/lit/ - Literature

>>6176011
>tamburlaine
P well off actually, assuming plays count. Otherwise I'm the Underground Man.

>>6176011
>I'm a bird

*Shrugs*

>L'Étranger

Before or after I kill the Arab

>>6176011
I survived the war when all of my squadmates perished, but my life is shit. Like, so fucking shit.

What a racist image.
>>>/pol/

>>6176011
Halaciously

who is the main character in A Canticle for Leibowitz?

either way I'm probably fucked cuz they all lead hard lives except Hannegan who has concubinea

Richard II

I don't want to lose my kingdom to some upstart :(

>>6176600
John Cena.

>Goldmund

Not sure how I feel about this, but I'm liable to be pretty hype.

If I get to be Narcissus, I'll be even more hype.

>In The Mountains of Madness
Never forget.

The Stranger

I was pardoned so I'm fine, I went to Paris after all, got married and spend my weekends in the country.

Oh wait it was just a dying dream

>Rand al'Thor
Well, as I'm a lazy ass I'd probably just sit about, end up going mad and dying.

>Ralph
>Lord of the Flies

That last minute save tho

>tfw I am Gertrude Stein's live-in girlfriend

>>6176011
>Achilles
Wanker.

I don't read books with characters.

Darkness at Noon
Future looks short but I would have a much more impressive past than I do.

I'm Andy Warhol

>>6176011
>Omon Ra

Pretty fucked I guess.

>>6176011
Severian

Damn I guess I'm a fucking top alpha and saviour of humanity

>>6176011

I'm fucking a young french girl.
But.. It could be true or it could be not.

:^)

Last one I read was Machiavelli's "The Prince", so...

>>6176011
Will Graham.
Eh.

>>6176011
Yo nigga I'm set I'm fucking Dre nigga I look after my homeboys and spread da love will I get knifed or weill I knife some niggas who knows Dre out.

>the mezzanine
i have a slightly better job and a gf, but am basically the exact same person

>900- Baricco
I am the best pianist in the WHOLE WORLD, YES!

Emperor Octavian the August. Not too fucked, I'd say.

>>6176011
>Ship of Theseus
I think I'm not even in the book at all.

Still Life with Woodpecker. so I'm fine.

>A Confederacy of Dunces
No difference, I guess

Pickman's Model

I'll be fine. Terrified, but fine.

one flew over the cuckoo's nest

>>6176929
>Jonathan Franzen's Freedom

Hey kid wanna /ss/?

The plague....aw fuck

>>6176011
I'm a russian prince.
Nice.

>>6176935
Go back to /a/

>>6176948
Are you telling me if you became a disturbed housewife you wouldn't have sex with your daughter's male friends?

so that's the collective name for niggers
a squad of niggers

>>6176971
A tribe or klan in the wild, but domesticated ones are called a gang.

>>6176893
you are replaceble anyway.

a day in the life of ivan denisovich

>>6176011
>Black No More
I'm an ex-black white supremacist now stealing all the white wimminz

>>6176011
>the old man and the sea
no regrets

>Odysseus

Mmmmh. This is both great and catastrophic.

>>6176011
>Los Santos Inocentes
A retarded man who pees on his hands and lives in a shitty village.

>>6177039
you now know Russian.

>>6176011
I am the perfect Idiot.

>Sarrasine

>>6176639
Don't you mean Narziss?

>Odysseus

Thank god I'm not one of Odysseus' shipmates.

>the kid
>or I guess the judge depending on how you read it

I'm either fucked or a great favorite. Somebody pee on me

I now have Nyodene D in me.

I'm now Lord Delamere... It'll be an exciting and thrilling life, but hard work pioneering the development of Kenya

>>6176011
That makes me Joel Knox (from Truman Capote's Other Voices Other Rooms)

i guess i'll just have to deal with being gay in the deep south in my own way
i'm staying away from cousin randolph tho

>tfw can't no nuffin

>>6176011
I fuck bitches and smoke hash and my personality is smeared across Europe.

>>6176011
Discourse on method and other writings.

I'm not fucked at all.

>>6177519
New Testament?

>>6176011
>Robinson Crusoe

Fuck...

>Crime and Punishment

I'm actually not sure whether I'd handle the burden of my crime much better or much worse than that crazy motherfucker.

I set my "friend" on fire after he forces me to burn my house down because I was hiding books.

I don't think I'd do as well as he did in the novel. He ran a lot and I'm asthmatic. The mechanical hound will get me, surely. I fuggered.

>>6176011

I´m fucking Archimboldi. I fuck whores in every town, have a crazy gf with tuberculosis, I´m related to mass murder and raping of mexican women and I´m nominated for the Noble because of my mysterious writings. What else can I ask for?

> The Bell Jar

Lol i'm probably going to be kill ;_;

>>6176011
>Raoul Duke

Oh boy

>i'm addicted to opium
sounds fine

>>6176011
>Satan
O Heeellll yes

Pecola Breedlove, I'm quite fucked, in the most literal of ways.

>Last read non-fiction
I am now a psychologist

>Circe

My wife tried to kill me with a cockroach :/

The Double, i dun goofed

>>6177977
Those numbers haven't goofed though.

>"logos" by heidegger
idk i guess laying shit down in the shelter before the storm comes in isn't so bad

>Stephen Dedalus
I'm gonna sniff so many farts.

>>6176011
>On the road

I think I am okay with this...

>>6177977
>The Double

>50 shades of grey
I guess I'm fucked pretty hard ;)

>>6177977

>>6176011
>Ceremony
>Tayo

no thanks

>Blood Meridian


hold me /lit/

>Tyrone Slothrop

It's worth it for the blazer with Dillinger's blood and the complete mental and physical collapse.

Kvothe - Just finished the Name of the Wind, I would be done to be Kvothe

>storm of steel
At least my death will be in vain

>>6176011
>Gravity's Rainbow
>oh boy

>>6176011
The Colour of Magic. I'd be alright.

>One Hundred Years of Solitude
Is there even a main character? I was confused because everyone had the same name.

>>6179341
>Reply
The Grandmother would be the main character. She was the there the whole time. It's not the best way to look at it, but I'd say it is something like that.

Or better yet, Colombia is the main character, or Macondo. These are cop-out answers, but they may be the best, because the novel is pretty allegorical for Colombian history and its development of national identity over time.

>>6176011
>either Kafka's The Burrow or Blood Meridian
Oh damnit, either the Judge will get me, or some unknown burrowing animal way larger than myself.

I'm an Italian prince who marries a rich and beautiful American girl and then gets embroiled in a psychological drama involving my former lover.

Sounds pretty sweet.

Next month will mark 95 years since my death. Life was kinda shitty what with the whole being batshit crazy, a murderer of a young man with a wife and kids and all that. Contributed more to the creation of the OED than almost anyone though, so that's cool.

also I had a fucking righteous beard

>>6179411
Interesting as fuck.

>Segismundo

Before or after the story took place?

>Hopscotch by Cortázar

I don't know who the main character is, maybe I'm Cortázar himself

>american psycho

:^)

> Band of Brothers

So Maj. Winters, I guess? Or just some other E-company shmuck?

>don quixote
I barely started, but I feel like I'm fucked.

>Trainspotting
Guess I'm going to start shooting up that skag

>Geralt of Rivia

Improvement of sorts.

>>6176011
>Pat Bateman

Well...

>>6177200
>Narziss
>not Narziß

>All the King's Men
Am I jack burden, or willie stark?

>>6176800

Severin, not severian. Get the man's name right.His heart didn't break so that you would forget him.

> mfw I am Myskin, Hey-zeus incarnate

Billy Parham. Pretty fucked.

well, you tell me, monsieur; how "fucked" am i?

>>6181802
Ya. Get Severins name right.

>>6176011
I'm a slightly older Jewish lady in New York who wrote a shit book and made fake letters purportedly written by Hollywood fuckers

I'm pretty terribly off, TBH

>>6176011

>Patrick Bateman

More like how fucked are those bums and hookers?

One Hundred Years of Solitude,

We would slowly decay over time until our relationship is forgotten by everyone including ourselves.

>I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream
Fuck

This hot woman who adored me turns out to be a spirit sent by the devil to make me fall into sin. I sold my soul to the devil to get out of prison 5 minutes before I was about to be pardoned. Lucifer himself just dropped me down a mountain, I am laying broken and helpless as insects devour my flesh and carrions pluck up my eyes.

Damn.

>>6176011
Umm yeah Horselover Fat. I'm an insane schizophrenic who God shot with pink laser beams.

I'm a fictionalized version of Proust in volume two of his novel. I'd say I often suffer needlessly. I hang out with a group of girls everyday. The most intelligent one seems to love me, but I'm attracted to a plebeian girl with "matt" cheeks. When I tried to kiss her she told me not to do that. One of my pals is a 10/10 aristocratic guy, but I don't care about him now because I see that group of girls. I'm from the upper middle class. I get to hang out in Balbec and go to Paris whenever I want. My Jewish friend Bloch can get annoying sometimes, but he's pretty funny. Still kind of sad about what happened between me and Gilberte, but oh well. Things aren't so bad for me.

>>6182656
At least you had some time getting sweet 21 year old pale pussy.

>>6176011

not fucked at all until I watch the Mike Meyers movie

>>6176011
;_;

>catcher in the rye


Wow absolutely nothing has happened

The Good Soldier.
tfw cucked.

Dubliners

Am I a lot of people or nobody at all?

The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka.

Fuck, and I thought last night's rereading would have been an innocent affair.

>Dune

Cool, now I have superpowers and I'm the emperor of the universe, I hope I don't get killed in the sequels, maybe that's why it gets bad

>>6176011
Last whole book: Jake in Fiesta: The Sun Also Rises
> impotent
last bit of a book: Bill Caspar in A Kestrel For A Knave
>doomed to work in the mines in grey fucking yerksher

>>6182752
*Billy

>>6176011
>last thing I read was this.

Can't say Ihaven't been there before.

>>6176011
Better go mess up some [spoilers]giants[/spoilers] I suppose

Bob Arctor. Sorta shitty, but pretty cool at least.

sweet. i am Pechorin

>>6176011
>Ex Priest from Coldfire trilogy
Man I didn't get a single drop of pussy in the third book.

>Paul from Taipei

Not bad

>tfw I become Harry Dresden

>>6183793
>have sex with a demon and have demon babbies
>die and be reincarnated by a tree into the same body
>2015
>no new Dresden Book
fucking Butcher

>>6176011
>Tfw I'm Captain Vimes


sweet

>From recovering alcoholic to recovering alcoholic

ah well

Not sure if I'm Bouvard or Pecuchet.

>Cincinnatus C
why

>Ernst Junger in Storm of Steel

Yikes.

>>6176035
Which book?

>>6176585
:O:O:O:O:O:O

>>6176011
>Bob Arctor

I am so fucking fucked.

>The Catcher in the Rye
Nothing changes. Why would anything change?

>Giovanni's room

Hell yeah I get to fuck a dago

>>6183875
hey, he turned out alright

I'm Euclid, sweet.

>>6176011
I saw the movie first, so I think Mark Renton is the main character of Trainspotting, in which case yay!

>>6184708
Aristophanes'

This R.H. Webb translation is... odd.

>Julius Caesar
shit

>>6176011
I AM ARTHAS!

>Raskolnikov
Fucked.

I'm Humbert

Nothing changed

>>6176011
I'm Laura Palmer...

>>6177974
Could be worse, at least your'e not an axolotl.

>William Madela from The Forever War.

So, I go into the future while fighting an enemy over a misunderstanding, then go live on some heterosexual compound planet with a girl I was in an open relationship with in the army? Cool, I guess.

>>6176011
>No longer human.
Wait, did my wife just get raped?

>Mein Kampf
the complete opposite of fucked

>>6186481

>the complete opposite of fucked

apart from getting cucked on a global level lol.

>Yiddish Policeman's Union
>I'm a lazy, lonely, depressed, alcoholic, Jew.

Business as usual :^)

>notes from the underground

My liver starts hurting and nothing else changes.

>Infinite Jest

I don't know, is it Don Gately or Hal? Or Pemulis?

>Inherent Vice
I'm okay with it.

>>6176011
>The Book of Job

faaack, I guess it'll be worth it in the end.

>>6187166
You should hide, in this economy lots of people are looking for you.

>>6187174

Alexei Ivanovich, in The Gambler.

It's not that different from my actual life, i just spend my time on 4chan instead of casinos.

American Psycho
Yeah I killed a lot of people, I`m just a happy camper, by he way who handles the Fisher account? Gonna drink me a J&B on the rocks and murder a faggot and some girls.

>>6188814
hahahah fuckin` trips
nice

>just finished Lolita

>>6176011
K from the Trial

I don't think I'd feel much different

>Stoner

No thank you :(

>my struggle part 1

Everything I ever wanted in life.

>100 Years of Solitude

I'm not sure who I am, but the theme hasn't changed at all from real life.

>>6176011
I'm Benedetto XV, a not very famous pope during WW1

>>6176011
I'm Lestat De Lioncourt, that seems good enough.

>>6176011

Midnight Tides by Steven Erikson. I haven't a clue how fucked I am because there are so many protagonists in it because it's a book by Erikson.

Edmond Dantes - eh could be worse

>>6179409
this is much funnier with only the first two panels.

suffers from the same issue as the bring back 80s speed metal butterfly

Converting to Mudslime
>ohfuckno.jpg

I'm Latro in the mist. I have long term memory disorder and kick ass.

>>6176011
Stranger in a strange land.

I will manage...

>>6176011
based rand al'thor

>>6191501
Was that book good? Been thinking about picking it up.

>Robespierre
I'll be the most beloved politician in France, then beheaded by the very constituents I tried to saved

Ishmael in Moby dick...could be worse.

We have a winner, Marcus Aurelius

>Dagon's narrator
Fuck...

>>6186111
>Twin Peaks
>Literature

Nice trips, though.

>>6177977
Extremely underrated post.

>Maldoror

Uh...

>Paul Muad'Dib

>>6177567
Came here to post this.
Just keep your copecks handy and remember to hide your socks.

"Wrath"

Eh, bang harper or miranda

>>6176639
The glass bead game

I just drowned in a cold mountain like for being a pedophile

>King Lear
Pretty fucked

> The Road

:(

I will get raped in toilet by The Judge

>>6176011
Well, I get executed at the end, but other than that it's not so bad.

>>6176011

>asoiaf

Oh look at me I'm a teenager and I haven't done enough research hey ho

>>6192839

MESSIAH SUPREME
TRUE LEADER OF MAN

>>6176011

Confessions of a Mask

cool I'm a gay sickly weirdo now

>>6196000
Hey Meursault

>>6197158
Nothing different from unusual, then?

>>6198147

ho oh oh x ) fuck I loled

> Pay proles the value of their labor power
> Absorb their labor time, which is hopefully worth more than the labor power
Pretty sweet arrangement I'd say

>Jack Kursed
I'm an immortal and invincible mary sue who can't sleep, and adopted an 8 year old daughter.

I like it.

I'm Amir from The Kite Runner.

At least I didn't get raped and killed by Al Queada

The sun also rises

... A semi-impotent well traveled handsome alcoholic writer fishing in spain and getting drunk in preparation for the fiesta..

I aint even mad'

fuck

>In Search of Lost Time

>Things Fall Apart
I'm an angry negro /lit/
>at least I have yams

>>6176011
Gallipoli, Alan Moorehead

Fuck.

>>6176011
I'm... me, I guess.

Otherwise;
If I'm the compiler, I'll live out my life doing the most menial task imaginable and I'm maximum fucked.
If I'm Dennis Richie, I'm an anime-eyed, non-autistic version of Stallman. So pretty based.
If I'm the programming language itself, I'm the best lang, so not fucked.

>>6176974
>domesticated ones are called a gang
I thought they were called 'inmate'.

>>6177686
You read the bible?

am pidurman

>>6191343

>/v/ comics editors
>2015

Comic's more about stubborn self delusion in the face of growing evidence of an issue rather than a blippy "Haha, that dog is wrong!".

The added context also ensures original intent is preserved. You can bet redditors would use those first two panels as some kind of 2deep4u zen buddhist "calm in the face of adversity" bullshit if the rest of the comic didn't utterly shut that down.

>Paradise Lost
So what am I? Humanity? Lucifer? Jesus? Destiny?

>Main character

macbeth. pretty fucked but at least i'm a BAMF

Mite b cool. Stressful and troubling, too, but cool.

>Oedipus

My mom isn't even hot

Dante. i have actually been developing a mega crush on virgil. am i gay?

Yossarian. I've always wanted to go to Sweden.

Pretty good. I can finally be exactly what I always wanted.

A big guy

>Armor
I'm fucked beyond fucked. I'm going to die painfully, and probably slowly at that.

Song of Achilles... I'm doomed.

>>6202496
Did you like the book? I've had Catch 22 sitting on my shelf since I was a kid but it's one of the only books I have that I haven't even attempted to read.

>>6176011
Sade's Justine.

Literally completely fucked.

>>6176011
>Asura Girl
But I don't want to be a teenage japanese girl

>>6202655
its hard not to at least enjoy it.

benjy.
shit.

>>6176011
>tfw Dr.Frankenstein

>>6176011
>Hurin

I'm 100% fucked, get to kill a dragon first tho

Pros: japanese schoolgirl
Cons: osamu dazai book