Write What's On Your Mind

[Anonymous No.15156379]

[Anonymous No.15156410]

The running saves no one. With every step taken the feet ache more, the mind thumps like
waves on a shore, your breath escapes you soon to be gone completely if you don't stop.
Running only kills you. Run from it run from that run from her run run run don't ever look
back but you will die. Dead will be you. Running to death is a worse fate than burning
to death. it’s what hell is like running in the middle of inferno. familiar is it not?

[Anonymous No.15156823]

>>15156379
Sancho Panza (quien por otra parte nunca se jactó de ello) consiguió, mediante la lectura de novelas de caballerías, deshacerse de sus mas íntimos demonios. Estos tomaron la forma de caballero andante y se dedicaron a vagar por el mundo.

Sancho, al sentir por tal caballero una vaga responsabilidad, no tuvo a más que seguir a Don Quijote en sus aventuras, lo cuál le proveyó de esparcimiento y distracción hasta el fin de sus días.

[Anonymous No.15156836]

I cannot start living without meaning but i wont find meaning without living and new life experiences.

[Anonymous No.15157000]

>>15156379
At the center of the maze, a foolish man believes he's at home
but no further could he be from truth.
He seeks the treasure which cannot be found
for it lies beyond the walls in which hes confound.
His spirit longs for more but his mind binds him in chains.
He believes to be his carriage but the self can only walk back home.
He settles for mere shadows but a wise man tastes infinity
and accepts no less.
He sees himself and something out there as if it were two
but in truth he sees neither.
Foolish is such ignorance
for he who sees two will go from death to death.

[Anonymous No.15157075]

I feel lonely

[Anonymous No.15157093]

Though I'm yet to read it, Tolstoy's "The Kingdom Of God Is Within You" has me intrigued.
The title, though all I've read, strikes me as a deep truth.
In my life experience, there has been no salvation which can come from heteronomy.
The words of another cannot save me, nor could a psychedelic substance grant me some deep wisdom. In the end these are merely sounds and drugs.
The real power which will save someone from whatever they fear is already within themselves, though usually a latent potential.
Honest happiness and acceptance towards one's situation cannot simply be decided in an instant, there is no "I'm happy now" command one can give themselves lest they be engaged in many levels of self-deception as I once was.
In truth, happiness is something which needs to be cultivated, and it may take time, but the fruits your work will bear are worth the effort.
Prune away the weeds of negative emotions when you see them pop up, you cannot choose to not feel them but you can choose to not enable them and try to prevent them from growing and taking over your heart and soul.
>>15156836
You started living long ago, you can and will find your meaning in time.
I struggle as well, I once could live without meaning and get by no problem. Nothing worried me and I could do whatever I felt like without feeling shame or regret. In time that changed, I want meaning and I want to be honest and just now. There may not be any definitive answer to what the meaning of life is, but for now mine has become to live a better life.

[Anonymous No.15157101]

>>15157075
Karina's sister was staring at my butt and the coworker told her to stop staring but I liked it. I wish she was still there. I miss her.

[Anonymous No.15157150]

>>15156379
En un lugar de La Mancha, de cuyo nombre no quiero acordarme...

[Anonymous No.15157354]

>>15157150
... No ha mucho tiempo que vivía un Hidalgo de los de lanza en astillero, adarga antigua, rocín flaco y galgo corredor.

[Anonymous No.15157398]

The answers I received in the other thread about studying art overseas made me think a lot.

I think the best idea would be exhaust online courses and try to see how far I get.

Regarding exposition and becoming noticed by someone, I could just go to workshops or free classes, participate in contests, instead of paying a heinous amount of money ateliers are asking.

Thank you anons. I'm still very shaky about this though.

[Anonymous No.15157420]

>>15156823
whatever happened to sancho panza?

[Anonymous No.15157427]

I miss Karina's sister. Can you guys make her come back?

[Anonymous No.15157436]

>>15157093
I dont want to sound too whiny but i've struggled with existential depression (and depression) in general for +10 years. I couldnt find any answers in books or activities.

[Anonymous No.15157471]

>>15153387
I definitely have fond memories of my past relationships, I don't think they were bad at all. When I think of the intense love I felt, the universe certainly makes more sense. Hell, I went on a date with this musician I've admired for years recently and I felt unrivaled ecstasy for the entire week we were spending in the same cities. But I don't know. When I think of being with someone, a rando that I haven't yet met, there's no feeling involved, it's just a big time investment. When am I ever gonna learn a new language, finish my studies, read, write a book, when I'm forced to meet this person, plus other friends, several times a week? I've grown content with growing old alone, I realised I've always imagined taking my own autarkic steps. Still, I somehow find the idea romantic of roaming the streets and running into an ex that I shared such a strong bond with. Which despite having had relationships in the past is unlikely to happen, as my one gf rarely left the house and the other died years ago.

[Anonymous No.15157526]

I want to leave image boards. I have been on image boards since 2009 so I will stay a newfag forever. Still I think I have seen and witnessed everything image boards have to offer, the positive and the negative, and whatever 4chan(nel) was before my time I will never have the chance to experience anyhow. At this point it's all pointless repetition of the same old topics, personas and arguments for me, none of the new memes connect with me. It's not worth it to search for the very few pearls out there, single posts or epic breads with some merit to them.
In the beginning I mostly lurked like newfags should do. Right after getting here for the first time it seemed like a blessed place were people just have fun and where you are welcomed as a person who is sorted out from the linear life of a regular person. It felt like a safe space where people like us are welcomed and just have a good time together. Great memories.
Times have changed and I don't know if it's mainly the culture of image boards as a whole which has changed or if it is myself. There are many points to be made that 4chan culture has declined over time for example since the trump election and the smartphone/ social media explosion, but it also seems to be that I have changed as a person who cannot use this place as a home anymore. I do not feel welcome here anymore regardless if I post or lurk. It's all so hostile and I am not sure if this is my perception or if this is an actual tendency nonetheless for me it's true.
I cannot blame this on image boards alone but ever since my attention span has drastically decreased, anhedonia has set in and all the hostility, the aggressive tone, the reductionism of most posts and the shitposting has left me jaded. Whatever used to be interesting - the attitude, the anonymous, genuine communication free of social norms, the memes - is nothing but pointless repetition now. I don't know if you can become too old for this but maybe if you truly want to move on with life you have to leave this behind you altogether. Maybe come back once your life truly has changed but other than that I don't see the appeal. It was fun times, but all fun times have to end. Took me already too long to realize that this is only holding me down.

[Anonymous No.15157536]

>>15157526
You have matured

[Anonymous No.15157997]

Uni has started up for me again and this dread, this feeling of lost sense and meaning in the world have finally dispersed. I suspected all along that as soon as I would get back to school full-time my constant stress and worry would seize. I had moments where I actually felt a sense of depression upon the end of a lecture. Everything would be amazing if it wasn't for finances. I can't work at my normal job due to corolla, so I have basically no income at the moment, most likely do not qualify for unemployment benefits, and no rich parents either. I've been living off my savings, but I'm worried. I already applied at supermarkets since they're one of the few places still in business, but their response time is "some time" which doesn't give me much to go about. Also their websites are so professional that I'm starting to worry whether I qualify.

Anons of /lit/, how easy/hard is it to score an entry-level supermarket job?

[Anonymous No.15158021]

>HELLO WE'RE TRAPPED! I'M TRAPPED IN THIS THING YOU HUMANS CALL THE INTERNET! I'M 5533JJ33JJ FROM THE AINULDUR GALAXY, IT'S 40 BILLION LIGHT YEARS FROM HERE AND I NEED YOUR HELP, PLEASE DONATE 400 DOLLARS TO MY PAYPAL ACCOUNT

[Anonymous No.15158029]

>>15157150
>>15157354
>>15156823
Basado

Is Don Quijote meant to be a tragic character? Are we supposed to sympathize with him or laugh at his idealism, or both?

[Anonymous No.15158045]

I want to fuck ugly/fat chicks

[Anonymous No.15158057]

I hate how everything is so fast paced. You have to do this within a certain amount of time. We'll get it done in x amount of time! Seconds count! Hurry up you're doing it too slow! We've got more to do so speed up!

I want to take things slowly. I don't want to rush. I do things deliberately and carefully. It's so annoying to be hurried for absolutely no reason.

[Anonymous No.15158075]

>>15157093
Nigga, it's bullshit. Go read Lao Tzu
(Used to be a Tolstoy fag)

[Anonymous No.15158085]

>>15157526
I've been feeling the same way. I'm not sure if it's just a getting older thing but I don't take any interest in the incessant shitposting anymore. I think the rise of constant connection, cell phones, have made the place more immediately accessible and lowered the "bar" for participating in discussion. I think this isn't unique to 4chan. The fact is that communication has homogenized across the internet. The discussions, or lack thereof, taking place here in all reality aren't much different than those taking place anywhere else. Twitter, Reddit, 4chan, etc, as much as you want to pretend this place is isolated from those places, the reality is the lenses of discussion have streamlined the way all of these places act and operate. It's just a different flavor of the same conversation. Even on Reddit you can find subreddits that are, essentially condensed versions of boards here. It all feels like variations on a theme. There's no genuine interest. People just like to meme. It's just mindless entertainment. It's the same as flicking through the channels on TV.

Is this just a failing of digital communication? There's no reversal of this trend. We're more connected than we've ever been in history but why does it feel like I'm just being exposed to the same mindless memes and "discussion" and shitposting day in an day out. We're stuck in some permanent feedback loop, anywhere you look it's the same. None of it brings me any genuine insight or stimulation.

What am I getting from this? We're more connected than we've ever been, why do I feel alone?

[Anonymous No.15158089]

My brain feels like it was dipped in cement.

[Anonymous No.15158104]

>>15156379
Ireally have to poop, but I am too busy shit posting, reading, and listening to youtube videos. I think after I make this post I will get up and go poop. Strange enough as I wrote that last sentence the turd seemed to go hide make deep in my bowels. Do I no longer have to poop now? Why is my ass so sweaty now? Do I have the kung -flu? Is ass sweat a symptom, it can't be my ass tends to sweat a lot for no reason. It is quite the strange phenomena when I work out my ass doesn't sweat and doesn't reek, but when I sit down to read or fire off an email my ass becomes a damn swamp and it smells horrible. I've been to distrtacted typing this and now I want to go back to what I missed in my video. Jello just mentioned GWAR so I think I will like this video. Who are the main mods for 4chan now? It has been a long time since wt snacks has been on here are there any that are as infamous? Why was shaq in gold bond commericals, why wasn't it some one else? I don't really like shaq all that much.My hair is at its longest now and I think im going to keep growing it until i look like an american indian(horses not 7-11). that's another thing every indian I have met(black foot, potawatomi...) have all reffered to themselves as indians and not native americans. Is that more a things with west coast indians wanting to be called native americans or do midewest indians not give a shit. Well the turd has returned until next time /lit/

[Anonymous No.15158136]

I despise modern "dating". The dawn of quarantine has only made me turbo away of how awful it is to try and meet someone new, and genuinely connect with someone. The rise of the Netflixication of dating apps has completely destroyed human beings ability to truly meet, know, and understand new people.

>Are you single? You want to find a mate? Good news! We have 6 apps for you to download! Lets get started!
>Wow, this pretty girl matched with you! Let's try talking
>Conversations a little dry, huh? Oh well, our algorithm has selected 50,000 more to show you.
>Wow looks like you've connected with this person, how about a date?
>Well, you went on a date, you fucked, but is this really the one?
>She doesn't like some things you like, maybe she's not the one you want to be with
>Good thing our algorithm has just selected 50,000 MORE girls to show you
>Look, this one even reads! She likes your favorite author! You two really connect
>Wow, that date was great! How about another date?
>Sorry, looks like she wasn't completely satisfied with your taste in music, so she has opted to move onto one of her other hundreds of matches, of equal attractiveness
>You can't win em all!
>Good news!
>Our algorithm just found 50,000 MORE PEOPLE TO SHOW YOU!
>Get swiping goyim!

[Anonymous No.15158155]

>>15158045
why ugly/fat chicks?

[Anonymous No.15158191]

>>15158155
It's 2 specific girls I'm thinking about. I think they have shown interest in me but at the time I didn't even want to be seen with them in the street. Now I think I could move them into fwb territory.

[Anonymous No.15158213]

>>15156379
Two words. 'Sancho' and 'Panza."

[Anonymous No.15158350]

>>15157000
Holy basado ,divinely checked

[Anonymous No.15158366]

>>15158136
>matched with a woman on a dating app
get out, normal nigger.

[Anonymous No.15158400]

Anybody else noticed how the average quality of posts drops significantly when it's real burger hours? Really makes one ponder.

[Anonymous No.15158417]

>>15157997
Easy, supermarkets will take anyone.

[Anonymous No.15158430]

>>15158366
Fuck off

[Anonymous No.15158527]

>>15158417

Honestly sometimes I think I really could work in a supermarket for the rest of my life and not be unhappy
The work is not strenuous, it's a comfortable environment, it's incredibly consistent
The only real downside is the pay

[Anonymous No.15158548]

My writing isn't as good as I want it to be. I'm not progressing fast enough so that I can be satisfied with myself.

[Anonymous No.15158551]

I just want to be happy but i feel like i'm too cynical for it.

[Anonymous No.15158564]

>>15158400
Everything drops around burgers except for their weight.

[Anonymous No.15158611]

>>15157398
That’s probably not a bad way of going about it. The thing about those ateliers and expensive art schools in Europe and North America is that although I’m sure there is some benefit to them, they perpetuate this narrative that the school makes the artist when the converse is really true. The artists make art and subsequently, the school. If you want to be an artist, you have to produce art so I think you’re going about this in a pretty smart way.

[Anonymous No.15158624]

Life is war, war is eternal, victory is survival

[Anonymous No.15158646]

I've fallen into nihilism and I really don't see a way out. I don't believe in any higher power and I can't force myself to because I don't have faith. Modern life feels very artificial, my life only matters to the system in so much as I am a view count for a video, a target of advertisements or a buyer of products. There are so many things that would be considered hellish and dystopian even 50 years ago that are complacently accepted today - i.e. datamining from social media, your phone listening to you, NSA recording every single thing you do, etc. People similarly feel fake, including myself. It seems like people are either bitter, angry racists on 4chan or retarded normie consumers on TikTok and there's virtually no middle ground. I don't really want to do anything. I don't want to be a NEET. Nor do I want to get a job. I don't want to play video games, nor do I want to read books. I don't think I would be happy even if you gave me all the external trappings of success because I don't think humans evolved to be happy. The only thing I really enjoy is my favorite classical composers, but even listening to them I am plagued by the selfish, self-centered feelings of self-pity that I spent all the time in my youth I could've spent getting to the same level as those players and composers, I actually spent getting called a faggot in Call of Duty matches and playing video games. And I don't even have anything to show for it. I'm fucking terrible at games. Even fleeting moments of joy that I have, I know they will soon be gone and chances are I won't even remember them down the line. How much of my life have I actually been conscious for, and how much of that time do I even remember? I probably have knowledge and memory of less than 10% of my life. The rest might as well have never happened. Everything I do and think is colored by the knowledge that everything is ultimate ephemeral, illusory, and meaningless, making it hard to find any reason or will to do anything at all. I'm really struggling to see why suicide isn't the answer.

[Anonymous No.15158650]

i can't stop comparing my girlfriend to other women and finding her coming up short. when I started this relationship I had very low self-esteem, but since I've been with her I've become much more social and have gained a lot of confidence. increasingly these days I'm feeling unsastisfied with her, especially in the realm of looks and sex, and I'm having positive interactions with other women who I find more attractive. I still love her but my mind is consumed by fantasies of other women. to make matters worse I've started lifting again and I'm getting in better shape while she's gained a ton of weight and keeps on giving up on diets.
writing is going well though so I'm happy about that.

[Anonymous No.15158657]

>>15158650
break up with her pls

[Anonymous No.15158672]

>>15158657
but I love her and she's a remarkable person with a lot of qualities I really like and don't think I'm likely to find in other girls.

[Anonymous No.15158692]

Honestly I don't know why my dad is being so needy these two last years with me and my sister. He did not pay us any attention when we were kids and he did cheat on my mum tons of times and I honestly don't want him near me but I still feel sorry for him.

[Anonymous No.15158704]

>>15158672
Sigh, you will be unsastified with her later and probably you will cheat on her. Trust me if you are having doubts and looking other girls, she doesn't deserve that.

[Anonymous No.15158709]

>>15158650
Grass is always greener bro. I've been in this position before. If you genuinely like her, and you're happy, leaving her wont make it any better. You'll only hate yourself later on for what you gave up. I've made this mistake many times before.

[Anonymous No.15158713]

>>15158704
you make a good point, she certainly deserves someone who is completely committed in the way that I'm not.

[Anonymous No.15158729]

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[Anonymous No.15158735]

Genealogy of “Will I be something?”
In childhood I felt I had something important to give humanity. It was an ambiguous longing. From high school to when I was twenty this was repressed. I looked around and saw what I thought was the same thing in everyone else. Everyone wants to be something. A musician, a writer, a social media star. I figured what I had to give wasn’t so important because it was ubiquitous in all people. Through things like the internet I entered a relationship with self doubt that fed on itself. But inside there was always a spark that denied this. So throughout that phase of doubting I made small but increasingly persistent efforts at working towards something. The ball creeped at first but gained headway. My anxiety grew too but was eventually flattened by the propulsion of my cultivated will. At twenty it was clear my nebulous something was feasible. I’ve taken off from there.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nO0nytFsumo&t=3598s

[Anonymous No.15158741]

>>15158713
yeah, I didn't get cheated on but my bf uses to see other girls and that destroy my self-esteem even though I'm really cute. don't do that to her anon.

[Anonymous No.15158749]

>>15158713
trust me dude you're going to make yourself miserable if you leave her. dont listen to that other anon. i have done this before and i've only ended up remarkably more alone. if you start down this path you will NEVER be fully satisfied. once the idea is in your head that you need to "Trade up" and find someone better you will never be fully happy. dont do this to yourself man.

[Anonymous No.15158760]

>>15158646
What composers do you like?

[Anonymous No.15158762]

>>15158749
>>15158713
there is no "perfect companion" there is no "soulmate" it's all fucking bullshit. if you have someone who you can tolerate some what, and get along with, and think is pretty, then you've won the lottery and already found what most people do not. I'm begging you man, don't go chasing ghosts. you'll never end up with what you want. you'll only be alone.

[Anonymous No.15158769]

>>15158749
what a selfish moron.

[Anonymous No.15158771]

>>15156379
Pussy

[Anonymous No.15158773]

>>15158769
fuck off man. you don't know what you're talking about.

[Anonymous No.15158776]

>>15158773
fuck off you. She doesn't deserve a man that is thinking about other girls.

[Anonymous No.15158782]

>>15158741
Well there's no way in hell I'm going to cheat on her

>>15158749
Yeah I don't know, I'm working on resolving some of the issues with her but it's rough and sometimes I feel like I'm being a narcissisic coward trying to force her into something that she isn't

[Anonymous No.15158783]

And I taking a shit, oiled face, thinking about what I should do.

[Anonymous No.15158795]

>>15157997
To get jobs at a supermarket I had to go in daily to ask about my application. You have to be there in person harassing them

[Anonymous No.15158796]

>>15158417
That's a relief to hear. Not trying to talk anyone down, but uh, most of the employees I have seen have received less education than me plus I got working experience in a similar field. Do you happen to know what their average response time is?

>>15158527
This one chain I applied for actually pays quite well. Several bux over minimum wage plus regular raises.

[Anonymous No.15158809]

>>15158776
i'm giving him advice for his own happiness. fuck off. giving up something you like, and enjoy, and someone whom you see something in that you don't see in anyone else - it's a recipe for being unfulfilled and remarkably alone. you will NEVER find what you find, specifically, in her, in anyone else. if you are happy with her, if she brings you joy, then don't leave her.

that's the problem with this generation of dating, everyone is so strung up on finding perfection and pure bliss and a person who is absolutely perfect in every way, they want the love they've been sold by movies and media and art but that is fucking BULLSHIT. it doesn't EXIST. it's fake! its a fucking lie to sell you shit. you will never find it. if you leave her to chase it you will never, ever be happy. stop buying the bullshit.

you are happy with her.
she has something which obviously matters to you. do not leave her because you think, maybe, by some chance, you can find that in someone else. you will end up alone. i promise you. take my advice, or don't, and 10 years from now wonder why you never listened.

[Anonymous No.15158845]

>>15158809
There's a lot of people out there. Just because you did a mistake and never got to feel the same doesn't mean is going to happen with him. Also I know there's no perfect love but honestly I KNOW 100% sure that the girl can find a guy another one that is not looking to other girls or thinking about them. I have nothing against him but if he is unsastified with her looks and specially at sex, he will never be happy. He is also probably young so he won't be alone.

[Anonymous No.15158875]

>>15157000
Obnoxiously arrogant. Also:

>He
>His
>He
>He
>He

C'mon man, you can do better than that.

Also:
>cannot be found, / for it lies
This just sounds like you're trying to sound esoteric/poetic.

I think this bothers me so much because it reminds me of my own writing. The things you do that are bad confronts me with the things I do that are bad.

[Anonymous No.15158888]

>>15156379
I got the proof for my third book in. Only a tenth of the way through the text and every page has an edit or change I need to implement. I hate the dialogue, everyone is explaining everything and everyone sounds the same. I hate it.

[Anonymous No.15158889]

>>15156379
I am terrified that I will never find true love. I found it, but she lives on the other side of the planet, and after almost 2 years things eventually broke down. I lost pieces of myself in the process that I'm trying to pick back up.

But for those two years, I haven't been able to get attracted to anyone else. Nobody else compares to her, in personality or physical form. She was my perfect girl. She was the one. And I'm terrified that I'll have to spend the rest of my life comparing people to her, that I'll have to settle for someone not as good but "good enough" just so I can have a family.

Worst part is, I know she'll be able to move on, if she hasn't already.

[Anonymous No.15158900]

>neighbor upstairs has been coughing his lungs out for a week straight
>yesterday it suddenly stopped
>dead quiet ever since
g-guise?

[Anonymous No.15158909]

>>15158900
you should call the police

[Anonymous No.15158921]

>>15158085
This post accurately sums up all my concerns about the Internet I have had for quite some time. There is no place for real discussion on the Internet because nobody wants to give in to the others point of view. Discourse is either cushioned so only affirmative, adjusted statements in some sort of closed filter bubble are allowed (reddit, youtube) or there is absolutely no convergence of the different point of views but only reluctance and stubborn hate towards each other.
However this is not what bothers me foremost. There can be good discussions here on 4chan if you really want to and I have learned quite some things over the years from here. Again, it seems to be more of a personal thing. I don't get anything from these discussions at this point, I think I have made up my mind so to speak and discussions are nothing but a waste of time to me irregardless of their quality. Even writing this right here seems dumb and pointless to me, I shouldn't even be here, this doesn't improve my situation and on top of that it's draining energy I could use for different things. I feel like I have followed similar discussions during these years here over and over again and there is no result, no terminal conclusion to be gained from this. The only thing I can really do therefore is stop going here. There is no other way around.

>We're stuck in some permanent feedback loop, anywhere you look it's the same. None of it brings me any genuine insight or stimulation.

What am I getting from this? We're more connected than we've ever been, why do I feel alone?

We feel alone because digital interaction only works so long as a surrogate for real interaction. Our body reminds us that digital connection towards other people is only that, intellectual but lastly empty connection devoid of real affection. Watching videos online is the same thing, a surrogate that after a fashion creates the illusion to live a real life while in fact it's only you sitting in front of a screen. Oh well. My brain is so addicted to this, it's hard to stop. They say that you are here forever. Don't let that phrase get to you. Maybe I should change my mindset. It's not that I want to leave this place because this place is bad but because I saw another place which I now want to head into, a new home, a new welcome. If it's possible.

[Anonymous No.15158957]

No will but the will of God

[Anonymous No.15158980]

I'm serious. Can one of you guys get Karina's sister to come back? I liked her. Also I want to learn to drive. Someone please teach me to drive.

[Anonymous No.15158981]

>>15158921
It's all dehumanizing. The people you talk to here aren't real people, they're just text on a screen. You don't see them. You don't see them react. You don't see them think. Their entire being is filtered into words and images. The person you argue with could be 5 different people with different viewpoints. Get tired mid way through an argument? Just close the thread. Person annoying you? Call them a faggot.

It's cancerous to discourse because at some point online discourse became the real life discourse. You see especially in politics now, online arguments became how we argue in real life too. Someone that doesn't agree with you is some abhorrent extremest who deserves to be marginalized. We removed the reality from the internet, and now, we're removing the reality from real life. We see human beings now, real live human beings, as abstractions of text and images, versus the other way around. The two "personas" have merged into a singular existence. The online world became the real world and the real world is dead and gone.

Then this trickles into real life - like relationships. If you want to forego dating apps and try to meet people the "old fashioned way" you're not just vying for someones attention, but rather competing with an infinitely deep dating pool people, a lot of whom are a better "match" than you. more compatible, better looking, etc. you used to date out of locality. someone you work with, live near, etc. it promoted localism. you entered a community of people and helped tie bonds together. but now we date out of convenience. your pool of options is no longer your neighborhood/town/city, its the whole connected world. there's always someone better. everyone is trading up. we're all just abstractions of tinder profiles.

[Anonymous No.15159013]

I've decided as I approach 30 that I want to take writing seriously. I've written some short stories and started a novel that I've had an idea now for awhile, but I am finding that I write a little and have so many more ideas on what I can do for this book. I don't want to end up with a bloated mess.

Also, everything i write seems so mediocre. Not outrageously bad, just nothing there that would catch my eye as a reader. It doesn't help that I just finished reading some Joyce and am now reading Moby Dick. I just don't see how I could ever possibly go from my plain prose to the beauty the great writers were able to produce.

Does writing really get better if you keep doing it? Is it hopeless without an MFA or studies in literature?

[Anonymous No.15159045]

i’ve been hit really hard by some unaddressed (but old) grief and this combined with the disruption to my usual routine (going to class, library) created by quarantine has generated a powerful depression. i wrapped her death up symbolically in so many other things—my mother’s approval, my capacity to love, my fitness as a caregiver...but it wasn’t my fault that she got sick, cancer doesn’t give a fuck how much life you have left in you. i think i’m feeling so much this year around the anniversary because i’m finally strong enough to confront these feelings. i’m my own person and i don’t need to chase approval that i will never receive. i did all i could do. i really did. she died anyways. one day, i’ll love someone as fiercely as i loved her, my guardian angel. i’m driven by a fundamental desire to do right by others. i want to help as many people as possible. one day i will be a good parent, a good spouse, a good friend. i want to be vulnerable in that way. i want to know how to be vulnerable and sincere in that way.

[Anonymous No.15159085]

>>15159013
>Is it hopeless without an MFA or studies in literature?
Just read more and write a lot, it's what the people you admire did to get better.

[Anonymous No.15159114]

>>15158888
quads checked. do you hate your book, your dialogue, or what has been done to your dialogue? is it a series of three?

[Anonymous No.15159133]

is going to therapy worth it?
psychoanalytictherapy?
how do i choose which one?
whats with this bill you send to get reimbursed by your insurance provider they keep mentioning?

[Anonymous No.15159138]

Finally I have reached the point where I won't wait for help, approval, or trad pub ways. I will go full self-pub.

[Anonymous No.15159143]

>>15159133
Psychiatry? That's nothing but a racket for the Jew!

[Anonymous No.15159149]

>>15159114
It's a series of three. I hate the dialogue, it sounds juvenile and faux-heroic. Everyone sounds like they're trying to make themselves sound more important than they are; maybe I just can't write dialogue for shit. The most enjoyable part of the book I've read so far is three pages of non-dialogue text about a character's feelings and reactions to other characters.

[Anonymous No.15159165]

>>15158909
idk. i dont want to be the cunt who calls the cops on someone minding their own business. but i think he might really be dead. what should i do?

how long does it take for a corpse to start smelling?

[Anonymous No.15159188]

>>15159165
why not just go knock on his door? tell the landlord?

[Anonymous No.15159202]

>>15159149
Script writers say a) dialogue is music, and b) the biggest sin is to tell the audience what they already know, so it's best to cut explanations and dialogue which is not sing-a-longable jazz be.bop

[Anonymous No.15159210]

>>15159165
call the cops stupid, it doesn't bother someone to have a cop come to their door and say "we had a report that someone sounded sick in this apartment" when it's ambiguous who even called it in

or go up there and knock if you feel comfortable. stop putting your own discomfort before some guy's life even if the guy sucks or whatever

[Anonymous No.15159228]

>>15156379
Ah yes, the mind of a real thinker. A real stinker. A blinker nigger nagger nigger in his prime HOO boy lemme TELL YOU about some shit. I'm finna clickity clack on my asshole beeferoni before I fuck up some niggaz in a video game fuck shit. I'm think about nothing but the typing. Every day we stray further from God? on God? Deadass? Smash or pass this DICK nigguh. Clickity clack down the track it's LOTS N LOTS OF TRAINS.

Here's a touchin story:
Anon was at his computer, writing this post. He drank some FUCKING water because of all the thirst he got from siping left on Tinder for the past 7 hours. SIKE NIGGUH, I'M BANNED FROM TINDER. A cave is just an organic house. Sub sethical ethical. A proton is a fuckin noob. Cyber security more like put it in your ass and flip the switch.

If you don't think San Marzano tomatoes are the TIGHTEST SHIT then get the gtfo away from me. I swear to God I will fuck each and every last one of you up for shitposting in my SERIOUS THREAD. There's a pen on my keyboard haha look guys I'm so fucking prepared to write my fucking novel. Your novels are shit and will never get published. My novel, starting with this post, will make literal hundred of Litecoins, which I will then use to fuel my private military. I will enact ware on Bosnia for being a bunch of yeeyee doodoo butthole ass niggas. I need y'all to understand. You DON'T understand. Under stand or over sit; we don't know. What doth life? Bitch suck my booty. Fuck your cock jew nose tactics, I will never use Windows 10. I'm on my med rn gimme a few days. haha 69

Why is my return key so shit OH WAIT
kekmeme the fatass struggles to find his friggin small ass DICC after finding some loli porn on the johnnydeppweb poopoo site #4 OH SHIT PLOTWIST IT WAS TRACED FROM REAL CP AND NOW HE GOIN TA JAIL
serves him FUCKING right
At the court hearing, in ALABAMA, this dood got sentenced to LIFE and TEN YEARS. kekmeme was a cunt and deserved to die, but hol up; WHAT IFIT WAS A CONSPIRACY BY APPLE
lemme tell ya summin
nigga ded in his jail cell
just like epstein
grace brace race war incumming
I swear to God, when I find the nonce from that one private server, who lives at 162 Melmar Dr btw, I'm gonna break his legs and cut off his dick. I aint even schizo btw. But you know what IS schizo? These fuckin threads askin you to write what's on your mind. Fuck that shit, I do that every day. Y'all can suck artistic and possibly autistic dingdong. Reality is a spook and so are you, faggot.

Did you know? KNOW YOU DIDN'T, AND NOW GI JOE HAS TO FIGHT THE VIETNAMESE ON HIS OWN, YOU USELESS STINKY FUCK.
Ok but seriously where did I put my hat

[Anonymous No.15159285]

>>15159188
>>15159210
idk, i think i'll wait a few days and try and keep an eye out for noise/movement from him. apparently it takes a good while for bodies to start stinking. he probably has friends or family or something who will notice he's not responding to texts/calls. i can't just knock on some guy's door.

[Anonymous No.15159292]

>>15159285
>i can't just knock on some guy's door.
hes your neighbor. is it a complex or a normal house? tell the landlord if you don't wanna knock.

[Anonymous No.15159301]

>>15159285
Why can't you do something really simple?

[Anonymous No.15159371]

>>15157526
I've read this so many times through the years

[Anonymous No.15159390]

Been feeling pretty shitty lately. Probably gonna read notes from the underground again

[Anonymous No.15159411]

>>15159292
>>15159301
because i have autism and it isnt my place

that fucking fag is probably dead up there. one day he's coughing loud enough to shake the windows and the next dead silcence. fuck

[Anonymous No.15159432]

Call me sappy but inspiration is everything to me. For me to not perceive beauty is death. The sight of raindrops splashing into a puddle ought to give someone enough visual and auditory pleasure for an afternoon. There are worlds within worlds and possibilities within possibilities. That there is more crammed into life than life can experience gives the cardinal directionality and fatefulness of every decision, for every choice is a destruction of pathways into the infinite. More poetry is packed into your average spec of dust than the works of Shakespeare, off its minute surfaces reflect the entire universe and a complete inverse specification of everything else. Off me reflects the entire universe for I am like a speck of dust, there is more within oneself than one can know. May a cloud of butterflies overtake the world.

[Anonymous No.15159443]

>>15159202
That is helpful advice, thank you. I think I'll try to minimize what I can here and go for a more conversational tone in my next project. Thanks, anon.

[Anonymous No.15159452]

>>15159411
i wouldn't recommend going to knock his door because the virus can be all over but just i will recommend to call someone else to enter to his appartement, please.

[Anonymous No.15159530]

>>15159133
start with CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy)

[Anonymous No.15159778]

I am constantly unhappy with my circumstances but continually viewing the past favorably despite the knowledge that I was unhappy then too. Does this mean my unhappiness is illusory, if (according to a theory of truth-value links) there is no net difference in my unhappiness between now and then? Either the sum of my unhappiness has remained constant or I descend into an ever more vibrant hell with each passing day. I discount the latter hypothesis for surely I am no more cracked up than I used to be. Rather, fate chooses fit to substitute one set of hells for a different fresh hell, the net temperature notwithstanding.

[Anonymous No.15159821]

G, I feel so bad for being mean to you. Please PLEASE come over and teach me to drive. <33

[Anonymous No.15159881]

>>15158611
Thank you!

I imagine it's very similar to the dilemma writers have before publishing anything.

[Anonymous No.15160041]

I don’t know how much I love the idea of a career that requires mental strength. Sometimes thinking is exciting but otherwise it’s a drain and I don’t know if it’s something worth pouring so much of my life into. This may just be romantic, but lately I’ve been fantasizing about manual labor, something predictable, a meditative routine that becomes innate. It would be nice for my body to learn for itself and I could just mind other things while I work. A lot of people hate that sort of thing after a while I’m sure, but at least it’s consistent. I know AI will probably take those jobs anyway but damn, why did I get so set on teaching and growing into an academic? I should’ve been a carpenter and wrote poetry on the side. I could’ve organized and studied philosophy or whatever in my off time, but what am I getting into?

[Anonymous No.15160046]

>>15158981
I guess you are correct insofar as today we cannot escape the merge of digital and real life. It's indiscernible at this point and even our body is in many ways connected to digital devices. To put it differently, our body is adopting to technology making it hard to speak of a natural body apart from modern technological developement while our inner and outer appeareance is mainly a matter of presentation via images and text. We are what we present which we are and this presentation is placed in an ocean of uncountable miniature presentations of letters and images, against which it is hard to stand out, rather you will go under and remain a nobody. It probably won't make that much of a difference to not be on 4chan anymore as I won't come around the Internet and not using the Internet is not excatly compatible with reality and while it can be done, of course, it makes you a reclusive which only very very few people are made for, I am not one of them. Still, the Internet lacks sincere affection, sincere discourse, sincere reactions, it's all a show and the feeling of being connected turns out as an empty feeling, without substance, thus all the degeneration and simplification everywhere. Is there an antithesis? Local life? Simple love? I don't think it's so easy. The Internet is too ingrained in our daily life. It goes further than that though. The search for perfect intersocial connection on a deep unified level - let's call it love - has always been in vain for so many people. Hence all the tragedy and suicides in literature related to love. After all everyone is for his or her own and dies on his or her own, regardless of friendship and so on. Yet, I want something real in life. Better love someone and kill myself about it than more years of being idle and trapped in (yet blissful I have to say) delusion.

[Anonymous No.15160056]

>>15158760
Beethoven, Dvorak, Schubert are my top 3

[Anonymous No.15160124]

One should like to think that a superabundance of willpower overacts deficits in other categories. That is after all the definition of willpower, the ability to overcome a preponderance of countervailing facts. I am continually reflecting on my past actions and wondering if it was the best I can do. But what are you at your best? There is no answer. For the openness toward some hypothetical better is always present, there being no absolute best by which to compare oneself to. If problems remain the actions of the past are refuted, it is never enough. The cruel reality of this is that after growth is decay, as soon as growth stabilizes decay soon follows, so growing into truth is soon controverted by a loss of competence. In this very way is the Human constantly defeated. "Becoming into" translates immediately after its peak is reached into "becoming out of"

[Anonymous No.15160171]

Facts have causal agency; wishes are putative. Wishes wish to become facts.

[Anonymous No.15160203]

>>15159411
>one day he's coughing loud enough to shake the windows and the next dead silcence.
He might have taken himself off to hospital, though there's no harm in a call.
>>15156379
The perversity of fortune, especially as it pertains to subtlety that art, however fine, cannot transfer, but can sometimes recall or reinforce: A corollary to Emerson's recommendation to follow whim is that reason, in the sense of motive, or as a whim, need not be apprehended by anyone else prior to results for the sweetness of its nature to show in time: One simply prefers conditions of florid tranquillity, goes there, and does a little to make it more like that, because there is where it's most possible. How else could affinity operate but that way? One sees this all the time and despite how explicable it is, it always gives an impression of miraculousness--that reason in fact has so much leverage for whom it persists without felt effort. Stevens puts this thought about reasonableness into a more experiential form in Credences Of Summer, such that those who aren't like that have never been there either, whether once or twice or too often to remember as a particular instance. Elizabeth Bishop more or less confesses to not being like that in The Unbeliever, though I don't entirely believe her account, since as far as the nightmarishness of her visions goes at times, its overall effect is too richly considered to be less than considerate.

[Anonymous No.15160520]

>>15159371
I wonder how many of these people made it. Imagine it's always the same person.

[Anonymous No.15160548]

I kinda wanted to write an incel romance but then I realized that it was just a power fantasy with me as the MC and Asuka as the girl, that would eventually just degenerate into me writing about us having kinky sex.

[Anonymous No.15160578]

>>15158650
I did the same thing and eventually broke up with my gf so I could get other girls and oh boy! how I regret. I was young and the tough of being with her for the rest of my life while I only had being with 5 or 6 girls before her, was scary, but still. How old are you? Don't break up with her, looks aren't everything and sex can always get better with some open talking here and there.

[Anonymous No.15160610]

I live in a seaside industrial town with horrible car centered infrastructure. The plague shut everything down, so all the plants stopped, no giant boats are coming in, and there's no traffic. I am seeing squirrels everywhere and I am hearing more birds singing than ever. The water is clearer and you can occasionally see fish. It's actually kind of pleasant for once.

[Anonymous No.15160957]

I'm drinking beer, eating chips and reading Baudrillard on my smartphone; I'm feeling comfy af. I got nothing on my but the absurd of the hyperreal and Baudrillards neurotic prose.

[Anonymous No.15161562]

I wasted the past decade of my life becoming mediocre at programming. The thought of freelance web dev or making apps does not appeal and I can't imagine anyone ever giving me an actual job. I have none of the creativity, drive, or other skills necessary to make games. I have told people countless times that I am going to start working on a project but I never actually do. I have no social skills or really any other redeem qualities. I have the ability to digest slightly complex subject matter but a complete inability to apply what I learn to anything worthwhile. Essentially nothing interests me. I have spent so much time chasing the promise of basic financial security that I have lost my higher-order brain functions. I am an animal.

[Anonymous No.15161612]

I HATE COOMING! I HATE WHORNIES! I WANT TO ASCEND!

[Anonymous No.15161734]

I’ve been dreaming of the girl who I had unrequited feelings for quite a lot recently. The whole thing transpired a bit over a month ago now. It might be the quarantine or it might be something else. There was another girl before which was unrequited as well (my luck) but I never dreamt of her after the final nail in the coffin was tapped in.

Any thoughts, similar experiences or general comments bros? I have been quite melancholic as of late - creeping thoughts of the latest girl has definitely contributed to that.

[Anonymous No.15161870]

I don quixote’d myself with romance novel to the point where I have zero interest in flesh and blood women and the thought of being in a relationship with one fills me with anxiety and vague disgust. I don’t think I can be saved.

[Anonymous No.15162072]

>>15156379
I wanted to say this in a /v/ b8 thread but, one thing I love about Touhou is that the print works are a part of the series as much as the games.

[Anonymous No.15162082]

I have essentially no accomplishments in my life and am starting to feel more insecure about it than I used to. I've always wanted to record an album or publish a book of poetry but now part of it would be proving to myself that I can do it.

And I have an internet addiction.

[Anonymous No.15162094]

>>15162072
i've tried touhou games before but shit was so hard i just gave up, lmao

[Anonymous No.15162122]

the more i think about it the more i realise universal education has made it impossible to move forward as a society

[Anonymous No.15162311]

>>15162094
Some of the official danmaku games are harder then others. If you're new to built hell, Thare is no shame in playing on easy. It takes a wile to get used to them.
The print works alone are worth it. It's like a Japanese Cthulhu mythos thats super cute cross between The Hobbit and Alice In Wonder Land.
pic somewhat related

[Anonymous No.15162692]

Everything is unequal: in ability and potential and everything else
Everything is in competition: if it consumes resources of any kind, then it is in competition with all others
Individuals band together to better compete: cooperation is necessary, but do not think there is an end to competition
Individuals best cooperate with those they have a mutual understanding of: Cooperation is doomed if one cannot trust those to whom they are allied
Therefore: Modern nations must balance between internal trust and external competition. This is why alliances and confederations cannot grow to large. The internal parts will hold competing interests and will not trust one another.
The above is objective. The below is more controversial
The most natural and effective organization is that of the “tribe”: an extended family unit guided by its patriarchs. However, this unit is too small to effectively compete in the modern age. In order to compete with others a further network of alliances must be built up, and new identities must give the internal cohesion necessary for it.
Identity is a matter of psychology, but it must serve a practical purpose: the common advancement of its members in the great competition. If it fails this, or if people within the group feel that another part of the group are splintering off for their own gain, or otherwise unfairly taking advantage of the organization, the identity will break into smaller and more cohesive components. This gives rise to new sub-organizations, which will eat each other. This continues until one either dominates the others through force, thus augmenting their strength to competitive levels through imperial exploitation, or a new coalition of components forms and begins the proses of identity building again. This new coalition will almost certainly be more similar to each other than the old coalition was, both culturally, geographically, and genetically.
The above “civil war” of the old identity collapsing into more effective but smaller new identities is a highly costly process. It saps energy and resources which could be better used in the wider, global, competition and expends them on paranoid infighting as all try to resolve the chaos.
There is no good answer to this conundrum. How tight knit may a group be before it is too small to compete with its rivals? How general can an identity be before it loses all potency? These and other fundamental questions in political science have no set answers, and the best solution will always shift like sand.

[Anonymous No.15162705]

>>15162692
However, I can make a few basic recommendations.
- Do not place people of very different Race, Religion, or Culture together. Diversity invites costly infighting.
- Keep the distribution of wealth relatively equal. If one group feels that it is being exploited, infighting will result.
- Accept rivals and outsiders as just that: rivals and outsiders. Dreams of universal peace or of “human brotherhood” will only fail in time.
- The state is not an economic institution, to be governed by economic interest. It is the organization of a community: a collection of similar people who identify with each other. If this is forgotten, the separate identities will form their own organizations and protections, whatever cost it takes.
- Maintain respect for the elderly and the past in general. History is the only road to the present.

Yeah I know this isn't pol, but you asked what was on my mind, and I only wrote this yesterday.

[Anonymous No.15162728]

Got in a fight with the manager yesterday. It was about corona and PPE. She was arguing from emotion and I ended up making her run away, crying. I really like her and the best part of the job is getting to see her. She understands and there is no better feeling then to be understood by someone that cares.

But i'm not sorry one fucking bit about it and I would rather have her angry at me then sorry and sick with airborne aids. I know I wasn't the only one worried about PPE at the store. Most of the workers there are taking after my lead and showing up with masks and proper covering.

I'll talk with her once we meet again on Monday.

[Anonymous No.15162751]

>>15156379
how did I get here and why?

[Anonymous No.15163154]

>>15162751
A man and a woman fucked and now you have to live out this sordid existence.

[Anonymous No.15163176]

"I've got to sleep" I said, "but the air is so dry, and hot, the only humidity is that pouring out of yourself through cold sweat." I replied. "Why is it only coming out of the back of my head?" I wondered. "Never mind, I'll just try to close my eyes and hope for the best." I added finally.

[Anonymous No.15163186]

Once a teething ember. Now a rising smoke consumed by a cold draught.

[Anonymous No.15163261]

>>15156379
amniotic fluid

[Anonymous No.15163270]

Not once in my entire life has a girl expressed even the faintest of interest in me. No shy smiles, no furtive glances, flirtations or teases. I have never been asked to dance. In fact I'm quite convinced I have been invisible to women since I went through puberty. Over the years of browsing 4chan I've read countless greentext stories of anons bemoaning their obliviousness in regards to girls who had been interested in them, or regretting rejecting girls who had approached them. I've always wondered why exactly these anons were hung up on these incidents. To me it seems that if it happened once, it could happen again. If one girl had found you good enough, there surely would be others. The odds you met the only girl on the entire planet who finds you good enough are slim to none.
I do not usually dwell on these things. My solitude is a fact of life I've long accepted and I expect no change, ever. There are other things to occupy a man's time. But on certain nights when the stars are hidden behind the blanker of clouds I feel these very deep emotions. I have an expansive caldera of sadness within me that I cannot reconcile or diminish. It grows as the years pass despite my attempts to quell it and on these deep nights I sit alone in the dark and tears well to my eyes over something I cannot help. It is an irreparable desolation burned across my malformed soul. I am defeated

[Anonymous No.15163272]

>>15156379
Social distancing and isolation is turning me into a neet and I’m terrified

[Anonymous No.15163385]

I miss schizoposter

[cunt !OvNqHWMOSk No.15163423]

>>15156379
If everything is about sex, except sex which is about power, then what is the power of not having sex?
The hermit truly is greater than all others.

[Anonymous No.15163452]

>>15156379
Basically three options:
1. My ex, who in her stubbornness expects the world to move for her.
2. Abby, a lot stronger than she used to be. A Latina with a high verbal iq. A good match imo.
3. Megan, smart if a little awkward. She's quarter Japanese which is sexy. She grew up in the same hometown as me so it may work if shtf.

All roughly the same attractiveness (about 7.5). I'd create harem with the three if possible. A black girl, a Latina, and a partial Asian. All fairly smart, all introverted. Good, obedient wives for my progeny

[Anonymous No.15163466]

>>15163452
Ironically they're all friends on Facebook and they like eachothers posts despite being from different backgrounds. I feel like if I was able to make the harem thing work it'd go surprisingly well.

[Anonymous No.15163481]

>>15156379
You can't save the damned.
Lost nearly six years trying to 'show the way' to some people that are dear to me.
Honestly, most of them will probably commit suicide in the future but I can't waste more time with them.
I'll be going to bed, good night.

[Anonymous No.15163496]

>>15163270
I felt nothing towards girls who liked me and my crushes felt nothing towards me. Maybe you're in the better position as you've never been in this situation.

[Anonymous No.15163510]

>>15156379
Why have the past several WWOYM's been all about relationships? Is it because of the quarantine? Why can't we talk about something more interesting?

[Anonymous No.15163513]

>>15163481
I have a friend who's probably back on meth. What can you do? I won't sacrifice myself for someone who doesn't want to be saved.

[Anonymous No.15163514]

Over the last few weeks I have been having intrusive thoughts, severe anxiety, panic and delusions. I fear that I am developing schizophrenia. I’m scared bros. I fear that these episodes are only getting worse and longer. I guess my years of drug abuse are finally catching up to me and this is my punishment
What do I do

[Anonymous No.15163526]

>>15163514
I guess it depends. Modern society would label you as a schizophrenic/bipolar/etc. I had a manic episode a couple of years ago. Am I defined by my manic episode? I've had to do a ton of soul searching, and I mean a TON, and I'll still deal with depression until I die, but I'm not just a 'depressed' or 'bipolar' person like society tells me I am. Youve got a long, hard road ahead of you. Look into the roots of your delusions, question every thought until youve come to the root of your issues. I have no guarantee this will work, only what's helped me. Godspeed.

[Anonymous No.15163580]

>>15163481
I'm the anon from here >>15161734. I'm in the exact situation you're in. I know how you feel - how taxing it is and the emotional anguish it causes. I think ultimately though, it's a painful experience regardless if its us or this anon >>15163270. You're just picking two equivalent evils at this point. Dangling steak in front of the hungry man or pouring water from a vessel in front of the thirsty man.

[Anonymous No.15163587]

nigga poop in your butt i poop outta my butt i touch my keyboard i touch your face i touch the handrail i sit on the step
bitch bitch suck ya tits bitch im on the list bitch bitch suck a tit bitch

[Anonymous No.15163592]

>>15163496
I'm the anon from here >>15161734. I'm in the exact situation you're in. I know how you feel - how taxing it is and the emotional anguish it causes. I think ultimately though, it's a painful experience regardless if its us or this anon >>15163270. You're just picking two equivalent evils at this point. Dangling steak in front of the hungry man or pouring water from a vessel in front of the thirsty man.

[Anonymous No.15163670]

>>15163452
>>15163466
Go with Megan. Abby and Megan are both smart, but the slight awkwardness of Megan makes her sound endearing. I'm not usually attracted to fully Asian girls but I can attest to the fact that a slightly apparent heritage can make them extremely attractive.

[Anonymous No.15163700]

>>15156379
I wish my waifu was real. I feel more strongly about her than I've ever felt for a 3D woman, so strongly that it hurts sometimes. I know feeling this way about a fictional character isn't healthy but I don't really want to stop it.
Maybe I'll meet her in the next life.

[Anonymous No.15164142]

>>15158795
That wouldn't be a thing with corona around, would it? They handle their applications online, it shows in which part of the process it is on there too.

[Anonymous No.15164489]

I want to start writing, but I'm not really sure where to get started.
Does anyone have some essay's I can read the subject? or general advice for people who are interested in writing?

[Anonymous No.15165146]

She posted a picture of her and her new man. They were in a sunny field, laying in the grass, hands entwined within one another. I saw it when I woke up, my own sun hit my eyes through the crack in the curtains, and even with a new woman on my horizon, I felt a dull stab in my heart.
She never posted pictures of us.
But she doesn’t matter anymore. I let the sun warm me and got ready for work. I worked for some time but the thought of her kept playing at my mind, just as it did when we were together and I felt her gaze falling from me.
I met her too soon. She was young and dumb, and I was making a transition which I wouldn’t realize into an adult job and life. I noticed the differences, but I didn’t let her go like I knew I should. So as I worked she found another man who had a heart less aged than mine and in him she found the young companion she needed.

I can understand the lack of care for stability at the beginnings of adulthood. I can understand her need to float around a college without much cares. I can understand a lot of carelessness she bore, yet the understanding doesn’t make it hurt less when I see her and her new me happy and carefree while I need to work and care.
She never posted pictures of us. I want to see something good in that she posted pictures of him. Maybe she is growing up. Maybe she’s actually committing to something in a way the old her never could. Maybe she’s growing and maybe I helped that evolution. Or maybe she’s a monster and I should venerate her as such.
I don’t know, and that’s what I hate so much about loving somebody. There are no answers, only what hurts and what doesn’t.

[Anonymous No.15165152]

I applied for unemployment benefits today. Normally I wouldn't be eligible for them but the city has kinda agreed we're in a situation of hardship. Never thought I'd get on them so early in life.

[Anonymous No.15165223]

>>15165152
Don’t be hard on yourself. It’s a program there to assist people who need it. The stigma associated with state programs of only addicts using them is stupid and needs to stop being propagated.

[Anonymous No.15165282]

>>15165223
Oh, I didn't mean to come off as disdainful towards it. My mum raised me on NEETbux, I know what it's like, and I for sure find her more intelligent and a harder worker than a good amount of people. Honestly this pandemic is really showing how flawed the system is. Like I literally have no income, what else do they want from me? Yet it's not even guaranteed I'll get anything.

[Anonymous No.15165336]

>>15165152
Anon, i had to sweep streets for welfare despite having bachelor in nuclear physics.

[Anonymous No.15165351]

I got my bible in the mail today.

[Anonymous No.15165354]

>>15165336
Shit anon that's tough. Was this recently, because of the pandemic, or some other time/reason?

[Anonymous No.15165573]

>>15165354
You can do surprisingly little with just a physics bachelor, unless you can swing it into a coding/data analyst job

[Anonymous No.15165597]

Admission exam this Saturday and I've been sleeping like shit (didn't sleep today, it's 10:35a) and not studying.

[Anonymous No.15165599]

>>15163670
Ya but Abby is the most /lit/ option. She's a big Camus/Sartre fan. She's fairly nerdy for a Latina girl. She's also endearingly awkward

[Anonymous No.15165624]

I work in sales, I'm incredibly bad at it. We have a certain amount of "sells" to make a month and I'm currently far behind everyone. My boss called me out this morning on our Zoom call. I'm tanking at this point intentionally so they just fucking fire me and I can get on unemployment and spend my time working on myself instead of this shit job.

[Anonymous No.15165648]

>>15165624
What do you sale?

[Anonymous No.15165654]

>>15165648
I work for a company which buys structured settlements. So technically I'm "buying" things - IE, convince people to sell me their structured settlement in exchange for a cash lump sum. If you're in America you've probably heard our commercial.

[Anonymous No.15165664]

>>15165654
That's real scumbag shit, man

[Anonymous No.15165671]

>>15165664
I know. I started working here because they hire anyone and the base pay is decent. But it's soul sucking.

[Anonymous No.15165726]

>>15165671
Best of luck getting fired

[Anonymous No.15165745]

>>15165726
Thanks. My boss is becoming hostile now so I can't imagine it'll be much longer.

[Anonymous No.15165758]

>>15165654
Listen here Anon you've got to give people a firm handshake, look them square in the eye, and make them want to buy what you're selling. It's the art of the deal. If you get good enough you can go into real estate. People made a lot of money in real estate in 2007, and I have a buddy who made a killing in it last year. Enough to buy a motorboat! Now doesn't that make you want to get good at sales? Imagine having your own motorboat, or RV! I could buy your mom a titjob with that kind of money (don't tell her I said that). You just need some ambition Anon. You just need to go out there and grab it. You've got to give people a firm handshake, look them square in the eye...

[Anonymous No.15165825]

I've come to terms with my physical side. I can now jerk off without feeling any kind of remorse. I'm one step further into beyond god and evil.

[Anonymous No.15165986]

>>15165146
When I break up with a new gf the first thing I do is to stop following them on social media. Let her go and let your imagination fill the rest of the story.
>pic-related

[Anonymous No.15165989]

>>15165825
How?

[Anonymous No.15166146]

>>15165989
Are you religious? Then who gives a shit? Just avoid excessive masturbation/porn use (the less porn the better) and you're golden

[Anonymous No.15166214]

>>15165989
>the all is mind; the universe is mental
Uncounsciously, I was still behaving by christian standards. I'm not a Christian, and the remnants of its morality were preventing me from achieving my own being. You need to find a moral code that suits you and fully embrace it - be it degenerate or not. Furthermore, there is now this ubermensch cult, in which men seek to become the best version of themselves whatever the cost - which is not a bad thing per se, but most of us keep unachievable standards and believe that if we are not able to wake up at 5am, take cold showers and go to the gym we are shitty people. It's the same phenomenon that happens with girls and instagram models, desu. After realizing that we were exposed to extreme levels of stimulation since birth, we turn around and seek monastic lives to compensate for it. But that's just as extreme, we don't need to live like Kaczynski to be, not perfect, but ourselves. Sure, there is harm in excessive masturbation and porn, but, as Pessoa said, the world may be crumbling inside you, but you don't behave like it is.

[Anonymous No.15166240]

>>15166214
>but you don't need to behave like it it.

[Anonymous No.15166272]

>supposed to write a short narration for class
>put in a very generic opening to talktotransformer.com and reset until I get something relevant
I'm gonna send it to the prof by email now.

[Anonymous No.15166282]

I don't care about the fucking coronavirus. I don't give a fuck that some people are so hysterical that they will literally shut down society because of a fucking coof. I'm staying at home because government retards on are a fucking power trip and they're already miserable, lonely fucking faggots so they don't mind fucking life up for everyone else. They were never ready for this shit so now, there's a virus that's beyond their control but they want to pretend that they have control over the situation by saying "lmao just stay inside bro."

It's not like there's a fucking miracle cure for this shit, the moment we go back outside and resume normal life the thing is just gonna start spreading again. It's not like staying in your fucking house is going to magically transform your immune system and make you invincible. Even if there's a stupid vaccine for this thing, the country is too disorganized and retarded to be able to go around and give it to everyone and produce enough of it so that everyone can be vaccinated.

The US population is 328.2 million so that's the number of vaccines that would have to be produced. How long's it gonna take before we have a vaccine surplus? We haven't even got the fucking "cure" yet. The whole thing is bullshit and I just want normal life to resume. Fuck this

[Anonymous No.15166290]

>>15166282
What's your solution? Just let everyone get infected? That's even more retarded.

[Anonymous No.15166310]

>>15166282
>let's just let the health system collapse and let thousands of sick and injured to die
Based sociopath

[Anonymous No.15166318]

>>15165354
Its because i've given up.

[Anonymous No.15166359]

>>15166282

[Anonymous No.15166383]

>>15166310
Coward

[Anonymous No.15166486]

>>15165825
>>15165989
Are there rly ppl out there who are in shambles after busting a nut?

[Anonymous No.15166565]

>>15166310
Breh the health system is already getting BTFO'd, they were never ready. There was never a system in place. The coronavirus was first discovered in the fucking 1930's, HUMAN coronaviruses were discovered in the motherfucking 1960's.
>>15166290
What's MY fucking solution? My motherfucking solution? I'm a fucking retard who's shitposting on this site, what the fuck can I do? I'm not a fucking doctor. I can only describe what's going on based on the information that we're all consooming. THERE IS NO FUCKING SOLUTION until there's a cure than can be delivered to every citizen, which is nearly impossible because of how disorganized everything is.

[Anonymous No.15166653]

Do any of you guys work a manual labor job? How does it affect your writing? I work in an office and even working from home, it makes me want to kill myself. I think I’m actually dumber and worse at reading/writing for it.

[Anonymous No.15166687]

>>15166565
Oh lawdy he mad!

[Anonymous No.15166732]

>>15166282
You’re absolutely right to a degree. All of this is intertwined together and relies on the premise that is fundamentally a problem of psychology. That is to say that the moderns and the state apparatus have deluded themselves into thinking they “science” and “engineer” and “economics” their way around anything but it’s quite clear this is a fantasy, a symptom of psychotic delusion. You reap what you sow. However, I find so many people advocating to “go back to normal” just want to resume their corporate-consumer lives again. This is withdrawal from the capitalist drug at work. The slaves go crazy when there’s no work on the farm. Not you specifically, but how desperate are people to go back to their worthless jobs and mindless consuming which comprises 99% of their life prior this event?

[Anonymous No.15166950]

How do you fags find things to write about?

[Anonymous No.15166979]

>>15166950
I unironically use a word randomizer until ideas start popping up

Then write down some of them and leave them in the back of my mind. As I watch movies, read books, post here, live, those ideas mature. Then, when I feel like it, I start writing about a couple of them

Disclaimer: things end up being nothing alike what I expected at first

[Anonymous No.15167032]

>>15166979
>things end up being nothing alike what I expected at first
How came? How are you able to come up with ideas that are surprising event to yourself?

[Anonymous No.15167053]

>>15166282
americans are so scary

[Anonymous No.15167104]

>>15166950
I’m trying to start writing and unironically having problems with this. Frankly, it feels like I’m not well versed enough in the things I want to write about and it feels like everything else either has already been said or would be wasted.

[Anonymous No.15167157]

NOOOOOOOOO WE NEED THE BOOMERS TO LIVE AS LONG AS POSSIBLE! NOOOOO THEY CANT DIE OF ILLNESS AT AGE 80 THEY NEED TO USE RESOURCES UNTIL THEY'RE ATLEAST 95!!!!!!! WE NEED TO KEEP PAYING THEIR PENSIONS!!!! THEY LIVED SOUL SUCKING WAGIE LIVES UNTIL THEY WERE 60 NOW THEY DESERVE TO RELAX UNTIL THEY'RE OVER 100!!!!! NOOOO YOU CANT JUST LET HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF BOOMERS DIE AND FREE UP THE HOUSING THEY'RE OCCUPYING SO YOUNG PEOPLE HAVE KIDS BEFORE 35 NO NO NO NO NO NO WE NEED THE OLDERINOS TO LIVE PERPETUALLY!!

[Anonymous No.15167177]

>>15167157
Well, hello there, mister Raskolnikov!

[Anonymous No.15167300]

>>15158650
Bitch is gonna turn into whale, leave asap.

[Anonymous No.15167319]

>>15167177
Going to work is murder, peon. Stay inside. $1000 fine if you walk outside. Submit to authority. You are evil, we are good.

[Anonymous No.15167349]

>>15158650
Don't listen to these beta cucks, this is only a problem if you can't find another girl. I've been in the same position, you break up with your ugly whore gf only to realize you can't easily find another one. Usually, you start jacking off to her nudes or lewds she sent you and starting trying to talk to her again. This, obviously, ends up not working because she has already banged your friend. You subsequently develop a weird cuck fantasy where you start jerking off to pictures of her and your friend thinking of hiding in the closet as they have sex.

[Anonymous No.15167393]

>>15167032
The first idea that occurs to me, after being polished so much, ends up being something way different. It's not surprising, I'm not attached to my creative ideas.

[Anonymous No.15167395]

After a rough tenure in your life there is always a feeling of regret. No matter how you interpret it, regret explains it. Regret of your actions. Regret of your thoughts. These feelings last a long time. When you're able to turn that regret into curiosity, then you are ready to grow. It is important to remember that pit of regret will always be in your body. It's important to figure out what led to those regretful feelings. When you process why you can then apply those lessons to this new tenure of your life. Then one day you wake up and realize the pit in your stomach is filled with growth, and you are ready to move on and thrive.

[Anonymous No.15167494]

>>15167157
This but unironically. Kill em all

[Anonymous No.15167580]

Is graduate school worth it? I don’t know what to do. I honestly don’t have high hopes for it but I just hate what I’m doing now so much.

[Anonymous No.15167753]

>>15156379
His body stirred up a cloud of dust as it fell. I waited for a moment to savor the sight of his well-dressed limbs writhing in the dirt and the sudden transformation of a polished accent into heaving guttural groans of agony. As I walked over to his body, I stepped on his empty holster and kneeled down. My eyes traced from the dark pulp of silk and flesh on his chest up to his clean-shaven face. I could make out a watery reflection of the sun in his eyes. It must have been close to noon. His face was painfully creased and distorted. For a moment, my presence went unnoticed. Then mouth agape, he contorted his lips and spouted "You! YOU!" made an attempt to rise and fell to his back to face the sky again. "Me", I replied and pressed my revolver to his temple. A bodily spasm jerked the holster from underneath my foot as I fired.

[Anonymous No.15168035]

>>15166318
Why? I don't know your predicament or how old you are, but that's still such a valuable degree anon. Perhaps you've gone through a painful period but I doubt it's too late to use that kind of education (which you must've poured so much time, energy, and money into I imagine) to improve your situation. Even if it's a humble job, wouldn't you be more content to take advantage of some of the potential your degree offers? Graduating with a 4-year degree in nuclear physics is no small feat. It's always tragic when a defeatist mindset overshadows people who can do so much more.

[Anonymous No.15168046]

>>15167580
What kind of graduate school are you considering? Academia or law, maybe? I presume the former considering this is /lit/

[Anonymous No.15168057]

I bought a shirt but it's too big. like baggy. i hope i can shrink it in the wash.

[Anonymous No.15168763]

>>15168057
Just wear ur shirt as pants bro

[Anonymous No.15169491]

>>15168035
Its just a paper anon. I didnt know what to do with my life so i listened to others advice and chosen nuclear physics. However i realized that it wasnt for me (it didnt captivate) but i was too cowardly and lost so i continued and got a degree. I didnt want to do anything with physics and got so depressed that i returned to parents place and remained NEET. I have a such low self esteem that i only manage to do random manual jobs for welfare. Thats my life story of past 10 years.

[Anonymous No.15169703]

Really like this painting. I usually don't paint anything but portraits, but I wish I could get back into doing more studies of scenery. If I had to single out one thing I enjoy the most about drawing, I'd probably instantly say coloring- as in, both coloring something in and picking a palette. Sometimes you put down several colors and, together, they just all become extremely pleasant to look at. A light lavender is fine on its own, but pairing it with a sharp red is even better. I was doing nothing but drawing ever since quarantine started up until I had classes to deal with; I almost miss the freedom I had before but it's nice to be accountable for something. If I'm on break for too long, I easily become restless and start sleeping for 10+ hours, but having classes to deal with gets me on a 6-hour sleeping schedule.

[Anonymous No.15169736]

>>15156836
Resolve to do something crazy, and then do it.

[Anonymous No.15170269]

>>15165599
You seem to know better then. Go with Abby. Tell her to read better frogs like Céline. Then again women aren't drawn to that shit.

[Anonymous No.15170299]

I shouldn't have drank that second cup of coffee, I'm going to sleep like shit tonight

[Anonymous No.15170430]

>>15170299
Wow, TWO whole cups of coffee. That's way to much.

[Anonymous No.15170434]

How the fuck could I ever live up to these Nietzschean ideals I've set up for myself when I'm practically the Last Man himself?

[Anonymous No.15170436]

Und die heimat ein kleines blumelein
Und das heist

Erika

[Anonymous No.15170462]

I need to be more meticulous about my day even knowing that anything can happen to disrupt it. Considering that fact shouldn't stop me from trying to stick to a schedule.

[Anonymous No.15170524]

I want to leave 4chan. Last 6 years of life I've been here. It's been cool but I feel like it's just so retarded. Not that I long for the bygone days... It's just that I've gotten older I guess. I feel like I get less and less out of the site everyday. Just like I get less and less of the video games I play. I feel like I need to undo all my shit habits but I'm so pathetic I'll just be back here tomorrow.

[Anonymous No.15170533]

>>15170524
This place is full of pseuds and morons but also, there is really no other place on the internet where you can discuss philosophy and classic literature while keeping it fun.

[Anonymous No.15170552]

>>15170533
i know thats why its so hard to leave. at the same time, even though i will miss *some* good stuff it just feels like its necessary... a matter of personal growth.

[Anonymous No.15170575]

can't wait to get out into my great native community of Han business students and real estate agents
what a great world we live in

[Anonymous No.15170603]

>>15170436
Nein mein kamerade.

Die Grenzwacht hielt im Osten, dem Feinde lange stand,
Heut kehrt ihr letzter Posten, zurück ins Vaterland.
Erschöpft und aufgerieben, in treuer Ritterschaft,
Die Besten sind geblieben, uns ander'n brach die Kraft.

Doch bringen wir die Fahne, die wehend vor uns stritt,
Von Rigas blut'gem Plane, in allen Ehren mit.
Die sturmbewährt sich nimmer, vor einem Feind geneigt,
Und heute noch und immer, den Weg nach Osten zeigt

Es rauscht dorthin zu mahnen, zu ihr der Väter Geist,
Trotz aller Not ein Ahnen, das deutsche Zukunft heißt.
Sind wir auch fremd geworden, euch Brüdern aus dem Reich,
Aus West und Süd und Norden, das Banner blieb sich gleich.

Ob wir auch hier verderben, das kümmere euch nicht,
Die Fahne zu vererben, ist unsere letzte Pflicht.
Ich darf nicht länger zagen, bald zwingt sie euren Sinn,
Nach Ostland sie zu tragen, sie will sie muss dorthin.
Nach Ostland sie zu tragen, sie will sie muss dorthin.

[Anonymous No.15170679]

Being treated like a foreigner in your own third world shithole of a country is way worse than being treated like a foreigner in a foreign country. I know a lot of you most likely don't like immigrants, but if you were in a similar shoes you'd probably see moving in somewhere else as a better alternative.

[Anonymous No.15170732]

It's coming to a point where I have to consider writing an unergrad thesis. I'm in a humanities field, so I am having a lot of trouble even knowing where to start when it comes to picking a research topic that would be somehwat original and not a rehash or restatement of things I have read earlier. I am passionate about the things I study (philosophy, anthropology), but I feel like I dont have enough breadth of knowledge to even begin to identify a something worth writing about.

[Anonymous No.15170775]

>>15163270
No woman is ever going to ask a man to dance. Read a fucking book

[Anonymous No.15170920]

I want to "just write" but I make it about half a paragraph and it stops there. has anything worth reading ever come about from the author "just writing?" maybe a few but not at large. all good writing requires a lot of planning and outlining. Just write is for bloggers

[Anonymous No.15170951]

>>15159390
That book will end you, if you read it too many times, and never get to the end (like I have on 3 separate occasions, though I am aware there is at least a somewhat optimistic morale at the end, I have never gotten to it yet).

Read another Dostoevsky work instead.

[Anonymous No.15170966]

>>15159432
This post exhibits the type of clear wholesomeness that I needed at the moment, plagued by intense guilt and other things. Thank you.

[Anonymous No.15170983]

>>15166950
Unironically just write bro. At first you may feel "stiff" but eventually things will just flow effortlessly. The brain is a muscle like all the other muscles in your body in the sense that it needs a warm-up

[Anonymous No.15170988]

>>15170951
not him, but that one is too enticing because of the length. all the others would take me a month to get through. Plus, the underground man is kind of relatable to the average lurker of this board. not in some embarassing "Wow he's literally me" kind of way, but I'm willing to bet everyone on this board has felt something relatable to one of those "victim of society" or whatever characters.

[Anonymous No.15171000]

Where is the anon that made the "book recommendations general" thread? That was a great idea. I'll keep that shit bumped.

Also, this new janny is doing great work. He's only deleting the shittiest threads and letting reasonably on-topic-off-topic threads prove their worth.

[Anonymous No.15171008]

>>15171000
how the fuck do you know there is a new janny

[Anonymous No.15171009]

>>15159432
Nice post

[Anonymous No.15171010]

>>15171008
I can see the garbage threads disappearing. Once he cleared out a whole page in the catalog's worth of filth.

[Anonymous No.15171016]

>>15162705
>- The state is not an economic institution, to be governed by economic interest. It is the organization of a community: a collection of similar people who identify with each other. If this is forgotten, the separate identities will form their own organizations and protections, whatever cost it takes.
This resonated with me, the first 2 sentences. The rest, I am iffy about because I am still not sure about identities being the basis through which to analyze these things, but me still likes it.

[Anonymous No.15171036]

>>15171008
Not him but they recently had janny applications up for this board, sometime in late March/early April iirc. I don't know why he's referring to just one new janny, I have no idea how many they ultimately choose. Either he's making an assumption or does actually know something.

[Anonymous No.15171176]

>>15159285
anon with neighbor with the coof again:
he's coofing again quite badly. i guess he isn't dead. idk where he went for 2 days but he's up there right now... it sounds pretty bad

i already have corona so not like i can catch it twice. mine is super mild though. but for those concerned ,my autistic hesitation paid off. he isnt dead just yet. well, not yet. it's been 10 minutes of nonstop coughing fit now.

[Anonymous No.15171181]

I keep on thinking about this girl I used to hang out with and I don't know why I do. It would be better to just forget about her but she crosses my mind every day, she's not all I think about, but she crosses my mind regardless. We used to walk around together quite often, talk about whatever the fuck, and I thought we had a pretty good relationship. I didn't realize how fragile things were between us back then because I didn't want to believe that things wouldn't work out.

It was doomed to fail. Eventually, I stopped talking to her because I started noticing how shallow she was underneath that beautiful smile, pleasant laugh, and those good looks. It wasn't so much that she had a bad personality, it was that she didn't have one at all. I thought that it would be nice to be with her partly for status, because everyone would see this 10/10 next to me and it was a big ego boost for me. But she got tiresome to be around because there was nothing interesting to talk to her about. She liked to go to parties, drink, consoom media, etc and to be honest, we had little in common. I had friends to hang out with, hobbies to engage in without her so I figured it was better for me to just stop.

There were two versions of her, who she was on the surface and who she was underneath. On the surface, she was attractive, charmed through her looks, whatever. Underneath, she was a unidimensional, thoughtless product of social media and popular culture. I got so attached to the surface version of her that I desperately convinced myself that the other half of her didn't exist. No wonder it got frustrating, I was literally denying reality. How can someone who lies to himself ever be happy?

I stopped communicating with her entirely but I'd still run into her, see her from time to time. One time she got so close to me that we were nearly face to face and she wouldn't even look at me. I told myself I was done with her but in that moment, I found myself wanting her to look at me, say something, acknowledge me in some way. The funny thing was that when I would look away and do my own thing, I'd catch her looking dead at me from the corner of my eye. I thought of saying something, doing something to acknowledge her, but I promised myself that I was done.

But here I am, writing about it, so am I really done or over it?

[Anonymous No.15171182]

>>15167157
based
>>15167177
Rodion did nothing wrong

[Anonymous No.15171192]

>>15171000
>>15171010
huh, is that so? he probably saw our thread bitching about him and decided to act. it's the same janny, this is his modus operandi. he only does his job when we throw rocks at him.

[Anonymous No.15171261]

>>15170775
I've seen it happen countless times.

[Anonymous No.15171441]

>>15170775
You're just not attractive enough my friend. If a girl likes you she'll make it very obvious. If you need to think about whether she likes, she doesn't like you. And no I'm not attractive enough for that happen for me. It's happened to plenty of my good looking friends though.

[Anonymous No.15171473]

>>15170983
>The brain is a muscle like all the other muscles in your body
audible chuckle

[Anonymous No.15171475]

>>15170775
If a woman wants to ask me she can. I do genuinely dislike many people though so it depends on who she is. I do regret being unkind to some people and not being worse to others. I have severe memory issues which makes me think I might have a mental problem.

[Anonymous No.15171519]

>>15171473
Look up brain plasticity. You might learn a thing or two

[Anonymous No.15171533]

>>15171519
I know, it's just the thing about the brain being a muscle caught me off guard

[Anonymous No.15172600]

Bump

[Anonymous No.15172683]

>>15171519
>>15171533
tfw had a brainblast and fractured my skull

[Anonymous No.15173216]

the soul is real and I have let mine die

is it possible to know this is true without a soul left inside?

[Anonymous No.15173223]

Any good books dealing with impotency in a man?
(I'm treating this thread as /sqt/ rn)

[Anonymous No.15173232]

>>15173223
its over

[Anonymous No.15173246]

The Dog

my life is a orange zeithban

[Anonymous No.15173247]

>>15173216
Your soul regrows over time in this life and you continuously choose to give it away hoping to mix it with alchemical elements of the great Other to produce greater mixtures on the dice table of God. No, you may kill it all you like, over and over again, it will come back daily as it always ever will.

[Anonymous No.15173250]

>>15173232
what's over? does the book actually discuss male impotency? it doesn't seem so from the goodreads rundown

[Anonymous No.15173256]

my novel is up to 51,000 words with a beginning and an end. my last attempt at a novel died around 30,000. i'm happier with this one, i'm writing better characters than i ever have before, but it still feels far from publishable, and the closer i get to being able to entertain publishing the less appealing the whole thing seems.

[Anonymous No.15173275]

>>15173247
Why can't I regain enough soul in this daily renewal to reach critical mass? I must be a murderer every day if what you say is true. I guess it's not unlikely.

[Anonymous No.15173300]

O God, you are most worthy the highest of all I have never dreamed nor will I ever hope to dream of you. You are the height and the pyramid, the lust and the waiting, all highs and lows dissolve with your everlasting glory. Your glory is a nothingness of the best of all invention, all science is a vehicle to you and your creation, we ourselves. We are here today and never tomorrow, I live as one who knows not what he writes but prays for clarity and pure spirit, to cleanse the backwash of inertia which spoils my forward boldness. God prithee you take my focus, you take my dream of you that you've given me, and deliver it to the zenith's burning fire. A holy wreath of golden fire circles your highest, God, a shining sun's pure torch lights the way to you Lord on high. Prithee you show me a beacon of your infinity, you lay me down to rest in the industry of my science. For on the most high can I find peace with you, for never whence you came down to find me in the wretchedness I consume did I think of you, and the infinity of your mercy did go spoiled in that state of mine. I dream my words to you, they are kept above my head, your excellence is admirable and it at once goes unchanged by my praise. I know little of for what I pray.

[Anonymous No.15173465]

pages and pages and pages and pages and pages of shit
can you be taught to express yourself
or is that just learning to express someone else

[Anonymous No.15173962]

>>15173223
Maybe consider visiting sex therapist

[Anonymous No.15173965]

My boss called me out on our Zoom meeting yesterday, in front of all my coworkers, for being a fuck up. It really ruined my day. I think she's gonna do it again today.

[Anonymous No.15173973]

>>15173256
Getting published by a publishing house is resoundingly difficult. You can always self publish.

[Anonymous No.15173977]

>>15173965
Are you a fuck up? No? Then fight back my man.

[Anonymous No.15173987]

>>15173977
Yeah I'm a bit of a fuck up. I'm going to get laid off soon anyway. Still was a dick move calling me out.

[Anonymous No.15174162]

Is Peloponnesian War by Kagan a translation of Thucydides or am I retarded??? In my defense I haven't slept in two days.

[Anonymous No.15174172]

>>15174162
It is not a translation, no

[Anonymous No.15174186]

>>15174172
Thanks anon, on the verge of taking the plunge with the Greeks, wish me luck!

[Anonymous No.15174190]

>>15174186
Good luck, anon!

[Anonymous No.15174191]

I really need to restructure a part of my book, but I have no idea what I want to happen instead. I know the feeling and concepts I need to invoke, but the actions to get there are so difficult to grasp at. Writing a book is fucking hard, why did nobody tell me this?

[Anonymous No.15174550]

I want to eat her hairy arthoe pussy.

[Anonymous No.15174559]

>>15174550
too based

[Anonymous No.15174580]

I read long books a lot. But recently I feel like I'm missing out on a lot of things I want to read because I'm reading these massive novels for a month or so. Oh well.

[Anonymous No.15174654]

I have massive anxiety over the fact that ill have to move out of parents place and start to truly experience harsh reality. I think i need to drink to calm myself down.

[Anonymous No.15174742]

>>15174550
Hows does shaved pits scream art hoe to you?

[Anonymous No.15174923]

I was born and cut to fit a world where I'd live a life designed to be inhuman, to live a life of ignorance, greed, lust, apathy. I ponder on modern bodies, wondering why I would marry them, wondering why I'm still with them. My girlfriends were molded into the same system as I, yet I blame them for not being a human like I thought I was even though I'm not.

Right now it's not certain that my way of life can continue on in this comfortable anxiety. This is what I've always hoped for. Unease to push me, to force me out of this cradle. I've made a large jump before, abandoning my family and friends to become a slave somewhere beautiful, but now I need to make another jump.
What's it like to be an ascetic? To be one with the natural world, to reject this modern world I was cut into?

[Anonymous No.15175016]

>>15174742
It's the haircut

[Anonymous No.15175057]

>>15174923
Well now that is an interesting question. I have dwelled on the subject matter myself if I do say so, the solution is simple you have done the jump once correct? Now you got to decide you either stay in this world and start learning different hidden knowledge and start changing your subconscious and start following your soul guided by a long lost human race, which unironically was completely different than us more powerful more complete and more utopic on the inside or you can find a traditional girl fall in love with her learn how to live in the wild and go take a nice house in the perfect spot in the middle of nowhere and live there. Also protip find a steady income or save up a lot of money your kids will probably want to go to the city and see it when they get back disappointed you can always make a big family group.
I have chosen my path and its the first one I do feel like I have done the 2nd one in a previous life it was fine but it did not complete me.

[Anonymous No.15175114]

>>15174923
>>15175057
This person Stuart Wilde will help you. He is no longer part of this plane but who cares. The creators of the words you use are not here either. If you choose the first step, if you choose the second one I cannot help you enough.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5XE4VwDBQk&list=LLG50k1cvToJqDlG4nSBnXdA&index=9&t=0s

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=living+in+the+wild+alone
these guys and gals can I guess

[Anonymous No.15175305]

BORN TO DIVE
SEA IS A FUCK
Trap Em All 1989
I am fish man
410,757,864,530 DEAD CRABS

[Anonymous No.15175443]

>>15169703
Why don't you post one of your paintings?

[Anonymous No.15175466]

>>15170434
You need to become the best version of yourself, not of Nietzsche. Also, this: >>15166214

[Anonymous No.15175536]

sancho.. easy on the panza

[Anonymous No.15175550]

i am longing for those late spring/early summer afternoons where the sky is clear, the bedroom window is open halfway and sunlight forms a slotted pattern on the quilt as it filters through the blinds, a light breeze ruffles the curtains every so often, and the doves call out from the trees by my apartment. nothing is cozier. i live next to an active construction site right now though, so i may be missing out on that experience this year, which makes me want to blow my brains out. something about hearing doves cooing to one another feels so homey.

[Anonymous No.15175804]

>>15173962
c'mon, it's an interesting topic to cover.
I imagine plenty books must exist dealing with it from times well before such therapists existed.

[Anonymous No.15175811]

>>15171181
You are a faggot, and not even a poetic one like >>15163270. You're feeling like this because you thought you rejected her and in the end it was she that rejected you.

[Anonymous No.15175819]

>>15175804
i mean it's interesting to read theory, some patient cases and maybe an exercise or two but in the end you have an unique case which requires unique treatment.

[Anonymous No.15175858]

>>15175819
I'm not looking for a therapeutic book.
I just thought it's an interesting literary topic and I'm searching for books dealing with it (bonus points if 19th century or older).
something that may include the effects on self esteem, relationship etc.
for some reason I was thinking a Russian author might have inquired it when I posted.

[Anonymous No.15175871]

>>15175858
oh, sorry. It's "dealing with" that made people misinterpret my post, I see.
By dealing with I only meant having as a predominant topic (or not necessarily the main one).

[Anonymous No.15175879]

>>15175858
>>15175871
oh i see, my apologies.

[Anonymous No.15175922]

>>15175858
>>15175871
If you think about it, there's nothing worse for a materialist than not being able to feel the pleasures of the flesh. A story with a guy who just live for the moment and then finds himself unable to get his dick hard would make a interesting setting for moral evaluation.

[Anonymous No.15176006]

>>15175922
exactly

[Anonymous No.15176016]

>americans are obese and retarded
>??? coof happens
>close the gyms, close the libraries
>2 months now and ongoing
incredible.

[Anonymous No.15176081]

I knew this guy years back in university. He didn't seem to be close with anyone, but he was always on good terms with everyone and would often show up in unexpected groups. People would always say that he was "super into reading" matter of factly. Like if he missed an important event or something, people would say that he must have been off reading somewhere because that's just what he did.

He never wanted to talk about books, though. He was uncomfortable talking about anything other than schoolwork and baseball. On a few separate occasions, I tried to ask what his favorite books were, or if he had any recommendations, or if he had read anything interesting recently. And his answer for everything was always "The Brothers Karamazov," but he would say it like it was some kind of mystical text beyond my comprehension. He also had trouble pronouncing it. He would stutter "K-k-k" then jumble the rest of the word together so it sounded like "rmmmzoff." Part of me wonders if he ever even read it. Anyway, he joined the Navy after dropping out of school and we never heard from him again.

[Anonymous No.15176325]

I saw a mother duck quacking for her baby duckling today. However, the duckling fell through grates onto dry part inside concrete drain.

[Anonymous No.15176473]

>pandemic is a new experience for everyone
>article comes out "here's how to cope with it"

I have the same authority to write that damn article. Cope with something that this generation hasn't experienced. Please fucking tell me. I'm dying to know.

And there are things like "oh I don't know when we will be able to go on vacation again, OR IF THERE WILL BE A VACATION"

what the fuck

[Anonymous No.15176483]

>>15176016
epic

[Anonymous No.15176533]

I've been trying to put together an comedy animation pilot, but I'm bad at writing so everything just ends up falling apart. For /ic/, there's Keys To Drawing or Loomis, but what does one read for /lit/? I try to write funny stories with my characters, but my brain can't put the shit together in a way that makes sense.

[Anonymous No.15176535]

>>15176473
It's all a form of escape. For the first time in many peoples lives they are facing a certain death, hovering in front of their faces. Sure it's a low mortality rate but the percentage of "high risk" individuals is certainly in the hundreds of millions. The realness of mortality is, for the first time in their lives, shining a light in their face. How else should they react? As you said, nobody has any authority to determine, including you and I. Some cope by mentally retreating, clinging on to happy times: vacations, parties, going to bars, hanging out with friends, a stroll on the beach. Others cling to some idea of saintness: helping others, offering service, giving oneself up. I'm not saying that's what these shitty clickbait articles are doing but it certainly is just another way to cope with, what is for many, the creeping, looming threat of death.

Even without it, it's still all around us. We're more isolated than ever, in an age where we were already mentally isolated to begin with. Being locked in from the outside world, with death lurking around every corner, many people are, for the first times in their existence, being force to grapple with the fact of their own mortality. Whether corona has anything to do with it or not, it's here, and always has been. Many have known this, so it's no surprise. But for many more, it's new. It's an unwelcome invader. And they're staring it in the face at a time when churches, schools, copes or distractions are all closed. It's just them, and death. Same as it ever was.

[Anonymous No.15176687]

What is the point of speaking to other people? Every time i try to talk about my deepest fears and worries, when i unload things that have given me panic attacks and have left me crying in the corner of my room they look at me with the same emotion and understanding in their eyes as if I'm complaining that someone cut in line in front of me. Fuck it I'm definitely guilty of doing the same as well. What's the point of sharing when you will never be able to express your emotions with words in a way that will make the other person feel the same things you felt?

[Anonymous No.15176758]

>>15176687
The point is to feel their company, their friendship, and their perspective of things. You cannot expect them to be professional psychologists, right? It's challenging to put emotions into words. That's why communication is often frustrating and literature such an estimated art. All of my friends could describe a panic attack, but each would tell a different story. Feeling truly understood, finding true friends, that is rare in a lifetime. Cherish it, when it happens, when it develops over time.

[Anonymous No.15176939]

>>15176687
Dont spill yer beans to casuals.

[Anonymous No.15177145]

A spasm of mistrust twinged in the pit of my stomach every time I glanced at his face. A face which always wore a greasy smile, gold-rimmed half-moon spectacles, and a mass of wiry facial hair. He reminded me of a trained bear stuffed into a tailored suit. And he was always overdressed for the occasion. In this case, a meeting regarding the transfer to him of a mining claim.

"Is it ready?" he growled.
"Nearly. I just need your signature."
He sidled away from the window and leaned over the desk.
"Where?" he snorted.
"Just here to sign and initial here."
As he leaned over to sign he looked up at me.
"I suppose you think you're getting a good deal on this, do you?"
I didn't answer.
"That's just as well", he smiled and signed the paper.

He had only begun to rise from his stooped position when the door burst open, shattering the glass which had embossed "D.E. Lawrence & Co."

"Maxwell!" A man shouted as he entered wielding a double-barreled shotgun.
The bear of a man was stunned momentarily by the voice and he did not move.
"I got you now!" the man shouted again as he took aim at his paralyzed quarry.

[Anonymous No.15177272]

>>15175811
>not even a poetic one
Why would I want to be poetic? Are you gay or something? Kys retard lmao

[Anonymous No.15177305]

What is it that draws my soul to the archaic, even in modest items such as boots or furniture? What do I see in it? Why do I like the old and outdated methods more and swear by them in a machine world thriving on progress when everything I have learned points in the opposite direction? Why can't I just be normal?

[Anonymous No.15177423]

would be nice to do something satisfying for work. i wish things were simpler. maybe im a simple retarded guy but i think i'd be happy doing some kind of artisan trade. real masonry (not fascade brick laying), real carpenty (not framing), etc. they always say "go into the trades" but the trades have been brutalized into such shitty occupations because of the need for cheap housing. that being said i do a bunch of unsatisfying admin work. its just a neverending barrage of the same tasks. fix this account, fill in this paperwork, accept payments, etc. you do so much clicking that every missclick will send me into a rage. there is nothing to show for my work. there is no beginning or end. pure monotony.

[Anonymous No.15177441]

>>15173973
this is what i hear and i don't doubt there is truth in it but one could also say writing a novel is resoundingly difficult.

[Anonymous No.15177458]

My "I haven't seen a girl that's into me" timer reset on Sunday.

I stumbled upon her while she was hiking with her dad and brother. I don't know if they live somewhere close. First time I see them. Her brother was kinda distrustful towards me.

They were resting on top of a hill and I came sprinting like a madman from the other side. She smiled once she saw me and all the way through our interaction. It was nice. I should've been more open, but I had some internal struggle I tried to get rid off with my sprints.

[Anonymous No.15177525]

>>15177305
Nothing wrong with that. You can make a decent money if you're good with crafts.

[Anonymous No.15177570]

>>15177423
That's why I quit a decent paying job in finance; barely above minimum wage now, but doing something more fulfilling led to a massive increase in my QoL
It's a very common problem rn, especially with the 20s-early 30s brigade

[Anonymous No.15177592]

>>15177570
what're you doing?

i'm doing the opposite route. trying to get into a high paying position, amassing money and fire-ing as soon as possible to get out of the rat race

[Anonymous No.15177652]

>>15177570
hey i did this too. quit my finance job and worked manual labor (construction) for a big pay cut and was so happy. problem is my loan payments didnt stop. so i ended up back in a finance position kek.

[Anonymous No.15177688]

I've spent so long throwing myself at the brick wall that is trying to succeed socially, to have "social skills".

People talk about social skills as this objective thing, but who decides what qualifies as good social skills?
...people with good social skills. It's recursive. And trying to adjust myself to that just makes me feel like I'm prostrating to people who would never accept my presence anyway.

[Anonymous No.15177717]

>>15177592
I'd focus on looking for roles where you make peoples lives better or more enjoyable, instead of a position where you are concerned with their bank balance
The job I left had a lot of staring at screens and occasionally having someone call you to either try to dodge taxes or moan about their own poor choices.
I was lucky enough to be able to live at home for a few months near the end to save up a bit of cash

>>15177652
I'm glad I don't have to deal with american student loans, they sound awful
Can construction have a pretty high pay ceiling if you play it right? Stuff like crane operating is fairly lucrative iirc

[Anonymous No.15177729]

>>15177717
they are truly hellish. construction can be lucrative if you stick at it for a while. it's fairly unionized so you have to get in close with them, and without knowing someone/having connections it can be hard. but yeah, once your in you can make great money with very little work.

[Anonymous No.15177753]

>>15177525
I'm not sadly.

[Anonymous No.15177825]

>>15177753
but you have the interest for it.

[Anonymous No.15177828]

>>15177717
i worked at a non-profit charity for 2 years. helping people is a meme. what i did for work was obviously helping people but you never actually feel it because it's bureaucratized and all you get is just the same tedious office politics, alienation from your coworkers, wanting your time and life back etc.

i have no interest in money except for the freedom and independence it'll provide from work.

[Anonymous No.15177851]

I'm not interested in participating in a reality already sentenced to deal with the most tyrannical hateful perverted historical evil that will dominate and defile all other forms of nature. I hold contempt for anyone who normalizes this invisible oppression of man.

[Anonymous No.15178025]

>>15173223
>>15175858
>>15175871
bůḿṕ?

[Anonymous No.15178198]

>>15177145
It's ok. A little too much telling over showing. Also the dialogue was a little strange. He growls but he also smiles. Is he friendly, or is the smile more of a sneer?

[Anonymous No.15178268]

>>15177145
It's really not bad, I think the first paragraph could be rewritten though. The "D.E. Lawrence" part was a nice touch

[Anonymous No.15178334]

>>15177851
??

[Anonymous No.15178377]

>>15178334
he's talking about corona

[Anonymous No.15178492]

>>15178198
>>15178268

In an instant, Maxwell fell to the ground. The roar of a shotgun blast shook me out of my chair and I fell behind my desk. Ears ringing, I could make out the sounds of more breaking glass.
"You stupid -", I heard a man yell. Two more loud shots followed. They were different. Smaller.
Suddenly a shriek of pain pierced the scuffling noises.
"Yeeeaaaghh!"
I mustered the courage to crawl around my desk and peer into the hallway.
Maxwell had pinned down the intruder, one hand on the ground supporting his body, the butt of a gun in its grip. The other was holding down the man's arm which still held the shotgun. Maxwell's face was out of view, buried in the man's neck.

I rose to my feet and his face came into view. Blood was streaming from his mouth and nose. Like a wolf's muzzle after a fresh kill. He opened his mouth and spat a chunk of flesh down onto the hardwood.

"Are you okay?" my voice quivered.
He stiffened and swung around.
"Do you know this man?" He asked and pointed a small revolver at me.
I looked at the corpse.
"No idea." I answered.
My hand slipped off the table and a bottle of ink crashed to the ground.
He looked away to observe spreading ink and said nothing, gun barrel still aimed at my chest. He was breathing deeply and sweating. As ink came nearer, he quickly tucked his revolver into a boot and sprang to his feet.
"Sorry for the mess." He mumbled, wiping his face on his sleeve.

[Anonymous No.15178554]

>>15173216
I think much the same things, if not in words then in tone and attitude. The truth specific to this conundrum that keeps me going is that the very questioning of whether one is good anymore is a sign one is still alive.

Many cartoons and books over the course of my life have maintained this position, which I take recourse to (admittedly more often than I should), and a lot of what I have seen of evil has given me strong evidence that they do not question their inner selves anymore.

[Anonymous No.15178630]

I feel sympathy for Trump. That's the level I'm on right now.