/lit/ - Literature

no

Still debating if I want to start my own business. I have been given the advice that I need to go out into the world more (and get a job), but I don't want to. I want to do my own thing.

>>9856960
>making someone else money

Don't fall for this meme, friend.

the invisible woman did nothing wrong

Bunda

>>9856965

I don't want to. I'm a NEET but I have a tiny bit of capital for the business I want to start. She does make the point that I do need some "real world experience" and I don't really disagree with that. I just don't want to sell my time to someone else ever again.

These threads are nothing but blogging and /soc/faggotry.

Nothing's on my mind, because the mind is intangible. To be on something requires gravitational contact (physical contact is impossible as we understand in quantum mechanics, only gravity can touch).

As a straight heterosexual male, I want to sex with a cute heterosexual male. Does that make me gay?

>>9857009
Then go to the IRC and complain to the mods about them.

>>9857040
Yes.

>>9856975
what do you mean girardfag?

i like fanfiction

>>9856975
i want to get into girard but all his books are so expensive, why doesn't he have a mass market paperback that i can get for 99 cents plus shipping, fuck this 35 bucks shit

>>9857304
i mean i guess we could talk about baudrillard & lacan & seduction & the feminine mystique & so on

but sometimes a cigar is just a cigar you know

maybe reed richards had the right idea

>>9856960
i feel you, but here's the thing about that, if you dont have the perseverence to go out and land a job, do you think you can do all the shit you need to do to start a business? which means recruiting workers, tirelessly marketing yourself, cultivating relationship with investors and journalists, etc.

when steve jobs was just a random stinky hippy in the bay area he walked into atari and told them he wasn't leaving until they gave him a job, as you can see even as a fruititarian buddhist he had massive balls

What should I name the equit fund me and two friends are forming?

I'm thinking something Greek, but I'm not sure yet.

>>9857328
although i did cop that two hour lecture on sacrifice that's on audible for five bucks, p dank but it was just taste

https://www.audible.com/pd/Nonfiction/Sacrifice-Breakthroughs-in-Mimetic-Theory-Audiobook/B00E1OURFO/

>>9856960
get real world experience by taking action on your goals. but you won't do that because you're a pussy asking for life advice on chins.

>>9857328
just steal it from yarr matey, he won't mind.
you know catholics
they're not into guilt

>>9857345
noice, might have to check that out. thank ye sir

seriously tho look at this shit. the fantastic four were legit pretty fantastic. batman ofc is where it's at today & spider man is in a state of permanent adolescence

but the fantastic four were fucking adults. Reed and Sue are like the only goddamn functioning adults out there with a stable marriage. they're mutants, whatever. it's not a thing. they live

i must be getting old that this is now what appeals to me about marvel comics

cannot find a flaw with sue storm
good shit reed
good job my man

>>9857333
shit I'm still on Aristotle

I cant write simple messages to girls on websites like interpals.
Im too afraid i will kill the conversation or that im too boring.

>>9857040

What if I told you... you could be sexually attracted to both?

>>9857076
Hmm. I don't think so. I mean it's only when the guy is cute you know?

>>9857419
do you think gay people don't have preferences?

>>9857389
you don't have to go in order, you know. just read whatever you like.

i mean i say this b/c i am self-taught with all this & obviously it shows. i'm pretty much settled now on what i like & think is cool but honestly i recommend just reading what you like. do what you gotta do for school or whatever but philosophy is so dope that it's not worth it to put off the good stuff for too long

whatever tho. it's all good

fantastic four yo. we should be embarrassed that we don't make superheroes this fucking awesome anymore

>>9857427
in university incoming freshmen all do survey courses that use mostly secondary sources and a couple primary readings, maybe that's where this "you have to read every scrap of paper produced by the ancient west" misunderstand comes from the fact that so many on here are not formally educated

like that poor bastard slash dumbass kid reading through aristotles collected works, it's like most of that shit is garbage only useful to people doing a grad degree specifically on aristotle, just read the extracts that actually had influence and aren't totally retarded, for literary theory that means the part about the stages of tragedy ending with catharsis etc. because it contradicts augustine's shit about how tragedies are some kind of evil shit to manipulate your emotions or whatever, granted augustine was writing a long ass time after aristotle in a totally different region, but this is the kind of extract from aristotle that matters, not some kind of queer speculation about hippopatamus dicks or something

>>9857418
As long as I'm not gay.

>>9857425
Of course they do, but I'm not one of them.

>>9857427
> sue storm
> intelligence

>>9856987
What business would you like to get in to?

>>9856987
>I just don't want to sell my time to someone else ever again.

you're creating free content for the owner of 4chan right now

>>9857492
your bait is shitting up the thread

>>9857613

>>9857613
This post hurt my feelings :(

>>9857575

I'm the anon that wants to start a worm farm.

I was just called a 'slut' for going to the movies with a friend that has a relationship with another girl. Nothing happened, of course nothing happened since I just wanted to enjoy the movie with someone that also would appreciated the film. I feel terribly sorry.

>>9856945
I want to die but I don't want to hurt my family or make things inconvenient for them

>>9857744
well that's what you get for going out with your biscum friends on pride wknd. nice dubs tho

>>9857744
I'm pretty sure there are worse things in life than getting called names.

my dad died when i was pretty young so i was raised by a single mother for most of my life. i had no father figure around and i think it has hurt my ability to form relationships with people. now im 23 and never had anything close to a girlfriend. i asked some girl i met in class out for drinks, she said yes and we settled on a date. after leading me on for 2 weeks she texts me the night before and says she doesn't want to hang out anymore, doesn't give any reason, and i'm pretty sure she blocked my number since she hasn't texted me back since. it might sound like a stupid thing to get emo over but it would have been a big step for me, even if nothing else came of it. now i can't get out of this self deprecating slump and im back to drinking heavily again every night, not really because of the rejection (i've faced that before many times), but because it's hard to feel like anyone has any respect for me, even when i do try. sorry 4 blog

>>9857926

The ending of II Kings has made me more depressed than anything in a long time

>>9857561
Ya know this does bother me a bit that they're trying to make Sure Storm somehow the intellectual equal of Reed Richards, smartest man in the galaxy.
Cause part of what made FF so endearing was that Reed loved Sue simply for being such a good person, with a good heart. She wasn't some fucking super brain that traded barbed quips with him like all these modern comic writers seem to think love is.
They just loved each other.

>>9857744
what film tho

Meditation didn't go that well today. Boo.

>>9856945
I'm too scared of change, and I'll never get better.

I spend hours a day thinking about how I'll change my life for the better. But I know I won't. My whole life has been a decline morally and health-wise.

i spent a bunch of money on "authentic" chinese food not that fried chicken bullshit they sell in the hood and it was salty and gave me a headache, fucking waste of my life

I'm in the process of planning a Sci-FI story wherein a bunch of aliens that never did research with uranium/plutonium (this species would be VERY susceptible to radiation) discover an abandoned Earth's nuclear weapons, The story would revolve around the crew of the ship that discovers them and how different people would react to that newfound power. Problem is I'm afraid that the premise sounds dumb.

>>9858757
what "new found power"? if they never were aware of it before they're not going to know what it is, remember that family of brazilian thieves who stole an x-ray machine from a hospital and let their daughter play with the radioactive gunk that was in it? that's all that's going to happen

i want to choke on a white cock

>>9858763
The idea would be that they never bothered with dealing with uranium because they had so little of it on their home planet. Then they'd come to Earth, and accidentally set one of the weapons off, demonstrating the value in them that they didn't know existed.

>>9858777
oh i see, so would it be some kind of allegory for muslims in the 3rd world building a dirty bomb or something, i guess it could have potential

I'm completely head over heels for a girl.
My cheek still tingles where she kissed me
God I hope my autism doesn't screw this up

>>9859466
ahh to be young again, i still get horny, but it's more of a chore than a thrill at this point

>post bullshit to random boards trying to get banned
>people reply to it

kill me now

>>9856945

So we had pretty much hit the wall, and we're staring at this contract like paralyzed until Pinkweiner just says goes, "I mean what's more punk rock than selling out?"

And we were like, "What? What did you say?"

And he's all, "Like, think about it. What's more punk rock than turning your back on everyone who ever supported you? Anyone can give a finger to the establishment. Who the fuck out there gives a finger to their fans?"

And then Von started cracking up and then I was the next one to get it and pretty soon we were sitting on the floor of our shitty little apartment veritably pissing and we were like, "That's the best thing we've ever heard," so we signed and from that point on RENAL FAILURE was punk's answer to punk. We got haircuts, tailored suits. We started writing songs about, like, how capitalism is the fastest way to kick-start developing nations, how Law Enforcement Officers are public servants who deserve respect... our big hit was "Genuflect to Your Superiors"... we never went full NatSoc because that would have been too counter-culture. Just safe, like, Fox News style neocon. And the whole time sales just kept going up and up because we'd switched over to this four-four, accent on two and four I-IV-V structure and I guess people weren't listening to the lyrics anyway.

But oh, God, were the OG fans pissed. We had to get a P.O. Box and start living in the camper van again because we kept getting letter bombs. I almost lost a finger opening what I thought was a sampler of chocolate-covered walnuts. That was about three years ago, so most of the real Kazcynski wannabe's have moved on to, like, mailing flour to politicians and claiming it's anthrax or something, but we still get the occasional death threat. We used to save all of them, I think I still have a box of my favorites in, like, some storage container in fuckin' Iowa or someshit.

>>9856945
Worried the world is going to plunge into a dystopian hellhole where all freedom of thought and speech is silenced by large conglomerate corporations pushing censorship and engaging in social engineering that creates maoist tier disasters in western society.

My worst fear is that humanity evolves into something that resembles nothing like humanity as we know it. A perversion of what we could have been had we not engineered ourselves into a nightmare.

I'm plagued with anxiety about it even though personal experience has shown me that my fears tend not to be as bad as the reality.

I like feeling hands crushing my larynx. I like knives being held against me. I become abnormally aroused when threatened. I want to be controlled.

>>9859787
That's pretty gay dude

>>9859922
Maybe I should resume writing everything from a male perspective again.
OK, here it goes.

I like the feeling of my hands crushing her larynx. I like to hold knives against her. I become abnormally aroused when threatening her. I want to control her.

bu

>>9859929
That's better brother, much love HH

>>9859787
I hate women so much

need job

I just want a little bit of affection, goddammit.

Did I really ever think that I could rationalize myself into happiness? Make all these miscellaneous depressing thoughts into something that feels important? It's not true. I can't. There's this little burst of pleasure when you put two and two together, sometimes, but with that comes worse things, like thoughts that insert themselves onto any person or thing vaguely artistic so you can't help but think of them when you're relaxing or while at work and it changes the mood from tedium to downright bleak. You can vent about it anonymously for months, but eventually it becomes clear that the only way out of this pit is to go back the way you came, and undo those thoughts.

This sounds like a lot of pretentious bullshit, but it happened. I still get those thoughts cropping up sometime, the ones that point out how mediocre the past few years have been, and I get the urge to dive right in and try to make sense of them. Now, I either reject them or approach them unemotionally because I know where they lead. It's weird doing that, and almost kind of sad, but when you know what you've got to do to be happy, there's no point in doing anything else.

im thinking about becoming an anonymous underground poet and uniting the masses to protect free speech. if we dont do something soon we're all just going to be shopping algorithms in service of material pleasure

I don't do things because I'm afraid of wasting time and yet I keep wasting it anyway due to my chronic indecisiveness.

>>9856945
It can't be too hard to write something to pay the bills, right?

>>9859592
this started off a little cliche but got better towards the end. the final image of a collection of death threats resonated with me.

I'm still not sure what to make of all the political developments in 2016, but man, posting on /pol/ during it all was one of the most entertaining times I've ever had on 4chan. It was as good as Geass Sundays on /a/.

I've been lied to, by myself for all my life.

>>9861372
how?

>>9861374
About life and my role in it as a man.

I'm utterly hopeless when it comes to women.

I have a STEM master's degree and no job. 6'3" fit and good looking but I'm a virgin. My life is full of absurdities.

>>9862092
>>9862248
No wonder your women are having to resort to fuck niggers and immigrants, grow some fucking balls.

>>9862248
Just fuck a hooker if you're going to get this memed by tacit initiations to manhood.

The only half decent thread on lit dies with less than 150 replies.

I've been thinking about being a writer for awhile now, but I feel like I don't have the skills to do it.
I write how I think and I trap myself in some sort of mentality in which I convince myself to not do it even though I want to.

>>9856945
i keep uninstalling tinder because I'm not over my gf, but i keep reinstalling it when i get horny

i legitimately feel like getting a girlfriend is impossible as the person i am

>>9863429
>>9863331
>>9862248
>>9862092

You can't hurry love. No, you'll just have to wait. Just trust in a good time, no matter how long it takes.

Man, I really oughta thank girardfag.

I don't know what's worse: never trying or failing over and over and never succeeding.

>>9863485
They're both the same problem. Truly, you can fail only once. And if you don't keep trying trying, you never tried. Look for what makes each mistake unique and what makes them the same will dissolve.

What would be truly brutal would be trying and never failing.

>>9863429
Same. I feel like there are definitely normal, non-hideous and non-autistic people who just develop psychological quirks or complexes or fears that eventually make it impossible for them to engage intimately with other people, and they just end up going through life alone, because that's simply how it is for them, and they can't fathom making the leap to anything else. And it's not some grandiose tragic thing, either. It's just about missing the boat by accident, or by being too reluctant to be vulnerable, or whatever, until the window has closed and you've fallen behind and can't catch up to everyone else. I'm starting to worry that's me, too, anon.

>>9863498
Jesus christ anon. How did you pinpoint my fears so acutely?

Maybe Wallace was right. Is sincerity the answer? How do I tear down this shield of ironic detachment? What even is sincerity?

>>9860715

thanks i could feel myself hitting a bit of a stride as i was writing it. definitely ends stronger than it starts. ill do a few rewrites of it and see if i can't get it more consistent.

>>9863511
I'm worried that there isn't an answer, and it's just about taking chances and ruining that sense of clean, internal life-narrative that we have.

>>9863498
>>9863511
>>9863520
I an't deaf y'know.

>>9863520
Sounds difficult. Sounds like a lot of work. Maybe I'll stay inside instead. It's nice here.

I think it was more than two months ago I made a commitment to say the Rosary every day; I am a practicing Catholic and I wanted to follow the wishes of Our Lady of Fatima. It started as something I had to remember to make time for, but now it's an incredible moment of peace and focus in my day. I actually find myself wanting to say the Rosary more often. I feel more humble and devoted to God since I began doing it, also.

>>9858008
Silver age comics were great
http://zak-site.com/Great-American-Novel/

Not usually one to freak out about death, and I find funerary practices interesting, but i was looking through pictures of celebrities that had open casket funerals and i saw the river phoenix one and even though i've never seen any movie he's in, i got short of breath and just stared at my computer screen freaking out. then it just went away. huh.

>Manage a fast food restaurant
>Multi million dollar business with 30+ employees
>Above average salary and own my own house
>Family constantly gives me shit for it and calls me burger boy
>Brother sells used Mitsubishis and lives in his girlfriend's parent's basement
>No one talks shit about him
>All because at some point society decided fast food was for subhuman shitbags

I can't stand that adjective--vital. As if one constructed houses with living trees or made meals with living animals. It calls forth this vision of the naked bodily life, as if somehow our nails and hair were living tissue only because they grow, and the planet were uneventful despite never stopping. And how precious life becomes, when it is made so small!

Not all that grows
Breathes
Not all that flows
Wreathes
Not all that crows
Quethes
Not all that glows
Seethes

>>9863498
>there are definitely normal, non-hideous and non-autistic people who just develop psychological quirks or complexes or fears that eventually make it impossible for them to engage intimately with other people, and they just end up going through life alone, because that's simply how it is for them, and they can't fathom making the leap to anything else.

>>9863473
yo

i'm supposed to be on a self-imposed vow of /lit/ silence the rest of this month. silence is a good look for me atm. very rewarding. am cheating on it to respond

there's no need. gratitude is good but i will take this comment and transmogrify it: thank yourself on my behalf. render causality a little more free. thank yourself for something. i am a ttc-reading, neoplatonist-admiring, post-accelerationist traveling defective-sphinx roadshow now b/c of this site. this site and no other. all praises be to /lit/ & cool anons like you for the many many thoughtful conversations here in which a few mysterious knots were untangled

i love the dark now. wholly and not partially. laozi did nothing wrong. i have 200K+ words of schizo hijinx on a file on my PC and someday it will be all finished in a wonderful big meme & sacrificed to the amazon gods for a sexy $3.99. do not hold your breath for this

in the meantime life continues to be impossible. i think that's the point

will be back later ofc. once i figure what i want to get fucked up over next

girardfag@gmail.com

When I'm well again and mental illness-free, I want to write a long article about it so I can make peace with it, and because I've never seen anyone else try to put in words the extreme confusion and hopelessness that this problem brings.

>>9858661
what did you get? if you're not buying authentic Sichuan food, ya done fucked up

>>9864416
Who the fuck are you?

My diet for the past couple of days consisted of nothing but coffee and fruit and water.

Whatever makes the lymph nodes in my throat swell, it's something in alcoholic drinks. I'm not sure it's the alcohol itself, it mostly happens when I drink beer.
I went to the doc and he did a blood test and said it might be an allergic reaction but he wasn't sure. Allergic reaction to beer. Hops maybe? Or maybe it's just cancer.

Next days I get off I'm gonna watch Pierrot le Fou by Godard.
Though I'm probably just gonna end up watching Roseanne episodes over and over and over again until I fall asleep listening to Bruce Springsteen.
I wanted to pick up running again but leaving the house is so disgusting. Being in the middle of a career and residence change is not the best time to feel so fucking anti-social.
I have loads of unanswered text messages from people that I continue to ignore and I've been out of toothpaste for three days but don't wanna go to the store.

It's my mothers birthday on Thursday. That rhymed. I don't know what to get her. All she does is smoke and drink and watch TV.

There's this cute blonde 24 year old at my work place working as an engineer, she has a degree in electrical engineering.
My two main activities at work are drinking all the office coffee and trying not to stare at her.
Nightshift is the worst. I used to like it, now it's just terrible. Working 7 days a week is terrible. 12 hour shifts are terrible. Working at an assembly line is terrible.

This morning I was woken up by a loud weird noise coming from somewhere in the house and I left my room to check, wearing nothing but boxers, and there stood a chimney sweeper with a big grey mustache in front of me.
Funny how they still look like they always did, all in black with big boots and a big tophat. I said good morning and went back to sleep.

>>9856945
I wish I could masturbate more, but I can't get satisfaction from more than once per day

>>9864853
Might be an allergic reaction to gluten. You eat much bread?

I don't understand how women functions, mentally and psychically and consider them an alien race and it's the reason why I can't write anything related to them.

>>9865038
Well, for one, women don't tend to "love" men like men do women. Men might make them feel secure, turn them on or they might pity them, but it never gets to the point of completely wanting the object of love in its whole like men do when they keep going surpass their lust. Your best bet for a woman's love is to be childish without being submissive.

Women are also more obedient, don't care about doing 'bout doing what they're being told if it's the right person. They don't have the kind of pressure men feel.

That's the broad strokes. Stray away from the at your own leisure.

>>9865030
Yes I do. Always have. Also always have drank beer. This reaction is new.

>>9857635
This is a cool pic I like it a lot and I'm probably gonna save it for later use

I broke up a week ago, I haven't been able to properly read anything since and I still want to kill myself. Even more.

>>9865380
Do it.

>>9865380
You broke up what?

>>9863498
ya definitely, i'm like that, i've just been alone so long that when i do hook up with some chick and have an option to developer a stronger relationship i just don't, it's too weird having this other person that you have to remember to tell everything and ask everything, can't get into it, even tho in theory it seems great, idk, that ship has sailed, still might find some rando white chick and have a bunch of white kids just to fuck with democrats, muslims, mexicans, and everyone else counting down the days till whites go instinct, but only if i have the extra cash for it

>>9865391
Once I get home at the end of the month probably. If I were to do it now I'd put a lot of people into trouble, including 2 kids.

>>9865415
A person I spent 11 years of my life.

>>9865831
Kek
>getting married in the 21st century

Yoshiyuki Tomino, despite his shortcomings, is the only Japanese directeur I'm aware of that shows what needs to be shown rather than make a show. He's the only one not trapped by artistry, history, biography, speculation, society or libido. He's the only one with a groundedness that allows him to craft characters, problems and scenes that he can dispose of when the need arises and without a lingering attachment.

>>9858661
This comment made my day.

Supposedly, the sticky on /r/ dates from the year 208 AD. Quite impressive when you think about it.

>>9865864
>never seen Takahata's world masterpeace theatre

>>9866160
I've seen Kaguya and Grave of the Fireflies. They were beautiful, but they didn't have what I'm talking about. Plus, isn't WMT all adaptations.

it is 32 hours since I said to her that she has to go and I am already anxiety and despair free

>>9866211
go where?

I'm 24 and I'm a nobody, and I wish I knew who I am. My life doesn't make any sense and is complete chaos

I wish I knew what I really want and if I really want it or it's something that I'm supposed to want

>>9863511
>posting my nigga ryohei

I have a gf that is a virgin and she lives in another country, and she's madly in love with me, but I don't give a fuck about her because she's boring. I wanted to break up with her because the only reason I'm with her in the first place, is because I wanted to deflower a woman at least once in my lifetime, but that's not happening any time soon so what's the point? And today I got a love letter from her. Also I'm a mentally ill NEET

also she's the only person in my life other than my parents

>>9866265
you're an asshole. Break up with her now. Leave her find someone that will love her back, don't be selfish.

>>9866287
Yeah I know I'm an asshole but I don't know what love means to be honest. I told her I love her so maybe I do. I don't hate her

>>9866300
>I don't give a fuck about her because she's boring
???

You don't talk in that way about the person you love, anon. Think again. Love is also respect, thing that it seems you don't have for her.

>>9866240
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPVKRMEE2gY

>>9866265
Grow the fuck up. Either stop wasting her time or througly take her.

>>9860243
What makes you think this is a woman (or at least associate such fantasies with women)?

I'm just asking because I find the female psyche incredibly interesting and confusing, and I myself have always wondered why women are are so into shit like rough sex, BDSM, and being "dominated".

Throughout my life I have lived in 3 countries. This makes me an eternal outsider and unable to relate to most of the people, and I don't have a strong grasp on my identity at all

I'm a vagabond. I don't have any friends or a sense of community

>>9856945
>looked for a job for 5 months
>finally got one after seriously, unironically looking very hard
>after 5 months I actually got accepted into university to finish my masters degree
>never thought it would be possible as I did pretty badly on my masters
>but here I am
>had to give up my job because of this

Not a big problem since I get more than enough money from the state for studying at the university but still. Feels like a year of effort thrown out into the trash. I mean I'm just a waiter now but I worked hard for it, but of course, in the long run its better that I get my masters.

>>9866411
Same except just cities. I guess as long as you just dont stay in your community it will be the same.

>>9866400
It's pretty obvious such fantasies are feminine in nature.

>>9856945
I hate that I relate to the pic
I hate that this is cliche.
And so forth.

>>9866411
Which countries?

>>9866459
Poland, Italy and England

I want to write so many different topics and genres, but it takes so long to actually finish a novel. Maybe I should just write vignettes and short stories.

>>9866493
Start with that and see if they are recieved well

I have become completely and utterly disillusioned by the society that we live in. A world run by greed and self indulgence. People have forgotten how to live freely enjoying the love of friends and family around them, they have forgotten how to live simply how to desire for only the basic necessities of living. We have all been sold a lie, a lie that tells us we all need to have a career and a future filled with material wealth, a new house, a new car, a beautiful wife and loving kids. We have all been given a broken ladder to happiness. We need to get off and reevaluate our society, we need to begin focusing on true simple happiness.

>>9866503
Not quite true. You see, the world has ALWAYS been like this. You're only now starting to see it.

>>9866411
Same here. It's always really weird when I meet someone new and they ask where I'm from. I never know what to say and I find myself giving different answers to everyone.

I still dream of going somewhere new, a different country where I'll finally feel comfortable. It's a very juvenile feeling and I know it doesn't work like that but I can't help it. Feels like some kind of curse that makes me want to keep moving.

>>9866539
What am I supposed to do, I cant contribute to a society I don't philosophically believe in.

>>9866539
I was about to post the same but more elaborate

nothing ever changes

we life the same experience as people in the past have lived and have the same thoughts and problems. His reflection on the rotten society is just a good example of this

>>9866548
>contributing to society

good goy

Rubber bands smell different when you stretch them.

>>9866554
minimalism it is then, the focus and pursuit of nothing is equatable to the pursuit of true happiness

>>9866539
It has gotten way worse post-WWII and baby boomers.

>>9866503
>>9866503
>People have forgotten how to live freely enjoying the love of friends and family around them
>>9866503
>we all need to have a career and a future filled with material wealth, a new house, a new car, a beautiful wife and loving kids.

you seem stupid

>>9866647
im a complete dumbass, what i was trying to espouse was a societal focus on the 'american dream', when divorce rates are this high, 'beautiful wife and loving kids' is more of a sarcastic comment.

>>9866784
but this is where being an edgy teen goes wrong...you want meaningful personal relationships the but the thought of supporting a wife and kids makes you upset, so you're basically like a black guy that wants to have a bunch of baby momma's and side chicks, but no job or responsibilities, got it, in that case, try trailer parks in apalachia, i hear white folks there live in a very "inner city" way that you will find appealing

>>9866794
sounds like you are reading into things here bruh. I agree, you can't be an edgy dude and have meaningful relationships because you have to actually like and be invested in people to do that. going off on a wife and kids tangent seems to be your hang up, not his.

>>9866794
Im not trying to rid myself of responsibilities or a job, I will of course be supporting myself and my family (if I have one) in the most basic and essential way, im talking about living simply without greed without want for something better, "the next best thing that will make you super happy"

>>9866846
he's like "i don't care about what society wants for me i just want meaningful relationships with my family not all this bullshit about having a meaningful relationship with a wife and kids"

makes no sense, it's just edgespam

>>9866853
no he's not. read again.

>>9866853
A meaningful relationship for me is not trying to provide a huge house and the new stuff for my family, a meaningful relationship would be spent time and experience together without the demands of a society that promotes greed and superiority over the weaker members of society.

>>9856945
I've been working on a novel with a lot of personal soul put into it, and while it's produced some of the best stuff I've written it leaves me in an odd melancholy mood. I want to write something upbeat and adventurous again, but I feel like my writing styles shifted so far away from that that none of my ideas stick.

Before, you know I will be waiting All Awake. Mankind has been waiting for my coming for two thousand years. Steeped in false prophecies they cling to hope that their messiah is coming to save them while they live their life of greed and gluttony. I am coming to avenge those without a protector and lift up those who have fallen. The second coming of Christ is not without, but within.

>>9866865
so you're too lazy to provide a good standard of living for your kids? you sound like a shitty father, luckily you'll never leave your mom's basement so you won't be able to ruin any children's lives

Death is an inevitability, and I don't have any strong beliefs in any afterlife or the immortality of the soul. Any and everything we do will eventually turn to nothing (maybe it will take a year or two, maybe a century or two, or maybe even a millennia or two, but eventually everything falls; nothing in this world is lasting or permanent).

Ennui is a bitch. I have a good life - materially comfortable, good close loved ones, friends, etc, but ultimately what does it mean? Nothing. I could throw it away and live intemperately, but in the end I'd still end up in the same grave.

Drinking doesn't even help me take my mind off of this like it used to.

Anyways, that is what is going on in my diary today desu.

>>9867124
Change your writing style then? If you assume your worduse affects how you think, then wouldn't you want to think upbeat to write upbeat?

>>9867134
i live on my own, no family, im not promoting laziness, i think that inherently as humans we are designed to work hard and I do, im talking about working hard on ourselves and our own communities before working hard for a system corrupted by greed and wealth

>>9867151
>before working hard for a system corrupted by greed and wealth

wooo edgy

>>9867155
so you are comfortable working on a career and progressing up that career ladder to earn more money so you can buy a bigger house and more stuff? that is a false key to happiness, you have been sold a lie

>>9856945

>>9867160
>thinking people go up the career ladder to make more money and not to control the destiny of the organization they work for

why are you so obsessed with money and houses? you seem kinda shallow m8

>>9867160

You are right that material comfort and success alone does not bring happiness. That said, happiness itself is ephemeral. It's not anything that we can grasp for anything more than a fleeting moment or two. That's the reason that Pope wrote

>Hope springs eternal in the human breast;
>Man never is, but always to be blest

You could be the King of the planet, and still be unhappy, and you could be the Pope or the Dalai Lama and still be unhappy. Unhappiness is our default state, and the state to which we always return after a momentary lapse into happiness.

>>9867147
Why take your mind off of it? Dying is only a problem if you have problem you must solve. Don't be so naive that you think the solution will certainly come and it's your fault alone if it doesn't. Don't try to make leave a statement to something that doesn't exist. What does it mean that your desirable life has no meaning?

I anger that I'll have to work up from nothingness into mediocrity doing something that I abhor and I have to show gratitude for this mediocrity when some are gifted greatness and more. I feel the exit on the wall of my bedroom beckoning and telling me that I can have it all end but I can't because mom and pops depend on me. I'm not attractive, I'm not intelligent, I'm not particularly skilled in anything, I'm not athletic, I wasn't born into a rich family, I'm nothing but if there's one thing that I am, just one, is that I am tired.

Fuck I'm such a pussy,

>>9867185
this is the result of the self-esteem movement, every kid was told growing up that they are special and destined for greatness, and then one day they realize it was all bullshit and that they aren't special

>>9867148
The think is I used to write in an up beat fashion back when I would write dumb fun comic book stuff with my friends. But then one day I decided I want to write a novel and pretty much everything I've written since has been a recombination of the same handful of ideas.

But you do have a point, I've been in this weird limbo between school and work and I haven't had much to do other than work on job applications. Once things pick up again I should be in a frame of mind.

>>9867178
I guess I just yearn for something permanent or immortal, but I feel that such things don't exist.

Basically I'm dissatisfied with my own life which is by any measure a good one, but I also realize that there is no satisfaction to be had in making any significant life changes either. I've been in much worse places and situations than I am now, and they were awful. Now I'm in a great situation, and it's fine, but lacking in any real meaning. I could change my situation, but ultimately I'll end up back in the same place. Which is fine I guess.

It's just living through a low-grade existential crisis, while recognizing that any door I open is going to eventually lead back into the room that I'm already in. Like I said, ennui.

And FWIW, I recognize that I am a cliche.

I'd like to take a big ole greasy bloody shit right on this board and watch it sink in slowly in the summer heat

>>9867172
Is the pursuit of happiness a foolish endeavour, should we settle into a life of momentary lapses of happiness, shouldnt we be striving for the simplicity of the moments that do make us happy?

>>9867207
>I used to write in an up beat fashion back when I would write dumb fun comic book stuff with my friends.
Try going back to that, if only to try it. Things are dumb if you're dumb.

>I haven't had much to do other than work on job applications. Once things pick up again I should be in a frame of mind.
I feel you, but don't be so dependant on those things.

>>9867215
You're not going to get a life without problems if that's what you want. Because having problems is more or less what life is. So work with your problems instead. Don't take your crisis so seriously, look for answers on the side and you'll either get results or have enough of it.

>I recognize that I am a cliche.
Who cares.

>>9867185
There, there. Let's go to bed.

>>9864599
What mental illness bud ? If you say depression lmao

>>9857749
I want to hurt my family and makes things inconvenient for them but I don't want to die (or prison)

>>9858008
I enjoyed her power level in the first run of Ultimate Fantastic Four, in which she's one of the genius Baxter Building kids, but she's nowhere on Reed's level, because nobody is on Reed's level. I believe she even struggles with the fact that as brilliant as she is, she's an idiot next to him.

I can't write characters for shit. I thought it would be easy but they are all more or less the same and I feel like self inserting in every semi-intelligent male protagonist

>>9856945
nice img anon
fuckinnnn anxiety!!!!

>>9867777
Bits and pieces of you are always going to be floating around in your characters. It's one of the reasons that writing is so difficult and personal: in order to be genuine in what you're writing, you have to open yourself up and spill it onto the page. Your characters are going to be in part, you. Their experiences are going to contain snippets of your own, their words will come from things you've said, things you've heard others say, and your most private fantasized arguments.

You're projecting both your reality and your escapism at once.

>>9857397
Me too, I find it more terrifying than in real life even

>>9860712
me and you both

(From my Dream Journals)
I was wandering through a poorer section of a large city,its squalor compact in grey buildings. I opened doors randomly down a street,fearing nothing and looking for adventure,or possibly something to loot. I encountered a half dozen boys purporting to be a gang,but retreated from them with respectful deference and moved on. One doorway opened into something promising:furniture of cracked wood piled loosely by the entrance covered in dusty cobwebs,but with a dim light beyond revealing life and a balcony. Then I realized it was a fire exit of a dingy bar blocked off,so I entered the next doorway and leaving the gang to mope outside.

Squalid dark and homey,I order a Heineken from the bartender approaching me warily. He is in his 60s,chubby unshaven and disheveled, but deals with me with quiet humour,asking for ID then saying he'd have to charge me $39 for the beer. I smile,sip a bit,and begin drawing on some scrap of orange paper with a black marker to pass the time. Its a four panel cartoon,dividing the lengthwise rectangle into equal strips without visible borders. Its Marcie from the Charlie Brown comics,turning her spectacles sideways to the viewer with an odd smile, holding a noose. In the next panel,she is hanging by the neck and on fire,her mouth gasping joy,back arched as if she held the prow of a boat sailing through joyous seas. Perhaps she was. The third panel has her corpse half burnt still enraptured and I debate to add a bit of light in her gaping mouth to illustrate fire flowing up through her neck. The last panel is the remnants of the rope,crumbling down,and the small circle of other characters now revealed to be witness to the horror,stunned and somber expressions on their upturned faces.

My prose sucks. It always feels uninspired and I get hung up on small boring details thanks to my autism.

How do I improve it?

Visited grandma today and she was watching a TV program showing some psychologist woman asking about $15.000 to teach people how the facial characteristics match their personality and how to 'read' that on everyone else. Are 'normies' really this stupid?

>>9868830
write more, read more.

>>9867567
It might fall under Depression, but it doesn't feel like it. I'm not sad at all, and fairly healthy in general, but I lack the ability to truly feel emotions or pleasure. That sounds like melodramatic bullshit to me, and probably does to you as well, but it's been with me for a few years now and there's no other explanation. When I play any video game, I'm just sitting there clicking buttons - my brain sends no kind of positive reaction to the stimulus. It's the same for a productive hobby like writing, making a song, learning a hobby, or making friends. The wiring's not right. I spent a long time agonizing over it, trying out all sorts of solutions and burying myself deeper and deeper. Now, I've come to terms with it, and instead of getting lost in the negative thoughts, I simply let them pass. My life's on track, my health improves by the day, and so on, but the problem still remains. Whether it's cured in one month or six, I don't really care, but I do think it could make a decent story after it's all said and done.

>>9869068
小人 gonna 小人. Don't do phisiognomy 君子.

>>9869562
what?

>>9869590
Petty people are quick to judge others by things like physiognomy, rather than their intentions or capabilities. So work on yourself.

>>9869624
Good point.

>tfw alone and broke with no skills, direction, or future prospects

>>9856945
>Everyone believes the narratives handed down to them a priori without second thought as to why
>Further examination of history and modern politics largely discredits Rousseau and support Hobbes, yet people today are so caught up in utopia and the inner mythology of their preconceptions that no one is willing to recognize this
>The truth is that people care more about waging war against the the other than finding a synthesis between themselves and are purely egocentric no matter how much empathy the possess
>Humanity is doomed to destroy itself via ad infinitum expansion because of it's intellectualization of immediate impulse gratification
>What's worse is that this inevitable decline will drag down the entire earth with us
Give me a reason to have hope beyond my pessimism

>>9869689

I hate America and I hate its rat race. I hate that everything costs a ridiculous amount like healthcare and education but shitty televisions are cheap. Necessities are expensive but shit and "luxury" are not. It's so backwards.

I hate that Americans defend it too. They're so disgustingly selfish and retarded especially with things that would benefit them but as long as them gotdamn freeloadin' niggers don't get nothin' they'll continue to be stupid.

I want to leave this awful hellhole.

>>9869731
Whatever succeeds us as the dominant force on earth will be hella freakin wonky

>>9869745
Why not commit yourself to destroying America before you leave it? Then you never have to be bothered by it ever again.

>>9867185
>Life is measured in accomplishments and not content-ness
The worst part of the modern consumerist age is that the entire zeitgeist that defines out person is an endless pursuit of how much we can control our lives and accomplish more than others. Everyone wants to be Alexander and not Diogenes

>>9869745
>Why is everything expensive
>Why is there ethnic tensions
Are you just complaining about having to deal with conflict as if this is somehow exclusive to the United States?

>>9869747
Too bad I'm not going to live to see it

>>9869751
ive thought about this myself. he should become a politician and basically perform a real life reductio ad absurdum of whatever policies he disagrees with, take everything to its logical extreme, that way America will be destroyed or else people will rebel against the policies and change America.

>>9869731
Your pessimism is as poorly fundamented as whatever hope there could be.

>>9869745
Let's switch places and you come live in my thirdworld shithole where there also are no jobs, necessities are expensive and commodities are even more expensive.

>>9869896
Fundemented isn't a word. Frig off pseud

>>9869971
Foundamentated. Fountainhooded. Foundationalized. Founduelated. Whatever, the point is that you can't say fundament without fun.

I have suddenly found myself posting alot more frequently on this site than I ever before. I used to be a dedicated lurker, I realised talking to nameless nobodies on here was inherently worthless for me.
This all started after I noticed something odd in my life, a very unnerving feeling, it felt like I was no longer in control of my body, I felt like I had lost something but I could never tell what it was that I lost, I started posting after that and I also stopped reading books which I used to do, I've always had little motivation and depression to do things but now it is feeling like I have no motivation to do anything but stare at the computer screen.
It frightens me to experience first hand a moment where I don't know what is going on, I fear I don't have any control over my life, even more than I felt before as I don't believe in no free will, but it feels like instead of a lack of free will, there is some other will controlling me.

I don't know what's going on.

>>9856945
Both Capitalism and Communism have ruined the western world.

>>9870130
Start jogging.

>>9870138
>the people profiting from both a global capitalist system and the intellectuals behind Marxism and the communist revolution are the same ethnicity and aren't invested in the survival of the western society.

really makes you think

>>9870130
I'm afraid it's too late. It's lethal.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBfnWZkW7sE

>>9870130
same

I don't do anything else but stare at a screen

I pray for death

>>9870130

I have written my first short story ever (since high school probably)

it's about a guy who's burning alive

>>9870130
I long for the time someone shuts this place down.

I want to never have been born

I like being alive.

>>9870372
UNA PALABRA

(But seriously, cheers.)

>>9870531
what?

>>9870698
https://youtu.be/tlgz71v1oIk?t=6m12s

>>9869757
>Diogenes

Diogonese was still more accomplished than you, i guarantee if you had gone to Athens and wacked off no one would have cared. That's what i find alienating about the Greeks. It was obviously this little clique of rich homosexuals, sort of the like the beats, and you wouldn't have been welcomed or even acknowledge to be alive by them, if you aren't hanging out with famous people now then you wouldn't have then either

>>9856945
How can I make her or anyone suddenly want to live when I'm not entirely keen on this "being alive" thing myself?

>>9870932
Stop being spooked by life.

>god, please, make me famous
>if not, at least make it painless

never really a fan of arcade fire because i tend to avoid pitchfork approved guitar bands but gotta admit they got some songs

>>9871279
those two lines are lame af what are you on

>>9871336
bullshit, bro. just read all the whiney posts around this shithole of faggy kids that are like "how do i deal with being medoicre", "how can i stop being smart but lazy and get the fame i deserve" etc. sure you might not want to be a popstar or instagram famous, but if you want to be an award winning author or some kind of canonical philosopher then yes you too are saying "god, please make me famous"

>>9871346
No, actually, that's not how real artists work. They want to contribute something of value to the world. They could do it anonymously and they'd still feel satisfied.

>>9871362
>No, actually, that's not how real artists work.

how said anything about "real artists"? did you not see the part where i said "whiney posts around this shithole of faggy kids"? it's capturing/reflecting the zeitgeist which is a role of "real art"

>>9871371
>"whiney posts around this shithole of faggy kids"?

Right, so like I said, lame af

What are you getting at

>>9871371
The role of real art if it were only to "capture the zeitgeist" would be to smear shit on ten million canvases. I think you lack imagination as to the true purpose of art.

>>9871384
and what, pray tell, is the "real purpose of art"?

>>9871384
>>9871389

and if you say "sublimation of the will" then brostep is real art because when you getting your body rocked by sick dropz your appetites are suspended

>>9871389
>>9871396
real art is imparting beauty
suppose for example, you feel you have a perspective, a lense through which you see the world that gives you joy
through writing a work of fiction, you could impart that perspective and allow others to see the world through your lense
or if some experience holds you in esthetic arrest, you could paint it and impart that experience to others
if you have a vision of the kind of world you think would be beautiful you can clarify that image to others through the arts
sadness, also, is beautiful, and if you can impart true sadness into others this is beautiful

modern society is irredeemably ugly. I don't want to read books about facebook and listen to songs about whiny kids. It's the nightmare impetus for people to try to make something beautiful.

>>9871422
>real art is imparting beauty

Art is about imparting meaning, retard.

>>9871493
And life means nothing if it lacks beauty
That's the hell we are constantly fighting against

How unbearably lacking in beauty our modern industrial commercial parking lot walmart wandering lives are.

They are the same thing, meaning and beauty.

Also why post some disgusting image. You want to make people feel as awful as you do or some edgy shit?

>>9871503
>And life means nothing if it lacks beauty
What if i punch you in the dick over and over, does that mean anything?

>>9871503
>They are the same thing, meaning and beauty.

i think you got your cliches confused buddy "truth is beauty" is the pseudy enlightment quote stemfags who don't get art like to say

>>9871505
violence is a reaction against our being deprived of beautiful lives so yes.

>>9871517
Yall always gotta reference some memes that I don't follow don't you, well have at it, enjoy your shallow nothingness of a fucking board

>>9871517
>pseudy enlightment quote

ooops my bad that was from keats, should i have hit up wikipedia before posting, anyways, still a shitty cliche

>>9871519
No, pain is a sensation which has the greatest meaning to consciousnesses that inhabit bodies such as ours. If i punched you in the balls, or showed you a beautiful painting, i think you'd pretty quickly identify which meant more to you in the immediate, and intermediary, and long term on even a metaphysical level.

I don't want to open a thread for this, so I will just ask for help here.
I'm looking for a article written by a russian guy about how contemporary literature is becoming similar to medieval literature. I remember he pointed out that medieval lit resembled collages of multiple texts that in the end, converged to the Bible. Contemporary lit does the same thing but converges to the western canon as a whole. He also talked about how common of a theme the apocalypse was then and how it is now.

I have to read this shit but I can't find it.

>>9871557
well how contemporary was it exactly, was he some 20th century dude, or like by contemporary you mean he's actively writing shit atm? considering you said he wrote about apocalypse i'm going to guess he was a cold war era guy

i'm not sure if i want to become an academic (in STEM, unfortunately, which is where i have my current education) or keep my comfortable, upper-middle class office job and try to get some fiction published on the side.

being a fiction writer sounds more like what i want to do with my life, but i'm pretty sure that's never going to happen due to my lack of connections. i do have a fair amount of connections and experience in tech. if i was a professor at least i could contribute to public discourse, teach, and not belong to the office park liberal fascist culture that is currently infecting the tech industry. on the other hand, i'm increasingly becoming a luddite and so turning into someone who brainwashes 20 year olds into worshiping the false god of technological progress isn't that appealing either. at 30 it's too late to switch to english now, though, and even if i did ruin my life to get an english phd it's unlikely that i'd ever find a job.

anyway, tonight i ate some spaghetti and listened to bill evans after work. food tastes better when you cook it yourself. after i'm through with /lit/ for the evening i'll sit out on my porch with the spiders and continue writing my novel.

>>9871583
Like with all things you have to ask yourself if you're good enough, or could you be good enough?

Some people have it. Some don't.

But the more important question to ask is whether or not you're following a path you've created for yourself, or one that you have seen travelled by people like you, and people who you want to be like.

Because the latter will lead to your dismay.

>>9871557
was that from an interview with the guy who wrote laurus?

>>9871594
I found it, it is really a piece from this guy. Thanks, anon!
https://www.firstthings.com/article/2016/08/the-new-middle-ages

>>9871592
good questions for me to think about for sure. some thoughts:

- aren't the path we choose and the path we have seen others chosen in practice the same thing? find me someone with passion in a field who didn't first get inspired by seeing others be successful in that field.

- a big part of the problem is that it isn't just what "i want." i have a family who will need me to support them and there is a huge world full of problems that need fixing. it is irresponsible, in some ways, for me to pursue my own self will and not the "greater good"

>>9857926
tinder you sad fucking retard, if you can't find a woman on tinder you need to lower your standards

The French have the perfect outlook on work and I wish Americans emulated it instead of working themselves to death.

>>9871679
At least you live in a country where you can shoot people who enter your property uninvited.

>>9856945
i regret taking an exchange year to sweden instead of korea/japan or even china. that was 6 years ago. now i'm moving to the UK to study engineering, and if i dig myself out of this hole of debt im about to get myself into fast enough i want to go study an asian language for a couple years. we'll see what happens. i don't have friends anymore, hopefully i'll meet some asian kids at this university im going into. i also feel pathetic for starting uni at 22 especially since i've never had a job

my life is great all things considered though

>>9871705
why are you so into asian crap? don't tell me you're some beta with yellow fever? after you fuck a couple dead fish asian chicks you'll again be regretting wasted time

>>9871728
not sure i just like the general eastern culture, food, atmosphere of the cities, the grammatical structure of korean/japanese, the utility of mandarin, etc

i mean, if i did end up regretting the time i plan to spend in asia; then i'd stop regretting the time i didn't spend there while i was in sweden instead, so really i'd just be trading one regret for another. but i'm not sure how i'd regret something like that. either way it's a good experience just so i don't always wonder what it's like

>>9871644
Not that anon, but while I disagree with your desire to serve the "greater good" I wholly understand your feeling of duty towards your family.

However I wouldn't recommend going into academia. The money is bad, the environment is not much different from the liberal facism your described and workload is not comfortable.

Try this: Take a vacation--that is, use whatever vacation days you have saved up. Isolate yourself somehow for the period of the vacation. Could be something as simple as letting your wife handle the kids while you lock yourself in your basement. Write your fiction. Do it all in one go.

At the end of it, if nothing else, you'll have your answer on whether you should continue pursuing writing. The important thing is the will and passion to execute not necessarily skill. Studies of experts have shown over and over that talent is mostly a matter of early interest. Everyone else starts late but can still get to the finish line if they put in the time.

Good luck!

t. STEM Grad student

>>9857013
That's kind of spooky, in a way. That there's only one force that can truly be the "doer". You could make a religion out of that.

>>9871608
That was interesting. There's lots of ideas there that look promising. It's (happily) weird how it feels to me like other unrelated Christian stuff like Angel's Egg or BotNS.

However I'm wondering how the proposed turn could work if there isn't a return to Biblical authority, of which I'm not certain. Regardless, it's good to see Christianity still has teeth.

>>9871728
>Implying there's anything wrong in being fevered.
As long as it's not surface level muh dick stuff.

>>9871781
Yeah, you could.

>>9871644
Passion isn't something you can develop. It's usually a symptom of success in an area which brings you some material/spiritual way.

You can't force it through commitment, you can only hope you stumble into success and the success helps you become the person you feel enhances your happiness. Maybe having a family and helping them is what will encourage your passion for other things. Children need to learn about the world, and you have to teach them, so learning about the world yourself is a consequence of that responsibility. And from there passion is born.

i unno man

I've lost control of my life.

what if jesus is back and he's posting on 4chan

>>9871796
same. but instead of something thrilling happening like going off a cliff or smashing through a crowd muslim style the auto of my life just sort of going in a circle slowly

Fuck the Gargantia torrent is stuck.

>>9871801

>>9871796
>>9871806
Congrats you've been memed into thinking the world will blow up if you lose your shit once in a while, but it turned out it's actually pretty inconsequential and there actually are a bunch of ways to live that won't get you brutally murdered and hey we're not living in a jungle like a bunch of animals and even animals don't live in constant threat of dying and actually do tons of unnecessary things like existing at all like the nihilist said fucking Darwin OwO who'd have thought.

>>9857926
I wrote out a big thing about a lot of things but I accidentally refreshed the page but ill write it again if your still here

>>9860694
>sounds like a lot of pretentious bullshit, but it happened. I still get those thoughts cropping up sometime, the ones that point out how mediocre the past few years have been, and I get the urge to dive right in and try to make sense of them.

I'm right there with you brother.

One thing I've found after years of this...that feeling of "putting two and two together", a person can convince themselves they've realized something profound about themselves through all the introspection; but it's not true. Time spent pondering aimlessly doesn't teach you about yourself, it's just like a screensaver for your brain.

The only way to build your personality is to either go out and experience unfamiliar things or consistantly put pen to paper with your thoughts to give them structure.

cheers

Our incessant demand for innovation is making social life impossible for anyone with good memory. But it is ultimately unfounded because no one thing can wholly repeat.

Now whoever, if I am to take the spiral as the historical model, instead of the line and the circle, I can say it synthetizes both, but then what becomes its antithesis? The point, of origination or termination. The search for the point was what lead from the line to the circle. Now, of the spiral, one can explain the past and the future like this: as it unrables what seems distant seems like the point, always; distance makes the past of the past's past and the past's past both seem like only the past's past; likewise with the future. Therefore it's more accurate to say a spiral it aimed, not based? Does then, the spiral base itself on itself, its continuity in its change?

"Time, which insures the continuity of language, wields another influence apparently contradictory to the first: the more or less rapid change of linguistic signs. In a certain sense, therefore, we can speak of both the immutability and the mutability of the sign.

"In the last analysis, the two facts are interdependent: the sign is exposed to alteration because it perpetuates itself. What pre-dominates in all change is the persistence of the old substance; disregard for the past is only relative. That is why the principle of change is based on the principle of continuity." ~ Saussure

A romantic ideal is believing that a subtle play on words is enough to sufficiently impress a girl you like.

A realistic ideal is acknowledging that you've already blown your luck by virtue of shaky self-confidence and poor circumstantial timing.

A modernistic ideal is pointing out that the juxtaposition of 'realistic' and 'ideal' is enough of an oxymoron to invalidate your previous statement.

A postmodernist ideal is publicly wondering why you are making posts like this on social media as the most probable outcome is likely to be the polar opposite of your intended one but you figure why the hell not because it's a distraction from overwhelming dread that has been creeping into every facet of your life over the past few weeks in a very similar fashion to the first movement of the Leningrad Symphony no. 7 in C Major by Shostakovich that is blaring through your headphones at this exact moment, (first performed by an ensemble of starving, dying musicians on almost this very day 75 years ago and broadcast as a form of psychological warfare against the German army at the time bombing the shit out of the city of its namesake, with the very gradual buildup of the same repeated phrases between oboe and clarinet with the accompaniment with pizzicato strings that mark the end of that particular section and the addition of more instruments as the piece continues with a very pronounced addition of harmony using various percussion instruments until the climax of the movement arrives with the introduction of the brass instruments repeating the same 6 measures with growing and growing intensity until the piece becomes very hectic, hair raising, adrenaline pumping, bringing to mind an onslaught of foreign invaders in the motherland until it reaches its dramatic conclusion with ascending and descending sixteenth notes of woodwinds highlighted by bombastic tuba and trombone pulses that finally fades out with a very somber, drawn out violin section of the movement's denouement (which almost mirrors your emotional reaction to the this whole ordeal one to one, note for note)) while you just silently wish this would get to whom you want it to get to since you made some sort of agreement to not speak directly for a pre-established length of time which quite honestly is very advisable since continued dialogues would probably drive everything into a much deeper hole than you can ever hope to talk or write verbose posts (that anyone reading past this point deserves commendation for attaining such a saintly amount of patience and reading comprehension to process this not quite grammatically correct sentence) out of god how did you fuck this one up so bad why won't this just fix itself

>>9856965
It's OK if you remember to practice usury. Otherwise you would be helping the world.

>>9871986
I liked that, Anon. Music's a crazy thing.

In the corner of my parents bathroom I sit down to write on my Android. I've been home off and on for the last two years. My Mom's gotten sick of me, but I later convinced her to let me stay because of the way women raised a . This level of argument works on women and . Best part is all of my friends just moved away for the sailing team. I'm all alone with the broads who aren't dumb enough to the brutish acrivities of athletes. I'm a heat seeking missisle as Albert, the last man in Los Angelas who is going to fuck all of the bored horny women as my parents single girl here. This is man's lower purpose as I swordfish with high school models. Fuck I'm jacked full of weed - which I use infrequently at this beautiful time of the year. Reminicing on that Pats' owl . And the memory of my Dad revealing the world to me, and to realize he's a king. I fucked this Norwegian princess on my 12th birthday and my Dad's lessons were complete. This after he gave me and I read the r gave me a lot of important information. I play my movies on repeat in the background of my room which I enjoy for a few hours some days - I thought . Everyone stays out of my way because they want my glow. I'm telling you it's going to end with the eclipse and I love this shit town. It's too late not to enjoy the final act and we'll be gone.

>>9871682

The fact that people consider this a plus is just depressing.

>>9872513
>The fact that
you are autistic

ive got so many pics on my laptop and the internet provides me a huge amount of information but i dont know what to do with it.

feelin groovy

>>9856945
I don't like hitler but he makes for good memes.
>>9872621
learn. yesterday I talked to a fag who did not know what pascal's wager is

>>9870932
Show them something you find beautiful and true and use it as a stepping stone for talking about the question they've always been meaning to find answers to.

Basically, people have to find their own reason for wanting to live, and all you can do is help them along the way.

>>9872725
>i talked to a person who didn't know one of the least serious philosophical ideas out there
shocking

Pascal's wager is Russel's teapot tier philosophy

I'm concerned ill get to uni, find a gf and she'll be fucking boring. All the women I have been with are either ugly, batshit insane or intensely boring people or a mixture of those.

>>9863498
This hit way too close to home.

But don't worry anons, I think I'm slowly getting better. I used to be so socially anxious just texting a friend to say hi or to ask them for something would require half an hour of pacing to muster up the courage and sometimes even stab myself with a fork to psyche myself up to press SEND. Then I'd hide my phone under my pillow and leave the room. Returning later when I felt better to read the reply, one word at a time hiding the rest with my fingers.

But now I can hold conversations with people. And even organise friends to hang out and do stuff. I've still never kissed anyone or had sex, but cuddling and just being close to people is nice.

Maybe I'm different though, unlike a lot of people here, even in my most isolated and pitiable state I never became bitter at women. All my loathing was 100% self directed, i waded through the cesspools of /r9k/ and /pol/ and my ideals came out untarnished. I didn't deserve anyone and no one was obligated to do anything for me. Friendship and relationships have to happen naturally, some people just get dealt a shitty hand. But it can turn

>>9872944
All women are like that pal, just find that is loyal and put babies into her. That's it.

>>9872973
i used to be like that in college which is weird cuz i was mostly normie as a teen, i got over it though, also never got why autists turn to women hating, guys who got bankraped in a divorce or haven't seen their kids in 2 years i get it if they hate women, but if you just never go outside or talk to anyone, why would that be women's fault?

>>9856945
I've always fancied myself a "writer," but when I sit down and begin writing it's shit. I'm too distracted. Perspectives change, plot points don't add up, Im too heavy on the dialogue. By the end it reads like the dream of a woman dying of pneumonia.

>>9873200
Because there's a real possibility that divorce rape and cuckoldry happens to them.

Is there more to life than wagecuckery?

>>9873569
YES. Quit. You will survive, and realize you want far more than you need.

there's a thin layer of fluid between the skull and

Movement was probably the best New Order album. My legs hurt. This week is the last week of my little illusion.

>>9872944
wait until you find the one

>>9872944

Maybe that's because they're a reflection of you.

Last night I was prank called by a bunch of girls. I wonder who they could've been... and all this time I thought I was a lost cause.

>be 24
>think about ass all day
>can't get any ass
>in the future
>be even more bald than at 24

makes you think

>>9873569
Making babies.

>>9872973
>I used to be so socially anxious just texting a friend to say hi or to ask them for something would require half an hour of pacing to muster up the courage
This used to be me but I made an effort to change myself over the last few years, successfully. I assume successfully, just lost my virginity and got my first gf a month and a half ago. It's been awesome.

>>9873614
26-year-old lonely guy checking in.

>Grey hairs sprouting
>Grandparents be doubting:
>"Will he ever find a girl? Will he ever have Kids?" Senpai always be pouting.
>My brother's in love, so him they be touting.
>But I Work too much, I try to date,
>Not enough time so I masterbate.
>Read lit to mask my pain,
>Write stories in dreams of fame,
>But every day is the same.
>And every dame has explained
>That they already got a main.

There is a good chance I will die alone.

>>9873650
I don't care about dying alone, I just want to be a ladies man and have an exciting sex life

everyone dies alone

>>9873629
tell me your secrets

>>9873650
If you haven't dated at that age then you are hopeless. Even if you start, the girl will so ahead of you in terms of emotional development that for her it would be like dating a hig- schooler.

>>9873650
If you haven't dated at that age then I'm sorry but you are hopeless. Even if you manage to start, the girl will be so ahead of you in terms of emotional development that for her it would be like dating a high-schooler.

>>9873650
BASED

>>9873697
I've dated plenty. I am well acquainted with the opposite sex, and also the same sex.

My problem is that it's been about 2 years without an actual relationship, and I have lost all desire to enter a new one.

That said, the social/familial pressure of doing so, and the realization that I'm aging quickly, are eating me alive.

>>9873714
Then what is wrong with you? Are you poor?

>>9873733
Not at all. I'm not sure what is wrong with me. I have met a lot of people but none that I am infatuated with enough to date date.

I mean there have been a few, but they're all in relationships.

I think I was just ruined by a past love and am sort of in a psychological funk.

>>9873733
Do you think I should just neck myself?

>>9873675
First:
Hate yourself so much you legitimately decide to kill yourself but lack the courage to actually do it, this is much harder than it sounds, it helps if you develop a vague obesity related physical disorder that causes you constant awkward discomfort and pain.
Next, break down your ego and begin to systematically change fundamental things about yourself, to the point that you lose your identity. Maybe keep a couple of things as an anchor but only after you've quit them for a while. Stop doing anything you love to do for months and see if you can live without it. Eventually you'll be able to see what things you can actually enjoy on an intellectual level and what things you do out of sheer physical pleasure feedback. Find out how people typically describe you and change those things about yourself, to the point where people who know you become confused and disturbed by your presence. If you're a fat guy, lose weight. If you're quiet, talk constantly. Seek out and deliberately do things that cause you emotional pain - converse with strangers constantly, listen to them, gauge their reactions, really care about them. Start to embrace honesty, never lie about anything unless you absolutely have to. Be completely open about what you're doing, be honest with yourself.
If you do this breakdown and reconstruction right, you'll begin to gather friends automatically, which will be great further practice.
It's important to see everything you do, every social interaction and activity, as practice. Literally treat your life as a video game, level these skills up.
Eventually, if you want a girlfriend, make an account on every free online dating site, see what you get. If you get no response (you probably will if you don't do this too fast) delete your profile and make a new one with different pics/bio and do it again.
Eventually you'll find a nice girl, be kind and honest with her and her panties will fall off. The typical people that use dating apps are social retards, which will work both for and against you, but it's important to understand.

>>9873697
>If you haven't dated at that age then I'm sorry but you are hopeless
I managed to do all this in my 30's. It's not hopeless. Anything, including emotional development can be learned.

>>9873601
That's fucking moronic of you. He can only have a sense of what's boring if he's developed past the level of those girls. It couldn't be otherwise; you're probably a loser trying to bring him down.

>>9873737
Retake the gre and get a perfect score then go somewhere with classy girls. Problem solved

>>9873804
how old were you when you lost it? also were you a neet dropout or basically normalfag?

>>9872973
>Returning later when I felt better to read the reply, one word at a time hiding the rest with my fingers.
That's hilarious

>>9873829
But I live inChicago, a great city.

How do you know if you should enter a relationship vs simply date? Should I get into one for its own sake?

I only "kinda" like everyone it seems

>>9873842
34
Was a neet dropout with no job and extreme social anxiety, living at home at 30, when I began to change myself.

>>9873868
was she a 2/10 fat 35yo pig?

>>9873863
Bre, the dating period is when you determine if she's long term material. Date girls as much as you can and if one of them is compatible you will enter a long term relationship with her.
It will be easier if you figure out what kind of person you are and go places where there are people similar to you. If that doesn't work see a shrink or go to the Northeastern campus, pick your favorite department, and stake it out for qts.

I'm pretty happy being single and there's no way I'm gonna change just to put my penis in a vagina.

>>9873894
Damn. this is wisdom, Senpai.

But what if I don't like anyone? Is it OK to live and die alone?

>>9873804
>Eventually you'll find a nice girl, be kind and honest with her and her panties will fall off.
This works in on women in their 30s, but young women want to be impressed by shameless assholes.

>>9873901
there's literally nothing better than sex in this life

this is the ultimate redpill

>>9873878
No, she's chubby but not grotesquely so and pretty cute. Also ten years younger than me. I'm honestly surprised, I had a couple of strong possibilities lined up before I really hit off with her that were of the obese pig/gross lesbians variety.

>spend all my time on academic stuff
>sacrifice social life for good grades
>most important exams of my life so far
>fuck up a couple of them
>results day in a week
this could make or break me

>>9873920
I seriously doubt that it warrants this much trouble.

>>9873907
Not sure. It's definitely ideal to be a normal person as your internal ecosystem will run as smooth as possible. I know my life alone has been terrible as food and internet addictions replaced my need for intimacy and social interaction. Porn is definitely what stopped me from pursuing girls after I got cucked by the girl of my dreams at 14.
You might be able to make it with online friend simulators in the form of vlogs and podcasts, but they aren't enough for me.
As for your problem of only kinda liking everyone, you're either fucked up or you just haven't met any people who . You want to surround yourself with people who are more desirable than you. It seems like you're in a situation where you're desirability is far more than the people around you. It's time for you to move up in the social hierarchy.

>>9873941
Go to a bar near in a city or near a university and try it out. Maybe read up on human social-sexual interaction and psychology. Do some push-ups before you go out and you're in.