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/lit/ - Literature

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18053954 No.18053954 [Reply] [Original]

Wtf moments in the Bible like when some children teased Elisha for being bald, so God cursed them with a bear attack.

>> No.18053959

When he tortured a guy because the devil bet that said guy would stop loving him, but he didn't, thus proving God is more susceptible to the devil's temptation than some random dude.

>> No.18053991
File: 287 KB, 395x340, 2.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18053991

>>18053954

>> No.18054011

When two girls got their dad drunk and slept with him to get knocked up.

>> No.18054030

>>18053954
I have red hair and I want to look like the naked guy on the left. How do I attain that physique?

>> No.18054036

>>18054011
hot

>> No.18054042

They werent children and they were mocking because he wasnt worshiping the idol.

>> No.18054049

>>18053954
There’s no way this painting isn’t meant to be hot as fuck

>> No.18054172

>>18053991
Mood

>> No.18054179

>>18054030
Read Mishima

>> No.18054187

>>18053959
Lol wtf never thought of that

>> No.18054198

>>18053959
Midwit take. The story of Job contains in it the justification of God's sovereignty. The reason you don't understand this is because you haven't actually read it.

And because you're retarded

>> No.18054336

>>18054198
And that reason is that God can wrestle down Leviathan, and you can’t. Might makes right.

>> No.18054363

>>18053954
When Yavhe comes to take Gershom's life because he's not circumcised, therefore Sephora cuts his foreskin with a sharp stone in order to prevent his son's death. Blood even spills on Moses' sandals.

>> No.18054387

>>18054336
God imposes order upon chaos, here personified by Leviathan, that is as far as God's justification for anything need go. Unless you want read the morality of Greco-Judaic fanfiction about a Rabbi back into the Hebrew Bible.
>>18054363
Probably the original justification for circumcision in the J Document as an apotropaic action, rather than the covenant associations introduced in the P or E documents of the Pentateuch.

>> No.18054390
File: 105 KB, 640x428, catharsss.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18054390

That isn't God you're talking about

>> No.18054568

Jacob physically wrestling with God Himself and then being renamed Israel.

>> No.18054590

Honesty most of the book of Genesis is very disturbing

>> No.18054599

>>18054336
Not so much. God wasn’t just the layer of Earth’s foundations, he was witness to it as well. God didn’t just wrestle the leviathan, he created it as well. The might aspect is there, but it’s not all that is there.

>> No.18055187

Exodus 4:24

>> No.18055262

>>18054011
I mean that’s supposed to be fucked up and explain the perpetuation of evil

>> No.18055284

>>18055262
>>18054011
It's actually meant to disqualify Lot's descendants, Moab and the Ammonites, which were bitter enemies of Israel.

>> No.18055303

>>18054599
So omnipotence makes right. Not as catchy.

>> No.18055306

Jesus performing an exorcism and the demonic spirit moving into a herd of pigs that then run into the sea and drown.

>> No.18055322

>>18055306
Farmers must've been pissed

>> No.18055325
File: 9 KB, 250x226, 1616279062295.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18055325

What about the book of jonah where after a single sentence of preaching the entire people and king repent so hard that even the animals are wearing sack cloth
That shit is surreal

>> No.18055361

>>18053959

My understanding of Job is that God learns himself through his mistreatment of man in this example so you are right in essence but God learned a lesson as well.

>> No.18055434

>>18053954
Why is everyone so fit in hell? I read it with Doré's illustrations and even in the gluttony circle of inferno they're still fit, why is that?

>> No.18055444

>>18055434

Hell is where every day is leg day.

>> No.18055536

>>18053954
When Jesus was crucified a naked man was seen fleeing from the scene.

>> No.18055626

>>18055536
That was in Mark only, so a theory is because of that combined with the absurd randomness that it was probably Mark. The gospel writers try to avoid writing about themselves too much or naming themselves when they do. Whatever the case it definitely is a WTF moment

>> No.18055631

The two separate occasions where roving gay rape mobs attack some guy’s house.

>> No.18055650

>>18055631
And how both times the guy offers his female relative(s) for them to rape

>> No.18055665

>>18055434
Theoretically, to be in hell you have to be re-incarnated by Jesus first (there is no hell with your body until the second coming) and when you are resurrected you are resurrected as a repaired human, so fully physically fit and healthy / repaired from the fall.

Lots of protestants and catholics don't seem to understand you can't go to hell without a body

>> No.18055674

>>18055650
And how one of the groups declines sex with a female cuz they gay af, and the other group rapes the woman to death and her body is dismembered

>> No.18055678

>>18055665
So where are dead people now? Sheol?
Arent the saints already in heaven?

>> No.18055679

>>18053954
The best biblical story is the story of Jacob Genisis 25:19 everything about it is hilarious, his Sasquatch brother, his retarded dad, his uncle who tricks him into fucking his cross-eyed cousin, the angel that gets in a fight with him and squeezes his balls. The fact that he makes animals have stripes by breeding them in front of a striped stick. Everything's perfect

>> No.18055703

>>18055361
god is not capable of evil
he is 100% good
god only removed his protection for a while

>> No.18055709

When Amnon rapes his sister and Absalom kills him

When David sees Bathsheba's fine ass on the roof naked, so he has sex with her and sends her husband to war and orders the commanding officers to send him into a death trap

I also never understood how Samson caved into Delilah when she had already revealed numerous times she was trying to trick him and take his power. And then the Philistines gouge his eyes out. I guess the pussy was too good. THE PHILISTINES ARE UPON YOU!

>> No.18055798

>>18055678
In Sheol, yes, but in a nicer part "abrahman's bosom" (Parabale of lazarus) are the saints.

>> No.18056069

>>18055709
>When Amnon rapes his sister and Absalom kills him
Kino

>> No.18056130

>>18055325
Jonah is based because it's a literal parody of Christ's story. Jonah is a very unwilling savior to an almost comically receptive nation, while Jesus was an entirely willing savior to an unreceptive, hateful nation.

>> No.18056182

>>18056130
Thanks, I never made that connection

>> No.18056412

Also in Genesis 19, God sends two angels disguised as men to Sodom, where the men of Sodom threaten to rape them

>> No.18056436
File: 235 KB, 1200x1020, 1200px-Salome_with_the_Head_of_John_the_Baptist-Caravaggio_(1610).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18056436

The beheading of John the Baptist to please Herodes's stepdaughter

>> No.18056508

>>18056412
Yes, and Lot offers his daughters to get gang raped in exchange. That was fucked up.

>> No.18056518

>>18056436
All because some slut twerked

>> No.18056551

Ham doing something really weird to his father Noah.
Everyone in the OT is batshit insane

>> No.18056876
File: 125 KB, 900x750, 1604738837592.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18056876

the purposeful belief of a god makes sense for fragile beings who can´t comprehend how reality works, God as an invention of mankind makes the task of imposing a so called "order" to the chaotic waves that rules reality, he who kills god is braver than he who´s willing to submit to him, the pursuit of knowledge despite social pressures and dogma is a more noble pursuit than the religious who follows obediently the codes of his/her god

>> No.18056887

>>18056412
This isn't too unbelievable of a thing to happen

>> No.18056892

>>18056876
Subhuman ideology. Anyway if you truly understood him you would realize he was an apophatic Christian mystic and virulent feminist. But you aren't as inclined.

>> No.18056896

>>18056876
Cringe

>> No.18056907

>>18056892
>Anyway if you truly understood him you would realize he was an apophatic Christian mystic and virulent feminist.

go on

>> No.18056914

>>18056896
you´re insecure about your pathetic religion that you have to defend it on third rate internet forum?

>> No.18056942

>>18054030
just go to hell bro

>> No.18056947

>>18056876
go back to r/atheism

>> No.18056952

>>18056947
point out where my argument is wrong

>> No.18057002

>>18056914
Is this about your own post? Your post simply made me cringe is all. So I stated that

>> No.18057017

>>18057002
cringe but true, if you don´t agree, then explain why you think my argument is wrong, don´t be a coward

>> No.18057040

>>18056130
The entire book is a surreal parody, its awesome and ahead of its time
I dont think its a parody of jesus though, moreso a parody of Abraham. Where abraham bargains with god to save sodom and gomorrah jonah does everything in his power to not save nineveh and Jonah seethes when god spares the city and doesnt destroy it. In a lot of ways jonah is the opposite of abraham, another example is how abraham follows gods calling without question whereas jonah tries to flee it

>> No.18057060

>>18057040
Abraham and Jesus are themselves mirrored versions of each other though. Same with the similarities between Moses and Jesus, David and Jesus. All major figures in the Bible foreshadow Jesus in some way

>> No.18057076

>>18056518
nah john was calling sluts out as adulters for fucking guys after her husbad died.

>> No.18057096

>>18057060
Thats a stretch nigga

>> No.18057119

>>18054030
Do what this guy>>18054179said but also you’ll need to implant a couple of vertebrae to match the giraffe neck of the nigga in the painting

>> No.18057131

>>18055709
The author of Samuel needed a way to get rid of every brother in the way of Solomon's ascension to the throne

>> No.18057314

>>18057096
It literally isn't and this is very easy to see. Much of it even being explicitly described in letters in the New Testament

>> No.18057388

>>18053954
When Uzzah put his arm out to save the Ark from falling down and then God killed him.

>> No.18057441

>>18057314
Do you think magic is real? Books in hebrew are not about a character in greek books from the future

>> No.18057467

>>18055284
So we're gonna pretend this isn't just a bunch of horseshit written by Israelites to discredit their enemies?

>> No.18057557

>>18056412
>>18056508
As a Muslim, all the other stories was like new to me except this two (Lot) stories which is also found in the Quran.

>> No.18057575

>>18053954
>when some children teased Elisha for being bald, so God cursed them with a bear attack.
One of those kids turned out to be Stirner

>> No.18057585

>>18056876
Edgy

>> No.18057612

>>18057467
Whats wrong with that faggot? Every epic work of literature in the ancient world was politically motivated and royal circles had resources to scribe

>> No.18057635

>>18053954
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_dJUCl1OiU

>> No.18057651

>>18056508
Hospitality was an important thing back then.

>> No.18057666

>>18056876
knowledge of what?

>> No.18057679

>>18057441
Your post changes nothing about the similarities about say, Moses and Jesus and David and Jesus in the Bible. Don't know what to tell you

>> No.18057737

>>18056892
>Nietzsche and Christian mystic feminist
Retard. He was a kabbalist....

>> No.18057821

>>18057679
Jonah being a parody of abraham and the author writing it with knowledge of genesis does not mean jonah is foreshadowing jesus
muh 3 day whale

>> No.18057837

>>18057821
>>18057679
You can mental gymanstics your way into any character doing a story to be about jesus

>> No.18057888

>>18057837
You can mental gymnastics your way to make identical similarities not be similarities because the idea of it upsets you for whatever reason

>> No.18057905

>>18057441
oh no no someone tell him...

>> No.18057990

>>18057888
When jonah has all sorts of similarities with abraham it doesnt mean its a parody of christs story because elements of jonah and abraham have similarities with jesus.

>> No.18058124

>>18056876
t. nietzsche worshipping femoid

>> No.18058244

>>18053959
Satan in the Old Testament is the literal Devil's advocate in Heaven. It's his job to go against God

>> No.18058273

>>18054363
>When Yavhe comes to take Gershom's life because he's not circumcised, therefore Sephora cuts his foreskin with a sharp stone in order to prevent his son's death. Blood even spills on Moses' sandals.
Based af. Dumb jews always try to weasel their way out of the covenant but God wouldn't let his prophet do that

>> No.18058284

>>18055536
>>18055626
When Jesus was first arrested in Mark there is some random young guy wearing a tunic who happens to pass by when it happens and he freaks out and the guards try to arrest him. they cant catch him when he runs and the guards only get his tunic. So there has been a naked guy running around since the arrest

>> No.18058319

>>18058284
>When Jesus was first arrested in Mark there is some random young guy wearing a tunic who happens to pass by when it happens and he freaks out and the guards try to arrest him. they cant catch him when he runs and the guards only get his tunic. So there has been a naked guy running around since the arrest
This is a sign where you know Mark is real

>> No.18058650

>>18057666
about how the world works

>>18058124
i´m a man (male)

>> No.18058744

>>18053954
god talking through a burning bush was kinda wack, honestly the drug theory sounds kind of plausible considering that I have no idea how you would come up with that otherwise

>> No.18058927

>>18058744
The burning bush is a metaphor for the pious soul, on fire but not consumed.

>> No.18059563

>>18054336
>Might makes right.
yes

>> No.18059608

that time Jacob made sheep offspring stronger by making them look at particular branches

>> No.18059614

>>18058744
It's most likely metaphorical in some way like >>18058927 said, the reason being that Moses himself probably did not exist

>> No.18059652

>>18057635
so Bears eating children because they mocked a man being bald echos me too and gay homophobes because Elisha had animal garment.
With those kind of mental gymnastic, you can make any story out to be a deep reflection of archetypal truths

>> No.18059675
File: 13 KB, 184x184, 1560896974791.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18059675

>>18053954
When Noah gets drunk and raped by his daughters

>> No.18059703

>>18059675
sons, unless you are talking about Lot

>> No.18059735

>>18059652
>so Bears eating children because they mocked a man being bald echos me too and gay homophobes because Elisha had animal garment.
>With those kind of mental gymnastic, you can make any story out to be a deep reflection of archetypal truths
You're getting the wrong impression. A better translation would be youths i.e teenagers

>> No.18059775

>>18059703
Daughters

>> No.18060277

>>18053959
Job is one of the earliest attempts to articulate the conception of a religion that goes way beyond being transactional. You can argue whether it was successful or not but it was one of the first to try

>> No.18060927

>>18059775
Noah doesn't get raped by his daughters, retard. That's Lot.

>> No.18061076

>>18057060
You’re a retard. It’s not that they foreshadow Jesus it’s that the authors of the New Testament tried to shoehorn in connections.

>> No.18061234

>>18054198
Literally the only defence you christcucks have for God allowing Satan to screw Job over is m-muh God works in mysterious ways. It's so intellectually lazy

>> No.18061682

>>18059675
you are retarded

>> No.18062328

>>18054030
>>/fit/

>> No.18062340

>>18061234
What's your idea of ultimate objective moral good? And what's your idea of omnipotence? Let's work from those two points.

>> No.18062367

>>18058744
The word bush is literally just a pun on the word Sinai in hebrew.

>>18058284
This in Mark is always interesting to me.
During Jesuss's arrest a guard gets his ear sliced off and a lad runs off naked. These both seem like real things that could happen during a chaotic arrest, and they also both seem like they could be symbolic. Ear sliced off like being deaf to the message, losing your clothes like losing your outer body. Im still not sure if these are real historical details in Mark or the author's literary symbolism

>> No.18062418

>>18062340
>What's your idea of ultimate objective moral good?
certainly not killing a man's family and ruining him for legitimately no reason
>what's your idea of omnipotence?
how is that relevant?you know what my idea and everybody's idea of omnipotence is

>> No.18062448

>>18061234
>>18061234
Imagine not understanding the moral complexity of Greek tragedy.

>> No.18062450

>>18062418
Everything Job had was restored. Even still, what, inherently, is wrong with killing someone's family? You might balk at this question, but it's an important one.
>>18062418
It's very relevant to the question at hand. Omnipotence suggests ubiquity through reality and time. If God is omnipotent, he not only presides over all creation, but also is suffused with all parts of creation as well, and if we accept that under Christian axioms, he especially is suffused among the good parts and is absent from the bad. You can say you don't accept this view, but then you're not talking about the Christian God anymore.

>> No.18062454

>>18053954
Is that a scene from Taboo? Fuck Tom Hardy got lean.

>> No.18062473

>>18062450
>Everything Job had was restored
He gets a new family, but he never gets his old family back

>> No.18062481

>>18062473
Even still, what, inherently, is wrong with killing someone's family?

>> No.18062544

>>18062481
I'm not the anon you've been talking to I just wanted to point out that job doesnt get his family back.
Obviously in the old testament theres nothing wrong with killing the families of filthy non-israelites as god himself regularly commands the extermination of entire cities in the OT

>> No.18062554

>>18055361
>God learned a lesson
Why are christcucks so hellbent on making God human?

>> No.18062555

>>18060277
I thought Job was the first historical account of a jobber.