/lit/ - Literature

these posts are the best on 4chan hands down

>>7099462
no you're autistic

>>7099472
I'm not shitposting, I'm genuinely wondering

>first day of college
>everyone is asked to say their name and talk a little bit about themselves
>introduce myself as intelligent, nihilistic and with a wicked sense of humor

Fuck /lit/

>>7099485
I wasn't shitposting either.
Greentexts about taking the board culture out into the real world are literally one of the funniest things I've ever read.

>tfw you talk about all of the depressing thoughts in your head enthusiastically while smiling and laughing at your self and people think you're kidding hilarious and have a good sense of humor but you just wish you didn't exist tbh

OP is a fucking boss, god damn

>tfw I say tbh in my head after every thought I have
My life is a living hell tbh (to be honest)

>First day of class
>teacher goes around the class and tells them to introduce themselves and say their favourite movie
>people say "My favourite movie is [insert pleb film here] because they're afraid of looking like pseuds"
>It gets to me
>Put on a snobby voice and tell them my favorite FILM is Eraserhead

No one even laughed. I hate myself.

>>7099490
>Fuck reddit*

>>7099504
Same

>>7099462
>girl asked you to the movies
NORMIES GET OUT

>>7099515
this, REEEE tbh

>>7099481
Nah. I was tested and I am not officially "on" the spectrum. My doctor told me I was very insecure and defensive, though

>>7099515
>>7099520
No, she asked me in a friendly way. I think there was gonna be another person there. Not romantic.

>>7099509
Eraserhead is a movie, not a film.

>>7099509
>people talking about oscars at school
>they bring up birdman
>lunge into conversation yelling "A DECENT FLICK, BUT A MEDIOCRE FILM"

>>7099462
>Is this from being on /lit/ too long?
Nah, the root of your problem is being immature and highly impressionable.

>>7099563
This

OP you're most likely just a young bitter teenager looking for an excuse to be a contrarian, you'll grow out of it

>>7099462

>What the fuck is happening to me?

Adolescence.

>>7099462
This is probably a byproduct of subvocalizing. You instinctively internalize anything you read to a much higher degree than non-subvocalizers.

You should stop subvocalizing.

>>7099462

I never take the chans into life, it's my guilty pleasure to have that secret.

Someone meets me and he has absolutely no idea how memed my memes are.

>>7099513
>>7099504
I've been saying 'tbh' in real life for weeks now and every time I do it I noticeably wince.

>see some hipster looking guy on the train
>he's reading infinite jest
>tell him to 'start with the greeks'
>he stares blankly

>>7099548
I quite liked birdman on a technical level but content-wise it was very mediocre.

>be me
>drinking at a party
>a grill is there and we talk books
>she even likes me
>she says she likes Coelho
>I explain why it is awful shit
>she leaves
>my friends watch in disbelief
>I actually knew that if I wanted to make out I'd have left it out
>I just can't stand the book
>I knowingly defended my patricianhood
>This is why I'm still a kissless virgin
>but at least I'm not a pleb

>>7100628
>implying that most people can have sex and still be a Patrician

To be a Patrician you must find knowledge more appealing than sex, but for most of us, we aren't gifted with that privilege so we must abstain from the action to keep on our journey.

>>7100634
But at some point I'd think it'd still be ...useful, in some human extent, to know a woman.

>>7100628
I did this once criticising Maya Angelou, but I'm not a KV, so I don't know, in your situation I wouldn't have.

>>7100654
I was quite drunk, almost a litre of wine.
Sober I would have probably tried to score.
I didn't even read Coelho

>>7100619
Underrated post

that's called being an asshole. it's not that uncommon

I get pretentious when people gush over children's movies (Hayao, Pixar etc). Waiting for the resurgence in adults reading picture books--Oh wait, comics exist.

>>7100628
>>I knowingly defended my patricianhood
no, you are just completely insecure and you were afraid of being intimate with the girl so you choose to cowardly bolster your ego and prevent the encounter.

You are as plebby and beta as they come tbh

mer

>>7100178
Subvocalizing is good for reading in-depth, though.

Don't writers subvocalize while they write?

>>7099491
I hope you understand these are fake...

>week one of a creative writing class, we have to introduce ourselves and say what influences us
>most people say Stephen King, Chuck Pahlanuik or some YA garbage
>I say the writers that have had the most influence on me are probably DH Lawrence, Katherine Mansfield and Ernest Hemingway
>one girl rolls her eyes and sighs loudly at the mention of hemingway
>I say 'what's the problem?'
>she says 'oh it's just funny the only white male in the class is the only one who likes hemingway'
>bitch please Lawrence was a faggot and Mansfield was a female faggot, don't give me this bullshit i can like hemingway if i want

>>7100178
>>7100178

Subvocalizing is how you realize, internally, the meter and rhythm of a text, as well as potential tonal nuances, to say nothing of responding to the text yourself, conversing with it. You've essentially trained yourself to juice text for surface meaning, discarding the nutritious pulp. It's the ultimate dilettante practice, which speaks to a deeper deficiency, the view of reading as a sort of prestige collecting, rather than as an experience that changes you ans is to be savored. That, or you actually dislike literary fiction and are forcing yourself through it. Probably both. You should really go back to reading genre fiction. You'll be happier.

is that brendan frasier? he looks so old, holy shit

Jesus H. Christ do you all have Aspergers?

>>7103781

I don't want to believe stories like this but i'm happy i don't go to college with the other faggots like the one you mentioned, sorry for ur loss, some real subhumans they let in nowadays.

>>7103781
Give her the Hitler eyes and tell her flatly "white male blood built the civilization you're living in, cunt."

>>7099462

>>7099462
yes, entirely.

You are an idiot who has assimilated into a society of idiots how have circled jerked themselves into a state where they think their idiotic replies hold some weight.

Do not worry that you upset these people or made a fool of yourself, they are probably concerned for your health

>>7099499
>>7099504
>>7100619
Have I become /lit/ or has /lit/ become me?

>>7103851
it's "learned Aspergers," kind of like how everybody has SAD nowadays--i.e., we are damaged from too much time in isolation, but that sounds pathetic, so please just refer to us as aspies.

>>7103866
*tips fedora*

>>7100612
this OP, don't let anyone ever fucking know

>>7103781
>Lawrence was a faggot
No

>>7099462
I've been using 'meme' as a verb for about a month now. Other people I spend time with are doing it too now.

>>7099499
Ayy

>>7100619
ayy lmao

>>7103762
pro wrestling is fake too, but it's entertaining as fuck

>>7103781
she's right. hemmingway is white boy faggot shit.

>>7100614
Do you say to be honest or tee-bee-h

>>7103419
Rekt

>>7105971
Tee b h just has a ring to it tbh

>>7103781
>only white male in the class

I'm having trouble picturing this

>>7105971
>>7105982


>tee bee h
>not tee bee aech

>>7100644
>using 'know' to mean have sex with
are you 500 years old

>>7099534
>she asked me in a friendly way
>friend-ly
>friend

REEEEEEEEEEEE

>>7099504
same and english isn't even my native language, tbf

>>7099462
Literally what else could even be causing it you fucking faggot

> tbh (to be honest)

tfw you can't ironically greentext irl

>>7106157
As in ridiculing someone by paraphrasing him? You can do that by mimicking them in a exaggeration of their voice, though you'll look childish in a serious discussion.

>>7105802
This tbh.

>>7105925
That's actually not as bad as the rest of the rest of the stuff in this thread, groups of friends usually have in-jokes and a bit of distinctive lingo and such. Though I can't say you wouldn't make me cringe.

>>7105950
No its not.

>>7106157
>implying
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTN6gL21F60

>>7099509
That's not horror fault. Millennials are fucking horrible at detecting sarcasm due to texting their whole adolescence. Not even being fedora, texting had no tone or emotion since you don't have room for it