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/lit/ - Literature

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15650248 No.15650248 [Reply] [Original]

I'm a schizo. I take my meds. I want to write about what it's like to be a schizo.

My problem is that I can't show this to anyone in my life.

My psychiatrist hasn't locked me away in an institution because he knows I can effectively lie to him about my psychosis. My therapist hasn't figured out that I'm withholding, but he's also out of the picture.

My friends would be disturbed by how pathological my thoughts are so they're also out of the picture.

Instead, I have 4chan. You fine human beings (and you're loved and worthy of respect whether you believe it or not) are all I have here.

What aspects of the schizo experience do you want to hear about?

>> No.15650253

why are you posting this a second time?

>> No.15650256

>>15650248
what’s a schizo

>> No.15650261

are those the Union jordans?

>> No.15650564

>>15650248
I'm all ears. Post whatever you got.

>> No.15650581

>>15650253
hes a schizo right? this is the kind of crazy stuff he gets up to

>> No.15650638

>>15650248
I would to read your unfiltered, stream of conscious thoughts. I want to fully get into your head and see what the though process is like for a schizo first hand. I would unironically pay to read a book that does this well and accurately.

>> No.15650695

>>15650248
Your problem reminds me of the book Veronica Decides To Die.
IIRC the author was suicidal and wanted to write about it, but didn't want those close to him to know. Instead he wrote about another real person who was suicidal, since it was basically the same thing.

What I'm saying here is, just write the book "about a friend" but use a real person to make it a better cover.

>> No.15650703

Read Book III Republic - mentals, idiots, fatasses, retards= no more. Natural fucking selection and eugenics. Removed from fucking earth and the gene pool. By fire or bullet.

>> No.15650705

there is no psychiatrist or therapist, don’t fall into his schizo is trap!

>> No.15650709

>>15650248
Do you have a girlfriend? What's your history with the opposite gender?

>> No.15650713

Just type whatever comes to mind unironically. A whole book in the style, please.

>> No.15650797

>>15650248
What were the first warning signs?

>> No.15650906

Crash Bandiweed x)

>> No.15651184

dumb schizo come and reply to your own thread

>> No.15651201

Guys, please PLEASE keep the discussion on topic to LITARATURE. None of this shitty plebb*it tier "humor". It isn't funny, we need to prove we are actually intelligent. Stop posting these shitty memes and post clever, thought provoking content

>> No.15651371

>>15651201
>we need to prove we are actually intelligent
Why and to whom?

>> No.15651379

>>15651201
kys schizo

>> No.15651641

>>15651201
u are bigbget

>> No.15651808

I want to read about you going off your drugs, Mr. Fellow-Schizo.
Only if you come close to unrectifiablr self destruction should you seek help again.
A psychiatrist helping a schizo is an oxymoron, you and I both know this.

>> No.15651861

Is there a relationship between anonymously posting online and your schizophrenia?

>> No.15652960

>>15650256
this

>> No.15653015

>>15650256
>>15652960
Someone with Schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, bipolar disorder or psychosis.

>> No.15653061

>>15653015
I dont understand and wikipedia is too complicated. Its like you hear voices and cia wants to kill you???

>> No.15653105

>>15650248
In 19th century's France (and probably elsewhere), a part of the fantastic genre took interest in madness and created a hero type, "l'halluciné raisonnant", or "reasoning madman", which was someone observing, and clinically studying its own descent into madness.

Now, this was done from an outsider perspective, with little knowledge, and most of the time with the disruption of fantastical elements.
I would love to read it from someone touched by schizophrenia today. The path, step by step, of a fall into a delirious/dissociative episode, described by the same person struggling with it.

Other than that, I'd like to know about late teenager/ early adult years, and how the specific issues of schizophrenia intertwin with the normal questioning and struggles of these formative years.

Finally, since you mentionned it, I feel that an important part should be given to medication and its hardly avoidable side effects: surely, reading the list of what neuroleptics can do to you, or talking with other people who have taken them, one must be scared. And if/once they appear, provided the medication proves otherwise effective, how does one feel, what does one think? There's an interesting dilemma here.

I would read a novel about that.

>> No.15653128

>>15653061
Yes, Delusions and hallucinations. The CIA doesn't actually want to kill you but you might believe that they do. And aliens are stealing your thoughts. The nearby statue is telling you to jump in the river to save the world.
You have to kill your dad because he's a evil demon who is mind controlling the world. Trump is the reincarnation of the sun king and issues commands to you in the speeches he makes. Stuff like that.

>> No.15653175

Do online comment replies to yourself as a device, as a parallel to DFW-ian footnotes

>> No.15653180

>>15653061
It's more like "Most nearly in consonance with the Order of the World were those miracles which were somehow connected with a process of unmanning to be carried out on my body. To them belonged especially the various changes in my sex organ: several time (particularly in bed) there were marked indications of an actual retraction of the male organ; frequently however, particularly when mainly impure rays were involved, of a softening approaching almost complete dissolution; further the removal by miracles of single hairs from my beard and particularly my mustache; finally a change in my whole stature (diminution of body size) -- probably due to a contraction of the vertebrae and possibily of my thight bones. The last-mentioned miracle which emanated from the lower God (Ariman), was always accompanied by him with the announcement "I wonder whether to make you somewhat smaller"; I myself had the impression that my body had become smaller by about 6-8 cms., that is to say approximating the size of the female body"

>> No.15653208

>>15653128
Is it something your born with or you grow into? Can feral humans devolop this?

>> No.15653265

>>15653208
As far as I know, risk factors do involve genetic vulnerability, but also environmental instability, and substance abuse. That being said, the exact causes haven't yet been pinpointed on a biological level.

>> No.15653283

>>15653208
Onset is normally in the 20s but some kids do have it. If someone in your family has it your more likely to have it but its not completely genetic since only 50% of identical twins will have it if there twin has it.
Dont know if feral humans can develop it but in the book the bicameral mind (I haven't read it) it theorized that most people 3000 years ago was schizophrenic getting commands from a hallucinated god.
Hard to know if you can have it if you havent learned a language.

>> No.15653334

Thoughts on the Outcomes Paradox?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Outcomes_paradox
Basically with schizophrenia, it posits that the outcomes of patients are better in the third world than in more developed countries.

>> No.15653465

May I ask a fellow, why you told your psychiatrist you have paranoid tendencies when necessarily the psychiatrist too should be included in these paranoias? The question: “Are you paranoid about people whispering about and conniving against you?” must include the person asking! It is a question you only ever could have answered with “No.” (as I have). You can tell them that you have hallucinations, like hearing gunshots or believing birds track you which might lead them to prupose you have schizophrenia without the defining characteristic.
Wasn’t this the case for you?
>>15653283
Read Wittgenstein. Of course you can be comanded without language. You perhaps don’t yet think of certain commands as actually being language.

>> No.15653508

>>15650248
>My psychiatrist hasn't locked me away in an institution because he knows I can effectively lie to him about my psychosis
As in he knows you’re lying to him?

And as for your therapist, as long as you don’t communicate anything about child/elder abuse or plans of harming another person (google this first to be certain, I forget the specifics) then you can by definition be an open book with a therapist and they will legally be bound closed (in the US anyway).

>> No.15653554
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15653554

I think I might be having something wrong with my head. Whenever I smoke weed my brain feels like it’s shrinking literally. I’m constantly whirling around and scared to not know what’s behind me. I always talk to myself in private or in my head but now I’m not ashamed to do it publicly. I’ve stopped smoking weed for the last three months but something is still wrong. Should I go to a psychiatrist? I hear they are a meme. I also can’t listen to music with words anymore, only classical or OST’s. I’m 21 and I’m a mullato. /pol/ told me that it could be a genetic illness due to me being interracial and that this is the beginning. If this is true then no modern day doctors would actually help me since they wouldn’t believe in that. And to make things even worse, I’ve always had identity issues but with the recent BLM stuff going on it’s gotten ten times worse. What do I do /lit/

>> No.15653564

>>15653508
It’s all dependent on the therapist, elliot rodgers decided to inform his parents instead and didn’t call the police

>> No.15653579

>>15653283
Don’t want to make this a religious debate but the entire history involving biblical times seems too suspicious to just chalk it up to crazy people. I like the rh negative theory better

>> No.15653599

>>15650638
Anything Nietszche

>> No.15653649

This is an interesting theory, I think parts of it are off, but it approaches a framework that I do think is there to be explored regarding schizophrenia spectrum and autism spectrum conditions.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imprinting_(psychology)
>>15653564
In the US if you have already murdered a person and tell a therapist, they are bound by confidentiality. There are still things that they are required to report like >>15653508 mentioned but doctor-patient confidentiality is a real thing.
>>15653599
Nietzsche is cool but keep in mind that reading him in the midst of an episode may be something better left for another time
>>15653554
>scared to not know what’s behind me
I’m this way 75% of the time, especially if I have earbuds on.

>> No.15653807

>>15653649
>scared to not know what’s behind me
>I’m this way 75% of the time, especially if I have earbuds on

How bad is it for you? Do you act on the urge to turn around or look over your shoulder?

>> No.15653958 [DELETED] 

>>15653807
I do it almost every time, I’m afraid of what I don’t know (in a selective way apparently), a lot of it comes from snap judgements of others around me or just a feeling or a question of an idea I create. I have little impulse control though and for me that causes me to double triple quadruple basically every question I ever have about what I’m doing even though I understand by the larger pattern of my behavior that this is likely irrational.

>> No.15653973

>>15653807
I do it almost every time, I’m afraid of what I don’t know (in a selective way apparently), a lot of it comes from snap judgements of others around me or just a feeling or a question of an idea I create. I have little impulse control though and for me that causes me to double triple quadruple check basically every question I ever have about what I’m doing even though I understand by the larger pattern of my behavior that this is likely irrational. Being at the gym, for example, is hell for me in this regard.

>> No.15654322

>>15650581
Made me chuckle (inside my head).

>> No.15655909

>>15653334
this makes sense, given how many risk factors for schizophrenia are tied to urban living.

>>15653554
/pol/ has no expertise on this and isn't worth giving credence to. weed is the problem, bringing out your latent insecurities & identity issues as well as exacerbating any schizophrenic tendencies. you've done half of what you need to by quitting weed. the other half is solving these underlying mental instabilities. explore different ways of doing this: therapy, meditation, or alternative methods. do not be afraid to seek help. something very similar happened to me because of weed. it was difficult, but i got through it, and my mental state is even stronger than it was before. if i can do it, you can. best of luck, anon.

>> No.15655922

>>15650248
is disappearing after making a post like this a classic schiz move?

>> No.15655969
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15655969

>>15650248

are you a furfag?

>> No.15655985

>>15650248
>I take my meds.
NGMI

>> No.15655996

>>15650695
the Ted Bundy method