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/lit/ - Literature


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13744833 No.13744833[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

>Decide to read The Count of Monte Cristo
>Walk to my nearest Waterstones
>Weave through the thronging crowd of plebeians purchasing YA novels and romance literature aimed at women over 45
>Find my book, an art hoe lingers nearby; staring at the tasteful thickness of my volume
>Pretend to browse as she stands by waiting for me to strike up conversation
>Just as she gives up hope and begins to turn I barge past her causing her to stumble into a pile of books
>"The weak should fear the strong" I coldly state
>Slam my copy of the greatest book ever written on the counter
>The cashier woman makes an exaggerated effort to lift it and says "cor blimey"
>I glare back at her, mocking her pathetic attempt at breaking the ice
>"Would you like a bag dear?"
>NO!
>"H-Here you go dear"
>THANK YOU!
>On my way out of the shop I kick a small child and headbutt his mother