Help Marrying Young

[Anonymous No.14588604]

I'm a twenty year old guy, a sophomore in college, and I want to get married while I'm young. I specifically want to marry someone with good Christian values and who would stay home to raise a big family. I'm tired of wasting my time trying to date most women on campus and on apps like Tinder and Bumble. What books would give me the information needed to find a good wife and create a Christian family?

[Anonymous No.14588618]

Fixed your image

[Anonymous No.14588625]

The One Straw Revolution isn't super practical, but it is a fun read about traditional life outside you might enjoy.

Good luck finding someone like that though. They are very rare and if you have been on 4chan for a while, you likely will not be able to connect with such a person well. Very often girls like that have been homeschooled and have a totally different set of interests. If you truly want a girl like that, you need to get off here asap since it will just make you harder to relate to.

[Anonymous No.14588629]

>>14588618
Based.

[Anonymous No.14588630]

>>14588604
go to church, dumbass.

[Anonymous No.14588636]

>>14588630
you aren't just going to magically find a wife at church. That is pretty naive.

[Anonymous No.14588642]

>>14588604
>I specifically want to marry someone with good Christian values and who would stay home to raise a big family.
But why would you want to do that? You would be working all day long so that they could be comfortable, but they in turn would never appreciate your sacrifice.

It's not like starting a family does away with the loneliness. If anything, it makes it worse.

[Anonymous No.14588651]

>>14588604
humanae vitae

[Anonymous No.14588652]

lmao I live in a rual part of VA and pump and dump "good" christian girls all the time, you need a book on cope.

[Anonymous No.14588653]

Married guy here.

What do you bring to the table? You're a sophomore in college. Do you work? Do you have money? Are you in debt? Are your genes good (handsome, tall, skinny, etc.)? What are your plans after college? What are your hobbies (aside from reading)? Are you socially adjusted or socially maladjusted?

[Anonymous No.14588657]

>>14588604
I also want to be apart of a strong Christian community and not one where they're only Christian for an hour on Sunday and then rush home after church to go watch the football game. So many churches are just a product to be consumed and/or entirely full of old people.

I've currently been going to a conservative Mennonite church for the past few months and they seem to be a great group of people out in the country who are very tight knit. They take their religion very seriously and have a youth group that is very alive.

However it's very hard to break into as they've all grown up together in a pretty different culture from me. Not to mention, many of them are related. Plus I live on campus, working on getting my degree. While they all live in the country and many of them work together.

[Anonymous No.14588693]

>>14588653
Not him, but being skinny is a sign of good genes?

[Anonymous No.14588699]

>>14588693
low bodyfat is a sign of high testosterone.

[Anonymous No.14588723]

>>14588636
cant tell if youre being sincere or not but lots of people that go to church together form relationships with each other

[Anonymous No.14588727]

>>14588653
Hm, good question. I try to work out 5 times a week and weigh about 135 pounds and I'm 5'10''/5'9'' give or take. I'd say I have a runners body although I'm probably still a little too on the skinny side.

My hobbies so far are maybe too nerdy. I go to board game club, philosophy club, and I play dnd lol. I also read alot, play video games, and go hiking in state/national parks. besides parks, I also go on road trips alot to religious places of significance. Think monasteries, unique churches, or sometimes things like a Mormon temple or the Bahai House of Worship. I recently am getting more into guns and hobby shooting.

I'm not in debt, I come from a rich family so I don't work while I'm in college. It's all paid for. I take the max amount of credits the university allows and I'm working on getting a computer science degree.

I couldn't say if I'm handsome or not lol. I don't have any disfigurements like bad acne, bad chin, one eye, etc. I also am decently socially adjusted. It's not like I walk around looking at the floor and have friends who I go out with. I've had sex before and girlfriends although I regret it now a bit.

[Anonymous No.14588743]

>>14588652
Even the Amish have pre marital sex a decent amount of the time so I'm not surprised. The main thing of importance is if they think of marriage as a commitment and divorce a sin and not something to be encouraged. Also if the church she is apart of is traditional while making up a huge chunk of her social group to back this thinking up.

Plus I want a wife who wants a big family and who embraces her role as a care taker. Not someone who wants to pursue a carrier till she's 40 and then have one kid with artificial insemination.

[Anonymous No.14588757]

>>14588727
anon, what i'm about to say, i say with 100% sincerity and good intention: do not get married unless you are okay with getting cheated on or divorced. you are not the kind of man who can keep a woman in line, and you probably never will be. that is nothing against you as a man, its not your fault that you are who you are, but we live in a certain reality where things are fucked and we have to live accordingly.

[Anonymous No.14588771]

>>14588604
>Christian

[Anonymous No.14588778]

>>14588604
Kek

[Anonymous No.14588781]

>>14588642
Couple of reasons. One is If I have many kids and I raise them correctly, they'll likely have many kids and I will have the legacy and privilege of being able to guide so many through this life here on Earth.

Two is it's a great retirement plan emotionally as I think old age will be alot more satisfying and peaceful if I have alot of grandkids to see and children that'll watch out for me.

Three is a big family is a secure family with many members to rely on. They'll help each other out hopefully and be more successful as a big group. Plus I imagine there's a lot of fun to be had with a big family. My dad came from a family with 11 kids and it's a blessing to have so many relatives.

Four I recognize there's no escaping suffering fully, there's single people suffering and married people suffering. But with a stable partner there'd be someone to journey through life with and enjoy it. Someone to help me be a better person and hold me accountable. Also I can't deny I have a sexual nature and desires. But I think it's healthier to express those in a loving committed relationship where you know stds won't be a thing and if she gets pregnant accidentally you could handle that. I'd hate to get a girl pregnant and have her kill my child through abortion. The guilt would be incredible.

[Anonymous No.14588794]

>>14588757
>not the kind of man who can keep a woman in line

What's that suppose to mean? Also there are alternative cultures around the world and even in the US from the mainstream secular one.

[Anonymous No.14588814]

>>14588630
I already do that, see >>14588657

I'm making some progress but it's still a slow burn. Slightly concerned it'll go like the last conservative church I attended last year. I managed to find a trad girlfriend but we had to break up as the church she was apart of shunned me because I didn't believe in a literal interpretation of bible, I believe in evolution for example, and I guess I sadly rubbed people the wrong way. It was a pretty ugly scene desu.

[Anonymous No.14588879]

>>14588781
Anon, I don't want to be the naysayer but please consider that your view of marriage might be too optimistic.

For what reason do you suppose that when you get old, your children and grand children will be around for you to rely on, instead of minding mostly their own troubles? My grandpanrets were loved and highly respected in our extensive family. It looked just as you say, peaceful and secure. But as soon as they started to have medical and financial problems, of all their 4 children and 10 grandchildren, only one of my cousins, my mother, and myself were around. Even so, I admit I weren't as helpful as I should have been, well, because I'm barely handling my own problems. I know for a fact that this isn't out of ordinary. Many families are much worse.

Just consider things might not as great as they appear from a distance, because as you probably know, it's rarely that way. What proof could you have the cute living girl of today won't turn into an ugly hag 10 years later, who cheats on you just to spite you?

[Anonymous No.14588911]

I think you're a dumb 20 year old. Don't be in a rush to marry anyone or you'll be miserable, enjoy this time in your youth and wait until you can actually provide for a family to think about starting one. You're in a time to prepare yourself right now, and most girls at 20 are not looking to marry immediately at least not the sane ones.

t. 22 year old who was in your position two years ago

[Anonymous No.14588923]

>>14588814
My theology is similar to that of a liberal quaker in many ways except when it comes to social issues. I believe God is a force that acts through people and can be felt within you if you are open to it. Especially while meditating or reading religious texts. It's also a force that if you listen to will guide you to do what's right and avoid evil. I think it's a great source of strength and inspiration. I also think if you allow this inner force to guide your life you can find peace and fortitude. Jesus said the kingdom of Heaven is within us and I think you can experience a piece of Heaven while here on Earth. Call this force the holy spirit if you like.

I believe God is also a cosmic force that is the universe and how it works. By working in congruence with this force you can live a happy and fulfilling life as there is a set way to live in our circumstance that'll lead to fulfillment and peace that has be laid out by this force. Often times we need to work with our circumstances and change our mindset to be happy. I think of God very similarly to how the Dao is described in China or Spinoza's pantheism. I don't believe strongly either way in whether an afterlife truly exists although I am open to the possibility.

I also believe in Jesus as a great teacher and a Bodhisattva of sorts. Someone with great love and compassion. However I question the possibility of a resurrection and miracles. I don't voice these thoughts outloud much, though.

This way of thinking often comes out and gets me in trouble in conservative circles that have the same social views as me but not the same theological ones. Now I think I'm better at going with the flow, though.

[Anonymous No.14588943]

>>14588879
Sadly people are too focused on their careers and lack a strong sense of community. Big families once they grow up too often all move away from each other. They help each other out alot but still are too independent. Communities are formed just as much through some sort of necessity as they are common culture.

That's why I'm thinking of joining a commune like the Bruderhof where everyone shares their money and commits to living together. That way there will be some interdependence between the members and therefore, a tight community. Also through sharing they can ensure no one has to move to get a job to survive.

[Anonymous No.14588949]

>>14588757
You are right to be wary, but maybe you are a bit too pessimistic: despite what /lit/izens believe, there are still some good women out there. There is still some room for goodness in the world. Yes, be wary, but do not despair

[Anonymous No.14588955]

>>14588604
Cities were, are, and always will be the physical manifestation of civilization and culture. A fact that has existed since the emergence of Jericho and Çatalhöyük. Keep seething flyoverfag, your cope picture won't change reality. Why can't you just accept your home for what it is instead of trying to foolishly attack your strawman

[Anonymous No.14588967]

>>14588879
Also everyone gets ugly eventually as we all age, get sick, and die. I accept that eventually sex will probably fade and a marriage will turn more into a mature deep friendship than a passionate sexual romance. Although there are still old and fat people fucking. I think if you have the same values, religion,willing to keep each other accountable, and both of you aren't still childish a marriage should be manageable.

[Anonymous No.14588997]

>>14588955
Humans are meant to be live in tight knit tribes and apart of nature. Granted true happiness comes through mental cultivation and connecting with a higher power. So happiness is attainable anywhere. But I think it's sure of a hell a lot easier to obtain when you live in congruence with your nature and design. Besides it's often easier to avoid trappings in the country. As cities are home to way more degeneracy.

[Anonymous No.14589007]

>>14588771
>>14588778
?

Anyone have any more book suggestions btw?

[Anonymous No.14589104]

>>14588923
Fucking disgusting. Stop trying to invade these poor communities you pretentious little heathen. You're just another one of a long list of /pol teens brainwashed into thinking the grass is greener on the other side. If you can't find a woman to fulfill your wants and desires of a big family, you're not going to fare any better as an outsider (DnD and a computer science degree what a joke) in these largely incompatible spaces that you have no connection to outside of some shitty idealized dream.
You browse 4chan ffs. Just accept that it isn't for you

Also 20 in college and obsessed with getting married? The other guy is right you could never hold a woman in line as you are currently. You're literally just an impressionable follower, everything you've said paints you as exactly the same as every other recent "trad waifu" obsessed mass produced teen /pol/ is able to make and control at will through fucking the latest memes.
No doubt you won't listen to me, but you'll probably grow out of it on your own anyway, you are very young and malleable after all, even though you yourself think you're got everything all figured out.

[Anonymous No.14589171]

>>14589104
Ouch, it's not very helpful to suggest abandoning an ideology without offering something to take its place. Especially by just insulting me. I won't deny I browsed /pol/ alot and my ideas are influenced by them. But so are everyone ideas.

I suppose if I was purely intellectually honest I wouldn't go to a fundamentalist church but never the less I think a relationship with someone who's not as tainted as the average person and who prioritizes things other than dopamine spikes is ideal. I also want to be apart of a tight knit community where everyone helps one another and is friends. Conservative Christians are the only ones offering these things and so I'm willing to bend my opinions to try to become part of this.

Although you did give me pause. I wonder if I could have a long term relationship with someone I'm not fully intellectually honest with. Also if I can't achieve community through Christianity, what are my other options? I don't want to be alone. I feel so alone everyday I just want it to end.

[Anonymous No.14589187]

>religious LARP
>reactionary
>no stability
>i want to marry a qt virgin trad girl
>/lit/
get the fuck out

[Anonymous No.14589224]

>>14589187
How do you see life and how it should be lived?

[Anonymous No.14589227]

>>14588604
Anyone who has kids before 30 is an idiot, don't fall for the reactionary memes
The world is too complicated anon, just focus on yourself right now, you're at a very volatile part of your life, no matter how together you think you have it

[Anonymous No.14589245]

>>14589224
>How do you see life
As something much more than seeking out a mate and procreating.
>how it should be lived
Certainly not in accordance with imaginary covenants.

[Anomynous No.14589262]

>>14588604
I used to desire that as well but I've reached to point where I've realized it'll never happen.
Well, the marrying young part at least.
Finding a woman with similar values though will be incredibly difficult though. I know they exist, but they can only be found on the internet, and I've learned that a relationship cannot succeed over the internet.

At this point I've already mentally prepared myself for the fact that I'll live the rest of my life alone, and that I won't be able to achieve my dreams. I'll just have to be content with trying new hobbies until I'm bored of everything in life and off myself.

[Anonymous No.14589268]

>>14588604

[Anonymous No.14589275]

>>14589227
Right now I find college to be a sacrifice I'm making for a better future and I'd like to plan and envision that future. I don't see what'd be wrong with getting married once I have a steady source of income? Or even at the tail end of college so long as we waited to have kids.

I try to focus on myself by reading, trying to stay healthy, focusing on studies, and having fun when I can afford it. But I want to have my life build up to something and I want to have somewhere I belong. However with religion fading in society there's not much else to build a true community on where people sacrifice for the betterment of the community. So I see no choice but to retreat to it with a new found perspective. A synthesis made from the religious fundamental viewpoint of my ancestors and the enlightenment brought secular thinking of today that called it irrational.

[Anonymous No.14589279]

>>14589227

This statement is clearly false where women are concerned. A man should have his shit together though, yes, and 30's a fair suggestion here.

[Anonymous No.14589286]

>>14589171
>I'm willing to bend my opinions to try to become part of this
You aren't going to truly fit in with them if you don't really believe in the same way. As a believer, you can smell that on people. If you're a guy who is coming to the church because they have good optics and because of your differing views on God and Christ, you're going to stick out.

A fundamentalist Christian girl isn't going to marry a guy who doesn't believe in Jesus Christ in the same way if her faith is that important to her. You have to go all in on that stuff, and you're not there yet. If you're faking it, that would be the worst thing you could do for her.
Would you be someone who a trad, christian girl is dreaming to marry? What qualities in a man do you think she is looking for? Not to be harsh, but chances are a dnd playing nerd who thinks jesus is just a great teacher aren't on the list.

Maybe spend some time in prayer or think about why you are so eager to get married. Make a list of things you need to work on to better yourself with. Best of luck anon.

[Anonymous No.14589304]

>>14589275
I envy your optimism anon, you're 20 or so?
I was in your position 5 years ago. By all means follow your vision.
But the past is gone, we can never go back to Norman Rockwell communities.
If you seriously want to live a holistic life you have to leave the first world.

[Anonymous No.14589308]

>>14589245
Building up a tribe and finding peace and security in it while giving it a culture and guidance. I find this to be a noble cause in the vastness of humanity. I accept I won't be someone to write down in the history books but that doesn't mean I can't be of grave importance in my immediate life and set in motion a chain of events that may lead to something spectacular. Not to mention I think a simple life not distracted by hollow pursuits and unobtainable dreams is probably best.