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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/lit/ - Literature

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13983054

Anonymous Sat Oct 12 23:14:11 2019 No.13983054 [Reply] [Original]

>21 year old loser kv
>no friends no connections living with mom
>majoring in english no plans with what to do with it I just like literature
>commute to school by train still dont have my license
>spend most of my days in bed shitposting, reading books, watching anime, and working out
>like walking and sitting around people and listening to their conversations being a sort of passionate spectator
>there is something in me that does not let me get close to people. whenever I get close to someone I want to drift away from them.
>dream I have a gf sometimes and cuddle my pillow when I sleep imagining it is my gf but know it would be impossible for me to be that close with someone
>not close with family and feel an immense aversion for my culture and tradition
>have trouble expressing and articulating myself through speech so just keep silent all the time.
>all this makes me very lonely
>constantly dream about various different things and being various people sometimes getting into states of megalomania dreaming and desiring things that are impossible and unattainable
>this makes me more depressed and frustrated
>hate everything I write and express intensely seeing that I have no discernible talent for anything making me desire to die
literature that expresses this feeling

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 12 23:22:23 2019 No.13983084 anon you posted this already

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 12 23:23:08 2019 No.13983088 >>13983054 This isn't your blog. Fuck off and die.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 12 23:24:38 2019 No.13983100 >>13983084 Im sorry you guys are the only people I can talk to. I want to be alone but I don't want to be alone I don't know what is wrong with me. I hate this feeling so much it makes me want to vomit.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 12 23:31:20 2019 No.13983132 >>13983054 it's fine anon, we'll all make it in the end

>>

Anonymous Sat Oct 12 23:37:49 2019 No.13983161

>>13983054
>21 year old loser kv
thats not a bad thing
>majoring in english no plans with what to do with it I just like literature
>commute to school by train still dont have my license
If it makes you feel better I didn't get mine until 24 and I lived in a rural area
>dream I have a gf sometimes and cuddle my pillow when I sleep imagining it is my gf but know it would be impossible for me to be that close with someone
iktf

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 12 23:38:35 2019 No.13983163 >>13983132 make what

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 12 23:54:16 2019 No.13983226 >>13983163 IT anon

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 13 00:22:22 2019 No.13983334 File: 48 KB, 1024x962, 1545340144886.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 13 01:06:24 2019 No.13983507 >>13983054 :(>>13983054

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 13 01:11:38 2019 No.13983522 Get a dog or volunteer somewhere, you need more socialization.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 13 01:11:45 2019 No.13983525 Stop jerking off, go for walks and start lifting.

>>

Anonymous Sun Oct 13 01:19:56 2019 No.13983550

>>13983054
>there is something in me that does not let me get close to people. whenever I get close to someone I want to drift away from them.
Now this is a feel I know. I feel painfully lonely and long for social interaction but when I get the rare opportunity, I reject it. I used to go to this coffee shop everyday after work and this older lady started getting friendly. She'd hook me up with free snacks and we'd have short conversations. After a couple weeks of that I just stopped going there all together because I was getting too close. Pass by the shop every day but I never go in, sometimes I see her from the window and she sees me but we never acknowledge each other. Anyway, Stoner is usually a good book for the feel. Not an exact fit but the descriptions of Stoner's solitude are pretty comfy.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 13 01:23:02 2019 No.13983563 >>have trouble expressing and articulating myself through speech so just keep silent all the time. I have this problem as well. My thoughts are complex, but when I try to formulate them I struggle and sound like a dumbass.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 13 05:19:43 2019 No.13984167 >>13983563 I have this too. I think all great writers have it. There was an interview with Nabakov where he said he never does interviews unless he’s given the questions before hand because he sounds like a retard when he’s just talking off the cuff.

>>

Anonymous Sun Oct 13 05:37:33 2019 No.13984216

>>13983054
Pretty similar story with me OP. As a teen I remember thinking about how I needed to have sex and that being a Virgin was just about low status. Now I realize the crippling loneliness you feel when lying in your bed at night is the actual downside. Also I regret ghosting all my high school friends, I guess it’s just my nature to push away anyone who isn’t in my day to day life besides a handful of people who I text on occasion. My dad did the same thing, but he has a wife and siblings to compensate for the low retention of friends. It’s not like I’m even particularly autistic when it comes to talking, I get along with most people rather well and am not afraid of social things most people are like presenting in front of other people. I guess I’m just bad at initiating any sort of close relationship.

>>

Anonymous Sun Oct 13 06:03:53 2019 No.13984285

>>have trouble expressing and articulating myself through speech so just keep silent all the time.
Do root cause analysis on why is this happening...it might be something to do with posture or something emotional problem that developed while you were still a kid...also see if workout will improve your situation

>>

Anonymous Sun Oct 13 06:27:51 2019 No.13984341

>>13984216
>hasn't experienced the crippling harrowing experience of lying awake in bed next your sleeping partner and realizing that this, as everything, means nothing to you
>you were just enamoured with the concept of maybe feeling normal and loved
>and having felt it, you have no wish for it more than you have a wish to be alone

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 13 06:39:27 2019 No.13984370 I think you would enjoy Anna Karenina

>>

Anonymous Sun Oct 13 06:46:52 2019 No.13984388

I relate anon, you're not alone in feeling this way. Our culture is fucked at the moment but we have to deal with it. You have to find a way of having an initiatory experience, a psychedelic trip is a good way of doing this but be careful and do your research. Make yourself strong, practise good habits. You can make it if you want to.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 13 09:26:51 2019 No.13984892 Bump

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 13 09:28:39 2019 No.13984902 Whoa, you're so unique. You are totally not going through the same thing a lot of people your age are.

>>

Anonymous Sun Oct 13 10:48:52 2019 No.13985148
File: 28 KB, 500x500, B6098ECF-F1BF-4BBC-8850-D06E26C9089A.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>13983054
Pick the champion normie, and start a feud, you the Achilles ass burger, he Hector
it will bring out your absolute best, all your potential, but it will be agony
https://youtu.be/Ly_XLV5B8nI

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 13 10:51:00 2019 No.13985160 >>13984902 I didnt say I was unique and I know in a time like this there a lot of people like me. I want to find them so I can be their fren.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 13 13:54:28 2019 No.13986116 Bump

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 13 16:26:43 2019 No.13987118 >>13983054 sounds bad desu try to get a job in retail so you are forced to talk to people i think that would be good else idk

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 13 16:28:28 2019 No.13987131 >>13983054 Identify the cycle. Then break the cycle.