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/lit/ - Literature

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14888224 No.14888224 [Reply] [Original]

9/11 was the most magnificent event of the last 200 years. It was the fist of tradition, the Hand of God, knocking down the profane Tower of Babel once again. It was a fatal wound. The New World Order went to war to reassert itself, and the result? Bin Laden is dead, but the Taliban are still around, and winning.

Now everything points to the end of techno-civilzation. The psychic damage, the grief burned into the soul and sense of the hyperreal by this stunning rebuke has proven too much for it. The unholy light of the Enlightenment is dimming. Rejoice, for good times are coming! Actually, very bad times if you're attached to civilization, but get fucked if you are.

>> No.14888246

i have fallen in love with a girl i've never met
she doesn't know i exist
i somehow know a few things about her
i wil try to approach her in the most normal way possible, just to meet her
she has the most beautiful smile but she's like too quiet
i'm learning to an instrument so we have something in common

>> No.14888254

That happens. Just roll those dice anon.

>> No.14888270
File: 3.00 MB, 2800x2974, 1566879206925.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Waking up at 5 in the morning has actually improved my days immensely. It isn't necessarily the extra work I get done, (though that is nice), but the meditative pleasure it gives me. There are few people in the world at this hour, and the ones who are seem genuinely friendlier. The lighting and the air are also pleasant, like twilight without the sleepiness.

>> No.14888818

A girl I'm seeing asked me to go to a party with her and her friends and I'm
really not I'm the mood but I'm going to anyways. I've been trying to more social lately but it's so fucking tiresome. Staying on my room listening to music, reading, writing and smoking weed is way more comfy.

>> No.14888821

holy fucking simp

>> No.14888860
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>> No.14888867

reminder to get a row of women you are interested in and who are interested in you and then make some of them hate your guts (pretending like that's avoidable)

the worst case scenario that can happen to this anon is if he gets the relationship

>> No.14889407

To the guy who was asking about upbringing and college - I was a really smart kid in high school. I got really high grades and SAT scores. I went to private school where we had to read a lot of the classics and learn latin and such. I had the highest scores in my class but I barely read on my own and I was kind of fat and out of shape. My mom was basically a materialistic drone who divorced my already upper middle class dad to marry a millionaire (who she later divorced anyway) and kept me from seeing my dad again until I was much older. She convinced me basically that money is the only thing that matters and I had to go to college or else I would be worthless. She encouraged me to go to state school instead of the small liberal arts college I liked. Like any teenager would, I believed my mother so I enrolled at the state school which was supposed to be quite good according to rankings. We were crammed into classrooms with sometimes hundreds of other students to basically get a mass produced education under the guise of a “top ranked school”. The entirety of the college experience revolved around making yourself palatable to corporations or else partying and football pretty much. Nobody ever really asked me if liked what I was studying or if I was learning anything or how I was doing though some professors occasionally took pride in failing as many many students as possible. By my sophomore year, I realized that I didn’t want to be there and was completely depressed but I felt like I couldn’t drop out so I just switched to econ and started mailing it in from there. I actually hated economics but I was convinced I wasn’t smart enough for STEM and the humanities seemed like an sjw nightmare. I slugged it out with depression and apathy for life for the next 5 years only to finally graduate with a low GPA in a degree I never even wanted and $55k in student loan debt. Now, I work at an office cuck wage job that makes me unironically consider hanging myself. I can’t even quit because no other job can cover my student loan payments. I emphasize cover, not pay off. We’re talking making the minimum monthly payment here. I love my mom still but sometimes I wish I could kill her for being such an absolutely shit person and drilling it into my head that I had to go through all that. Basically, to summarize my whole experience was complete and utter dogshit surpassed only by my experience of everything since so I hope yours is better. I had my IQ tested at 145 once but often worry that I was actually always just some unintelligent proletariat shmuck who never belonged there in the first place.

>> No.14889411

I also wake up at 5 am and most days immediately get dressed and go for a walk. It’s the best way to start the day especially when the sun is about to come up and the stars are still out.

>> No.14889418

I also hate the disgusting profane America, but do you really think the taliban were the good guys?

>> No.14889687

They are closer to the Ground of reality than the seculars. Their religion is warlike; so be it, it is also revelation. Death is not real.

That which is
Can never cease to be; that which is not
Will not exist. To see this truth of both
Is theirs who part essence from accident,
Substance from shadow. Indestructible,
Learn thou! the Life is, spreading life through all;
It cannot anywhere, by any means,
Be anywise diminished, stayed, or changed.
But for these fleeting frames which it informs
With spirit deathless, endless, infinite,
They perish. Let them perish, Prince! and fight!
He who shall say, "Lo! I have slain a man!"
He who shall think, "Lo! I am slain!" those both
Know naught! Life cannot slay. Life is not slain!
Never the spirit was born; the spirit shall cease to be never;
Never was time it was not; End and Beginning are dreams!
Birthless and deathless and changeless remaineth the spirit for
Death hath not touched it at all, dead though the house of it
Who knoweth it exhaustless, self-sustained,
Immortal, indestructible, — shall such
Say, "I have killed a man, or caused to kill?"

>> No.14889718

I am considering changing to economics. I hate my classes in law school. Why dont you like eco?

>> No.14890359

I always felt like college was sort of garbage in general but that field just felt like this modern middle class obsession to turn money speculation into a science. It drew in some of the most materialistic bug type of people and lots of career go-getters, of whom I am definitely not one or at least I hope not but then I probably would’ve resisted more if I wasn’t. I don’t know. In my experience, it’s rife with dogma and academic group think as well. I’m not anti-capitalist but I’ve come to be somewhat anti-economic. The most redeemable part was the math in my opinion.

>> No.14890597

Not who you're responding to, but are there any quant courses you would recommend then?

>> No.14890609

I agree 9/11 was a force which freed the pendulum of time in the consciousness of Western society, stuck in the post-orgasmic goo of 'end of history' euphoria when the Soviet Union fell, and once again now swinging back and forth to the beat of a variegated political and spiritual war, in which the Western liberal democratic capitalist order as we knew it is fatally wounded. I don't, however, agree that also means this 'points to the end of techno-civilization.' The direction of Enlightenment progress has only shifted, reoriented to another future on the horizon. Look at China, the technocratic managerial state par excellence. India is dying to join the global capital syndicate. All movements within the West of any note or support is only furthering the line of modernism, ala fascism or socialism. The ancien regime is dead, the spirit of the pre-Enlightenment world is dead. And that's fine, the only proper and viable way of conquering the status quo, the prevailing ideologies serving the cartel of the money-crazed elite, is through, not going back.

>> No.14890621
File: 65 KB, 556x1000, this.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi,
miserere nobis.
Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi,
miserere nobis.
Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi,
dona nobis pacem.

>> No.14890644

Just now, my heart stopped for no apparent reason. For a brief moment, before I could realize what was happening, it was a strange feeling of peace. I hope my death will be as gentle as this.

>> No.14890647

Yeah, you're schizo nonsense aside, 9/11 was in fact the most magnificent event of the last 200 years, and yes, that's including events in other countries that were ultimately not affected. It changed the course of culture and how we've as a society approach life and the levity of it is still felt to this day even in the time of the Internet.

>> No.14890659

Where is that from exactly?

>> No.14890679

So are you arguing that Islam advocates murder and terrorism against secular peoples? Because I don’t read that anywhere.

>> No.14890692


>> No.14890727
File: 3.78 MB, 3120x4160, IMG_20200314_135334.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

i've achieved a state of absolute tranquility & inner peace

>> No.14890746

Moving back home has been difficult - I was expelled from my university owned apartment because of the virus and given a day to move out. now i'm back in my house, remote classes, same old family fighting - plus my part time job just got cut because of the virus too.

at mass today I was the youngest person there by 40 years. the mood was somber, really I really feel unsure as to what's happening. the ground is shifting under our feet. even now applying to grad school I feel increasingly called to some sort of religious ministry or lifestyle - will there be a reckoning?

the center cannot hold...

>> No.14890893

That's like, pretty rad I guess

>> No.14891763

Bhagavad Gita

>> No.14891765

Wasn't that something Muhammad did?

>> No.14891805

It’s finally spring. Everything is closed and I don’t have class during at least one month. What a good album to listen to in this beautiful day. I should finish to read the Nouveaux Essais sur l’Entendement Humain.

>> No.14891813

If you don't mind listening to a rather heavy rendition of the mass, check out Frank Martin's Mass for double choir. The whole thing is amazing. The Angus Dei gives me shivers.

>> No.14891816

>Not the holocaust
Go get laid and end this cuckoldry.
Same, it's great isn't it. Only problem is you miss out on a lot of socialising due to an early bedtime.
Coronavirus is a spook. The world is too stable for anything big to happen.

>> No.14891842

Don't glorify it, it was just a false flag to have a casus belli that allowed the USA to steal oil from the mudslimes

>> No.14892266

I’m not an expert on Islam but to my knowledge Muhammad delivered the law that stated that Muslims had to be trained in warfare and serve in defense but that’s not exactly the same thing as terrorism.

>> No.14892273

Do you mean quant courses within the econ major? I wouldn’t recommend the econ major. Period. I would hardly recommend college but if you’re going to anyway, additional Maths and Stats are pretty much your only option.

>> No.14892295

Calle 13: "El heroe de una nacion es el terrorista de su oponente." "The hero of a nation is the terrorist of his opponent."

>> No.14892669
File: 83 KB, 640x360, Cleanliving.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I have a lot of shameful and disgusting fetishes i've been trying to get rid of for years, i've watched porn just about every day since age 11 and my mind is irreparably screwed up from it. I wish someone had protected me from this shit growing up but it's too late for me now, I will just have to try and stop others from getting addicted.

>> No.14892687
File: 95 KB, 653x490, serveimage.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

"So live, that when thy summons comes to join
The innumerable caravan, that moves
To that mysterious realm, where each shall take
His chamber in the silent halls of death,
Thou go not like the quarry-slave at night,
Scourged to his dungeon, but, sustained and soothed
By an unfaltering trust, approach thy grave,
Like one who wraps the drapery of his couch
About him, and lies down to pleasant dreams."

--An excerpt from "Thanatopsis", by William Cullen Bryant

>> No.14893023


What surreal times we live in

>> No.14893086

You can switch majors while in law school? Isn't it a separate grad school after you already get an undergraduate degree? I'm assuming you're from Europe or somewhere where it's different

>> No.14893105
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the most artificially neon pink sunset i've seen recently. phone camera undevalues the sheer pinkness an eye sees. also, snow in the middle of march
it's such a great year, almost like my dreams coming true one by one

>> No.14893121

Not that guy, but yes, other countries let you go right into law school as well as other professional specialization. America is the only country that’s so ass backward that we make you repeat high school a huge sum of money before you can do anything.

>> No.14893243

For 5 years past I hadn't been able to shed a tear. It worried me, that old wounds had scarred over, a fragment of warmth, weakness, humanity lost and never to be recovered.

But now, after six months of my mother being devoured by unsuccessful chemo, it turns out her cancer is rarely curable, and I've lost probabilities comfort, now reason robs me of hope.

Now, after seeing my fathers struggled pained smile, just one phrase need come to mind to wet eyes and cheeks, once so long dry. "Please don't take her from us yet. I don't want my mum to die."

>> No.14893277


>> No.14893301
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moscow suburb. there was a mild blizzard with very strong winds (even killed someone in the city) yesterday evening, now it's comfy and snowy instead of regular spring mud
pic is why i'm glad to have a snowy break

>> No.14893324

For the first time in my life, I've seen a street empty. Surely, a surreal feeling: in the mind it's no more than a minimalist image, but when I actually saw it, it just hit completely differently. I never thought I would see such thing in my home, in a western European country.

>> No.14893337

>bin Laden
i hate you burgers

>> No.14893345

experienced this a couple years ago at about 9am on 1st Jan in moscow. most people were at home sleeping or hungover. crowdless streets dont really look, but FEEL so breathtaking it's almost like they're meant to be so.

>> No.14893364

Stocked, locked, and bugging in for now. Have to go to work on Friday unless they call it off. Pretty sure they won't and if they don't I'm going to sterilise that place like crazy. I work in a hobby store where we have stuff out and people touching things. Not Friday, if I can help it. Seriously going minimalist for the good of everyone because I'll be there Saturday (once again if we're not closed). It's the only reason I leave the house and part of my routine so for my psych I won't deviate unless I really have to.

The general response to this has been terrible.

>> No.14893373

get infected and hang out at faggot bookstores (make sure to COOF on every book you dislike)
stop being a pussy about some flu and become a hound of panic

>> No.14893422


>> No.14893434

How far from Moscow are you and how big is this ranch of yours? Is densely suburban there or fairly sparse?

>> No.14893524

Is it over for you if you didn’t develop a passion for and start creating art, literature, and philosophy by your late teens or early twenties?

>> No.14893525
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1hr10min away by light train, it's a bumfuck nowhere by moscow standards, very low and sparse population. the stable i'm at is a part of a ski/sports club (with customarily retarded guys in charge), my sis is head of the stable and i'm working there as a gesture of good will and to be with our horses (we own two, the white gelding on previous pics and the chaddest mare possible, pic related)

>> No.14893567

I’ve worked with horses before. I’m in the US and typically you find ranches within an hour of most cities but they’re usually quite small until you get further into the countryside. Russia fascinates me so I was just curious what the time and distance gradient between urban to rural was like.

>> No.14893610

it's not a ranch, just a relatively small (16 horses) stable with some goats, sheep, rabbits and birds (meant to be a mini zoo but looks like a regular tiny-scale farm to go with the stable)
more prestigious stables are usually closer to the city or situated in more "civilized" suburban areas, usually the less accessible the cheaper and shittier it is.
there are big farms in somewhat remote areas, idk much about the actual farming industry here, i'm just a nigga with sugarcube crumbles in my headphone jack

>> No.14893626

American society has barely factored in the extent and severity of the niggerological phenomena that stands to be triggered by the viral outbreak. This is a ticking time bomb and I'm afraid emergency responders and task forces are under-equipped to respond to the surge of wildly irrational criminal behavior. You will have to be Snake Pliskin to get around the likes of NYC past sundown, the south is sure to become a tragicomedy of lasting proportions. The cascade of unravelment is only just beginning.

>> No.14893852

We’d still call that a ranch in the US. It’s sort of a slang term for a place that boards horses even though stable is probably more appropriate. The place I worked at was only a few acres but we had access to a nearby national forest.

>> No.14893981

Today I am reminded how deficient i am as a human bean; I've seen people fall into despair at the mere thought of being alone for four weeks in case of a quarantine, I cannot grasp what they must be feeling no matter how hard I try. Something's missing.

>> No.14894299

How will we look back on recent events five years from now? Will this be the start of a major recession or even depression? Or will this be the start of something even worse, the Great Unraveling not seen since the Fall of the Roman Empire or the Bronze Age Collapse? Or will this whole thing blow over a few months from now?

>> No.14894337

It's kind of funny, but I was a lot more anxious about the state of things last year when I was hypomanic but the economy was doing really well. Then I fell into a bad depression from fall to winter. It was only about a month after being human again that all of this shit started kicking off. I understand things could be really bad, but I'm a lot more zen. Last year was a frantic rush to prepare myself for what my intuition told me was a coming collapse, only to lose all my money on a bad truck purchase. The depression was killer, like staying a month in bed bad. I had to determine my reason to live. And now, hardly prepared, my prediction seems to have come true. But I am stronger now having collapsed into myself. I have built upon the ruins of my psyche. Whatever comes, I will be alive.

>> No.14894884

How do I make it known to my university that making everything online is completely unacceptable? I refuse to pay full rate for this garbage, I might as well watch youtube videos

>> No.14895123

Your mind can bounce back to its natural state with time and care. Subordinate your body and it’s urges to feed your soul, not the other way around. In the grand scheme, perhaps you had to be let loose to these things without protection in order to make you see just as a virus is a gift that tells us to pay attention to our health, this too is a gift.

>> No.14895158

Drop out and watch youtube videos

>> No.14895613

Anon, you are paying for the value of your degree, nothing more or less. Students skip classes, ignore lectures while browsing their phones or laptops, etc. regularly anyways because they know this already. Employers won't care that your classes were conducted like a BS Khan Academy course when they're choosing who to hire.

>> No.14895650

I’m not a pleb, I’m at uni so I can make professional connections and establish legit research

>> No.14895857

How do I stay motivated to work on projects? I’m a friendless, hand-holdless neet virgin which is only bearable if I’m working on something, but I always lose steam after a few weeks. For example I started writing a web novel, I did a bunch of planning, wrote a bunch of chapters, starting editing and getting ready to publish, and was generally really excited to work on it. Then one morning I woke up and my motivation was gone, I’ve barely touched it since. It’s been like this with EVERY interest or endeavor I’ve had, none last more than a month or so.

Help me lads I don’t want to be this much of a loser.

>> No.14896312

You reading this, I would kill you if I could. I think you're annoying and stupid and disposable. Shut the fuck up when I fuckimg tell you to shut the fuck up and speak when I tell you to fucking speak. I'd cut your eyes out of your fucking head bitch.

>> No.14896724

How much literary talent does it take to make a death threat sound like ragetexting your ex on a toilet?

>> No.14896815


It's just a flu bro :') calm down. The media feeds on mass hysteria and the hoarding of toilet paper is a good example of people in panick acting like cattle. This is a bounce the system has recognised in advance and will most likely be able to recover from. No need to be more alerted about anything than you would be bout the constant looming threat over a REE shortage or supply being cut by N-K/China.

>> No.14896825

Do something aggressive? That's all I can say: something irrational and aggressive (could be anything). No drugs

>> No.14896830

I'm pretty sure I'm going to make bad decisions, be spergy and awkward with people, keep living a disgusting and unhealthy lifestyle, and never really improve or go anywhere until I die or kill myself and am thrown into outer darkness to wail and gnash my teeth forever.

>> No.14896834

If you don't go to the dentist for regular cleanings you are signing up for so much misery. Flossing and brushing can only do so much. If you aren't getting regular cleanings, you are getting plaque formations that WILL cause periodontal disease and tooth decay no matter what you do.

Currently sitting here waiting for the codeine to kick in, through 30 minutes of the most excruciating pain ever, all of it avoidable if I had just gotten regular cleanings the past 3-5 years.

$500 a year is nothing. One root canal will cost you $5k, and recovering from shit teeth like this will cost another $5k. That's if you're lucky. If you're reading this and you neglect your teeth, go get a cleaning.

>> No.14896859
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>Go see dentist last week.
>Same one since 15 years
>Always happy to see me
>''Oh what an excellent state your teeth are in mr. x! Quite exceptional for a man your age; them youngsters always boozing and eating like animals!''
>Have a nice chat about vegans and tooth decay their unnatural diet causes them
>Get full visit fee paid back
>Get a neat little toothpaste tube for free
>Sparkling smile from the hot assistant
Why is life so good bros?

>> No.14896928
File: 8 KB, 221x229, 1583997093237.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>One root canal will cost you $5k
el goblino americano..
pic is my face leaving a private dentist after paying 90$ for three dental fillings, all done in maybe 45 mins
t. muscovite

>> No.14896961

>my mind is irreparably screwed up from it.
Lol, fuck off with the fatalism. 60+ days of nofap and no porn cured me of all the fetishes I didn't want to have that were porn-induced.

>> No.14897149

Anyone here into fine art? I want to get into it but don’t even know where to start. I didn’t go to art school or anything like that.

>> No.14897181

Oswald Spengler was a godsend to me in helping me understand the value and meaning of Western art. People think Decline of the West is all 'oh no it's too late, how futile history is' etc. etc. While it goes very deep into art-history and the like.

>> No.14897237

I didn’t know about Spengler’s take on art but after a precursory read online it makes a lot of sense to me. I was always into drawing and art from a young age but kept it personal because what I was seeing in schools and galleries was just so predictably institutionalized. My art teachers in high school convinced me I didn’t “get it” because I didn’t like their paintings of women breastfeeding in a suit and tie or whatever trash was on display. So I just didn’t go to art school anymore after that. I’m just looking to check out the art scene again but I’ll read Spengler. Thanks for the tip.

>> No.14897279
File: 77 KB, 600x514, 1575806133920.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

me too brother, the mind is docile when quiet, isn't?

>> No.14897298
File: 15 KB, 400x400, images (17).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>tfw the last time i went to the dentist was like 10 years ago

>> No.14897314

my mind is not quiet, it's flickering and overflowing with my schizo thoughts and ideas, but i don't feel anything about it.
no nervousness because of agitation, no apathy in times of calmness. i mastered the technique of not giving a fuck about any negatives or letting them creep into my positives.
i ignore everything thats not benefitial to me, and ignore the fact that this is "unsustainable".

>> No.14897625

It’s not easy to write the way you talk, I don’t know what’s natural. I want to reach people with a voice they can understand, but charged with enough style that there’s pleasure in reading it. I’ve digested so many traditions and forms that I have to submarine dive just to find my authentic self. And how do I approach poetry naturally, but with a sense of knowing where to properly add flavor. One bit is awareness of contemporary language, whether in high or low register, it should be known that we say “vitalize” and not “vivify”. That’s a struggle on its own though, especially for someone entrenched in the Western canon, or with a preference for the archaic. Maybe the voice I’m using now seems contemporary, I wouldn’t know, I’m just writing as I think, “acting natural”. Let me see if I can scribble a quick poem here.

These past few days I’ve sat inside my room
Just turning pages, bored, ignoring spring.
My cat slips through the tumbled books, presumes
My mess his kingdom. This distancing thing
Isn’t unordinary, nights resume
Their norm: friends fizzle from my magic ring.

>> No.14897697


>> No.14897735

Yeah, know what you mean, youre not one of them at all.

>> No.14897770

this is written gayly, insincerely. cringey, being flowery about your mom, whyd you even write this.

>> No.14897779

I'm getting bored. I'm getting crushed. Because I'm not.

>> No.14897784
File: 76 KB, 1280x720, 1572871130369.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>I would hardly recommend college

>> No.14897819

I really like the fellas at work and i finally feel like im starting to fit in with them and feel welcome

they invited me out for some drinks next week and I want to but im too scared at the same time

>> No.14898120

I spent my teens and early twenties living le literary lifestyle and I gotta say, I think normies had it right the whole time.
>don’t care much about politics
>don’t even know what “political economy” means
>college memories are all hanging out with friends and partying, don’t even remember what degree they got
>doesn’t care about philosophy or finding “meaning” in life
>happy to spend their weekends going to bars and hipster restaurants, never once considered needing to have accomplishments or a legacy
>reads purely to enjoy the plot
>get a gf, lose a gf, get married, get divorced, just goes with it
>will probably retire and spend their time fly fishing or some shit with their grandchildren
Contrast this to whatever neurotic mess your life is

>> No.14898206

I spent my teens and early twenties trying desperately to do the normie thing even though I was naturally lit and I pretty much regret it

>> No.14898311


This is like some John Green tier shit

>> No.14898491

This social distancing people are suggesting is bullshit. The government needs to make it mandatory with a curfew or else people are just going to keep being retarded and doing whatever the fuck they want. Workers need to either work from home or the government needs to step in and make companies pay their workers a stipend to not expose themselves or anyone else. This reactive instead of proactive shit needs to stop.

People are so goddamn stupid. They won't stop unless it's made mandatory.

>> No.14898524

I'm staying home for 10 days already. Today they closed the city down for another 15.

I understand it, but still, shoot me please.

>> No.14898623

Nietzsche wrote “What does your conscience say? You shall become what you are.” When I read great writers and thinkers there’s a story arc that’s clear to see. There’s a series of points along the over arching story of individual’s life that ultimately culminates in giving their life a central purpose. As I look back on my life I’m deathly afraid that I can’t say the same for myself. It has been nothing but a prolonged period of shallow engagement with the world with nothing of particular note. I’m at a point where I’m in my late twenties and all I can say is I feel a need for the whole sale rejection of the normal life I had from 17-25. There are men I admire and things I aspire to but, in truth, I lack the faculties and worse yet, I lack the history to carry these out. My biggest regret is an eagnerness to examine myself and my late far too late and an unwillingness to abandon what is less than life in favor of what is more than life.

>> No.14898669

Is it actually closed, though? We have a lot of restrictions but everything seems to be exempt which is bullshit. Nothing useful is being done. It's a show but ineffective.

>> No.14898876

do you mean you want to appreciate it or you want to learn how to make fine art? either way just go to a good gallery, find a few pieces that really speak to you and spend the majority of your time there just taking them in, for as long as it takes

>> No.14898940

It was an inside job you fool

>> No.14899075

i dont care how you feel

>> No.14899120

It makes me so sad to read stories like this. I have a similar background, my parents were materialistic shitheads who drove it into their kids that money solved all problems. I was lucky I disregarded them and cut out everyone as soon as I could. Unfortunately my siblings are choking in the system now, just like you. I don't know what to do to help them. What kind of support could someone offer you?

Most people write the way the speak or want to speak. The real challenging is capturing a voice which isn't yours. I ghost write on the side to curb that writer's itch and it's one of the most underappreciated jobs out there.

>> No.14899309

Redpill me on 2666. What's it about? Is it worth it?

>> No.14899386

Both. I would like to both create and critique. I was more or less looking for journals or publications or even books dealing with contemporary fine art that are good.

>> No.14899428

Nothing now, unless there’s a way to turn back time or salvage it. It’s not even the money that bothers me so much as the wasted time and missed intellectual development, which I know needs to take place outside of the classroom today but at least the spark can be present in the classroom. I had other serious things going on too but I think the hardest part was the lack of a guide. I had literally no advisement, no mentorship, nothing. Nobody ever asked me what I liked or was good at until a girlfriend did when I was already out of college. The only influences I had I now realize were negative ones. I think having someone to show me the ropes and provide, not necessarily the spark, but the fire would’ve been helpful. If they’re still in school, I think the best thing to do would be to foster a sense of examination for themselves, their lives, and their spirit and to start developing a worldview as early as possible.

>> No.14899443

read Charles Bowden

>> No.14899452

I'm sorry to hear that anon. I went to a small liberal arts school instead of the state school my dad wanted me to go to, and I definitely think I would've been more miserable if I went to the state school.

I still was really stressed and depressed at the liberal arts school (it was still far from perfect) but the professors were actually interested in teaching and most had intelligible accents.

Not saying this to make you feel worse or anything. I also work some office job and if my parents didn't pay for my college I'd be underwater with debt. I think in some ways it would've been what you imagined and in other ways it would've fallen short.

>> No.14899459


>> No.14899472

Bit hyperbole to compare him to the great master bro.

>> No.14899504

holy fuck this panic over the coof is so stupid. some diabetic chainsmoking boomers are gonna die, quick, dump the economy into the sewer! buy all the tp! scalp people selling hand sanitizer for $150 a bottle!
they need to be lined up and shot.

>> No.14899534

> Nobody ever asked me what I liked or was good at
May I ask what your answers are to these things now that you're older and have thought about it?

>best thing to do would be to foster a sense of examination for themselves, their lives, and their spirit and to start developing a worldview as early as possible
One is a lying failure who thinks getting into a 4-year university is going to give him credibility and correct his inadequacy. I have no clue how to speak to him. The other is finishing school and I've been trying to encourage them to pursue a path of passion over what society currently deems "respectable". I do routinely ask both of them what they enjoy and what they want out of life barring material needs but it feels like they dismiss my advice no matter how hard I try. As someone who has felt massively lost in school, what kind of counseling approach would you have taken seriously? How would you try talking to yourself at your worst?

I get the sense my siblings think poorly of me, both as someone ostracized by the adults in our lives and as a person who seemingly stumbled their way into incredible success. I really want to help them find happiness but I really don't know how to talk to them if they're shutting me out.

The panic is stupid but the precautions being taken shouldn't be dismissed just because people are reacting foolishly. I'm fairly nonchalant about the whole thing but reading all the ignorant comments on the situation makes me worry for the future. It's not about who it affects, it's about how well we an respond to a real crisis.

>> No.14899604

the only precautions needed were the 70+ age cohort to stay in instead of going to diners and starbucks every day. that's it. everyone else would have been fine. we're throwing the economy in the toilet because a bunch of people who don't even contribute to the economy feel bored and lonely if they stay at home. on top of that, people are acting like animals. if they want to larp as a zombie apocalypse survivor they should get into paintball instead. i wish there would be actual repurcussions and consequences for media figures who fearmonger and overhype with intent to incite panic. we have laws on the books, let's use them. sue CNN etc into the ground and use their money to recussitate the economy. i'm so disgusted with how everyone is acting.

>> No.14899650

It's about some german author, I bought it for the kickass cover and it's written in a way that makes me long for death. Very long and meandering, perhaps it gets better as you get further into it, but I cannot speak to that.

>> No.14899666

read Charles Bowden, it's shorter and roughly the same topic

>> No.14899674

There’s a couple of things like I’ve always had a real natural talent for drawing and painting which got kind of stomped out of me and choked off in my later formative years, but I think it’s not a matter of majoring in art or something like that. What I’m more so getting at is that what I did was something which I didn’t want to do and which nobody needed me to do and I did it just because I felt so much pressure like someone else wanted me to. It was an unexamined way of going about things and what I regret most of all is that lack of self examination and starting an intellectual development. The most valuable thing is starting to develop a worldview that’s wholly your own.

I think its one of those things that people ultimately have to discover for themselves but it helps to be offering words even if they’re not listened to. Like I was talking to an older friend about his kid and his kid was complaining about something similar saying he never guided him or anything like that and he responded to his kid saying something along the lines of “You were just like me at 18 and you wouldn’t have listened to me anyway” and I think that’s a horrible excuse. Kids often ignore advice but you’d be surprised how much they listen and think about it even if it doesn’t show right away and I’d be willing to bet your siblings respect your input more than they will ever let on. The best way to go about it is to definitely lead by example and also not be forceful but instead guide them to the questions so they can come up with the answers themselves. It should be a matter of them looking up to you rather than you imposing down on them and the best way to do that is to grow tall on your own and just let the seeds fall without forcing them to grow. That’s just my two cents.

>> No.14899677

Does he have any kickass covers?

>> No.14899704

yeah, page 2 on this one:


>> No.14899820

Ok fine, no gf I get it it was unreasonable to expect one, but can I at least have some friends that will come eat dinner with me? Cooking for one is really lonesome.

>> No.14899822

After years of browsing and arguing on /lit/ I've started feeling a kind of discomfort from browsing it - barely came here the last few months. All the threads about philosophical questions are topics I could give a conclusive answer on, but not under these circumstances. I'm not a good enough writer/artist. I can't explain something complicated in a handful of words without seeming like I'm using meaningless buzzwords. I can't explain it in a full paragraph that couldn't be semantically criticized in a way that discards my point. And I can't explain in an interesting enough wall of text that keeps people's attention alive till the end of it.
Hesse said imparting wisdom is impossible without seeming like a fool, and though it's not quite that hopeless, he did have a point. It's incredibly difficult to talk about philosophy/wisdom in a way that doesn't invite people's hostility. Posting art on /ic/ is difficult because everybody there is an artist. Unless you eclipse them in skill they'll choose to find something in your art they can deem you inferior for. With philosophy it's the same, except everybody is a philosopher.
People talk about talent and artistic genius and the value and implications of it, and there's no shame in it. Talk about the meaning of wisdom and its nature and you'll hear a very loud voice from a very little hole telling you to shut up.
What's on my mind is my inability to answer people's questions without seeming like a pseud they wouldn't want to listen to.

>> No.14899852

Do you want to know how I called your whole post?

Learning how to contemplate life.

I've been on a Hemingway trip. I usually don't last longer than one sentence.

>> No.14899939

Have you tried to make friends or find a gf?

>> No.14899956

If were remotely near each other, I would happily eat food with you. Where are you?

>And I can't explain in an interesting enough wall of text that keeps people's attention alive till the end of it.
>seeming like a pseud they wouldn't want to listen to
A lot of words with little meaning, that's your problem. As wiser men before me have said "brevity is the soul of wit".

>> No.14899987

You can convey an interesting idea in few words, like Nietzsche and Goethe, or with an essay, like DFW and Melville, or via a story, like Dostoevsky and Camus. All three approaches are difficult.

>> No.14900030

Have you read Moby Dick?

>> No.14900117

Melville and Dostoevsky may be verbose but they aren't diving head-first into flowery writing while doing so. I mean the latter is consistently praised for his clear minded and palatable writing. Anyways my advice was meant to be constructive, there's no hostility here. Maybe I'm up my own ass about the whole thing.

>> No.14900344
File: 40 KB, 531x683, 1579686668082.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Had what I could only consider a nightmare this morning:

After some non-sequitor events I can't remember I wake up in an apartment which I felt I had just arrived in. In the doorway stands a tall charming girl in red. She looks at me, makes a comment about my being there and then crawls on my bed and gives me a kiss. Then she makes a girlish pose, gets up and tells me she's going out and I should come.
On the streets we walk along and run into some of her friends. As she's interacting with her male friends I try to conceal my new found affection for her. More and more I drift away from presence in the scene as more men arrive. Soon I'm just a spectator watching a tall charming women in red entertain a mass of men.
I wake up.

>> No.14900576
File: 106 KB, 800x750, c61.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>This is a bounce the system has recognized in advance and will most likely recover from

>> No.14900591
File: 85 KB, 480x854, Screenshot_20200316-222341.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Ya 33% sure is a nice bounce, anon

>> No.14900619

I come up with good broad ideas but I suck at actually expanding them into any sizeable written piece.

>> No.14900644

Pick up a hobby that involves sensory details, like car maintenance or camping. The difference between intuitives and sensors is that sensors who are bad at intuition are boring, but intuitives that are bad at sensing starve to death

>> No.14900671

Weird how you called me out as that when that's what I always get on those stupid tests. I fish a lot but I'm not very good at it. I used to do MMA and surfing but I'm not sure if those qualify as sensory.

>> No.14900685

I really like your lil poem

>> No.14900698

Read Savage Detectives. Arguably a better book.

>> No.14900736

I'd definitely count those as extraverted sensing. As a note, I can only speak from the experience of Extraverted Intuition, Introverted Sending. (Se-Ni is its own beast).

I have the same problem, good with the graph but bad with data points. Extraverted Intuition wants to look at all the possibilities, but gets bored by the reality. Unfortunately reality is the whole basis that ideas lie on. Getting good at practical things, especially something as unforgiving as, say bike maintenance or computer repairs, you get a sense for how tricky it can be to morph things like metal and parts into your reality. One line of code can mean the difference between a broken computer and a functioning one; a car with the wrong coolant will eventually blow the radiator.

However, if you can get decent, or better yet good, at certain practical things then your intuitive mind gives you a distinct advantage over sensors who aren't creative enough to see the big picture, and other intuitives who have their heads in the clouds.

>> No.14900767

Part of what makes the shows Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul so good is that they lean on both. There are broader themes like human nature, the of power, etc. but it still talks about the specifics, like what chemical they dissolved the guy in season 1 that melted the bath tub. The knowledge or real things gives much, much more weight to the story and gives it much more believability and impact

>> No.14900768

based literal no conception of history bro

>> No.14900778

This is definitely related to your anima and your overall relationship with women. You see her as tall, above you. You feel that you are destined to be a follower and not an actor to her charms.

>> No.14900789

Yeah I always end up testing as ENTJ and I think wanting to look at possibilities without the reality definitely describes me. I've tried to teach myself coding but it's so fucking tedious and boring, I'd rather be Jobs than Wozniak.

This definitely carries into my writing, I love outlining a story or thinking on up but when I sit down and try to actually write it, it just seems like a fucking chore and I end up losing interest. I can't get more than a few hundred words into a scene in the story before I get bored and run out of things to say and I have end it and move on to a different part and then I end up with a bunch of several-hundred-word parts of a story with no real connections between them. Maybe I just haven't found my style but I can't imagine writing a book with tens of thousands of words all flowing together.

>> No.14900809

Ok, so the Introverted Intuition Extraverted sensing definitely applies to you. (I'm ENTP for reference). Since your ENTJ you lead with extraverted thinking, an intense need to categorize and define things even to the exclusion of others feelings (and blah blah blah natural leaders, visionaries, etc.). You're wired because youre an intuitive that still lives in the moment. You're whole personality is set up for conquering, which is very life affirming. I'd recommend continuing stuff like MMA, surfing, etc. and be consciously aware what it is to experience living in the moment. Read shit like Leningen Versus the Ants. Read the Wiki on Ghengis Khan (better yet Dan Carlin's the Wrath of the Khan's) or shit on Alexander the Great/Julius Caesar. Basically just go out and take this shit and make it yours.

>> No.14900812


>> No.14900833

As an ENTJ youre likely to be more about grand narratives. Think Napoleon conquering Europe. Maybe for writing you should start with the narrative, and then strategically work in the details to fill out your story.

>> No.14900863

Myers-Briggs is literally astrology for STEMtards. Don't get sucked into the bullshit.

>> No.14900885

If you don't enjoy writing your own story, is it reasonable to except it from the readers? Instead of writing so soullessly that it gets tedious, I'd advise developing a style that the prose itself becomes part of the aesthetic. Remember, you aren't writing a technical document; You're writing a work of art.

>> No.14900890

>said the ESTJ

>> No.14900939

I don't know what those are aside from the fact they're astrology bullshit because I'm not a retard.

>> No.14900942

I really wish I could have close companions like in anime or adventure stories. I want our lives to be linked with shared purpose. I’ve never had any friendship like that, and I suspect the whole concept is just a meme, but I want it nonetheless.

>> No.14900957

>retard: accepts MBTI religiously
>not retard: thinks MBTI is astrology for nerds
>big brain: researches the epistemological foundation of MBTI, finds out about Jung's functions, regards MBTI as a useful but fallible systematizer of top-tier psychological research
Enjoy being an arrogant midwit.

>> No.14900965

I generally agree. My construction does place women at a higher value because of the biological asymmetry in the ability to give birth. I see your interpretation as one that I can associate with my use of porn. My own interpretation although puts emphasis on 'avoiding showing affection' and how my relationships with women have been getting more 0distant because of the knowledge of their being admired by/talking to other men.

>> No.14900979

When I pray to God about my writing, I never pray for success. I pray for talent. I pray to God that I really will be as great a writer and a poet as I tell myself I am. I pray that God will grant me abilities that surpass everyone else alive. I have to be that great. I need to be that great. I ask for the talent to be that great. I'm willing to go to whatever lengths are necessary to have the talent to write like no one else.

>> No.14900987

And why is that? Why do you feel the need to surpass everyone else? And why do you expect God to grant this for you?

>> No.14901006

If I'm honest with myself, for no other reason than pure yearning. I want it. I crave it, and I can't justify it. I have an ego that can't be satisfied by anything less than perfection. I will not tolerate myself being anything less than divine, than perfect. I try to teach myself humility, accepting a lower place, being of a lower station. But my ego won't allow it. My preening sense of self-importance cannot be stopped, as much as I've tried.

So I've tried to tell myself that if I can't stop my arrogance, I can at least put it to good use. So I've sworn to write for the glory of God. Dante is my model here. The Divine Comedy is arguably the greatest work of Western letters, a masterpiece of beauty and learning and effort, and Dante did it all to glorify God. This is what I want to do as well, because I love God and I thank Him for everything He has already given me. All that He has given me, and everything He might give me after this, is freely given, not won by my own merits. These are gifts I did not earn. So, if they're given to me, then I know the only thing I can do is give them back to Him, and write a great work that glorifies God, a work so great and that centers so heavily upon God that the mere reading of it will drive souls into the arms of the Lord. I see this as my ministry, my vocation. It's a way to take my arrogance and yearning for greatness and put it to good use.

>> No.14901084

God is dead. Write for yourself.

>> No.14901151

Just got done a big poo. Before my bottom surgery I enjoyed taking some toilet paper in hand when the poo was halfway out and then buggering myself with it. Had a lot of fun doing that back in the day but now I find myself unable to orgasm. That's really what's behind most of my posts, bitterness, regret, and frustration.

>> No.14901390

but wasnt Jung all about consciousness and unconsciousness functions and not types?

>> No.14901668

Thanks all good advice

>> No.14901681
File: 550 KB, 775x1600, 1579269266857.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

If you call yourself a leftist but spare a single positive thought towards the CCP, you should unironically kill yourself. If you're so fucking low-IQ that you can't tell the difference between a fascist state run by an oligarchy and a free egalitarian society, you're exactly the sort of bootlicker the neoliberals rely on to prop up the system. Fuck you and fuck the cunt you came out of.

>> No.14901695

A warm pleasantry and mundane expression such as "enjoying life" irk me and I'm not sure why.

>> No.14901700

because you envy that

>> No.14901716

I had this brief belief that everything is possible like a few months ago, it gave me supreme confidence and happiness, and now I can't get myself to get back to it, my mind is churning with schizo thoughts and I feel like a piece of shit because I imagine myself in impossible scenarios and think that I'd be weak and helpless in them, and it feels awful. I am scared it's because I smoked weed for the first time, I wish I never did.

>> No.14901739

That sounds like bipolar. You must integrate your two parts (the manic and the depressive) again into a whole. You must take a very good look at yourself and find your faults and strengths (sieved into your manic self and depressive self) and learn why the two parts separated originally. Understand your manic part is as destructive as your depressive part, just in other ways. It's also unsustainable, which is why you collapsed in the first place. A good medication/diagnosis unless absolutely necessary. The pharma industry likes to see people as 'labels' and once you have the diagnosis 'manic-depressive' then they convince you that you are just that label.

>> No.14901747

A good should be *Avoid (fucking autocorrect)

>> No.14901796

Is neurosis really all about suppressing the unknown desire and paying the price?

>> No.14901839


>> No.14901951

is there a way to know what you're repressing?

>> No.14901984

You have to relive the trauma that you've experienced and categorize it in a way that makes you stronger because of it, and not despite it. Also look up the concept of shadow work by Jung

>> No.14902027

is it possible to do it without therapist?
>shadow work
i will

>> No.14902070

Site was down while I was reading this. I found it very amusing:



>> No.14902187

I've read the Stoics, the Greeks, Nietzsche, and Jung and his disciples, and nothing worked. I'm still a lazy, cowardly fuck. I don't even have the courage to kill myself, even though I have to at this point. I don't know what to do. I'm scared witless. Jesus fucking christ.

>> No.14902232

These are my sins catching up with me, my deficiencies finally piling up to the point where they can finally crush me. I have to kill myself, and I have to do it now. I'm too embarrassed to even admit why I have to do it in the next couple of days, but if I don't, my life is fucked. Fuck me. Fucking christ. I've also read Dostoyevsky's prison novel, and that too didn't help either. Nothing did. It's all a scam. Philosophy can't fix you.

>> No.14902245

>all reading
did you do anything noteworthy irl?

>> No.14902270

Does having a job count?

>> No.14902289

Thoughts and prayers

>> No.14902308


>> No.14902317

I mean, lit helps, but the fixing, healing, overcoming your life difficulties is your responsibility. That doesn't mean you have to go it alone, just that you do the work. It's a struggle and it sucks. No kind way to say it.

>> No.14902368

now that's what I call

>> No.14902381
File: 824 KB, 1367x2048, 1570033371844.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

The only thing that really matters is causing E-drama.

>> No.14902387

>It's all a scam. Philosophy can't fix you.
I wouldn't be sure about that. Goethe and Schopenhauer healed my soul. My life is thousand times better because of them.

>> No.14902402

>Goethe and Schopenhauer healed my soul
in what way?

>> No.14902420

There was a period of time where I was waking up everyday at 5-5:30 am. It ft really nourishing for my body and spirit to begin my day before the sun came up. Unfortunately I grew idle and over the past year have allowed myself to slip back into sleeping in later. Thanks for inspiring me to start waking up early again, anon.

>> No.14902436

How on earth did Schopenhauer heal your soul? The man openly says that if you were born with a deficient personality then nothing can fix you, that no conscious effort can ever erase one's innate weaknesses.

>> No.14902460

I would take a lot to explain, but I'll try to summarize. When I turned to them, I was in extreme desperation. I didn't know what the world is and how to live (and not to live) in it. Schopenhauer taught me the former and Goethe the latter. They really make a lot of things clear for you. I built my life on their teachings and I don't suppose it could have been better.

>> No.14902467

Well, isn't that true? I rather accept the truth in peace than to live in anxious denial.

>> No.14902515

I read them both but didnt leave long lasting impact. Maybe i was too dumb.

>> No.14902527

Well yes, that's the problem, that you can't fix yourself, no matter how hard you try. What's worse than anxious denial is self aware fatalism. I'm like that king in Shakespeare's play that Schopenhauer mentions. He swears military action every time he's called upon, yet fails to show up every single time. Even when his son is killed and he swears bloody vengeance, he still fails to show up. I'm just like that. I've had many chances, and threw them all away. Now I'm left with two options: either kill myself in the next couple of days, or let my life get irrevocably destroyed.

>> No.14902550

I would definitely recommend a therapist if possible. The problem with relying on friends/family for support is that they're too colored by your previous interactions and their own biases. A therapist would provide good outside perspective.

>> No.14902609

Maybe the difference is in how we read them. When I read someone whose genius and good conscious I trust, I try to let my guards down and open myself completely to their suggestions. In this way, a single book can be life changing if you aren't *merely* reading, but absorbing it all in.
I'm not sure what passage you're talking about, but I'm sure Schopenhauer would advise you to temper your passions. What you say doesn't seem like an irrevocable flaw. It must at least be possible to mitigate it.

>> No.14902630

I suffer from a whole host of irrevocable flaws anon, and my life is fucked,. My present is bleak and my future is lost. If I could have the courage to do just one thing, it should be to kill myself.

>> No.14902695

>I suffer from a whole host of irrevocable flaws anon
All of us do, but as Goethe says, the important thing is to cultivate ourselves.

>> No.14902709

Not really in a position to get one therefore i try to solve it myself. However i feel like trapped animal - the more i struggle, the more i damage myself.

>> No.14902716
File: 24 KB, 540x413, funeral parade of roses.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I haven't read anything in over a week. Just took a bunch of painkillers so I'm bound to pass out sooner rather than later so no reading tonight either

why do I do it lads?

>> No.14902726

fucked up my medical entrance exam for the second time (i think), feel like a complete fucking loser, had to wait a year to re-take it and it just fucking broke me
i like to think of myself as smart enough and worked hard for it, but on the day i fucked up hard

that was last month, ever since then life has become grey as fuck, i feel like i'm in limbo and can't move on to the next chapter (i was studying for 6months everyday for it) until i get my results, some closure.
i've seriously been considering suicide if i don't get in this time, i don't want to disappoint my parents who really expect me to get it this time, we've been going through tough times and this is gonna be a hard blow for sure
the worst feeling is that in between, not wanting to move on because you feel like you've fucked yourself up, i'm going to hold this against me forever and it's like i deserve not to be happy until my results come out and if i fail then i'll most likely kill myself
until then i'll probably do nothing, i've lost all my interest in things and my life has been brought to a halt, i had a lot of plans about what i was going to do after etc but now i've abandoned all of them, just totally stagnant, doing the bare minimum in order to subsist
i know it sounds dramatic, but it's the second time i'm taking it and this time it was really a do-or-die kind of thing, i devoted my entire life to it for the 6 months prior and then got all the hard work thrown back at my face on the day of the exam
i've turned into an angry, bitter man, i feel like i've been wrongly done by life

>> No.14902807

Do any of you guys have feelings like being a fraud? Like you’ll never live up to the likes of your favorite authors/philosophers let alone their philosophy despite the fact that there seems to be nothing else worth doing?

>> No.14902877

i'm not making it a picture, read it, that's a literature board

- morbidly dependent on YOOs. will go into chimp mode if daily YOO quota isnt fulfilled
- rewords his posts to reduce length, making sure fellow retards' attention span can handle it
- always coherent and simply-phrased posts
- keenly posts baits, responds with fatter baits to amplify YOO consumption

- knows no one will reply, writes it anyway as it feels cool to post online. doesnt need conversation
- deliberately makes his wording and sentence structure obscenely complex to filter the plebs
- incomprehensible, can't decipher his own posts from yesterday
- post does not invite for a discussion, attemp to communicate leads to a more nonsense unrelated reply

>> No.14902879

Do as you will, chosen one. The hand of fate is the hand of fate is the current of the river in whicn we will either drown or float. What course will take us to the riverbank? Indecision is an act, it is the act of inaction. Determinism is irrelevant. Do as you will, chosen one.
Merit derives from what? Merit is measured in what is done; merit is not seen in thoughts or in the wind through the air. There is merit in action. Only from actions performed by agents can merit be evaluated. The action of an animal cannot have merit. Therefore, the actions of the horde cannot have either merit or demerit; they have already been drowned in the river of fate. The water fills their lungs and pools in their throat, but they cannot taste it because they do not believe it exists.

>> No.14902880

You should place value in the act itself. The result can be whatever it will, but the important thing is you are doing the only thing worth doing. This attitude ironically tends to produce the best results.

>> No.14902894

I don’t feel like I’m doing the only thing worth doing is the thing though. I want to do the only thing worth doing but I’m not. I’m just kind of running out the clock in a wage cuck job making art and writing as a hobby doing nothing particularly radical or all in at all.

>> No.14902927

That's a problem every artist living in a capitalist society has to somehow deal with.

>> No.14903027

Right but what I’m observing is that every “artist” who ever produced anything of value started achieving it to some degree right off the bat. I’m 26 and the only thing I’ve ever done is get a business degree and work in an office.

>> No.14903031

What does love actually feel like? I can't find a good description that doesn't result to "ever had a pet you cared about? it's that feeling".

>> No.14903043

If she's a streamer I swear to goodness

>> No.14903086

I never been in love.
t. 27

>> No.14903092

Don't fucking reply to me then.

>> No.14903146

>Coronavirus is a spook. The world is too stable for anything big to happen.
as an actual epidemic, yes

as a social consequence to mass hysteria, absolutely not

>> No.14903157

I'm lucky, I live with my family and close to my best friends. it would definitely be super rough to spend a month alone...

is there anyone out there who's actually all alone during the quarantine? I recommend joining discord servers or other places to socialize online. godspeed anons!

>> No.14903169

If I ever saw your weak scrawny ass in the street I'd knock your ass out then piss on your corpse. your internet tough guy shtick is hilarious but it's obvious you're a little bitch irl. only spergs use words like

and brag about using weapons other than their hands. fuck off

>> No.14903290

pretty good

have a (you) bitch

>> No.14903424

Bukowski worked at a post office all his life, it's really more common than you'd think

>> No.14903467

goddamn this board is dead. it's depressing

>> No.14903504

hurr durr


>> No.14903510

Dont tell me what to do.

>> No.14903551

how about I beat your ass instead punk

>> No.14903597

that only thing you could beat is my dick, faggot

>> No.14903616

nah I'm pretty sure I could knock your twink ass out

>> No.14903651

Honestly, it feels like a drug. It makes you excited, anxious, happy, worried, insecure, blissful. It's not just one thing, it's a fucking mess. It makes you more impulsive, like if nothing mattered anymore besides your love and your loved one, but more directly: it makes you feel alive. And that's what loves for: not to make you happy, but to make you alive. A man in love, while a sick one, it's also a man who stills has a heart, who still it's capable of feeling something, who still alive.

>> No.14903669

right now, the public obsession and center of attention all surrounds coronavirus and every single big and small update pertaining to it, everything else has taken a back seat

>> No.14904044

sounds terrible, I came to a conclusion after a girl gave me a sign with her ass that she's down to fuck,

do you want to know why girls don't like whores? it's because you can go sleep with her, wake up tomorrow and not a single thing changes

>> No.14904147

I blame everyone for my own shortcomings because i cant blame actual myself which is invisible to me. Sorry for drunk posting.

>> No.14904512

>Be me
> live in a shithole on the south brazil with like 50k population
>500km away from any big city
>"oh boy i'm sure save from the corona virus here!"
>this morning I turn on the radio and hear that there's four suspect cases in the city
>a couple who had all the symptons escaped from the hospital and was not found by the police

>> No.14904544

Like I said, it makes you feel alive and that's the best part of it, but it can be a pain in the ass, specially ifs not corresponded or after a breakup where you still have feelings for the person. As for your conclusion, youre kinda right, by fucking a whore you excludind any romantic feeling that the sexual experience can have and just using the girls as a way to feel pleasure and you are also denying any attachment.

>> No.14904577
File: 60 KB, 612x472, 1509488090093.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

for a few months in 2018 I was up at 5. never got more writing done than I did during that time. not sure what my fucking problem is and why I ceaselessly self sabotage my own life...I think it's time for me to get back to it.

>> No.14904605

I'm screencapping this post and placing it in my personal archive of "anon's wisdom that cannot be lost to 404."

>> No.14904646


>> No.14904673

Hey niggers, get off of /lit/

>> No.14904906

Go but remain reserved and don’t drink too much

>> No.14904913

That’s pretty normal. It’s at least somewhat admirable that you’re able to recognize and admit it since many aren’t and won’t.

>> No.14905209

I really wish cross dressing wasn’t associated with weird sexual shit. I have no desire to be a transsexual, nor do I find the idea of myself as a woman arousing. I just want to wear cute clothes damn it

>> No.14905513

I’ve unwittingly gone unironic 3DPD. Most women aren’t actually cute at all and have obnoxious personalities. The 2D way is the comfy way.

>> No.14905781

the only silver lining to coronavirus is that it gave me a new appreciation for life. It is a reminder of how quickly everything can be taken from us. When the dust settles I will never take for granted the ability to go to a restaurant or movie theater again.

Gotta have bad times to have good times.

>> No.14906563

I want to put my emotions in a creative way not a destrutive one.

>> No.14906797

Personally I enjoy how everyone is socially crippled. I hate consumerist and adventure culture and I’m glad that people have to suck it up and stay at home. Maybe they will learn from this experience.

>> No.14906876

it means you dont know love.

>> No.14907491

My father got laid off his job, so I can't continue visiting the therapist that I've been with for 8 years.

>> No.14907520

>8 years
whats your diagnosis?

>> No.14907530

my partner doesn't understand how much I sacrifice for our relationship to last and thinks I don't do enough. I'm sacrificing my values, my time, my hobbies, my money, my freedom, cutting ties with my family, cutting off friends, changing myself to the core, but apperantly that's not enough. I'm a fool for staying in such a relationship, but I can't leave because he threatens to commit suicide if I do. it's just another cruel joke the universe is playing on me, torturing me with the thing I craved most, putting me in a position I used to ridicule and crushing the dreams I couldn't even hope for.

>> No.14907585

I have no mental illness or behavioral condition currently. I originally began meeting her 8 years ago for depression and anger management. In my life right now, she's substituting heavily for me as parental guidance. I just spent the last 10 minutes on and off crying about this, hopefully that will stop now, and I think writing about it here is helpful.

>> No.14907602

>threatens to commit suicide if I do
Let him. It's your life or his. Right now he's killing you.

>> No.14907615

This happened to me and I never talked to her, I was next to her in class and every day waiting for a shuttle to takes us to and fro both campuses. I never said a word to her. I then wrote a love letter and was prepared to put it in her backpack on the last day of class, but didn’t. The only thing I ever did was create a fake Instagram long after graduation, and dm her poetry. She blocked me immediately. I’ve had girlfriends since then, but there’s nothing like false youthful sentiments of love anon. Don’t listen to those who call you a simp, keep it burning until you realize it’s all bullshit and you’re better off without all of them.

>> No.14907782

Why didnt she cure you of it in 8 years?

>> No.14908376

I'm worried that here in the UK the virus outbreak is going to be the biggest nail in the coffin of working-class arts & culture yet, after 10 years of austerity. Most community-run and independent projects- small music venues, literary festivals, theatres, indie cinemas- simply can't afford the debt of the loans the government have produced as their only answer to small businesses. We need compensation to survive, not more loans and debt. We're already facing a lost generation of working-class screenwriters and directors. This can easily plunge us into a century of neo-feudal spiritual starvation as people throw aside the arts as an unnecessary luxury compared to working 40+ hrs a week as a Deliveroo cyclist, going home, fall asleep to Disney+, wake and repeat.

>> No.14908382

Oh, and I really don't know if I can bear living in a world where that turns out to be the case. Not for another 40-60 years.

>> No.14908401

sounds like a nightmare of a relationship. you're responsible for yourself and your own wellbeing before that of others. get out of there

>> No.14908789

So let him kill himself. What are you a fucking retard

>> No.14908812

>working class screenwriters and directors
Yea dude they're the people to worry about. Lmao.

>> No.14908876

So let him kill himself. What are you a fucking retard [2]

>> No.14908912

I'm not saying it's the only thing to be worried about, I just think it sucks how many people seem not to care at all

>> No.14908998


>> No.14909014

This has already happened but yes I agree that this is going to make it worse.
It's going to make atomisation worse as well, what with everyone literally being told to be autistic NEETs. Pornhub, Netflix, Amazon, HBO, all the social media sites etc are all going to do very well for themselves at the expense of people being socially healthy.

>> No.14909033
File: 133 KB, 952x735, BerserkQuote.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Send him this then ghost him.

>> No.14909126

The Gift of the Magi is just a cheesy little story about the spiritual/aesthetic remainder brought about when two people are ready to let their egos "die" for one another.

>> No.14909260

imagine being an american, in my country a root canal is like 12 dollars :D

>> No.14909298

its optics my friend, they never saw themselves as such it is you that sees them, go forward and only time will tell if you are to stand amongst them

>> No.14909350

get out.

>> No.14910444

A friend of mine has the most annoying habit. He's an idiot who only consumes video games and comic books, but a couple of months ago he decided to "get into politics." Now he is always going around talking about events as though he is an expert, but I know that all he does is repeat verbatim the dumb shit he reads on twitter.

If he wants to be more engaged in politics sure, but it's the way he assumes he knows everything about the world and what's going to happen that pisses me the fuck off.

>> No.14910472

>We’d still call that a ranch in the US

What do you mean, ‘we’ gomer?
It’s a fucking stable you ignorant hick retard.

>> No.14910484
File: 1.40 MB, 1920x1080, 551628.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Ever since my grandfather died I've comforted myself knowing he no longer has to suffer living in a miserable world with his miserable, drug addict pedophile son. I know it sounds edgy but I feel like dying isn't so bad once you consider the person who dies no longer has to deal with all the shit of life. Obviously it's horrible and sad when people die, but that's how I feel.

I'd rather jump off a bridge than survive civilization collapsing. If a nuke ever falls on America I hope my death is quick and painless.

Working at home has been enjoyable as I've gotten a lot my novel done but I'd really like to get back to work since that means everything has gone back to normal. I stocked up somewhat but I desperately, desperately hope I don't run out of food.

In good news, I only have 4.8k left to pay on my student loan.

>> No.14910487

my college accidentally gave me $2.5k too much in financial aid, and I get to keep it.
it is because of a number error that I now have the most money I've ever had. Money is fake, just let us live

>> No.14910530

oh fuck I’ve been owned

>> No.14910756

It’s just so tiring. I want to move to the country and live away from society. Any enjoyable social interaction I have is online anyway.

>> No.14910800

reddit is that way

>> No.14910981

It is the start of a recession. Could be bad, could be fine. I'm not fear mongering or anything I just know what I'm talking about.

>> No.14910989

>falling for the college meme

>> No.14911029


dig this up, read it to get the basis of different aesthetic theories straight from some bois with big brains. if you find something you like explore it deeper

>> No.14911059

It's 6AM here and I just finished a short story I had in mind for over two weeks. And it truly sucks. I've always shared my works with my friends but this one is just bad. I feel ashamed of it. I sent it via messenger and quickly deleted it after a few minutes before anyone could see. Never felt this sad about my writing skills. I wish I could go back to primary school to write about cemeteries, vampires and the devil and not worry about the quality or depth. Just pure fun. I used to be so proud of myself and now everything I do just seems pathetic. I do what I "love" - i feel shitty, I try something else - also shit. I dwell on the past and worry about future - waste of time; I try to have a busy healthy lifestyle - I break down after a few days and start the vicious cycle again. It's exhausting and pointless. I don't like what I write, I get bored of reading, watching movies, drawing, literally what's the point if none of that makes me happy like it used to? Am I supposed to just suck it up and hate everything about everything for the rest of my life bc I'm too scared to die? I feel dead inside already, why is it so tiring and disappointing to be anything at all? I tried everything. I hate everything. I sound like a pathetic whiny pussy and frankly I am one. I use this auto-criticism as a shield but the only thing I'm guarding is my fragile ego. Fuck that. God, I'm such a narcissist. I hope I get coronavirus and die already :)

>> No.14911061

I added a girl on Snapchat and asked here out (would’ve done it irl but class canceled due to virus). She seemed mildly interested but couldn’t do it over the weekend because she was busy (she was confirmed to be busy) and said maybe later. Bros I doubt that later is coming, she’s shy and won’t initiate and may not even like me. Do I ask again? I kinda feel like a creep
I’m fairly attractive and khv btw

>> No.14911080

Show them anons post at >>14889407
that should convince them that you're not just bullshitting.

>> No.14911087

That was a twist

To improve your writing you have to write lots of shit. Starting off you don’t know what you’re doing and learn by making mistakes. Send the story to your friends and preface it by saying why you think it sucks. Being cringe is part of the process of getting better. In a way the more shitty you write the better because you have more opportunity to learn.
The rest of your post sounds like depression. I can only give my own experience as to what helped, which was being busy. I got a job as a dishwasher and went to school and even though the job was drone my mood overall was happier. For me wage cucking wasn’t so bad because I can’t self motivate when I have large amounts of free time.

>> No.14911440

you sound like a huge pussy and you probably have no talent or confidence.


>> No.14911474 [DELETED] 
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>> No.14911499
File: 32 KB, 540x360, 91f24c08-ab63-47fd-b7a8-57fd40996ac6.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I don't know what to do with my life. I don't know what to believe in. I'm lonely and only have a couple of friends. I feel empty and hollow. I'm studying stem in a foreign country but it all feels worthless. I'm an alien in these lands and am treated as such. I failed so many of my classes that I'll have to take some extra semesters.

I don't know what to do

>> No.14911536

finish your studies

>> No.14911544

Communicate with your friends, what are they doing in life?
What drew you to study abroad?

>> No.14911582

>9/11 was the most magnificent event of the last 200 years.

Ummm no mister Burger
Ever heard about World Wars? The Cold War?

>> No.14911588

Finish your studies.
I'm in the same boat as you, see a shrink. It helped, I'm not suicidal anymore.
With the Corona situation idk if I will finish my thesis on time though, but I got an extra year anyway coz I failed an exam. Get a job when this blows over.

>> No.14911635

Even if I do finish, then what? I don't want to work in this soulless field. I'm not even any good at it.

My few friends are either working or are in academia doing stem research. They just seem to be drifting by but at the very least, give off the impression of satisfaction. Albeit, they are either psueds who are desperately trying to cope with everything or are normies who are simply unaware.

I'm from a developing country. At the time, my parents were going through a very rough patch financially so I didn't have any options to go to university. Luckily, I was able to get a full ride scholarship, so here I am.

>> No.14911691
File: 163 KB, 750x1000, plat.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>insane depression sets in
>have coffee in hopes of triggering artificial manic state out of desperation
>now manically depressed and hating everything at a million miles per hour



>> No.14911771

Im right there with you, only its whisky and coke

>> No.14911952
File: 40 KB, 368x409, 575FE95A-608A-4782-835A-72A02D250A7A.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Is this truly the ultimate cuck?

>> No.14912089

Okay, I am quite literally in the same boat as you. I'm studying something I don't really care about and I also got a scholarship for it, so it was my ticket out of bumfuckland.
Start by seeing a shrink. Obviously that's not possible right now, but yeah for me the meds helped more than anything. As for a lack of meaning, I didn't have it back when I was high school or middle school.
Start dreaming again my friend, and your dream doesn't necessarily have to coincide with your career. My dream is to be influential in my local community, and I do that by volunteering for multiple local groups and I exchange art and texts with the friends I make from these groups.
As for the job, I don't have one - and I know I have to get one because shit costs money. So as shallow as it is, just focus on acquiring a skillset that would feed and house you, as dull as it may be.
Once you have your shit together, you'll be at level or even be better than most people you know. Ambition and financial security is attractive to girls too, I presume that you're a guy - so it would take care of love or romance too, whatever you fancy.
Good luck anon.

>> No.14912098

is longbottom leaf supposed to be weed or tobacco?

>> No.14912841

Thank you for the advice. It really means a lot. I wish you luck in your pursuits.

I used to go to a therapist and psychiatrist here at my uni but it just frustrated me as I felt like I was wasting my time. They prescribed me meds too but I didn't feel much different. Only at first I guess. Maybe I should try it all again. Perhaps I rejected it due to frustration with myself.

That skillset would be something within stem then? (CS in my case) What is frustrating as well is that it's becoming more and more the case that one either has to suck stems teat or be very lucky/have connections to have a secure and comfortable life these days.

>> No.14913191

Recommend things to be passionate about

>> No.14913606


>> No.14913728


>> No.14913739


>> No.14913746

Tobacco. Nibbas didn't smoke weed before cheech and chong

>> No.14913774

it's also quieter to be up all night

>> No.14913794

I don't understand how pot is given the designation of a gateway drug when alcohol is far and away the definitive exemplar. Alcoholic disinhibition is the gateway to everything, almost by definition. Alcohol is so closely wedded to the culture that even the educational system acts somewhat defensively to it, it is the precious child of all the drugs, and despite its tantrums, it is given all the leeway in the world and the most tacit sanction.

(As a completely irrelevant aside, the word "sanction" is a semantic oddity, meaning both both denial and approval at the same time depending on context.)

>> No.14913910

Vaping tobacco product is a pale imitation of the real deal. Nothing beats the meaty, lungfilling draw of a cigarette puff fully loaded with becalming carcinogenic particulates. Just as my grandma always said in favor of butter over margarine or sugar over artificial sweeteners, if you're going to do it do it the right way. Don't delude yourself with the illusion of a healthier alternative. In this case it isn't even remotely true for vaping.

>> No.14913963

nice nostalgia faggot. I bet you're a 20yo who dresses like he's a 60yo librarian

>> No.14913966

not sure that's true nigga. but how is tobacco a cuck? just do what you want lmao

>> No.14914021

And I bet you're a cretinous fraud.

>> No.14914035

nope, nice vocabulary you verbose faggot

in what regard am I being fraudulent?

>> No.14914223
File: 81 KB, 1080x720, D986CA92-DD90-4282-A382-765CF1449D00.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Are women aware that their entire body is sex?

Like, every part of a woman's body can turn a man on, you could fuck anything on her, arms, legs, armpits, they are hyper sexual idols. I wonder what that feels like.

>> No.14914244
File: 833 KB, 1024x768, CoffeeCup.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Coffee always puts me in a good mood. Feels like it actually calms me down. Definitely gives me a positive outlook.

>> No.14914252


>> No.14914281
File: 39 KB, 400x400, 1583126805019.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

It's probably not nice for them, if they're even aware of it, but I enjoy it. I mean, take your pic for example: they put on the sex uniform because they think it's a highlight of their "inherently sexual" parts, but I doubt they realize that I want to lick every inch of their legs from top to bottom, that I want to rub their calves with no regard for their own pleasure but for the gratification of my own sense of touch and sight, that I want them to have manicured nails so their hands look prettier when they're grabbing my cock, and that I could jerk off to them merely bending over to tie their shoe. I've told girls why they're idiots for eating bananas in public and they seemingly refuse to believe it. Whether they actual deny the reality or they're just attempting to maintain demure appearance, I don't know, but I assure them we're starting when they do because we want to know what they look like with our cock in their mouth.

>> No.14914289
File: 67 KB, 608x586, 1575752169523.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

How tf am I supposed to get a job in this climate
coffee is all placebo. spend months tricking yourself into thinking it wakes you up and soothes you, then try again.
you aren't gonna run out of food because food won't stop coming in
your friend is consuming "politics" in the same way he consumes video games and comics

>> No.14914354
File: 283 KB, 900x600, y891a.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

"Know the world." That's what they told him always. To go out there, and see it for himself. The sunsets and sunrises over distant lands, the people, the tastes and the smells. The beauty of the world, the paradises at the end of the world.

He took it to heart and was in one now. His steps beat out a regular, unrelenting rhythm as he walked calmly and slowly on the concrete path, just centimetres from the edge, beyond which was only clear blue water and fine yellow sand.

He stopped for a moment and gazed southward. Towards the horizon that separated the water under the vault from the water above it. The blue yonder, where the sky met the sea. The clear, endless ocean where an eye met no eye.

He turned his head back to the land and continued on his stroll across the walkway. Eventually the sharp coastline ended and the walkway veered off to the left, exposing a sandy beach on his right hand. The beat of his steps didn't stop for a moment.

The people walked from in front. He did not speak their language and did not understand the signs written on the buildings. The people laughed around him, paying no attention to the lost, foreign wanderer invading their peaceful island. There were many more like him - perhaps they have already got used to it.

It was here, in this solitude among people where he found his calling. Where the boy met the world and became a man. Became a man to serve the world. It was his home, all of it, and the people around were his family, even though distant and never understood.

They told him the meaning was to know the world. He shrugged it off.

The meaning was to know the world for what it is.

>> No.14914373

You're saying you love someone you only know a few things about her. That's fine, but to be honest that sounds to me as if you aren't in love with "her". You are in love with a fantasy of her, an ideal. I'm not saying that in a negative way, you can't be faulted for fantasizing. But you should acknowledge that it is currently fantasy, and even though it might fit reality it might also be different. So, be prepared for the option of that, lest your dissonance harms you.

>> No.14914380

I wish I weren't attracted to women in this way. I literally want to worship them.

Whenever I think of women, it's like my brain or maybe my soul is straining painfully to find a form of worship that expresses all the desire I feel for them, but nothing ever lives up to the desire. I also have the thing where I want to lick every inch of their legs and stuff my face in their ass, but it's not even because those activities are commensurate with the desire, they're just the closest thing I can imagine while desperately trying to dispense the urge.

The really sad thing is that I completely understand the whole simp thing where dudes buy Belle Delphine's bathwater. I don't understand actually buying it, but I do understand the basic unconscious connection their mind is making of "Belle Delphine touched this water, therefore it's special water." There's some caveman part of my deep psyche that could at least consider "if I drank their bathwater, would that finally be enough?? Would the urge finally go away???" Ultimately the reason I don't buy/drink bathwater is because I know it wouldn't do any good, and the harm/grossness/silliness would outweigh the minimal (if any) payoff in consummation of the desire, but like I said, there is some deep part of my psyche that at least considers the possibility.

I really don't like it. I stopped enjoying sexual release a long time ago. I don't enjoy jerking off, I hate porn. But I still want to bite women's asses and lick their legs. When I think of a woman sitting down in a chair and all her ass and thigh fat readjusting and squishing around, some part of my soul groans "let's go back to primeval matriarchy, I don't even care anymore, nothing I could ever create could possibly compare to ass and thigh fat sitdown in chair squishing." It never goes away, it never decreases in intensity. Acquiring it doesn't make it go away, sexually climaxing to it doesn't make it go away.

None of this adds any joy to my life. The vast majority of the time I'm looking at asses and thighs and tits I can't have, and even in the rare moments when I can actually have one of the things I want, I want more of it than is within the capacity of any sexual act to provide. It's the ultimate Schopenhauerian Chinese finger trap, it's a fucking bottomless pit. The only solution to desire for women is complete abstinence but that is complete hell, it's a fucking nightmare. If I nofap for two weeks my brain starts assaulting me with involuntary virtual reality projections of what it would be like to lick and squish my face into every nice buttcheek I see. I've tried meditating on how it's all nonsense, how I'm projecting my desires onto women and what I see in women is not actually innate to them. I've tried deconstructing my desires in conversations with women and even during sex. I've even tried seeing them as hairless apes. Doesn't help. Still want to stick my face in a girl's ass more than is physically possible.

>> No.14914423

That seems like a really sad story :(
Also your mother sounds like a bitch who is priming you up to be her cash dispenser.

>> No.14914468

People are perfectly within their rights to jerk off to porn and look down on "sex workers." Sexual desire and aggression naturally go together, and it is only in mutually beneficial, stable monogamy that one should expect that they won't.

>> No.14914476

How about this: not only do I feel exactly as you do, but when it comes down to the moment of truth, I am actually too self-conscious about it to act on the desire because I feel like I'll be making them uncomfortable in my worship of their legs or their tits or their ass. I have the opportunity but I can't even seize it and that in itself leaves me another, heightened degree of unfulfilled ultimately. I've been with my girl for 9 years and I fuck her so vanilla-ly that I don't even want to fuck, even though I do want to fuck, I just want to do kinda weird borderline-almost-non-sexual shit (to her, not to me) to my own satisfaction. I wish I could be an NPC when it comes to sexual relations, that I could just do whatever unorthodox thing to my girl without regard for what she thinks about it.

>> No.14914490

Just because non-existence is incomprehensible to us, does not excuse mindless slaughter.
Besides, you're nothing but a larping fool if you subscribe to the notion that even 90% of The Taliban truly understand what you've written down there, buddy.
This is actually written like some sick attempt at justifying slaughter, "Life cannot slay. Life is not slain!", but the one who slays is not "life" it is "you", this passage is an attempt to alienate ones self from his actions, in order to cognitively evade the repercussions from it. You are responsible, Someone that acknowledges that he has ended the existence of another and enjoys it, is more genuine than a fanatic that slays without accepting the result of his actions.

>> No.14914502

Stagnation is sin.

>> No.14914508

Ask your girl if you can spice things up? I'm sure there's something she wants to do as well.>>14914380 unironically talk to a therapist. A male one. There's something unfulfilled in your life to create this urge.

>> No.14914511

for how long?

>> No.14914533

Yeah I have told her before but as I said, when it comes down to the moment I myself can't make it happen. I'm just too big of a sperg concerned with if she might be thinking what I was doing was strange. In fact, I amend my previous idea: I don't want to turn my brain off, I want to turn her brain off. I just want her to act like a sex doll. But I can't. She's sovereign, she has agency, she has thoughts, and I can't read her mind so I get uncomfortable with myself and just try to act "normal". Strange thing is though when we first met I was more in-tune with "using" her. Then we were together for awhile and now I feel guilty about it for some reason

>> No.14914544
File: 156 KB, 1021x575, 8F2DBA07-829C-48F8-BCFD-2616EF65735F.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>I don't want to turn my brain off, I want to turn her brain off. I just want her to act like a sex doll. But I can't. She's sovereign, she has agency, she has thoughts, and I can't read her mind so I get uncomfortable with myself and just try to act "normal".
fuck dude, I imagine this is how I would feel if I actually had a woman in my life. Is this why I'm an incel?

>> No.14914563

Well I can tell you it's why I don't know how to talk to strange women, which, harsh as it is to say, part of the reason I've been with her for so long

>> No.14914576

Yeah, kinkier stuff gets animalistic and turns the partners into just part of the sex. You should try baby steps.
Maybe your girl will even like it. A good first step is tying up the eyes or tying arms behind back to start on power Dynamics.
And then you can go back to vanilla if it doesn't work. Your girl isn't that fragile.

>> No.14914804

Early 20s. Been deeply interested in two girls over my lifetime. Both have been unrequited. It kind of stings anons.

>> No.14915017

Another wet dream for me the day before yesterday. Will I ever grow up?
Today, thank god, I dreamed about casual sex with a woman, but sometimes my wet dreams are actually about watching porn. I think there's no return for me in how I damaged myself through cooming to detached visual stimuli.

early 20s too, I'm just a fucking beta though, that's why I've never had an actual relationship. I've also doubted my orientation for years. IN MY FUCKING TWENTIES, DUDE. People have this stuff figured at that age.
(sorry for replying with talking about myself instead of saying something more relevant for you)

>> No.14915038

I keep flip flopping between wanting to live forever and being so bored with life that I want to cease existing.

>> No.14915052

Being in quarantine, alone, has had me thinking about Thomas Mann's The Magic Mountain. It's a strange sort of vacuum, the way each day I sit in my cramped apartment stretches into infinity and endless boredom. I'm working from home, which makes the day feel longer than even the normal office day feels. Then, at 5, I close my laptop, sit on my couch, 6 feet from where I worked all day, try to relax, and stare at the floor. The monotony stretches the hour into years, and I can't think of anything that's all too different from life 6 months, a year, two years ago.

And then I think - that this is what my life is. The boredom I feel is that same force which propelled me through my teens, and now, midway through my 20s. The days feel the same and the years slip by, the hours last forever and the months pay no mind. Am I really in quarantine? Or is this just what life is?

>> No.14915140

>sorry for replying with talking about myself
That's ok anon, mention of these things make us reflect on ourselves.

>> No.14915187
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I really have to stop making girl catfish accs on Tinder...

>> No.14915191
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Reading JAHB nigga. It's all the reiterating of the theme of being stuck in a timeless quarantine, but with the modification of adapting yourself to make the most of the situation so that you emerge on the other side richer than you were when you went into it (Jacob serving Laban for 20+ years, Joseph serving Potiphar, and then the Pharaoh for 20+ years).

>> No.14915211

Trying to learn how chad talks to sluts, eh?

>> No.14915374

What are your findings?

>> No.14915394

This except I've never had the wanting to live forever part

>> No.14915411

Not that anon but thanks for the rec all the same buddy! It's super fantastic.

>> No.14915420
File: 122 KB, 1080x1080, 1583440195477.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Found out that guys fall for really obvious profiles that I made with Cosplay girls. And that they start sexting REALLY fast.

>> No.14915443

Well yeah that's how they get pussy basically. They treat them like an object rather than trying to be their friend first. Nowadays
>so my place or yours?
is basically like saying hello. I mean, you're only looking at people you've matched with, so what point is there to beating around the bush? That being said, the whole concept still makes me uncomfortable. It just seems TOO forward.

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