Write what's on your mind

[Anonymous No.18104417]

I ain't even a turk and even I know that calling it genocide is probably not correct. why is joe messing with the water melon man? that's on my mind.

[Anonymous No.18104435]

>>18104417
I was destinated for greatness, why am I wasting my time here? What went wrong?

[Anonymous No.18104498]

>"It just turned out that I could write better than a lot of other people," Vonnegut observed. "Each person has something he can do easily and can't imagine why everybody else has so much trouble doing it."

...

[Anonymous No.18104519]

red dead redemption is pretty fun I reckon

[Anonymous No.18104525]

>>18104435
Technology lol

[Anonymous No.18104531]

today is my birthday, the third birthday of my adult life where I fucking tricked myself into thinking it would be fun. It's boring. I had a big breakfast and have spent the rest of the day begrudgingly talking to people on the phone. I'm not sad or depressed about it. Just vexed.

[Anonymous No.18104539]

>>18104531
Happy Birthday

[Anonymous No.18104629]

You guys ever feel like you’ll never accomplish your goals, that in the end you’re just a fraud, a loser, and whatever boat their would have been for you sails long ago, that things will actually only get worse from here, that you’ll never escape the feelings of crushing apathy or that fundamentally, life is not worth living? Just me?

[Anonymous No.18104687]

>>18104629
if live isnt worth living, then just die.

I've found after holding suicide as a serious option, life isn't so bad. see pic related

[Anonymous No.18104691]

>>18104629
I constantly feel that.
I think that I have aptitudes for accomplishing great things, or atleast, that I had them, but that I've missed every single opportunity of accomplishing those great things. I will always be the "man in the garret" as Alberto Caeiro would say: the one who wasn't born for that, the one who waited for a door in a room without doors.
At other times, I think that everything I've done has merely been out of luck: I'm not as smart as everybody seems to think, and someday everybody will realize it, that I've been fraud all this time, and when that time comes, I will not know what to do.

[Anonymous No.18104740]

>>18104531
I hate birthdays

[Anonymous No.18104758]

>>18104417
gotta get rid of this stye and do something with my life

[Anonymous No.18104808]

>>18104687
Oh, it’s a serious option. Has been for a while. Just haven’t reconciled that with hurting family and such. I’m not sure I buy pic related anyway though.

[Anonymous No.18104846]

I miss all about her: her persona, green eyes, blond hair, light skin: her presence.

I wish I hadn't been such a pusillanimous fag.

[Anonymous No.18104851]

>>18104691
>I will always be the "man in the garret" as Alberto Caeiro would say: the one who wasn't born for that, the one who waited for a door in a room without doors.
Never heard that, but yeah.

[Anonymous No.18104877]

I have a bad social encounter and I feel like killing myself. it's banal, it's the same tape over and over. why feel any way about it if it just goes on and on in spite of your best efforts

[Anonymous No.18104887]

The theology of alien sex

[Anonymous No.18104913]

I love art and literature but I'm forced to read philosophy along with it or else I'll be left with historical holes in my hermeneutics and for this I must begrudgingly submit to philosophycels.

>>18104531
happy birthday

[Anonymous No.18104923]

Been planning on quitting my job but apparently my student loan servicer offers zero possibility for deferment or forbearance.

[Anonymous No.18104929]

I am lonely but I don't want to use dating apps and all of my hobbies are solitary

[Anonymous No.18104949]

it turns out I am inheriting enough money that I could turn my one-room appartment into my monastic cell, probably for life assuming the world-economy more or less rolls on. I could become a pure observer of life and spend my years translating obscure manuscripts, reviving dead knowledge. I can't help but feel like that would somehow be selfish though. If I kept the path I'm on and took a job I could give large amounts of money to the needy, and I have to imagine the purchasing power of this mula in the third world could be quite significant. This kind of life, minus all the giving, was fine just days ago, so why not now?

[Anonymous No.18105007]

I'm beginning to think that maybe love isn't really that closely related to that warm fuzzy feeling. a lot of the time it probably feels like shit, but you do it in spite of the feeling because of love

[Anonymous No.18105015]

it's interesting psychologically that marxists think all societies throughout history are based on malignant myths

[Anonymous No.18105026]

>>18104531
Happy Birthday

[Anonymous No.18105101]

When my life is going well, I want to kill myself. Every time.

When things are going well, even though I physically feel good and in some way look forward to the future, I feel this thought nagging on me. Like, I will get a promotion or have sex or do something I enjoy like go for a multi-hour walk through Manhattan and immediately think that now is the time to kill myself. It's not a fear of things getting worse, or a feeling like a should "end on a high note", it's just an immediate (and visceral) association between two things, like how you cannot help but feel your heart flutter when a woman you like show interest in you. When the woman smiles genuinely at me, I viscerally feel that nervous joy; when something goes well, I viscerally want to kill myself.

And then when things are terrible, when I'm unemployed or I betray my family's love for me with selfishness or whatever else, I feel the strongest possible desire to get "back on top", even though I've done this cycle multiple times and it just leads to a feeling of despair and an inevitable sinking back down to my worst self.

I think it's because I feel subconsciously like all pleasure is fraudulent or somehow wrong. Throughout my entire youth, my mother undercut every possibility of pleasure, always associating anything pleasant with weakness and moral or financial dissipation, as if enjoying anything were a sin or at least irresponsible and a sign of immaturity. The contempt in her voice when she mentioned something as simple as someone bringing her family to eat at a restaurant on a schoolnight made me fear partaking in any unnecessary pleasure.

And I will never forget her saying to me in high school that I should not talk to women because if I managed to "trick" a woman into wanting to be with me physically, it would be "over in 30 seconds" and I would just "embarrass myself". Or when I came home with straight As, I won an award for my writing in a national magazine for high school literature, and was the captain of two sports teams, and she told me I had never worked hard, that I was coasting, that I shouldn't be proud of myself, and implied constantly that no girl would want to be with me. I detected that she wanted to "protect" me from the distractions of women and pleasure, but it changed my psychology in ways I'm sure she did not anticipate.

It feels so lame to realize that I have denied myself to much because of my mother's bizarre outlook on life. I try to enjoy myself even today and I can only rarely do it. Anything I enjoy, I feel is wrong. And anything I do "right", I tend to take no pleasure in - it just feels like a chore aimed at some higher plateau of success.

I wonder whether anyone has had a similar experience.

[Anonymous No.18105141]

>>18104417
What happened to the old thread?

[Anonymous No.18105225]

I have surrounded myself with over 400 books and I can’t get past page 30 on any of them. From Dillilo to Hegel to dosto to Plato to PKD to DFW. I haven’t got past page 30 in months.

[Anonymous No.18105504]

Why do we believe our own lies, but not the lies of others?

[Anonymous No.18105572]

>>18105504
One would believe their own in order to avoid what constitutes reality; one wouldn't believe others' due to the natural thought of knowing that they have no evidence for what their claim is.

[Anonymous No.18105582]

I can't believe cvmgenius stated this

[Anonymous No.18105591]

>>18105582
He’s a proud blanco supremacist

[Anonymous No.18105611]

ohhhh fuck dudes leg snapped in ufc

[Anonymous No.18105637]

Just saw who knows what blink twice, I'm alone in the dark.

[Anonymous No.18105643]

>>18105101
Not really because even if others might disagree I can’t remember a time where I felt my life was going well

[Anonymous No.18106000]

Been used. Not for body or love, just for attention. Only interested in my acknowledgment. No desire to hang out. Sucks.
Hardest part is seeing that this is a common trend. Been used for a while now I reckon, by several different women. Therapist, emotional support, attention, never giving back. Being ignored is better than being used.
EP, girl who probably had BPD. Friendship started strong. Young and stupid, I have her advice and support from time to time, she does the same. After a year she starts to ignore my problems, pushing her own, I keep trying to help. She cheats on my best friend. I still support her until she tells me she thought the sex was better. Done. Tell her I’m done.
HS, started talking day before quarantine. Talk throughout it, get to know each other but not very well, just two people in a rough situation. One year later, no time has been spent together in person, just texting. Finally sick of it. Going to cut the line.

Women are strange and complicated. I can’t get a handle on them. Women barely understand other women.

[Anonymous No.18106130]

first ufc back in front of a live crowd and three championship fights and all wins by knockout, plus that dude on the undercard who snapped his leg on the first kick of the fight after he gotten a win against anderson silva the same way, craziest ufc in so long, the fight gods blessed the mma community with a peak night tonight

[Anonymous No.18106138]

>>18104519
1st or 2nd?

[Anonymous No.18106146]

>>18106130
>that dude
How dare you refer to my boy like that

[Anonymous No.18106149]

>>18104435
This is the last bastion of free speech and free thought on the information superhighway. You are not wasting your time here. You are dreaming of being free.

[Anonymous No.18106159]

>>18105591
Thinking Caucasians are white. LoL.

[Anonymous No.18106256]

>>18106149
This place has mods and jannies and rules. This isn’t “free speech”.

[Anonymous No.18106356]

>Anti-anime Schizo is trying to falseflag as animefag in /Sffg/
I think he finally broke guys.

[Anonymous No.18106357]

Just another face that will be ghosted, just another number in a database. I come home to no one. Why should I feel strongly about politics, "social justice" and "equality", when no one feels strongly about me? You can keep your utopia, as it drains from color and loses vigor, while you all try and figure out why.

[Anonymous No.18106364]

>>18104629
https://youtube.com/watch?v=vqTWW6CWC0s

[Anonymous No.18106368]

>>18106356
I just check, is he trying to be the OP or what?

[Anonymous No.18106382]

>>18106368
Probably, or trying to shit up the thread, wouldn't be the first time.

[Anonymous No.18106386]

I ate a nasty can of beans before bed last night. My cat woke me up two hours early because she was hungry, and after I fed her I had to shit. Thanks to the beans I was on the throne for over an hour spewing mealy, oily diarrhea. I'm going to work now and I think I'm gonna get drunk and write. But even that's a little annoying. I made the mistake of showing a short story I wrote to my family and now my mom wants to try to mentor me and give me all this incredibly trite, surface level bullshit that you can read on any writing blog. It's all so tiresome.

[Anonymous No.18106439]

A man, pondered his thoughts, alone in this living room, albeit a mediocre sort of room, "why is man, man?" He chuckled to himself, "manman" this man was a dullard, a truer nowhere sort dullard. Today,oh today was no ordinary day, no, today, this dullard become a hero,the truest of one. But, well get there when we do. A day starts at Sun rise or at the stroke of midnight? It was midnight, the man was unable to sleep, he was having his monthly bouts with insomnia....

[Anonymous No.18106506]

>>18104417
A good friend of mine died recently.

No poem or story or metaphor. It just fucking sucks to be alone.

[Anonymous No.18106521]

Storms are the most beautiful things I've ever seen. Not just Earth's either.

[Anonymous No.18106561]

Girls are retarded. There's this chick who is a bit of a friends with benefits. A while ago she lost it at me saying I just use her for sex. I didn't say anything because it was true, I just stayed silent. I thought she was really angry and wouldn't want anything to do with me anymore. But a minute later she throws herself on me and suddenly we're having sex.

[Anonymous No.18106619]

>>18105582
Living litmus test for newfgs among other things. madlad

[Anonymous No.18106653]

>>18104417
I'm bisexual and have also never had sex. Not sure if my attraction to men and sexual fantasy's about them are authentic, or I'm just "prison gay" due to years of no sexual outlet.

[Anonymous No.18106671]

>>18104929
Me too brother.

[Anonymous No.18106676]

>>18104629
yes to all but not
>life is not worth living

[Anonymous No.18106696]

>>18104929
Same. It does not help if you work in a field that is anti-social by nature (CS).

[Anonymous No.18106702]

>>18104435
If you were destined for greatness, then you are destined for greatness, and it does not truly matter what you do, as you would be nothing but a puppet to fate, never making any real choice or decision that means anything. The reason why people have mixed findsets is because it's comforting to believe that even if we were to do nothing or experienced a transformative event, nothing would throw us off. This is why it's easy for people to see themselves as good people and others as bad people, because to see it any other way would mean they themselves are capable of one day being bad people. Fortunately and unfortunately, nobody in the world is fixed. The saddest man on Earth could find a reason to live today, just as the happiest man on Earth could lose it all tomorrow. The greatest athlete now could be in a wheelchair within a month, and those suffering from obesity could break world records by the end of the year if they wanted to.

Are you destined for greatness? No. You aren't destined for anything. You could be someone I read about one day in the future, or you could be driven to suicide, poor and alone. Whatever happens next is up to you. It always has been. It always will be.

[Anonymous No.18106711]

A clown ate some chicken nuggets on a turbo train heading eastbound to Texas while suffering from a bad case of yeast infection before the zombie apocalypse happening caused by Saturn's hexagon shooting a burst of dusty, old moon energy into the sun hiding behind Sol chipping off some solar spores that ejected into the Earth's oceanic ozone layer causing a lightning chain reaction of Lord Voldemort opening a portal through John Lennon's copy of Harry Potter that was gifted by the Queen of Legoland, but then a big monkey came out the center of Earth 2.0 from earth.com, a monkey named King Kong Un, who obliterated all the zombies in one fell swoop using his Golden Ur-chainsaw made of the finest rubber trees from 6000 years ago birthed by the elven dwarves using an electron of Sheldon Cooper who the zombies know as the actor who plays Sheldon Cooper in The Big Bang Theory.

[Anonymous No.18106729]

>>18106506
Sorry for your loss. What was he like?

[Anonymous No.18106741]

>>18104435
>I was destined for greatness
I honestly think there are only a handful of things that have had a larger impact on a subset of people than a teacher telling them that they were "gifted"

[Anonymous No.18106756]

>>18106741
Yeah, I was really mismanaged as a kid. It's almost criminal how poorly suited I was for basically the entire institution of childhood. I doubt I'm ever going to have kids, but if I do they will discover their intelligence for themselves without expectations.

[Anonymous No.18106757]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovtudBREAlI

[Anonymous No.18106801]

>>18106756
>blaming your problems on other people

[Anonymous No.18106804]

>>18106801
There's always going to be personal fault involved, but at the same time, we don't exist in a vacuum.

[Anonymous No.18106810]

Aesthetic Ethics - There is never a final and flawless system. It is the case that we arrive at what we believe based on how we aesthetically view it. All ethics and morals are ultimately aesthetic, facts are feeling. That being what one believes to be a fact, for objective observations of reality are impossible. What really matters is the humanity's for that is the world we live in. Science is but a tool which discovers knowledge of how the natural world works. It can only be assumed that science is a window to reality and not a kaleidoscope. It is the humanity's that uses wisdom to wield knowledge to an end. All ends are ultimately aesthetically justified. Even that of rationality. Why follow rationality? Because the concept of rationality possesses for the general population a qualia that is found desirable. To be rational, one must do so for an irrational causation. It may still corollate that there are truths and knowledge to be found, but then it is that truth and knowledge are aesthetically appealing. The logos itself is but the strongest form of pathos. Beauty is the highest good. What is beautiful is determined by the structure of power in which a subject lives. What modes are found contemporary reveal then otherwise hidden power structures. Like a mirror under a car, seeing the terrorists bomb, or drug runners narcotics.
One of the many definitions of fascism, is the attempt to bend liberalism into the social. Rather than in socialism having liberalism dissolved away and be replaced by a new organic socially founded civil body. Nonetheless truth is downhill from Aesthetics. There is the world of Facts which is the real. And the world of Aesthetics, which is human. How humans live and organize cultural games and who wins, is determined by who has the power.
The question is who has power, the proletariat or the bourgeoisie?

[Anonymous No.18106863]

>>18104687
very true, I'm for sure pro-choice on the suicide question

[Anonymous No.18106902]

>>18106801
If you think a kid has the kind of agency that I'm referring to, you're delusional, and probably haven't considered the issue in anywhere near the depth I have.

[Anonymous No.18106903]

>>18106356
>He made a duplicate thread.

[Anonymous No.18106905]

>>18106702
Yes and no. You dont really choose your natural talents but its your responsibility if you're neglicting it while fully understanding it. Theres another scenario where you could say fate or destiny plays out in a bigger role where you have a talent but never realize where it could be and end up doing nothing but even then if the talent is really strong it shows the signs.

[Anonymous No.18107044]

One thing I noticed from American exchange students was the tendency of females to get a placement and immediately hire a professional photographer to take dozens of stock image looking takes in their "professional" costume, presumably as some kind of status flex
Why do they do this

[Anonymous No.18107103]

ive got a toothace right now, it hurts so much it's unreal
literally feels like someone's pushing my teeth into my jaw as hard as possible

[Anonymous No.18107108]

Autohypnosis is real. The oral tradition of ethnic groups such as Norse, Celtic and Greek societies in antiquity produced inhabitative spirits which are responsible for the extreme nature of the cultural differentiation and reinforcement of those successful martial groups which came to effect world change. You can do this yourself. When Roosevelt died in the jungle he repeated over and over again "In Xanadu did Kubla Khan A stately pleasure-dome decree"... a fixative tendency self reinforcing greatness of spirit and ability

[Anonymous No.18107141]

I'm curious why this Bechtel corporation (biggest construction company in the US) wants to create a religion around nuclear waste managment.
https://www.academia.edu/27875581/The_Atomic_Priesthood_and_Nuclear_Waste_Management_Religion_Sci_fi_Literature_and_the_End_of_our_Civilization_in_Zygon_Journal_of_Religion_and_Science_Volume_51_Issue_3_2016_p_626_639

[Anonymous No.18107142]

>>18104808
I think the point is, given the fact that we can all kill ourselves. When we choose not to take that option we are choosing to live. So in effect we are giving ourselves permission to life’s circumstances.

>” I would feel real trapped in this life if I didn't know I could commit suicide at any time” - Hunter S Thompson

Point is to stop feeling like life is happening to you and to start feeling like you are happening to life.

[Anonymous No.18107199]

>>18104949
Basically doing this (not inheritance though, just a lifetime pension, which is probably better since a lot more of the global and local economy would have to go bust for my standard of living to drop). I already did a lot of charitable shit so I don't know if it's because I already gave money or because I'm physically there, but you're overlooking the time you now have to donate. An hour or two of charity work a week also stops you from losing social skills and helps mark the week. If you don't want to be around people, you could do many other things for a charity, like admin work, without ever leaving the house or talking to anyone.

[Anonymous No.18107211]

>>18106356
I think he was already broken to be fair.

[Anonymous No.18107411]

>>18104417
Had yet another dream about the Earth spiraling into the Sun, and everyone just grimly accept their fate with a macabre humor. Looking it up, apparently the Earth will inevitably crash into the Sun, but that’s a billion year process we are no where near.

[Anonymous No.18107505]

>>18107141
That's wild, great find

[Anonymous No.18107516]

>>18104417
>yellow folds, seeding and feeding

[Anonymous No.18107532]

>>18104417
There's gonna be a massive war between men and women as soon as technologies such as gene enhancement ,life extension or any other technologies that could extend our lifespan and update our genome gets developed. Men would eventually think women are inferior and should be wiped out and vice versa.
These technologies will increase our genetic separation turning men and women into separate species fighting for resources and genetic survival.
Men need to wake the fuck up b4 that existential threat becomes real so that they could eliminate women from existence.

[Anonymous No.18107666]

>>18106256
Free speech doesn't mean what you think it means

[Anonymous No.18107695]

This site went to shit starting at around 2014. That's when the many american users started binging in their culture war shit. Then at 2016 4chan started becomming the new cool place to hang out for US election tourists who saw the US culture war posting and felt right at home. The site's userbase started growing rapidly which attracted not just more of their kind but also made the site a lot more relevant and appealing for those who wants opportunities to influence large amounts of people such as advertisers, shills and grifters.

[Anonymous No.18107730]

>>18107411
I'd a dream that a vampire kidnapped me from job in a Chinese run dry cleaner with questionable pay and chemical handling processes, and he lectured me about workers rights in his underground nuclear bunker and wouldn't let me leave until I promised to quit.

[Anonymous No.18107747]

>>18104949
I’m in a similar situation. I started as an intern at a very well known institution right before Covid, and they’ve decided to hire me. This is basically the first step on my dream career path. I’m a fast and efficient worker and people tell me I’m pretty easy to be around so if I keep it up I’ll be able to make a pretty good show of it. I’m mostly good in subordinate roles, but maybe with time I’ll rise through the ranks. But I also inherited a small fortune, nothing obscene, enough that if I eat beans and rice 6 days a week I’d be able to live comfortably enough. All I want to do is sit in a room and think about God all day, I’m so close to just giving up on everything and finding some rural town to moulder in. The idea that I could do this at any time gives me great comfort. The feeling reminds me of one time when I was camping, three of us squished in a small tent. I was on the side furthest from the door, and in the middle of the night started having a panic attack over the thought of having to crawl over and wake up the other two if I had to pee. I didn’t, but the thought was so intense and persistent that I was just about to get up and do it just to relieve myself when I realized there was a door on my side too, and I instantly felt the most extreme peace and relief. I slept fine the rest of the night, even though my physical situation was exactly the same, knowing the door was there was a great comfort.

[Anonymous No.18107917]

Why is /lit/ reducing everything exceptionally to pussy? Every philosophy and all of literature is eventually explained through pussy and its varieties like cunt, cunny, ass, manpussy, wet pussy, dry pussy, virgin pussy, desire for pussy, disgust of pussy.

[Anonymous No.18107966]

>>18107917
I'm thinking you only read posts with pussy in them, pussy.

[Anonymous No.18108120]

>>18107532

[Anonymous No.18108177]

>>18104435
>I was destinated for greatness, why am I wasting my time here?
If it can be changed, if it doesn't come to pass - it's not destiny. Have you ever considered that you weren't even "destinated" [sic!] for being able to spell, much less greatness?
Listen close, and remember well - genius equals 100 percent talent - no effort at all! Effort is for scrabbling little worms like you, a futile endeavor you waste your whole sad lives on.

[Anonymous No.18108237]

>>18104531
Happy Birthday anon
godspeed

[Anonymous No.18108239]

>>18108120
he was right about everything

[Anonymous No.18108252]

>>18104629
Do not have long term goals, think about the present

[Anonymous No.18108269]

>>18104846
>reverse research
>Niamh Chinn Óir
Are you the Irish?

[Anonymous No.18108478]

>>18108177
Talent is a myth. Nobody has ever been talented at anything in the history of the world. Autistic savants do it through immense, single-minded effort, and nothing, absolutely nothing, more nor less.

[Anonymous No.18108521]

>>18104531
Dear anon
Happy Birthday

[Anonymous No.18108709]

>>18108478
cope

[Anonymous No.18108739]

>>18104531
Welcome to getting old.

[Anonymous No.18108743]

>>18108120
Who??

[Anonymous No.18108757]

>>18108478
truth
>>18108709
cope

[Anonymous No.18108758]

>>18108478
This is painfully not true at all.

[Anonymous No.18108769]

>>18107666
Free speech either means the limitation of the federal government upon my speech, or it means I can call kikes nigger faggots. I can’t tell the difference.

[Anonymous No.18108770]

>feel bad
>take a walk in nature
>feel ever worse
i dont know what happened

[Anonymous No.18108779]

>>18104435
Nothing. Run to Samarcande, see if you can escape that Angel. You'll find your fate there, sitting on her stupid cunt, whining that it took you so long.

[Anonymous No.18108841]

>>18104417
I have a birthday today, I got some birthday wishes from friends and family, yet I don't feel anything. They might as well be dead to me.

[Anonymous No.18108886]

>>18108757
it's time to face reality sunshine

[Anonymous No.18108902]

i feel an exciting attraction to a
character im writing. Is this my anima?

[Anonymous No.18108974]

>>18107747
nice anecdote
>>18106000
i met this chick through friends, who liked the same music and was a lot of fun to talk to / text. after a show i invited her to she sent a veiled “please fuck me” message which i ignored because i had a long-term gf (now wife). we kept talking until a second show where this time i brought my gf along. at this point i think she realized that i wasn’t going to leave my gf for her, so she just stopped engaging with me. made me feel pretty bad, because i usually never have had female friends, and in my isolation i sometimes crave these relationships. i suppose women deal with this all the time. it wasnt fun to realize

[Anonymous No.18109001]

>>18108841
ive often been sad on my birthdays. as an adult its a bit easier to not feel the pressure of it having to be “a special day”, so i take it easier. as a teenager i spent several birthdays on planes or entirely alone, so the birthday has become a lot more private to me. i usually made music videos for songs i liked on those days

[Anonymous No.18109002]

>>18108841
Happy birthday anon! What did you do?

[Anonymous No.18109008]

>>18109001
>>18108841
but happy birthday, anon

[Anonymous No.18109093]

>>18108841
>three phases
>you cant wait for a birthday
>you dont care about birthday
>you dread about upcoming birthday as all regret hits you

[Anonymous No.18109153]

>>18108709
I’m not coping for anything, I’m great at the things I’m great at. I just don’t pretend it’s because I have any talent. I worked really, really hard. You’re gonna tell me that I actually have secret talent and just didn’t realize it?

[Anonymous No.18109170]

>>18109001
the pleasure of not having obligated affection directed towards me is one I couldn't even imagine as a kid
fuck adult birthdays. if you had an interest in how I were doing, we'd talk and spend time together outside of designated days

[Anonymous No.18109177]

>>18104531
Happy Birthday faggot

[Anonymous No.18109189]

>>18109153
some people have talent
you don't and you earned your skill
don't be so absorbed in your own experiences that you make absurd universal statements like "talent doesn't exist"
some people earn it, some people don't
and some people never make it

[Anonymous No.18109245]

>>18104687
I contemplated suicide in my teens, thought about throwing myself in front of a train. The very idea that I might have died that day has liberated me ever since (why worry about anything in such an absurd state of affairs?). My friends even tell me that I’m the most carefree person they know

[Anonymous No.18109261]

>>18107747
the thing is that I've tried to integrate with regular society for so long now, and I can't. I am virtually never happy with other people, including family, even including friends although with them the frequence is higher I'll admit. I can afford to go full hermit weirdo, I think, and I have really been trying for so, so long to make being a social person work, and it just makes me miserable

[Anonymous No.18109311]

When people say "Every life is important" or "Every person is a gift," how do they justify their statement? What makes a human life important?

[Anonymous No.18109321]

>>18109311
Sentienfe you fucking donkey

[Anonymous No.18109360]

>>18109321
And why is sentience so special? I don't get it. Here is a stone, here is a vase, here is a dog, there is a human being, there is a flower... What is so special about sentience. Is it rarity? What makes rare things important? Wverything is unique. Even rice.

[Anonymous No.18109407]

>>18109360
Sentience makes it possible to discern between more and less degrees of importance. Sentient beings chose to rank sentience as a very important quality. Which basically like everything else is cope of course.

[Anonymous No.18109434]

The only times I've had sex it's been with prostitutes and it's always been a hassle. Wondering whether it's because I need a deeper emotional connection to make it work or if that stuff just isn't for me.

[Anonymous No.18109499]

>>18109434
>prostitutes
>emotional connection

[Anonymous No.18109529]

>>18109434

Sex is very different if there's an actual connection between partners and both actually want to do it.

[Anonymous No.18109563]

>>18104531
Vexed. Man, good use of that word. I know exactly how you feel, strangely.

Happy Birthday, bro.

[Anonymous No.18109570]

Nick Land
outsideness

[Anonymous No.18109638]

I don't think Junji Ito is very scary but I like his story where there's all the holes in the mountain where everyone finds the hole that's the perfect size for them and slowly gets stretched and twisted into unrecognizable shapes. That's a lot like what I have seen in my twenties as friends, acquaintances, "people you know" etc. become avidly certain of shitty life paths and let those paths just twist them into unrecognizable persons, inevitably life is just managing health concerns and worrying about money and you just do the same shit over and over again

[Anonymous No.18109765]

>>18104417
When looking at my romantic history, Ive always fled once a relationship became serious. I did it in high school and uni. In my last two examples, it was kind of love at first sight and it came to a point in which we "made it official". Soon after I either lose interest or come up with an excuse for not pursuing the relationship further. I suspect it's either because I know implicitly that we are not compatible. Something which I fear more is that it is because I am afraid of some kind of social judgement or having my identity partly become the boyfriend of a particular chick. I'm guessing the next time I get infatuated with a girl and it clicks, I should just get serious. Honestly, unless I'm willing to marry the girl in the distant and perhaps unlikely future, I find putting in the trouble of getting in a serious relationship as being pointless.

[Anonymous No.18109770]

>>18104435
Quite simple. Stop taking this website verbatim. Identify what would make you great. Work at it with hope

[Anonymous No.18109825]

>>18104417
Graduating with an MFA in poetry in a couple of weeks. I've applied to about fifty teaching jobs (none adjuncting, thank God). I might fucking kill myself. I'm a retarded midwit that allowed myself to be tricked into pursuing an academic career by well-meaning teachers.

Maybe I should have been a pharmacist tech like my brother.

[Anonymous No.18109839]

>>18106902
Yes dumbass, I can just TELL you're somebody who has spent so much time contemplating that you aren't able to do anything else.

Get out of your head and stop being a bitch. Grow up.

[Anonymous No.18109845]

>>18104417
After 5 years since I've last seen her, I'm trying to get in touch with my primary school crush. I've never really talked with her and apart from her physical appearance that kind of set in stone my image of "ideal woman" physiognomy I don't know anything about her.
We have some common memories that are mostly awkward because everyone in school had known how I feel about her.
I don't even know why I've messaged her, I guess I'm pretty messed up.

[Anonymous No.18109926]

I'm gonna get drunk and watch the Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe BBC miniseries. I haven't seen it in 15 years.

[Anonymous No.18110064]

>>18106756
haha, imagine missing the point this bad.
The worst thing that a person can do to another person is to convince them that they are a victim of circumstances out of their control.

This poster is the proof of that.
Literally everyone is ill suited for the role they were born into.
Even if not, then they would have such little real world experience to draw upon, that they would be incompetent.

I actually think the second one is the poster's real problem.
Its not that they faced too much adversity, but that they never faced enough of it early on. They never learned the internal strength necessary to cope.

[Anonymous No.18110079]

My relationship with my father is so confusing and complicated...

[Anonymous No.18110083]

>>18109825
Just go teach overseas for a few years. I graduated with an economics degree but in retrospect, I wish I had just studied lit and been a teacher somewhere else.

[Anonymous No.18110096]

>>18107142
It just sounds easier said than done. I don’t want to commiserate here but in the interest of honesty and upfrontness, I’m just at a point where I don’t really feel like it’s worth it. I have a way I want to live that I think could be worth it but that way of living, I think, is pretty much unattainable and so it’s like there’s nothing left. Why bother? The utilarian thing to do would be to adopt out. In fact, that’s somewhat aligned with my generally kind of unmotivated apathetic nature.

[Anonymous No.18110114]

Saw a few posters repeating the same weird phrase in a thread, I think they were bots. Troubling times.

[Anonymous No.18110123]

When I turn 40 I’m going to have a Van Morrison themed birthday party. I hold the sincere belief that Can Morrison was, has, and will always be 40. Older to the young and young to the old. Not even in a bad way, but in a 40 way.

[Anonymous No.18110133]

>>18104435
having potential =/= being destined to greatness

[Anonymous No.18110136]

>>18104531
i don´t like my birthdays because it makes me aware of my own mortality

[Anonymous No.18110214]

>>18109770
>Identify what would make you great
how?

[Anonymous No.18110329]

Sometimes it happens that when I'm arguing on /lit/, I get pissed off and get progressively more mean and condescending, and at some point the other anon stops replying. Then I realize what I was saying and feel bad and guilty that I probably hurt him. Ah God please forgive me.

[Anonymous No.18110331]

>>18110136
You don't want to be aware of your mortality?

[Anonymous No.18110355]

>>18110083
I've thought about it one of jobs is in Cairo, which will be cool. The only problem is that my arabic is shit.

[Anonymous No.18110396]

I hope that, if I wait 2 or 3 years and contact her again, she would forgive me by then. I don't seem to have any other choice.

[Anonymous No.18110401]

>>18110329
they probably deserved it. if you can't keep up on a shitflinging fight on 4chan you shouldn't be here. also you're likely a raging faggot and much more retarded than you realize

[Anonymous No.18110403]

>>18104417
this life shit is fucking wild, seriously cannot wait til reality collapses

[Anonymous No.18110413]

>>18110396
She won't. Don't get hung up on her, she was a bitch, truly anyway. I know you don't like the use of that word towards her, especially. But that's what she was. Let the bitch go. She'll have moved on by then, anyway, and will have mostly forgotten why you mattered. Not you, per se, but just why you mattered to begin with.

Take a few days off, re-think things and get your head back in the game, my friend.

[Anonymous No.18110492]

>>18110413
Thank you anon but this time it was truly my fault. I don't think I could blame her.

[Anonymous No.18110529]

>>18110492
what did you do man

[Anonymous No.18110563]

>>18110529
I left her and then regretted it. It isn't something too important really, I don't think I should trouble anons with these trifles.

[Anonymous No.18110584]

>>18110563
why did you leave her to begin with

[Anonymous No.18110605]

>>18104629
I don’t even have goals, which is sad at times but liberating at others

[Anonymous No.18110619]

I just feel sad. That is all.

[Anonymous No.18110668]

Why do men think women are completely different from them?

[Anonymous No.18110687]

>>18110668
>Why do people think things other than what I think?

[Anonymous No.18110697]

>>18110668
pop culture, also it's easier to think that way if you don't meaningfully interact with women very often

[Anonymous No.18110710]

Life is as beauty as a flower, and so it will cease to exist.

[Anonymous No.18110713]

I was waltzing with my darling to the Tenessee waltz, when an old friend I happened to see. I introduced him to my loved one, and while they were dancing, my friend stole my sweetheart from me.

[Anonymous No.18110724]

>>18104417

Industrial-capitalism has stolen man's agency and purpose.

[Anonymous No.18110728]

I'm so tired of burning out. Every few months I pick an activity, grind it out, get good at it, but then give up. Not out of failure, but out of boredom. How does one stay passionate to something forever?

[Anonymous No.18110729]

>>18110668
I think it’s a philosophical uncanny valley. Men don’t compare themselves to wolves and become exceedingly bitter about their daily interactions with wolves or elephants or trees. But women are so close to men in almost every way except for the fact that they are women and not men, that men will begin to flesh out the most minute of differences and enrage themselves by something they are so genetically infatuated with. Basically I’m saying they’re retarded and should find something better to do. There are some women I relate to more than some men. It’s just another variable in the long list of things /pol/ likes to put blame on.

[Anonymous No.18110742]

>>18110724
but shouldn't it still be possible to hope or salvation just as fervently as before?

[Anonymous No.18110751]

>>18110724
Man never had agency or purpose in the first place.

[Anonymous No.18110776]

>>18110751

Our purpose was in providing and sharing in the goodness of those around us. This method of living has been erased in an effort to commodify human beings and in the pursuit of maximal resource acquisition and production.

We've become a species that has been mutilated into living lile machines. The modern world is the greatest evil imagineable and it is actively exterminating our only chance at redemption.

[Anonymous No.18110778]

>>18106521
Solar flares and jupiter's surface are just sublime.

[Anonymous No.18110784]

>>18110776
It started long before industrial-capitalism, industrial-capitalism is just more effective at it.

[Anonymous No.18110786]

>>18110776
>tfw when you’ll never be a part of Anarchist communes that bake pies for grandmas and walk each other’s dogs after tending the community garden
Why live.

[Anonymous No.18110807]

>>18107695
I would love to grab decent people and get them on a private chat server but I don't trust anybody from here. Every person I have met from here was awful in one way or the other.

[Anonymous No.18110832]

>>18110807
>implying you aren't awful too

[Anonymous No.18110860]

>>18110832
Right now? Yeah. I contribute nothing. I used to be enthusiastic and I would try to keep this place and other places I visited alive and active. But I've seen time and time again that if you put effort into something that effort is wasted, and shitty bait threads get to bump limit. Not just on 4chan but in general, effort and involvement and heart and creativity don't matter anymore, it's all just bait and arguing and memes. I sound like many other people but God knows how many times I've tried and for how long I tried to keep this stupid act up.

[Anonymous No.18110939]

>>18110860
There's plenty of meaning and fulfilment in life, but you're unlikely to find it on 4chan or the internet in general. There's plenty other things in life full of meaning. Build a family. Become a writer. Actualize yourself. Become who you are.

[Anonymous No.18110996]

>>18104417
I have come to realize that when it comes to writing, I am somewhat of a parasite. That sounds weird, so let me explain.

I struggle with writing original work, but I was pretty productive as a writer when I was writing fanfiction. It's like if I am given the germ of a setting and characters, I can write stuff, but when it comes to original fiction, everything I do falls flat and seems cringy. My settings seem like knockoffs, my characters lifeless. But with fanfic, even my alternate unvierse works seem.... I dunno, more real?

In any case, I think the best metric is word count: I wrote 150,000+ words of fanfic in 3 months back when I was writing fanfic, and only 3,000 words of OC in the 18 months since I committed to writing OC. I sort of want to go back to writing fanfic; I was productive then. And it's not like I intend on becoming a writer as a profession anyway.

[Anonymous No.18111112]

Okay, now I'm convinced Jimmy Dore is a CCP asset. He has Max Blumenthal and Aaron Mate on all the time as second mics, more than just occasional guests, and they are both definitely CCP propaganda assets and Uyghur genocide deniers. I figured maybe Jimmy is just clueless. Now he has Jeffrey Sachs on, another definite CCP shill and Uyghur genocide denier.

Amazing how it works. I wonder what exactly is going on behind the scenes there. Is Dore just a useful idiot? Is there money changing hands?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVbshzeZo58

[Anonymous No.18111155]

I want to get into sociology. Any good introductory books you would recommend? or just a chart

[Anonymous No.18111240]

>>18110996

No shit, writing your own stuff is harder. Maybe if you got more than 3000 words in you'd get the same feeling of familiarity where the crucial elements are already in place.

[Anonymous No.18111329]

What would Pound think of modern Beijing?

[Anonymous No.18111337]

>>18110728
Grinding it out makes it sound like you’re not having fun and the key to doing it is to enjoy it. You have to turn work into play.

[Anonymous No.18111346]

>>18111155
Durkheim. Only has 4 major works. Quite good stuff, actually interesting writing. Easy to branch off of there.

[Anonymous No.18111353]

test

[Anonymous No.18111356]

I'm not absurd YOU'RE absurd. Fuck off Camus get out of my head!

[Anonymous No.18111434]

bless this awful year for letting me clear my mind and get motivated

[Anonymous No.18111623]

Definition of chopping: when I chop at full strength with my hand against a cement brick the bones in my hand break

[Anonymous No.18111662]

>>18104691
https://youtu.be/a1IBpsuCI14

[Anonymous No.18111681]

Eye'm gay.

[Anonymous No.18111707]

>>18110668
Because they are
2 entirely different species

[Anonymous No.18111752]

A griefer mod keeps deleting my posts.
Look at this thread. I'm crying.
>>/lit/thread/18111540

[Anonymous No.18111763]

>>18104435
"Was destined for greatness"

The "was" is a dead giveaway. Destiny does not exist in the past. It either is or is not. Reconsider your fate given the present.

[Anonymous No.18111774]

>>18105007
Is love a prison or is the prison we perceive something else?

[Anonymous No.18111784]

>>18111752
With all due respect you are not as funny as you think

>>18111240
Well yeah, but I keep feeling like everything I write is a knockoff of ASOIAF or LOTR

[Anonymous No.18111793]

>>18111784
I'm not joking, though. It's just a reference to HP Lovecraft, not a joke. Do you think references are jokes?

[Anonymous No.18111803]

I think I‘ll kill myself when I have a job and a relationship. When I've somehow achieved my fullfilment state and realize that it doesn't help, that I'm still miserable, that will do it
If it never happens (more likely) I will just live my life and grow older, and I'll be sad but I will still imagine that things could be better

[Anonymous No.18111834]

>>18110331
yes

[Anonymous No.18111861]

>>18111793
Sorry, you're right. I concede.

[Anonymous No.18111942]

Y'all watching the oscars tonight?

[Anonymous No.18111943]

I’m about halfway through Dostoevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov and I’m really not loving it so far. It’s okay but I have to force myself to keep reading it. A little disappointing since I liked his other books.

[Anonymous No.18111953]

Any of you writers or serious readers who just have stretches of days where you struggle to read much of anything? I’m in a slump at the moment and don’t really want to do much of anything.

[Anonymous No.18111957]

>>18111803
>I won't kill myself now, when I am a useless sack of shit
>I'll do it when there are people who depend on me and care about me

[Anonymous No.18111970]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_cjKwBfoXM&t=1434s

[Anonymous No.18111976]

>>18111957
I‘m not allowed to wish my circumstances improve and try to make that happen?
By your logic everyone has to choose life or suicide at birth and either form relationships or avoid all of them, lest someone ends up "depending"

[Anonymous No.18111989]

>>18111976
The difference is you're actively planning for it.

[Anonymous No.18112017]

>>18111989
I wouldn't say so. I just think that that's how it's gonna go down
Right now I'm still hopeful, but if I honestly reflect and look at my parents for example, I have to admit that this "if I get x I‘ll be happy" thing is just imaginary, not real. Carrot on a stick for myself

[Anonymous No.18112084]

>>18104417

It looks like my life is headed down a path of senseless and excessive work hours and hollow relationships. Fucking awful, I feel like a slave already. How can you possibly find meaning in a petty and mediocre existence? Mediocrity and honesty have no place with one another and the shitty narcissism of our time is probably necessary for existence

[Anonymous No.18112111]

>>18110778
Jupiter doesn't have a surface, checkmate mate.

[Anonymous No.18112125]

>>18110079
go on

[Anonymous No.18112375]

All I want is power and domination.

I don't care for anything else in life.

[Anonymous No.18112391]

>>18110668
>Why don't men want to compare themselves to the shorter, wider, more demure sex that accepts foreign objects inside of them
I wonder why!
>>18110697
Actually, pop culture is precisely what tells you men and women are not much different after all.

[Anonymous No.18112407]

>>18112391
>the shorter, wider, more demure sex that accepts foreign objects inside of them
Have you ever seen a twink?

[Anonymous No.18112417]

Consume consume consume. That's all you people do, not a single interesting thing has ever appeared on your screen ever since you came on this site. I don't think any of you people are real, rather I refuse to believe you're real.

[Anonymous No.18112422]

>>18112407
I don't consider them men either.

[Anonymous No.18112424]

>>18112422
>denying biological reality because muh feelings
dilate

[Anonymous No.18112550]

>>18110724
It’s still there if you look hard king

[Anonymous No.18112591]

I'm generally happy and grateful for my many blessings. Life is boring or lonely, at worst. Occasionally I'm struck with "tfwnogf" but I mostly can't complain thank God.

>>18104417
the word "genocide" was coined initially to describe what happened in Armenia. From that angle it's a genocide, see pic related. I also believe there was intent to wipe out the Armenian nation but that's more complicated to prove obviously

[Anonymous No.18112592]

I marinated and fried chicken for the first time. Turns out it was easier than I expected.
What is it about cooking that makes it seem so daunting and complicated but once you get into it, you realise it's not that hard?

[Anonymous No.18112602]

>>18112592
It's not easy, you're just too good, anon!

[Anonymous No.18112700]

I have to confess that I have a secret affinity for anime and especially isekai anime. I'm not completely sure why since I've pretty much grown out of fantasy as a literary and movie genre. There's just something there that I find important and appealing.

[Anonymous No.18112707]

Too many online entertainment communities consist of young isolated people who lost necessary contexts in order to put their perceived centers of the world in perspective. The big numbers can trick people into thinking these e-celebs are original, worth watching or important. We need something like an online context awareness guide. Everything is happening at the same time but too many people don't realize that

[Anonymous No.18112711]

>>18112592
Nobody writes down recipes or instructions on how to do the basic everyday shit, like steaming vegetables or frying an egg, because it's assumed that everyone interested in cooking already knows how to do them. If you only read cookbooks and recipes you'll get the impression that cooking is very complicated, but that's only because it's the complicated stuff that needs to be written down. When I taught myself how to cook I had to work backwards, starting with complicated recipes that I found on the net and using them to learn the basics. It's counter-intuitive, but unless you have someone to teach you it's the best way to gain experience.

[Anonymous No.18112714]

I’m a little cat
Pit pit pat

[Anonymous No.18112725]

>>18112417
i've never learned anything DIRECTLY from this site, but people occasionally drop interesting terms that are nucleation sites for interesting reading and research. if you're expecting to see something insightful DIRECTLY from a comment here, then we're too different to communicate.

[Anonymous No.18112733]

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GopJ1x7vK2Q
this interview is so much better than the meme one

[Anonymous No.18112766]

Going to a psychologist for mental health issues is such a catch-22. To some extent going to the psychologist signals that you are ready to improve yourself. But you are admitting to yourself that you cant handle your issues without seeking professional help. And what if you are seeing a psychologist and want to stop? Does that mean you no longer care to improve yourself? Besides that, its in your psychologists best interest to keep you mildly mentally unwell so you stay in counseling.
To be fair I have only been to therapy like 4 times in college because of bad anxiety. It was 100% not for me. Just started going to the gym, eating right, and learned to completely shelf my emotions apart from my mood. Fucking nothing phases me anymore and I love it.

All this to ask: is therapy actually useful? Sure seems like a snake oil scam besides cognitive behavioral therapy which you can just google.

[Anonymous No.18112775]

>>18112725
Seconding this, this site is really good for finding better things to burn time on

[Anonymous No.18112794]

>>18112375
>my middle school power fantasy
Or: how I learned to be completely unlikable

[Anonymous No.18112826]

>>18104417
I'm starting to think reading fiction is a waste of time, I didn't enjoy the last books I read and I'm not really enjoying the books I'm currently reading.
But maybe I'm just depressed and fiction is okay.

[Anonymous No.18112875]

I have felt much better the past week or so compared to the week or two preceding it. There's always so much to enjoy and be grateful for, and if it isn't much, there's so much you can strive for and cultivate into being grateful for. And everyday is an opportunity that we're blessed with to do that. Unfortunately, and understandably, at times it can be difficult to recognize and appreciate this

[Anonymous No.18112886]

>>18112707
It's too late anon, we're past the point of no return. Your concern is appreciated by me though :)

[Anonymous No.18112895]

>>18111953
I force myself to read everyday even if it's barely anything. Some days it's not forced at all and I read a lot and love it. Some days, I'm not that into it but don't want to fall out of the habit and completely abandon reading

[Anonymous No.18112957]

india's health ambassador vivikh died one day after taking the vaccine. it was due to cardiogenic shock not that vaccine though. just an unfortunate coincidence.

[Anonymous No.18113030]

>>18111112
This is a regular take by many liberals - false equivalency and what-about-ism when other countries commit atrocities. They compared our TPP exit and police brutality as a sign that we're supposedly the same because we commit human rights atrocities. As the Unabomber says about leftists:


>They SAY they hate the West because it is warlike, imperialistic, sexist, ethnocentric and so forth, but where these same faults appear in socialist countries or in primitive cultures, the leftist finds excuses for them, or at best he GRUDGINGLY admits that they exist; whereas he ENTHUSIASTICALLY points out (and often greatly exaggerates) these faults where they appear in Western civilization.

That said the legacy media is probably incentivized to cover the Uyghur camps so they can take the spotlight away from the actual threats of China to the US, which are overlooked because they benefit the monied interests in America.

[Anonymous No.18113355]

My fatty friend flirts with me and viceversa. She said she's down to fuck but then the virus hasn't gone away.

[Anonymous No.18113359]

>>18112766
>And what if you are seeing a psychologist and want to stop?
Then you stop, no one is forcing you to say. If anything one should be encouraged to switch therapist if theres no connection between the therapist and the client after 4 sessions.
>is therapy actually useful?
it depends on what you want out of it.

[Anonymous No.18113365]

>>18111803
Do you want kids

[Anonymous No.18113366]

>>18111953
I've read roughly the same amount of books each year for the past decade and most years have featured a period or two like that. Sometimes it is lack of time, sometimes I feel like doing other things, sometimes I just don't feel like doing anything. It always passes eventually though.

[Anonymous No.18113754]

I am in love with a woman, and it is reciprocated, but I am not a man. If I were to pursue a relationship with this person, it would be nothing more than a farce. Any books to cope with this feel?

[Anonymous No.18113817]

After meeting my gf I've realized she's probably the only person that I've ever truly loved. It also made me realize that I hate my family and almost all of my friends because they're shitty like most of the people and I feel like they bring me down. Have you guys ever had a similiar experience?

[Anonymous No.18113830]

>>18113754
just ask butters, you carpet muncher

[Anonymous No.18113845]

>>18113817
I don't have a gf nor true friends but my family is ok for the most part.

[Anonymous No.18113859]

Do you ever just stop and think how much happier you would be if you were more neurotypical?

[Anonymous No.18113862]

>>18113859
Yeah, i wish i'd be happy idiot.

[Anonymous No.18113972]

>>18112826
I'm starting to sink into the idea that everything is fundamentally not just useless but also damaging to one's integrity. I've all but quit consuming everything that isn't manuals, handbooks etc. I'm starting to resent everything I perceive as a product, I really hate consumerism and I hate how people relate to products now, that they're more of a thing you need to display you're "in" rather than something you use for your own personal growth.

[Anonymous No.18114034]

>>18104417
the narrative over here is that both sides were bad and it doesnt fit the definition of a genocide. i have no doubt we were bad but when someone is accused of genocide, someone else is prolly hiding one of their own.
>>18104519
yep. in 2 my horse died a sad and funny death but every frame is a painting, especially in fps
>>18104531
happy birthday. birthdays are the worst day of the year for me so maybe it gets better for u too. nothing is good when its supposed to be
>>18104629
ive achieved some of my goals. its best to not be too goal oriented and not have fame as a goal.
>>18104687
i never think about it seriously, but just the thought is very liberating sometimes
>>18104877
i feel u. those suck ass
>>18105225
>I have surrounded myself with over 400 books
i wonder what your problem is
>>18110778
>>18106521
you guys see saturns pole? they think its a storm but what sort of storm has edges?
>>18108770
go back out
>>18108841
happy birthday
>>18108902
this happened to me. make the most of it. make a playlist for her.
>>18109638
nice interpretation. the inevitablitiy of "divine order" in nature or peoples fate is scary and awful. cycle of cycles...
>>18110329
i stop replying sometimes to not give the other the satisfaction. god forgives, but dont be mean if the discussion is worth continuing
>>18110403
yep. my bets are on june
>>18110619
its okay to be so
>>18112417
i come here for the thriving art scene
>>18112826
fiction has inherent value if you enjoy it. youre depressed.

[Anonymous No.18114126]

>>18113365
I do, but for selfish reasons.
Personally I‘d rather not have been born, and I wish my parents didn't operate under the impression that I would provide them with happiness and meaning, which I don't think I did. Given that I think having a child would be morally questionable for me
If I had children suicide would definitely be morally wrong as well, but I wouldn't want to use them as a tool to avoid that either
All in all it's not just up to me on my own, and currently it seems unlikely I‘ll ever have kids

[Anonymous No.18114138]

I feeling sad and pathetic, now that i'm 30 next year and i dont have anything to show.

[Anonymous No.18114299]

3am I'm just trying to sleep

[Anonymous No.18114332]

>>18114126
I was just confused at your idea of a fulfillment state in a job you'll definitely hate and a relationship (not even a wife?) instead of something more meaningful, like having a family and kids who you can leave behind to carry on your legacy. Maybe that can inject meaning into your life, but then again if it doesn't and you kys after that and leave behind two broken kids and a single mother you're causing the most pain. If I was intent on suicide I wouldn't spend my final years achieving mediocrity, no offense.

[Anonymous No.18114501]

>>18108177
>Listen close
u cant listen to text

[Anonymous No.18114530]

>>18114332
I think you're right, I guess I just worded it this way out of unconscious pessimism sort of. Having your own family seems like the dream/ end goal, but it just seems completely unrealistic for me at this point, can't really imagine it
And we both agree that suicide is morally unconscionable if you have children
You're also right that I'll definitely hate my job, I'm in STEM

[Anonymous No.18114857]

>>18114501
alexa read this post to me

[Anonymous No.18114991]

I dont see any point in continue living yet i dont see any point in killing myself. What a story.

[Anonymous No.18115051]

why isn't there any books about being evil?
god created evil, hence it matters as well
evil has a place in this world too, it has purpose
for example, prostitutes seduces men so that those who resist them deserves heaven
without prostitutes, no one truly deserves heaven

[Anonymous No.18115088]

>>18115051
>without prostitutes, no one truly deserves heaven
What? Anyway if you're looking for a pro-evil books check out Maldoror

[Anonymous No.18115117]

>>18104417
Work stresses me out because I always think I just fuck things up even more, so my coping mechanism has been to just straight up not work. That ends up creating some more stress because now I’m worried about if I’ll get fired for blowing it off. The right option is probably to just do the work and deal with it if I fuck up, but it just seems so scary after a year of blowing things off.

[Anonymous No.18115154]

>>18115088
i should have phrased that better
its more like
no one really knows for sure they are worthy of heavens
they were never truly tested
challenges are what makes a person
this is like letting something who never took SAT into Harvard, we never really know if he would excel the exam, but he seems like a smart person so I guess yea?

[Anonymous No.18115174]

>>18115154
this is the meaning behind the relationship between Moses and Pharaoh: Moses can only be Moses because of Pharaoh. Therefore Pharaoh has played a necessary part, and could in some ways be seen as having a right to speak on this in front of God. Rumi wrote about this. As for what's right I don't know, I just thought it might interest you.

[Anonymous No.18115244]

There's a SADIE w/great potential who is EMAILING me and pretending to be OUTRAGED at things I do, DID, type etc. (a SILLY AF strategy from the SADIE playbook - na mean?). I keep wanting to HELP her to be COO enuff for ROCK N ROLL but I'm afraid she's beyond REHABILITATION.

[Anonymous No.18115287]

>>18115051
Maybe there is an imbalance, and it's easier to be evil than good. If so then you can think of evil as our default that we strive away from, then it makes sense why there wouldn't be books about being evil, like as a how-to guide.

>there are plenty of books about evil though

[Anonymous No.18115517]

Women seem to be driven entirely by instinct, which is why any attempt at guiding them to lead their lifes around virtue so fully fails if their very likelihood isn't threatened.

[Anonymous No.18115632]

>>18115517
One track mind with you people

[Anonymous No.18115643]

>>18115517
Women are kids

[Anonymous No.18115698]

>>18115517
>Why yes, I live my life with accordance with the ebb and flow of my emotions and instincts, ignoring the poison of cold, soulless logic in doing so. How could you tell?

[Anonymous No.18115702]

>>18115517
>Why yes, I live my life in accordance with the ebb and flow of my emotions and instincts, ignoring the poison of cold, soulless logic in doing so. How could you tell?

[Anonymous No.18115732]

>>18115702
A refreshing twist on a stale meme, very nice

[Anonymous No.18115774]

>>18115517
What if she was just cleaning the bathroom floor or at her husband or boyfriend’s place?

[Anonymous No.18115825]

My handwriting is a reflection of my character. It disgusts me.

[Anonymous No.18115838]

Athena is absolutely the worst Greek goddess, all that intelligence but she's every bit as petty and shitty as a Hera or Zeus. Anyone who worshiped her must have been some insufferable motherfucker with BPD.

[Anonymous No.18115845]

Rage mode activated caps lock cruise control


I CAN'T FEEL MY LUNGS. MY BODY IS A COLLAPSED MICRO GASM!? MY PARENTS HAD SEX.

THEN THEY DECIDED TO ABORT ME. MENTALLY. MORTIFICATION AND NEUROSIS.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE- INTO BEING!?

FUCK

PTSD/CPTSD. BEING IS A TRIGGER. THIS IS MEANINGLESS. THE WORST PART OF WAKING UP IS YOU ARE OPENING YOUR EYES. WHEN I WAS MUTILATING MYSELF I'D PUNCH MYSELF IN THE FACE.

I WISH TO CHOP MY LIMBS OFF.

I SKNCERELY TRULY

AM HONEST

AM BEING

DICTIONARIES DONT HELP. THERE IS NO GOD THERE IS NO CURE THERE IS NO MEDICATIONS FOR THE WAY I FEEL . I CAN'T HIDE. I CAN'T HIDE. I'M HELPLESS

DO YOU KNOW HOW THE LIGHT BLINDING
DISINTEGRATING
LIKE A VAMPIRE

I'M IN A CAMPFIRE.
BURNING IN A CAMPFIRE.

I WISH I WAS
ALONE
IN THE WOODS
CAMPING. I MISS MY FAMILY.
ALONE
LEAVE ME ALONE.
EXHAUSTED.
I'M NOT INTERESTED IN SHOUTING THINGS AT SOMEONE ANYMORE.
I'M NOT INTERESTED IN MUTILATING MYSELF ANYMORE.
I'M TIRED
I WANT TO GO HOME
I WANT TO CRAWL INTO MY SKIN.
I HAVE LEFT MY BODY.
IT'S BEEN SUCH A LONG TIME.
EVERYONE LAUGHS WITH YOU.
BUT NOBODY CRJES WITH YOU
YOUR KWN MISERY IS ONLY YOURS YO BARREN
BURDENMJSERYNO ONE SHARES YOUR CRYING nobody wastelands crying you're barren alone
Nobody is crying with you. Nobody is sharing your pain.

It is yours to wallow.

It's just too alone.
Pain.
Barren.

I tried to write this in /b/

[Anonymous No.18115868]

>>18104417
Academia sucks and I feel nothing but disdain for two of my literature professors. They are fucking idiots who love power tripping. Thank god I am done uni. It's very telling that the most attractive professor is also the most polite, fair and actually good at her job whereas the ugly professors are bitter and rigid in their approach to marking. In fact this is a patter I have noticed throughout my entire education. Attractive professors=way happier, better at their jobs, and mark fairly whereas the ones who are genetically unfortunate love to power trip and treat their students like shit.

[Anonymous No.18115946]

Countless hours thinking about girls, thinking about improving my body, thinking about saving my hair....
Now that I got a girl, I can't even bring myself to reply her texts, and I don't really feel excited about going out again
Is he just the wrong girl? Can I even fall in love still? The fuck is wrong with me
Now I'm afraid I'll regeret it later if I turn her down

[Anonymous No.18116011]

>>18115946
Go for it. Go for it solely for the reason that you need to live a little and gain life experience. And stop being so hard on yourself. Yes you have insecurities, I have them, she does too. Most people do. You will regret it if you turn her down. When you're on your deathbed in 60 years, you won't be coughing blood into a napkin saying "man I regret having dated girls" you'll be saying shit like "I regret I didn't live my life more, why did I spend all those hours in my room a lone jerking off to anime and reading analytical philosophy and Karl Marx?"

Go and enjoy life anon! Get out there!

[Anonymous No.18116022]

Yesterday I went through tens of thousands of emails dating all the way back to 05. I feel accomplished for the first time in months. I feel free for the first time in years.

I highly suggest to anyone to clean out their in box.

[Anonymous No.18116034]

I am so mad at myself
I had my assignment done, sitting on my computer
BUT I FORGOT TO SUBMIT IT
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[Anonymous No.18116036]

>>18104417
Is 22 and being khv with a laundry list of engrained sociopsychological problems too early to fear that I will never get to experience a relationship with a young woman, nor marry and start a family?

[Anonymous No.18116058]

>>18115244
don't do that unless you're actually him

[Anonymous No.18116063]

>>18116036
depends if you are completely unlikable and/or ugly, if your problem isn't a lack of trying and your constantly getting rejected you could be in trouble

[Anonymous No.18116101]

>>18116036
Yes, it’s too early. What is the common age that contemporary people marry and have children today? 30? 35? You are talking about being potentially 8+ years out of expected age of marriage. It’s like having the age of marriage be 18 and worrying about being khv when you’re 10. Well, maybe it’s not like that because you are sexually mature, but you get what I’m saying and if you don’t, what I’m trying to say is YOUR timeline is not so abnormal. It’s the societal one that’s all fucked up. Just what is it you think you should you have been doing? Should you have been bedding random girls in one night stands for decades or jumping from one girlfriend to another like they’re toys? Why would either of those have been any better? So yeah, basically I think there is something severely wrong this whole phenomenon of marrying and childbirth in our late 30s. I don’t think there’s something severely wrong with you.

That said, what are you waiting for? If this is something you want, there’s no reason to put it off. That’s actually what you don’t want to do despite what I’ve said above.

[Anonymous No.18116107]

When I was younger I spent 8 hours a day on the computer and it was abnormal. Now regular people do the same thing with their phones. Really makes you think.

[Anonymous No.18116118]

>>18115868
I can’t even tell you how disappointing my college experience was. Once things were said and done, I had spent time in the comparative literature department, the english department, and the classics department (and finally, other unrelated to literature departments). Every one of them was even more disappointing than the last and almost crushed my appreciation of literature entirely.

[Anonymous No.18116121]

>>18116107
The same people who laughed at us playing world of warcraft all day now scroll instagram all day. Hypocrisy. But those people are too stupid to realize it. Don't mean to be an edgelord. But it does rustle my jimmies.

[Anonymous No.18116124]

>>18104417
Why would you rather spend 8 hours reading a book instead of working, researching stocks/crypto, or making money? I'm interested as to why our imaginations and the artist's craft is more important than mere money. What's the value of literature for you, anons?

[Anonymous No.18116141]

>>18116107
I honestly think that sitting that much on a phone is much worse than on computer.

[Anonymous No.18116145]

>>18116124
Cope honestly.

[Anonymous No.18116148]

>>18116107
Why you should ignore the noise and do what you want unless you have a massive need to acquire social capital. Releasing myself from the bonds of social expectations was great for my mental well being. Now I just set expectations for myself and I appear well-adjusted without the constant stress.

[Anonymous No.18116160]

I have written something that I honestly feel is very good, and completely original. Not just an original story, but perhaps the first ever ebook which is medium-essential to being an ebook.

I am proud.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B092VBPC65

You can either read it now for 99 cents, or if you wait until 5pm Aussie time today, it will become available for free for a week and you can get it gratis then.

[Anonymous No.18116165]

I’ve done pretty much nothing I should’ve with my life up to this point. In fact, I’ve actually run away from it. I don’t know what to do now.

[Anonymous No.18116166]

>>18116141
It was so cool when adults thought we had hacker programmer potential and the only end result was that we knew how to network for lan parties. Back in like 05-09 when I was really into the whole computer usage thing, I felt like I could solve any problem and do anything with the magic of a computer. I feel so outdated now. I barely bother to learn new things. Did you know you can double click the format painter to keep the formatting without having to click it every time? What the actual fuck.

[Anonymous No.18116173]

>>18116124
I tie my stock trading into my entertainment and writing hours but I don't day trade. Every time I get an excess of money from work (which is often) I make long term plays, which works. If I wanted to live on 1k a month for the rest of my life now I could BUT nah. Full time job and writing because I'm anti lazy.
I started reading in middle school and started writing at 16 so it's really a calling more than a money thing. It just feels good to write and be creative. I also do canvas paintings sometimes too.
If my books get big one day cool. I'll be retiring easy without question but that's not why I'm writing. It's like lucid dreaming to me but I can share the dream with others.

[Anonymous No.18116178]

>>18116063
I mean, actual autism aside I am about average in looks, keep my self in shape, practice good hygeine, etc. I have friends and even tried dating one, which went nowhere fast and uncovered alot of issues I have like the harrowing diagnosis of covert narcissistic personality disorder along with what seems to be an inability to love due to abuse and the like from childhood. I ended the relationship after learning such things to avoid hurting her any further, or becoming more entagled if we progressed.
And, even after its almost been a year since, I am still contemplating on whether or not I even could get into a stable, healthy relationship with a woman before I am 30.
I also dont get out as much but am looking to change that, but in the little hours where there is only room to think I am plagued by the notion that my lot is a recluse, dying alone, unloved and childless

[Anonymous No.18116204]

>>18116160
Worth mentioning that it's not my first pulished book;

https://www.reddit.com/user/johndavidcard/comments/mtfs6q/shortform_links_bibliography/

But it is without a doubt, my best.

[Anonymous No.18116208]

>>18116165
I know everyone shitposts these books, but if I was young again I wish someone had given them to me. I was an unfocused little shit that didn't know how to study. And because I didn't know how to study I didn't know how to examine things with a critical eye and see what things in the world truly spoke to me.

I'd probably be an arborist instead of a lawyer. But that's beside the point. The point, little anon, is to learn the skills that are applicable to anything and then just pick something. The joy from a hobby or a field of specialty comes in the fact that you know the thing, and that takes time and effort. The whole 'passion' thing is really only a useful motivator for the very beginning when you constantly fail at the most simple thing. Learning guitar, for example. You think it's fun to fail at playing a G, C, Am, F chord progression with bleeding fingers not even able to strum in time? No, of course it's not fun. It's awful. But once you learn that, once you can sing and play at the same time, once you learn to play in front of others, it's so fun to have a sing along with a few beers and a few friends. I wouldn't give it up for anything. But it's taken a little while to get there. Why guitar and not piano or pastels? I unno. My family plays guitar so it fell in my lap. You have to choose something, anon. Anything. And just go for it. I believe in you. :3 <3

[Anonymous No.18116217]

>>18116165
Im in the same situation. I try to look for an inspiration from literature or real people but upon learning about it i become even more devastated. I wish i could say something inspiring and uplifting but i cant. Atleast that wouldnt be from the bottom of my heart.

[Anonymous No.18116218]

>>18116124
I'm not saying money isn't important. It is. You need to eat, a place to live, a way to work, you want to enjoy some comfort, indulge in some in hobbies, etc. And all that requires money. But at the same time, money isn't the most important thing. Physical health, mental health, family/friends/relationships, etc. all matter more than money. So yes, making money is important, as you and your loved ones need it to survive and thrive. But one should make time for things that they enjoy as well.

[Anonymous No.18116231]

>>18116101
You replied while I was responding, I have outlined the gist here >>18116178
But I heavily agree, I intend on aiming for monogamy and am offput by how carelessly espoused sex and such is today. Even theoreticaly marrying in my late 20s feels odd.
Personal aspects aside, I am also studying and working fulltime to sustain myself. This leaves little time for anything even if I knew how to spend it socially.

[Anonymous No.18116237]

>>18116178
Good news is its all in your head
Bad news is its stuck in your head

Exercise, eat right, get hobbies, spend weekends with people, ask grills out, simple as

[Anonymous No.18116257]

>>18116237
Already do the first 3, so good to know.
Thank you, Anon.

[Anonymous No.18116288]

>>18116218
Sounds very balanced anon.

[Anonymous No.18116291]

>>18116231
>Even theoreticaly marrying in my late 20s feels odd.
I would discourage you from that opinion but the thing is, it’s up to you. I don’t think you should wait but just realize that you’re not abnormal because you haven’t yet. Then again, maybe you should want to be abnormal in a sick society?

[Anonymous No.18116337]

>>18116291
Normality today is a very low standard for life. I will have to try harder socailly

[Anonymous No.18116470]

fuck me fuck you fuck them fuck me fuck you fuck them fuck me fuck you fuck them fuck me fuck you fuck them fuck me fuck you fuck them fuck me fuck you fuck them fuck me fuck you fuck them fuck me fuck you fuck them fuck me fuck you fuck them fuck me fuck you fuck them fuck me fuck you fuck them fuck me fuck you fuck them fuck me fuck you fuck them fuck me fuck you fuck them fuck me fuck you fuck them fuck me fuck you fuck them fuck me fuck you fuck them fuck me fuck you fuck them fuck me fuck you fuck them fuck me fuck you fuck them fuck me fuck you fuck them fuck me fuck you fuck them fuck me fuck you fuck them fuck me fuck you fuck them fuck me fuck you fuck them fuck me fuck you fuck them fuck me fuck you fuck them fuck me fuck you fuck them fuck me fuck you fuck them fuck me fuck you fuck them

[Anonymous No.18116482]

>>18116470
I feel like I've seen this before in an Austin Powers movie.

[Anonymous No.18116532]

>>18116208
I feel bad because I am at the tail end of my college career and I honestly feel like I squandered a lot of it. Yeah, I got A's and B's, and I learned a lot, but I don't feel like I achieved what I know I am capable of. I am trying to improve my learning/work skills but a part of me feels like I am doing it too late for it to matter now

[Anonymous No.18116720]

>>18116532
Don't be afraid of underachieving. As long as youre self-sustainable, happy, and not causing grief to others you are already an exceptional person.

[Anonymous No.18116733]

I just made the calculations.... The next breakthrough in philosophy, a transition from postmodern to some postpostmodern philosophy, will occur in 20-30 years, probably around late 2040s to early 2050s. Expect a new era around then; save this post to check my accuracy. And I know there's people claiming to be "postpostmodern", that's not what I'm talking about, it'll be something like Descartes starting the modern era.

[Anonymous No.18116745]

>>18116733
postpostmodernism is a shitty ass name. Post ideas about a better naming schema for philosophy.

[Anonymous No.18116788]

>>18116124
Used to make music and read with my whole day and now I'm programming and building a (music) biz. Covid shook me out of this internal dream I was in where i assumed it sustainable to continue putting off the importance of money and the functional world. If I had the money I'd immediately revert to my old lifestyle but until I'm able to feed and clothe myself without being on someone elses schedule I consider my old lifestyle a childish dream.

[Anonymous No.18116808]

>>18109845
She ghosted my so I guess we both are not ready for this. I kinda feel bad, because my first thought was that she resents me and doesn't want to have anything in common with me, but then I thought she may need some help, maybe something's going wrong with her life. Then, I can't offer her any support at all, so I stopped bothering.
Sometimes I feel like there are two persons living inside my body - one emotional, irrational, devastated by the reality, and the other - logical, cold, taking everything less personally and generally more caring. I guess I like more the robotic me, but I'm pretty sure I need to balance this two personalities for the sake of my mental health and well-being of the ones I consider dear to me. Is this the personality disorder, or just the duality of man? Can't tell, but I know that one of this persons inside me needs help while the other provides that very help.
Shit.

[Anonymous No.18116813]

>>18116745
It'll have to literally be postpostmodern because right now we're in "postmodern". Blame the people who called an era of philosophy "modern". Now we have to call philosophy before modern "premodern" and after postmodern we'll have to call everything before "prepostpostmodern".

[Anonymous No.18116903]

>>18111942
no
any reason why I should?

[Anonymous No.18116926]

>>18104435
You aren’t destine for shit.

[Anonymous No.18116941]

>>18106138
Aren’t both fun?

[Anonymous No.18116949]

>>18116124
I don't spend 8 hours reading a book. That's a waste of time.

[Anonymous No.18116968]

>>18107211
What broke Him?

[Anonymous No.18116985]

>>18116160
>>18116204
> John Card
Fuck out of here.

[Anonymous No.18116988]

>>18104687
Explain Pic to me please

[Anonymous No.18117000]

>>18116988
Seems self-explanatory.

[Anonymous No.18117001]

>>18116532
I am the anon who posted at you. I am 30. At the end of my undergrad I had got into drinking and partying. I had barely scratched the surface of my technical skills upon graduating. My ability to word process and graphic design was pathetic. The fact that it's even a thought crossing your mind right now is a good thing. The fact that you aren't spending 3000 hours in dota 2 and then getting black out drunk on the weekends is AWESOME. I didn't get back into literature until law school. I didn't sit down and start woodworking or playing guitar seriously until a few years after undergrad. Take the time right now to set some short term skill based goals, arm yourself with knowledge and ability. I recently read the Book of the Five rings like a total weeb and I found it as a conceptual work about skill to be enlightening.

Look at your degree. Look at your current skillset. If you were to become one of the top talents in your field, what technical skills would give you an edge on everyone else? Is it something physical like penmanship or maybe more conceptual like your note taking system and synthesis of information. Do you need to learn a process you didn't learn in school? For example, law school doesn't teach you how to talk to judges or file paperwork or how to sell yourself (which is a big part of the job).

I know this thread is about to die and it's cringe to blog, but if you could at least share your major and the things you like, maybe we anons can help you brainstorm the particulars of what skills would be most helpful.

[Anonymous No.18117010]

>>18116788
Good, i supposed?

[Anonymous No.18117017]

New thread

>>18117014

[Anonymous No.18117989]

>>18112592
>What is it about cooking that makes it seem so daunting and complicate
Are you like 16?

[Anonymous No.18118290]

>>18117000
Its not

[Anonymous No.18118307]

>>18117001
Thank u