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/lit/ - Literature

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12381337 No.12381337 [Reply] [Original]

>ITT we write our own koans

>> No.12381349

>>12381337
Disciple walks up to Zhaozhou.
Zhaozhou: Did you clean your bowl already?
Disciple: It's only 6am, we did not have breakfast yet. The bowl has not been defiled.
Zhaozhou: Sometimes the cleanest bowls are the dirtiest.

>> No.12381363

Disciple: Master, are you ready for your tea?
Master: Have you ever considered that when you drink tea it is more an act of appreciating the cup that holds it, than the tea itself?
Disciple: No
Master: You must

>> No.12381389

Master: What's the sound of one foot stomping?
Disciple: Isn't it supposed to be "the sound of one hand clapping"?
Master: What's the sound of one mouth screaming?
Disciple: Isn't it always just one mouth?
Master: Indeed.

Later, the disciple met the master in the hall.
Master: Be silent. Can you hear it now?
Disciple: Hear what?
Master: The waves.
Disciple: What waves, we're not even close to the ocean.
Master: No-ocean is also ocean, no-waves are also waves.

>> No.12381433

Disciple: What is the Buddha?
Master: He dead.
Disciple: Rest in peace.
Master: I don't think so.
Disciple: Why?
Master: His was is the restless way. Rest and you lose it, don't rest and you won't attain it either.

In the evening, the disciple was reported to mumble
"He's alive, he's alive" in his room.

>> No.12381467

Discipline: Apology for poor English. Where were you when John Lenin dies?
Master: I was sat at home drinking tea when my friend Kodo ring. "John is kill".
Disciple: "no"
Master: and you?

>> No.12381490

A master told his disciple: go upstairs and fetch a pail of water for my bath
The disciple replied: master, this building has only floor, and in any case, you are not dirty
The master replied: better to be in a one-floor building and ask for a bath, than to be in a tall building and not ask.

>> No.12381515
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12381515

One day wandering through a desolate /qa/ thread anon meets gookmoot.
Anon: Fuck niggers and fuck jannies.
Hiro: Repent, for there is no man better than a janitor on all of chans.
Anon: How come?
Hiro: He does it for free.

>> No.12381563

Disciple: Why did Bodhidharma sit in front of a wall for 9 years?
Master: He did it out of compassion.
Disciple: What its compassion?
Master: Compassion means not conceiving of sentient beings to be saved.
Disciple: Are walls sentient?
Master: What do you think?
Disciple: Whenever you stare at a wall, the wall stares back at you.
Master: And what can it see without eyes?
Disciple: Nothing.
The master said nothing and left.

>> No.12381606

>>12381337

The monk was travelling in the mountainous region of Chengdu towards the Holy Place of Zhing Qao to seek enlightenment when, in the middle of the road, he saw a bodhisattva resting.

The monk, not from the region and with fear of getting lost, asked the bodhisattva how much he had left to the Holy Place of Zhing Qao. The bodhisattva stared back at him and not a word was heard from his lips. The monk asked a second time and the bodhisattva's response was silence again. A third time the monk asked the same question and the same answer he recieved, so he started to walk away, with an angry expression in his face.

'Three days and a half', the bodhisattva said.

'Why didn't you answer me before, bodhisattva?', the monk asked.

'Because I needed to see your pace', the bodhisattva replied.

>> No.12381980

What makes a man?
One leg and three arms.