/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.11169998]

John Green novels ranked: best to worst.

1.) Looking for Alaska
2.) Turtles All the Way Down
3.) Paper Towns
4.) The Fault in Our Stars
5.) Will Grayson, Will Grayson
6.) An Abundance of Katherines

[Anonymous No.11170033]

I only read Fault in Our Stars and it was god awful. I only read it because my girlfriend at the time wanted me to read it, after reading it I realized me and her are incompatible but I kept her around for sex
Then she got Looking for Alaska for her bday and we ended up breaking up soon after

[Anonymous No.11170037]

>>11170033
I read the first few pages and it honestly reminded me of DFW.

[Anonymous No.11170044]

>>11170033
>judges Green's writing ability
>says "me and her are"

[Anonymous No.11170048]

>>11170044
muh grammar on a pedophile support discussion board
youre an faggot

[Anonymous No.11170060]

>>11170048
If your grammar isn't habitually proper, you aren't going to make it.

[Anonymous No.11170070]

>>11170060
youre an faggot whose needs there ass kicked

[Anonymous No.11170084]

>>11170044
>>11170048
>>11170060
>>11170070

Oh my lord, shut up you irritating stupid cunts. Get a grip on your small pathetic lives.

[Anonymous No.11170091]

>>11170084
>implying arguing with people on here isn't all I have in my life

[Anonymous No.11170148]

His portion of Let it Snow is the best thing he's ever written.
Abundance of Katherines was so shit I didn't even finish it.

[Anonymous No.11170154]

>>11170084
Defending the integrity of a John Green thread, are we?

[Anonymous No.11170171]

I hate the one that’s just John Green further demonizing those poor girls he raped. Haven’t they suffered enough?

[Anonymous No.11170178]

Please stop posting John Green threads.

He makes me violently angry.

[Anonymous No.11170184]

>>11170171
How many girls has it been so far? Why don’t #metoo shills care about the Green rape-train?

[Anonymous No.11170301]

Even if Green got Metoo'd, I feel like he'd just keep doing his thing and not let it affect him. Maybe make a Vlogbrothers video addressing it.

[Anonymous No.11170367]

>>11170044
I fucking hate it when people say "she and I". It's technically correct but it makes you sound like an insufferable cunt.

[Anonymous No.11170376]

>Just as the Bradys were getting locked in jail, Lara randomly asked me, “Have you ever gotten a blowjob?”
>“Um, that’s out of the blue,” I said.
>“The blue?”
>“Like, you know, out of left field.”
>“Left field?”
>“Like, in baseball. Like, out of nowhere. I mean, what made you think of that?”
>“I’ve just never geeven one,” she answered, her little voice dripping with seductiveness. It was so brazen. I thought I would explode. I never thought. I mean, from Alaska, hearing that stuff was one thing. But to hear her sweet little Romanian voice go so sexy all of the sudden...
>“No,” I said. “I never have.”
>“Think it would be fun?”
>DO I!?!?!?!?!?!?! “Um. yeah. I mean, you don’t have to.”
>“I think I want to,” she said, and we kissed a little, and then. And then with me sitting watching The Brady Bunch, watching Marcia Marcia Marcia up to her Brady antics, Lara unbuttoned my pants and pulled my boxers down a little and pulled out my penis.
>“Wow,” she said.
>“What?”
>She looked up at me, but didn’t move, her face nanometers away from my penis. “It’s weird.”
>“What do you mean weird?”
>“Just beeg, I guess.”
>I could live with that kind of weird. And then she wrapped her hand around it and put it into her mouth.
>And waited.
>We were both very still. She did not move a muscle in her body, and I did not move a muscle in mine. I knew that at this point something else was supposed to happen, but I wasn’t quite sure what.
>She stayed still. I could feel her nervous breath. For minutes, for as long as it took the Bradys to steal the key and unlock themselves from the ghost-town jail, she lay there, stock-still with my penis in her mouth, and I sat there, waiting.
>And then she took it out of her mouth and looked up at me quizzically.
>“Should I do sometheeng?”
>“Um. I don’t know,” I said. Everything I’d learned from watching porn with Alaska suddenly exited my brain. I thought maybe she should move her head up and down, but wouldn’t that choke her? So I just stayed quiet.
>“Should I, like, bite?”
>“Don’t bite! I mean, I don’t think. I think—I mean, that felt good. That was nice. I don’t know if there’s something else.”
>“I mean, you deedn’t—”
>“Um. Maybe we should ask Alaska.”
>So we went to her room and asked Alaska. She laughed and laughed. Sitting on her bed, she laughed until she cried. She walked into the bathroom, returned with a tube of toothpaste, and showed us. In detail. Never have I so wanted to be Crest Complete.
>Lara and I went back to her room, where she did exactly what Alaska told her to do, and I did exactly what Alaska said I would do, which was die a hundred little ecstatic deaths, my fists clenched, my body shaking. It was my first orgasm with a girl, and afterward, I was embarrassed and nervous, and so, clearly, was Lara, who finally broke the silence by asking, “So, want to do some homework?”

[Anonymous No.11170393]

>>11169998
You mean from worst to WORST.

[Anonymous No.11170787]

>>11170393
GOT EM

[Anonymous No.11170803]

>>11170376
Now that's what I call a self-insert.

[Anonymous No.11170922]

>>11169998
>The Fault in Our Stars
Holy shit that was written by this^ John Green? Wow, who woulda thought he would go from making YouTube videos to writing a bestseller that becomes a movie later on. Came a long way there.

[Anonymous No.11170941]

AND this nigger wrote Paper Towns. Wew. He must be rolling in the bucks. I always thought he was just some YouTuber kek

[Anonymous No.11171172]

NERDFIGHTERS ASSEMBLE !

[Anonymous No.11171181]

>>11170803
Heh.

[Anonymous No.11171554]

>>11170803
He's pretty clear that a lot of looking for Alaska is base don his time at that Alabama boarding school he went to

[Anonymous No.11171649]

>>11170367
Huh? Where I live that's how people speak. If I said "me and her" I would sound like a bleedin' peasant.

[Anonymous No.11171667]

>>11169998
He's definitely getting Metoo'd at some point. He's like the prime candidate, his work reeks of "I was once a nasty covetous misogynist but now I'm an ally, I'm a good guy now, gals, I'M A GOOD GUY, LET ME INTO YOUR SECRET CHAMBER, LOVE ME, HOLD ME, YOU CUNT, YOU BITCH, WHATS WRONG WITH YOU WHY WONT YOU HAVE ME, Also don't forget to be awesome!"

[Anonymous No.11171669]

>>11170367
This desu.

[Anonymous No.11171673]

>>11171667
Classic case of a man who never got laid as a teen attempting to correct the injustice of his inceldom by appealing to teenage girls as an adult.

[Anonymous No.11171676]

>>11171667
you okay?

[Anonymous No.11172896]

>>11170091
>>11170154
My sides

[Anonymous No.11172901]

>>11170376
Remember that time he got mad and made a video defending himself against him being a child pornographer

[Anonymous No.11174265]

>>11170376
Every fucking time I see this posted there's something new I find abhorrent about this.
You know they actually taught this in the normal English classes at my high school? A fucking disgrace. Raising a generation of mindless King and Brown consumers.

[Anonymous No.11174480]

>>11169998
Since everyone fucking else is being a fucking asshole about John, I'll actually answer your question seriously:

(1) Paper Towns - 10/10
(2) Looking for Alaska -10/10
(3) The Fault in Our Stars - 8.5/10
(4) Turtles All the Way Down - 8/10
(5) Will Grayson, Will Grayson - 6/10

And I've never read An Abundance of Katherines, but plan to.

[Anonymous No.11174566]

Not sure if it's sentiment, but Looking for Alaska is his best book in my opinion. All the other's blur together in a sort of "this is another John Green book, but not that one John Green book" kind of way. His writing has a pizza-like quality to it, always okay, occasionally really really delicious.

[Anonymous No.11174966]

>>11169998
I've only ever read excerpts of his literature and purely based on that I have no desire to ever read an entire novel by him. Am I being to judgmental?

[Anonymous No.11175018]

>>11171673
Inceldom? The guy's married, no celibacy there

[Anonymous No.11175032]

>>11175018
His teenage inceldom

[Anonymous No.11175036]

>>11171667
Oh yeah totally, i'm surprised it hasn't happened yet

[Anonymous No.11175047]

>>11174566
Do they make pizza with maggots and aids where you come from?

[Anonymous No.11175052]

>>11175032
Mmh maybe it should be another term

[Anonymous No.11175080]

>>11174566
Is it no longer possible to discuss John Green without a food analogy of some kind?