Write What's On Your Mind

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Write What's On Your Mind Anonymous Mon Jan 4 14:02:01 2021 No.17200804 [Reply] [Original]

Last thread
>>17174441

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6YMCjpfH0c

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 14:04:40 2021 No.17200824 Names of units of measurement (hertz, joule, newton, ohm, volt, ampere, etc. etc.) fit so perfectly you can't help but believe in fate and determinism.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 14:05:37 2021 No.17200829 >>17200804 Lana Del Rey is a queen I love her music so much I imagine her music is what 1950s Southern California was like

Anonymous Mon Jan 4 14:11:50 2021 No.17200867

i'm so lonely bros i don't know where to find friends. going out isn't an option. everything is "zoom" these days but meeting a group of strangers online via video seems awkward. have attempted using discord but it's filled with detestable people. this site is absolute garbage but at least people are honest and when someone's sincere you know they truly are sincere

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 14:12:33 2021 No.17200875 >>17200829 She is so much better than other pop music it is sort of embarrassing

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 14:20:53 2021 No.17200942 >>17200804 I just saw the phrase "pearls of wisdom" and I immediately thought it was slang for cum. It's over. I can't go back anymore.

Anonymous Mon Jan 4 14:21:54 2021 No.17200949
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Where to go from here?

Truly flipped my perspective around: I hate to admit it but all these years of suffering was self-imposed because I wanted it so that I could fuel my own ego. It is hard to change because deep down I still want to be a khv incel as being so confirms my beliefs about the world and myself - that I am someone that I am not and that I have always been someone that I am not. Essentially, all my suffering was caused by myself. Not just in how I reacted to things, but how I continually brought on more suffering so as to validate myself somehow. I am a fucking awful human being by every metric. That statement isn't some kind of self-loathing but in fact a revelation: I am unhappy because I choose to be, and because of this, I am a person no one would like to be around as I do things that I shouldn't be doing if I wanted friends. Yet I complain about not having friends, thinking that it is an external problem. I always dismissed other's saying it was a problem with the sufferer that he has no friends, but reading this seemingly simple book made me reason my past experiences differently.

Has any book changed your perspective dramatically?

Also, what makes a good poem and why?

Anonymous Mon Jan 4 14:24:56 2021 No.17200982

i keep listning to this song over and over again, its pure 90s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MznHdJReoeo

these lyrics are so on point

I was alive and I waited, waited
I was alive and I waited for this
Right here, right now
There is no other place I want to be
Right here, right now
Watching the world wake up from history

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 14:28:59 2021 No.17201011 >>17200982 >pure 90s for me it's https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPvhKV3Yg2k

Anonymous Mon Jan 4 14:29:49 2021 No.17201014
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>read anywhere from 1 to 6 book chapters a day
>read anywhere from 5 to 10 manga chapters a day
>watch 3 anime episodes per day
>watch 1 movie per day
Don't care about being called a consoomer, my backlogs are going to be empty by the end of the year.

Anonymous Mon Jan 4 14:33:22 2021 No.17201034

I believe in self reliance and getting things done. Only you can be the change you wish to see. You are the creator of your own destiny. The only thing that really matters is that you get out of the way of yourself. You can't be worried about what others will think of you, or what your friends or family will say about you. You can't be worried about your job, or your health, or your finances, or your marriage, or your family. You just have to do. Bash through the roadblocks and go. Don't live for the sake of others, follow your true inner purpose and ideals.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 14:35:36 2021 No.17201049 You need to be a participant. Don't hold back. Participate and engage. Quit self sabotaging. Do you have a dream? Make that dream, or you will never feel complete or free.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 14:37:51 2021 No.17201066 When we sell our time, we sell our lives

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 15:33:53 2021 No.17201497 >>17201066 no, you trade your time with the time of someone else

Anonymous Mon Jan 4 15:34:56 2021 No.17201500
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Menial physical labour actually feels more fullfilling than my studies; it feels like i'm actually doing something tangible. It's weird. I'll actually do more productive things at home on days where i've already worked 8-10 hours like cooking, cleaning, studying and reading. On days where I have nothing I need to do i'll probably just spend my entire day sleeping and browsing the internet. Maybe boomers were right all along.

Anonymous Mon Jan 4 17:48:33 2021 No.17202707
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“Zero, the glimmer from Narcissus-no- the glimmer’s glimmer in the spectacle of the pool is that zero, somewhere I know yet cannot grasp. It is everywhere yet nowhere, my panic grabs me not with quivering hands, nor the slough of temptation, morbid curiosity drowning the atmosphere in a dull and heavy French red. But what is this monologue if not death asphyxiation with eyes of cherries plucked from the vine and placed before my courtly dance? Is the King home? Shall I entertain his daughter? King who?, King Him? King Whom? Where is the Queen? Queen Misses? Miss the Misses. With an empty court my dance is heel first and spine oriented, directions are arbitrary and panic imperative. How high can one jump when no one is looking? But is “that” looking? Does it look all the time? I wonder if “that” considers the panic in my style. Courtly processions and embroidered pastries that feed the mouths of none as the standing light tower shines the floor tiles previous to the succeeding move. “That” that sees my dead move, complete, only sees that one moment. Maybe “that” thing is that neo-zero, the post-zero or what comes after zero yet that it is not I or II. 0+0 is not 0, it is adding zero onto zero which means zero has its duplication in the realm of the living. 0+0=0 with that final zero being “that” yet remaining a unique zero that requires equation to prove it.”

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 17:55:10 2021 No.17202776 Learning a language is such a commitment.

Anonymous Mon Jan 4 18:17:07 2021 No.17202993

>>17200949
>It is hard to change because deep down I still want to be a khv incel as being so confirms my beliefs about the world and myself

I think this is a really important point and one that a lot of incels need go reflect upon. I have total sympathy toward incels but I have nothing but misgivings toward the 'incel community' and label because it allows individuals to begin self identifying as incels and then subconsciously viewing inceldom as some sort of essential and unchanging condition rather than a temporary state of being. They will moan and cry about being incels, but they in fact DO NOT WANT TO STOP BEING INCELS because at that point they stop being that very thing by which they have come to base their very identity upon and changing our identities is terrifying. I want to stress that this happens on a largely subconscious level (although I wonder how many incels are secretly conscious of this fact but consciously repress it). It is pure jouissance, inceldom is a painful state of being that in theory one wants to escape and for incels it is the failure to escape is a source of further pain. At the same time, bring unable to escape allows the incel to keep identifying 'as incel' and therefore keeping their view of themselves whole and in tact, keeping them in a state of painful-comfort and preventing them of having to take the actually painful (but ultimately liberatory) steps of leaving inceldom. By leaving inceldom I do not mean having sex (although this is of course the most literal way of leaving inceldom), I mean by stopping identifying oneself by the label incel and living for ones own self, rather than defining themselves by an externally imposed label. This is of course why people can have sex and still be incels, and why people can be celibate and not be an incel at all.

Anonymous Mon Jan 4 18:17:17 2021 No.17202994

>>17200804
Spending good time at a friends. I have been here since new years.
I have created much ugliness in my life, while trying very hard to beautify it. I have tried so hard, but still so much ugliness is created. Perhaps, by valuing beauty so much, all I have done is made myself hyper-sensitive and averse to ugliness, and so now all I notice is the lack of beauty. It is possible the struggle for beauty is in fact ugly.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 18:20:16 2021 No.17203024 >>17201011 pavement are a lot better than the 90s

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 18:21:17 2021 No.17203036 >>17200824 In another reality some other people could've discovered these concepts and you'd say the exact same thing

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 19:08:35 2021 No.17203471 I'm pretty sure I died one of these last days. It has to be how else would I feel this dead and empty right now? My soul has some unfinished business here on earth. Fuck. This feeling sucks so much.

Anonymous Mon Jan 4 19:33:27 2021 No.17203721

women are so fucking retarded, instead of just making food normally they try to turn it into a little five course meal for a mouse. what is the point of making ten things if there's only one bite of each? just because you're 4 feet tall doesn't mean i am you fucking little perfumed munchkin, i need calories you god damn bitch, don't ever tell me you "saved some for me" ever again if you mean you saved one single bite, i'd rather have nothing than a BITE, i'll fucking bite YOU

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 19:38:38 2021 No.17203764 >>17200824 They're literally just named after the guys who discovered them, there is nothing inherent in their properties that makes those names "fit"

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 19:39:42 2021 No.17203770 >>17203721 What the hell are you even talking about?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 19:40:26 2021 No.17203777 >>17203770 I think his hunger is making him a bit moody

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 19:40:29 2021 No.17203778 >>17203764 But what are the chances that the guy who discovered the volt would be named Volt?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 19:40:38 2021 No.17203780 >>17203764 oh please, imagine if a unit of measurement was called the MacArthur or the Ramanujan. Wouldnt fit at all.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 19:43:34 2021 No.17203799 >>17203780 I dunno man, saying something is 30 rams or 50 macs sounds pretty good to me

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 19:49:36 2021 No.17203845 File: 117 KB, 1280x1799, sd3e1q.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] When did "toots" run out of fashion?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 19:51:25 2021 No.17203859 File: 693 KB, 320x246, daddyawoken.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>17202776 >miss a day >feels like you forgot everything

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 19:52:51 2021 No.17203872 >>17203845 right after "broad"

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 19:55:06 2021 No.17203890 File: 483 KB, 1538x2048, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] i had a dream that anna khachiyan let me be her personal paypig

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 20:29:22 2021 No.17204186 File: 1.80 MB, 1603x1059, 1515432994003.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] was on this board everyday for years, reading hundreds of books left haven't read a book in 3 years

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 20:30:38 2021 No.17204197 To a degree it is possible to switch off that voice in your brain that tells you "life sucks" and "existing is pain" but then you need to be careful not to fall into passivity.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 20:30:58 2021 No.17204203 >>17203799 Changing my name to Coomer and inventing some kind of metric

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 20:37:45 2021 No.17204253 >>17203799 a mac is a mackerel filet

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 20:38:23 2021 No.17204257 >>17203890 >that's a man

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 20:39:26 2021 No.17204266 >>17203845 Wow that's disgusting. What's the source so that I can stare at other disgusting Braphogs like in pic related? ?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 20:39:50 2021 No.17204269 File: 529 KB, 1269x1051, 1607149239538.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I need to be fucked. Please, bend me over and have your way with me. I need it

Anonymous Mon Jan 4 20:41:23 2021 No.17204279

>>17200804
My problem is that I'm an aristocrat born among peasants. My father never knew the value of creation or learning for learning's sake, in fact he can't even do "hillbilly" (his words) things like fix a fucking four-wheeler. I'm going to move across the world and abandon them to mediocrity while I arise to the level of aristocrat.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 20:55:21 2021 No.17204377 >>17200804 I've been happily lurking in this board just reading, never writing, but something that happened today in my family has made me want to start writing, so I will.

Anonymous Mon Jan 4 20:56:58 2021 No.17204392
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>>17203845
I really like your picture anon. I too am infatuated with women of proud and strong Midwestern stock.
Please tell me she's not an anthropomorphized MLP character
>>17204266
Sundown, on Pixiv

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 20:57:59 2021 No.17204400 >>17204269 god same. I need to be filled, dick or peg I don’t care

Anonymous Mon Jan 4 21:05:50 2021 No.17204436

>>17201014
fucking based

>>17200867
sorry to hear that bro, loneliness seems awful and hard to intervene it

>>17201066
yes, Senecanon

>>17201500
idem, I love helping my pops with the farm

>>17202776
totally, I've been recently trying to not lose the habit completely, and have duolingo, memrise and put my phone in my learning language to exercise even a bit when I don't have time

>>17204186
everybody in here shits on this board, but it has actually gave me pretty good recs, and although a lot of the discourse can be a bit repetitive, the meaningful discussions and the encountering of well read anons is totally worth it IMO

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 21:05:57 2021 No.17204437 Sometimes I'll post total nonsense on here and people respond with huge effortposts, I hit them with more nonsense, they continue trying... makes me feel kind of bad even though it's funny. Maybe I dont have the constitution to be a troll.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 21:26:55 2021 No.17204560 >>17204392 >Sundown, on Pixiv Thanks, I just came

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 21:27:36 2021 No.17204563 Does anyone else get furious when one chapter in the book is like four times longer than any other? Fucks up my whole schedule

Anonymous Mon Jan 4 21:52:10 2021 No.17204708

>>17199801
>Just stop it already, virgin. That's not how it goes. When your wife finds a better man she will leave you on a whim. Oh, but look at my life everything is perfect, my wife loves me, my kids love life is good. Good for you. Now take a look at reality. Your wife might get cancer next year, your child might kill itself. Now what? Your stupid care won't be a worth a dime. Reality is not your pink painted plushy world you see in disney.

your wife might get cancer, now it's your turn to be strong for her. the inevitability of tragedy does not unwrite the good that exists elsewhere. you began by saying "nobody will ever care", like it was a fact. i called you out on your mopey self defeating bullshit and now you've changed it to "even if they do care they're going to die - where are you then?" so again, you aren't really saying noone will ever care, you are crying that love and comfort will never be unconditional - you are a weak, pathetic little crybaby, screeching down others because you cannot return to the womb. who is asking for a disney reality? there is meaning in struggle, fleeting reprieves and the bonds of loyalty and love, even after they are broken.

this began, you will recall, because an 18 year old was asking for help with his anxiety dealing with other people, and your solution was to give up on people altogether - because they will not be your final redemption.

i don't care if you people want to rot, i just wish you miserable people would keep to yourselves, but this, i guess, is your final pleasure, your final outlet, your final grasp at power, dragging the vulnerable down with you so you feel vindicated in your failures and less alone.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 21:58:18 2021 No.17204743 >>17204560 I thought you said braphogs disgust you.

Anonymous Mon Jan 4 22:03:01 2021 No.17204767

lonely white men on the internet are the new enemy
they tell the white man we are monsters, we are evil, there will be hell to pay for the past
they keep the white man pacified with little dopamine hits
video games, anime, pornography, media
just comfortable enough to keep him in the cage
the anger and resentment channeled into virtual aggression
heaven forbid that this present "white plague" become flesh
its ironic how fucking dumb the educated class of this country is

Anonymous Mon Jan 4 22:04:28 2021 No.17204775

The young men of today crave discipline. They were raised to worship nihilistic rebels like Bart Simpson and now they crave the sense of purpose and routine that accompanies a solid work ethic. This is so blatantly obvious who has spent 5 minutes online that it is barely worth stating. But where does one find this discipline? My entire life I have been primed and prepped for white collar work. I could quit and become a line cook or a longshoreman but we all know I won't and you won't because we've already invested too much into our comfortable lives even as they make us miserable and we're cowards too afraid to pursue anything that runs counter to the tastes and expectations of our bourgeois upbringings.

Anonymous Mon Jan 4 22:07:18 2021 No.17204782

do you see the lights of europa
a beacon of hope and brightness
in an abyss of darkness?
the beam that reveals the path ahead
that guides us onward and forward
the beam that reveals the path ahead
that guides us onward and forward
the purpose is not lost, we have a mission
to uphold the glory of civilization
to fulfill the dream within our grasp
to discover our destiny
rediscover the path
and things will be restored

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 22:07:19 2021 No.17204783 I'm finally starting to see some success with my first book, and I'm quite happy about it. I have no idea if it'll ever "catch," but I'm very proud of my work and am excited to release the sequels out into the world.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 22:36:29 2021 No.17204956 I'm so god damn horny. Tonight I'm going to my girlfriend to fuck her brains out. God I hate her guts.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 22:42:56 2021 No.17204992 >>17204956 based

Anonymous Mon Jan 4 22:43:38 2021 No.17204999 [DELETED]

>>17204956
Do you still want to fuck your gf in the same way, even though you hate her? As soon as I really get to know a woman and we settle into it being an official relationship, I stop being as attracted to them, and start desiring other girls. I can still fuck them but it isn't exciting anymore, it's not really lust or desire, it's just mechanical. Like all the magic washed off their bodies and sex is not a kind of masturbation.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 22:43:45 2021 No.17205000 ideology is a magic trick magic has no power if you dont let it

Anonymous Mon Jan 4 22:45:18 2021 No.17205011

>>17204956
Do you still want to fuck your gf in the same way, even though you hate her? As soon as I really get to know a woman and we settle into it being an official relationship, I stop being as attracted to them, and start desiring other girls. I can still fuck them but it isn't exciting anymore, it's not really lust or desire, it's just mechanical. Like all the magic washed off their bodies and sex is now a kind of masturbation.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 22:47:48 2021 No.17205028 >>17200804 I'm completely shitfaced. Just like every other day off. What should I read

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 22:49:27 2021 No.17205042 Everything we say is history. This website is the ideological battleground of the 21st century.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 22:49:37 2021 No.17205045 >>17205028 Hemingway

Anonymous Mon Jan 4 23:03:58 2021 No.17205155
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>>17200804
I have invented a speculum for easily inserting an entire carton of chilled chicken eggs inside your body cavity. From the R&D process I can tell you that you will have a very different user experience depending on the viscosity and base chemistry of the lubricant you choose to lubricate your eggs with. Initial testing with no lubrication or an abrasive media indicated a poor user experience, with the most common complaint being a partial prolapse or complete impaction requiring medical intervention . For the best user experience a food grade oil based chemistry is recommended.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 23:05:29 2021 No.17205161 I have nothing but contempt for incels and hope they suffer immensely

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 23:05:47 2021 No.17205165 >>17200949 Ouch, important but hard pill to swallow. Good for you. Now stop being a cunt and live a good life

Anonymous Mon Jan 4 23:16:29 2021 No.17205251

>>17205011
Ive been with mine 20 years and recently our sex has been better than ever. I took mushrooms for a while and practiced some kind of reiki mushroom sex magic where i was putting energy into her and really connecting on a physical/energy level. This is completely nonesense in a sober materialist world but i have figured out a new perspective to operate sexually that is very masculine and l have started giving her multiple orgasms and generally fucking her brains out. When we were younger it was good and bad but it became mechanical and perfunctory. Figuring out this weird feedback loop where i am putting energy into her with my body brings her more pleasure which brings me more pleasure. I think this is what tantra is supposed to be about. I just accidentally figured it would while tripping with a face full of pussy.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 23:27:48 2021 No.17205337 >>17205042 It astonishes me the extent to which every mode of discussion, even in-person, has become so defective.

Anonymous Mon Jan 4 23:41:33 2021 No.17205424

is it possible to buy or build a gaming computer that doesn't sound like a hair dryer? i need to get a windows box so i can do cross platform development, but after getting used to the silence of macbook pros, the sound of the fan on some big honkin' 1000 watt powersupply is just not appealing

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 23:42:59 2021 No.17205432 >>17205424 liquid cooling

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 23:44:55 2021 No.17205443 >>17205432 is that hella expensive or just a matter of setting it up yourself?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 23:52:59 2021 No.17205485 I definitely got a lot stupider during 2020. Didn't read shit, didn't release any apps, didn't create any art, didn't make any music, didn't do jack shit. Now I'm so out of practice when I try to do anything, I just sit there like my brain is fried.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 4 23:54:43 2021 No.17205495 >>17205443 I think it's much more routine/affordable than it used to be. Not a computer expert though. But if you want silence, that's the way around fans

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 00:15:29 2021 No.17205580 I've spent thousands of dollars commissioning romance fiction on Fiverr because I'm too lazy to write my own. I think I'm addicted. There are around 3 worthwhile authors on the site, all others I've found are varying degrees of bad.

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 00:21:48 2021 No.17205598
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Ive built a connection with this girl in ukraine over the past couple months through voice chats and messages everyday, but i cant get over the fact that shes slept with 3 dudes. Idk if we are even in a relationship or not but im 20, 21 in april, and am socially autistic so this is the first time Ive ever talked to a girl for more than a single day.

Anyways this makes me worried for the future, if i ever do get into a relationship is this just something ill never get past? Im a virgin myself, in me in a just 2 conflicting beliefs because on one hand i feel like its just sex and shouldnt matter, but in the other i also feel its something sacred i dont fucking know.

Even if i decided to do something like wait till marriage or try to find another girl virgin, at my age it it just seems fucking impossible, I was talking to a friend, he told me about two other friends that are girls we both knew, one slept with 20 dudes, the other around 12. maybe i should go to church again or convert to islam i dont fucking know.

It makes me angry that i care so much because personality wise this ukranian girl is pretty nice and shes really into me asking how i am and how my day was, genuinely she likes me , but i would never consider anything long term despite all her perfections. She says she has high standards, so why shave casual sex? Idk why i place so much fucking value on it, i feel like i should resolve this somehow but i don't know how. Maybe i should pray

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 00:26:39 2021 No.17205618 >>17205598 personally i think you're being a little ridiculous and should probably get over it. but whatever, your life, have whatever standards you want I guess

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 00:27:32 2021 No.17205624

>>17205598
>Im a virgin myself, in me in a just 2 conflicting beliefs because on one hand i feel like its just sex and shouldnt matter, but in the other i also feel its something sacred i dont fucking know.

This is just bourgeois prudishness. Sex is mundane and everybody has it. That doesn't necessarily mean it isn't sacred, but the more you have sex the less you will put it on a pedestal so to speak. Three partners is nothing and your neurosis arises from your lack of experience. I am not belittling you, when I was a virgin I used to feel physically ill when watching sex scenes in movies or even looking at bikini models on billboards because I had built sex up to be something it wasn't. Your parents have sex, your boss has sex, your dogs and cats have sex. It is what it is.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 00:28:54 2021 No.17205631 >>17200804 mind your thread 4chan clover green ass funny gas jewish israel potus bro-tus president is my bro american america USA USA guns USA guns texas hot leg so hot u fry an eg women hate sad virgin sad hateful virgin gonna die alone nice

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 00:33:05 2021 No.17205654 Since no one is gonna read this I hate being the person that everybody goes to when they have no else one to talk to. Is it bad that I want a somewhat quality conversation from time to time?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 00:37:06 2021 No.17205673 >>17205598 Ukranian women are still women, don't think she is exempt for negative traits.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 00:39:17 2021 No.17205689 >>17204269 London?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 00:42:00 2021 No.17205705 >>17205580 PLEASE BE IN LONDON

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 00:45:46 2021 No.17205729 >wake up in the middle of the night >sleep paralysis demons try to steal my soul >say the jesus prayer to myself over and over >they get bored and leave >go back to sleep

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 00:59:53 2021 No.17205786

I'm reverse-cycling. I'm asleep for most of the day and awake the whole night. But my constitution has weakened. I actively WANT to sleep, right now! Only I can't. My apartment has thin walls, no soundproofing. There's a butcher's right below my apartment, he starts the day at 6pm (the time I'm usually trying to fall asleep) and he turns on machines that whirr so loudly, the noise fills up my bedroom like smoke. My neighbours are an old couple. The woman is a deranged shrew. She hates her husband and screams at him all the time. She screams at their dog, at her grandkids. The apartment above mine is occupied by an overweight middle-aged couple. The man calls his wife names all the time and yells at her. Every time the butcher cleaves meat, I can not only hear it, but feel it too. As if the vibration travels through the cement. My family has advised me against sleeping pills. I seriously feel like I'm having a mental episode because I've never wanted to sleep so desperately, but been so helpless and unable to.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 01:09:05 2021 No.17205837 File: 34 KB, 596x160, 6F98341B-5D2C-4808-8E70-2AE2B64587AD.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] /lit/ be like:

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 01:10:41 2021 No.17205845

>>17205786
I have the same issue. There is too much noise from the street to sleep before midnight, and the street noise in the morning starts up at between 6-8 often with giant refrigerated delivery trucks on the sidewalk right below my window, so if you want a good night's sleep you have to be asleep by 12. Still sometimes you get a trash truck making noise for a half hour at 3am, or maybe some drugged up wacko is just walking down the street shouting into the night. Any events like that subtract from the total sleep hours available. If you rent a place in the city, try to find a room that faces away from the street. Moreover, if you can afford it, the higher you can go the less intrusive the noise will be. If you're on a budget though, chances are you end up on the second floor right over a cross street. I am tired all the time.

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 01:14:55 2021 No.17205865

>>17205837
Gays could be fine in theory, in their present instantiation they are all retarded sex addict pedophiles with prolapsed anuses and serious narcissism problems but they could just be a minority of homos in a more civilized society. But race mixing is always bad.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 01:18:29 2021 No.17205887 >>17200824 Newton refutes you desu, fig Newton is a more fitting and appropriate use for it than force

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 01:36:38 2021 No.17205961

probably not the best place to seek for guidance but i don't know what type of person i want to be. the problem is that i am a woman and that i admire a lot of men. i like male figures. i don't know what kind of female role model to look up to that's applicable or easy to grasp in the 21st century. i do think the same guidelines generally apply for both genders, but i also think that the paths are different.

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 01:59:23 2021 No.17206044

>>17205845
>>17205786

I hear you guys. I used to sleep in a room right up next to a train line and the lack of sleep sent me into a manic episode that landed me in hospital. Everyone told me I'd get used to the most eventually but in 2 years it never happened.

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 01:59:31 2021 No.17206046

>>17205961
Read Camille Paglia's Sexual Personae
>The female body is a chthonian machine, indifferent to the spirit who inhabits it.

She will at least exhaust the feminine archetypes such as they have appeared before. Women need to create their own archetypes going forward. It has to be a genuine act of creation too, some kind of higher synthesis. The existing models are impersonal dionysian sexuality, maternality, viragos (imitations of men), and various degenerate mixtures spawned by late capitalism (irresponsible whore, cool wine aunt, barren shrew, submissive pathetic tradwife, unfulfilled activist, sexless dyke in denial that both women in the relationship want to be THE woman in the relationship). Either God created woman just to suffer, or some kind of higher form of womanhood is waiting to be created which will seem obvious in hindsight but which is invisible to us now.

Men have the good fortune that we're always building on what came before us. It's fun to be a man, you can look back at Caesar and imagine yourself as him and your soul gets a boner. Women have no Caesar yet, but that means the first woman Caesar will be a pretty big deal. Also, importantly, men probably can't tell you what it will look like, since it has to be uniquely feminine creative act.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 02:00:28 2021 No.17206049 >>17205961 What is it that you admire in the male figures?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 02:26:26 2021 No.17206155 >>17206049 the penis

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 02:30:48 2021 No.17206167 >>17204743 Different anon, although I'm sure he came too

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 02:34:17 2021 No.17206176 >>17200942 The phrase "pearls before swines" must be creating some interesting images for you.

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 02:34:37 2021 No.17206180

>>17206049
in the classical sense i like heroism, the solitary wanderer, the fighter, the nation-maker, the one who sacrifices it all. i don't read much philosophy but i also like the thinkers often posted on /lit/, simply because they were able to pave the way for new ideas. i like reading about people who were able to set themselves apart from the world. although the same problem applies here for men too, who get too infatuated with romanticized images of masculinity, and have no way to apply it in the real world. still, it's better than no image at all, i think.

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 02:39:39 2021 No.17206194

>>17206180
how long do you plan to spend daydreaming about this before prioritizing getting a husband who you can build a stable family with? if you're not at least on the track to marrying a guy by age 25 your chances drop off precipitously because prime men see you as past your prime, increasing every additional year exponentially

you don't want to be one of those women who finds her soulmate at 30, vets him by 32, rushes to have a baby at 33, actually has one by 34, and it's autistic as fuck. the sooner you get started the better

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 02:56:04 2021 No.17206247 >>17206194 i have already thought about this. >you don't want to be one of those women who finds her soulmate at 30 i am interested in knowing where you would suggest finding a soulmate in this day and age and pandemic era.

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 02:58:59 2021 No.17206256

I hate that i cannot either give up or unshackle.
Something holds me up from completely descending into pure apathy and uncaring. I imagine it as a small and bright orb of hope.
However once i try to escape my current situation i feel like something grabs my legs and drags me into the "comfortable" situation.
Im probably mentally ill.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 03:01:35 2021 No.17206270 >>17206247 /lit/

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 03:12:01 2021 No.17206320 >>17202994 You are too good and sincere for this world anon. Don't give in to the struggle and become another hopeless cynic.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 03:14:09 2021 No.17206335 >>17204767 >its ironic how fucking dumb the educated class of this country is Perhaps, but they are winning, and what have we done to fight them?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 03:15:06 2021 No.17206339 >>17204767 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mFKaqP9RgvU

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 03:16:24 2021 No.17206345 >>17205011 Sounds like you have the infamous Madonna-whore complex. More common than you think.

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 03:22:39 2021 No.17206364
File: 26 KB, 447x679, 61hOC7CQP4L._SY679_.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

My chest has been hurting for a long time. I saw the doctor for it a year ago and he said its chostocondritis after listening with a stethoscope and prescribed me some anti-inflammatory and painkillers.

I finished one course and it didn't really help so i went back in a couple of weeks and I asked him if I could get an x-ray and he wasn't happy but he gave me a signed request anyway, and another round of pills. This was a year ago. I never got the x-ray done because it was around that time that Covid was becoming a thing and I didn't want to go to a clinic.

I read that most cases of costochondritis should resolve in a year or so but mine hasn't gone away. I'm paranoid about it being cancer or a tumor or spurious growth. But right now covid is full blown retard mode and I don't know what I should do. I think I'll call the x-ray clinic and tell them I forgot about the slip and if I need to go see the doctor again or would they just do the x-ray.

I hate healthcare in Canada. You can't just pick up the phone and call the doctor that's treating you. I hope I don't hajve cancer

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 03:22:46 2021 No.17206367 >>17206247 How old are you? Are you in college or working a job?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 03:27:17 2021 No.17206382 rewatched watchmen, so satisfying to watch rorshach FRY that fucking NIGGER

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 03:33:28 2021 No.17206403 >>17206367 graduated recently. have been applying for jobs but prospects don't look good because the system has shat itself

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 03:38:33 2021 No.17206415 File: 25 KB, 500x398, 69b.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>17206364 https://vocaroo.com/1nMxzGNsmIBM

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 03:39:36 2021 No.17206422 File: 83 KB, 300x493, nigger.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>17206382

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 03:40:46 2021 No.17206425

>>17206403
Did you try looking for men in college? Successful college men, often in fraternities or on the path to becoming young professionals, offer stability and can make for good husbands once they mature beyond their young 20's. They might not be the ideal great men you have conjured up in your head, but the world is not as it once was.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 03:50:24 2021 No.17206457 i am in a paradise of unlimited leisure but i feel nothing the silence of the masses is enforced by the total society.

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 03:51:40 2021 No.17206460

I cannot stop writing like an asshole. I don’t know why I refuse to write seriously. When it comes to scripts I’m fine. Lyrics, ok I guess. Comic writing, sure. Yet every time I get to literature of any form, I cannot just not be an ass. There’s a reason why I was compared to Monty Python. I knew I could get away with writing just about anything in my essays in high school as long as I followed the prompt, so I would intentionally make the most satirical or ridiculous essays just to fuck with my teachers. It was fun in games then but I think it’s ruined my ability to write normally ever again. That’s all I did, was fuck with them and it brought me so much joy. I can’t help myself.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 04:19:24 2021 No.17206550 >>17206364 Ignore fucking Covid and go to the doctor. Christ.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 05:21:49 2021 No.17206756 It's better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all, I guess...

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 05:41:07 2021 No.17206818

After class consciousness has been achieved, there will be a new, true individualism that emerges where the individual is finally free from the exploitative production relations. This new individualism is, in itself, a historical moment; it is a contingent and conditioned change of the forms of the ethical and political individual that has led to the new individual consciousness. In this way our situation today, having been institutionalized under the provisions of the governmental organization of the all-embracing totality, will become a relic of the past.

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 05:44:05 2021 No.17206832

I wanted to start reading again
I am currently reading Haruki Murakami's Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki
and I have to say I absolutely loathe and can barely read the first 20 pages
>woe is me, completely average person
>my character and plot is forced as fuck
>have you noticed that i have 2 female and 2 male friends? this means that they can form a pair you see!!
>all my friends are literally perfect but im average oh the humanity!!
is my mental illness fucking with me or this is truly shit
i cant enjoy anything anymore

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 05:48:49 2021 No.17206844 It gets harder and harder to stop. My hands are getting soaked from the mixture. Get my hands slippery with it all. Ive only slept maybe 6 hours and fapped 15 times in 3 days

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 05:49:22 2021 No.17206846
File: 981 KB, 1538x2476, 918aG25s4OL.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>17206832
Sounds like complete fucking garbage. Nothing I've read in discussion of Murakami has sounded like it wasn't for former patrons of /r9k/. Peurile drek.

Here check out this fun and witty book instead. You should have a good time when you're reading, and there's no greater time than going for a sporting romp with the lads through the London countryside and getting into wily misunderstandings and adventures.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 05:50:48 2021 No.17206851 >>17206832 Nah dude, I generally like Murakami but that book is dog shit. I made myself finish it since it only took a day or two anyway, but if you're not feeling it just drop it - it doesn't really get better.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 05:55:26 2021 No.17206869 I look in your eyes, your eyes look in mine, and we trade gazes. I play with my greedy pussy lips, I open and close my thighs around your meat, I want to feel your big Han Chinese cock into my hot cunt

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 05:55:33 2021 No.17206871
File: 75 KB, 440x660, 1609577906992.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I'm about to finish Heart of Darkness and I don't know if I should rea with To the Lighthouse, Dubliners or Jane Eyre desu.
I'm enjoying reading again after a long time but now I feel I don't have enough time to read everything I want.

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 05:59:26 2021 No.17206885

Vi undrar, är ni redo att vara med?
Armarna upp, nu ska ni få se
Kom igen
Vem som helst kan vara med (Vara med)

Så rör på era fötter, o-a-a-a
Och vicka era höfter, o-la-la-la
Gör som vi
Till denna melodi
O-a, o-a-a

Dansa med oss, klappa era händer
Gör som vi gör, ta några steg åt vänster
Lyssna och lär, missa inte chansen
Nu är vi här med caramelldansen

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 06:06:39 2021 No.17206918 Is it ok if some parts of the Old Testament give me a boner?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 06:53:19 2021 No.17207146 >>17206918 that's why they wrote 'em!

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 07:26:27 2021 No.17207267 >>17206256 Thats called being neurotic.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 07:58:10 2021 No.17207396 I have the finger on the trigger right now, should I do it?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 08:10:53 2021 No.17207466 File: 10 KB, 287x287, 1581420436006.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>17206176

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 08:14:54 2021 No.17207488 >>17203721 dude. have you ever actually had a fancy multi-course meal, or did you just get mad watching tv? the dishes are that small because they're in so many courses. also women had fuck all to do with it.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 08:16:07 2021 No.17207498 >>17207396 why do you want to?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 08:35:29 2021 No.17207596 >>17207488 >have you ever actually had a fancy multi-course meal Thankfully, no. I like all culinary patricians prefer to gorge on a singular food product until fullness.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 08:43:57 2021 No.17207647 >>17207596 tragic

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 08:50:32 2021 No.17207683 [DELETED]

>https://www.nytimes.com/2021/01/05/science/linda-zall-cia.html

so it turns out global warming is something dreamed up by the cia to justify continued outsized expenditures on spy satellites after the collapse of the soviet union. take away of the story is that this woman, linda zall, secretly coordinates the work of "leading climate scientists" for the cia. we've always used it as a way to try to attack and slow china's growth, and this just confirms. i'm sure promoting lgbt rights is also part of our way to project power against our allies. i wish conservative chuds would realize all this "liberal" stuff is how we control the direction of world culture in our favor.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 08:51:45 2021 No.17207693 >>17207488 fucking faggot

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 09:02:29 2021 No.17207766 >>17207693 sad

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 09:23:53 2021 No.17207873

>>17200867
The final stage of irony is playing oneself: To the dumbest and to the most intelligent of my neighbors, I'm exactly the same because I rarely manage appearances or impressions except for their effect on my own eye and ear, something that's more typical of the comic spirit than any other kind. It helps that none of them are pathologically mean, including the ones with a wicked sense of humor, so there's no need to fake being pleased to see them either, or make an effort to cheer them up. It would be an effort to do otherwise. This is because temperament matters more than anything else does, which is terribly easy to forget where the technology of its concealment gives the upper hand to the worst of and in everyone. It can't be emphasized enough that to the degree the internet in general is opaque to the typical user's scrutiny as it users are transparent to the architects & owners of it, that imbalance is entirely deliberate, and almost entirely pernicious as anything else done to murder the agora with purely commercial or virtual encroachments on it. And the only antidote to its effect is to do absolutely anything outside of it, the flimsiest pretext will do. One just shows up without a plan except to improvise, and though 9 times out of 10 nothing much happens, whole decades pass without a disaster more gripping than a contemptuous look. Unless one is looking for trouble.
>>17201066
Likewise, a mind is only as good as its form when idling in the absence of a prompter designating its use.
>>17204437
Conspicuous by its absence on this board is dish about Ibsen's kind of sublime or true troll, whose sadomasochistic itch to bring others down begins in things like Hedda Gabler's pyromania of others' cherished belongings, and climaxes in her suicide by pistol. Her complaints of boredom remind me a little of a high-stimulus-seeking kind of guy I knew who couldn't sit in a garden or stroll a nature trail without his mood imploding from the lack of social drama, or why it is that nothing depresses a true troll, turns its fury inward, like placid charm at any length sufficient for it. I almost never read replies to my posts, but do take a little satisfaction in how much effort some of such trolls make in response on following days, as they spawn threads which attempt to spin the subject or perspective raised in it to their aggrandizement, or gloss, anything and everything self-flattering in postulate or posture or distorted comparison. Their vanity is so goddamn endless that sometimes they're busy testing out variations on the same rhetorical trick for weeks, without ever mentioning the post that rustled their jimmies at the outset of their long campaign. Rather a lot of Goethe's blithely gliding passages & maxims set traps like that--petards that hoist the cunts--though most of them are incomprehensible from the level trolls usually operate from.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 09:49:41 2021 No.17207996 >>17207873 Do you think that people make online personas and become consumed by it where they forget who they are?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 10:11:06 2021 No.17208102 Is the theory / philosophy of aesthetics something worth looking into? Any good sources? (I have no idea about it, so that's why the q may be weirdly stated)

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 10:12:42 2021 No.17208112 >>17208102 I like Schopenhauer's theory of aesthetics desu especially his views on music. It's a very grand and majestic way to think about it.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 10:26:46 2021 No.17208181 America is the worst fucking civilization in human history.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 10:29:23 2021 No.17208195 >>17208181 China is close imo

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 10:35:45 2021 No.17208234

I don't know if I'm gmi lads, I don't think I have the willpower or motivation to not be a lazy degenerate. I go through periods where I'll read several books a week and keep up on my linguistic practice and guitar playing then I'll quickly lapse into even longer spans where I'll do nothing but play mindless repetitive video games and just stream mediocre television/film with no energy to put into anything. Why is motivation such a fickle tart?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 11:24:04 2021 No.17208588 Psych meds are evil. I'd rather risk having a manic psychosis episode once every ten years than permanently imbalance my brain chemistry that determines whether or not I have screeching headaches all day if I forget to take a pill every night.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 11:25:41 2021 No.17208595 >>17208234 Try anchoring habits with a physical activity like walking every day

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 11:31:56 2021 No.17208637 Can't help but feeling I would be happier, healthier, better adjusted, and less poor if I was sent to a public high school than a private christian one. I'm 25 now, and I'm so far behind my peers developmentally, it isn't even funny.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 11:38:44 2021 No.17208683 >>17208637 >public high school As someone who went to a public school, you'd be fucked either way.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 11:39:27 2021 No.17208687 >>17208637 I went to public one. It didnt stop me from being a complete loser.

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 11:43:16 2021 No.17208720 [DELETED]

>>17208637
I went to mix of private and public schools. Mostly the private ones just lacked the bottom scum which constitutes just a large fraction of public school students. I know I'm speaking about children here but a lot of them are just rotten. I never went to a Christian school tho.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 11:43:45 2021 No.17208725 >>17208637 I noticed this in grad school. I always felt the peers from private schools were extremely sheltered. No offence though, Anon.

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 11:46:05 2021 No.17208743

>>17208637
I went to mix of private and public schools. Mostly the private ones just lacked the bottom scum which constitutes a large fraction of public school students. I know I'm speaking about children here but a lot of them are rotten and exposure to that isnt a net positive. You might think bullies, losers, and cretins would have aided your development but I disagree. I never went to a Christian school tho.

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 11:46:10 2021 No.17208745

>>17208725
Mine was fundie, so they intentionally tanked any chances we had of going onto tertiary.

I can read and write greek and latin, sing choir, play the french horn, but can't get anything more than a minimum wage job because I don't have a degree.

Very educated, but that doesn't fucking matter anymore. Accredation does

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 11:50:29 2021 No.17208777 >>17208745 I am not that familiar with the US education system but surely you can transition to a decent state school by taking community college classes?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 11:51:57 2021 No.17208789 >>17208777 I can, but have to make rent too. I work full time now, but would have to either quit and live on savings/loans or work 12 hours a day. I'm mid twenties now, so I don't think I would have the energy for that second option

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 11:53:44 2021 No.17208805

>>17208789
Not to mention finally having a degree eight years behind others my age lmao.

Seriously considering killing myself, I'm so far behind everyone else. Take me years to even get a livable wage because my parents decided to completely fuck over my future

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 11:55:59 2021 No.17208826

The night

Heavy, oppressing air hanging over the houses. The night sky seems to be on fire with cold and damp fire. Everything seems eternally motionless and dead, as if, while I was in the room, the apocalypse had broken out: if this moment could be prolonged for centuries, I would almost say that, as a sort of divine punishment, the world had been covered with vaporized amber that he would have kept it unchanged for eternity.

The day after

The sky, now in the late afternoon, is a metallic gray tending to bluish. I look up, and notice that the metallized chimneys of the tallest building in the neighborhood seem suddenly to be gold plated. This is because in the distance, partially obscured by the houses, come the last flashes of sunlight of the dying day. From that source, all of a sudden, numerous golden fragments detach themselves, which float in the sky altering their shape; they were white birds, probably seagulls, which, covered by the light, glowed with gold like the chimneys of the palace. The light covers the pine behind me, almost as if it were on fire, and finally the source of it disappears, leaving room for darkness: it was night.

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 11:59:00 2021 No.17208851

>>17208805
>>17208789
Your situation is not that desperate. There is still time. There are many people retraining in their 30s even and with side jobs to finance their education. You may not have the typical college experience many young adults have, but college is full of students in their late 20s. Considering your education you will do well, I am sure.

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 12:04:41 2021 No.17208894

>>17208743
This. Exposure to these people in an early age had a very negative effect on me. If it makes anon feel any better, I was suicidal in most of my high school years. If I have children later in life, I would certainly not send them to public school.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 12:07:25 2021 No.17208913 >>17208894 I'm just not going to have kids, even in the best circumstances it's INCREDIBLY cruel and selfish.

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 12:10:58 2021 No.17208941 [DELETED]

File: 134 KB, 1300x1000, Francis_Danby_-_Scene_from_the_Apocalypse_-_WGA5899.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Dreamed that I briefly teleported to my mother's yard to telepathically tell a dog (not hers) that it won't be here forever and that it will leave after death, it was very happy, running through and around some metal half-circles stuck in the dirt. Later, outside her house, I noticed one of my former friend's ex-concubine looking at a vine on the fence. She was taking notes or otherwise being instructed by it. I had a microscopic image of the edges of its leaves, thin rods tapering a point. I held it out and asked her if she had seen it, she said "yes", barely looking at me, trying to play dumb and brush it off. I said that just as the vine tapers to nothing microscopically-materially, so too will it taper to nothing macroscopically-semiotically. She silently walked away. I noticed one of the vine's flowers was torn, looked closer and saw a grasshopper inside of it, eating it.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 12:11:14 2021 No.17208943 I hope A doesn't die of covid. She is the only proof that I'm capable of loving a w*man. I can't stop thinking that for this reason she's destined to have some tragedy happen to her.

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 12:12:49 2021 No.17208954
File: 134 KB, 1300x1000, Francis_Danby_-_Scene_from_the_Apocalypse_-_WGA5899.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Dreamed that I briefly teleported to my mother's yard to telepathically tell a dog (not hers) that it won't be here forever and that it will leave after death, it was very happy, running through and around some metal half-circles stuck in the dirt. Later, outside her house, I noticed one of my former friend's ex-concubine looking at a vine on the fence. She was taking notes or otherwise being instructed by it. I had a microscopic image of the edges of its leaves, thin rods tapering to a point. I held it out and asked her if she had seen it, she said "yes", barely looking at me, trying to play dumb and brush it off. I said that just as the vine tapers to nothing microscopically-materially, so too will it taper to nothing macroscopically-semiotically. She silently walked away. I noticed one of the vine's flowers was torn, looked closer and saw a grasshopper inside of it, eating it.

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 12:26:45 2021 No.17209066
File: 439 KB, 1076x1405, Screenshot_20210105-112410_Amazon Shopping.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>17205443
They're basically modular and just require a case that can accept the radiator, but it's extremely cheap and easy to set up.

The original ones where you had a peltier chip, and had to do your own custom tubing circa 2003 were a pain in the ass

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 12:54:09 2021 No.17209337 The vast majority of homophobia is caused by straight people (incorrectly) believing that gays threaten their monopoly on child abuse. It's ALL projection

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 13:23:12 2021 No.17209557
File: 1.27 MB, 2359x1749, 1608040359431.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>17200804
I've found that my life could truly be better if in a given instance between an easy route and a hard route regarding my decision making, I take the hard route.

Example:
>easier to door dash some mcdonalds
>harder to go to the grocery store and pick up items for a healthy meal

>easier to sit on the couch and watch tv
>harder to head to the gym and get a workout in

>easier to play video games
>harder to work on that novel idea

>easier to socialize over the internet
>harder to do it in person

I'm sure this is obvious to some people, but the fact I can narrow an approach down to a basic formula should help my autistic mind about actually doing somethings I've set out to do.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 13:23:50 2021 No.17209562 >>17208637 There's no "behind developmentally" you fucking retard, it's all in your head, you're just afraid that you stick out. Whatever though, keep being a bitch, clearly you don't have the balls to push whatever you actually believe in.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 13:27:05 2021 No.17209589 >>17209562 t. behind developmentally

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 13:30:33 2021 No.17209621

>>17200804
When was the last time I had a haircut? I think maybe 2018 August, if I had to guess.
Took a shower 3 days ago and thought about not washing my hair to watch it dread.
Dreads look awful though and they feel gross. However Nobody is really looking at me these days.
Outside of my immediate family my face never shows.

Maybe I'll get dreads just to see what happens.

Actually while typing that I just thought about maybe getting a mullet. I've always enjoyed the look.
Met a guy with a mullet once when I was hitching in Arizona. He was a good dude, invited me to a party.
His mullet truly fit him, I wonder if I could pull it off.
Might end up being like tattoo's, they look good on other people but not me.

Wonder if that line of thinking has to do with insecurities. Though I don't really feel insecure about my appearance.

Strange.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 13:37:01 2021 No.17209679 >>17209562 Wow, I didn't know they let normie boomers on this board now. Going golfing in florida this winter pops? Hows social security treating you? Donate enough to Israel this year?

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 13:44:10 2021 No.17209739

>>17209557
I've thought a lot about this idea that happiness and satisfaction come from suffering.
My original thought was based on how the easier my life gets the more depressed I got.

>born middle class
>parents slightly well off
>parents never strict
>never did chores
>placed in resource classes (lower than general education but higher than special education; aka dumb kids class)
>wasn't supposed to graduate highschool; teachers bump my grade to a D just so I could pass even though I did nothing

Life was a breeze, no worries and no responsibilities.
I had never been more depressed than when I was 19 years old, no job, no drivers license, no money, etc.

Parents finally kicked me out after living under their roof doing absolutely nothing for 23 years.
Instead of getting a job I went hobo.
That first night, when the sun set and I realized, "Oh fuck, I need to find a place to sleep." was the happiest day of my life.

Suffering brings satisfaction.

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 13:53:29 2021 No.17209808
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I had a weird experience reading Autobiography of a Yogi as a highschooler. I had this very strong feeling where you'd expect my third eye to be started freaking out. Its hard to describe but it was like the 'noise' you hear when you forcefully close your eyes (especially when you are extremely sleepy). I felt like if I 'gave in' something would happen to me, like an out of body experience. But I was scared so I just let the feeling pass.

I read the book again a few years later but nothing like that ever happened again. Now I'm revisiting it again (another decade later almost) and I started reading up about the Self Realization Fellowship. It seems many people consider it to be sort of a cult, which is unfortunate. There are also rumors that Paramahansa had kids with one of his disciples there in California.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 13:58:02 2021 No.17209841 Not sure why I'm paying into a 401k when I plan on killing myself after 50

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 13:59:00 2021 No.17209849 >>17209841 Why do you plan on killing yourself? Why after 50 specifically?

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 14:36:28 2021 No.17210149

>>17204775
Just graduated from college, this hits a little too hard. Contemplated joining the military before I started as some desperate attempt for discipline but as you mentioned, no way was I going to uproot my life like that. No I just focus on diets, lifting, studying, and no-fap as my ways to build discipline

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 14:37:47 2021 No.17210166 If I go outside now I can make it to buy cigarettes before nightly lockdown times.

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 14:40:58 2021 No.17210185

>>17205654
probably means you're too agreable or boring, I had friend that during conversations would only say "mm" or "yeah" and whenever you asked for their opnion they had a terrible time conveying their point. Basically be more intersting and better at carrying conversations

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 14:45:49 2021 No.17210223 >>17210166 German?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 14:46:53 2021 No.17210232 >>17208181 ok zoomer

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 15:07:19 2021 No.17210377 >>17210223 Yes. After 9 you're not allowed to go out. Still made it luckily.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 15:08:43 2021 No.17210392 https://youtu.be/IBqeC8ihsO8?t=2884 >tfw no innocent qt355/113 North Korean teacher gf Why live?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 15:16:35 2021 No.17210449 >>17208913 people with your mentality shouldn't breed anyway

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 15:17:12 2021 No.17210453 >>17210449 T. Goy neo khazar delta class slave

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 15:47:55 2021 No.17210647 I've bought 4 books but cannot muster any strength to read them.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 16:01:48 2021 No.17210739 >>17210453 Embrace your negative emotions, it's not healthy to strive for happiness all the time. The same applies to children, it's okay for negative emotions to be a part of development.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 16:03:41 2021 No.17210750 >>17210739 Kill yourself. My whole life has been absolute hell. Why the fuck would I sentence another to this shit place. You just want to fuck kids, that's all you breeders are obsessed with. Admit it

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 16:31:33 2021 No.17210986

>>17210750
Life is an interesting thing isn't it.

I often think about how strange it all is. We all woke up one day and were babies.
No questions were asked, nothing to ponder about. Not a single baby that comes into existence questions reality.
Blind acceptance is how we've come all this way. I've noticed the moment we begin to question existence and reality is the moment we begin to dread it.
I've been mostly docile my entire life, aside from the few adventures I retell to every new stranger I come across.

I don't believe life is intended to be good, nor is it evil. It's just life.
The more questions you ask the worse it gets, ignorance is truly bliss.
Knowledge and advancements might be the end of humanity; I'm not sure if that's a bad thing.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 16:33:43 2021 No.17211005 >>17208637 >public high school looool

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 16:36:54 2021 No.17211032 >>17203721 based

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 16:41:05 2021 No.17211062 >>17208637 Public high schools are chimp containment zones with a few honkeys sprinkled in as ape food

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 16:42:03 2021 No.17211074 Damn, Public Image Ltd. are good Not always in the mood for them but they were really onto something

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 17:12:30 2021 No.17211370 On my mind is thoughts

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 17:13:40 2021 No.17211374 >>17211370 but what thoughts?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 17:14:20 2021 No.17211380 >>17200804 Hi OP, don't know if you are reading this. Is there a reason you used this pic from Lana's Ride music video in particular? I talk to a ton of lana fans and they never mention this song or music video

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 17:19:54 2021 No.17211422 >>17208943 kek >>17208595 What are "anchoring habits"? I exercise by weightlifting or bicycling if it's not winter

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 17:20:31 2021 No.17211427 >>17208943 Where do you live?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 17:31:00 2021 No.17211507 >>17205786 sounds hellish mate, im sorry

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 17:34:57 2021 No.17211538

>girl I was dating ghosted me for two weeks for no apparent reason
>finally gets back to me and tells me that she's going to write me a letter explaining things
>ask her why she's writing a letter and can't just tell me everything directly
>message ignored
>probably going to have to wait a week or two to find out what the hell is going on
>found out yesterday that she's been talking to another guy
Why do women do this shit. We had so many things planned for this year and it seemed like she genuinely enjoyed having me in her life. I know I'm not the best guy in the world, but I'm trying hard and don't know what I did to deserve being treated so poorly

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 17:44:03 2021 No.17211605 >>17211062 My public high school was like 95% white, what are you on about?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 18:00:54 2021 No.17211752 >>17211538 Are you the guy I talked to a few "Write what's in your mind" ago?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 18:04:45 2021 No.17211780 >>17211752 Probably. I've posted updates in every thread, I think. Since I don't have any friends who want to hear about it. It's the girl who ghosted me over the holidays

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 18:07:23 2021 No.17211795

>>17210750
Why would you expect your child to have a hellish life? Surely you can guide them away from that using your own experience.
I didn't plan on becoming a parent, and I will freely admit that it is a burden and a sacrifice but the joy that comes from seeing a small life grow is incomparable to anything I have experienced before. Parenthood isn't for everyone but if you can embrace the balance in life between negative and positive it can truly be a beautiful experience, I don't want you to miss out on that, anon.

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 18:11:49 2021 No.17211831

>>17211780
People come, people go. The only constant is yourself, I suggest you watch some sad films and have a good cry, it can be good to feel the negative emotions fully, stop trying to find a solution that will make you happy, just embrace the sadness. Then move on possibly?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 18:17:30 2021 No.17211873 >>17211538 Letter kek. She isn't only fickle, but self-aggrandizing too. I'm sorry anon but that's what happens when women are let to run amok.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 18:19:06 2021 No.17211885 >>17200804 Why can't we say Go back to r_ddit anymore? I think one of the mods is a tranny and is trying to turn this into a leftist board.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 18:22:52 2021 No.17211913 >>17204775 Do it pussy. I'm becoming an electrician and then I'm going to Alaska

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 18:23:08 2021 No.17211916 >>17211780 Describe her type, if you want. I think she might be similar to the one that ghosted me, after I've read that she wanted to send you a letter

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 18:23:27 2021 No.17211917 >>17211873 Women this, women that. You are all obsessed.

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 18:23:33 2021 No.17211919

>>17211831
I've been working on my writing to try and make something out of the negative emotions. I think I'm having a hard time accepting things and moving on because for the first time I actually saw a future with someone. Growing up I tried to not expect too much from other people, but I let myself have hope for once just to be really hurt by it. I'm not going to let it stop me from becoming a better person and being with other people in the future, but I feel like I'm going to have a hard time trusting other people again for a while

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 18:23:53 2021 No.17211922 >>17205598 It's a scam

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 18:27:45 2021 No.17211946

>>17211916
She seems like the sweetest person in the world when you're hanging out with her, but at other times she can be the coldest person you've ever met. I think that's the most accurate and honest description I can give of her. She's afraid of confrontation, and would rather ghost someone or block them to avoid having an honest conversation about things. She goes through friends and boyfriends extremely quickly, as just about every relationship she has, whether it be platonic or romantic, blows up after a few months, usually due to her horrendous communication habits. I knew all of this going into things, since I've known her for years, but I trusted her anyways since she told me she had changed.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 18:27:52 2021 No.17211947 >>17211917 Yes, we have a strong evolutionary imperative towards women that diverts our thoughts from art and science even when we forcefully oppose it. We might be 'obsessed', but that is only too natural.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 18:31:45 2021 No.17211978 >>17211946 You played yourself, son. Bow out gracefully and don't worry too much about keeping her around.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 18:33:57 2021 No.17211992 >>17211947 Whatever helps you sleep at night

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 18:36:34 2021 No.17212016 My heart is a walnut-egg and something’s trying to break out of it. I believe it wants to hurt me.

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 18:39:47 2021 No.17212040

>>17211946

>She seems like the sweetest person in the world when you're hanging out with her, but at other times she can be the coldest person you've ever met. I think that's the most accurate and honest description I can give of her. She's afraid of confrontation, and would rather ghost someone or block them to avoid having an honest conversation about things.

This part really reminds the girl I was interested to. It still hurts, because there was an huge connection, but I realized that maybe, even thought she had a lot of perks, it's better to avoid some kind of girls, that might bring you down to the abyss with them.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 18:39:48 2021 No.17212041 pretty sure i just heard gunshots, they have a very specific echo, but at 6:40 on a tuesday evening? really?

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 18:42:27 2021 No.17212064

i’m having a really hard time, anons. my aunt is very sick and i’ve been visiting her for the past few days and being strong for her has taken a huge toll on me. this morning i had a severe allergic reaction to my breakfast. i had a falling out with a friend, who i finally had enough of after some rotten behavior, though this was a long time coming. i am often made to feel ugly and unwanted in my personal relationships and this is no different. i just want to be valued. i want my thoughts to be heard and responded to! this is so, so whiny but my stress from watching a loved one struggle with illness so has spilled out into all areas of my life and i’ve managed to turn it into a “nothing is easy, ever!” tantrum. i’m 25 and i’m a virgin and i am always taking the high road or whatever and i am SO FREQUENTLY taken advantage of or kicked when i am at my very lowest. i am just so exhausted and sad that it has put a knot in my stomach and a knot in my throat and i can’t shake this awful, awful mood.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 18:49:06 2021 No.17212108 >>17212064 i know feeling unwanted/gross/undesirable is fag shit but i get mogged by my retarded friends all the time and i have no outlet. i have a different center of gravity but it’s so hard for me to ignore/not care about this stuff.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 18:49:33 2021 No.17212118 It's been 1 year I'm in love with psychologist who could be my mother and I'm in total dissonance finding the pefect way out of my own insecurities.

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 18:51:08 2021 No.17212131

>>17212064
Hang in there, bub. If you're a kind and generous person it's inevitable that narcissitic cunts will try to take advantage of you at some point. You just have to be patient and find the right friends/romantic partner who will be appreciative of who you are and what you do for them. Don't keep feeding into relationships with people who take without ever giving back. Sorry you're having a rough go of things, and good luck to your Aunt.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 18:55:37 2021 No.17212161 >>17212108 Find new friends. Its better to be alone and selfreliant than with the mediocre and mean

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 18:56:59 2021 No.17212173

>>17212131
thank you. i have a couple of really and truly special people in my life and i’m so lucky and grateful for their support. i think a lot of the problem is the uncertainty about my aunt’s health eating away at my thoughts and giving all the other issues floating around in my brain a bright red cast. it doesn’t matter, the other stuff, it really doesn’t matter. the “i’m undesirable” thing mostly comes out because i’m not really a looker but my friends are beautiful and they kind of know it. i’m all mixed up but your reply really touched me.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 18:59:02 2021 No.17212184 >>17211885 Should have been here the day before the election. I made a pro Trump thread on here and it got raided by leftypol and I got banned from all boards while they got away scot free >>/lit/thread/S16699877

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 18:59:14 2021 No.17212185

>>17200804
I really enjoy not working so much so that I have been shitposting since I woke up (at 1pm) instead of looking for a job. To be fair I'm technically employed, its just that my boss is an idiot and theres hardly any work due to Covid. And I have money saved and I live with my parents so what point is there? I really really dont want to go back to my helpdesk job

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 19:00:55 2021 No.17212201

>>17212184
That's the worst thing about the left. When they take control they dont allow alternate opinions, and yet they're free to spout theyre half formed bullshit. Theyre like a prion, they convert boards incrementally piece by piece and make unconversion almost impossible

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 19:03:21 2021 No.17212219 File: 788 KB, 1556x2400, 91sf8SV+sqL.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>17212201

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 19:08:42 2021 No.17212256 >>17212161 thank you. i am trying to figure out a strategic way to cut this person out of my life as i have with similar bad friends.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 19:18:20 2021 No.17212326 >>17205786 Be strong anon, be strong.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 19:26:47 2021 No.17212383 >>17212064 Hey, my mom has been battling cancer all year so I know how hard and emotionally taxing it is to deal with. Take care of yourself and try to be positive. There's someone out there for everyone, whether it be a friend or romantic partner.

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 19:29:19 2021 No.17212393

>>17212040
A female friend of mine is always telling me that I pick the girls who are damaged and uncapable of having meaningful relationships, in an effort to fix them, and on some level I think she's right. I need to stop letting girls into my life who are clearly not good for me

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 19:29:47 2021 No.17212399

>>>17201691
To answer your question, read Spengler. In this civilizational life cycle we're essentially the Romans in that we're materialistic and nonspiritual compared to our forebearers (the Europeans). Eventually we'll transition completely into an Empire and that will signal the slow death of Faustian civilization.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 19:29:52 2021 No.17212400 >>17212201 You really think this is a leftist board?

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 19:46:59 2021 No.17212522

>>17212383
thank you so much anon. i have a really nice and thoughtful partner and i wrote this post tearfully after my friend said something particularly awful and after a hospital visit to my aunt. (these two are unrelated, my bad friend would not even cross that line, i think) i will pray for you and your mother and your family.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 19:49:46 2021 No.17212543 >>17212400 Not currently

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 19:52:15 2021 No.17212560 Are you a man of class? Don't be a fool. You placate her then fiddle with your tool. In a world clear as glass We'd all be pure Yet men of sin must choose their favourite whore.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 20:01:10 2021 No.17212642 I wholeheartedly wish that afterlife, and hell in particular, really exist. Not that I believe myself to be exempt from the fires, but at least I would delight at the sight of others burning.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 20:02:07 2021 No.17212651 >>17212393 I have the same problem, we should try to find a connection with girls that maybe are more "normie" but capable of a relationship. Not an easy task, tho

Anonymous Tue Jan 5 21:40:34 2021 No.17213215
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>forced to actually look at twitter for once
>see some random nobody's account
>nonstop begging for mutual follows, both overtly and covertly
>dozens of fucking tweets a day in all lowercase with 0-3 upvotes each
>all of them pathetic failed at attempts at lowercase apathetic witticisms
>twitter feed is a graveyard of unsolicited, unappreciated one-liners
>all uninspiring twists on stale formulae even i recognize
>all lifeless and gay because normies can't make any good jokes
>odor of desperation permeates every tweet
>this is what all my faggot normie friends mean when they say they're "big on twitter" or "have a bit of a following"

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA FUCKING LOSERS, EVERY TIME I PEEK INTO NORMIE WORLD THEY'RE DOING SO MUCH WORSE THAN US

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 21:42:41 2021 No.17213231 File: 400 KB, 1367x760, 1602786706906.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>17213215 Haha yeah...doing worse than us. I'm not lonely or anything

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 21:44:33 2021 No.17213255 >>17213231 damn that looks comfy than a motherfucker. i'm buying a farm idgaf

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 21:46:20 2021 No.17213265 File: 2.48 MB, 1560x1080, 1608336706232.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>17213255 Be sure to find yourself a nice farm girl to go with it, anon

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 5 22:13:03 2021 No.17213461 I am the eggman. They are the eggmen.

Anonymous Wed Jan 6 00:57:30 2021 No.17214687

I keep searching all over for someone to bring me emotional fulfillment, some peace of mind and warmth in my life. It's always empty or a failure. People are so replaceable behind a screen, so what do I really have to hope for? And sooner or later I'll be far away, out of reach of anyone who could really give a shit; maybe something will happen there, maybe it wont; but why am I sitting here waiting, no yearning for that something to happen? It's never done me any good, and I feel like I'm just watching my own suicide in slow motion. No part of my life has ever felt so empty and unfulfilling as searching for love, but of course, maybe the problem is that I'm searching to begin with. Maybe there's nothing to search for and deep down I'm afraid of my own freedom; that inner void that stares me in the face. I can't use people as sheilds from it, from eternity. I tell myself that all the time but maybe it's just self-advice I haven't fully swallowed yet.

And of course sex would be the path of least resistance. Fucking a faceless body is so much easier when you don't expect love or emotion to begin with. It's a different kind of escape. Throwing a box over the fire. You smell the smoke and see the black lines raising up and spreading across the ceiling, but you just embrace the heat and keep going, at least, that's how I used to be. I know it's wrong, I know I can't do it, but like even with love I keep coming back to lust, half-wishing for somekind of fix to satiate me for a while before I inevitably crumble into regret and disgust. I guess I'm still a Christian with that kind of attitude, they always had a weird flexibility regarding sin.

Maybe that's my problem though, I feel like I -have- to sin.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 01:24:56 2021 No.17214805 >>17214687 read St Augustine

Anonymous Wed Jan 6 01:36:38 2021 No.17214851

>>17214687
>I keep searching all over for someone to bring me emotional fulfillment, some peace of mind and warmth in my life.
If you expect so much from other people, you are invariably going to be disappointed. You have to find your own happiness, because nobody else is going to give it to you.

Anonymous Wed Jan 6 01:46:35 2021 No.17214899

>>17214851
I realize that, and try not to expect much, but I always find myself wrapping back around to that yearning even though I know it's stupid. Honestly I'm just glad I got the shit off my chest and now I can do the necessary rearrangement. This is just one learning curve I have to get over.

>>17214805
Which work of his? Confessions?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 02:03:55 2021 No.17214984 >>17203471 stop being superstitious

Anonymous Wed Jan 6 02:04:13 2021 No.17214987

I got a hook tying me back here for another week or so man. All I'm trying to do is get outta here, but first I gotta take care of business with this girl I saw for a year before we split back in October. We broke up, but then we broke, meaning come back together maybe after a month or two and here we are talking again.
It's her fault man, but she made me do the heavy lifting. I was gonna take it, long distance for a few years that is, but she just couldn't hang. I woulda married her, man, dont you just know i fuckin woulda! Are you kidding? I'd love to shoot 1 for 1 with girls and come back with a wife! And a virgin too? V card for V card on the wedding night? Fuckin choice, man, praise be to our God! But she couldn't hang and now I don't know if I wanna, man.
I know she doesn't wanna get with me again man I can feel it in me bones, but we've talked every day since we broke so she might not wanna. I don't know what to do because I love her and I love the idea of her and we are so good together but I don't know if I still love her, man. Its tough to break and talk. Can't tell which ways up in regards to feelings, but here I am! I'd take her back but then I'd be in the city for at least 2 more years and I just crave escape from the city man I can barely damn well take it.
We been talking every day since the break man its hard to go a day without her. If she thinks we'll be friends after this she's damn insane.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 02:07:12 2021 No.17215001 >>17204377 i think writing is integral to appreciating literature

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 02:09:17 2021 No.17215006 >>17205011 you get to have sex you lucky bastard, not with hot chicks i bet

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 02:12:56 2021 No.17215020 >>17200829 This. I normally listen to Metal but Lana's music is good

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 02:16:07 2021 No.17215034 >>17206832 murakami is shit>>17206846 this guy probably knows what he's talking about. Read Dubliners by James Joyce, or some Shakespeare

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 03:09:02 2021 No.17215246 I have all the freedom yet i run away from it.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 03:15:26 2021 No.17215272 I think about ending it almost daily now. There's no future I can imagine that I'd enjoy.

Anonymous Wed Jan 6 03:26:43 2021 No.17215328

I feel awful and I can’t articulate why, which only compounds the issue for me. It’s a sort of nausea, and my fingers hurt typing this, and I have barely typed anything at all, but it’s temperate. There is nothing extreme about it, it’s just sitting there staring at me and we both know nothing is going to happen. Not typing about it didn’t help. Will typing about it help. Not typing about it didn’t help.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 03:28:59 2021 No.17215339 American democracy isn't going to make it another 50 years. The downfall of the republic is coming.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 03:29:54 2021 No.17215344 >>17215339 That means we all get to write collapse diaries. Instant canon material for 2000 years in the future

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 03:31:14 2021 No.17215352 >>17215344 this post brought me joy

Anonymous Wed Jan 6 03:34:24 2021 No.17215365
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>>17215344
"Collapse" is relative. I think democracy will end but America will not.

I've always figured we're destined to follow Rome's fate. We'll have an emperor/absolute monarch who nominally preserves aspects of democracy but in fact has total power. America very eerily mirrors Rome in tons of ways, especially because the Founding Fathers literally based our system of government on the Roman Republic.

But I think America will still be a major superpower even without democracy. Indeed, I think we may reach our greatest heights of raw power once democracy is gone. After all, Rome only reached the fullest extent of its empire under Trajan.

Anonymous Wed Jan 6 03:39:58 2021 No.17215384

It is upsetting to me that I can only see my own eyes statically. Why can I never see my own eyes move. I was looking at my hair and I noticed how peripherally foreign my face looks to me since that's the closest I can get to looking at myself from afar.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 03:42:38 2021 No.17215392 >>17215384 You could try aligning a few mirrors so that you can look at a reflection of a reflection of yourself at a non-straight-on angle.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 03:46:05 2021 No.17215409 >>17215392 im going to try this. i was thinking about how that could spiral out of control and i could live a whole life watching myself through mirrors like a netflix show

Anonymous Wed Jan 6 03:57:05 2021 No.17215450

>>17215246
Montaigne (the eternal friend, as another anon put him) said in his 14th essay, titled That the taste of good and evil depends in large part on the opinion we have of them, he said,
>Plato fears our too vehemently engaging ourselves with pain and pleasure, forasmuch as these too much knit and ally the soul to the body; whereas I rather, quite contrary, by reason it too much separates and disunites them.
and so maybe it's not a "yet" problem in that you run away from your freedom because it is freedom

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 04:02:06 2021 No.17215468 >>17215409 Just like narcissus

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 04:07:03 2021 No.17215487 >>17215468 i didnt know about this. good post. on the narcissist end i feel like an ancient poet now but on the practical end i feel like this is a literal bad sign about my current state of affairs

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 04:10:09 2021 No.17215500 >>17215384 >>17215392 Have you niggers never heard of a camera?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 04:11:36 2021 No.17215513 >>17215500 thats horrific photos are way too raw have you ever seen a photo of yourself

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 04:29:09 2021 No.17215573 >>17215500 It's not the same as seeing yourself directly and in realtime, the way we've evolved to read people.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 04:48:06 2021 No.17215637 I think I tried praying sometimes at home but almost always cringe immediately afterwards

Anonymous Wed Jan 6 04:49:19 2021 No.17215647

>>17215637
I tried praying last year, and within a few weeks a horrible sequence of events befell me, such that I am now confident that we should never beseech God for anything unless we are truly out of options and utterly respectful of His time and attention.

Anonymous Wed Jan 6 04:57:53 2021 No.17215680

>>17215637
>>17215647
I had trouble praying at first but now I feel something when I do it. I try to thank God for things and wish others well and wish for help for others without asking for selfish things for myself.

I also don't believe God controls human fate directly but that we have freedom for a reason, but that prayer does matter and is important. So I don't feel too conflicted about the problem of evil when praying.

Anonymous Wed Jan 6 04:59:16 2021 No.17215686

>>17215680
>I try to thank God for things and wish others well and wish for help for others without asking for selfish things for myself.
Yeah, I think this is a good move. I asked for help with something and I got a lot of shit for it. I shouldnt have asked probably.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 04:59:56 2021 No.17215690 >>17205251 cool. what kinda dose?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 05:01:38 2021 No.17215698 >>17205424 >>17205495 are there really no quiet fans out there for a powerful computer? like is it impossible to build a quiet pc or what?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 05:03:21 2021 No.17215707 >>17200804 >posts music video in a writing thread on a literature board Zoomers really are fucking retarded.

Anonymous Wed Jan 6 05:08:18 2021 No.17215719

>>17205786
>>17205845
You need some serious exercise. There are people who have trained themselves to be able to fall asleep in any environment. If you're physically exhausted from exercise, it will be much easier. You'll basically pass out from exhaustion right into a deep sleep.

Anonymous Wed Jan 6 05:13:03 2021 No.17215739

>>17215637
>>17215647
>>17215680
>>17215686
You are wrong. Pray to God openly.

Talk to God freely, in fact, even when you are angry or upset at Him. A huge chunk of the Psalms are Psalms of lament, and anger, in which the Psalmist expresses his anger and exasperation at God.

Don't talk to God less. Talk to Him more. God is both omnipotent and omniscient, why wouldn't he have time to hear you?

What you are troubled by is the fact that God doesn't just do what you want, it seems. But this is the way of the Lord. He will sometimes give us the exact opposite of what we ask for. This is because He knows what we need, and it is often not the thing for which we ask.

But keep talking to Him. Speak freely. Get in the habit of talking to God about even small things. You will not be sad you did. For God does answer, if you talk to Him enough. It won't always be the answer you would like, or would wish. But answer He does.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 05:14:06 2021 No.17215741 >>17215739 Your words cant undo the trouble that befell me for vainly beseeching God. Ive learned from my errors. Hope others will too

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 05:15:15 2021 No.17215746 >>17206818 >we'll achieve paradise on earth, trust me bro No. We won't. All you'll do is cause more suffering, as those before you have done.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 05:24:47 2021 No.17215785 >>17208826 Your prose is bad. I'm sorry I have nothing more constructive to say, but I thought you should hear it because it's honest. Keep working at it though, and read more.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 05:48:21 2021 No.17215893 >>17215500 cameras aren't true to reality. you should look up how immensely different a face can look photographed with different size lenses

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 05:49:25 2021 No.17215900 >>17208954 nice

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 05:50:59 2021 No.17215910 >>17208637 I went to a public school and it's just more suffering that you never quite get used to.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 05:54:42 2021 No.17215928 >>17215785 Thank you for your criticism. For which aspects is bad? Anyway, I wrote down those two texts in one minute each and then I translated them with google from my original language

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 06:02:35 2021 No.17215966 >>17215928 im not that anon and i dont think its nearly as bad so as to deserve a blunt "this is bad" but it does read like something from gpt-3

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 06:14:55 2021 No.17216019 >>17215450 Thanks anon. I tried reading your reply couple of times but couldnt grasp the main idea. Being ESL is truly suffering. Thanks nevertheless

Anonymous Wed Jan 6 06:30:06 2021 No.17216072

>>17216019
don't feel bad, it is a very hard passage to understand and i had to google what he meant by it when i read it. it was a very pithy way to put a totally novel idea which became relevant centuries later.

plato (ostensibly) believed in an ideal reality of "forms" or "ideas", separate from our own temporal and imperfect reality, of which he thought we should intellectually aspire to. plato consequently believed that we shouldn't focus on pains or pleasures because they keep our souls imprisoned to our bodies, when we should be focusing on what is beyond. montaigne was arguing that pain and pleasure are relative, and that they do the opposite of imprison our souls, they give us freedom, which he thought was the real horror. most people probably ignore that passage because it's very oblique as compared to the rest of the essay

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 06:47:24 2021 No.17216130 >>17215966 I had to look it up, Lmao. Thank you anyway

Anonymous Wed Jan 6 06:59:05 2021 No.17216181

>>17216130
theres some things i like in it
>on fire with cold and damp fire
i like this
>and then I translated them with google from my original language
also for being ESL that was wonderful and i could not tell that from reading it. sounding gpt-3 is much better to be at than sounding esl

Anonymous Wed Jan 6 07:02:30 2021 No.17216196

I met a woman on tinder who called herself a "proud socialist". Then we started talking about pop culture and she said her favorite show was "The Office". I then tried to explain to her how “The Office” actually offers a Marxist critique of the alienation of the American workplace. She had no clue what I was talking about.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 07:03:50 2021 No.17216204 >>17216196 >le too intelligent

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 07:05:20 2021 No.17216214 >>17216196 >le theorycel face

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 07:05:49 2021 No.17216217 god damn it I can't get enough of these Asian tik tok thots. Its literally hypnotic. I've been on the Internet a long long time now and nothing has hooked me on quite such an affective level. I need to take a break good lord.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 07:06:53 2021 No.17216224 >>17216196 What she'd never heard of The Office?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 07:11:13 2021 No.17216242 >>17215450 Bad writing

Anonymous Wed Jan 6 07:14:35 2021 No.17216256
File: 80 KB, 500x375, oh-em-gee-i-see-flyin-cheezburger.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I have to do a big thing in a few days and I don't think I can do it but I'm so numb from doing things I can't do for so many years that I don't even care and I can't tell whether I'm more confident or I am just a big lumbering retard incapable of feeling the panic anymore

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 07:24:46 2021 No.17216292 >>17216196 >favorite show is "The Office" She is an automaton, Anon.

Anonymous Wed Jan 6 07:45:19 2021 No.17216362

>>17215928
It's translated? That makes perfect sense. It may be good in your own language, so I wouldn't worry about that. What language, if you don't mind me asking?
I appreciate the images you're attempting to convey, it's just that your command of English isn't quite good enough to make it work.
I said "bad" very bluntly because I think blunt, unbiased criticism is one of the perks of posting your stuff here. You almost certainly wouldn't get that from friends IRL. And also because I think any particular criticism of what you wrote wouldn't be useful. You just need to work and improve. That's if you want to write in English, of course.
Do you want to write in English? If so - read, read, read. You need to get an intuitive feel for the flow of the language. You need to immerse yourself in it as much as possible to absorb it like children do. And write, mimic writing that you like, copy it even. I think literally copying a book you like by hand can be a very good exercise.
But if you have no intention of really writing in English, don't worry about my criticism because I have no idea how your passage comes off in the original language. There's still some good advice above, though.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 07:45:53 2021 No.17216365 >>17216181 >on fire with cold and damp fire Welp, I didn't notice that. In my original language it did make sense

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 08:05:06 2021 No.17216443 the lion he is FREE

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 08:56:48 2021 No.17216695 >>17216072 >being able to feel pain and pleasure is freedom I see. Thanks for explanation anon.

Anonymous Wed Jan 6 09:46:09 2021 No.17216938

New trend is old. Bring Back Post Ratings.

Are we just demonstrating our power levels here on the Nigerian Picnic Philandering Emporium? >>17216443

>Why do we need an audience so badly? Are we attention whoring? >>17213461

Post Ratings consider reading and writing ability. While demonstrating reading comprehension, one could score 5 of 5 for a brilliant effort post, but writing on this board rarely scores more than a 1 of 5, since most will hate a given post.

One could receive negative marks if one has publishing aspirations, since shit posting takes away from generating a manuscript. However, negative point systems exceed the comprehension level of the average /lit/erati, and are best avoided. Let it suffice that a 1/5 post is an epic fail.

5/5 Loved it >>17213215
4/5 really liked it >>17208913
3/5 liked it >>17211062
2/5 disliked it >>17210453
1/5 hated it. >>17211795

This rating system indicates more feeling than evaluation of content value.

>That's the power of Feminism, girls!
>We know instantly how we feel and that's our authentic reaction to posts.
>Power to the piggies!
>Don't forget to be a good consoomer and pay for all your purchases on credit!
>Always shill for net brownie points. Updoots for everyone!
>Changing the playing field is how we win. Never demand genuine equality. Its obvious women weren't meant to compete with simps-I mean, men.

Anonymous Wed Jan 6 10:09:56 2021 No.17217053

>>17216362
I'm Italian, and no, I don't plan to write in English. I appreciated your answers because my writings usually get ignored. Also I sent it here because I don't have friends that would be interested in that, or maybe don't understand that much about prose. One of a few people that seemed interested in my writings ghosted me (I wrote about her in this thread yesteray)

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 10:16:48 2021 No.17217096 like the daytime sky, the blue returns each day, inescapable in its ubiquity and its omnipresence

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 10:35:50 2021 No.17217241 >>17216938 1/100

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 10:49:21 2021 No.17217368 >>17217241 3/5

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 11:00:23 2021 No.17217464 butt butt butt butt butt butt butt holiooooooooooooooo

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 11:01:20 2021 No.17217471 File: 19 KB, 242x257, 1342275197028.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Anonymous Wed Jan 6 11:05:42 2021 No.17217519

>>17208943
My girlfriend is suffering from a horrible uti (that i kinda am responsible for) and may possibly die. After my first ex committing suicide I keep thinking that fate is trying to stop me from finding long lasting love. The darker path would be questioning if eternal love could exist but I ain't quite there yet.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 11:12:09 2021 No.17217571 >>17217464 11/5 TPBP Based and redpilled Keyed

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 11:13:07 2021 No.17217575 >>17217519 What did you stick up there

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 11:20:58 2021 No.17217630 >>17217519 Currently Realizing I am the reason everything good in my life dies. I need a bigger aquarium

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 12:11:11 2021 No.17217988 File: 15 KB, 277x311, drdre.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>17216938

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 12:17:13 2021 No.17218034 The beauty of the naked woman and pursuit of sex is the main driver of historical progress

Anonymous Wed Jan 6 12:24:31 2021 No.17218097

On youtube you can watch old recordings of various places, some in advanced hd like quality due to being recorded by a tv or film studio, and it is almost like taking a time machine to a different point and time. It's probably the closest we will get to going back in time. We are able to directly observe the past as it was, preserved eternally in time. You are able to see the people the past and how they lived for yourself instead of just reading about it. It's pretty insane.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fT4lDU-QLUY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbG-bFhsNvU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ac8USzmhw8

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 13:11:40 2021 No.17218520 >>17218034 Not really.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 14:13:58 2021 No.17219108 Don't you get tried of fooling the poor sods in mena? What you got some kind of sandfever?

Anonymous Wed Jan 6 14:27:33 2021 No.17219231

>>17218097
I try to take things like this and then export it to periods we can't see. I've had, no joke, little mental revolutions by forcing my mind to picture parts and moments of the ancient world differently. I think the trick is in that you are not just taking your default way of seeing the thing, and then try to modify it arbitrarily and abstractly. You are taking the "feel" of a whole other period, which you know reflexively, and then mixing that with the feel of the period you're trying to modify.

For example years ago if I tried to picture the Aegean in Roman times, but especially in 1000-400BC times, without realizing it, I always pictured it as a slow "monolithic" place where travel was hard. I knew the facts and details that travel was easy, I knew on some level everything I know now, but it FELT slow and sleepy. But then I tried imposing my "feel" of the bustling seas of the early modern and modern periods onto it, and I realized, holy fuck there is simply no such thing as a slow and sleepy period in history, those seas were bustling with whole pirate and commercial companies that are lost to history because they were taken for granted as the constant background of life by Greeks and Romans. The ancient maritime world was just as lively and lived-in and bustling as any modern pirate movie represents the Caribbean.

I used to picture the Diadochi period and feel a strange sense of sadness that it was an "in between" period, in between the familiarity and liveliness of the Greeks and that of the Romans. Now I know it was probably a chaotic buzz with stories and sagas lost to history's view.

You can also do this with ancient groups and figures. It's so hard to picture the grandeur of Plato's Academy or Pericles' Athens until you map something totally mundane from modern life onto it and realize these people were human beings, nothing is ever solemn or grandiose about human actions. Everyone is all too human. I can't express it well but sometimes even while watching a video clip of a busy street in the 1970s I will save the image and try to map it onto other things. Is that what Elizabethan London looked like? The mundaneness of it.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 14:43:39 2021 No.17219370 >>17217053 ghost her right back, forget about that bitch and don't engage if she ever contacts you again. I know it's hard, but trust me, you don't want someone like that in your life.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 14:44:43 2021 No.17219378 >>17218034 No, it's the main counterforce to historical progress.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 14:46:17 2021 No.17219392 >>17219378 Secretly gay

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 14:46:43 2021 No.17219400 >>17219378 also known as, Eve fucking shit up time and time again

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 14:47:50 2021 No.17219408 >>17219392 No, and my libido's just fine.

Anonymous Wed Jan 6 15:08:55 2021 No.17219533

Okay you dumb cunt. Tell me who treated you better than I? That is someone who'd not looking to exploit you for your nudes and someone who you've been harassing for the longest time for no justifiable reason. Get off my anus and don't act outraged this time

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 15:20:30 2021 No.17219598 holy shit the chuds stormed the capitol and stopped the count!

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 15:24:46 2021 No.17219620 No I will not join your cringy discord no I will not join your shitty social media you may not recognise it but this is what truth looks like Dumb bitch

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 15:30:46 2021 No.17219647 >>17219598 who's the chuds? i forget who uses that word, american leftoids or american rightoids

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 15:33:24 2021 No.17219663 >>17219647 >https://www.twitch.tv/woke

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 15:34:28 2021 No.17219665 >>17219647 >american leftoids when referring to rightoids

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 15:35:30 2021 No.17219673 >>17219665 woops forgot to remove greentext

Anonymous Wed Jan 6 16:17:44 2021 No.17219862

>>17219598
it's awesome watching all the LEFTIE COMMUNISTS laugh about how the illegal police state apparatus will be used to harass a few boomers for the rest of their lives, or how the EPIC AWESOME POLICE are going to BASH SOME CHUDS

imagine being so controlled that you side with the state while they're beating up your controlled opposition

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 16:30:13 2021 No.17219920 >>17219370 >don't engage if she ever contacts you again Quite impossibile, but thank you for the suggestion

Anonymous Wed Jan 6 16:47:53 2021 No.17220000

I'm the kind of guy who always worries about being the one in a social group who isn't very funny but keeps talking anyway even when others are trying to clue him into it by ignoring him. Whenever I get ignored several times in a row that anxiety hits me full force and I get upset, angry, feel detached and leave for a day if not longer. The irony is that getting ignored sometimes is normal, and usually not on purpose. Everyone has shitty jokes that don't land, conversation starters that don't go anywhere, but people good at conversation don't worry about this. I bet they frequently don't even notice it. Anxiety in social situations is strange because most people who have it have no need to genuinely worry, and it's the slobs who don't care for their appearance or others' thoughts that should be more socially conscious. Anxious people rarely stand out unless they're conspicuously anxious.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 17:13:56 2021 No.17220184 >>17220000 >>ending on quads >ending on me calling out quads watching myself watching washing

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 17:51:05 2021 No.17220391 >coming of age story You may as well say "I'm a first world faggot who didn't live a tough life"

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 17:52:20 2021 No.17220403 >>17216196 >watching and analyzing the Office at all I think you're worse than her frankly.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 6 18:02:17 2021 No.17220474 If Mishima was still alive, the only manga he would read is Baki: The Grappler.

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/lit/ - Literature