/lit/ - Literature

>>7439729
>that pic

>>7439729
lol no
>£20
what in the world?

>>7439729
You couldn't stop me from talking to that girl.

>h-hey are you an a-archeologist?

>>7439729
>talking to girls

Why?

>>7439729
Fuck yes I would. Holy shit!

>>7439739
With those hands and shoulders? Honestly, don't be silly.

>>7439729
>>7439744
Thanks OP, now Timmy is grounded.

I have no interest in old hags.

I work full time--why would I waste my time at a library or coffee shop? They're filled with screaming furries.

Last time I went to one, some boy who was probably 15 had a Sonic tote bag, fingerless gloves, and a rainbow tail.

no why would i bother someone reading

>>7439752
>furries
>Sonic tote
>rainbow tail
Where is this? I want to join. :3

>>7439729
yo how the fuck does that train have two compartments? or is that lady behind her just walking in the tunnel?

>>7439739
>Chad cuts in front of you as soon as you get up, telling you to leave her alone
>everyone in subway calls you names; elderly people calling you expletives, baring their teeth
>nearby off-duty police officer puts you in armbar and shoves you to the floor, calls the police station

>>7439758
How kafkaesque.

>>7439758
anon, i..

>>7439729
She's reading. I leave her alone. There's absolutely no honest thing I can say to her to start something other than "hey, we both share the oldest hobby since sumaria, which everyone does and i'm now keeping you from doing" or "I wanna fuck your tits"

>>7439782
How do you fuck tits? Do breasts have a vagina in between in them too?

>>7439729
No, she doesn't look like she reads books.

>>7439782
>I leave her alone. There's absolutely no honest thing I can say to her to start something other than "hey, we both share the oldest hobby since sumaria, which everyone does and i'm now keeping you from doing"
This is the attitude with which I approach everything in life. Needless to say, I'm living the dream.

No need to be jealous.

What if it's a person reading a book you've read? Would you interrupt them about it? Have you ever?

I don't I could handle sex with a girl like that.

>>7439760
>spaghetti falls out of my pockets
>explode into treats.

>>7439805
>Would you interrupt them about it?
No because I'm an autist and like to keep to myself.
>Have you ever?
No.

>mfw I will never mutually ignore a cute girl reading Cioran on the subway and beat myself up for not talking her for months afterwards

Why live?

>>7439810
>explode into treats

>>7439782
What if she looks around and your eyes meet?

>>7439805
Maybe, if above thing happened. Never happened.
Once saw an old guy in front of me on the bus write in his notebook. He had stuff written in Latin too, some beginner sentences and so on. That's as far as mildly interesting book-related public stuff I've seen goes.

>>7439815
grimes is cute pls no bully
Her new album was disappointing.

>>7439819
>What if she looks around and your eyes meet?
Pretend they didn't. Are you some sort of entry level sperg?

>>7439805
>What if it's a person reading a book you've read?
>Looking at people for long enough to notice what they're reading
Fucking amateurs all of you

>>7439826
>implying it isn't a chance to actually ask about the book if you wanted

>Looking at people for long enough to notice what they're reading
>not noticing these things
Are you legally blind?

>>7439816
>>7439747
It's amazing how fast board culture can fade.

>>7439829
Friend, I'll remove a piece of clothing from my wardrobe if someone compliments me on it just to avoid further unexpected conversation. Not noticing people is babby's first social ineptitude

>>7439832
>implying

>>7439838
>I'll remove a piece of clothing from my wardrobe if someone compliments me on it just to avoid further unexpected conversation.
Anon.. How do you even go outside?

i never speak

>>7439846
Very carefully ;)

>>7439729
>>7439805
I actually once met Joseph Heller, while working early in a small-movie theatre before our first showing where no patrons were. I was reading 'Catch 22' for the first time and he approached me about it, got to talking for a while.
Only time its ever happened to me, and I've since seen no opportunity to speak to someone about whatever book their reading, though the memory leaves a tingle in my heart.

>>7439854
what year was that

>>7439854
Are you like 30 or 40?

>>7439857
Someone once posted here saying he was 68, maybe it's the same guy.

>>7439854
Did he scream at you to read one of his other novels? Did he slap the book out of your hands? Was he wearing a Groucho Marx disguise?

>>7439860
You forgot to ask if he talked about electric infetterence.

>>7439856
I was around 17 in New York, and I think he was teaching at City College at the time.

>>7439883
How old are you?

>>7439884
>City College
He must be in his 50s or 60s.

Wow. Any wisdom senpai

>>7439729

if I was single I probably would

chances are 50/50 I would be overwhelmed by her boobs tho

legs are nice, too hnnng

>>7439758

Do you even into reflections?

>>7439785

please let this be b8

>>7439790

my gf has fat titties, too and reads more than I do. stop being a judgemental fag, man. we all want that literary snatch

>>7439906
>try to make out what she's reading
>she looks up
>she thinks you're staring at her cleavage
>yfw

>>7439921

yup, that's me alright.

Nope, she's fat.

>>7439921
#relatable

>>7439921
>check her cleavage to see if I can make out a nipple
>she looks up
>she thinks you're trying to make out what's she reading
>she starts a conversation about the book
>mfw

>>7439932
Her body is perfectly proportioned you worthless homosexual

>>7439976
>worthless breeder calling anyone else worthless
faggot

>>7439998
>breeder meem

>all the closeted homo betas ITT saying they wouldn't mumble at her
It figures if it's not a girl under 12 or a twink /lit/ isn't interested. women only read to attract male attention anyway, it's not like they can process information written in any book besides dimestore romances. she is obviously waiting for an alpha male like myself to take her out of her romance novel fantasy land and into the real thing, give her a bit of the old in-out-in-out

>>7439921
>>7439976
>>7439948
>>7439906
>"u-u-uhm m-milady what are you r-reading"
>she says some random genre fiction novel to get you to shut the fuck up
>actually reading ulysses

>>7440075
>if it's not a girl under 12 or a twink /lit/ isn't interested
I see nothing wrong with this

>>7440141
this pic is making me laugh a lot

>caring about females in 2015

>>7439729
Don't you find it awkward when some chick leaves herself exposed in a clearing, and some old bag is just hanging out in aisle 8 keeping an eye on the conversation? Honestly, nothing throws you off like this.

It's stranger when the chick is a mature older woman who wants to show you the 2nd floor of her gallery. These older women these days. They think having their own store is a great way to pick up younger guys.

>>7439729
>you go home
Why is that girl reading on her kindle in your house? And why are there other people there?

>>7439729
I work in a bookstore and I've been considering asking my customers if they would be bothered if someone came up to them to talk about what they are reading.

I could make up some bullshit on how the question is work related, problem is 99% of my customers are old white women so I wouldnt care anyway.

Still dont know if hitting on customers when they are checking out is worthwile

>>7440872
It's not. Unless you're super attractive most customers don't even notice you. You're like furniture and literally no different to an self-serve checkout machine.

>>7439729
No

>>7440894
You could not be more wrong and I wish you were right

Do you know how many fucking people need to tell me how their fucking day went

These fucking people man

It's like they have no one left to talk to and know I have to be nice to them

>>7439805
At the Chick-fil-A on campus at UCF there was a qt in line reading Choke or Diary or one of those and I was going to talk to her about it, but then I remembered whatever book was by Palahniuk, so I changed my mind. Also she was too far ahead of me in line, so it would have been painful to do, as I am far to self-aware to talk across a fast food line to a girl reading a book without any trace of irony in my mind

>>7440075
>three-dimensional pig disgusting
Then again, the only 2DQT who reads prefers shitty fucking faggot scifi shit

>>7439758
fuuuuuuuuuuuuu

>>7439729

>>7439729
Just say hi to her and ask what she's reading. It's probably gonna be a shorty romance book based on her clothes so I'll tease her a bit on it. Then where she from, try to guess what he's studying then ask her to a coffee place near my house when we get off at my station.
Don't talk too much about the book unless you wanna be friendzoned

>>7439729
You pass her a note, politely. Say you noticed she was reading and didn't want to interrupt her with a conversation but would like to get to know her if she wants to talk about books or something. The worst that can happen is she thinks you're a creep, but that just means she wasn't going to respond to "hey" either and at least you tried.

>>7441543
*shitty not shorty
**she's not he's

I was once sitting next to a girl maybe 5 years ago, had one of those old nokia phones. I went to the texting screen and typed out 'hello :)' or something and put it screen-up on my leg closest to her.

>>7441548

Short-dicked gay detected.

Freud is awesome.

>>7441584
Let me guess, she pepper-sprayed your ass.

>>7440343
what
are you that anon who is 68 years old?

>>7440894
That's not true, I literally have panic attacks every time I enter a store because I'm afraid of the staff judging me. I went to buy some jeans the other week and a 9/10 sales assistant started being all fake-friendly so I did one quick circuit around the clothes racks and exited without browsing a single item. Thank dog highstreet stores will soon be obsolete.

Its too hard to talk to a girl for the first when there's others around listening

I can't imagine anyone ever approaching a stranger "just to chat" on London public transport, except perhaps in the evenings on weekends when everyone's a bit tipsy already.

>>7439729
>tfw you will never have a luscious thick thighs white girl
Why live?

>>7441696
I can't even talk to my girlfriend or my friends naturally when there are strangers within earshot.

>>7441701
how do you cope? I suffer from the same condition.

Any tips? I can't keep a steady GF because of this fear or phobia or whatever the fuck.

inb4 Beta af.

>>7440894
That's not true at all you autist

Maybe for your aspie brain, but certainly not for regular people

>>7440912
>tfw a checkout op asks you how your day went and you're flustered because you can't remember the last time you considered how your day was going or the last time someone asked and its impossible to answer.

>>7441709
Sorry, I have no tips and I don't really cope very well. I just schtum up whenever I'm in a crowded place like on a subway. I do worry that my gf thinks I'm embarrassed of her, when really I'm just embarrassed of myself. I'm pretty confident in tête-à-tête situations which I think is my saving grace, socially. I have a bit of an alcohol dependency because I get overwhelmed by anxiety when I have to be in public sober. I even got tipsy before my last job interview (and got the job btw).

>>7439729
nigger I'd have a hard time looking at her

>>7441842
>tfw a girl sits opposite you on the subway and you spend the whole journey looking everywhere but at her so you never even find out whether she's attractive or not

>>7441738
So, I am not alone! I feel better already. I have no money for therapy so Thanks for sharing your shit, i guess. You made me smile.

I don't know why but Photography helped me a lot. I am at relative ease when i have the camera in my hand outdoors.

>>7439729
hi im brian

>>7440177
yolo dude! 8D

>>7441852
hahaha it's a me

this thread is why i married a man.

>>7441877
enjoy Hell

>>7441894
hell is where all the soft anuses live. anii?

>>7439932
Gay

>>7439729
I'd use the tried and true tactic of seeking eye contact, staring for a little while, and than looking away, hoping she will confront me about it and start a conversation.

It has worked twice in my life so far, and both times resulted in sex months down the line.
I mean, dont fix what aint broken, ammirite?

>>7441929

Drugs and gays everywhere too.

>>7439785
Welcome to the internet. You'll find the porn section especially interesting.

>>7439894
Yes.
Never underestimate the cheese.

>>7439729
why would i ever spend that much money at a cafe? one small coffee will suffice

I only now just read OCs post. Anyway trying to pick up chicks on the subway is taboo

you know most coffee shops that aren't starbucks will let you get free refills for coffee

>>7441692
>"I'm just looking, thanks"

>>7440157
This guy gets it.
If you're fatter than her then by all means this circlejerk of attraction is fine but dudes who are into chicks larger than them are either niggers or €U€KS with an inferiority complex

>>7442082
that sums up my life

>>7441692
>should buy new jeans, shoes or w/e because been putting it off for too long
>go into a clothing store
>wearing winter clothes so it's hot as fuck
>the lights are too bright
>mirrors everywhere

Is this some subliminal messaging to make people buy more because they can see the blemishes on their skin or clothing?

>precariat says hello or asks if you need help
>nah just looking
>wander around aimlessly
>see a decent looking piece of clothing
>99€

>try on some other item, realize you can't fold it into the original shape it was presented in
>oh well the precariat will fold it back, still feel a bit ashamed
>everything else looks generic and uninteresting
>fuck this shit I'm gonna go drink

I'm not even autistic.

>Nice Kin-
>"TALKING TO WOMEN IN PUBLIC IS OPPRESSION!"
>-dle

>>7442235
Am I the only one who has never met a "sjw" in real life?

>>7442248
I'm in Berkeley/S.F. frequently and have the misfortune of running into them all of the god damn time. Luckily they're not unlike poisonous frogs in that their ridiculous colors (pink/blue dyed hair) gives them away from a safe distance.

>>7442248
Probably.
Every girl with purple/green hair ever was one as well as most "alternative" chicks.

>>7442266
do they actually bring up their opinions every chance they can though?

>>7442235
Why would you ever talk to some stranger in public?

>>7442276
Yes. It's what pays their bills.

>>7442279
Because people are interesting and a surprising amount of people have a surprising amount of things to say.

>>7442283
>people are interesting
[citation needed]
>a surprising amount of people have a surprising amount of things to say
Why is this a reason to bother normal people who don't wish to talk to some creep?

>>7441877
>married
fag

>>7442216
I completely understand you, anon. I don't know what the fuck it is, but my clothes always look like shit in those mirrors, even if I look great in any other fucking mirror. One of the reasons I hate clothing stores.
>>try on some other item, realize you can't fold it into the original shape it was presented in
Also this, I'm not autistic but I feel like I fucking am when I'm in a place like that.

>>7442288
Because, like most people, I can read context clues and know when people are okay with being "bothered" or not. Besides, running the risk of being annoying and then forgotten is worth meeting new people.

source: my social circle has offline members

>>7442330
>I can read context clues and know when people are okay with being "bothered"
>>Nice Kin-
>>"TALKING TO WOMEN IN PUBLIC IS OPPRESSION!"
Apparently not?
>the risk of being annoying is worth meeting new people
Protagonist syndrome. Stop acting like other people owe you their time.

Sperg virgin here. I honestly wouldn't even know what to say. And anything I can think of makes my brain imagine all the ways in which she could interpret my words as an unwelcome sexual advance, so I'm back at square one.

there are too many people around in too tight a space to ever chat that babe up. would be uncomfortable for all involved

>>7442357
/thread

>>7439741
this desu senpai

>>7439760
And that is social anxiety defined perfectly.

>>7442276
No, but their Facebook is usually filled with buzzfeed and radical feminist writers and Rothfuss.

>>7441738

>has a gf
>still socially awkward

heroin grants me volubility and confidence while leaving self-awareness largely intact so i could plausibly have a conversation, get her phone number, then inevitably sabotage things while sober

>>7442248
I met two once, they were both pretty cool in person to be honest. Then I added them on facebook and one of them is the most rabid, fucking insane SJW I have ever seen, like going on angry rants about all kinds of shit and replying over and over again to her own shit, it's like her facebook is her personal emotion dome, a complete 180 from her real life persona. The other one is also pretty vocal but there's not a lot of anger in her posts, and she's not nearly as insane as the first one.

>>7442313
>>7442313
Clothing stores are the ultimate normie territory, even some normies will feel self conscious while inside one.

It's all made to make you feel uncomfortable and want to get out as soon as possible, after you're in a store for a while the heat and lights start to get to you and you're more likely to make rash purchasing decisions just because you want to get out, I'm not making shit up this is legit their strategy

>>7442662
For me it usually just creates a nauseating atmosphere which makes me not want to try on or buy anything. But I guess they have enough people willing to shop randomly to offset the introverted or socially anxious group.

I don't care about public places like bars, government offices, hospitals, train stations or that dirty gas station toilet with blue lights to supposedly stop you from IVing drugs, but goddamn the clothing stores are evil.

>20 quid on fucking coffee.
Damn. Where do you live? Where I live you could buy around 20 espressos. Or 20 beers.

>>7439729
>talking to people who read on e-readers

top kek, no thanks, i don't want to get plebitis

>>7442248
90% of females i've met were pretty much:

a. Feminists
b. Leftists
c. Dumb whores(not saying that the other two aren't dumb tho)

>>7442082
>qt sitting in front of me in subway
>she's busty, I'm staring
>feel like I haven't fapped in months
>suddenly she looks u from her book
>sees me ogling her
>spaghettis on full alert
>remember this thread

"I'm just looking thanks"

>>7442248
No, it's a meme for life's failures. Congratulations on not being one, anon.

>>7439729
>talking to people unprompted in public
What are you, some kind of shitskin?

>>7439729
>£
"oi wanna 'av a cheeky shag"

>>7439729
do you have more of her?

>>7439729
F A T
A
T

>>7439760
>r9k
Oh man. What happened while I was gone

>tfw last time I used public transport an old guy just came near me and my friends and started talking about random shit
>tfw it was a fun and interesting experience
People should do this more often, desu senpai

>>7442892
Lies and propaganda.

>>7441543
>cringe

>>7442357

Like it fucking matters, in 15 minutes you'll be in your apartment alone wishing you would have said something. I don't think there are good odds you could have a decent conversation like this, but it could happen.

>>7442934
>but it could happen
This is the logic of people that buy lottery tickets.

>>7442845
Gay as fuck

>>7442939
lol, keep waiting for the absolute ideal conditions to chat up a girl, I'm sure you'll find the one in no time.

>riding public transit
>reading some book
>dude across from me starts talking to me
>he's really really fucking nice and peppy
>sure whatever I'll chat with him
>another dude boards
>sits next to me
>joins conversation
>is more autistic, focused, steers convo into his topic very quickly
>his topic happens to be how immigration is fucking this country
>has oddly specific information on how we're all fucked and multiculturalism has destroyed this land
>super nice guy can't handle it, just keeps getting bowled over
>reach my stop
>immigration dude is like WAIT
>hands both of us pamphlets from a huge stack
>not just one each, but a stack each, so that we can further spread the word
>they're all cartoons and infographics about how our politicians are ruining everything by bringing in the nigs
>check his website out when i get home
>he's a fairly prolific local "racist" who has been doing this for a while, goes on radio shows etc.
>meet nice guy again a few weeks later on a different train, by chance
>"haha hey remember that guy? turns out he was some weird racist!"
>mfw i have to be like "haha yeah!"
>mfw i have to pretend like i didn't agree with everything the guy said and that i didn't email him and offer my help in accessing information for his cause

>>7442849
Is it because I said "Chad"? I didn't think that was an /r9k/-exclusive meme.

>>7442951

>tfw literally Hamlet in every day-to-day activity

>>7442934
I agree with the anon you're responding to, in 15 minutes you'll have seen 3 pretty girls and twenty fuckable ones walking in the street or sitting in cafés.

>>7442962
Hamlet eventually made a move though. No, you're (as am I) more of a J. Alfred Prufrock.

>>7442955
>you'll never meet a crazy racist qt and help her distribute pamphlet until 11 because it's your day off tomorrow
>you will never agree to come to her home for a drink
>you will never avoid her eye in the elevator, trying to steer the conversation away from yourself but knowing, you and her, that you're gonna fuck
>you will never visit the racist qt's apartment with posters of her far right movement plastering the walls
>you will never be pushed violently on the bed before being jumped on by the qt racist crazy girl
>you will never penetrate her white hot vagina and thrust like an absolute madman
>you will never feel her soft white thighs and finger her bumhole while she mutters incoherently about immigrants ruining our homestead
>you will never rip off your mask and scream "I was a nigger all along!" before coming inside her and jumping through the window into the night

>>7442951
>if you don't take literally every chance it must mean that you take none at all!

>>7443022
Nice.

>>7443022
>tfw in your petty quest to shame an individual racist you still helped hand out record numbers of pamphlets
>tfw one of the pamphlet recipients was the next Hitler
>tfw niggers fail again

>>7443031

Read the comment I was replying to. My point is being in a crowded area is no reason to give up if no one knows you anyway. I already know you're going to say that justifies doing anything stupid in public, but this is literally just trying to make conversation.

>>7442955
i like how the very last line is the punchline. nice

>>7443059
I made the comment you were replying to.

>but this is literally just disturbing someone in their reading for my own selfish interests

>>7439785
>google it m8

>>7439857
this is probably the most literal oldfag board, except for maybe /k/. Other day a guy who had to be in his 70s was posting.

>>7443081

You win, don't talk to her. I'm glad we have such considerate people out there.

>>7443099
>tfw getting called a c.uck daily by 80-year olds

>>7443120
>c.uck
i have a feeling you mean somethign else by this

kek

>>7443120
some internet communities make you pay for that

>>7443115
>considerate
It's the bare minimum dude.

>>7443129
Well, yes, they also call me a pleb.

>h-hey what you r-read...
>[autism intensifies]
>walk out of the cabin leaving trail of spaghetti O's
>the event will replay itself in my head for the next 2 weeks

No thanks m8.
The chance of her wanting the D are way fucking low either way.
A girl like that probably has chads trying to stick their dicks up her nostrils every two seconds.

>>7443133
>there are too many people around in too tight a space to ever chat that babe up. would be uncomfortable for all involved
is now:
>this is literally just disturbing someone in their reading for my own selfish interests

Never talking to anyone is a great policy, everyone I know hates meeting new people.

>>7443191
Yeah, talking to complete strangers when they're busy is the only way to ever get to know anyone. No one has ever done it any other way.

>>7443214
>talking to complete strangers is the only way to ever get to know anyone
If you skip the busy part, yes, it literally is.

>>7443228
>skip the busy part
Which doesn't include this example.

>>7443179
>cabin

Is this what Americans call carriages?

>>7443246
>Americans

Is this what the bloody colonial rabble call themselves

want mo pics like dat
gimme

>>7443214
>can't talk to her, she's walking pretty quickly, probably rushing somewhere
>I was going to talk to that guy, but he just pulled his phone out of his pocket, probably sending an important email
>she's literally just sitting there, but she's staring off into space, probably deep in thought

This is what I meant by "waiting for the absolute ideal conditions."

>>7443289
>I don't have a social life to meet people through so my only chance is to harass strangers giving no sign of wanting me near them

what a time to be alive
You can argue with people you'll never meet about doing something you never did with a woman you'll never meet.

>>7443297
Except the bit about "people you'll never meet" this has been done throughout history.

>>7442934
>but it could happen.
if it doesn't happen ,it can never happen
Do you even determinism, nigga?

if she happened to notice me reading and seemed open to conversation then i would speak to her

>>7441543
>Hey gurl what are you reading there? Uhhh...but you are to pretty for reading good stuff like Pynchon anyway, right? Whatever you wanna get off with me here theres a coffeeshop and just in case my place is nearby if you know what I mean ;)
Not creepy at all.

>>7439729
Shes probabbly a big slut if you go ouside like that.
>tfw no slut gf

>>7439729
>spreading creepshots

>>7443297
beautiful, ain't it?

>>7443379
Does it trigger you?

Just so everyone's clear: It is perfectly acceptable to interrupt someone who is reading in public for a chat.

Also 'irregardless' is fine to use.

>>7439729
>spent most of the day in a library and then coffee shop
>reading and writing
>nobody talked to me
>i went home
best day of my life

>>7442357
If the first thing you said was 'how have you been?' that could be good. People around think you know each other.

>>7439883
>hey, so you're reading my book
>pretty good right?
>I hear the author's handsome as hell

>>7443611
amen brotha

>>7443611
"Because the pleasure of being all alone, with a book, is one of the greatest pleasures."
- William Gaddis

>>7443637

>>7443611
Living the real dream.

>>7443611

plus you get to see a qt on the metro to think about later when you are safe in your house

She's hamming it up for the guy standing taking the photo, leaning forward for cleavage presentation. The creeper is in if he tried something, which he likely didn't.

>You go home.
>You see this girl reading

I ask them what they are doing in my house.

>>7443656

or she doesn't want to touch the strangers she is sitting beside

>>7439729
I would probably say nothing and justify my refusal to act by assuming she's reading garbage, to paint her in a poor light and minimize the pain of accepting that my social retardation has prevented me from connecting with what could possibly be an attractive and intelligent girl. Fox, grapes, etc.

>live a life almost exactly like OP described
>see girls like this from time to time and ignore them even if they look at me

If I'm going to fuck it up with the girl anyway, I might as well not waste time that I could spend reading instead.

How do you move past "oh that's an interesting book" etc etc ?

>>7443716
begin insisting that the successor to postmodern is new sincerity
dont take no for an answer

>>7439729
start singing the opening song from the Lion King

>>7443738

Really embracing the meme inside and out here

>>7443663
He said go home, not at home.

>>7441504
kek

>>7442073
>drinking drip coffee

Are you poor or something?

>>7442662
>>7442690
Fat fucks.

>>7443879
>being such a pretentious faggot that he thinks it matters

>>7443911
That sounds an awful lot like a "yes."

>>7439729
I'd hand her one of these and wink knowingly.

>>7439760
everyone in subway calls you names; elderly people calling you expletives, baring their teeth
>baring their teeth
Kek'd fucking hard visualizing this

>>7444920
baring their dentures.

>>7442690
>buying your clothes from normie stores instead of flea markets and vintage collectors

pls at least try to live the literary lifestyle

>>7439821
I love the new album. Explain your statment?

>>7441852
I do this too. I hate it especially when they're sitting directly across from me so I'm FORCED to point my gaze elsewhere like at the floor, or the ads on top, or slightly beside them gazing out the window. I can never just look at them directly or else they will think I'm creepy

>>7444978

>I can never just look at them directly or else they will think I'm creepy

bro they'd rather have some nervous looking dude staring at them then a predator looking dude or a fucked up homeless guy. don't sweat small shit like that it doesn't matter.

>>7443344
>implying

Also what you said makes no sense.

>>7439760
get this fucking r9k tier shit off of my /lit/ faggot

>>7445091
>my /lit/
Fuck off you spaz.

>>7439760
I'm just imagining everyone in the subway car spitting and growling like dogs as you stand there trembling.

>Girl doesn't even realize what's happening, keeps reading her book

>>7439752
Lol can picture that

>>7439752
That is an E-tard. not a furry.

>>7443611
>been going to the library for years
>no one ever said anything to me
>haven't had a conversation with anyone close to five years now
>don't care

>>7445230
I'm going on two years of hermit status. I don't even text my old friends in austin anymore. They started talking about college, I got excited and sent them literally $300 worth of my books. Not a single book got read. Only one of those friends actually went to college, and gave up two weeks into it. Then started smoking meth again and went to jail and now is on probation, still smoking meth. When I told him that maybe as a father of a 1-year-old meth should be a second priority, he threatened me. And so I lost my last friend. Now i'm stuck in southern arizona which is a complete shithole and I do not go outside. I've gotten a LOT of reading done. Feels pretty good actually.

>>7439785
kek

>>7439790
You now remember that Harry Potter and Fifty Shades of Grey exist.

>>7445309
>Harry Potter and Fifty Shades of Grey

>>7439729
Don't worry you faggots, I got this.

>Wait patiently until she looks up from the book at some point and look straight at her.
>If she looks at me, let eyes meet and smile. She might smile back.
>If she does and doesn't break contact and signals she feels comunicative, I nod at her reader and ask what she's reading. Act interested regardless of what she says and ask her if it's good or if I know it strike a bit into that field before moving on to 'where are you from/are you living here?' to talk about spots in the city.
>If she doesn't signal she wants to talk, I leave her be for the time, but I'll go off the same spot she does and try to approach her again near the exit, again trying to make eye contact and smile and then go 'Hey', should she smile back this time

>>7439729
>that guy next to her

>You've just spent most of the day in a library and then coffee shop, spending over £20 on coffees while reading and writing.

I think I'd be more concerned with killing myself

>>7439729
>Everyone on the train is silent.
>I start in a loud and clear voice:

"So, a bear walks into a bar..."
>I have now everbody's attention, also the girls.
>I continue but I look straight at her for the rest of this.

"He asks the bartender for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't give beer to bears in bars."
So the bear replies, "If you don't give me a beer, I'll eat that lady over there."
>I glance at the lady sitting next to her as I say this.

"The bartender says, "Go ahead."
>Slight pause. And in looking back at the girl I go:
"So the bear eats the lady and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't give beer to bears on drugs."
>Slightly longer pause for suspense.
"What do mean," asks the bear. "I'm not on drugs."
>I lean in towards her for the punchline.
"Yes, I assure you you are," goes the bartender. "For that was the bar's coke bitch you just ate."

>>7442640
this

>>7445397
Or -Same strategy, slightly different approach:

"A Mexican walks into a bar."
>[Pause]
"He gets himself and his cousins hired on as bartenders, putting the other bartenders out of work."
>[Pause. Look around. Then continue, slowly trailing of into a pensive tone]
"Then his wife has like nine kids in the bar..."
>[Look to ground. Fall silent. Shake head.] "Damn it... This used to be a really nice bar."
>[Exit the train, looking thoughtful.]

>>7445397
Jfc he actuall thought this would generate laughter

>>7445435
Are you not entertained?

>>7445397
>"For that was the bar's coke bitch you just ate."

What a shitty fucking joke.

>>7445397
What a bizzare joke...I'll admit I actually laughed quite a bit just at the absurdity of its place in this thread and the responses it got..thanks anon

>>7439729
>increase core body temperature
>increase my heart rate
>begin sending gas to my lower intestine
>the train cab fills with the smell of acrid sweat
>people wince at the stench of cabbage farts
>everyone's getting uncomfortable and restless
>she finally looks up making eye contact
>open my mouth as she does
>begin saying something but can only say "aaahhhh"
>a mass of buzzing locusts exit my mouth
>everyone starts screaming and pushing away from me
>the bugs get into her hair and under her blouse
>she's crying as the pests bite into her flesh
>my face turns red
>"this ride will never end" I say morosely
>everyone screams even louder

>>7445818
9/10 would read again.

>>7445818

>>7442640
Just don't not be on heroin then

>>7445818
upboated

>>7445818
This is definitely lit

>>7445818
iktfbb

>implying I would ever talk to a girl

>>7447095
>>>/r9k/

>>7440912
>It's like they have no one left to talk to and know I have to be nice to them
Protip: they have no one left to talk to and know you have to be nice to them

>>7447095
>tfw you embrace apathy and your own cocktail of personality and mental disorders and learn to love the strike-out
>tfw you chat up women and run over every awkward silence and implied rejection by just resubmitting your application and being more aggressively social
>tfw it starts to work
>tfw you start to get laid despite being an autistic manchild
>tfw you realize women are interested in novelty for novelty's sake, because they constantly bombarded by suitors who are at various points on the beaten path of Suitor Quality, and anyone off the beaten path instantly gets some notice as long as he isn't Rape McGillicuddy or wearing a MLP shirt
>tfw learning to harness your off-the-pathness and leverage it more efficiently, downplaying the parts that are more MLP shirt territory and highlight the parts that are good
>tfw developing "drunken master"-esque crouching autist style of hookup game
>tfw becoming a notorious manwhore despite being a weird unpleasant retard who dresses like Chrischan and doesn't know how to shave
>tfw learning to channel your aspergers like chi, aligning your chakras and eventually mastering the kamehameha

>>7447121
>resubmitting your application
what did you mean by this

>>7445818
>begin sending gas to my lower intestine

lost

>>7439729
I wouldn't use the euro because I'm American for starters.
Second I wouldn't spend more then $12 on coffee for one day.
Thirdly, I wouldn't be on the subway, I'd be driving pic related home.
There isn't even a metro in any direction for at least 50 miles.

>>7447136
not him, but he probably meant
>just do it again

>>7447271
sorry for assuming not asking about ptp

>>7441543
and you typed this thinking you were some paragon of flirtation and relationships.
truely hilarious.

>>7439729
Id read her Joyces fart letters

I don't know senpais, its already difficult enough to find people that you truly can connect with among those you interact with frequently. Plus girls you see around you have like at least 85% chance of already being in a relationship. Don't think it's really worth it.

>>7441543
>based on her clothes
What if it's summer and the heat is scorching tho.

>>7447316
>It's summer. I should expose my cunt to strangers to cool off.

Femanon detected. God hates you, whore.

>>7447121
Please teach me your ways

>>7447121
I couldn't come up with a better example of Hegelian dialectics if I tried.

>>7447320
Is this satire or are you really this assblasted over an implication that was never made?

>>7445397
masterpiece
you have to be a cynical to appreciate

>>7445397
That's fucking terrible.

That's one of the worst I've ever read desu senpai

I am loyal to my gf but i'd still stare at her like a dog in heat

I'm a pig and i admit it

love wimen

I spared the Eplilogue of this for the night of my 23th Birthday (which is today). I love it, and i think it will be hard to leave it behind, since it was a honourable companion in a godless time of my life.

Still being apprehensive of remaining in a lightless nightmare.

>share your benevolent wisdom about The K-Bros with me by giving me your honorouble mentions about it
>the book made me more religious in a carthatic way
>Liked to proceed on Dostojeski which shall be the next

Keep in mind it's my birthday hence you're all invited to this /lit/-thread party. Lean back and dump

>>7439729
>coffees

>>7445397
Is this a meme I missed out on, or does nobody know the actual punchline to this joke?

>>7439729
Check out what she's reading, and slap her in the face for not being in the kitchen where she belongs


then pump Jamal's dick in prison for physical assault

>>7442342
The crisis of reading context deepens when anon can't distinguish an online joke from a carefully documented event.

>protagonist syndrome

neat buzzword. enjoy isolation.

Categorical imperative bitches.

interrupting an individual that is exercising the brain is evil.

>>7439729
She looks too old desu

>>7439758

>>7441504
saved

>>7442070
jesus fuck why is every image on this thread making me kek

>>7445237
>Now i'm stuck in southern arizona which is a complete shithole and I do not go outside.

...a-a-are you me?

>>7445237
>>7448756
Tucson? (i'm not the original poster but i'm in AZ also, so)

>>7439805
I made a friend at Uni when I noticed him reading Under The Volcano.
I walked up and said 'H-hey I like Lowry, hehe'
He frowned at first, but must have realised that it was an opportunity to make a friend and we we ended up talking about random shit.
I think we were both too insecure to say what we thought of the book.

>>7447186
>American
>good public transportation

Pick 1

>>7439854
I saw Joseph Heller at a book store in Coney Island back in the 90's. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, “Open your eyes?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” whilst nudging me with elbow and looking at a girl in a tight dress. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him whisper 'Why is Hitler' as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to buy fifteen boxes of codeine.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, do you really want more codeine.” At first he kept yawning tired and seemed not to hear her, but eventually looked up and said 'What else is there?'

When she took one of the boxes and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around to me and said 'be thankful you're healthy'. After she scanned each box and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

How is this thread still going on? :/

>>7448780
>living in a state where there is about 3 million people
>nearly half of those live in the area the metro services
There's busses for the other areas with decent population.
When states are as big as European countries and with as many people as live in one European city, it isn't productive to have a subway everywhere

>>7448767
holy shit I need that beautiful elf boy painting.

>>7445158
Yeah....
Because it's all happening in your mind as an allegory for social anxiety

>>7448773
That's cute, do you suck each other off?

>>7447186
>I wouldn't use the euro because I'm American for starters.

>he can't tell the pound sign from the euro sign

>>7448796
There are no better threads.

I suggest we use this zombie thread to post pics of bimbos reading

>>7448773
Well done anon.

How'd ya like the book? I thought it was a slow start, but every chapter got better and better, the stylistic writing of the Consul's chapters are great.

>>7444978
Fucking trams man.

>>7447121
>developing "drunken master"-esque crouching autist style of hookup game
Teach me sensei

>>7449301
I'm down with that

If I was really inclined to talk to her, I would wait for the train to get empty, or wait for her to get off and then follow her to an emptier place and then rape her

>>7443022
Bravo. This is one of the last forms of anarchy left

>>7449378
Reported your IP to the FBI faggot, enjoy prison.

>>7445397
>every fucking mumblecore movie ever

>>7448186
>enjoy isolation
Enjoy being a parasite on your immeditate surroundings. And please tell me, how the fuck does someone look like they want to be talked to when reading a book?

>>7445818
Kafkaesque

>>7439729
I'd ask her whether or not she considers her handbag clothing or not.
There's no way that conversation could possibly go wrong.

>>7449942
I don' get it.

>>7449301
where's your pic of a cutie reading?

>>7450086
How would you define clothing?

>>7450201
Why would you ask that?

>>7439729

>Me: Nice airbags there, ma'am.
>Her: Excuse me?
>Me: I said, NICE AIRBAGS THERE. Ma'am.
>Her: (looks uncomfortable, ignores me)
>Me: I was talking about your BOOBS.
>Her: ...
>Me: I mean, dayum! They're huge!
>Her: ...
>Passenger: Leave her alone.
>Me: What? You think so too, don't you? Wouldn't you just kill for a good squeeze?
>Passenger: No, I wouldn't.
>Me: Liar.
>(Uncomfortable silence)
>Me: I see you have a whats-it-called tablet there. Kindle! Kindle. Whatcha readin' on da kindle dere?
>Her: ...
>Me: Is it a book about boobs? How to get cowtits? Ten steps to get ten gallons?
>Her: ...
>Me: A cowbook. Moooo...
>The next stop, anon is arrested.

>>7450265
I want to read this book.

>>7450265
Worth it.

>>7450207
Y-you too

>>7450326
?

>>7441940
This is a pretty good strategy, but only if you have a semblance of confidence allowing you to maintain eye contact.

>>7441940
>>7450405
>she will confront me about it and start a conversation
>"Why are you staring at me?"
How do you answer?

>>7450424
>y-you too

>>7450424
Counter with:
>Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

>>7450424
>"you look familiar, and I don't usually forget gorgeous girls, have we met before?"

>>7447955

the punchline is usually "the bar bitch you ate."

>>7450463
Top fedora.

>>7450534
What can I say, I'm a true *adjusts glasses as light reflects on them* gentleman.

>>7439729
>Do you talk to her?
I'm not a perverted creep, so no.

>>7450424
C-cute f-f-feet

>Cause a subtlety loud distraction, wink at her while everyone looks
So ugh........how about that Trump, aye?

Absolute madman. Am I right?

>>7451042
>talking to people makes you a creep

>>7451499
It depends on the context.

>>7451499
>You mean a woman doesn't like it when I pull off her headphones on the subway?" he might say. "What if I stand too close? She doesn't like that either? It's like you can't even talk to anyone without being labeled as sex predator anymore! Damn feminism!

>>7439760
heh, manajerks, amirite?

>>7439782
>She's reading. I leave her alone. There's absolutely no honest thing I can say to her to start something other than "hey, we both share the oldest hobby since sumaria, which everyone does and i'm now keeping you from doing"

>implying I don't want people on the subway to talk to me about what I'm reading if I'm reading a book

>implying human beings don't like meeting people and talking to them

The only thing I don't like about "hey whatcha readin" is that there's always an ulterior motive. "well if you like reading you should check out this here pamphlet" or the aforementioned "I wanna fuck your tits"

>>7451583
>>implying I don't want people on the subway to talk to me about what I'm reading if I'm reading a book
I don't.
>>implying human beings don't like meeting people and talking to them
No it didn't.

>>7451513
>implying I said it was ok to do those things
Nice autism.

>>7451743
>talks to people when they're reading
>calls others autistic

>>7451774
>implying an autistic person would say anything anyway
Besides I personally wouldn't say anything. But saying someone who would is a weirdo is fucking retarded dude.

>>7451963
>saying "don't disturb people when they're busy" makes you a retard

>>7452069
it does though