Write What's On Your Mind

[Anonymous No.16513387]

Old one is past 300

[Anonymous No.16513425]

first for zyzz

[Anonymous No.16513441]

>>16513425
bodybuilding is super dated bro

[Anonymous No.16513516]

>>16513387
Drinking alcohol and killing my neighbors, first I'd get a couple dranks in me get in the flow zone then knock on their door as they open it I hit them in the eyes with the black spray paint once down I would tie their hands as quickly as I could with duct tape at this point the other ones in the house would probably be freaking out so I quickly deal with them maybe just glass bottle to the head or even better slash the throat with the broken glass bottle and any that are left alive we start the waterboarding BAAAAAABY YEWAAAAHH do that for about an hour then the wire torture.

They deserve it dont worry.

[Anonymous No.16513535]

The leaves are purpling above my window, cold enters through the mesh, a blanket hangs on my right shoulder and I think about food. Two unfinished books lay on the floor, my prayer mat across from them, a moneyless wallet in front of me. I can do something every day, it feels like a threat. My cat lounges like a sleepy cloud while I worry about the future. My dreams echo from the future at an undisclosed location. I am alone in bed, I need to change the sheets. An aloe plant lowers its green finger into noon light, its clay pot remains atop the dresser. I’ll remember that.

[Anonymous No.16513548]

>>16513516

[Anonymous No.16513585]

>>16513387
i love snufkin. i wish i had a balcony so i could dangle my legs off of it like this.

[Anonymous No.16513626]

Women: can't live with them, can't live without them. Until we get sexbots with artificial wombs. Jesus Christ I can't wait to live without them.

[Anonymous No.16513714]

I don't want to. I want to marinate. too much going on. hopefully I can salvage the course-work.

I guess if anything I've thought a fair amount about death lately, and what will have been worthwhile. I believe in Judgement Day and an afterlife, so the question is what to do to get a good outcome for eternity. as is I am unsure if I live up to it, but I feel I have some sense of what I'm doing, thank God.

[Anonymous No.16513814]

I think something in my innermost core deeply changed somewhen between my 16th and 19th year of age and I am not sure whether following 12 years weren't sub/psychotic experiencing.
It might be just untreated depression getting held of me again, I used to be suicidal between 21 and 26 after all.
Anyway.
I would call my prior life experience as being in a state of floww sort of. Sure there were bad emotions, good emotions, friends, ups, downs, getting butthurt and drunk and etc. but something deeply touching happend once I start having romantic relationship with my first borderline psychotic gf. Sometimes I wonder if it was a narcissistic injury or a first prodrome of depression that made me change my life-line completely. Change values, change career choices, school, became more introversion focused, melancholic, nostalgic and lastly, suicidal.
Now that I became semi-proficient in human psyche, I don't believe there could be a resolution to this, liek the neurological changes already happened and changed experiencing for me, sure there is theraphy and antidepressants and drugs and friends and money and fame and sex and girlfriends and family and whatever but sometimes it just doesn't feel real and sometimes its just brief moments of joy constituting emotions adding up to feelings and moods but something in the innermost core is different than it was before.
Anytime I am left to my thoughts I feel like shit and every now and then I write blogposts like these in here and it feels like last time I did it was two weeks back when it was two years and nothing really changed other than moving 'forward' (really tho?) in life

[Anonymous No.16513820]

Whoever came up with the idea of Onlyfans is a business mastermind . To think that all the factors of a ripe business opportunity were sitting there this whole time and it took this long for one guy to discover it.

It's brilliant in its simplicity.

Premise: Everyone wants to see hot people naked.
Execution: Therefore, incentivize and make it accessible (no brokering) for hot people to show off their junk
Conclusion: Skim 20% off the top . Get rich.
The capitalist ingenuity of the idea deserves to be studied. And the best thing of all? No new concepts or technologies are needed to implement this. It relies on established features and toolings that any mid-level engineer could develop.

[Anonymous No.16513932]

If your in a room with a schizophrenic and capable of feeling empathy how come you don't become paranoid because your empathizing with the schizophrenic?
What Im saying is I dont understand empathy. Im probably an autist. Sympathy I get but how can you actually feel what the other person is feeling? Don't you just imagine what the other person is feeling based on your prior experience?

[Anonymous No.16513976]

>>16513932
empathy doesn't mean you experience reality as the object
Also, what you are describing is called folie à deux

[Anonymous No.16513982]

Seriously, how can anyone actually enjoy anime?
The characters all act retarded, announcing every little obvious thought and intention they have.
I suspect weebs prefer watching it in the original Japanese because otherwise they would know that they are watching the Japanese equivalent of Saturday morning cartoons (and they get pissy if you point this out).
Even the "mature" ones are laughably juvenile.
No, gore and titties doesn't make it adult, it's just proof of how puerile weebs are.
Recently watched Evangelion. God that show was pretentious.
>le so horny and lonely
>le creepy crosses and angels
>2deep4u
No shut the fuck up. There's nothing deep bout this. Evangelion is just a mecha show with a Christianity coat of paint slapped haphazardly on it.

[Anonymous No.16513983]

Man this clouds outside my window are the fluffiest, happiest lil fellas I've ever seen. ^-^

[Anonymous No.16514003]

>>16513982
agree completely
Everytime I try to watch it I cringe on every 'subtle' but not so subtle sexualizing scene
Watched maybe 10 eps of EVE but that shit is fucking horrible

[Anonymous No.16514084]

>use the computer
>read about bad things in the world, see innumerable people being stupid and hateful, despair at the depravity of existence
>sit outside in the garden
>watch the red leaves fall from the oak tree and listen to the birds sing and flit around
>feel at peace
it's really become my belief that we weren't ready for the sudden growth of the internet, we lack the discipline. I hope for a neo-luddite movement that rejects the more pernicious aspects of modern communications technology.

[Anonymous No.16514107]

>>16513982
"anime" is just a form of video media, this is like asking "how can anyone actually enjoy film?" then bitching about how Nolan is a hack.

[Anonymous No.16514120]

its my birthday, ive turned 28. Despite being on the best path ive been on in many years im still a depressed lil bitch about it. OH BOINGO.

[Anonymous No.16514130]

>>16513982
azumanga daioh is p based desu

[Anonymous No.16514140]

>>16514084
while I agree 100%, I also have to admit that in this new tech-less paradise I would be at a loss

[Anonymous No.16514143]

>>16514120
it's gonna be alright anon

[Anonymous No.16514144]

Interacting with normies is starting to make me physically feel sick from how linear their thought processes are and how they don't even make internal sense

To me everything feels like
>Hi
>Hello there, welcome to the flower shop. Can I help you?
>Yes
>I... Okay... HOW can I help you?
>I want flowers
>Well, you came to the right place then... What kind of flowers do you want?
>I want flowers
>We have many different kinds. Can you be more specific?
>Goodbye.

???????? Did he want flowers or not?? Is he just insane? But they all do this, or something like it. It's always a new insane unpredictable thing every time, but the unpredictable insanity is always the same.

Was it me who did something wrong? Was I some kind of gay nerd for saying too many words or trying to embellish our interaction to make it more interesting and less robotic than [MAN REQUESTS {FLOWER}] [GIVE {FLOWER} TO MAN]? Should I suppress my natural desire to talk normally and try to understand where the person is coming from and have a complex interaction with them, and somehow force myself to become like them? Even if I decided I wanted to do that, what are they, so that I can try to become one?

Am I just trapped in this hell forever? Why does it hurt so much? Is this how humans always were or has something happened?

Why can't I disengage and not care that the inside of his mind is a confused grug with inconsistent motivations and no consideration for others?

[Anonymous No.16514145]

What is the last book i should read before ending it?

[Anonymous No.16514161]

>>16514143
Hey thanks :)

[Anonymous No.16514178]

>>16514145
The Bible, at least know what you are rejecting.

[Anonymous No.16514181]

>>16513387

With more and more frequency I can see things in my mind's eye again. My degeneracy has not changed but the repair of my spirit has allowed me to use my mind as a willing tool again and begin to craft. Here and there I start to stitch together a nice piece but I stop constantly to cast my eyes on the work of others.

The lush blues and greens of my summer are ending and being replaced with new props of red and gray. The wind cuts the warmth of the sun. I drink cold beer on cold days in a jacket slightly too thin for the weather. I don't smoke cigarettes' anymore but if I did, I know that now would be the time.

I bought a fresh set of shoes yesterday, my most decadent purchase in months. They were on a huge discount and they were the second pair I tried on. Every time I put them on there is a short internal argument with myself in favor of exercising but habits aren't built on sneakers that feel good. Are they?

[Anonymous No.16514207]

>>16514144

Quit anon, and soon. Make a plan to survive a little while and quit. You need to recover, the emotional labor has clearly pushed you to burnout.

[Anonymous No.16514236]

>>16513982

Eva was the original normie filter. Sort of the Catcher in the Rye of anime, really. They are both classic bildungsroman. Either the central message hits you almost right away or it never does.

Eva is cool because it does this with incredible aestheticism and self-awareness. If you are looking for something deeper than a boy's self-development under the pressures of modern society however, you were the real retard all along.

[Anonymous No.16514242]

>>16514178
I would prefer to read some fiction before i go

[Anonymous No.16514254]

>>16514242
think about your mom anon
that's why I didn't go
I kept hearing her scream in my head as I imagined it would be when she got the news

[Anonymous No.16514255]

I used to be someone. Used to exist. Now I just exist. I've lost about 50 IQ points probably. Now i just do nothing, day after day, and it appears it'll be that way for the foreseeable future. Life is outside of my grasp.

[Anonymous No.16514259]

>>16514255
This happens to me whenever I stop writing.

[Anonymous No.16514262]

>>16514254
My mum died a few weeks ago...

[Anonymous No.16514305]

>>16514262
damn.
the way I look at it now is completely informed by my belief in an afterlife. from this perspective life is more or less worth living by definition. my favorite book of all time is "Red Sorghum" by Mo Yan.
>Red Sorghum's plot revolves around three generations of the Shandong family between 1923 and 1976. The narrator tells the story of his family's struggles, first as distillery owners making sorghum wine and then as resistance fighters during the Second Sino-Japanese War. The novel also details civil disputes between warring Chinese groups, including rival gangs and political powers.

I hope you drag on long enough to find a reason.

[Anonymous No.16514322]

>>16513820
The man is apparently the son of a banker as well as Chad-looking. Anyway this is relevant because the idea could have only arisen within this context (a man used to getting nudes/used to being around models). It takes a specific mind within specifc technological context to create new forms that seem obvious in retrospect. If you the pieces are't there or your mind isn't tuned to the right place then you won't discover it. Theres little to be studied here because this is the case for most innovations; they rely heavily on chance.

[Anonymous No.16514324]

>>16514259

Yes I should write a novella on how i got gastritis from an unsealed packet of bacon left in my fridge and how its interfering with my alcoholism.

[Anonymous No.16514326]

>>16513982
I like visual novels a lot but never enjoyed anime, and only really liked a few manga. Not sure how to appraise that.

[Anonymous No.16514369]

>>16514305
Thank you anon, i will make it my last book.

[Anonymous No.16514429]

>>16513387
I have some friends, each of them from varying "social standings." I like them, and enjoy spending time with them. The problem is that I don't always have them to fall back on. I'm currently in a completely different city (for uni), and I'm struggling to get by with the few friends I have here. I want to make a solid group of friends, but due to spending so much time being lonely and just relying on my main friendship group, I feel like I've lost (if I ever had) any friend-making skills. I'm incredibly apprehensive, hesitant, and blunt when it comes to trying to form friendships with anyone I'm not introduced to by another friend, or if I can't immediately find something to connect with them on. It makes me overthink to such a point that I create this vivid scenarios in my head where I imagine that the few acquaintances I've made so far are actively trying to hasten my ruin. When it comes to my love life, it's just as confusing. I have eyes for girls, but I don't make any moves. I am just too apprehensive when sober; I overthink and worry to much about made up social rules in my head that I've convinced myself will ruin me if I don't follow them. And yet I can't afford (monetarily or mentally) to be drunk all the time just to give me that boost in confidence.

[Anonymous No.16514513]

my cast iron frying pan is rusting. I've let food sit in it. think it's good to eat out of?

[Anonymous No.16514543]

>>16514513
You can just scrub the rust out. That's why cast iron pans are genius, because it takes years of retarded shit like this happening for it to get damaged by its idiot user.

[Anonymous No.16514584]

Day 5 of Nofap (started on October 1). The first 4 days are torture but now I think I have the urge under control. Waiting to unload on the 7th because I read that's when your test peaks and then goes down anyways. Either that or until the end of the week.

[Anonymous No.16514587]

>>16514543
very nice thank you

[Anonymous No.16514630]

>>16514584
Godspeed anon. It will make you a better man.

[Anonymous No.16514658]

>>16514587
Don't forget to oil it after you clean it.

[Anonymous No.16514663]

guys I've improoved. I have the body I desired, work out daily & enjoy it, I have the diet I wanted, I've learned to cook and started to love eating healthy, I read close to 50 pages a day, I've cut out many distractions, stopped smoking weed daily, started waking up at six every morning, I'm doing good with uni work etc. etc. etc.
so, what now ?

also, I've noticed that the more satisfied I am with myself (with the image of myself), the weaker desire to write becomes. I used to write some 10 poems a day in my journal at times, and now I barely write a few a week if I find the time for a midnight walk or if I see something remarkable..
I'm definitely happier with the person I show others, and it's good to be able to smile at yourself, but I definitely need something more. and I can't say I have any clue what that is

[Anonymous No.16514677]

>>16514663
You've accomplished your previous goals. It's time to create new ones.

[Anonymous No.16514711]

>>16513820
isnt that just porn wtf

[Anonymous No.16514757]

>>16514711
If only. It's a bunch of thots who managed to game the system so they don't even have to fuck on camera, they just need to post some photos on their instas and then do nudes for money from their paypigs.
The Internet was supposed to free man from the tyranny of Playboy and offer endless content for free, now that we have abandoned our ideals the companies are encroaching ever more into cyberspace.
One day all porn will be locked behind a paywall because we forgot one indivisible and unrefutable truth: Information wants to be free.

[Anonymous No.16514896]

>>16514429
I swear I could I could have written that in my first years at uni. every word resonates 100%.

be certain that our experience is shared by lots and lots of people, the majority even (and I imagine that for Freshers starting uni in the age of zoom, it'll be all the worse). sure there's people in groups who seem to be enjoying themselves together while we wander by alone, and ye people have girlfriends or bands or whatnot, but what you see of those people is not necessarily what they really feel (if you think of the whole fomo thing through social media, it's literally fake images of perfection created by insecurity to foster others' insecurities - but you're just probably idealising what you don't have, in real life as well) and living of jealousy comparing yourself to others who are seemingly better, will only ever make you dissatisfied. I know you might not think that this is what you're doing, but most of your fantasies of the great things you've not managed to find are built this way. of course it's hard to avoid this, especially for those of us who have been cursed by sensitivity, but it is true that things can get better. and that doesn't necessarily mean "better" in the way you imagine it right now, it could just be a satisfied acceptance of where we already find ourselves, a revaluation of our supposed quasi-misery, some discovery that will shift our goals towards something else we hadn't even thought of. I know it's corny, but in these cases the best we can do is enjoying the moments, the little things that we've already been granted, they could be better but that can be superfluous. and read read be curious be creative, there's always something new to find, maybe the path to satisfaction isnt where you think it is, maybe it's hiding in a book you've not read yet, in a city you've not yet been to, in an activity that isn't even in your bucket list.. life's great, man. sometimes it sucks, but it wouldn't be life if it didn't

[Anonymous No.16514909]

>>16514711
Small business porn, direct to performer
The high definition recording tech had to be readily available to the budding participant's door next day delivery before this could be
possible
A mastermind in platform usage and timing

[Anonymous No.16514922]

>>16513387
SEX.

[Anonymous No.16515509]

>>16513982
Anime is enjoyable only once you accept this fact.
For this reason FLCL is the ultimate anime.
It's the only anime ever made that is aware of how stupid anime is and instead of trying to be smart goes straight into being emotionally intense,even if absolutely non-sensical at times.

[Anonymous No.16515552]

>>16514084
As a kid I balked at warnings from old folks about the dangers of the internet. The funny thing is, they were actually right, but then they also got on the internet and became even more addicted and even more poisoned than the rest of us.

[Anonymous No.16515567]

>>16514120
happy birthday brother/sister

[Anonymous No.16515573]

>>16513982
The thing I dont get is the bluntly forced archytpes that are enforced, even when its disjointed as fuck. Not that people cant fall in archtypes, but a lot of the time it feels so phone in and by the numbers, even the lines. And I say this as someone who still will tone in for one piece since ive sunk so much time into it. almost all anime have this feeling like people are playing out motions rather than characters.

[Anonymous No.16515676]

>>16513982
I'm not a big anime fan, but I've seen some of the more popular series. I agree with you generally but there is something hypnotic about anime which is both very real and not necessarily harmless. At least for me personally there is something to the exoticism of the form that is completely affectively captivating, sort of like a more mild form of pornography. I don't mean exotic in the sense that it is foreign (while that is part of the appeal, it doesn't explain why Japanese otakus exist). It is exotic in the sense that it resembles humanity but in a completely foreign, alien way. The proportions of the 'moe' faces you posted in the attached pic are deliberately infantile in a way that subconsciously appeals to that part of us that is drawn to coo over cute babies and want to protect them. But then its mixed with this vein of sexualization that triggers the part of your brain that kinda wants to fuck them. It really hooks you in on a completely affective level and I think this is why otakus and weaboos get obsessed with anime in a way that doesn't really happen with other art forms.

This is something that has fascinated me for a long time now and I've been trying to find something that articulates my feelings on this, because I've been struggling to articulate exactly what I myself mean. I'm not sure if I've done a good job of it here. For what's it worth, the affective impulses I'm describing I imagine are not universal, and that there is probably a pre-existing element of deviant sexuality that is being appealed to in order for it to resonate. I don't know - it all reminds of this time I went into one of the porn stores in Akihabara and every single inch of the store from top to bottom is plastered in hardcore pornography from posters, to DVD covers, to little video screens playing porn in the corners of the aisles. There was something overwhelming about it, but not in the way you would expect. It wasn't strictly sexual, but it was definitely hypnotic. I feel the same way watching anime, although perhaps on a less extreme level.

[Anonymous No.16515683]

>>16513982
>Getting filtered by evangelion

[Anonymous No.16515705]

>>16515676
Anime acts pretty strongly on people who are idealists with escapist tendencies, there's a sort of innocence in SoL and shows set in high school that I'll probably never have in my life again. Feeling like life is stable, people around you are intelligent, life is good, etc. are things most of us can't get in real life now, so some get it through anime or other otaku media.

[Anonymous No.16515793]

>>16514003
>Watched maybe 10 eps of EVE but that shit is fucking horrible

Incredible.

[Anonymous No.16515957]

>>16513820
Many people, i am sure, had thought of it all but disregarded becuase they thought it to be bad and beneath them.

Its just another sign, things are unraveling at the seams.

[Anonymous No.16516031]

>>16513387
I recently wanted to buy Moomins books to read to my daughter but they are very hard to find in French and the few are quite expensive.

[Anonymous No.16516217]

>>16513387
I'm thinking about walking into a cemetery and shitting my pants. With every few steps my excrement will drop lower into my trousers until it fills up where I'll pass out on some ground

[Anonymous No.16516223]

ogkd

[Anonymous No.16516428]

"You want to know something fun-
-ny? He'd take Clarisse shopping
for menswear, buy all these ex-
-pensive outfits. They'd spend hours
playing dress up; then he'd fuck
her from behind like a boy."

[Anonymous No.16516535]

>>16515705
This. After watching a lot of anime in my teens you grow up of it. However, I still watch sometimes a Slice of life show only to remember when my life was good and those nice years in highschool/colllege will never come back.

[Anonymous No.16516727]

I ate too quickly and now my tummy hurts :(

[Anonymous No.16516731]

P R E S I D E N T I A L

[Anonymous No.16516753]

>>16513387
I’ve never been more terrified than when I went to the Sahara desert for vacation once. And that's why when I named the book Dream of a Desert Night. I thought maybe I should name it Dream of a Desert Nightmare. Because these sand dune- well first it was completely pitch black. I was in this cave in Texas when I was a kid and the lights went out, darkest darkness I've ever seen, or not seen rather. Anyways so I can't see anything at night. Except for right above you is a million trillion stars. Just wow so many fucking stars. It's like dark-black-void-nothingness and right at the horizon , just an infinite number of stars it seems. And it's the only way you can tell that it’s the horizon at all. And that was on the night of the new moon, where there was no moon, right. On the full moon all the sand seemed, well you could see the sand now, it seemed like this black silver powder all over. Maybe like a black-blue powder. But the main reason it was so terrifying was the sandstorms, They were completely invisible at night, There was just all of a sudden a loud bulldozer-train noise and bam it's right on top of you. That’s why we couldn't travel at night, like I thought, wouldn't it be easier to travel at night, you know it's cooler, but no it was freezing, and it's easier to get warm than stay cool. So I thought we just have some jackets on or something. But no the darkness of everything, NO LIGHT, nothing but the stars, and the sandstorms, you can't see them. So well of cores we were in these caves at night, the guy would take us from cave to cave, and even if there were all good amounts of daylight left sometimes, a few times we would just have to stop for the day. He would always say ‘this good here, today we not go, the next cave is tomorrow.’ He said it just like that every time but he always sounded kind of sad when he said it, weird, whatever that was about. But anyways so we were in this high up cave always high up and that way, is because, because.. because the sand. Sorry almost lost my train of thought there, umm, oh yes the high up caves, the sandstorms would shift them around. I'm sorry the sand would be shifted around by the sandstorms. Yes once, on I think maybe the third or fourth day umm, or night rather, we heard that bulldozer noise and are guide shouts out ‘cover up’ So they thought us that means we need to face our face to the grounds and get in safe kind of you know um, position. So I pull my jacket of my head in that sort of halfway when it's raining. But then when the storm passed we just walked out the cave. Which I forgot to say we climbed up a bit to get in. And it was there just at ground level now, this massive sand dune that hadn't been there before. The sad thing is our guide, his name was Muhammad, he told us his cousin went missing. He said ‘that why I only use the high caves, low caves, there is too much sand’.

[Anonymous No.16516785]

>>16513982
Watch Space Dandy

[Anonymous No.16516786]

>>16516753
p gud, i even googled it to see if it was from sth

[Anonymous No.16516863]

>>16516786
its an original peace, I figured writing is just putting your day dreams in to words

[Anonymous No.16516886]

>>16513387
I think I fucked in a test and I feel like shit.

[Anonymous No.16517003]

The more your movement says "nigger," the less it can be co-opted.

[Anonymous No.16517008]

the absolute STATE of parliamentary politics and representational democracy in general

[Anonymous No.16517027]

>>16517008
Yet another argument for restoring the rightful Jacobite line into an absolute monarchy.

[Anonymous No.16517063]

>>16517027
Fuck the Jacobites we need a king Campbell at this point

[Anonymous No.16517071]

>>16513814
The Confusions of Young Törless

[Anonymous No.16517164]

>>16513387
God that was such a fucking blast to talk with you again and hear your voice and how you're doing. Made my day. Hopefully we'll get to see each other before the year is out. Before anything too unpredictable happens

[Anonymous No.16517167]

>>16517008
Well it hasn't been absolute for a while now. That may be the issue.

[Anonymous No.16517197]

i can't afford going to rehab so i invested the last spending money i have to my name to growing mushrooms to use as therapy and medication. as much as i want to be motivated to overall care and do things that are beneficial to myself, i just can't bring myself to do them. maybe i'm programmed to self-destruct, but i'd like to see if i can change that

[Anonymous No.16517384]

>>16513387
I don't know why my old familly dog didn't want to come see me today.
Went to my parents home to check out a problem on pop's car and old Betty a blonde lab was staying outside by the entrance of the garage looking at me.
I called her during my stay and talked to her. She was only looking at me wagging her tail.
I think she was scared. I don't lnow if its because I was wearing my grand pa old red lumberjack cap. Might of been the first time she saw me with it.
I was thinking about her tonight on how she is getting old and I love her. I never get to see her anymore. Next week-end I might go spend the whole week-end at mom and pop and of course play with Betty.

[Anonymous No.16517433]

>>16517384
you should, man. you wouldn't ever regret doing it.

[Anonymous No.16517599]

My grandma keeps calling me. And she says that she is praying for me. I stopped answering because she keeps asking the same question over and over again and she never stops saying that my grandpa was a good man.
I kind of feel bad that I stop responding. Got to love old people.

[Anonymous No.16517604]

Didn't expect I would finish Brothers Karamazov in a week.

Also, companies aren't willing to pay much here in central Europe - trying to find a minor programming job to do with school and the pays are horrible.

[Anonymous No.16517671]

Can we really make new friends at 25?
I used to be a complete sperg, I've improved a lot and I'm now very social, I speak to people easily, I'm fit, I read, I have conversation, but the issue is that I don't have the network. I never bothered creating it, and the people from my past don't want to hang out with me because they don't know I've changed. They don't interest me anyways.

I don't have many people to go out with, and I don't feel comfortable asking people for their phone numbers, it makes me sound desperate.
I also don't have Facebook and I intend on keeping it that way, am I doomed?

[Anonymous No.16517677]

>>16517671
Your only realistic option is hobbies man. You play any sport? Know any local open mic comedy nights? Rock climbing groups? Tae kwon doe? You can't afford to be too choosy, but these places tend to have people down to hang out.

[Anonymous No.16517696]

>>16517677
I started judo, but due to corona my club closed after 2 sessions, shit sucks.
I will start voluntering soon, maybe I can meet a few people there

[Anonymous No.16517707]

>>16516731
>tfw your high school psych teacher told you idiocracy was coming
>tfw you didn't listen

[Anonymous No.16517722]

I don't know whether to invite my father to the wedding, I'm not sure he'll even be around for it. I don't want to do the father and daughter dance or have him walk me down the aisle but he should come probably. My priest thinks he should come. Lord give me patience

[Anonymous No.16517740]

>>16517722
Do you think he's going to make a scandal? If not you should invite him

[Anonymous No.16517746]

I bought some flowers for my mother and the nice lady in the shop gave me an extra lot for free with the first genuine smile I've seen for years and wished me good luck

[Anonymous No.16517747]

I gave up having friends for over a year now. As time slides forward my disappointment in the people I meet only grows. After 6 months of no contact outside of family or colleagues, I tried to make friends again. I started from zero and put in work. What I found was disappointment and disinterest. People are boring. Conversation is Oblivion. The world has become predictable. I'm caught in a cycle of lowering expectations to find disappointment.
The worst part is I feel boring-- not because I'm convinced I am. I just can't point to a dedicated merit of attention.
"Eat shit Aki, I haven't wasted 5 years learning how to play jazz. At least I can converse about it with no prior instruction. Fuck."
Cunts are just hating on me because I'm fucking beautiful. I don't care that I'm alone anymore. My standards are high.
I don't need to live in a ""society"".
"Society" lives in me, and the eviction notice has now been posted. I found entropy. Entropy is like an old couch from the curb. And when that house is empty, I'm stripping bare nuts and ploppin my pasty asscheeks down on that comfy 'used' couch.
The best part:

I already know that shits comfy.

tl:dr
The world is pathetic. Go 1 up each other about fucking jazz. I'm getting a smooth breeze from the world burning.

[Anonymous No.16517913]

>>16517696
Yeah corona makes it hard, but at least everyone is in the same boat there

[Anonymous No.16517975]

>>16517071
what makes you write that

[Anonymous No.16518119]

Ass, titties, ass-n-titties
Ass ass titties titties, ass-n-titties
Ass, titties, ass-n-titties
Ass ass titties titties, ass-n-titties

[Anonymous No.16518139]

I just don't know anymore guys.

[Anonymous No.16518152]

>>16516753
I enjoyed that.

[Anonymous No.16518254]

shitposting myself into an early grave desu

[Anonymous No.16518340]

>woman trying to court having lost their innocance back in highschool
Why do modern women do this?

[Anonymous No.16518368]

just astonished that Trump thinks it's a good idea to play down the danger of covid. I think he thinks he's inspiring courage here, but courage is not what you want to inspire in a pandemic. this i some fetischism going on in his head.

[Anonymous No.16518516]

>>16518368
https://www.tabletmag.com/sections/news/articles/china-covid-lockdown-propaganda

[Anonymous No.16518544]

Humans are so fucking gay compared to other apex predators I am going to ask Buddha to let me be Panthera next reincarnation

[Anonymous No.16518610]

>>16518368
can you just shut up and go back to work already?

[Anonymous No.16518641]

>>16517671
>tfw can't go out and join any activities
>try to fill the void with discords
>it's all underage or irredeemable autists
I'm content with my friend group but there's something to talking to someone new. Just the freshness of it

[Anonymous No.16518666]

Went out twice with prostitutes and couldn't cum...
I'm trying to "reboot" and stop consuming porn, but I don't know if nudes from my cute online gf count as porn or not.
I week away from pornhub anyway

[Anonymous No.16518943]

>>16513387
Isn't this that nazi propaganda dude?

[Anonymous No.16518961]

>>16518368
There's nothing astonishing about it. The government knows it has failed to get the virus under control and corporate profits aren't going to make themselves. It's a death march for the working class.

[Anonymous No.16519209]

so much has happened in the last 10 days. I can only sit and watch as the days go by, they're completely out of my reach. every day I rethink "ok, how do I steer this college-life back on course? I need to do this and this and this, and I need to get back into a working mentality" but in the end all I do is watch streams and shitpost. I always knew this could be what would happen, I know I'm not the strongest mentally. I don't even know why I'm writing, I guess I just wanted to express myself. Other than that all I'm doing today is sitting in a comfy chair, watching streams and shitposting. And recalculating what i will have to do to get back on track.

[Anonymous No.16519925]

>>16513982
>Seriously, how can anyone enjoy anime?
Because of the points that >>16515676 makes about it. Anime characters and aesthetics are deliberately designed to be cute and appealing by emphasizing the traits we find to be cute, appealing, sexual, and worthy of attention. You are drawn in on every instinctual level towards these characters so much so that it doesn't matter if they are legitimately retarded and do dumb shit with no capacity for change (i.e. harems, romcoms, severely cliched shonins) or deliver lines that have been copy pasted since the early 90's. You ignore then eventually grow to like and expect a low-level rendition of human interaction because that's what the thicc tiddy cute infantile lovable-but-airheaded characters constantly repeat. There are a few works of anime that are considered art and are worthy of the title (Spirited Away, Ponyo, Ghost in the Shell) because of the effort or idea they present and comment on. Coincidentally they have less hyper-sexualized or dumbed down characters. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that most anime is the visual stimulus equivalent of jerking off to porn, holding a baby in your arms, and Saturday morning cartoons all rolled into one deeply confusing and easily consumed medium. Evangelion had effort put into it, and though it had hallmarks of the negative and addictive sides of anime it also tried and succeeded in presenting a mecha with more sub-themes than just "Big cool robot battle other big cool robot and scary big monster". Weebs are pitiable in the same way winos and trolley stop tweakers are pitiable. All three have a substance that has become the focus of their existence, and all three have very little chance of rising above it own their own.

[Anonymous No.16520010]

>>16514144
There is one thing to remember anon, when dealing with people. The 80/20 rule of Pareto states that roughly 80% of effects stem from 20% of causes. 80% of people are directed, policed, and herded around by 20%. 80% of people repeat and discuss ideas that 20% of people generate by synthesis or originate themselves. 80% of thinking is done by 20% of people. All this roughly translates to "NPC Think", which is a real phenomenon. It is true that most people are submissive, sheep-like and do not want any sort of personal responsibility. This is rooted in the tribe dynamic, which establishes authority and power in one competent cheiftan or a few competent elders who then direct and lead the tribe. Provided the leader is strong or smart enough, the tribesman will follow whatever the leader does simply because of his strength or smarts. This is quite good for a tribe because it prevents infighting and hyper-competitive nature from tearing apart a group. It isn't good when people who understand this exploit it for personal gain, which is where we are now. Most people have been indoctrinated into believing a narrow set of ideals, beliefs, cultural norms and expectations that benefit a minority over the majority. Societal dumbing down has been thoroughly established here to solidify the groupthink mentality of the masses, along with bread and circus the like of which even the Romans couldn't have imagined. Congratulations, you've seen the programming and felt a revolting shock. The source code is even more revolting. Start to look into human nature a bit more if you want to see it and start to rise above your instincts and the group will that will shackle you otherwise.

[Anonymous No.16520066]

Everyone around me is a fucking fatass. America is so disgusting in that sense, we have such an unhealthy population no wonder shit is falling apart around us. I blame a mix of personal weakness, shit food being the norm (fast food, fried food, high carb etc), and mass depression / coping. Pathetic to see, makes me sad. I try to help those around me but they don't want to listen they just want to be fat. Ridiculous. If you are fat and want to loose it, nothing but respect, but don't then not try. Thats the lamest thing you can do. Also fuck online university.

[Anonymous No.16520100]

>>16518139
How about now?

[Anonymous No.16520177]

>>16518666
Good on you for trying to stop a bad habit. If you'd like some advice on how to work past it, start up a new habit to overtake the old one. Habits are one of the most powerful tools of human behavior; you can never erase a habit once it's set in without chemical intervention. So, start up a habit that's beneficial whenever you feel the urge to jerk off. It doesn't have to be a big one. Lift something heavy with both arms three times before you start to browse your favorite fetish videos. Next day, lift something four times. Day after that, lift something five times. Keep doing that until you have that habit ingrained. At the same time, start to wean yourself slowly off porn. Limit yourself to two cooms a day, using whatever you want as material. Do it for a week. After that week, reduce the media you use to coom to just the nudes you get from your egf. This will move your sexual urges and fantasies back towards the physical body of a real woman. After a week of that, limit cooms to once a day. After a week of that, a coom every other day. Keep spacing out the cooms and increasing the lifts. Your energy will be put towards something beneficial with tangible results (lifting heavy, building muscle) instead of being blown onto tissues and cumrags. I know you can do this anon, you have the want to do it. If you ask yourself "do I really want this?" and your answer is yes, then set this as your goal. You will feel bad at first. You will fuck up. You will fail. You will reject subconsciously the idea of controlling yourself and disciplining yourself. But if your will is stronger, you will get better. Inch by inch, day by day, slowly. You will claw your mind and body back from the culture and expectations that stole it from you before you even had a chance to resist. You can do this, because you can submit yourself to the human condition and come out stronger for it. I know you can.

[Anonymous No.16520178]

Anyone else notice Butterfly is being more erratic lately? I think she's hitting a wall of depression or having a midlife crisis

[Anonymous No.16520203]

>>16520178
Butts is not getting as much attention from the sadfags of this board anymore as the novelty of interacting with a dumb commie dyke has finally started to wear off. This is a reaction to the lack of attention.

[Anonymous No.16520277]

>>16518368
if you're such a big pussy then self isolate.
why should I fuck up my life because 85 y/o diabetics don't live forever?

[Anonymous No.16520287]

>>16520100
Even less.

[Anonymous No.16520311]

>>16520177
Thanks, man. Really appreciate the words.
By the way, I managed to get my first pullup last week. This whole "improve yourself, stop watching porn" feel very reddit-ish, but it's an achievement I wanted to share with someone.

[Anonymous No.16520414]

>>16513982
he says on an anime discussion site.

[Anonymous No.16520424]

It's fitting that Trump got the virus. Trump IS the virus. Virality is the most apt descriptor of his ascent to power. And the body he infects and replicates within is the media. Just as a virus hijacks a body's cellular machinery to produce as many copies of itself as possible before destroying its host, so does Trump replicate himself in the media, creating story after story and scandal after scandal until the media is full up with images of his oversized head. The media has become like a virus-hacked RNA transcriber of a cell. Instead of producing news about the world, it has spools out these four political DNA characters endlessly T- R-U-M-P.

[Anonymous No.16520427]

>>16520424
>four
five but whatever

[Anonymous No.16520470]

>>16516753
i want to ride that ore train cross the sahara

[Anonymous No.16520484]

>>16517008
women are waiting for you to hit them and abuse them when they do this but no one does.

[Anonymous No.16520496]

>>16517722
post tits

[Anonymous No.16520518]

>>16518368
bootlicker

[Anonymous No.16520611]

>>16520518
it's a crazy time anon, but soon we can go back to not caring about politics again. it's very nearly over

[Anonymous No.16520675]

The 7 deadly sins are the wisest intellectual contribution of Christianity. There is no argument that an excess of Pride, Lust, Greed, Gluttony, Wrath, Sloth and Envy isn't utterly corrosive to one's character and constitution. I see it in myself, and we all see it in ourselves. To balance these humors is essential to being a healthy person with clarity of mind and straightness of priorities.

[Anonymous No.16520894]

>>16513982
>he has not watched the ABe masterpieces
oh boy

[Anonymous No.16520896]

>>16514144
That doesn't sound normal. Are you sure he wasn't high?

[Anonymous No.16520921]

>>16513387
I know it's wrong, but I get a sense of schadenfreude when I see things like declining white birthrates or white cucks or the like. To me, it's like, "you colonized us, now it's time to get revenge." Again, I know it's wrong to feel this way, but it's how I feel.

[Anonymous No.16520927]

>>16520311
Most people can't manage more than one pull-up in their life, anon. Including Redditors. In a few weeks you'll be doing sets of them. Be proud of your progress.
>>16520675
I agree that they are important conditions to watch out for regarding the right balance of living. Excess leads to excess: too much fertilizer leads to too many weeds in the garden, too many fried cheese curds leads to too much body fat. However, the 7 Deadlies have taken the form of idolatry and have lost the context of the original forms. They are a remnant of the Hermetic Principle of Polarity that was carried by the Gnostics, then by Christ, until years of translation, curation and purging of original canon literature, and the erosion of time reduced them to the idea of evils and sin. Remarkable that they were able to last as long they did, but nonetheless they are a reduction of what they once were. Speculating here, I imagine they would've been imparted as lessons of mental transmutation. One can change his temperament and state by changing the polarity of his mind, the same as the poles of temperature may be changed by warming or cooling. Sadness and happiness may be freely changed between by converting your mental state by force of will, similar to love and apathy, hate and joy, etc. The pole of Generosity has Greed and Charity at the extremes, the pole of Jealousy has Envy and Contentment, etc. The perceived negative halves of the poles were associated with sin and overly simplified by time and the repetition of the idea by the masses. That's my take, anyways.

[Anonymous No.16520954]

>>16520203
It was apparent from the minute she decided to be a tripfag on a Tibetan sandal-weaving forum. Typical symptoms of post-attention withdrawal.

[Anonymous No.16520974]

>>16518666
The role of porn is greatly overplayed in male ability to preform in bed. Not getting proper exercise and diet are bigger factors, biggest of all is nicotine that shit will kill your dick.

[Anonymous No.16521061]

>>16513387
>be on accutane
>sit down to read
>crippling back pain
>random nose bleed
>lips crack if i laugh too hard
>depression
This is going to be a painful few months, might have to cut back on the Flann O'Brien until I can reliably laugh without splitting my lips. Hope you lads don't have to suffer any such brutal meds

[Anonymous No.16521070]

>>16520927
Interesting take. I just viewed it as good life advice, not as a recipe for mystical self-transformation.

[Anonymous No.16521227]

I stopped drinking coffee. Feels interesting. The quality of my sleep has definitely improved but also it feels like my mental processes have slowed down. In contrast, my focus and follow-through in thinking has improved a lot. Coffee makes me scatter-brained. I'm planning to keep this up for a few more weeks and see whether or not it's worth it to pick up coffee drinking again.
Resisted temptation of buying alcohol and cigarettes (recently I moved into a college accommodation where I'm no longer restricted by my parents). This marks more than 5 months smoke and alcohol free.
I cannot emphasize with people who claim to be addicted to cigarettes or anything else for that matter. I've never felt the compulsion to smoke, even though I really like smoking and the smell doesn't really bother me (the whole experience is overwhelmingly positive if I forget about the long term effects or effects on sleep later on).
Today I finished reading Leibniz's Discourses on Metaphysics and Monadology. Was surprised to find an argument analogous to Searle's Chinese Room for why consciousness is irreducible and does not come from matter. The rest of the book was interesting albeit confusing, I think I will have to read it through again after a while. It didn't help that Leibniz was refuting Descartes' position on extension of bodies (which takes some effort to understand what it even means) and his refutation of the equation of quantity of motion and force (here I also had to put mental effort into noticing that by force he actually meant what is in modern terminology energy). The picture depicted of every monad having the universe and God reflected in it in some perspective, although not being equal to the universe was original and kind of beautifully poetic.

[Anonymous No.16521295]

my dad just told me he had a dream. we don't speak much, i was only in his room to get some rizla. he said he stood at the edge of a cliff, with a cliff opposite him, and a big drop in between. then a young lad, or man, walked past him into the canyon and fell straight down. i knew it would not be a good dream when he started. i thought, is the young man me, or him? i felt some shame, guilt, regret. it's hard not to think it was me falling into the canyon.

[Anonymous No.16521476]

Didn't drink tonight for first time in a while. The people around me are annoying me. For no reason at all. I just want to be alone. But I also crave connection. I think that's why I like posting here. It feels good to put your feelings out there. Even if no one reads it. It's still somewhat cathartic. I'm thinking of making a youtube channel where I post videos of what's going on in my life and how I feel. I got psychosis and I went through a phase of posting videos on instagram. It was just after being involuntarily sectioned so I was in the kind of energy where I thought I was in the truman show. And what I posted was pure cringe but it was still fun. Now I'm better I want to share how I feel again. The fact that no one is watching doesn't matter. It's about putting yourself out there for anyone to view. Taking ownership. I will think of it as a form of therapy, but one that is free so you don't need to waste your money. I will probably never do it (that's a good thing) but you never know. Being drunk really does solve everything. I've got to quit for good soon. But living a sober life is going to be very hard. Or very different at least. Tomorrow I will have a drink (I hope). Sleeping tonight will be difficult. I'm not looking forward to it. Fuck. I'm so bored. Back to fantasy land. Over and out

[Anonymous No.16521681]

I feel like I can’t establish meaningful relationships unless the other person is pushy enough.
I love my friends but not one them can become my SO. Every girl I’ve had sex with so far is not someone that I would like to spend the rest of my life with.
I like my job but I hate the current state of it. I also hate how in its core it goes against my goal in life. Which is living as a no one in the middle of a small town fishing and baking bread.
I have no motivation to change these two things. I can(and have done it)improve physically with exercise and mentally with books, the internet and deep study of useful subjects.
But when it comes to strangers and things that rely on someone else besides me like my status quo and people that surround me I feel powerless and unmotivated.
I’ve been considering suicide again. I’ve been feeling really angry for no reason whatsoever. I accepted the meaninglessness of life and tried to go with it, I tried religion too. I don’t know what else to do

[Anonymous No.16521682]

The old man looked back on his life and smiled. Boy, what a ride. He had lived 82 years and had nothing to show for it. No family. No friends. No meaningful career. Most of life had been lived in complete despair. And it was all his fault. He could have been happy if he'd tried. But he didn't put the work in. It was as simple as that. Still though, what a ride. It was better to have been something rather than nothing. He had existed. What could mean more than that? At least that's what he told himself. It was better than dwelling on regrets. That doesn't get you anywhere. Not that he had anywhere to go. It was all nearly over. Now was the time to prepare himself for death. He had been doing it all his life. The final disappointment. Fuck it. What have I got to lose?

[Anonymous No.16521683]

>>16520311
Chiming in to say that cultivating discipline is one of the best feelings in the world. It is worth all the pain and shittiness and failure you'll encounter at first.

[Anonymous No.16521705]

>>16513387
I want my ex to get cancer now for leaving me.

I have fucked so many women about whom I do not give a single fuck, it's just depressing.

I want my ex back.

[Anonymous No.16521712]

I'm not what I mean

[Anonymous No.16521779]

Someone please explain to me if I’m retarded or no. A huge mass is piling up. How is everything suddenly so uniform. Every question has a clear right answer. Everything happening around us has a set of feeling you should feel. Not even should, you just feel it if you’re on the red team, and almost certainly don’t if you are on the blue. Even arbitrary things. Anything has a collective response, no internal conflict, no dialogue, you just do what you have to. These collective responses sometimes crash, but they avoid meeting each other. Someone writes a text and someone else calls him a nazi. One well placed article and he’s a nazi and nothing ever can change that. Good luck if you ever met that guy and others find out. In the eyes of the masses, you will be reduced to a single label. Your ideas will never be debated. Why? Because it’s not important. Why do humans have the urge to comply so much? The lowest common denominator is the natural goal of society, and the internet removed every filter we do ever had. Complicated abstract ideas are condensed into images, sounds and words. After a while the ideas vanish but people don’t care. Something similar is happening to society. All the ideas are gone, and we are only left with objects representing them, bearing their name, but no content. Everything is simply it’s aesthetic, without depth. You wear your politics, religion, philosophy like fashion. You can subscribe to them, to a whole package, you buy into the tribe. It’s so fucking gay ngl, you can read everyone the second you guess their tribe. One of their labels. Most people only have a few, and even then, one of them is dominant. The biggest lump is the empty space. A few lumps together form thousands of human images, with some spice swimming around.

[Anonymous No.16521816]

I just wish I could think of any other way to kill time than shitposting. maybe I am addicted to screens. not chemically but de facto. my uninformed suspicion is that human beings are not supposed to live one-to-a-box. I'm supposed to kill time playing chess with an uncle or something. now I barely know my uncles. the question is how to kill time solo, and when you are too tired to read but too restless to just watch something. because shitposting always ends up being too serious, and I start getting self-important and I start arguments and get invested and take pride and all of that stuff. you can use reddit to get a stream of memes, but they will always feed you a progressive agenda. Maybe you could write poetry? Who am I kidding man, I'm just gonna forcibly start writing poetry 5 hours a day? Killing time solo, not being fed degeneracy, not being a shit-head. Video games? maybe, but they're gonna be prog too. Maybe just spam dota 2 til death, that's a life.

[Anonymous No.16521856]

>>16515567
Thanks :)

[Anonymous No.16521872]

>>16513387
traversing a mountain of grass
enjoying a mouthful of ass
that's the life I want
to know joy before I pass

[Anonymous No.16521876]

>>16521779

The ad algorithm realized that this makes money, so it will be like this from now on.

[Anonymous No.16522174]

greentext because I'm a writelet
>cousin and I are both born with some amalginations of mental illnesses (aren't we all?)
>we live in the same state and we become eachothers first friends at ages as young as 2
>continue being good good friends in our early childhood, I look forward to seeing him more than anything else
>He leads our adventures and I follow him and theres nothing more I want than to be like him
>I move away
>we continue talking online and start playing online videogames together
during this time we take different paths:
Myself:
>throughout middle and high school I'm a hermit because of autism and (actual) social anxiety
>Having no friends at an age where socialization is more important than air and water makes me depressed
>These years of isolation build on me and along with purberty change my personality
>I feel very disconnected from society and my peers, I slowly stop talking to my cousin
>I graduate highschool having hung out with other kids less than 5 times outside of school
>grow up to be subpar person in all respects (straight F's, bad face, bad personality)
Him:
>has focused on making people laugh for most of his life, gets very good at this
>builds a dominatingly strong self image
>becomes the center of social groups
>rises above all of his peers
>grows up to be excellent person, far above average (A's, truly very good looking, a person people graviate towards)

>I graduate highschool and attend the college hes at for a variety of reasons
>He's seems very happy to have his first friend back next to him
>I can't hold a conversation with him
>I can't comfortably look him in the eye
>I tell him I'll "try to talk to him"
>through a couple converations it becomes clear that while he was becoming a good person I was wasting my extreme youth
>when we talk we cover the same topics that barely friendly acquaintances would

And through a very entertaining and pathetic series of events that I want to be able to put into words some day:
>I get very high on marijuana and have a breakdown
>I do some things that make him think that I hate him and possibly make him hate me
>I know that his image of rekindling an old bond with a close friend is now next to completely shattered

[Anonymous No.16522406]

>tfw you will never be in a metal band

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22r9L8NmYk4

[Anonymous No.16522486]

>>16521061
my friend's two brothers took accutane and he claims it activated their schizophrenia. he is extremely anti accutane to the point i can hear his voice in my head telling me to at least give you this as food for thought.

be careful friend.

[Anonymous No.16522718]

>>16513387
Death scares me. Because if I die now what was the point of it all? Where's the happy ending? Countless hours wasted drooling from the mouth while watching the same shit over and over. What do I do about it? Click on the next video. Sometimes I wish for a near death experience to slingshot me back on track. When I was a kid, I could have never of imagined that life's greatest obstacle was going to be myself. Always sabotaging myself, asking what's the point of this effort when at the end of the day you will still lay in the same bed with the same fucking job. Everything will be the same only difference will be that the little happiness you got from jerkin it or getting is high is gone. The hope of one day changing my life around is still there though. The light still glows ever so dimly. No matter how deep I continue to go in my self destructive journey the light never goes out. Maybe the day it goes out will be the day I'm no longer afraid to die.

[Anonymous No.16522833]

Meditation is definitely legit.

There are higher states of awareness to be had... spacious, expansive, blissful states.

Tantric meditation works too. You can definitely experience the mysterious thing called sexual energy if you merely try.

It's sad more people aren't more aware.

[Anonymous No.16522856]

>>16521705
You sound like a piece of shit

[Anonymous No.16522939]

>>16522718
My objective in life is for my final moments in life, if I'm lucky or unlucky enough to know when my final moments are, to be filled with happiness when I reflect on all that I saw and touched and did.

But the reality is if I'm dying from old age then my brain won't be able to even conjure what the fuck the majority of my life was. And if I'm on a deathbed young, from an illness, then my final moments will be wondering what the vast expanse of time I could've lived if not for the illness would bring me.
I don't know man. Death is something else. Your brain ignores it or laughs at it when you're feeling fine, but you get into a depressive state and the threads of your mind start to unravel at the horrific idea that someday your consciousness will end. I'm hoping that deeply understanding Philosophy could help us out with this.

[Anonymous No.16523093]

>>16517008
what's this about

[Anonymous No.16523201]

>tfw time for tucker

[Anonymous No.16523209]

>>16522174
Well, if you really don't want to lose your bond with him and want the social hell to end, the first step is to stop imposing on yourself. I know exactly what you mean, so you'll know exactly what I mean when I say this: stop doing this to yourself. Stop isolating. That means socially, mentally, and personally. Stop severing ties, it only hurts you and makes you feel like shit for doing it. Second step: Fucking talk to the dude. It's painfully obvious to both of you that you have shit on your mind and aren't saying anything about it. If he is as important to you as you make him out to be, and he is as great as you make him out to be, he will be helpful and supportive of you. The only way he would hate you is if you were actively trying to alienate him and make him dislike you. Tell him what your problems are. Tell him what you've struggled through. Ask him for help. Get this shit off your chest and have him help you become a non-neurotic social person. Set aside your pride, your jealousy, and your instinct to isolate for five minutes, then level with him. I guarantee you can do it. I guarantee it'll help you much more than wallowing in your pity and sadness will. If anything, it'll be at least a change to your current state. Take it from me. I've been there, and I got myself out only after I got a bit of help. Do it today if you can, tomorrow at the latest. It's time to do something for yourself that's good for once.

[Anonymous No.16523242]

the american beatle albums are fun.

[Anonymous No.16523409]

Kinda slipping into solipsism rn but I think there’s truth to this

Humans have intellectual domain over very little. Through osmosis we acquire what are fundamental traits for the time we are born in. We bounce from home to school to work to home again. Shuffling through the same halls and rooms. The path we make everyday is all we really know. This we are experts in. The surrounding of this loop is what we can claim to know well. I know nothing of the world. I’ve no clue as to what really goes on outside my direct vicinity. The town just beside me? A complete enigma. The house opposite me? Anything could be going on there. Who knows? Maybe the world is flat. I can take others word for things but they’re taking others’ word too. Information passes through many hands and I have no way to measure how warped it’s become.
Now factor in the internet. Long ago a peasant knew how limited their existence was (materially). We now feel as though we can reach truth in any jurisdiction using the internet. We consider ourselves rational when deducing truth, so we examine the different sides, consider how those sides came to be, and pick the side most sensible. Finding truth is obvious and intuitive.
As an online youngster I oscillated between extremes a lot. There’s an unspeakable amount of raw information on the web. Because of this you can make an excellent argument for anything. People gain opinions over crumbs of data vastly distant from their loops of life. And none of it is real. There’s a swelling mill churning out indiscriminate stuff. Then our loop-limited selves pick up said stuff and say, “What is this? Surely it is something I can know. I’ll figure it out.” This is a mistake. Actually it’s nothing to us. It’s grey goop that has no function.
We desperately want to know what it is. And it’s moldable so everyone creates with it and shares it thinking they understand. It does things but wait, what does messing with each other’s pile of goo have to do with our loop? It’s mad to think this stuff matters, to engage in bickery about fundamental nonsense. If we are to act honestly we must not stray from our tightly limited loop and apprehend this for what it is in relation to that. That is to say, “This is grey goo. In no place is there a role for it in my loop. I cannot know how it works, what it is, where it came from, etc. I affirm my ignorance.”

[Anonymous No.16523422]

Kinda slipping into solipsism rn but I think there’s truth to this

Humans have intellectual domain over very little. Through osmosis we acquire what are fundamental traits for the time we are born in. We bounce from home to school to work to home again. Shuffling through the same halls and rooms. The path we make everyday is all we really know. This we are experts in. The surrounding of this loop is what we can claim to know well. I know nothing of the world. I’ve no clue as to what really goes on outside my direct vicinity. The town just beside me? A complete enigma. The house opposite me? Anything could be going on there. Who knows? Maybe the world is flat. I can take others word for things but they’re taking others’ word too. Information passes through many hands and I have no way to measure how warped it’s become.
Now factor in the internet. Long ago a peasant knew how limited their existence was (materially). We now feel as though we can reach truth in any jurisdiction using the internet. We consider ourselves rational when deducing truth, so we examine the different sides, consider how those sides came to be, and pick the side most sensible. Finding truth is obvious and intuitive.
As an online youngster I oscillated between extremes a lot. There’s an unspeakable amount of raw information on the web. Because of this you can make an excellent argument for anything. People gain opinions over crumbs of data vastly distant from their loops of life. And none of it is real. There’s a swelling mill churning out indiscriminate stuff. Then our loop-limited selves pick up said stuff and say, “What is this? Surely it is something I can know. I’ll figure it out.” This is a mistake. Actually it’s nothing to us. It’s grey goop that has no function.
We desperately want to know what it is. And it’s moldable so everyone creates with it and shares it thinking they understand. It does things but wait, what does messing with each other’s pile of goo have to do with our loop? It’s mad to think this stuff matters, to engage in bickery about fundamental nonsense. If we are to act honestly we must not stray from our tightly limited loop and apprehend this for what it is in relation to that. That is to say, “This is grey goo. In no place is there a role for it in my loop. I cannot know how it works, what it is, where it came from, etc. I affirm my ignorance.”

[Anonymous No.16523433]

This site could do with a feature that allows you pin certain threads of interest. (not pin them objectively but subjectively for your own reference) but it's transitory nature defeats that purpose.

[Anonymous No.16523521]

>>16523209
Thank you for the help anon. I have a ton of inaction in me so I was kind of waiting for someone like you to come along. Being so isolated for so long makes me think it's next to impossible to actually enter normal friendships, but you're right about self sabotage. It's me whos too scared to try to reach out and it's me who has to fix that, which I've been trying to do. It's calming as hell to give up after I meet someone new and never initiate and let myself start thinking they hate me so I can give up and stop stressing about the whole thing. But that's not going to solve anything

[Anonymous No.16523587]

>>16523433
You can pin threads already. All threads eventually get archived and then deleted

[Anonymous No.16523602]

>>16523587
O_O
4chan truly is at the forefront of web technology

[Anonymous No.16523627]

>>16523602
Click on the arrow next to the thread you want to pin and a menu will appear
newfag

[Anonymous No.16523675]

>>16523422
We can know only that we know nothing. And that is the highest degree of human wisdom
-Tolstoy

[Anonymous No.16523683]

>>16513387
Damn, that was a fun thread with butterfly. Too bad it got deleted

[Anonymous No.16523829]

>Do you not know, that since time began
>and since human beings were set on earth,
>the triumph of the wicked has always been brief
>and the sinner's gladness has never lasted long?
>Towering toward the sky he may have been,
>his head touching the clouds;
>but he vanishes, like a phantom, once for all,
>while those who used to see him ask "Where is he?"
>(Job 19:4-7)

My first impulse is not to be persuaded by the promise of remembrance for the heavenly. I know how many wicked have died with their names on the lips of strangers, and their deeds on the backs of yet others.

But then I remember what it's for that I'm reading this holy book, a book withheld from me in youth by the hubris of positivism and the indifference from history. I remember my hope to find in the muck of memory that which time in her way leaves to accumulate: the deeds of the noble, the thoughts of the wise, the dreams of the pious – and I feel some hope to be persuaded by the sentiment , that Godliness, that Beauty, that the Soul possess something fruitfully eternal for which all wanderers will be searching, and which all Noble souls will be capable of leaving behind in eternity.

Ah, the temptation to optimism, to the belief in heaven – it's too strong, so that even the tenderest push sends one reeling in search of the great welling body of love which the glowing soul is capable of illuminating only in bits and pieces, only in moments, before all falls back into the blackness of Job's sorrow.

[Anonymous No.16523844]

>>16523602
>O_O

[Anonymous No.16523855]

You should live in fear
For I live in the heart of every man

[Anonymous No.16523858]

I did nofap for 7 days then I edged with 50 tabs open, came a lot but by the end I got blue balls and now my stomach hurts like a fucking bitch

[Anonymous No.16523935]

>>16513387
I really want to make anime adaptations of Borges' work. If I ever strike a jackpot I will learn how to illustrate and make these. I may also try to do the same with Pynchon. I think that anime is the perfect medium for the adaptation of a text.

[Anonymous No.16524171]

>>16523627
>>16523844
Haha thanks for the tips guys.

[Anonymous No.16524175]

>>16523858
Don't edge

[Anonymous No.16524178]

I just thought to myself, "I have an itch I can't scratch." And then I remembered that was a line from Bladerunner spoken by one of the proletarian worker model replicants. "You ever have an itch you can't scratch?"
Am I an android?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=7IcpEhkq49M

[Anonymous No.16524186]

>>16524175
It usually feels good. I overdid it this time tho

[Anonymous No.16524207]

>>16522856

[Anonymous No.16524259]

my abusive, narcissistic mother invited herself over to my apartment 1000+ miles away and is staying for a few days. i am three hours into night one and already miserable—this time there wasn’t even a motherly façade, she went straight to crying about what a failure i am and how terribly sad it makes her that i cannot maintain my home to her standards. she screamed until her face went blue and then the anger tired her out sufficiently and so she went to bed. i am trying to be strong and i know she cannot hurt me but i feel heavy tears welling in my eyes all the same. i am so tense because i cannot relax near her. my stomach is turning because i remember the seemingly neverending physically and emotionally abusive nightmare she put me through. nothing is good enough for her but she is deeply sick. i don’t have to be good enough for her. she will always recalibrate her standards such that i will not be able to meet them. if i just survive this week we will have a campfire by a big pond, no moms allowed. please wish me luck because my heart is heavy

[Anonymous No.16524306]

>>16513387
I haven't left my studio apartment in Six days. I've been high and drunk and masturbating so much my dick actually hurts. I haven't checked my phone or email or attended any lectures since Friday. Lab report due Thursday need to do that so my group doesn't find out I'm stuck in a hole. Slept 3 hours last night and decided to stay awake today and attempt to reset my sleep schedule. Going to snap out of it tomorrow morning and catch up on all the recorded lectures i missed, and chegg any easy homework. Cold turkey no weed no beer tomorrow, back to daily exercise and cooked meals and strict regimental schedule. Need to focus man I'm close to fucking up pretty bad. At least I'm not suicidal.

[Anonymous No.16524364]

>>16524207
It's something in the air, can you smell it? It's in the water, the food. It's in our eyes. It's quiet and subtle despair. The kind that leaves you trembling with anticipation never relieved. The kind you could spend your whole life with hovering just over your head. Many do. Many more have died with it always just out of their reach, just beyond their agency to do anything about it. To resolve it. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of a lot of things, more tired than I have a right to at my age. But I am not alone in this. I know many of you are tired, too. Many of you are exhausted with life despite not having even started a family, a career, or finished a degree. Yet you too feel the sapping of the life out of life every day unsure how or why your energy is leaving. I see many people every day, but I don't see their faces. Their eyes are cast downwards or to the sides. Eye contact is rare. They are afraid to meet your eyes. They too feel tired and don't have the wits or the words to describe it. They're afraid that you might feel the same way, that by meeting your eyes they would start to communicate what they really feel. Nearly every person will complain about today's day if the topic is brought up. They'll say things about the city, the weather, society, the current administration, and then peter out after saying they wish it were different. They stop talking before they have a chance to speak what's on their minds, really. I know what they would say. They would say that they're tired too. They would say they're exhausted, poisoned, sick, lethargic, dead-eyed and feel like a robot. They would tell you how dull life seems, the glimmer having gone out of their cars, houses and phones years ago. And most of all, they would tell you that deep down they hate it. Not a fiery or cold hate. A small pit of loathing, all that's left after years of being told otherwise and daily indoctrinations. What the fuck kind of living is it when you feel out of place and tired all the time in your own body? What standards have we that we turn down the presence of our fellow men in exchange for fake satisfactions and loneliness? What sort of culture are we continuing that we allow our words and thoughts to be policed by weak, pathetic men and fat delusional women who claim to be warriors? Aren't you done? Aren't you tired of being tired all the time? I know for a fact that I am. I hate that I have back pains at 20 from working. I hate that if I mention strong views on politics and life that there's a chance I get fired, canceled, or have my character assassinated and reputation destroyed. I hate that I'm aware of blatantly evil and esoteric acts being done daily by our oligarchy and I don't get fired up and pissed over it. I hate that I have had my youth, my vitality, my lust for life drained from me along with every red-blooded young man in the nation for the security of our ruler's monopoly and domination. I. Am. Tired. Aren't you?

[Anonymous No.16524485]

I don't want to be tired anymore. I don't want a tired that no sleep deep enough, no drug strong enough, no porn hot enough can fix. I thought I was tired when I had breakdowns and slips of sanity. I thought I was tired when I was a kid and saw through the sham of our education. I thought I had reached the point of no return years ago. Well, there is no line to be crossed. It's moved a little further back every time you think you're close enough to snap. I want to snap. I want others to want to snap. I want to know that despite being born on owned space and being assaulted with societal programming the moment I left the tit, I can still resist. That others can resist. And we can. We can collectively deny the soft, peripheral authority that has us put on muzzles every day and fucks us out of our money and time for their benefit. We can reject the lies they tell us, the tactics they use to make us blame each other for their greed and comforts. We can stop being tired. Go and do it. Look people in the eyes. Please. See each other for the first time in a long time, remember what it's like to talk with someone and not talk at them. Take off your masks, you know they don't work. Encourage other people to do the same. Convince them that it isn't about the mask at all, it's about the obedience of it. You can wear paper or panties for a mask and employees won't care. It's about the compliance with a law that has no sense. What will happen to you if you and everyone else stop wearing masks? Nothing. The sense of quiet despair can't do anything to you. It's just a suggestion. It always has been. I'm making a different one. I'm telling you to say "fuck it" and snap along with everyone else. I'm telling you that unless you stop NOW, you will die with a feeling of not-good-enough hanging over your head and a dead lifetime of regrets as your only legacy 40 years from now. Fuck that. Fuck that six different ways with a cactus. I refuse to give my years to the oligarchy, I refuse to give them my work, I refuse to give them my money. Fuck them and the baby-eating rituals they coasted to power on.
I'm done being tired. If you are too, then join me in this. Get your friends to stop being tired. Get your family to stop being tired. The people you care about are irreplaceable. Your time with them is irreplaceable. Don't let it be poisoned and ground down by the system, stolen then loaned back to you for a fee. The time for exhaustion is done. The time of change is now. Be that change.

[Anonymous No.16524505]

>>16524259
You can't kick her out?

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » oI3er5KKetj No.16524575]

I'm feeling miserable. No one paid attention to me tripfagging in a recent thread, I'm getting suicidal.

[Anonymous No.16524612]

>>16524575
Good, do it bitch.

[Anonymous No.16524626]

Now is a tough time and many aren’t doing well. I’m glad I found a way to scrape by relatively comfortably.

[Anonymous No.16524698]

>>16522486
Thanks for the heads up anon, I knew it could cause a bit of psychosis but wasn't aware about causing lasting schizophrenia. Haven't gotten schizophrenia from other high-stress situations so I'm betting on not getting it from this either

[Anonymous No.16524710]

all i want to do is cry. i hate eveyrthing and everything is horrible. all i do is suffer horrible agony and toil and tedium. nothing i try for ever comes through. i fantasize about suicide. i hate everyone around me. i'd rather have never been born.

[Anonymous No.16524715]

>>16513516
ditto this
t. went to bed 2 hours ago and can't even sleep because they won't shut up
we as humans have become too civilized and tolerate what shouldn't be tolerated. return to monkey. assault those who harass you.

[Anonymous No.16524836]

>>16524575
You're not her. Faggot

[Anonymous No.16524945]

I literally can't remember the last time I spoke to a girl my own age that wasn't one of my friend's girlfriends or a service worker. I think I've lost track of my landmarks. For a long while I was keeping tabs on it; I distinctly remember realizing at some point it had been six months, but for the life of me I can't remember what the interaction was that I based the timeline off of. It's probably been a full year now, maybe a bit more or less. It hasn't been on purpose, though I guess I haven't done much to change it. To be entirely honest sometimes I forget girls exist as active agents in society, going about their own business and occupying space. They've become as invisible to me as I am to them. I am not even convinced we would understand each other if some poor girl WAS subjected to a conversation with me; We might both think the other was speaking in tongues.
Ironically, I haven't thought about killing myself lately either. Can't help but realize giving up on hope for a sex life has probably helped me immensely.

[Anonymous No.16524949]

what is reading but distraction from being?

[Anonymous No.16525044]

I don't want to sleep but I must. I want to burn and then burn everything that's burned.

[Anonymous No.16525144]

Just got my first 9-5, 5 day a week job. Its in something I genuinely enjoy but I'm anxious too. Up til now I've lived a very flexible, pretty part time relaxed bum lifestyle. Gonna miss that, but I guess I'll enjoy the extra money.

[Anonymous No.16525228]

>>16514711
No not really, the casting, filming, production values, niche etc are all controlled by the account holder and whether they succeed or fail beyond reasonable considerations is none of the platforms concern. Where one thot fails 3 take her place, fighting among each other to hand you simp money.
Consider the risks, costs and ball ache of you wanting to shoot porn and make a return on it vs owning "onlyfans".

[Anonymous No.16525448]

I've become obsessed with watching detransition vlogs.

[Anonymous No.16525684]

I'm halfway through it, but The Billions of Arsène Lupin sounds so far removed from usual Lupin adventures and so much like an American detective novel, a bad one even, that I'm honestly wondering if Leblanc even wrote it.
Even the last book in the series, one he didn't even get to edit before kicking the bucket, is a much better read and more true to the character.

[Anonymous No.16525715]

Ravioli, Ravioli
I wanna fug a qt loli

[Anonymous No.16525766]

have you guys ever spoken/written something for a funeral? I need to but i have no idea what to say

[Anonymous No.16525940]

>>16525766
Shouldn't be that complicated.
Whatever you feel. Emotion is imperative.

[Anonymous No.16526006]

>>16525766
What qualities did you like most about the person?
Did they ever teach you something? Could explicitly or implicitly through their actions.
Is there anything about their attitude to life that you try to apply to your life. Could be incredibly simple, like the way they were always down to try a new food.
Do you remember the first time you met?
Can you think of one particular memory that best encapsulated the best parts of their personality?
Think small, but draw big conclusions. My father always did crosswords with me as a child, and even though I of course only ever got one or two of the answers that instilled in me a love of words and literature that I still possess to this day. Think that kinda stuff. Best of luck anon.

[Anonymous No.16526046]

>>16513387
war is dumb. you fight over geographical locations and resources as if there isnt enough for everybody. war also comes with racism which is also dumb. you judge a person just because he was born somewhere else and/or has a different skin color. its disturbing for me to think man hasnt evolved after all this time. in the far future, if we are to survive, men and women will laugh at the ideas of racism and war. it will just seem too stupid to be true. matter of fact is, man today is not far from an animal, still. that includes me of course, as i hold no superiority over others. i am an animals, just like the rest of them. but at least i aim for the future, whereas others aim for the past.

[Anonymous No.16526067]

I have a research proposal due on Monday. It's about 1500-1700 words. Writing that many words is not a problem, I just have a issue if I'd be good enough. I don't want to procrastinate either. Not to mention this is my first time writing and doing research stuff. I often wonder why the fuck didn't they teach me this in my bachelors.

[Anonymous No.16526087]

trying to finish the myth of sisyphos but rocket league is too fun rn

[Anonymous No.16526203]

If the part of me that plans,dreams and fails to try and accomplish things were another person, constantly lying and deceiving me,I would have pushed this person away already.Then why cant I change this?

[Anonymous No.16526715]

>>16513387
I saw Cries and Whispers for a date today. It's about a woman dying from a cancer of the uterus and there is a scene where a woman puts broken glass into her pussy. It was my idea and though she didn't say anything I could see she did not like it. She still hasn't responded to me yet.
Was the fuck was I thinking.

[Anonymous No.16527015]

I watched the first debate on a very strong dose of LSD, in my usual attempts to understand the interaction of the human condition and Project Monarch/MKUltra done to humanity as I usually do on acid. Though the stage I find myself in doing recreational drugs to understand how the world works and how I might find a way to fit in as a socially retarded autist, trying to understand communication in its most raving psychopathic format, is still culture. I think.

It would have to be because though I feel confused at times and helpless with most everything in life I still do feel a sort of distant connection to a very deep, godly ever-present understanding. It is as if it's in the air, around me when I am talking to people, noticing something little enlightening a most vibrant all encompassing vision. Something there, like a reality distortion field but I do, with some luck see the transparent thaumaturgicaI force field I am experiencing.

In terms of opposite sex relations, I am finding more and more frustration. So little do I ever find the luck to get one to look at themselves. It is as if they have but no care in their being ethical. If it looks good, it doesn't matter if it's actually good. Though time and time again I make the pilgrimage to see when in need how agile their tongues can be, it is still nothing too special. It is crude and rough, as unpolished as they come. So it makes me think if it's even meant to deceive, or if I am to just shut up from the sheer bother and ignore it. It strikes me too much as short sighted, and makes me think that women have no intentions of finding a lasting mate, as if they think that nothing is permanent, and therefore equally worthless.

I am doing my best looking into the Kabbalah, Qliphoth and the such, but it is simply impenetrable. I'm not sure what I am missing. I have to say though, no matter what the situation, merely making completely unnecessary, punctuating, rhetorical non-observations help. For instance, like saying, "things are just the way they are because they have to be" or "if we have to know what we are missing, we have to look at what we have not been"

[Anonymous No.16527090]

I think it's pretty funny Nancy Pelosi is talking about truth when she knowingly lied to the American public about falsified WMDs in Iraq.

[Anonymous No.16527961]

Should I put my photo on my pdf CV or not?

[Anonymous No.16527980]

>>16513387
I'm gonna become happy

[Anonymous No.16528256]

>>16527961
NO

[Anonymous No.16528260]

>>16527961
put a self portait instead

[Anonymous No.16528291]

>>16527961
Yes. Make sure to add a silly background or have a quirky facial expression too so the employer knows you have a sense of humor.
Also a common mistake is that the pictures are often too small. You can't see the face clearly. Make sure to fill the whole page with your photo so the employer can clearly see what you look like.

[Anonymous No.16528294]

>>16524945
You want to talk about it sometime anon? Do you still want a relationship or are you wholly content now? There is nothing wrong with being the latter but I hope you are not repressing something that will later resurface when the matter could be fixed now.

[Anonymous No.16528321]

>>16527961
Yes. Make sure it is your furry persona too. Be authentic and true to yourself and life will reward you.

[Anonymous No.16528328]

The fake wholesome shit on the Internet is really aggravating to see for some reason. I think it's because I know people are falling for this 'inspirational' fake 'wisdom' or 'kindness' malarkey.

[Anonymous No.16528334]

>>16513387
People really do things and forget to have fun while doing them - wack.

[Anonymous No.16528355]

>>16516785
This, but microdose beforehand.

[Anonymous No.16528458]

>>16528294
>Do you still want a relationship or are you wholly content now?
I have other things I'm per-occupied with. I'm honest enough with myself to say I do want a relationship, since occasionally a girl I see out in the wild will blast into the foreground and I'll feel a throbbing sadness about my own mediocrity. But those moments are increasingly rare and they're diminishing in intensity.
I'm still a man with a sex drive, I want to have sex instinctively, it's not something I will ever get rid of unless someone cuts my balls off, but I've just gotten a lot better at sublimating it.

[Anonymous No.16528482]

>>16528256
Don't listen to this anon. You wouldn't believe how many CVs I've thrown away just because they contained no photo. How am I supposed to decide whether to hire you if I don't even know what you look like? Ridiculous.

[Anonymous No.16528501]

>>16528482
really? what area?

[Anonymous No.16528530]

>>16528501
Sneed's Seed & Feed

[Anonymous No.16528544]

>>16528530
Didn't think my post would make so many posters jest.

[Anonymous No.16528551]

Sometimes, a fella just has to do the Bartman.

[Anonymous No.16528552]

>>16514369
When my mom died I felt that way. It will pass

[Anonymous No.16528560]

i think that its well and fine to borrow novels. you must definitely buy books of poetry.

[Anonymous No.16528565]

Why shouldn't I fuck her? Oh no she's twelve someone will be banging her soon anyway might as well be me.

[Anonymous No.16528575]

>>16528560
Wrong
Poetry is to be read aloud or displayed in public
The novel is privately owned and read alone or to those close to you

[Anonymous No.16528584]

I think my girlfriend wants to get married but I don't think I want that. She's older than me and we got together when I was 21 and she was 27. Now she's 30 and I'm 23, and I do love her very much but....she spent up her youth on random men and now finally found me to settle down with. I've given her the best years of my life. It doesn't seem fair. But I also don't want to break up with her..

I'm also applying to PhD programs and am constantly worried about rejection. I feel so lost

[Anonymous No.16528587]

>>16528584
get out right now she is going to trap you if she already hasn't

[Anonymous No.16528588]

>>16524945
bro girls are just regular human beings. Othering them makes your girl problems a whole lot harder, believe me.

[Anonymous No.16528599]

>>16528584
Break up with her NOW

[Anonymous No.16528607]

>>16528587
Sometimes I think that but relationships aren't so archetypal. I really don't think that she's consciously trying to trap me. If anything, she's got a nice career established and makes tons of money and I'm just a nerd trying to get into grad school. I think she genuinely cares for me but this weird age difference is becoming a clusterfuck. I keep thinking about how she's had so many boyfriends throughout her 20s and while I've dated as a teen she is my only real adult relationship. It seems kind of unbalanced in a way I can't describe..but I also can't really imagine myself wanting to be in a relationship with another person..

wat do?

[Anonymous No.16528611]

>>16528584
Look for a new gf now, they are easier to find when you are in a relationship

[Anonymous No.16528615]

>>16528599
Why do you say that? She's a good person, cares for me, is smarter than me...I feel like I would regret breaking up with her as an old man or something. It's just the age difference is becoming so sus

[Anonymous No.16528627]

>>16528584
PLEASE DON'T GET MARRIED. If you do, this will be one of the biggest mistakes you ever make.
Your life is just beginning. Watch this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Czfo1lZaDOg
And you're completely rightfully concerned about the age difference. She is not as fertile as she used to be and her fertility is only going to decrease.
You should wait until you're at least something like 30, when you've approximately fulfilled your potential and know your true value. Find a woman that is younger than you, more fertile, less sexually experienced, ideally a virgin (statistics show that high body count lowers pair bonding ability in women and makes them sadder).
I strongly recommend watchin Alexander Grace's videos, his channels is great. He critically looks at the redpill, mgtow and incel philosophy and science and takes the best parts of them while ignoring the extremism/nihlisims that is prevalent in these communities.

[Anonymous No.16528628]

>>16528615
If you get into grad school, the only opportunity for you to have kids will be while you are still studying and without income.

[Anonymous No.16528642]

>>16528588
Men and women are very, very different from each other. I have almost nothing in common with women; my occupation and hobbies are all overwhelmingly male-dominated. I grew up without sisters or female friends and I've lived in male dorms/barracks/etc. for most of my "adult" life. I haven't othered them because of some incel ideology or anything like that, I just have so little mutual understanding that it came about naturally. Obviously I am perfectly cordial with women when they serve me or (in the very rare circumstance) they are a coworker.

[Anonymous No.16528651]

>>16528627
ok homie this is just misogynistic bad advice. I'm looking for a partner not a fertile woman. I think it would be very wrong for me, as a 30 year old man, to partner up with a woman with little to no sexual experience. I think it would give the relationship a weird power imbalance like the one I'm in now...would you give similar advice to a 23 year old woman dating a 30 year old man?

[Anonymous No.16528670]

>>16528642
Ah I see. Well I think it would be good for you to find some women you can relate to. For example, my sister and I share a very masculine hobby (we all play rugby). Hanging out with her and her teammates feel like hanging out with dudes. Like yeah some of her friends are pretty but at the end of the day they just seem pretty normal to me.

[Anonymous No.16528672]

>>16528615
Rip off the bandaid. She's too old. The longer you wait the older she gets. Being nice is not a valid reason to marry someone.
>>16528651
Double standards exist for a reason, stop being juvenile. Men being older than their spouses has literally been normal for all of human history.

[Anonymous No.16528681]

>>16528651
>ok homie this is just misogynistic bad advice
No it's not.
>I'm looking for a partner not a fertile woman
You don't want to have kids?
> I think it would give the relationship a weird power imbalance like the one I'm in now...
But men are supposed to take charge in a relationship. Women like that.
What is the power imbalance in your current relationship?
>would you give similar advice to a 23 year old woman dating a 30 year old man?
Women peak at their early 20s and teens. I would tell a 20 yo woman to try and find a stable partner quickly because time is running out (and not to fuck around). Men and women are completely different and have completely different sexual strategies.

[Anonymous No.16528741]

>>16528651
>I'm looking for a partner not a fertile woman
Just turn gay then

[Anonymous No.16528743]

>>16528681
I mean, I would want to have kids someday. I'm not really thinking about it now though. In 5 years I could still have kids with my gf.

I don't really understand why you say things like "men are supposed to take charge". I want to have a partner in life who is my equal.

Also, "women peak in their early 20s and teens" is pseudoscience bullshit. Teen pregnancies are dangerous for mothers because their bodies aren't done developing. An actual biological peak for reproduction in women is mid to late 20s with slow decline into 30s. Geriatric pregnancy doesn't occur til age 35.

[Anonymous No.16528762]

>>16528743
Not talking about biological peak, rather peak in SMV.

[Anonymous No.16528772]

>>16528743
>kids
Your second will come around when she's nearly 40, if she can still make them that is

[Anonymous No.16528791]

>>16528772
>>16528762
Is there an argument for breaking up with someone older than you that doesn't have to do with kids? Like I'm fine with adopting or something. I'm more concerned by the fact that I gave her much more of my youth than she gave me, and that seems unfair.

[Anonymous No.16528840]

>>16528791
Your two reasons to stay with her (she's nice, I might regret it) are vastly overshadowed by your reasons you should break up with her (A "power imbalance, resentment for taking your youth, her having fucked around during her youth and now trying to tie you down for her benefit more than yours)
You hate to see a young man who in another time might have had the chance to be an explorer or champion be stifled by a the -threat- of regret rather than living a vital and spontaneous life.
Not my problem, enjoy your "power imbalance" with your old and very experienced "equal partner" (and child of another man you adopted rather than siring your own)

[Anonymous No.16528858]

>>16528791
>and that seems unfair
It is, and it's a perfectly fine reason to break up with her.

[Anonymous No.16528861]

Do you think there are women who are attracted to men who browse 4chan?

[Anonymous No.16528901]

>>16514711
The difference is that doing everything though a website gets rid of the male aspect of pornography entirely. Having to deal with slimy producers and cameramen might make girls think twice about exposing themselves to the world. Shooting on a webcam and getting paid through an anonymous central service makes them feel like they're in control, and in some ways they are.
On the one hand sites like onlyfans have got rid of some of the more exploitative aspects of pornography, but on the other hand they've removed almost all of the mental and social barriers that used to dissuade curious young women from doing it in the first place. The casual nature of it is honestly disturbing, at this point any woman who's remotely famous on the internet is expected to start selling pictures of her bare ass to strangers and told that there won't be any negative consequences for doing so.

[Anonymous No.16529034]

>>16528615
anon, know that one thing you will regret in old age is taking major life event advice from 4chan

[Anonymous No.16529200]

>>16528861
Yeah fat discord sluts who say "im bored." 50 times a day

[Anonymous No.16529246]

I don't need burgers, french fries, hotdogs, or lays cheddar. I don't need soda and other sugary drinks. I'm perfectly happy eating this healthy wrap I made myself. Mmm, it has sauted spinach. Doesn't that sound good? And you're perfectly happy with this frosty cup of ice cube filled water. You don't need it. You don't need it.
t. American who's lost 50 pounds and is trying to lose more and not rebound
>>16513820
It really is an ingenious idea. They became digital pimps skimming profit off the top of things.

[Anonymous No.16529261]

>>16528901
>famous on the internet
ew
my man neil c gets a pass but all other solely internet based 'famous' people sound gross

[Anonymous No.16529270]

>>16529246
The corn syrup subsidies are there to keep you fat, keep it up my dude

[Anonymous No.16529285]

>>16514120
I was raised a Jehovah's Witness. No holidays or birthday parties. Something odd happens when you dont care about your own birthday. As the years went by, I eventually stopped believing in all that armageddon stuff. The trouble is that I didnt know how to celebrate my birthday since it was kind of a new thing. So I didnt. Now, nobody knows what to do on my birthday. I'm not part of the church so people feel weird not mentioning it...you know what? I'm rambling. Enjoy your birthday dude.

[Anonymous No.16529308]

>>16528861
annoying cows who wear the cat ears headphones and are retard whores who think “memes” are a hobby

[Anonymous No.16530344]

Holy shit, Pence going in on this anti-vax bitch!

[Anonymous No.16530353]

I remember getting sick and losing my voice for a day when I was young. I always expected it to happen again but it never has. Is losing your voice in this manner rarer as you get older or have I just been unlucky? It's a neat sensation

[Anonymous No.16530358]

There was a thread on here about whether buying books was worth it and I never got to read what they decided, it’s had me thinking ever since.

[Anonymous No.16530466]

>>16513982
It's literally escapist fantasy with, as others have mentioned, art styles and animation deliberately set to trigger every base impulse in your lizard brain and keep your attention on it. Weebs and otakus are obsessed with the shallower stuff like Slice of Life, RomComs, etc. because it represents a sort of idyllic, relaxed, peaceful lifestyle, bereft of stress or concerns that the real world has. It gives them something that they've either lost as they grew up, or never had in the first place. Other types appeal to other types of lifestyle desires, shounen tells you that even if you're a braindead moron with no money, no real skills and no talents you can still somehow manage to succeed through sheer persistence, which everyone knows isn't really the case 99% of the time, isekai and the like represent a sort of power fantasy where you're transported away from your current shitty existence to somewhere where your useless or nonexistent skills suddenly afford you prestige and admiration, or you're just given some bullshit cheat anyway, and so on and so forth. Most of it's hamfisted as fuck, sure, but it's effective nevertheless, especially for social outcasts and the like that are starved for what it represents.

[Anonymous No.16531437]

>>16530353
I only ever lose my voice these days after a concert or maybe a sports match

[Anonymous No.16531444]

>>16528642
You should hang out with rednecks then, the sharp delineation between masculine and feminine traits is largely a bourgeois phenomenon.

[Anonymous No.16531565]

>>16531444
I've lived and worked in rural areas before. You're right, "redneck" women are a lot more likely to mimic male behavior, mostly since many feminine indulgences and pastimes are exclusively found in cities. There are also fewer offices or retail stores and more farms or lumber yards where they might find themselves working due to the Two Income Trap. But at the end of the day some girl who drives a pickup truck and likes ("likes?") ice hockey is still a girl. There's a thin coating of male interests floating on a dark ocean of female desideratum.

[Anonymous No.16531587]

>>16528861
Don’t ever tell women about it

[Anonymous No.16531625]

I just want to be loved :(

[Anonymous No.16531765]

i look like leading man handsome in the mirror but a dull potato in pictures wtf how am i supposed to get the tinder game pussy

[Anonymous No.16531825]

Is it normal for the US to have this many hurricanes in a year?

[Anonymous No.16531831]

>>16513387
Life's mundane. Ignore it. Focus on what you want.

[Anonymous No.16531838]

I do nothing for myself. Im killing myself slowly.

[Anonymous No.16531849]

>>16531831
I want life

[Anonymous No.16532269]

>>16531831
Maybe for you, I find just existing quite enjoyable.

[Anonymous No.16532346]

>>16527961
Where I'm from, the third-world, they actually ask that you attach a photo. Along with other retarded information like your age, address, religion, and dad's name.

[Anonymous No.16532595]

>>16513425
So you fell asleep at 3:00PM?

[Anonymous No.16532662]

I cracked a joke, one million years later. "Too soon", they said.

[Anonymous No.16532722]

God I just genuinely want to murder women.

[Anonymous No.16532762]

>>16513387
My heart rends my soul void of all reprise as I lie in the dark awaiting for the exhaustion to overwhelm my furious mind. I desire sincerity in people but I can only find it in art, it's the only thing that gives me meaning. To admire is easy, to discover beauty is even easier, I find it in every fleeting moment. Yet, to create some beautiful expression in a time where depths only go as far as skin disheartens me ever so. I have plotted a course, I have drawn my maps, I know where i plan to be tomorrow but always remind myself I know not where tomorrow will take me. Through every step I draw up the beauty of life and death only to fuel the agony of failure. There can be no repose for the one who know he cannot love another as he has grown to love life and respect death.

[Anonymous No.16533165]

>>16517604
I usually read quite slowly but C&P and The Idiot melted away in about a week as well.

[Anonymous No.16533541]

make an instagram account specifically for reporting thots. instagram is pretty good about removing them and then when they make a backup account, report that one too. you can cripple their simp income in a matter of days. no-nudity findommes even get taken down. it’s perfect. if you’re really feeling saucy, comment on a picture asking how instagram could be cruel enough to remove their account from an account with 0 followers so they feel that the report was personal (that’s a dumb extra mile but...)

[Anonymous No.16533603]

>>16514144
I used to talk too much, verbalizing all my thoughts and doubts and just in general thinking out lout. Working at a masculine environment made me realize people lose respect for that shit really fast. Either cut to the chase or shut up. Everyone has his thoughts, there's no point in cluttering environment else yours. After that I cannot help but feel contempt for the new ones who still ask about stupid shit and think out loud, as if trying to prove something. Believe it or not, it's single mothers that cause this (including me).

What I said is only work related tho.

[Anonymous No.16533613]

>>16533603
>in cluttering the environment(period)*

[Anonymous No.16533614]

>>16513441
What precisely does that have to do with bodybuilding?

[Anonymous No.16533649]

>>16513387
The grass is always greener. When I'm not reading, I regret missing out on all the mountains of limitless genius of men. Whenever I'm reading, I become obsessed with it and it overtakes my life and I can feel myself fossilizing. I become cold and rigid. What do?

[Anonymous No.16533786]

>>16520010
What is human nature?

[Anonymous No.16533950]

Why is it so hard to start writing?

[Anonymous No.16534250]

The way every single one of these BLM martyrs turned out to be serious criminals is making me start to wonder if maybe Emmitt Till did something, know what I mean?

[Anonymous No.16534504]

>>16513387
not much

[Anonymous No.16534531]

How long before the death of America and it's brand of liberalism, i want to know if i will be able to see it in my lifetime?

[Anonymous No.16534973]

>>16534531
Hopefully soon. I want to see footage of burgers turned to ash from nuclear devastation. It's what they deserve.

[Anonymous No.16535009]

>>16534531
Give it a few months after the election and you'll get a lot more than you asked for.
>>16533950
Because you need a good fucking reason to. Writing is not the end goal, it is the means to an end. If you have something that awakens the Artist in you, be it a message through words, water color or oil paint, than you will find a way to communicate that message. Michelangelo didn't sculpt David or paint the Sistine chapel simply because he was commissioned to do it. He was a person who glimpsed into the heart of reality for a few precious moments, saw the image of Man at his height of perfection in his body, saw the impossible divinity of God and His World be transferred to the stewardship of Man with but a single point of contact, a single touching of mortal finger to divine avatar. He saw these things and felt so strongly that he had to share them with his culture that he took up being an artist as an occupation. There is no other good reason to take up a hammer and chisel against a pillar of granite for months, years at a time unless it is to immortalize a single moment of clarity, beauty, and wonder into a projection of stone for the world to marvel at. Why is it so hard to start writing? You don't have anything worth writing about. Find it.
>>16530466
You bring up the points I forgot to add in. Power fantasy and escapism are the two biggest reasons why it draws people in, yes, and the effectiveness is furthered by the aesthetic design points I mentioned here. >>16519925

[Anonymous No.16535232]

>>16528791
>>16528584
First off, meme magic is real. TWO anons got dubs telling you to break it off with her now, that's an omen. Second, leaving family considerations aside for the moment, I want you to step back from your relationship for five minutes. Just five minutes, look at it as if you were a third person who knows all the details but isn't involved in any way. The first thing you notice is the age imbalance. I use that word because it is an imbalance, not just a difference, and it's skewed against the man in the relationship. He is in his prime years and she has reached the tail end of hers, yet she wants even more of his years than she has to offer. His prime will not be spent with another in her prime, but with a woman who wants to cling to the last few moments of hers. This is already unfair to the man, who now has to give up more than he usually does to be devoted to one woman. Just his time isn't enough now, his career is at stake if this woman wants to marry and settle down. If a family is decided on then his time is permanently bound to fatherhood early and not to his work, his passion and his interests. But, ignoring family for just another moment, consider how unfair it was for her to find you merely "acceptable." She spent her prime drifting through relationships aimlessly and "exploring herself" (i.e. fucking loads of dudes with no intention of sticking by them once they weren't fun anymore), and now that her vacation is over she has found her lifeline in the form of you. You have promises of stability in your life. You have the social status, desirability and financial future that has checked off all the boxes on her checklist for someone she needs if she doesn't want to go without a husband for the rest of her life. This sounds great for her. But where was she when she was your age? What was she doing? Riding the cock carousel. Fucking around. She wasn't looking for someone to fall in love with when she was 20, she wasn't looking for you. You want to secure your future by your own work. She played the lottery and expected to win her prize of "Mr. Perfect". Don't stay with her. Don't be a prize for her to have. Don't be her saving grace when she doesn't deserve it. Not only does she not deserve it, she will never look at you in a good way. How can she look up to you when she's older? How can she look up to you when you're still building something to be proud if in your career? How can she NOT see you as her last chance to escape the consequences of her past? She can't and she won't. You love her, but does she love you as much as she should? You fuck her, but does she give you as much as she gave the 10 other men she let fuck her too? You want to be loyal, but where was her loyalty before you came along?
You want to be a good man. Don't let an average woman stop you from that. Find a woman good enough for you when you deserve to have her.
TL;DR: You can do way better than her, this relationship is reversed in a bad way.

[Anonymous No.16535618]

>>16528584
>we got together when I was 21 and she was 27.
HOW does one do this. hate women my age

[Anonymous No.16535823]

>>16532269
>>>reddit

[Anonymous No.16535852]

I often get upset at myself for being too lazy or whatever for working an easy ass part time job, and just kind of going through life doing whatever, but then I'm like do I REALLY want to dress up in office casual and sit in a cubicle pumping out java code for a bank or whatever? I feel like a bum for just living a slacker lifestyle working like 20 hours a week, renting cheap rooms, wasting time frivolously on long pointless walks or reading only marginally canonical texts etc. but then it's like do I really want to have to be like that Bukowski thing where you get up super early, chug coffee, try to squeeze out a shit in three minutes, shower, and rush out the door to begin a long ass commute to somewhere? While I try to make up my mind, life just keeps going by.

[Anonymous No.16535962]

>>16513387
Where it all went wrong, I don't know. I suppose there was no singular moment to lead me be what I am now, and to make me live this thing, I cannot dare to call life. Perhaps it was rigged all along. I never had the chance to be different. And now it is too late, after all I have in my mind, with all this burden, I cannot liberate my soul. God. Oh God, help my poor soul, if any of it left anyway. Tell me that there is still salvation. That I can still become human. I can still control myself. I can still exert my existence, and justify my agency unto the world, and unto me. Tell me that I am not forgotten, and perhaps will never be. Engulf me in your divine flames and purify me. Let me know myself, know thee, and my place in the grand scheme of things, in relation to thee. Be my strength and let me not dissolve into nothingness but cheerish in thee. It must not be too late. Mayhap I can still forget the face of the devil, and enter your house and my heart shall be still, and mind clear, and my hand strong, and my soul satisfied. Protect me against the tyranny of the world, bitter coldness of the machine, and temptation of ever hungry flesh. Let me live my days as human and let me die human. God, I seek refugee in thee. For thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory forever. Amen.

[Anonymous No.16536152]

>>16526046
Fucking idiot. You ask why war is necessary? What's stopping someone from putting their dick in your anus? And taking your things. That's why we have law. And for that law, some men took arms and went against another men with arms and won and got to make law. And your just a faggot born into their work, masturbating every day and asking why war is necessary.

It's really simple if you aren't an idiot.

[Anonymous No.16536190]

>>16535618
The other way around is fine but you want to be very careful about dating an older woman. It doesn't work the same way. A man can date a woman much younger than her and it won't make much of a difference (emphasis, can) but a woman's reason for dating a much younger man are almost always bad (emphasis, almost).

They are usually jaded and looking for a boytoy because of some massive chip on their shoulders from their past, or they are degenerate cougars.

The thing is, women are overwhelmingly unattracted to men younger than them and overwhelmingly attracted to men older than them, and for a woman to resist this default trend it means something weird is going on. 1 in 100 times maybe that weirdness is benign but the other 99 times it's bad. She's either playing with a glorified orbiter like a cat plays with its food (seen this too many times to count), or she's simply a retard blind and callous to the damage she's causing.

Finally, age is no guarantee of maturity with women. Certain women become surprisingly decent once they hit their 40s, but it's usually because 20 years of unreflective thottery simply collapsed and they started to slowly rebuild from scratch. The maturity and tolerable personality you see in a 45 year old broad was probably "paid for" in emotion and shitty behavior dollars by her past husband, who she tortured for 10 years with the blowout of her youthful persona dying and her leisurely, laggard transformation into the woman you see now. Not to mention the 30 years of thot shit her friends, family, and exes had to put up with prior to the transformation itself.

Look for maturity in subtle things in women. Many women are more mature at age 22 than MANY 30-40 year olds. In fact women often get less mature as they age, because instead of even reforming into a decent person when their youthful persona is no longer viable/no longer gets them more positive attention than negative, they just refuse to accept it and go bananas.

[Anonymous No.16537734]

>>16535823
Enjoying life is the opposite of what reddit does, they constantly bitch and moan about it. Perhaps you'd find yourself in better company over there.

[Anonymous No.16537809]

>>16534531
read some post on /x/ saying we've got til october 13th, figure they might be right this time

[Anonymous No.16538053]

>>16513982
I only watch wholesome Japanese adaptations of Western literature.

Speaking of Eva.

[Anonymous No.16538220]

>>16513516
pls go on

[Anonymous No.16538250]

>>16537809
What was their reasoning?

[Anonymous No.16538289]

>>16524364
pretty good text, very strong start, too much of a strawman in the middle, good ending.
It's people like us that just need to fucking bear that fucking despair very fucking quietly. Because if we do so, it'll be harder to bear but nobody else will see it's there. Maybe we think or feel more intensly, maybe something else. Doesn't matter. If we bear it quietly we will spread our fire. Ignore PC culture, react ironically and with humor, break them silently, live our lives like we want to. Maybe we'll inspire ten others, and they'll do to.

[Anonymous No.16538337]

>>16528651
fuck off back to kindergarten retard

[Anonymous No.16538505]

>>16538250
Something about the collective unconscious awakening due to the racial and economic divide in America.

[Anonymous No.16539421]

Wave begets wave begets wave
My lungs are scarred and I'll make em shrivel
Love begets life begets death
My thirst unquenced til I thrust my body into spirals
Rock begets weight begets chains
I've been fishing in a bathtub, but time doesn't last forever

Time to join the sea

[Anonymous No.16539574]

>>16526046
+1 good goy point

[Anonymous No.16539834]

>>16539421
Nice

[Anonymous No.16539952]

>>16513387
I'm really amazed at how the internet has come to be, just think about it, before it was an unexplored place, a wild west, where you could meet all kinds of people on hundreds of sites, have any kind of conversation without politics or getting banned. People weren't like that, whores for attention. Now the internet is fucking garbage, full of narcissism people with mental problems, herd mentality, mob mentality, Corporations who only cares about money and use bots, the same with governments.
I think 2007 was one of the worst year for modern society.
>>16517008
yeah, seem like democracy was a mistake

[Anonymous No.16540426]

>>16536190
>Look for maturity in subtle things in women. Many women are more mature at age 22 than MANY 30-40 year olds.
like what? how would one notice this?

[Anonymous No.16540972]

>>16529285
>buy a cake from local supermarket
>put candle on top, light it
>have friends sing song
ez birthday

[Anonymous No.16540983]

>>16534531
american liberalism has survived countless economic crashes, two world wars, and the cold war. it is unkillable because despite what many people would have you believe, people fucking love it. people love liberal capitalism because they get everything they want, when they want it. there are some glitches here and there but beyond that neoliberalism is the ultimate wish fulfillment for the average westerner.