lower-classed French nobles ran away to the country side to take refuge in a small castle.
>In France
>France

>>518165
Marius' father in Les Miserables was a shitty Baron and he didn't live in any castles.

>>518171
It is not-descriptive enough how do I know where the story takes place?

I think all the people that hated on this should go hate on my story. I could use the criticism. >>517812

>>518172
that doesn't make him low class
he's probably still loaded.

Knights are the lowest nobility. Barons and baronets are higher, but still low on the totempole.

ITT: Troll asks for criticism and then dismisses criticism by referring to everything and everyone as "entry level."

>>518174
what you did...it's there...and i see it.

>>518183
I'm not entry level

I would like to meet OP irl, and then punch him in the dick.

>>518198
Inbetween your H.P. Lovecraft books? haha I think not nerd

you guys are asking to get trolled. just saying.

op is a fag.

>>518203
Nigga, who the fuck is H.P. Lovecraft? My favorite book is Albert Camus' The Foreigners.

>>518212
You read that book too? my story is based on that book

>>518220
Yeah, but my favorite French book is George Bataille's The History of Eyes.

>>518248
shit sux

We should tame philosopher-chan and then use him as a secret weapon against /sci/. Like a trained pitbull or something.

>>518255
I don't know. It taught me a whole lot about anatomy.

>>517926
You're still writing this bilge water? I couldn't get past the one about the President getting run over by a fucking lawn-mower.

>>518273
I never wrote that

>>518255
bahaha
troll

>>518287
Seriously? Then what the fuck is this right here: >>517313

Needs moar Charlotte Corday

>>518310

lol same trip, even same typo in the word "philosopher"

>>518273
anon it was a splenter not a lawn mower..

I fucked Ted.

>>518336
Did someone say Lawnmower?