Write what's on your mind

[Anonymous No.18329483]

[Anonymous No.18329489]

>>18329483
adriana

[Anonymous No.18329501]

>>18329483
I don't want to keep feeling so dumb

[Anonymous No.18329508]

I’m thinking about Quaaludes

[Anonymous No.18329521]

Is there any shame in writing YA fiction, light novels, web novels, sci fi, fantasy, and other sorts of commercial low brow lit if you still have ambitions as a writer of literary fiction?

The truth is, I still enjoy this stuff. Actually, the older I get, the more I appreciate them for what they are even if the stories themselves don’t pull in as much. And let’s not forget that this is where the money is. We don’t have this big short story publishing industry or journalism like writers of the past did. It’s easier to make some income by writing web novel commissions and fantasy than by penning your short stories and your novels and simply praying that it gets popular.

[Anonymous No.18329526]

>>18329508
I love this guy

[Anonymous No.18329551]

>>18328910
>>18328937

This is some Makoto Aida shit anon

[Anonymous No.18329563]

>>18329521
I am really not sure what it means to be an "accomplished writer" in the modern age. Maybe the low-brow is enough, you just have to get a Game of Thrones tv show out of it.

[Anonymous No.18329572]

>>18329508
>>18329526
https://youtu.be/eZO8ZAuVghA

[Anonymous No.18329607]

>>18329483
its been one year since my grandfather's death. He was and is the smartest personbive ever met. I miss him everyday and his wisdom to me was invaluable to me now that he is gone and the changes in my life have become more concentrated.

in my managing my new wife, new degree, new life and new job, his words of wisdom continue to bring me sollace and resolution. His knowledge of history and love of reading and learning have pushed me to take academics more seriously, and his gentle softspoken words of affirmation and praise continue to echo softly in my memory.

however, the tyranny of time is striking me now more than ever. I realized the other day that in my memories i can no longer hear his voice. all his words are merely spoken in my own tenor within my mind. Though i see him in pictures and recognize him, i can no longer picture him in my minds eye.

it feels simultaneously like he has been gone for centuries and yet the thought of him causes tears as if the pain of death was fresh as yesterday. for me there has been no resolution or closure, merely temporary amnesia of life's losses and sudden painful return of memories when reminded of the absence he creates.

i miss you Pop.

[Anonymous No.18329614]

>mom dying of cancer or something idk lmao
>reads the bible constantly in the hospital
>I look up from the first page of Finnegans Wake that I had been perusing (this being my 4th re-reading of the ol Wake, of course), simultaneously skimming then subvocalizing and then finally fully vocalizing each passage, and I notice she is reading the KJV
>I snicker
>mother looks up, giving a weak, grotesquely skeletal smile and says "a-anon, remember when I used to read you the nativity scenes each Christmas to y-you"
>my response is the deliberate flipping of the page as my irish-tinged narration rises slightly to subtly let her know I am in no talking mood
>"th-that book y-you're reading, anon, sounds so hard. I really am p-proud of you."
>I say I wish I could say the same about you
>she is taken aback and timidly quandaries "but anon, the bible is one of the most important books in the world"
>I scoff openly as I reach for the copy of Origins: Fourteen Billion Years of Cosmic Evolution that I always turn to when Joyce no longer provides enough intellectual stimulation for me
>"actually," I say "the bible isn't essential to the western canon. the hyms to Dionysus would rank far higher in the development of western transcendental epistemological, ontic-ontologic thought."
>the bitch starts tearing up, wholly refuted, and says "a-anon" *cough cough* "I'll a-always love my b-bright young boy."
>I go over to her hospital bed and tap on the leather of her bible
>"I'm only bright because I didn't bother with this sort of hoi polloi hack pulp."
>I go out to the vending machine to get myself a soda with a few quarters I found in my mom's purse
>a qt nurse comes up to me and says she's sorry at how bad my mother's condition is. pity sex is basically a guarantee at this point
>"yyyyeah" I yawn, "but as Joyce said" I say, tapping the emergency copy of Finnegans Wake that I always have in my pocket "bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonner-
ronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthur-
nuk" (I had to pause halfway through to look up the rest but I'm pretty sure she was still impressed
>I imagine how cool it would be to pinch her ass as I walk away
>don't do it but chuckle to myself thinking how alpha it was that I thought to

[Anonymous No.18329645]

im not gonna write a book about the 21st century called 'whores and hooligans'

[Anonymous No.18329667]

I get these periods in my life where i get obsessed with something and i do it everyday (boxing, lifting, programming etc) but eventually i get kinda bored with it and just drop it altogether. Lately i do this with reading and im afraid i might get bored with it at some point.

[Anonymous No.18329735]

>>18329614
this honestly just made me feel really sad

[Anonymous No.18329750]

god took my sight and gave me dreams of becoming a fighter pilot. rotten bastard. whats the game plan here?
back to the gym
COME ON YOU FUCKING FUCK ANOTHER REP AND WE'LL FINALLY BE FREE FROM IT ALLLLLLLLLLLLL

[Anonymous No.18329802]

>>18329483
Have any of you been in a relationship where your partner was jealous of your mother ? While i was trying to explain to my girlfriend the debt i owed to the woman who gave everything up for me and provided the best possible life anyone could ever ask for, she told to literally go fuck her since i loved her so much. Is this a common problem ?

[Anonymous No.18329908]

worked on my paper for 3-4 hours. taking a break. might take a nap. it feels like shit but I'll probably pass. it's odd how in most uni courses, if they were 1 week longer, I oculd probably get mostly As, but at the pace we're going I just don't quite have the time to wrap myself around the material fully and end up getting Cs. It's odd that it boils down to this time factor, not comprehension. Anyway I feel like shit, I've slept weird for a long time now, it's really cold in my apartment, has been raining for a few days. If I can write another half page or so today I will be looking pretty good. Roughly a week left of this semester.

[Anonymous No.18330018]

hmmmmmmmmm, i believe i shall browse the internet today. but which website suits my tastes? well let's see, i reflexively agree with the mainstream opinion in every matter and disdain any way of thinking that challenges the status quo... i guess this 4chan place looks good!

[Anonymous No.18330044]

>>18329563
That’s true. I’m not sure the aim here is to be “an accomplished writer”. It’s just to write. But the thing is, as a writer, you want to be read and it would be preferable if the things you write sell so you can keep writing full-time. I think increasingly authors who really aren’t all that interested in commercial lit are going to have dip down into commercial lit to make that happen ESPECIALLY if they stand somewhat outside of the conventional New York publishing circlejerk zeitgeist. As for me, I like some commercial lit and I think there’s opportunity for commercial lit to be more than just low brow commercial lit but the fact remains that it’s not REALLY what I want to write and I suspect other writers are similarly inclined. So what do we do?

[Anonymous No.18330054]

>>18330044
you work as a freelancer to support yourself financially while continuing to research and write about whatever it is that interests you so much.
or, you try to become somewhat infamous through other mediums, best bet is youtube, and use that fame to have a guaranteed reader base

[Anonymous No.18330055]

the first thing i ate today was a piece of red licorice. im such a degenerate

[Anonymous No.18330057]

>>18329802
Yes. I had a relationship where my partner was jealous of my mother and my mother was jealous of my partner. In my case, my mother was, admittedly, a pretty negative influence on me but I still feel a commitment to her for the simple fact that she’s mother. Until one of us is dead, that’s not going to change. That really bothered my girlfriend who on one hand, wanted negative influences removed from me and our relationship and on the other hand, was jealous of my commitment to her. I think my situation was a bit extreme but some jealousy in one direction or another is unfortunately somewhat common.

[Anonymous No.18330067]

>>18330054
YouTube feels so amateur to me. I don’t have the sort of personality necessary to be a YouTube personality and a writer that people want to read. There’s someone out there who is but I don’t think it’s me.

[Anonymous No.18330166]

>>18330067
just don't look at them as mere videos, look at it as filmmaking. it'll improve your output. plus it really doesn't take much to become read. have you ever seen this one guy called exurb1a ? this dude does some of the most surface level ''existential'' sci-fi writing available, pretty much the YA equivalent of philosophical novels, yet he's reaching a million subs and his fans eat up his books like they're nothing. now, i'm not telling you to dumb your shit down, but there's a way to rig the game. you don't even have to make content that's related to your writing. you just have to climb the platform that allows you be seen & heard by a group of people.
either way, i wish you the best of luck, anon.

[Anonymous No.18330172]

>>18329483
I'd much rather be home writing than at my job. It's all I can think about. All. Day. Long.

[Anonymous No.18330227]

dude i am mad tired

[Anonymous No.18330231]

>girl talk about not finding a book to download
>I pass her the b-ok.cc link
>"thanks, now I owe you a beer :)"
>I say that it is fine and that I'm glad to help
>she kind of goes cold
Did I fuck up or am I reading too much into it?

[Anonymous No.18330251]

>>18330231
should have said sure, and asked what her favorite pub was mate.

[Anonymous No.18330274]

>>18330231
>cockblocked by autism
many such cases. she just asked you out and you said no. of course she's going to go cold.

[Anonymous No.18330295]

>>18330231
Just check-in with her again and maybe hit her up again, if you maybe already know it's convenient for her. You could also scuddle something with some (mutual) friends and then also invite her. If it goes well you remind her on her offer to get something to drink with you again and bam you have a second date where there is also chemistry between you.

[Anonymous No.18330296]

>>18330231
how long ago? if it was yesterday, tell her you dont drink but you would be fine with dinner instead. you have options anon, play smart and recover strong.

[Anonymous No.18330299]

>>18330231
warm her back up. grab her by the shoulders and ask her what the fuck her problem is, you're not friends anymore? you don't wanna hang out with me?

[Anonymous No.18330314]

>>18330299
Geez Anon, is that how you get laid?

[Anonymous No.18330317]

>>18330231
>"it is fine"

Jesus this board is still just as autistic as the others. Way to say no to an easy layup. Why not:
>"I'll take you up on that ; )"
>"Sounds good, you free Thursday?"

Literally anything would've worked there.

[Anonymous No.18330325]

How do I become more social?

[Anonymous No.18330328]

>>18330314
i don't get physical with them because i'm a huge coward, but yes

[Anonymous No.18330338]

>>18329483
This pandemic has degraded me both physically and mentally. I can also see my peers finding their words harder and generally being less present. It's really fucked up as this 1 year gap will most certain have effects well beyond everyone's expectations

[Anonymous No.18330344]

>>18330325
You try.

[Anonymous No.18330346]

>>18329607
he sounds like a cool guy. i'm sorry for your loss, anon. i also remember my grandfather fondly. he used to be a jokester with a lot of silly mannerisms, which i hold onto dearly to this day. i miss the funny guy.

[Anonymous No.18330350]

>>18330344
I'm not sure what i'm supposed to be trying. I've been socially isolated since childhood and I totally fell off the map after high school

[Anonymous No.18330357]

I don't think philosophy is real, I think it's all semantic games.

[Anonymous No.18330372]

>>18330231
>>18330317
>Literally anything would've worked there.
Kek right?! Even "ok sounds good!"

[Anonymous No.18330389]

>>18330325
You could start small, with starting to get into some stable online communities, where the people don't tend to fluctuate to hard, and you can really get to know people who are interested in the same topic as you are.

Try to be curious about people and what they have to say. It really helped me, because I used to be scared of social interaction and simultaneously bored when I had some interaction. I just thought most people were boring and didn't realize, that I just wasn't interested in them and never really tried to engage with them. Most people have something to offer, it's in your hand if you can find this "something" or not.

[Anonymous No.18330393]

>>18330350
People act like socializing is rocket science. Find things you like to do. Go and do those things in a social setting jfc.
If I said "how to I get more comfortable with driving a car?" What is the answer? Practice driving the fucking car!

[Anonymous No.18330400]

>>18330317
At the time I thought that it would be more polite to refuse it

[Anonymous No.18330415]

>>18330357
Interesting nominalist philosophy you have there :^)

[Anonymous No.18330416]

im in the hospital psych ward right now for suicidal ideation and I don’t think I’m worth anything to anyone. I just bring suffering to people around me. People try to tell me that’s not true but I feel like they’re lying to make me feel better. I’m tired of everything but I can’t abandon my family or my girlfriend. I’ve never been in this condition before and it is very eye opening. I can’t get my opioid addiction under control for more than a few months at a time which results in me disappointing everyone and I can’t take all of my failures anymore.

that’s what is on my mind but I’m sure nobody gives a shit

[Anonymous No.18330433]

>>18330350
My point is: if you stay away from people wondering how it's going to be like or who you should be in order to be social, then there will be no progress. If otherwise you get together with other people, however that may be, you are going to experience good things and bad things, but even with setbacks, there will be progress. Your story doesn't matter and no anon can help you in your specific challenges, I cannot recommend you a precise course, job, pub, or some way to talk to people, but I can recommend you taking any course or job or social gathering in your perspective as an opportunity, as an experience. If you feel you are 90% social just trying to improve or if you feel you have only 1% social skills left, the movement is the same: to try, to talk to people, to enroll in projects, courses, groups of any kind and to endure the initial discomfort and engage more and more often than today.

[Anonymous No.18330434]

>>18330416
They let you post on this shit hole of a website in a psych ward? You need to get your money back

[Anonymous No.18330454]

>>18330415
I did realize the contradiction in my post but there's not much I can do about it. That's the con the philosophers have pulled, any attempt to discuss their study results in you becoming one of them. Shit sucks, I'm going to go work in the garden instead.

[Anonymous No.18330459]

>>18330433
>>18330393
>>18330389
Thanks bros i'll give it a try. I see a few avenues for it. I guess social retardation is my biggest hurdle. I often just freeze up around people. But I suppose it's true that I xan only overcome it through practice.

[Anonymous No.18330461]

>>18330416
there's always at the very least an ounce of truth in what people say. if they keep telling you that it's not true, then you could start considering things from that angle and trying to make sense of their statements through their actions and their general behavior towards you. as for the addiction, you will overcome it with enough time. just understand that as long as you're alive, you haven't failed yet. you'll only know for sure if you failed or succeeded at the very end of your journey.
good luck to you anon. i pray that you find solace.

[Anonymous No.18330466]

>>18330434
I’m as surprised as you are. The hospital IT in Ontario isn’t exactly known for its aptitude. It’s free though and they’ve been treating me really well. I feel guilty but I also have paid a fuckton of taxes in the past 16 years that I’ve worked (I’m 29) so I have probably covered my taxpayer portion of the cost.

[Anonymous No.18330472]

>>18330416
Maybe try switching from opiates to Weed. It might help with the depression and society (depending on where you live) doesn't really care about it. I don't think that being addicted to Weed or smoking Weed in general is a good thing, but I have a lot of friends who were also in Psych Wards due to many different reasons and some of them started smoking, and it literally made life worth living for again. Some of them became regular smokers / developed a Weed addiction, but that is 1000 times simpler to handle than an Opiate Addiction. + Weed is way cheaper than Opiates.

[Anonymous No.18330474]

>>18330466
Man nust be nice to be canadian. The cops would regularly throw my brother into psych wards and slap my dad with a massive bill for it every time.

[Anonymous No.18330476]

>>18330454
Garden work is a lot of fun. You can really let the mind wander and think about nothing for a few hours and just plant some seed or harvest a bit of fruit.

[Anonymous No.18330478]

I fucked up my homemade lasagna pretty bad. It's just like my life.

[Anonymous No.18330488]

>>18330416
How bad is the opioid addiction?

t. Kicked benzo addiction 3 years ago

[Anonymous No.18330495]

I fucked up. How could my life and my mistakes come to this? I wish I had never started college and that I had focused in solving my mental problems and getting a job early.
Now, I don't know what I do. Do I lie to my parents that I failed ? How long would I even be able to keep this lie?

I'm so fucking retarded.

[Anonymous No.18330496]

>>18330296
Dinner’s too much. Coffee.

[Anonymous No.18330502]

>>18330416
I don't know you, I can't tell I give a shit to you personally without being a hypocrite, I don't know if what you say is true or not, but I do give a shit about your situation because I've experienced that before with people I love in my own life.

What I can say is that this feeling is understandable. To look around and feel no one cares or no one gets you. I know this feeling and it's a downward spiral. I also know that our bodies are crazy, we have a gigantic range of mindsets available to us and some times we lose control of where we are inside ourselves. That mental place you are right now is not the whole of you. I don't mean to say there is some other happy clueless stupid mindset where you belong, but I can tell you so far that you don't belong in either and that things can change. And when they change you'll look back and feel strange, distant, a little ashamed perhaps, a little glad that it's over, but relieved nevertheless. Go through this, endure, let time heal the bigger open wounds, you'll find the will and the strenght to figure out the rest.

[Anonymous No.18330508]

>>18330496
coffee sucks ass, but i agree dinner was too strong.

its summer: ice cream or something?

[Anonymous No.18330515]

>>18330495
It’s college. In the big picture of things, it really doesn’t matter all that much.

You American? You want to be let in on a little secret? You know what single variable correlates with income and wealth the most? It’s not education. It’s age.

[Anonymous No.18330516]

>>18330495
I had the same fucking experience. Listen man if you're only 19 your life isn't over. Try to explain to them that your mentally fucked and struggling. Sort out your problem, start working. You can always go back to college if you feel like you should. Don't try to sweep this under the rug. I dropped out of university and pissed around at a community college for a couple of years because I couldn't bring myself to make plain that I was suffering in the experience. I wasted years of my life on it. Just embrace reality and take the path you need to.

[Anonymous No.18330518]

>>18330495
Tell them, tell people, ask for help, break that ice, cry openly, don't hold onto it, don't pretend, do what you think is shameful and get over it, you'll feel better later.

t. been there

[Anonymous No.18330526]

>>18330166
I don’t know. That just seems like a lot and not what I want to do. I want to write. I don’t want to make films. If I ever make films I want to be as a writer, not a filmmaker. It just doesn’t appeal to me and I don’t think I have the personality for it anyway. That’s someone else’s game.

[Anonymous No.18330535]

>>18329483
Life really is crazy. If I had never broken up with my girlfriend I would have never gotten in this good of shape at this time, met the good people I did after I got over her and started being more outgoing, and never took the chance on this possible job opportunity that will save me from my corporate hell that I might start in a month.

Every experience opens up a door to another one, no matter how bad it seems. I would have missed these chances if she hadn’t broken my heart, and I hadn’t seen the good in the opportunity. Keep going lads, when things seem down, you just have to keep moving forward. Be in the present moment, be present in life.

[Anonymous No.18330544]

>>18330535
>just b yourself ;^)
thanks Chad.

[Anonymous No.18330551]

>>18330478
i always thought it was fucked up and unfair to jon that garfield couldn't enjoy an easier to prepare food like spaghetti

[Anonymous No.18330579]

>>18330535

[Anonymous No.18330580]

>>18330461
Thank you anon. I appreciate you saying that and I know you are correct. It feels like a downward spiral like >>18330502
said. I don’t know how to get out of this mindset, but this “fuck it all” mindset is what is causing me all these problems.

[Anonymous No.18330641]

>>18330459
Do you write?

[Anonymous No.18330643]

>>18329483
Last night I dreamt about visiting Jun at his house. I went to the door and a woman greeted me and let me in. Jung was to my left, reading a book and sitting in a reclining chair. I told him, "I know I can't buy books, but I've been a customer of yours for a long time now. I thought you could take me to your books so I might get one". The woman seemed exasperated and thought Jung would shoo me off but to her surprise, and mine also, Jung acquiesced. In fact, he seemed quite happy that I came for a visit. He took a lantern, and led me down a spiraling flight of stairs to the basement. Walls were of old mossy stone and the only light was from his lantern. We came to a big room, candles here and there gave a sense of scale to the place. While I was looking around, Jung called to me from the other side of a wall. The wall had a hole the size of a head, and it was at about the same height as one too. I tried to go through the hole, but I simply couldn't. I could see Jung through this hole, he was waiting for me at the end of a corridor and was facing (my) left in anticipation of going there, wherever there was. I shouted at Jung that it was impossible for me to go through the hole, he sighed and walked back to me. He then said, "look bellow, there is the opening, you just have to bring it down". Looking down, I saw an irregularity in the material of the wall. It was in the form of a roman arch which had been closed off with fresh new plaster. Jung crouched and with a groan ripped the thing off from below as if it was paper. I then woke up.

[Anonymous No.18330696]

>>18330488
methadone for 9 years and cheap but strong chink fentanyl sporadically in between. Thankfully my loved ones caught me out before I did enough to really screw myself.

[Anonymous No.18330700]

I'm starting to think God does not like me since my prayers don't get answered.

[Anonymous No.18330707]

>>18330416
Life is short and preferable to death. Remember the good times and what was good about them and try to recalibrate your mind towards creating the same environment and mindset that made you once appreciate life.

If the weather is good go out for a walk and watch birds and animals or even just kids playing and be introspective, it's therapeutic.

[Anonymous No.18330718]

>>18330641
I havent written in years. I used to be decent at it, but now I can't for shit. If you have any writing exercises to reccomend please do

[Anonymous No.18330724]

>>18330700
>since my prayers don't get answered.
Something something mysterious ways something something no more than you can handle.

[Anonymous No.18330732]

>>18330718
I was goingvto suggest looking at social situations as research but if it's been years, thst may not be helpful advice.

Look up writing prompts. Then give yourself 1-2 hours to write a story to it's end. Get it all down as fast as you can.

[Anonymous No.18330737]

>>18330700
Be patient with God. Took him ten years to get back to me. And he had to take so long, otherwise it wouldn't have made sense to me

[Anonymous No.18330783]

>>18330700
God does not exist, it's a human invention. Instead of prayer you should be working towards your goals, instead of asking the invisible you should do what you can.

[Anonymous No.18330792]

>>18329483
>>18329483
Songs of self help
1:1- Within the lives the nigger, the kike and the faggot
1:2- Killeth thou shall the niggerth because he wants from thou gibs
1:3- Killeth thou shall the jew for he is subversive in the wake of life
1:4- Killeth thou shall the faggot for he does not want to work
1:5- Where thou findeth them, thou shall slay them to attain heaven
1:6- And to those that disbelieve in these words, thou shalt never be a woman and thy shall seethe forever

[Anonymous No.18330807]

>>18330696
Yeah, that’s tough stuff. Well, I’m not sure I can relate to that specifically all that much but I can tel you that as someone who had, and still has, depression and suicidal tendencies I don’t regret kicking the drugs. It was hell but it was worth it. If I ever kill myself in the future, it won’t be as a pill addict. Maybe you can feel similarly.

[Anonymous No.18330908]

>>18330700
yeah, those ongoing 5 years of neeting surely falls into his grand plan

[Anonymous No.18330914]

>>18330792
>Songs of self help
>1:2- Killeth thou shall the niggerth because he wants from thou gibs
>1:3- Killeth thou shall the jew for he is subversive in the wake of life
>1:4- Killeth thou shall the faggot for he does not want to work
>1:5- Where thou findeth them, thou shall slay them to attain heaven
>1:6- And to those that disbelieve in these words, thou shalt never be a woman and thy shall seethe forever

[improoover !ngNsqXqGP. No.18330921]

>>18330914

[Anonymous No.18330933]

>>18330921

[Anonymous No.18330950]

Why did I have to be born ugly while having such a deep love for beauty and aesthetics? What kind of cruel joke is this?

[Anonymous No.18330956]

Im still stressing over the assignment which is due tommrow. Fuuuck. I find it very hard to contentrate, and it impacts my profuctivity very hard.

[improoover !ngNsqXqGP. No.18330972]

>>18330933

[Anonymous No.18330991]

>>18330454
Some people just don't get philosophy and dismiss it out of turn. That's valid in that your life certainly won't be impacted by the loss. Philosophers themselves don't do the best job broadcasting what the value of it is, and to the uninitiated it can look like a bunch of obtuse intellectual masturbation. There is also quite a bit of garbage philosophy out there, and it's hard to tell the difference between undisciplined idle speculation and "qualified" philosophical work.

I am in the opposite camp. Like it or not you can't escape philosophy, or rather philosophical concerns infuse all aspects of life. Everyone, intentionally or not, assumes philosophy as soon as they start thinking in a systematized way. They have a set of beliefs and an argument asserting such and such is the case and philosophy is little more than the practice of logically evaluating beliefs and arguments, refuting bad ones and articulating better ones.

Chesterton said it best:

>Men have always one of two things: either a complete and conscious philosophy or the unconscious acceptance of the broken bits of some incomplete and shattered and often discredited philosophy.

>Philosophy is merely thought that has been thought out. It is often a great bore. But man has no alternative, except between being influenced by thought that has been thought out and being influenced by thought that has not been thought out.

[Anonymous No.18331000]

>>18330972

[Anonymous No.18331009]

>>18330914
you will never be a woman

[improoover !ngNsqXqGP. No.18331016]

>>18331000

[Anonymous No.18331048]

>>18331016

[Anonymous No.18331053]

>>18331009
God I was scared for a second that I could randomly turn into a women in the future. Thanks Anon for clearing this up for me.

[improoover !ngNsqXqGP. No.18331056]

>>18331048
top kek fren

[Anonymous No.18331145]

mbooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooi

[Anonymous No.18331221]

>>18330515
>>18330516
>>18330518
Thanks a lot

[Anonymous No.18331376]

didn't have ted pinned for a voicelet
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJHYApuEs5M

[Anonymous No.18331389]

>>18329483
Have acquired QT catholic Korean GF through what was technically rape. Am very happy, but I can't shake the feeling that god will punish me for this one day.

[Anonymous No.18331392]

>>18331056
Thanks for the wholesome apu

[Anonymous No.18331408]

>>18331389
What?

[Anonymous No.18331410]

i am listening to some guitar piece my father played to me often before he left. now i am a chef that lurks on this board desperately trying to gain more knowledge on philosophical books so i can be pretentious and act like i have something inside my empty brain. i'm also a tiktok influencer

[Anonymous No.18331424]

I took the wrong path and now I'm stuck in an industry I despise. I just want to work in a place that I don't fear going to everyday and socialize with my colleagues normally

[improoover !ngNsqXqGP. No.18331435]

>>18331389

[Anonymous No.18331558]

>>18329483
I am contemplating how I could trick a women into marrying me, so I can drag her out into the woods and start farming.

[Anonymous No.18331578]

Athena is not only the worst Greek deity, she's the most loathsome and villainous character in all of literature. All of that wisdom and intelligence and she's every bit as petty and cruel as Zeus or Hera, if someone with a kind heart and empathy had her powers they could've sent the whole pantheon into the bowels of hell where they belong. She cares nothing for any of the humans she interferes with.

[Anonymous No.18331587]

>>18331578
That's the whole point of every single God. They are all still flawed. Nothing but human projection.

[Anonymous No.18331591]

>>18329607
sorry for your loss my friend. if it helps, perhaps you could see the waning memories as your grandfather's essence & legacy becoming more engrained and your subsconscious and living on as a part of you in the deeper realm where you won't necessarily notice it

[Anonymous No.18331599]

>>18331587
Why worship any of them? They're all cruel tyrants who frankly deserved to have the Abrahamic God overthrow them

[Anonymous No.18331603]

>>18331408
Pretty self explanatory no?
>>18331578
Correct, this is because Athena represents mankind's capacity for reason and rational thinking. She is the most human of the gods and she is Ulysses's patron because he is the most rational of the old heroes.

[Anonymous No.18331609]

>>18331599
>They're all cruel tyrants who frankly deserved to have the Abrahamic God overthrow them
Nigger hands typed this.

[Anonymous No.18331649]

>>18331609
You know the Greeks never pulled any punches about the pettiness and cruelty of their gods

[Anonymous No.18331653]

>>18331603
>this is because Athena represents mankind's capacity for reason and rational thinking
In the context of servicing a miserable and unjust status quo sure

[Anonymous No.18331668]

>>18329483
Baby's black balloon makes her fly
I almost fell into that hole in your life
You're not thinking about tomorrow
'Cause you were the same as me
But on your knees.
A thousand other boys could never reach you
How could I have been the one?
I saw the world spin beneath you
And scatter like ice from the spoon
That was your womb.
Coming down, the world turned over
And angels fall without you there
And I go on as you get colder
Or are you someone's prayer?
You know the lies they always told you
And the love you never knew
Was it things they never showed you?
That swallowed the light from the sun
Inside your room, yeah.
Coming down, the world turned over
And Angels fall without you there
And I go on as you get colder
Always someone's prayer
And there's no time left for losing
When you stand, they fall, yeah.
Coming down, the world turned over
And angels fall without you there
And I go on as you get colder
All because I'm
Coming down, the years turned over
And Angels fall without you there
And I'll go on and I'll lead you home and
All because I'm
All because I'm
And I'll become what you became to me

[Anonymous No.18331744]

Mom wants for me to be happy but i dont feel any happiness and it makes me feel anger towards myself for inability for do so.

[Anonymous No.18331808]

University was my last chance I think, but I just gave up this semester not completing any credits whatsoever; student life has not resulted in a single friend or even a wholesome moment in the two years I've spent here. I have no idea where to go, where to turn, tried a few student activities last year but everywhere I feel really unwelcome, don't fit in with all these fake middle/upper class kids. Managed to pull myself to a bar today, second time this week, this after several weeks of chickening out and just walking past. As I anticipated it did nothing for me, just sat by myself near the entrance for 30 odd minutes with a beer, then left. Don't know how much longer I can go on, an unhappy unsatisfying life it has been, and I cannot see any future. I think of killing myself daily, just feels like the perfect way out of this hell

[Anonymous No.18331863]

>>18331808
embrace the silence of being alone, and become more comfortable with yourself before you force interactions with others.

go away from it all, and find true beauty in nature. experience with your self what life is, then expand it to encompass others. Become happier with yourself and you can then begin to be happy around others.

[Anonymous No.18332017]

>>18331808
>where I feel really unwelcome, don't fit in with all these fake middle/upper class kids.
Glad i'm not the only one

[Anonymous No.18332035]

The kind of tired sleep won't fix...

[Anonymous No.18332059]

I'm happy, yet I'm bothered that my being happy is so tied up to external things outside my control. Two months ago I felt depressed, then I started going out with this girl, and still am. I'm infatuated, and any real (or imagined) sign that things might go south throws me back where I was back in March (things were, and are, factually alright - I'm a MD doing my specialization, the future is objectively bright, though I'm not excited about it). I can't even enjoy my being impassioned because of this.

I don't even know what actual romantic love is, since I've never had a relationship last longer than these first moments. I have never felt the motions of going through the flames of love and keeping the warm embers of something longer lasting. I understand it's something real, that it exists and isn't anything extraordinary, but I fear I won't get to ever experience it.

[Anonymous No.18332079]

>>18331863
Think I've suffered too much from loneliness and from being excluded to derive any enjoyment out of being alone, just hurts more and more every year. I was diagnosed with Aspergers when I was eight and pretty soon after I was cut off from my peers, never regained any proper social life or sense of self-worth after that.

[Anonymous No.18332081]

>>18330416
If it makes you feel any better there's a parasite like you in my family. Heroin junkies really do drag everyone down, and I'm glad you have the clarity to know it. Your girlfriend is probably a dopefiend loser like you. It would be better for society if you were both euthanized, but then the insurance jews couldn't make money off of your continued misery.

[Anonymous No.18332101]

Write what's on your mind is a better QTDDTOT than /QTDDTOT/ itself.
Might as well try here
>>18329049

[Anonymous No.18332108]

Marathoning the Kirsten Dunst filmography (Melancholia --> Small Soldiers)

[Anonymous No.18332109]

women with big pale asses are my weakness

[Anonymous No.18332111]

Where do you nerds go to read Web Novels? I don’t understand how these things work.

[Anonymous No.18332130]

Should I feel bad for not reading through a lot of the Western canon. It seems almost a requirement if you want to be well-read, let alone a good writer.

[Anonymous No.18332140]

>>18332108
Good taste. I loved her in Drop Dead Gorgeous
dont look up what she looks like post wall

[Anonymous No.18332145]

>>18332130
You should worry more about why (and what it means to) you want to be "well-read", if you don't even enjoy the things it entails.

[Anonymous No.18332178]

>>18332081
Fuck you, leave him alone. He's trying to get better.

[Anonymous No.18332227]

>>18332145
You know that’s not what I meant. I like these books but there’s only so many hours in the day and not all of us were brought up steeped in classical literature. We basically have to choice between catching up on stuff that we like and which is objectively good and stuff we love but is only subjectively good.

[Anonymous No.18332252]

There are only a few things, like the new black midi album for example, that give me hope for my generation. I'm listening right now and it's fantastic especially because it knows where to pull from; it knows what to reference and what needs to be revived and reinterpreted. Most artists who try this kind of thing fail, in any art.
Things are much harder when your attention span has been shortened to shit and you're high as balls all the time. In order to create something that will last throughout the onslaught of mass culture and its proliferation into microcultures (which is a task we should recognize as necessary in the first place), there ought to be a recognition of some sort of real canon, if you will, of things that deserve to be referenced. There needs to be a Spirit, in other words, that gives people some sort of hope beyond consumer markets and AI generated scripts.

[Anonymous No.18332335]

>>18330544
I mean I never said to “just be yourself”, I said to keep moving forward. In my own example of myself, I said how I had to change to become more outgoing and open to possibilities. But if all you saw in my post was “be yourself” then I think that says more about you then it does it about me.

[Anonymous No.18332455]

>>18330700
>>18330737
pray in one hand, shit in the other, and see which one fills up first

this kind of retarded abrahamic faggotry is the reason genghis khan sacked baghdad so easily

"you ran out of arrows. why did you not smelter more?"
"it was god's will"
"you could have met me at the river and prevented me from crossing. why did you not do so?"
"it was god's will"
"then this, too, is god's will" *rolls him up in a rug and beats him to death*

[Anonymous No.18332754]

Any language learners who can help me since there’s no /lang/ thread? I’m just a few months into learning a new language and my motivation has plummeted. I’m not enjoying investing all this time everyday, I feel like I’ve made no progress, and my goals are like 10 years away. I’m thinking basically “what’s the point?” Help me figure out what am I doing wrong?

[Anonymous No.18332770]

Jesus is my strength

[Anonymous No.18332786]

>>18332754
One thing that has really helped me is having someone else over hear or see me when I’m studying the language, and their reaction to it. Like I’m personally learning Japanese and my roommate can’t believe I understand what any of the strnage symbols mean or how I can tell them apart “they all look the same!”

Sure you may feel like your accomplishing little, but take stock of how far you’ve come and how much you compare to someone who hasn’t been studying the language. Sure you may not be fluent, but you’re certainly at a level of understanding the average laymen CANT comprehend.

[Anonymous No.18332789]

It suddenly hit me today how depressed I am and hand in hand with that how lazy I am, not just with things I have to do but also with things I would otherwise do because I want to. There’s stuff I fantasize about that I could do that require a lot of work and I just never put in the work. I’m miserable and lazy. Simple as that.

[Anonymous No.18332802]

>>18332789
Perhaps the things you think are worth doing aren't really worth doing to you, but you think they are because of some reason outside of yourself, not something that's actually something worth doing to you in your actual self.

[Anonymous No.18332806]

I miss having the sense of community I had when I was a kid. Between the schoolmates, the neighbours, the friends of the family and the relatives, there was always something going on with someone else and I felt more connected to other people than I do now.

I have a few close friends but I still feel alone, I guess I prefer having many shallow relationships than a few deeper ones.

[Anonymous No.18332821]

>>18330643
Cool dream. I wish mine were that vivid. Love Jung too.

[Anonymous No.18332832]

>>18332802
I don’t do anything dude. I have a remote job for which I do the bare minimum and pretend I do a lot more. I basically feel totally defeated and like nothing in my life will get any better nor is anything really and truly worth it, so I do nothing. If I let go of those things you’re saying I only think are worth doing then I truly have nothing and I should just kill myself right now.

[Anonymous No.18332841]

>>18332832
I have the same issue and I'm pretty sure it's because of the guilt I'm feeling about a sin I committed years ago. It spoiled life for me.

[Anonymous No.18332849]

>>18332832
Maybe you don't know yourself, so that's why you don't know what's worth doing to you. You might like the idea of doing something, but that's liking the idea, not the doing something itself. Know yourself. Is there an ultimate good that you're seeking that you're not cognitive about?

[Anonymous No.18332854]

A friend asked me to do a job for him. He also asked another friend of mine for the same work (I mean two equal jobs, one for each). I said my prices were around 1200-1600, he said their budget was 500. I said that was really low and politely said I could not take it. He said our friend was ok with 650. I said well maybe because you are my friend, but talk to your colleagues to see if you can raiise it. He said alright. After a whole month I thought he just gave up.on me, now he jumps with a message saying our mutual friend gave up on the job and is trying to get me to do it for 650, "help me out here man". I regret giving a hint that I would take it for this price.

How do I say "no" to him now?

[Anonymous No.18332855]

>>18332841
Damn bro what did you do

[Anonymous No.18332897]

>>18332849
Man, fate loves irony I guess. If you had any idea what those words “you don’t know yourself mean to me”...

Anyway, you are basically encouraging me to deconstruct and toss away those things which I’ve said I would want to do, and I’ve already told you I have nothing else so the alternative is suicide. I don’t know why you want me to kill myself but you can rest assured that I don’t need any encouragement to mull it over. As for that last bit about the ultimate good, I’m sorry to say that I don’t even really know what that means.

[Anonymous No.18332899]

>>18332227
>You know that’s not what I meant.
I don't. Knowing the average poster on /lit/, you might as well have been complaining you -didn't- want to read the western canon. Fortunately, that's not the case. About what you meant, then, I'd say it's disappointing that you (or most people, for that matter, myself included) won't be able to read through the whole canon plus other works. A more positive outlook on this, though, could be "how wonderful, I'll never run out of enjoying works to read". I switch between the two positions often, myself.

[Anonymous No.18332916]

>>18332897

[Anonymous No.18332922]

>>18332754
- speak to natives as often as you can
- read books
- listen to music and watch shows/movies in that language as much as possible

worked for me and now i speak 4 fluently while learning my 5th one at the age of 20

[Anonymous No.18332923]

well, day one of writing knocked down. Got almost two pages in. They're not good, I will not have a coherent line of reasoning that runs from beginning to end. I'm just including semi-related things to prove I read the literature. It's a difficult assignment in the time given, there's a significant empirical component where I'd basically have to scour the internet for sources about a couple of parties and their language in the last 20 years. At the same time the prof says focus is not on the empirical but on how we use the literature. But I'm supposed to use the literature vis-a-vis the empirical case. I don't know anons, I'm just writing things from the literature, trying to get everything I feel fairly certain that I can say on paper, then we'll see how much time there is left to put in real work on the empirical side. It is very likely I will allude to a lot of theories that I will then not use at all. i will likely get a passing though not impressive grade. This is a good result. I prioritized reading other things too beside course-literature so it's fine. Ivan is just about to meet the devil.

[Anonymous No.18332924]

Wonderful image, OP. :)

[Anonymous No.18332933]

>>18332079
I don't know what it's like for people with aspergers. My strategy I'm gonna try this summer is I'm gonna try to get some adrenaline and testosterone in my life. I'm gonna start doing kick-boxing. I think it would do me good to feel active and capable, and I think punching a bag could do that on some primal level. Just some food for thought. I did have some adrenaline a while back and it felt like it unlocked a lot of good and forgotten parts of my personality.

[Anonymous No.18332934]

I do not care for the New Yorker articles written by women.

[Anonymous No.18332945]

>>18332916
not that anon, but good read

[Anonymous No.18332948]

read naomi as suggested and it was fantastic, any other books with long descriptions of beautiful female feet?

[Anonymous No.18332968]

>>18332916
I’m sorry but I don’t find this helpful. I reached basically this point some time ago. I feel more or less indifferent to life or death and much like this picture concludes the attitude is basically “there’s nothing to lose in living” but that’s not the full picture you know. Such an attitude doesn’t give you a reason to move your feet, or something to get out of bed for in the morning. It only gives you a reason not to take the long nap. Anyway, that’s not why I’m here. You seem to suggest that maybe I don’t actually want to do these things I think I want to do but I’m telling you firmly that there is no alternative.

[Anonymous No.18332987]

>>18329735
In what way faggot?

[Anonymous No.18332989]

>>18332934
I have started to dismiss them because the authors are more likely to insert their personal sensibilities (say social issues and view points) and tend to stay a lot less neutral. I do not know if their editorial style has changed over the past year but I encountered more and more articles of that kind.

[Anonymous No.18332992]

it's kind of funny how modern right wing populists will say that women covering their hair is not western culture/tradition

[Anonymous No.18333157]

Do you guys know about food engineering? Just now I had a small snack, and immediately after finishing it was like my brain was yelling at me to have some more. Yet this doesn't happen with all sweets, so I wondered: Was this done on purpose? There's a reason for instance Pringles are so thin, and most chips now are so airy and easy to devour quickly. Consumer research has shown that if you make your snack food easy to binge on, people will, and it's slightly more profitable. They've found ways to make it so you're not fully satisfied after eating something so you're incentivized to buy more. You may think, "Well you wanted another because it's delicious", but that's not how it feels in reality. It's more a sense of, "this tastes great but it doesn't feel substantive/like a lot, so I want more". Think airy chips. At least in America, this sort of product is way more common than it should be. The only escape is cutting out processed food altogether

[Anonymous No.18333169]

I've wanted to make a YouTube channel for an eternity and I finally uploaded my first video today. It felt like a real victory desu after playing around with the idea for about two years. Like, I'm actually happy about something for a change. The best part is that I'm making videos about a book series that I love.

[Anonymous No.18333191]

>>18329483
The birds are twittering outside my window. Why?

[Anonymous No.18333198]

>>18333157
I feel like there are snacks that are not filling at all. you eat it thinking it will stave off hunger but in reality it does nothing. how I have no idea

[Anonymous No.18333208]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vgHcRwvq1Q

[Anonymous No.18333240]

I started writing in my journal again. Going to collect my past journals and turn them into my memoir called "A NEET's Tale."

[Anonymous No.18333250]

>>18329483
I’m just doing what I’m doing, I’ve been moving lately
I’m just trying to live my life, but this shit is crazy
And everybody think I’m good and I’m fantastic
Even though I’m in the game, bitch I’m not a rapper

Can’t nobody hear my cry when I’m in the zone
Don’t nobody give a fuck, bitch I’m all alone
And the people, man they really don’t give a shit
They’ll leave you on your dick and they’ll fuck your bitch

I really feel like I might not get married
I don’t trust myself so I trust her barely
And I’m not a dog and I’m not a cheetah
But the girls is bending over screaming Lil Beezy
And they don’t tell you that they run around with diseases
Fuck the wrong one, catch AIDS, can’t believe it
Russian roulette everyone watched and cheated
Your main girl high in tax and she fucking Regis
Who wants a million? Most gold diggers do
Say one thing and think another, man they really do
Anything that help you go to hell with the parachute
They really just chirping, talking back like the parrots do
I’m really trying to spit real life like the parents do

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-IYSl4I-4I

[Anonymous No.18333288]

My life is so finite and I waste so much of my time here.

[Anonymous No.18333299]

Who I am and who I want to be are so far removed from each other than I get the sense the latter is simply not achievable and life isn’t actually worth living.

[Anonymous No.18333306]

>>18333288
>>18333299
checked

[Anonymous No.18333315]

>accidentally started thinking of HER

[Anonymous No.18333369]

>>18333198
Chips in particular are like that a lot. It's maddening

[Anonymous No.18333381]

I wish I could make money writing or drawing or doing both.

[Anonymous No.18333389]

>>18333306
Both me. Ironic...

[Anonymous No.18333417]

>>18333315
same shit happened to me a few days ago. it had been probably almost a year since the last time I had a dream with her in it. it's not even sad it's just annoying.

[Anonymous No.18333459]

>>18333169
Good for you anon!

[Anonymous No.18333493]

I genuinely love you guys, I can see the part of you that's trying to make things better despite your suffering.

[Anonymous No.18333504]

>>18333169
Link it

[Anonymous No.18333523]

>>18333417
ah well for me it's sad, she was ideal for me and my autism ruined it

[Anonymous No.18333542]

do you think lsd can make people gay?

[Anonymous No.18333553]

Migraine kept me up all night. I hate this shit, I want to sleep but it won't let me. I wake up feeling awful but its not my fault. Sucks.

[Anonymous No.18333558]

>>18333542
I doubt it can 'make' people gay but it may make you more aware of some level of latent homosexuality. >>18333169

[Anonymous No.18333586]

>>18333542
You’re probably easier to rape on lsd

[Anonymous No.18333588]

>>18333523
tell me about her, anon

[Anonymous No.18333600]

I'll commit suicide if I can't get the book published. There's no other option. I'm already old to change paths. I've dedicated my whole life to this shit and now it's been an year of rejection letters. This fucking book is the only chance I have to redeem my miserable existence.

[Anonymous No.18333627]

>>18333542
Not people. Only frogs

[Anonymous No.18333639]

>>18333600
Only a year?

[Anonymous No.18333658]

>>18329483
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfZBQh-510c

I be kush smokin' car ride
Take his bitch for a car ride
A lot of tattoos on my arms now
Bitches wanna fuck my arms now
All I rock is Louie now
Truies and some Gucci now
Getting bitches wet jacuzzi now
Say Sosa life a movie now
I smoke bomba marijuana
When I come around it's a concert
And them commas coming like karma
I could fuck her and her momma
She said she like how my car ride
Okay she like how foreign cars ride
Bitch I'm a world star now
Sosa I'm so high I see stars now

[Anonymous No.18333687]

>>18332754
What language are you learning?

[Anonymous No.18333760]

>>18333588
I've written about her here before so idk if I have it in me. Also kinda drunk rn so most of these feelings will wash away in the morning. When I say she was ideal for me I don't mean she was perfect, she had plenty of flaws and edges and issues to deal with but we connected on a deeper level than I have with anyone else. 1,5 years and I drove her away with the most retarded and pointless lies and behaviours, if I'd looked further to the future I'd have been less eager to self sabotage. But that's how all my relationships have ended up, if we didn't get bored of each other I'd be a retard and mess it up. The next girl will have to love me a lot more to be able to endure me.

[Anonymous No.18333777]

Is it the 28th where you live? If it is, it's Deathauthoranon's birthday today!
I'm turning 35!
Yay yay yay

[Anonymous No.18333785]

>close your eyes
>breathe deeply
>relax
>imagine all the times you have said "nigger" on 4chan
>at least some of those times, a tourist normalfag checking out 4chan for the first time saw your post, got offended, and left forever

[Anonymous No.18333787]

damn

[Anonymous No.18333797]

>>18331389
Cause she's 17? Nice.

[Anonymous No.18333801]

>>18333760
>Also kinda drunk rn so most of these feelings will wash away in the morning
*envy*
Not how it works for me desu

I can relate to your feels, brother. I was allein zu zweit with that harlot.

[Anonymous No.18333803]

Apu represents the inner child.

[Anonymous No.18333817]

>>18333801
>allein zu zweit
is that a reference of sorts?

[Anonymous No.18333819]

aww shit four day weekend is what it is

[Anonymous No.18333841]

>>18333817
I think it's a famous concept. Something alone the lines of "alone with another one" - "two loneliness become one", shit like that.

[Anonymous No.18333845]

Feel really weird and shit at the moment. Went on a trip and had some drinks there while also being on Zoloft and now I feel all spaced out and my anxiety has flared up a few times which isn't unusual apparently. I wish I didn't have to take bitch pills because they make my range of emotions somewhat limited, but at the same time while off them I'm prone embarrassing emotional outbursts not befitting a male and I get severe OCD breakdowns.

[Anonymous No.18333854]

>>18331389
Tell us the story please. Very curious.

[Anonymous No.18333861]

>>18333845
Whats with all the drug fags on this board

[Anonymous No.18333879]

I was on a shrooms trip yesterday and for some reason thought of all the times adults almost went crazy because breadcrumbs were falling out of my sandwich or spilling water and shit like that.

Pretty sure our obsession with cleanliness is a way for us to avoid psychosis. It's like hating blaming the fags or the jews for everything even though they should know life is more complicated than this, and breadcrumbs can be thrown in the trash and spilled water can be wiped.

[Anonymous No.18333880]

>>18331653
Those gods lived in an era where might was right and altruism was weakness. There was nothing unjust about them in that context. Yes, they were cruel, but all powers were, as to be otherwise, was to be weak. Kings represented excess, in every respect, that was how they got their respect. The gods were no different.

[Anonymous No.18333884]

>>18333879
Sounds like you raised like shit

[Anonymous No.18333905]

>>18333861
>There are few men of that peculiar sensibility which is at the root of genius, who, in early youth, have not expended much of their mental energy in living too fast; and, in later years, comes the unconquerable desire to goad the imagination up to that point which it would have attained in an ordinary, normal, or well-regulated life. The earnest longing for artificial excitement, which, unhappily, has characterized too many eminent men, may thus be regarded as a psychal want, or necessity, — an effort to regain the lost, — a struggle of the soul to assume the position which, under other circumstances, would have been its due.

[Anonymous No.18333909]

>>18332754
You'll have motivation problems until you're skilled enough to do something you enjoy with the language. I used to get bored of my TL all the time, but then I hit the point where I could go on the internet and read foreign sites in the language, or play through a game in it, and suddenly I don't have to worry about practice anymore since I do it of my own volition out of curiosity and to have fun. How long it takes you to get to this stage is tricky and depends a lot on your patience. Do you have the autism to flip back and forth from the source material to a dictionary 3+ times a sentence? If so, you can start tackling almost anything once you hit intermediate level. If not, you have a lot of studying to do. Honestly doing a pre-made flashcard deck is boring as sin to me, so I just read whatever I want in the TL and then toss the words I find in a flashcard bank. If it's a really obscure word I probably won't need again though I ignore it. Sure it's a little tedious, but it's oddly enjoyable and you can feel yourself slowly get better.

The point in the end is there's no shortcut to learning a language. No matter what, there's several thousands of words you want to memorize to read books in this language, and that kind of knowledge doesn't come for free. You have to work. So yeah it's really just one big grind, and the sooner you find a way to make it fun, the sooner motivation is no longer an issue.

[Anonymous No.18333912]

>>18333777
Happy birthday man
also checked

[Anonymous No.18334055]

>>18333912
Thank you!
I'm hoping it'll be a lucky year!

[Anonymous No.18334078]

>>18333787
XD

[Anonymous No.18334243]

The list of inadequacies about myself which I keep stored in my head seems to have no end. I sincerely despise myself for not being like that of a fictional character.

[Anonymous No.18334305]

Weightlifted twice this week and my libido has been awakened. Its been frustrating going out, having an easy time interacting with women and not having any urgency to escalate at all. I know I'll wake up and hated them in the morning but its worrisome to not feel the compulsion every so often.

[Anonymous No.18334389]

>>18334305
same but when I get a good night's sleep

[Anonymous No.18334439]

>>18334305
Its good to feel horny for real life women

[Anonymous No.18334685]

>>18332968
Why are you here then? Why post why say anything?

I’m just confused when someone in your position acts like they do but still attempts to socialize. You’ve deflected every single piece of advise, so are you just here to vent?

[Anonymous No.18334750]

It feels like there are no more big songs that everyone has heard, or movies everyone has seen. There's a ton of fragmented subcultures, but a hit in one of those rarely ripples out into others. 'Uptown Funk' or 'Happy' were songs that everyone heard and where absolutely everywhere, now the big songs are isolated in TikTok communities or amongst people who still listen to the radio.

[Anonymous No.18334753]

>someone posts a detailed and well articulated critique
>multiple reply to it
>"wow way to miss the point"
>"filtered"
>some nitpick that somehow "justifies" outright dismissing the whole post altogether
You guys suck at arguing.

[Anonymous No.18334761]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1J6TFHCevg
This video has been at the back of my head for a long time now. It locks my gaze in place like my head is in some supernatural vice, and I feel an inarticulate horror crawling over me like a cornered stray dog fearing for its life in the rain. I feel like there's something watching all of us walk in little undignified patterns and lines like ants and there's an omnipotent malice that knows deep in the most solemn confidence that all of these small specs of life in this petri dish have no value. I feel worthless, like livestock, and that there is nothing meant by the word "opportunity". I am just sentient enough to coordinate my skinny muscles and go in and out of the dusty doors of this purgatorial state of being. I can see the barren landscape of old age in front of me when I am alone. There are millions of people exactly like me and I was not born for any particular reason.

[Anonymous No.18334768]

>>18329483
Now that my cat has gone to sleep, there is absolutely nothing nonhuman, visible, and alive anywhere around me.

We are so fucking indescribably fucked, you have no idea. Welcome to Hell.

[Anonymous No.18334778]

>>18334768
Just wait until your cat wakes up nigga ahahaha

[Anonymous No.18334780]

>>18334778
Then she can once again join me in the circus of nightmares that is everyday life in modern society

[Anonymous No.18334831]

>>18334439
>>18334389
Amen bros.

[Anonymous No.18334901]

Clubhouse is honestly grating and cringe inducing when two or more intelligent people are steering a conversation in a interesting direction with full awareness of the blind spots and a fucking idiot arrives to derail and almost pull down a conversation to already trodden territory. Its abysmal. There is no way I will ever be able to shelve my emotional reaction to those who are functionally deficient. I will leave that to the rich and comfortable but for me hearing idiots derail breeds no empathy.

[Anonymous No.18334983]

Every major decision i took, ended up being wrong. I just dont care anymore.

[Anonymous No.18335000]

>>18334983
time to do a costanza

[Anonymous No.18335006]

>>18335000
that only works in tv series

[Anonymous No.18335070]

>>18334983
How so?

[Anonymous No.18335089]

>>18335070
Why expect a positive outcome when all you've done is taking the worst out of two?

[Anonymous No.18335094]

>>18329483
>It is, I think, characteristic of our psychology that we find on the threshold of the new age two figures who were destined to exert an immense influence on the hearts and minds of the younger generation: Wagner, the prophet of love, whose music runs the whole gamut of feeling from Tristan down to incestuous passion, then up again from Tristan to the sublime spirituality of Parsifal; and Nietzsche, the prophet of power and of the triumphant will for individuality. Wagner, in his last and loftiest utterance, harked back to the Grail legend, as Goethe did to Dante, but Nietzsche seized on the idea of a master caste and a master morality, an idea embodied in many a fairhaired hero and knight of the Middle Ages. Wagner broke the bonds that fettered love, Nietzsche shattered the “tables of values” that cramp individuality. Both strove after similar goals while at the same time creating irremediable discord; for where love is, power cannot prevail, and where power prevails, love cannot reign.

Choose.

[Anonymous No.18335117]

>>18334768
>We are so fucking indescribably fucked, you have no idea. Welcome to Hell.
Strange, I find myself with more hope humanity than I've had in a long time.

[Anonymous No.18335158]

What do you call the part where your penis starts? It fucking aches sometimes.

[Anonymous No.18335228]

I just remembered once seeing a dead white cat on the sidewalk as I was walking home from school when I was like 5-8. I don't why the fuck this memory just returned. It was eerie, too. It had no visible wounds, but its mouth was agape and its light blue eyes were wide open. Really thick dark blood was coming out of its head and formed a lustrous pool around it. It was kind of aesthetic in a really morbid fucking way. It sends chills down my spine thinking about it now. God damn it man, why the fuck did this memory return.

[Anonymous No.18335391]

I'm hoping for the apocalypse/ doomsday/ world war in the next 5-6 years. can't take it anymore

[Anonymous No.18335410]

Idiocracy stumbles upon the answer to the fermi paradox

[Anonymous No.18335432]

>>18335094
>pompous self-aggrandizing "composer" with the virtuosity of a Star Wars movie composer vs Crybaby manchild that academics refuse to shut the fuck up about to this day
Neither.

[Anonymous No.18335464]

>>18335410
Maybe we're truly alone in the universe

[Anonymous No.18335511]

>>18335391
Same, to a point. I feel like I can still take it for a while longer. Got a loving partner, an adorable pet, several houseplants. Living a life, if not THE life. Capitalism is a day-to-day Hell nightmare. Doesn't seem like a revolution is gonna break out anytime soon, though, and I don't think it'd be safe for me to keep a gun around the house with my current mental health anyway.

I dunno. Maybe the people will soon wake up to how deeply we've been getting fucked every day for the last 12,000 years. But probably not.

[Anonymous No.18335568]

>>18331558
Kill yourself vtuber incel.

[Anonymous No.18335661]

>>18333797
>>18333854

Coworker who I knew for two months. Friends, but purely platonic. Went to party at bosses place and she drank way too much, I was somewhat drunk as well. I volunteered to take her back to her dorm across the city. When we got there she wouldn't stop crying, so I hugged her because I really don't like women crying. Eventually she stopped crying and we started kissing. Took her back to my apartment and slept with her. No actual sex, but we were completely naked by the next morning. She started crying again and I ate her out/fingered her until she came and stopped crying. Basically just cuddled naked until the afternoon when I took her to the metro. It's been two weeks of this now and she's moving in with me this weekend so she doesn't have to leave the country.

She's incredibly innocent, and I feel like I'm a bad moral influence here. I can't marry her because I don't think I can leave my family and live in Korea. Another woman would hold it against me at the end of the relationship, but she wont because she's too good for me.

Also part of what makes her so incredibly attractive is that she's both incredibly nationalistic/patriotic and left wing in that way which doesn't really exist in the US. She's really not into white guys at all, basically all the men she considers attractive are Koreans. I really hate the sort of Asian-American who denigrates her own culture/family. She literally has no interest in Americans or ever visiting the States. I'm the only exception.

This is probably the first time I've been in love since high school, but she's leaving at the end of next month.

[Anonymous No.18335718]

Just got two anonymous love letters talking about how I'm attractive in an ugly sort of way and that it's sexy when I do curls at uni gym
I'm gonna make it lads

[Anonymous No.18336030]

Can't wait to be eating hotpot again once this lockdown is over

[Anonymous No.18336038]

I have decided to die next Monday. Why Monday, you might ask? Mondays are loathed by most people, and I will feel even more compelled to purposefully wake up earlier than usual and treat the whole ordeal as sleeping in, as cathartic as a day off. Arrangements are already in place: money scheduled to be transferred to relevant family members, copious amount of alcohol and a standard rope from the nearest hardware store. I have a small utility bathroom to perform the deed, where said rope can be tied to the door handle from the outside to partially support my weight aided by the door frame. Wikipedia articles state that if fastened correctly, a hangman's noose can render you unconscious in about 13 seconds if the carotid artery is compressed. I wish I could fall asleep that quickly.

[Anonymous No.18336045]

Do life changing books exist?
>inb4 Holy Bible

[Anonymous No.18336057]

>>18332922
>speak to natives as often as you can
ubi possum indiginos latinam loquentes invenire?
non etiam illud, sed aliquod facilius rogo: ubi possim invenire aliquos latinam loquentes qui non corpulentae yaois fanaticae sunt?

[Anonymous No.18336065]

>>18336038
Whats the reason behind suicide?

[Anonymous No.18336073]

>>18329607
Who was his favourite author? Sounds like a great man.

[Anonymous No.18336074]

>>18330991
very good quote. I need to read some Chesterton already. anyone got recs for good works of his to start with?

[Anonymous No.18336078]

>>18329802
Mental illness my friend. Break up with her before it's too late. There's no point dating a woman who's emotions are as volatile as the crypto market

[Anonymous No.18336079]

>>18336065
For me personally it's not related to sadness, loneliness or anger like most would think. Life overwhelms me and I constantly feel afraid. Long story short: I am a pussy and there's no amount of therapy or medication can cure weakness and cowardice.

[Anonymous No.18336129]

useless medicines; severe back pain all day

[Anonymous No.18336141]

>>18336038
>money scheduled to be transferred to relevant family members
keke I hope they return it when you fail

[Anonymous No.18336201]

browsing on mobile is fucking horrible, you write a longass post and something glitches or you misclick somewhere on the scuffed abomination that is the touchscreen and there, it's all gone

[Anonymous No.18336243]

>>18336079
I feel the very same but im too much of a coward to kill myself. I guess that makes you quite brave.

[Anonymous No.18336335]

>>18332916
That's very cute, but for me, the whole premise shits itself about halfway through.
Reason being, the Mystery of Death. I cannot entertain suicide seriously because of my belief that there is far, far less reason to assume anything concrete about the nature of Death - whether there is or isn't an afterlife, or whether you cease to exist, if it's eternal sleep and oblivion, or a different world, or a metamorphosis of consciousness, or something else entirely - than there is to accept the premise dealt with early in the text. Death may not be an exit. There may be no exit at all. For all you know, it gets worse after. Death seems a guarantee anyway, sure, but being your own executioner may not be the wisest option. The rational option seems to be to stick with it. Not that the state of mind one is in shortly before actually going through with it is rational, I think it's a powerful altered state. It must be, because it goes directly against all natural instinct. But that's a different topic.
Why do I say all that? Because a feeling of despair and hopelessness is not unfamiliar to me. But I'm unwilling to let despair of life override the fear of Death. Death is the Great Unknown. Casting yourself headfirst into it when you know literally nothing at all about what "it" is (and to think otherwise is just blind faith or self delusion) does not appeal to me personally. I find it perplexing, actually, that there seem to be so few people who embrace it as the Mystery it is without forcing a belief on themselves about the most Unknown thing there is. By so few, I actually mean I don't know anyone else, but then again, an in depth discussion about death isn't something I commonly engage in.
All of the above, of course, is just a rationalization of an instinctive fear of Death, but I think it cannot be worth abandoning it for despair, as I explained. But what do I know.

[Anonymous No.18336346]

>>18336243
I am only going through with it because I am aware that it will take half a minute at the most before I pass out. I'll probably put a song on and I'll know that before it ends I'll be gone.

[Anonymous No.18336354]

>>18336141
Nah, I don't think I will fail. Death by hanging is straightforward enough, anyone can pull it off.

[Anonymous No.18336356]

>>18336045
Kind of a silly question, don't you think? Many people will claim their lives have been greatly altered by a book, including the one you mentioned of course, so the answer is obviously yes, but no one can predict what will or won't have an effect on you.

[Anonymous No.18336361]

>>18336079
You are terribly wrong, anon. If you have the courage to take your life, why would you not have the courage to change your life? Saint Thomas recognizes that one can become courageous through practice. When you repeatedly exposure yourself through dangerous situations, and you have the opportunity and motivation to rise above, you become courageous. Soldiers and sailors go through training exercises and through repeated exercises they become habituated to jumping out of air planes or rushing toward people who want to fight them. By repeated practice, human beings can acquire the disposition to rise above fear and do the right thing, but this way of learning courage is long, slow and difficult. And that's where therapy comes in. Exposure therapy does exactly what I just wrote.

[Anonymous No.18336378]

>>18336356
Yeah, i guess it does sound like a stupid question. I'm just getting desperate for a guaranteed life fix and as soon as possible.

[Anonymous No.18336379]

>>18332933
I'm a jacked autist, former competitive powerlifter, so already been down that road and saw little improvement on my situation, hence why I'm so blackpilled. It'll probably improve your situation though if you're deprived of physical strain, the times I neglect the gym and proper dieting is when I feel the lowest and neuroticism takes over.

[Anonymous No.18336413]

>>18336361
The thing is, I am scared of people more than anything and how someone can quite easily fuck up your life. I have been through my fair share of shit in life and it didn't make me stronger, quite the contrary.

For instance, I have achieved things I never thought I would be capable of (wife, a mistress, a job that is quite decent and stressless). In contrast, I was raised in a shithole country and the worst possible environment, managed to move to the US eventually.

In reality, I don't think there's another way out for me, I have checked every item off a list I had in my mind for life achievements and it brought me no satisfaction. I have to go.

[Anonymous No.18336429]

a girl spontaneously stuck a finger up my ass when we were fooling around and it's making me question everything

[Anonymous No.18336439]

>>18333861
Psychedelics aren't "drugs". What I mean by that is, it's unfair and misleading to categorize themselves under the same umbrella term that has heroin under it. Not only are they not physically harmful, some of them are impossible to OD on if you tried, and not only do these substances not cause any addiction, they have proven to be powerful and effective aids in getting rid of various kinds of addictions and mental issues. Most of them aren't "fun" either, although they can be used that way in light baby doses. They are more likely to be serious, terrifying and perspective changing experiences that no one is in any hurry to repeat. Some people who might claim a substance like DMT as their favorite "drug", will also say that the last time they took it was many years ago and they've only taken it like twice ever. Does that really sound like it belongs in the "Le degenerate druggie" category? Alcohol, on the other hand..

[Anonymous No.18336455]

>>18336439
dunno if that post chain was ideal for that reply, but that's what's on my mind anyway regarding psychs being undiscerningly referred to as drugs

[Anonymous No.18336463]

>>18336413
What do you think about the longish post a little above, on the uncertainty of death?

[Anonymous No.18336509]

>>18336463
I don't really mind. Whatever it is, I'll take it because there's no hope with my current or future mindset.

[Anonymous No.18336548]

>>18336413
That is because you put your happiness in ephemeral things. Aristotle said that the happiness of the wise man lies in the contemplation of the truth, and it was with this principle that many Church Fathers stripped themselves of material goods and went to live a spiritual life.

[Anonymous No.18336723]

>>18336548
Perhaps, but from my perspective I was just pragmatic. I was born with no money, family and in a country where safety is virtually non-existent. It took me 26 years to solve all those issues and I am, overall, "well-off". Like I mentioned before all those issues cemented this list of objectives that I thought I had to achieve in order to be fulfilled. I was wrong, and personally I don't think reading any books or achieving anything else will mitigate the fear and paranoia that drives me.

[Anonymous No.18336762]

>>18336509
Fascinating.

[Anonymous No.18336785]

>>18336354
almost half fail

[Anonymous No.18336809]

Yesterday I had a walk through the park and I saw a group of four kids about 12-13, two boys (who looked like kids) and two girls (already dressed like they were 16 or 20 or 25). One boy was riding a bike, and one of the girls touched his ass with both hands one first time, and with only one a second time.

-Stop touching my ass!
-But it's soft

I felt so envious. When I was that age, no girl has ever touched me.

[Anonymous No.18336869]

>>18329521
Who cares? When was the last time you looked up an author's previous works in order to decide if you'll give a piece a chance? If recently or ever, you're a faggot.

So many pussies worry over making money with their art and never make any, if you have fun with writing, you're doing better than the vast majority of those pussies.

[Anonymous No.18336887]

>>18329607
Your grandfather was based, write down as much as you can remember to preserve what little you have left. It sounds like he believed in you, you should believe in yourself.

[Anonymous No.18336944]

>>18329614
You should write more horror stories like this. I need to call my mum and remind her how much I love her now.

[Anonymous No.18336952]

>>18336869
>When was the last time you looked up an author's previous works in order to decide if you'll give a piece a chance?
?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

[Anonymous No.18336955]

>>18329667
Define your priorities and write "S.M.A.R.T. goals" and hold yourself accountable, I guess.

To be fair I'm still doing the same shit too.

[Anonymous No.18336993]

The virgin Industrial Society and its Future vs the chad Cavalcare la Fucking Tigre

[Anonymous No.18337007]

>>18329483
I feel like some conservative oxbridge students who run an online lit mag are going to save literature more than this board.

[Anonymous No.18337107]

>>18330526
>I don’t know. That just seems like a lot and not what I want to do. I want to write. I don’t want to make films. If I ever make films I want to be as a writer, not a filmmaker. It just doesn’t appeal to me and I don’t think I have the personality for it anyway. That’s someone else’s game.

Different guy, but it sounds to me like you're avoiding something that you know you're a novice in. If you're too busy doing something else then fair enough, however if you're doing nothing for your creative pursuits except feeling anxiety over what genre you want to enter as a writer, there's no reason not to push the boundaries of your comfort zone.

Also the way you immediately dismissed Youtube as:

>Feeling so amateur to me

Immediately followed by:

>I don't have the sort of personality necessary to be a Youtube personality and a writer that people want to read

It sounds like you have the usual creative anxiety about not doing as good of a job of something as you feel you can. Not necessarily a fear of letting other people down, because who cares if your work garners little interest? What really matters is failing your own expectations and that takes staring humility in the face and dropping shit like you don't give a fuck.

I'm definitely projecting, as a lot of what you're saying relates to how how I view myself the excuses I use.

Still though, it takes one to know one.

[Anonymous No.18337111]

>>18330231
You idiot, I hope you learn from this mistake.

[Anonymous No.18337119]

>>18337007
Lol
https://www.cuca.org.uk/articles

[Anonymous No.18337127]

>>18336952
Please refer to " If recently or ever, you're a faggot."

[Anonymous No.18337128]

>>18330231
>giving her the b-ok.cc link instead of downloading it and sending the book the her so she has to come back to you to ask for more books
You already fucked up here so not surprised you continued fucking up

[Anonymous No.18337178]

>>18330231
I sent a book she couldn't find to a girl, asked her to let me know if it works (I had to crack the DRM btw), she didn't even say thanks :(

Nice brunette, green eyes and big tits with the cutest smile btw

[Anonymous No.18337222]

>>18336809
Iktfb. I was completely invisible to girls too.

[Anonymous No.18337238]

>live in eastern europe
>get some shitty ad about how women can do anything men can and i that i shouldn't judge people based on gender
Oh no, it's spreading...

[Anonymous No.18337275]

If I took that envelope off, would you die?

[Anonymous No.18337293]

>>18329483
test

[Anonymous No.18337325]

me every election cycle

[Anonymous No.18337518]

>>18336439
Based

[Anonymous No.18337532]

>>18337275
it would be extremely computer

[Anonymous No.18337557]

>be animechad
>watch anime that is very highly rated
>it's trash
>every single relevant youtube video about it is calling it a masterpiece
>realize I can't trust any of them anymore
>realize trash can make it to the top as long as you shove in enough contrivances and themes

I've stopped watching new anime and I even feel down about writing. Yes I know it's petty and I should just ignore it, but I can't stop thinking about it.

[Anonymous No.18337577]

is it cringe if I buy a girl's used panties?

[Anonymous No.18337617]

>>18337577
calling that cringe would be an understatement

[Anonymous No.18337641]

>>18336439
Its a drug you retard

[Anonymous No.18337681]

>>18337275
>beginning sentences with and
Disgusting

[Anonymous No.18337695]

>>18337681
That's actually grammatically and stylistically normal. But the text is a paraphrase of a lecture he gave:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_RUgnC1lm8

[Anonymous No.18337713]

Will I ever find true love?

[Anonymous No.18337714]

>>18337681
how's highschool anon?

[Anonymous No.18337838]

>>18337681
Are you retarded?

[Anonymous No.18337846]

>>18337713
Define true love.

[Anonymous No.18337905]

>>18337641
duly noted, you raging fucking homo

[Anonymous No.18337968]

>>18337617
what if it's an escort and I pay her extra to leave a pair behind?

[Anonymous No.18337983]

>>18337968
Aren't there used panties in Japanese vending machines? Not sure why you'd go to the trouble of getting an escort, who you are actually only paying for their time (they can choose to not have sex on a whim or if you seem unhealthy)

[Anonymous No.18338017]

>>18329483
I want to cuddle a twink.

[Anonymous No.18338053]

>>18335661
Does she feel good with you? If so everything is alright

[Anonymous No.18338169]

>>18337577
I stole them

Once I tried to buy them, the girl never sent me the thing.

[Anonymous No.18338174]

>>18336439
You have a very narrow understanding of what a drug is. Sad, many such cases

Have a nice weekend

[Anonymous No.18338179]

>>18335661
God, I wish that was me, but I also don't.

[Anonymous No.18338197]

>>18329483
What will I regret more: not going out clubbing everyday and shagging or not reading everything I've set out to read? I know I'll be busy for the next ten years so I won't have much time to read.

[Anonymous No.18338198]

>>18337968
The way you get them is not the cringe part. It's the fact that you want anything to do with them.

[Anonymous No.18338205]

>>18338174
Psychedelics are drugs yes. But this term is so broad it is retarded to use it desu.

[Anonymous No.18338209]

>>18329802
elaborate ??

[Anonymous No.18338211]

>>18338197
One day you'll be too old for clubbing and shagging

[Anonymous No.18338223]

>>18338205
>words can have more than one meaning!
Whoa...

[Anonymous No.18338235]

>>18337983
No that's a myth, they sell clean underwear. I already fuck escorts on the regular.
>>18338198
the idea tittilates me

[Anonymous No.18338244]

>>18338235
>o that's a myth, they sell clean underwear
My understanding was that fat fuckers would rub their sweat with them and sell it as "woman scent"

[Anonymous No.18338246]

>>18338235
>I already fuck escorts on the regular
>the idea tittilates me
I'm intrigued

[Anonymous No.18338247]

>>18338243
>>18338243
>>18338243
>>18338243