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/lit/ - Literature


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14095864 No.14095864 [Reply] [Original]

>99.9% of /lit/ cannot produce poetry more compelling and human than a six year old

>> No.14095993

>>14095864
that is deep

>> No.14096077

>>14095864
Kid's stuff is the stuff dreams are made of

>> No.14096114

>>14095864
That's a fucking red pilled 6yo

>> No.14096810

>>14095864
Post your work or fuck off, Nael is not an average 6 year old

>> No.14096822

>>14095864
Where is he now? I imagine him as an incredibly depressed poet who is, at this very moment, lamenting over the fact that he produced his masterpiece and peaked at six years old. I assume his trash bin is littered with a litany of tiger themed poems that weren't to his satisfaction.

>> No.14096839

>>14096822
https://wtop.com/lifestyle/2018/03/6-year-olds-tiger-poem-takes-twitter-by-storm/

Apparently he's working on a story about a magic tree house, no doubt it will be layered with a great amount of esoteric themes

>> No.14096870

At the age of nine I wrote a short story where a snowman, while melting, argues about immortality with the moon. I'm not sure if I've topped myself since then.

>> No.14096873

>>14095864
psyop by the buzzfeed cabal to delegitimize actual poetry. you got memed, friend.

>> No.14096907

>>14096870
Based if true

>> No.14096911

>>14096870
kek this actually sounds based, shades of Leopardi

>> No.14097102

>>14095864
Oh hoho I wonder who's the 00.1%

>> No.14097974

>>14095864
Um actually pound wrote this sweaty

>> No.14097979

>>14096870
Where can I read it?

>> No.14098006

>>14096839
Of only Bloom was alive to see him now.

>> No.14098122

>>14095864
I just want to say that I want to cum inside Rupi Kaur before anyone else claims her.

>> No.14098140
File: 136 KB, 768x1024, 1566989676184.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
14098140

>>14095864
Children make the best poets.

>> No.14098201

>>14095864
What a legend. Every time I see it I'm floored again. Its just so good and simple.

>> No.14098227

>>14098140
>Yes, but I don't want to.
What did she meant by that? Is she dead?

>> No.14098257

>>14098140
Honestly so based. This kid was just expressing herself, no further complexity, but my retard adult brain just looks for connection and depth, and it basically just projects meaning on to these words.

>> No.14098350

>>14095864
>They're Singing a Song in Their Rocket
Is that the Pynchmeister?

>> No.14098639

>>14098227
Allegory of child abuse

>> No.14099588

>>14098140
>Yes, but I don't want to.
Amazing.

>> No.14099639

>>14095864
>read OP's post
>pfft, I'm sure I could write something better if I tried...
>think about it for 10 minutes
>no, I actually can't

You win this round, Nael.

>> No.14099646
File: 45 KB, 400x400, 1487962435983.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
14099646

The cat
He stole Jon's pipe
Yes
YES
The cat is smoking

>> No.14099672

Lose the joy of singing,
nevermind the flame that fizzles out
Where is the happiness I never felt again
Swimming inwards but about
there is where the heart is.

>> No.14100905

>>14095864
This poem wouldn't have a tenth of the power it does if it were written by anyone other than a young boy. The YES would only be dark and out of place if an adult wrote it

>> No.14100940
File: 1.41 MB, 990x984, Screenshot_20191102-153351~2.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
14100940

>>14099646
This is pretty good, but it's a little too derivative of other poets in the Post-Nael school

>> No.14100963

>>14099646
-GARFIELD

>> No.14101182

>>14098140
Honestly don't get this one

>> No.14101247

>>14099672
cringe

>> No.14101882

>The Tyger
> am in its cage
>no
>NO
>the Ty---

My best shot.

>> No.14101900

>>14095864
Rupi Kaur wishes she could write something like that.

>> No.14101946

>>14096870
nine year old you had a good sense of visual aesthetics at least. I bet you could probably re-write that idea into a well executed story now if you tried

>> No.14102075

>>14101900
Children read her in school now

>> No.14102193

>>14095864
and I thought victor hugo was one of the greatest
What a fool I was

>> No.14102201

>>14096870
Sounds like you should top yourself.

>> No.14102275

Modern poetry never caps a six y/o level.

>> No.14102299
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14102299

>>14098140
no, I think it's the opposite.

poets make the best children

>> No.14102308
File: 98 KB, 670x573, FAB35B69-EE19-4F53-9563-19B9376FE348.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
14102308

The coomer
He’s doing it again
Yes
YES
YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

>> No.14102347

>>14096870
Calvin & Hobbes ripoff

>> No.14102544

>>14099672
by Mia, age 5

>>14101247
bet you feel stupid now.

>> No.14102607
File: 165 KB, 1274x1300, weird_smile_stock.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
14102607

>>14101882

>> No.14102964

>>14102299
That's stupid. You're stupid. And Asuka a shit.

>> No.14102986

Poetry is inspired. That's why that poem by the 6 year old is esoteric and exoteric.

>> No.14103077

>>14098140
fuck I guess women really can write after all. saved

>> No.14103120

without doubt the most evocative writing I've read in my life

>> No.14103124

>>14098140
Thank god, I've been looking for this one forever. It tops the Tiger for me.

>> No.14103201

>>14096870
pls post

>> No.14103308

>>14101182
Try reading something less advanced and more to your reading level

>> No.14104495
File: 54 KB, 784x911, 1543418230520.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
14104495

>>14103308

>> No.14104674

>>14104495
is that the fox who hates trannies?

>> No.14104715

>>14098140
Read this in an old thread, felt like sharing

Children's poetry is among some of the best I've read. They have an uncanny ability to capture and transmit emotion. Somehow they manage to use exactly the right words, something that experienced writers struggle with.

I'll post two (translated) ones I like. All these are written by children refugees fleeing war. Unfortunately I don't have the book that collects these, so I'm limited to the ones I can find.

>1
We need your help, dove!
Come to us, we need your help.
Dove, we need help
You have to help us
Otherwise we'll die.

>2
Into my little bag I put the watch
that I bought in Aleppo
I'll keep track of time
until I return to you
Aleppo

It's true minimalism. They're working with what they've got, because that's all they HAVE to work with. They can find potential in the words we pass over because of our larger vocabularies.

>> No.14104793
File: 42 KB, 600x450, robo.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
14104793

>> No.14104807

>>14104793
I got a better one

Zero One Zero
One Zero One Zero One
Zero One Zero

>> No.14104816

>>14104793
This one is very funny and based.

>> No.14104960

>>14104793
This is legit high IQ. This kid is going to be a great STEM-fag. Not very emotional and not as good as the other kids poems but it is definitely really fucking clever

>> No.14105049

People only like this poem because the boy is young and it mirrors all the rest of TRASH poetry.

>> No.14105059

>>14105049
found the resentful brainlet.

>> No.14105065
File: 1.30 MB, 198x360, Tiger chase.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
14105065

>>14095864
The tiger
He hunts the pajeet
Yes
YES
The tiger is hungry

>> No.14105079
File: 96 KB, 1024x862, 1556184548292.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
14105079

>>14098140
kino feels

>> No.14105083
File: 668 KB, 480x480, Lion.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
14105083

>>14105065
The tiger
He drinks the water
yes
YES
The tiger is thirsty

>> No.14105096

>>14099646
Garfield...easy on the pipes

>> No.14105116

Most of you don't even seem remotely ashamed in mocking literal children.

>> No.14105143

>>14105096
KEK

>> No.14105150

>>14095864
Even if I could and did you all would disagree because this meme about kids poetry is so important you’ll be biased

>> No.14105160
File: 22 KB, 334x506, 285.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
14105160

>>14105096
lmao

>> No.14105166

>>14105083
SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP

>> No.14105221

>>14105096
BASED

>> No.14105235
File: 213 KB, 1023x682, depositphotos_116032470-stock-photo-indian-tiger-drinking-water.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
14105235

>>14105166
checked

>> No.14105259

>>14105096
Holy based

>> No.14105270

>>14105096
I don't get it

>> No.14105289

>>14105116
Most of the 4chan's users have no shame.

>> No.14105311

>>14096870
sounds like shit. 9-year-old you was a hack. be better

>> No.14105326
File: 16 KB, 540x303, 1541574496848.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
14105326

>>14098140
>doesn't even rhyme
what a dumb roastie. bitch thinks she's rupi kaur or something

>> No.14105331

>>14102308
kek

>> No.14105370

>>14095864
Of course that's the case. Anyone who is "into" literature, or who proclaims themselves to be a "writer", lives with too much pretense and ego to create something honest. 99.9% of /lit/ is deeply concerned with being "good" (read: layering vague references on top of disconnected, overly-personal feelings to create a puzzle for artsy faggots to perform self-congratulatory mental masturbation to), so it's basically impossible for them to simply express themselves. They'll never touch the human spirit, because the act of pursuing "good" fundamentally disconnects them from themselves and other people.

You dipshits are chasing the vapid sentimentalism of elites (like all """"artists""""), and you're confused as to why you produce nothing that's actually good?

>> No.14105401

>>14105096
jesus christ /lit/

>> No.14105403

>>14105326
She can't be rupi kaur cause the poem is actually good

>> No.14105626
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14105626

>>14105096
top lel

>> No.14105646
File: 55 KB, 1024x822, 1505000702867.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
14105646

>>14105096
someoen explain this

>> No.14105712

It is not very vast
It is quite humble, in fact
In the future it will be reality
I simply need the correct mentality

How's my first poem, /lit/?

>> No.14105722

>>14105712
It doesn't sing

It of meagre measure
Can be perused at leisure
What brilliance of future time wrought
could assemble this product of mental drought

>> No.14105736

>>14105722
Its a poem, not a song. I thought poems are just supposed to be muh feelings.

>> No.14105745

>>14105096
kek

>> No.14105768

>>14098140
Explain. Why is the leaf hitting her

>> No.14105770

>>14105736
Yeah you’re fucking stupid. Without the craft and form, why would you even write poetry in the first place

>> No.14105777

>>14105768
Because leaves are stupid dog-fucking faggots. USA should annex Leafland and purge the local population.

>> No.14105780

>>14105736

Yes, well, if you actually want some criticism I can give you a few pointers.

You use weak language, which is fine if weakness is the emotion you want to incur upon the reader. But, in this case it is not. There are some good things in your poem, such as the duality between the weak language in "quite humble" and "in fact" - but this is ruined by how "in fact" is a platitude, and therefore the reader's mind glosses over it.

Negations are shite, and only show poor vocabulary. A man is not not hungry: he is satiated, he is not not tall, he is short. A tiger is not not ready, the tiger is lying in wait, ready to pounce.

No-one simply needs anything, need is powerful and strong - it's an addict, looking for a fix, or the gut-wrenching longing of a lovers embrace. To "simply need" something means that the object of your need is simple, not the need itself.

>> No.14105788

>>14105768
because it springs back after she stops blowing

>> No.14105789

>>14105770
>>14105780
Im not writing a poem ever again

>> No.14105791

>>14096822
this gave me a hearty kek

Imagine the amount of cookies and milk glasses on his table that went untouched because Nael was too busy seeking metaphors and similes. Mom, please. I am busy. NO.

>> No.14105801

>>14105788
What is the poem trying to convey? The lack of love from the mother and the general innocence of childhood?

>> No.14105813

>>14105801
Its a political narrative. We live in a society.

>> No.14105822

>>14105801
yea i guess
i dont get get it either
dont read so hard into it
its literally written by a child

>> No.14105832

>>14104715

That allepo one
T f w

>> No.14105851

>>14105370
Underrated post.

>> No.14105853

>>14095864
poetry is a psuedo-intellectual practice with zero artistic merit

>> No.14105868

>>14105801
the leaf represents her mother. the youth of the child reminds the mother that she is slowly decaying like a fallen leaf in autumn. she doesn't want to look at the child and remember this, and the child obliges her wish, but the leaf, briefly tasting the cold open air of freedom and its crushing solitude, immediately returns to the child.

>> No.14105888

>>14105853
and youre a dork

>> No.14105910

>>14105096
underrated

>> No.14105995

>>14104715
Holy based

>> No.14106031

>>14105780
Don't tell me what to do

>> No.14106114

In nothing I flourish,
In being mg demise.

Thoughts on my lil poem /lit/?

>> No.14106167

>>14095864
It takes an adult mind to read into this. The child meant it literally

>> No.14106346

>>14105888
well youre rude!

>> No.14106385

>>14106346
Shut up dweeb

>> No.14106386
File: 176 KB, 1199x806, MwS4aji.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
14106386

Can we stop pretending children's poetry is good?

>> No.14106399

>>14106385
*cries*

>> No.14106408

>>14106114
My

>> No.14106476

>>14105768
I think the leaves are like ideas that pop up in kid's minds. Makes sense since they always got questions. The mom's clearly not interested, but still can't get over how harshly it's described. She doesn't 'want' to. Then, the silent acceptance.

I guess the kid tries to figure out the new themselves, they fail, it hits them back in the face. The last sentence is such a self defeatist statement, this has happened so many times, the kid being actively aware of her failures, that she has just accepted herself as being inadequate. Based stuff, this shit's almost Dickinsonian with it's word economy

>> No.14106519

>>14095864
It's what happens when you grow up with a lot of trauma.
People think that tragedy produces great art but really it cuts out your tongue.

>> No.14106531

>>14106114
Dumb, gay, and cuck

>> No.14106814

>>14106531
at least it wasn't cringe

>> No.14106824

>>14095864
Tigers are symbolic for strength and power. “He has detstoyed his cage”, the author is suggesting that through tenacious tendacies one can over come what it is that’s holding them back. With the repetition of “yes”, the tiger and speaker both acknowledge that with great power comes great results.

>> No.14107187 [DELETED] 
File: 80 KB, 640x370, nigger.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
14107187

>>14095864
*ahem*

Niggers are Black,
Beaners are Brown,

Gas the Kikes,
Race war now.

>> No.14107380

>>14105722
You forgot to add "is" after "It" in the first line. Adding "one's" after "at" in the second line would improve that line. Also, "wrought" and "drought" don't rhyme and the third line is rather nonsensical

>> No.14107397
File: 593 KB, 1155x2000, tyger.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
14107397

>>14101882
fixed

>> No.14107512

>>14104674
yes, and niggers!

>> No.14107638

>>14095864
That's like all black poetry.
WATCHED HIM DUNK THE BASKETBALL
DOWN THE WHITE ANNOUNCER'S MOUTH
LIKE IT WAS THE MOON!
JABBAR!
KAREEM ABDUL JABBAR!
DIG IT!

>> No.14107773

>>14095864
The anon
cannot produce poetry
more compelling and
human
than
a six year old

Where's my award?

>> No.14107805

>>14095864
Sneed
He destroyed the fuck and suck
Yes
YES
Sneed is based

>> No.14107837

>>14105096
holy...i want more

>> No.14107871

>>14095864
I love how this triggers the everlasting fuck out of /lit/

>> No.14108221

>>14107805
chuck btfo

>> No.14108256

Mom takes the trash
Bananas and coffee
Myself underground

>> No.14108265

>>14105116
Yeah maybe you should downvote me, gb2 reddit you faggot.

>> No.14108735
File: 760 KB, 1024x683, mXPyBiI.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
14108735

>>14105083
The tiger
He relieves himself
yes
YES
The tiger is stinky

>> No.14109666

>>14108735
imagine the smell

>> No.14109708

>>14104793
incredibly based

>> No.14109712

>>14098140

Would work better without the last 2 lines desu

>> No.14109718

>>14096870
based

>> No.14109727

>>14108735
>The tiger is stinky
You could easily have ended this on an "is out" note

>> No.14111204

>>14108735
Thanks for ruining a really wholesome thread.

>> No.14111239
File: 10 KB, 325x325, Arakek.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
14111239

>>14105096
Amazing!

>> No.14111750

>>14096870
I really want to read this now

>> No.14111944

>>14095864
The tiger is free, but he's also out of his cage, with YOU. He might pose a danger

>> No.14112841

>>14105777
based content and numbers

>> No.14112897

>>14108735
UH OH

>> No.14112913

Sweat and blister
The road is long
I'll fuck your sister
With my big dong

From whence I come I cannot say
But where I go? Her canapé.

>> No.14113087

>>14105166
based schlop poster

>> No.14113761

>>14106386
>Hold!
>HOLD!
>FIRE!

>> No.14113846
File: 59 KB, 522x583, 1434499509724.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
14113846

>>14112913
>from from where

>> No.14114567

yo i got a turd in my bag
doesn't matter
i wasn't living before friday anyway

>> No.14115063

>>14108735
WE WANT POOPIES

>> No.14115747
File: 3.25 MB, 2729x1929, 1548784372775.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
14115747

Behold, the Nael killer

>> No.14115796

>>14105789
Don't let his pretense stop you. The more you write the better you get, as long as you criticize yourself.

>> No.14115800

>>14112913
>From whence
'Whence' means 'from where', so 'from whence' is redundant

>> No.14116142

>>14104715
Hey mate can you give me a source on these?

>> No.14116148

>>14115747
not even close to as good. barely playing the same sport

>> No.14116445

>>14096870
Post it

>>
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