/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.15208364]

Books on the art of dealing with normalfags?
>inb4 how to win friends and..
that's good if you want to a salesman

[Anonymous No.15208670]

beep boop

[Anonymous No.15208678]

>>15208364
Dealing in which aspect? Social skills or understanding their mindset?

[Anonymous No.15208703]

>>15208678
kinda both, because their mindset also sets the topics of their conversationsal
i'm also interested in how "banter" works

[Anonymous No.15208737]

Culture of Critique

[Anonymous No.15208860]

>>15208703
>how "banter" works
Couldnt you just watch a couple of sitcoms to get a gist of it?

[Anonymous No.15208884]

>>15208364
I don't think people who write books are qualified to talk about normal folk. read some twitter posts or something

[Anonymous No.15208909]

The only reason you can't deal with them is that you have skin in the game and need to appease them at every step. So long as your income and standing in society depends on them, you paradoxically cannot deal with them unless you do play the role of a salesman. It is therefore of importance to no longer depend on them. The best book you can read is Berkley's SSDI books. This will allow you to have constitutionally protected income that will not go away because you said a no no. $3000 a month. That's actually "fuck you" money because the cash will always keep flowing. Then, you simply deal with them by being yourself. It doesn't matter how offensive you are or impolite to their normal sensibilities. No. You can do as you please without fear of losing a dime. I don't need you any more, sucka.

[Anonymous No.15208947]

>>15208909
What if op is set financially but is lonely and horny?

[Anonymous No.15208998]

>>15208860
i'm too low iq to analize and find patterns on my own

[Anonymous No.15209240]

>>15208703
This book is literally it. It's written by a linguistics professor and describes the underlying mechanics for why they engage in meaningless, shallow forms of speech; namely the concept of "phatic" speech that isn't necessarily a conversation (seeing how a conversation implies the transmission of substantive information), rather it is a method of stabilizing/maintaining social bonds and signalling that one is not a threat/abides by social norms.

[Anonymous No.15209317]

>>15208947
Then he should give me money and I'll show him how to eliminate horniness through simple behavioral and psychopharmacological techniques.

[Anonymous No.15209330]

>>15208364
step 1. fix your posture
step 2. get /fit/
step 3. dress appropriately
that's it, no social skills needed

[Anonymous No.15209361]

>>15209330
This isn't true, only partially. People can tell that your just a socially inept person parading around as a confident, socially competent exoskeleton; all it takes is a minute of conversation to figure that out.

[Anonymous No.15209389]

>>15209361
Where did I say to be a pretender? Just stay silent and mog everyone around you. People with superior posture are gifted with charisma

[Anonymous No.15209426]

>>15209389
But the facade intended to mog others instantly falls apart when you are called forth to engage in a social manner, you can only keep it up for so long. Eventually, you'll be discovered.
>People with superior posture are gifted with charisma
Yeah I know, it's called a "Fundamental Attribution Error." It's not foolproof, however.

[Anonymous No.15209439]

>>15209426
Getting physically fit and confident with myself improved me far beyond what good attitude and social adjustment ever did. What exactly do you propose against self improvement.

[Anonymous No.15209469]

>>15209330
that's not true at all. went through this 5 years ago, am more socially retarded than ever. The only thing that changed is I pay more attention to how everyone around me stands, dresses and look at their body more. And the only thing I notice is that everyone else around me is worse than me(in these 3 aspects) and yet they all live better lives and are normal.

[Anonymous No.15209473]

>>15209439
>What exactly do you propose against self improvement
I propose a multi-level commitment to improving every aspect, not just external appearances, but also interior systems as well. Getting physically fit can certainly boost that which is inside, but don't neglect directly refining those elements as well.

[Anonymous No.15209480]

>>15209473
What elements are you talking about? You offer nothing

[Anonymous No.15209481]

>>15209439
Maybe you weren't actually spastic and were just unhappy with your body. Like you were fat your whole life so getting fit fixed all your problems. I always had normal body so getting fit didn't change anything for me. Or maybe you're just a shallow person.

[Anonymous No.15209494]

>>15209481
Physique isn't cosmetic, it's ability. Fitness on a biological level. Confidence is about competence. I am indeed a spastic

[Anonymous No.15209517]

>>15209494
I never felt that anything related to fitness improved my social abilities at all. It's a hobby just like stamp collecting or taking care of plants.

[Anonymous No.15209560]

>>15209517
Your flesh and blood is just another hobby to you? You're a stamp to be collected

[Anonymous No.15209696]

>>15209480
>What elements are you talking about? You offer nothing
Alright, let's breakdown elements of interactional improvement
>Initiation
For starters, there is obviously the initial stage of interaction made up of phatic speech in which both parties perform this linguistic dance testing whether or not the other discussant is normal, and can fall into rhythm with the other person. This involves matching speech rate, levels of physical tension/relaxation, pitch, tone, appropriate responses to questions or statements (this includes the content, the length, the verbosity). You have to know when it's okay to interrupt (making eye contact, planting minor utterances on the back channel in order to break into the primary channel). Additionally, their needs to be an establishment of reciprocal communication and signaling that you're actually engaged (placing enabling phrases like "uh huh" or "no way" in the back channel to keep up the conversation). Don't try to launch into deep conversation with a stranger. Conversation is about a gradual escalation of depth; this could take minutes, or it could take weeks, depends on you're level of familiarity.
>Repair
If you constantly mess up during social interactions, try to analyze past evens where you messed up and approached from a humble perspective (you could always be wrong, try not to displace blame onto others immediately). During an interaction you may make mistakes, but conversations are messy and take a lot of improvisation. Becoming comfortable with that fluidity is important. If you make a mistake, say you insult someone unintentionally make sure to recognize the signals associated with it (a grimace, an eyeroll, an outburst of displeasure, a repositioning of the body away from you, arms crossing, etc.); hopefully each speaker is understanding enough to recognize the intent was not malicious.
>Maintenance
Once a bond is established it needs to be maintained as it has a half-life of sorts and will gradually decay if not attended to. Think about bonds as psychic ropes that are suspended between people, if they are not used often they decay. For example, people who have established connections during this technological age tend to message each other semi-randomly to, essentially reminding you they exist or wanting to escalate the bond to a deeper level. Maybe they'll share with you a meme, or say hi, or explain what happened that day, it's all bond upkeep. If you can recognize that, it won't seem like such a hassle to partake in.

1/2

[Anonymous No.15209776]

>Listening
This skill is very important because it enhances your ability to understand others. People like to be understood, it sort of frees them up and makes them more likely to strengthen bonds with you. You may reduce listening into this mechanical category of sensory processing, but it's more complex as it involves a decentration of the self, and empathizing with others, and a recognition of a different viewpoint.
>Stereotyped thinking
Finally, and this is more on the philosophical front, one must improve the quality of thought by straying away from atomizing the world into this unrelated categories. Instead you should begin to look at everything in a dynamic/holistic manner where everything is always changing, or has the capacity to change, nothing is static. What I mean by this is that focusing on getting /fit/ or attempting to mog people is a static goal. "If I accomplish x then I won't need y, I'll be set." This view is too simple, since there is a scaffolding of minute, compounding improvements that must be accomplished and once they are reached that doesn't mean you're good. People are complex and interactions are messy, different strategies and skills are required all the time, so it's best to change on the fly.

2/2

[Anonymous No.15209790]

>>15209330
lol

[Anonymous No.15209909]

>>15209696
>>15209776
This is good advice but really it is just autist strategising, inorganic, normols do these social rituals by intuition and not rote as the autist must. Is a man, evil by nature, yet who strives to do good by strategy a good man, or a deceiver and politician? The autist mastering his field of interest is by far superior to the half-heated striver. I advocate the eternal self mog by constant ascendance of ability according to nature, not gamification of social structure. Maybe I am confused and your example is congruent with mine anyway. I don't mean to suggest a forced becoming but a natural growth, the whale does not know of the barnacle for which he is substrate like the autist cannot know of the socially ordinary, yet both are in harmony

[Anonymous No.15209924]

>>15208364
>dealing with normalfags
Why would you want to?
Isn't this like asking how to survive boiling your own hand?
Like, interesting maybe, but why?

[Anonymous No.15209939]

>>15209330
"I drive"

[Anonymous No.15209951]

>>15209939

[Anonymous No.15209968]

>>15209469
You are now ready for Phase 2. You must amass the requisite activation energy for chrysalis

[Anonymous No.15210055]

>>15208947
Then he's normal.

[Anonymous No.15210077]

>>15209909
>it is just autist strategising, inorganic
Yeah, but if you're not intuitively competent you might as well compensate by becoming intellectually competent.
>I advocate the eternal self mog by constant ascendance of ability according to nature, not gamification of social structure. Maybe I am confused and your example is congruent with mine anyway.
Were saying essentially the same thing because an "eternal self mog" is just advocacy for cyclical self improvement where once one goal object is pursued, then achieved, a person usually is only momentarily satisfied until the desire a new, higher order goal object. The gamification of social structure is important insofar as understanding the underlying mechanics reduces the disappointment/anxiety one might feel when failing to improve becomes understanding the metagame accelerates the learning process.

[Anonymous No.15210110]

>>15209330
Op here, i'm already a /fit/izen with good posture and normal dressing.
I just don't know what to talk about with other human beings.

[Anonymous No.15210136]

>>15210110
Why not just study what normal people are into and then see if you can stomach any of it. If you can, then try to engage with the social world.

[Anonymous No.15210152]

heart based consciousness>>>>>> head based
Once you're consciously grounded in the present you dont think what to do but naturally do well. You read the social situation based off energy and influence normies based on your inner field.
If you have a potent field like many cult leaders/gurus normies will gravitate towards you like flies to a lamp post because only then they feel something real since most dont cultivate inner reality and everyone just wants to feel better than they currently are.
People do no connect with minds but by heart as it has inherit superior repeatability and understanding.
Now if you want to manipulate people you want to filter it through their system of values/identity(ego) so its relatable to them or brute force it through popular egregores of the time(for example in middle ages religion or anti racism now).
You can also subvert their values and bring under your frame of reality if you have a strong sense of your own reality.
Robert Green book 48 laws of power should be common sense really.

[Anonymous No.15210192]

>>15210077
I think we disagree in the conscious application of attainment, like Faust, I find to be forced... the greatest life to me is like the wild man, natural genius uncaring what is ordinary to others
>>15210110
Trick is finding others you can mutually understand, you will know it instantly when you find them. People who enjoy being around you. I found my greatest friends in uncommon work and hobbies like mountaineering or rowing

[Anonymous No.15210266]

>>15208364
You need a tard wrangler OP, not a book.

[eLIT !!+yp8kR80iN5 No.15210297]

>>15209240
knowing why =/= knowing how.
This is academic knowledge on phatic speech.
This guy (us, you, me) need to know how to start a convo with a normie.

[Anonymous No.15210387]

>>15208364
Tolstoy and just practise being around them.

[Anonymous No.15210413]

>>15209696
>initial stage of interaction made up of phatic speech in which both parties perform this linguistic dance testing whether or not the other discussant is normal, and can fall into rhythm with the other person
I need to learn this, i always fail the normal testing because i have noting in common with nromalfags. I don't have common life experiences and i don't even consume the same media they do (movies, tv series, music, youtube channels, video games). I'm also constantly over thinking things instead of agreeing with "common knowledge" or stereotypes, i go with the autistic "but actually..."

[Anonymous No.15210521]

>>15210266
tranny detected

[Anonymous No.15210818]

>>15210192
Well conscious application of attainment is not sustainable anyway, it's too mentally taxing. Presumably, attainment strategies are conscious initially, but over time you establish such a sophisticated knowledge basis that you can transition into automated/intuitive action. If you look a epistemological development, you'll see that people explore/interact with the world, the world responds, knowledge is abstracted onto a structure, and then each subsequent interaction builds upon that structure. Now the initial build up is slow, but through experience these structures becomes more complex, accounting for more varied scenarios, which allows for less thinking since all new information slots into pre-existing knowledge. Visually, this progression would look similar to a logarithmic curve; eventually you'll become "the wild man."
>>15210297
>knowing why =/= knowing how.
I know, but understanding the why can accelerate the how, although field experience and abstracting what you observe into a mode of behavior
>>15210413
>I'm also constantly over thinking things instead of agreeing with "common knowledge" or stereotypes, i go with the autistic "but actually..."
Same, I've been trying to cut down on that so conversations don't devolve into pedantry.

[Anonymous No.15211938]

bump

[Anonymous No.15213523]

>>15210152
What a crank