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/lit/ - Literature


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16973148 No.16973148 [Reply] [Original]

Should I send her a picture of it? We’re going on our second date this Thursday.

>> No.16973166

pretty sure poems are gay and should only be used dude to dude

>> No.16973170

>>16973166
>t. Filtered

Poetry is the most masculine, high test thing men can do. Chad is literally a poet.

>> No.16973176

>>16973148
No. Fuck no. What is wrong with you? Unless she is some shut-in Asian immigrant child she's gonna hate this---even then she won't love it. Plus, it just plain sucks.

>> No.16973178

>>16973148
https://voca.ro/13KTC5zIG5CO

>> No.16973179

>>16973148
>Cali
Gonna be your last date, and not just with Nicole.
Last date ever if you don't light that piece of paper on fire.
Find whatever caused you to write "Cali" and eliminate it from your life.

>> No.16973183

>>16973170
Cope

>> No.16973185

>>16973148
it's super cringe, especially with the rhyming, but kinda cute desu
if someone wrote this for me i'd probably smile.

>> No.16973187

>>16973148
Absolutely do not send her a picture of it.
You must read it aloud to her in person, from the page.

>> No.16973197
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16973197

>>16973176
Why are women incapable of appreciating art?

>> No.16973203

>”I couldnt get you off of my mind”
> "so I made you this"
>smile
easy win op

>> No.16973214

>>16973178
based

>> No.16973228

>>16973148
You started off good with the first two lines, but your meter gets butchered after that.

>> No.16973231

>>16973148
People who get laid easily write shitty poetry.
She'll probably like it.

>> No.16973233
File: 38 KB, 573x795, george-michael-thatgrapejuice-tribute.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16973233

>>16973170
being gay is the most high test thing men can do

>> No.16973240

>>16973148
Bit childish, rhymes are week and it's made worse by the fact you used coupled rhyme. Also no proper metric. Could be good if it was a little bit more self aware.

>> No.16973245

>>16973233
>https://youtu.be/E8gmARGvPlI
>that pic

Excellent taste, my friend. But you are wrong about sodomy. It’s not based, it’s heresy.

>> No.16973631

I'm not a girl but if a cute guy wrote me a nice poem I would probably fall for him

>> No.16973820
File: 2.90 MB, 480x480, 1605761954498.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16973820

>>16973148
>send it now
no
>keep writing
Yes, I've given every girl I've ever loved special prosaic love letters. All of them cried happily in my presence while they read them. Doesn't matter though since all of them left me. I've found a new love whose name is codeine. Keep it up though, she'll love seeing a collection of them after some time, just leave it for after some more time together... godspeed you beautiful bastard

>> No.16973830

>>16973148
It's good go for it
The best way is to read it to her like this guy said >>16973187

Also from a poetic perspective it sucksm but that doesn't matter at all

>> No.16973840

>>16973148
>lost in her endless, dark iris

>> No.16974203

>>16973148
Straying dangerously into autism territory, anon, consider what she will tell her girlfriends if you ever read or show that to her. You will likely be mercilessly laughed at and mocked, so unless you are otherwise attractive, you will go down in her estimation.

>> No.16974244

>>16973178
>this poems not good dude
spared you the lsiten

>> No.16974256

0 imagination 0 music 0 soul

>> No.16975040

>>16973197
>art
it's not art just because you put in trouble of making it yourself
if you think otherwise please give her a shampoo bottle filled with your very own shit just to prove how much you care about her

>> No.16975279

>>16973148
are you the same OP from some while back asking if you should leave her a poem under her windshield wiper?

>> No.16975286

>>16973148


1. THE POEM IS HILARIOUS DUE TO ITS POOR QUALITY, ALTHOUGH IT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE.

2. YOUR POETICAL INTENT IS SOMETHING THAT YOU SHOULD CULTIVATE & IMPROVE.

3. I THINK THAT YOU MAY BE CONFLATING INFATUATION WITH LOVE.

>> No.16975301

My dear Nicole, my dick is swole
whenever i think about your hole
Covid is fake but your tits are real
At least i think they are,
may i have feel?

>> No.16975305

>>16973148
This is fucking terrible from a writing standpoint. I couldn't get past the first line. That said, most people wouldn't know good writing if it bent them over and slammed the stinkhole dry, so you might get away with it. From an interpersonal perspective, I have no clue if it's "weird" to write a love letter on the second date because I don't date. But I wouldn't do it.

>> No.16975586

>>16975301
amazing

>> No.16975623

>>16975301
*applause*

>> No.16975630

Awful in every way. Learn how to write.

>> No.16975631

>>16973148
Didn't read because it wasn't written in cursive.

>> No.16976128

>>16973148
read two first lines. This shit is horrid nigga

>> No.16976185

wait, i recognize that handwriting! aren't you that guy who wrote a poem for his next door neighbor who you had a beer with once? I guess that didn't work out then, sorry to hear that. I wish you luck, the ending of this poem is ok, but for two reasons, because it's somewhat funny, and it's over. not the worst i've seen, and i think you should probably find out early if she's going to like that shit. but it sounds as though she likely is into you if she's kissed you on your first date. she'll tease you if she really likes you.

>> No.16976336

OP reporting in. I sent her a picture of the poem last night around 10:15 PM, texting, "Couldn't get you off my mind, so I wrote you this." Still no response. Will report back with my results.

>> No.16976365

>>16973148
cute but don't send a picture, give it to her in person

>> No.16976401

>>16973148
rate my poem for my gf:

Summer,
We were on a balcony,
Then,
Your head,
on my shoulder.

Autumn,
We were at a bar or,
Something,
Never thought we would be alone,
Together,
Just you and me,
So alone, in a bar.

Winter,
When it's cold,
You are warming,
Better than anything,
Better than drink,
Better than drinking,

How is anyone as beautiful as you?

>> No.16976436

>>16976401
Pretty sure this ones been done before

>> No.16976443

>>16976336
>sent it last night
>still hasn’t responded
Yikes anon, hope it goes well. You better deliver.

>> No.16976532

>>16976336
We're cheering for you anon.

>> No.16976571

>>16973245
Correct, and the most high-test thing you can do is ignore your bodily desires.
As such, the most based thing you can do is carry out a loving and yet physically unconsummated homosexual relationship

>> No.16976606

>>16973245
George is so far out of the chick's league it's not even funny

>> No.16976618

>>16976606
Yeah, I was thinking that, too. He is unironically more beautiful than her. I'm sure everyone knew that when they filmed the music video.

>> No.16976636

>>16973178
I thank god you are here everytime you post your vocaroo

>> No.16976875

>>16976336
OHNONONONO

>> No.16976883

>>16976336
Why did you do this when this thread clearly said that's dumb, not to mention if she searches for it, you'll have doxxed yourself as a chud who posts on alt-right cartoon forums.

>> No.16976905

Honestly while it is kinda cringe, poems are kinda cute and you can save if it doesn't work. Do it.

>> No.16976924

>>16976883
Idk, she's kind of autistic, but not autistic enough to post on 4chan.

>> No.16976969

>>16976336
serves you right

>> No.16976992

>>16976924
>Calling her autistic
Now you better really hope she doesn't find this thread or that date on Thursday won't be happening.

>> No.16976996

>>16976992
>implying I'm not calling myself autistic too

>> No.16977004

>>16976992
Lol she's way into me, date's def happening. Probably gonna get head too

>> No.16977014

>>16977004
Women know by the second date if they're going to fuck him or not.

>> No.16977035

>>16977004
Well, let us know what she says about the poem.

>> No.16977062

>>16976336
Has she texted you yet? You really should have listened to people on this thread and touched up the poem. Also, does she even like poetry?

>> No.16977088

>>16977062
No, we keep texting to a minimum. Why text when you can do all the talking in person? That said, I don't even know if she likes poetry. But if she's going to date me, she's going to have to. Even it doesn't work out, at least I got some source material from the time I invested into her. Oh well, on to the next one.

>> No.16977090

It's extremely cringe. I'm not talking about the content of the poem itself, but the fact that you think it's a good idea to send this to her after one date. That's really thick for having only met her once. I'm a grill and if I received this I would run for the hills.

>> No.16977098

>>16977090
>I'm a grill

Prove it. Post feet w/ timestamp.

>> No.16977164

>>16977090
You will never be a woman

>> No.16977196

>>16977090
L O N D O N
O
N
D
O
N

>> No.16977224

>>16977090
please be my wife,
anyonymous female,
the fire of my loins,
the love of my life

my waking moments,
are only of you,
a house, a child, a farm
to be soon

I dream of your bosom,
I dream of your skin,
I wouldn't even care
if we were next of kin

I love you

>> No.16977230
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16977230

>>16977224
t.

>> No.16978128

>>16977090
Hard disagree. Also, you're likely inflicted by some degree of mental instability if you're posting on 4chan.

>> No.16978135

>>16977090
The poem's hilariously awful though, no doubt (sorry OP)

>> No.16978569

>>16977088
If you like poetry, you should at least learn some basics before writing it.

>> No.16978668

>>16978569
>you should at least learn some basics before writing it

Care to expound, fren?

>> No.16978718

>>16978668
Not him, but learning meter is probably the number one thing you should learn if you want to write poetry, especially poetry that rhymes.

>> No.16978730

>>16973148
Second date might be a little fast to tell her she stole your heart. But I am no expert.

>> No.16978739

>>16978668
Go to the sticky for some good books that teach a lot of the fundamentals of poetry. I did and got The Ode Less Traveled. It was fantastic and now I can write decent poetry and I appreciate it a lot more.

>> No.16978795
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16978795

>>16975301
Beautiful. You're truly the next great Romantic

>> No.16978917

>>16975301
OP send her this, this is one of the best poems i've ever seen.

>> No.16979140

>cali
No one from California likes hearing this. Just say California beauty.

>stole
I think this "stole" my heart thing is boring and overused. What does it even mean. Your heart is still yours you just love them.

>a poem about the virus
No.

I'm not reading the rest. This is gay.

>> No.16979972

>>16975631
this

>> No.16980683
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16980683

>>16976336
So what's the scoop anon? She responded yet?

>> No.16980705
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16980705

>>16976336

>> No.16980742

>>16973148
Are you actually an elementary schooler? This is like what I used to think poems were like when I was 10.

>> No.16980843

>>16973148
Holy shit the first poem actually worked?
Good job lad, I'm proud of you.

>> No.16980896

>>16973148
I don't like this kind of love poem that is too in-your-face and has no abstraction, it's just too childlike and embarrassing. That said, she probably wouldn't give a shit and just find it cute if you don't give it to her before it's socially acceptable, which I see here >>16976336 that you fucked up and did. She's not guaranteed to be put off by that, but there's a very high chance that she will. Thank your lucky fucking stars if you even get a reply.