Write What’s On Your Mind

[Anonymous No.18507843]

Nothing special edition.

Previous thread: >>18497297

[Anonymous No.18507863]

>>18507843
I have wine to drink but I’m too tired to get up. I feel like eating but I’m not even hungry.

[Anonymous No.18507916]

Whenever I start trying to get my life together--cutting down drinking, eating healthily, cleaning my apartment--my drive to read and write plummets immediately. Then when I finally get the urge to write again, I do so, but then also immediately start drinking after, which leads to all the other things coming back.

[Anonymous No.18507961]

I'll spend two months this summer in a fairly large central European city (1million+ population) where I don't know anyone but speak the local language. What do I do so I won't be lonely as hell?

[Anonymous No.18507976]

Before enlightenment, carry water and chop wood.
After enlightenment, carry water and chop wood.

[Anonymous No.18508053]

>>18507976
Based

[Anonymous No.18508082]

>>18507863
Get some sleep bro

[Anonymous No.18508128]

>>18507843
Women are never worth it.

[Anonymous No.18508141]

>>18508128
Worth what?

[Anonymous No.18508156]

>>18508141
Never worth not to get replaced buy an incubator.

[Anonymous No.18508159]

>>18508141
Acknowledging

[Anonymous No.18508161]

>>18508156
What

[Anonymous No.18508168]

>>18507961
meet people

[Anonymous No.18508169]

>>18508161
Never worth, not to get, replaced by an incubator.

[Anonymous No.18508177]

>>18508169
This is just as incoherent as the first time

[Anonymous No.18508185]

>>18508177
I wrote 4 books in German one of them has ova 800 pages you don't tell me what's incoherent retard.
Is your fail that i need a drink now!

[Anonymous No.18508189]

>>18508185
Don't care

[Anonymous No.18508213]

>>18507843
I have no friends....

[Anonymous No.18508280]

>>18508189
Self righteous people never care unless its to late.

[Anonymous No.18508298]

>>18508280
You're the self-righteous one here bro

[Anonymous No.18508311]

>>18508298
Ask and you receive.

[Anonymous No.18508418]

>>18507961
Sit in coffee shops and read, go to amateur theatre stuff like improv shows and stand up comedy, volunteer at festivals/municipal events.

[Anonymous No.18508426]

I need to get new friends
I need to find a job

[Anonymous No.18508432]

I always have such a hard time waking up in the morning and a fairly easy time getting to sleep. Drinking reverses this: I stay up later but have an easier time waking up.

[Anonymous No.18508464]

>>18507976
Thanks for the ideas.
>>18508168
Yeah, but how? This will be the first time I'm in this situation, where I'll have no social circle to start off from.

[Anonymous No.18508510]

Have to get a new computer, shopping is painful.

[Anonymous No.18508526]

>writes half a dozen novels about love, flirtation, and marriage
>never gets married
>dies a 40 year old cat lady spinster
was she a femcel?

[Anonymous No.18508539]

>>18507843
i'm no longer human
or maybe i'm finally human

[Anonymous No.18508689]

>>18507843
I'm not a skilled writer in the least. Too much drift in ideas, can't keep a single thread.
https://pastebin.com/J9YKdd2x

[Anonymous No.18508707]

>>18507843
What are some good writers that hated women and saw them for what they really are?

[Anonymous No.18508712]

>>18508689
In my youth i thought faster as i wrote. Now i write so fast that i cant fill it with creativity anymore.

[Anonymous No.18508725]

>>18507843
Just had a really creative and kind of original idea.

[Anonymous No.18508730]

>>18508707
None. Anyone who understands women can't genuinely hate them. It would be like hating a tiger for having stripes. Just accept that women are egocentric, materialistic, superficial whores and enjoy fucking them.

[Anonymous No.18508740]

>>18508730
>egocentric, materialistic, superficial
This is also true of internet misogynists

[Anonymous No.18508879]

Lately everything I write has been motivated by horniness.
As it turns out I like writing about guro when I'm horny even though I don't have a guro fetish. I wonder why.

[Anonymous No.18509494]

Tell me /lit/, is it a good idea to take a job as a person who assists mentally ill people living at home when you are a bit schizotypical / socially avoidant yourself? I seem to be fit for the job yet it feels weird.

[Anonymous No.18509559]

>>18507843
Place needs a good sweeping and he should get some laces for them boots!

[Anonymous No.18509579]

The ineffable wants to eat me. Is this thing alive? Wtf is going on

[Anonymous No.18509607]

>>18508128
Life is never worth it. Name one thing we do which isn’t beneficial for just the sustaining of families which will all die out eventually.

Desire -> Outcome (rest) Desire -> Outcome

Change the causation of the outcome. Have terrible desires, expect life to be extremely awful from early am to 11pm

[Anonymous No.18509611]

>>18508730
>>18508707
>Women are mean and bad and cruel and bitches and suck and I hate them!
>niggers, jews, trannies and niggers jews and jew trannies and nigger trannies too!

Every day, the whole fucking day long, ad infinitum, in every fucking board.

[Anonymous No.18509617]

>>18508740
Correct. Women are selective … the ones who hate them were not accepted into the club.

[Anonymous No.18509630]

Should I learn German or Russian?

[Anonymous No.18509633]

I scored a date this coming Friday with a girl of darker skin, and I find myself inordinately troubled by the thought of her being either more Hispanic or more African/Black. I can't quite tell from her photos. Her features are not typically Black, her bone structure is more European/Hispanic than Black. But her skin is very dark.

In particular I find myself inordinately worried that her long hair isn't real, but a wig. I don't know why this is causing me to obsess, but it is. It looks pretty real, but I know wigs can look very convincing. There's something unnerving to me about dating a girl who wears fake hair all the time, and I'm not sure why.

I suppose maybe she's Afro-Caribbean? They tend to have this mix of features, right?

[Anonymous No.18509644]

>>18509633

[Anonymous No.18509665]

>>18509633
Learning that all black woman hair I see every day is just a wig changed my life. It was like when I learned that some women don't just have darker eyes but that is actually "eyeshadow." And they don't just have long eyelashes, those are fake.

The more I learn about women the less I understand them. As a man I was not equipped innately to comprehend the possibility that women would all walk around wearing fake hair shipped overseas from a chinaman. I can't imagine that. Learning this piece of information pierced my reality and reshaped it. I feel like I'm going to find out next that all women have prosthetic limbs.

Did you know it's now very normal for women to get "mild" plastic surgery and regular injections? The injections are a few hundred dollars. That's why they all look the same now. Normal high school girls and basic bitches who work in offices are getting lip injections and so forth. It's very frightening. I pray for a redeemer.

[Anonymous No.18509752]

>>18509665
>Did you know it's now very normal for women to get "mild" plastic surgery and regular injections?
No it isn't

[Anonymous No.18509835]

My ex and I broke up about half a year ago because we could no longer do Long Distance.
She's visiting her friend in my area now and wants to hang out tomorrow, likely for sex. She was my first long-term girlfriend so I have no idea how that kind of sex will go (maybe she'll say she's now willing to move back here and wants to start over but I'm not holding my breath).
Sex will be fun though hopefully

[Anonymous No.18509862]

I hate my monotonous life, I'm wasting all my time in worthless pursuits. I wish I had the courage to do something brave. Get far from home, explore new places and make friends along the way. That is: a life that, looking in hindsight, would make me smile. A life worth living, that's all I want.

[Anonymous No.18509891]

>>18509862
You and me both, brother. The question is do we have the courage? Or will we wither in passivity like so many others?

[Anonymous No.18509901]

I have love on the mind :3

https://voca.ro/11gqykXWUKhY

[Anonymous No.18510019]

>>18508740
I'm not a misogynist. Misogynists hate women and I don't hate women. You need better reading comprehension. Try signing up for a 3rd grade literature class. "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" will give you what you need.
>>18509611
Shut up roastie. I'll rape you into submission if you don't gtfo this board.

[Anonymous No.18510045]

>>18508185
He’s right, shit makes no sense.

[Anonymous No.18510049]

>>18508464
>Yeah, but how?
Just say whatever is on your mind to any people your age you come across. Let them know your situation and they'll probably be willing to socialize

[Anonymous No.18510056]

>>18509835
Nigger, don’t this this. It will fuck with your brain, as she’s got your dick in a choke hold.

[Anonymous No.18510066]

>>18508185
>>18508169
>>18508156
you okay anon?

[Anonymous No.18510069]

>>18507961
Your age?

[Anonymous No.18510087]

>>18508539
There's a sign in the rain
Every now and again
It is a symbol of hope
In the midst of a catastrophic episode

In the hour of death
There's a spiritual wealth
When we dance through the rain
And form the signs once again
If even for a second

I hear a voice on the air
It has a warning to share
"Don't believe what you see"
"You can't perceive what you feel"

But if I do what I'm told
And shun the spirit I hold
I'm no longer a human
And I will not shift with the sands

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98wXIjkO4i0

[Anonymous No.18510093]

>>18509494
>Tell me /lit/, is it a good idea to take a job as a person who assists mentally ill people living at home when you are a bit schizotypical / socially avoidant yourself? I seem to be fit for the job yet it feels weird.
I read a novel where at a certain point a psychiatrist working in a mental asylum calmly decided to just wear the patients' dress and lived as an insane for the rest of his life.

[Anonymous No.18510144]

Either a piece is missing or I'm being misled

I am a man of obsessive passions, but I have not felt passion in a very long time. I've done everything in my power to get it back, knowing that a life without these obsessions is worse than death, but neither medications nor therapy nor the internet have helped in any way and I no longer believe I have no control over my circumstances.

Everyone I've asked said the same thing: It's unhealthy to want to be obsessed and I shouldn't be trying. I think these people can go fuck and kill themselves in that order, but a part of me realizes that if I accept that I no longer have the power to solve my crisis, my only hope is that I'm wrong and they're right. In order to do that I need to figure out what I really need out of life, and I don't know how to find it. I can't find a deeper motivation or missing connection.

[Anonymous No.18510153]

>>18509665
>>18509752
I know a girl (Slavic) who has lips so thick you would think they're fake, but they're in fact natural.

[Anonymous No.18510157]

>>18510153
Forgot to add

Pic: not her

[Anonymous No.18510162]

started thinking about my ex for a second there and now I feel incredibly anxious and jittery wtf

[Anonymous No.18510163]

>>18510144
What were your obsessive passions?

[Anonymous No.18510194]

>>18510163
They've varied over the years and I've bounced between over a dozen, only one of which has ever truly come back. The ones I'm most hung up on are cooking and writing because they were my dominant passions during the highest points of my life and they were also productive.

For the past 2-3 years my obsession has been DnD, but I don't like that it's my current hyperfixation and my interest is waning

[Anonymous No.18510203]

>>18510162
>he doesn't exist already in a state near panic constantly
Gotta stay vigilant anon. Look behind you on the street every 10 steps

[Anonymous No.18510268]

My entire hard drive was filled with 900GB of recoverable projects on Audacity and it took me months to figure that out.

[Anonymous No.18510297]

>>18507843
For years now I’ve fantasized or daydreamed about suicide but never took it very seriously. Mostly out of cowardice and a fool’s hope things will get better. Recently though I’ve started to find the idea more palatable. Is that how it happens /lit/? It’s on your mind for years until finally your mind gives up and stops pushing the thought away.

[Anonymous No.18510453]

If ir weren't for my desire for (you)'s I'd have left this place ages ago. Last year I feel like I was so close to making it so close to finally leaving this goodness forsaken place and I find myself here again. Over and over. Ad nauseum. It wouldn't be half as bad if I felt that I was getting anything of substance here, not just /lit/ but 4channel.org as a whole. But no. I just wake up, go to my retarded job that I only do to pay for school and shitpost in bait islam threads for hours on end.
I keep telling myself that today will be the day. After work/class I'm going to get up, put on my running shoes, and go outside for a hike.
I live in such a beautiful part of the world that you'd think that I'd have even an ounce of desire to do such a thing. I could go /out/ for 5 minutes and see a beautiful waterfall, or the top of a cliff and overlook my beautifu town, but no. In the last half hour, or even 15 minutes of my work on the farm my mindset goes from,
>hey, today is a new day
to >fuck, guess I'll just sit down and shitpost on 4chan again tonight.

What the fuck am I doing with my life, man. I'm only in this stupid situation to pay for my university and hopefully build a better life for my parents and family, but if I can't even sit down and read one of my many boods that Ive recieved over the years from family memvers, then what is the jive with trying to do a double major?
I'm just so tired anons. Tired of this place, and the addictions thatit feeds.
everytime I get a (you) I'm reminded of the times that I successfully baited anons into thinking I really was interested in women's studies. Or when I got those sick digits in that one /sig/ thread on /fit/
I've wanted to read The Desert Fathers, and Path to Salvation, Ive wanted to read the Illiad, the Odyssey, my various books on computer science and maths, that book of poetry I got from a good friend who thought I'd like it, starting strength, the various farming manuals I have for growing veggies, and the places to go hiking, and how to play the trumpet better, and how to make a neural network that sounds like me or one of my many self help books and the list goes on and on and on and on.
I have friends. i have people in my church who care for me and friends that are out improving themselves (one of which I'm actually helping keep on track) and my family who supports me in this thick and thin, but it always seems for naught. They're all normalfags and dont give the bantz or deep and meaningful convos that you can get here.
All this place does is feed my porn addiction, and my general narcissism and superiority complex (despite me doing fuck all with my actual life)
I just wanna talk. I just wanna write with people who understand me. I just want to be normal. Why did I have to find this place, and why did my autism bring me back.
I'm not suicidal but if I could just move away and start fresh in some other corner of the globe I would in an instant.
I wish blogposting wasn't so cringe.

[Anonymous No.18510467]

should i read Bronze Age Mindset or Gothic Violence?

[Anonymous No.18510490]

>>18510162
Every time I think of that fool it upsets me. Some people are allowed to get through life without a shred of integrity or accountability.

[Anonymous No.18510496]

>>18510453
Too long but here's your (you)

[Anonymous No.18510502]

>>18510153
I had an Asian ex with lips like those and kissing them was really something else. Not something you really think about until you have something to compare it to. So soft.

[Anonymous No.18510528]

>>18510453
>having a desire for (You)'s

This level of isolation, and craving for attention, this is the most desperate level

[Anonymous No.18510529]

>>18510144
what am I seeking if not the happiness and excitement of a great idea? What does my normal existence lack that this state has?

the obvious answer is pride, but do I not have that? I already think I'm smarter than almost everyone else around me. My fear is that I'm getting dumber, that I'm diminishing in some way and that I'm worse than other people. Having ideas I can take pride in contradicts this. Is this the core of my unhappiness then?

This doesn't feel like the answer. Shouldn't it be something I don't already understand about myself?

[Anonymous No.18510538]

>>18510467
Of course, who doesn't love reading basically teenager philistines with an extremely reductionist, surface level, one-dimensional and misguided understanding of politics they absorbed from the regurgitated platitudes provided by other people on the internet, on topics that neither themselves nor the people feeding them their platitudes truly understand, like the blind leading the blind astray into completely ineffective political obsession.

[[daily random lyrics] No.18510551]

Well anyway that never happened
Because, one day...
Religion came to stay
Oh yeah, religion come to stay

[Anonymous No.18510557]

>>18510045
I didn't give 5 hours a fuck, neither will i after this post.

[Anonymous No.18510578]

I've kissed a girl exactly once. She was kind of grossed out afterwards. I've never held hands or anything like that.
Now that I think about it, the way my life is going, I'll probably never do anything of the sort in the future. I guess it doesn't worry me that much since the writing has been on the wall for a while, but it's weird to think that most people have these experiences that seem perfectly normal and natural that I probably won't ever have.
Oh well. I guess it's not worth thinking about too deeply.

[Anonymous No.18510695]

>>18507843
Cults are generally looked down upon. People usually say it's because it deprives others of free will. But really, most people don't exercise their free will in society, they effectively act as adherents to a very large cult of normality. So if you get somebody to join a cult, take their money and erode their free will, but give them an otherwise fulfilling existence (which, admittedly, most cults don't do), is it really morally wrong?

[Anonymous No.18510702]

>>18510695
No it's not but cults tend to be harmful. A healthy cult just becomes a religion but they are very rare

[Anonymous No.18510729]

A date came over to my house. I have stacks of books everywhere. He didn't inspect a single title. What kind of mind does this?

[Anonymous No.18510737]

I suspect my father gets along so well with our neighbor because they both have fuck-up children

[Anonymous No.18510796]

Digging my tentacles into a friend group so I can acquire this cute high-IQ extremely online Asian GF. Hopefully at the next gathering she is without boyfriend (I recall he was going to France this summer for quite some time). I'm fairly certain she dislikes me (outrightly) for my occasional vulgarity but I'm still hopeful nonethelss since its better than a neutral response. I can't mess this one up anons and if it goes poorly: amor fati and fuck you God for waving the carrot and plunging me into insane daydreams.

[Anonymous No.18510806]

>>18509665
>I feel like I'm going to find out next that all women have prosthetic limbs.
>He knows about the detachable tails
Cover's blown ladies, don't let him find out about the glowballs

[Anonymous No.18510808]

>>18510796
I can already tell from the way you're describing the situation that you're going to fuck it up.

[Anonymous No.18510819]

>>18510808
You never know. Women are insane and don't know what's good for them. She may stupid enough that'll work.

[Anonymous No.18510859]

>>18510808
I omitted some details that put me in marginally better position than the I describe but if you're sensing the autism, your absolutely right.

[Anonymous No.18510878]

>>18510859
I am sensing the autism, anon. Go for it if you want, but you're probably barking up the wrong tree. And if you talk to girls as awkwardly as you type on here, I think you might be in for heartbreak. You're 19, aren't you?

[Anonymous No.18510947]

>>18510878
22. I'm not awkward since I've become unphased by the odd situations my sperging sometimes leads me to. Frankly I just sperg out of boredom because most peoples conversations are so dead. Thanks for the concern tho.

[Anonymous No.18510992]

I'm enjoying The Beach far more than I thought I would , might even crack my top 5

[Anonymous No.18511059]

I now understand the mess that is me, but I don't know how to fix it

Put simply, I don't believe humans have any intrinsic value. I value people purely for what they can do. I apply that same logic to myself, only valuing what I can do with my gifts and weighing it against my regrets and failures as well as the successes of others. This means that any moment I'm not getting value out of myself is wasted, and consequently can't be happy unless I'm using my brain or being funny. I envy the gifts of others and fear not being able to produce value

What then do I need to convince myself of? That humans are intrinsically valuable? That my regrets no longer matter? That my value is not decreasing?

[Anonymous No.18511071]

>>18510992
I'll check it out

[Anonymous No.18511079]

>>18511059
>That humans are intrinsically valuable
Of course they are. From the most reductive and materialist perspective, they contain the potential for action. Consider that option contracts on say gold are not valued at 0$, having a human around is valuable in the same way.

[Anonymous No.18511126]

>>18511079
I wrote a book about a machine, who dry's humans, charcoal burns them and burn them to harness energy.

[Anonymous No.18511139]

>>18511079
anything with potential energy has the potential for action. Humans aren't special. At best, you can reduce us to regions of decreasing entropy but even that isn't unique to humanity, everything alive has the capacity to reduce entropy within themselves. Technically even refrigerators do that. What then? Our ability to create? Most people can't do that so it's not making the average person valuable, just the exceptionally valuable ones. We're back to square one

also, who are we producing value for exactly? the aforementioned humans who lack value? The only direction for growth I see is the in opposite direction: accepting that all things I consider value are valueless and giving in to nihilism and hedonism

[Anonymous No.18511491]

I think I'm starting to get it now /lit/. the problem within me isn't that I'm not able to be happy, the problem was that I wasnt letting myself be happy because I felt obligated to be productive

I was supposed to take a break from my writing to have fun with my life, but I was only focusing on how to get my inspiration back. I was angry at myself for being obsessed with DnD because it was just a waste of time. I gave up on learning to draw because I was more focused on being good at it than enjoying it

why was I so focused on creating value when I didn't even know who that value was for? because I've been trained to by a lifetime of propaganda to think it was the ideal to strive for. What I should have been striving for is enjoying myself!

[Anonymous No.18511565]

I remember going to see the ocean years ago with a girl I thought I'd marry. It was a practice of sorts, an American art of learning how to be effective and economical tourists. It was also a marker for us - we were in our early twenties. I was of decent economic means already, and she was of rich enough stock that her lack of work didn't concern either of us. Nonetheless, I insisted we split the beach-adjacent hotel. That allowed us to pretend it was a fair exchange, though the money came from a credit card her mother paid for, and though I paid for the shared meals, and though the only money she spent was on novelty treats from a quaint shop that she bought for their photogenic value. But I was in love, of course, and I would even say she was in love with me. But men and women have irreconcilably different loves.

When women love, they love like flower pickers, like art curators, or like collectors of fine hearts and fancy notions. They, moreso than men, trust in that intuitive notion that the quality of what is around them speaks to the pedestal they themselves deserve. Ironically, "lovingly", "naturally", they seat themselves just above their cultivated aesthetic, as a sort of authorial royalty-payment. Men are much more keen to the fact that the worth of love is better known to be pragmatic, less rose colored, and only hollowly inflated by "pretty" and "romantic" sensibilities.

Youth, storming as it is, confuses the human animal, man or woman, and engenders fantasies of unified souls and entangled destinies. Something all good and well for those who reproduce, but for her, for I, we fucking fool-hearted creatures, it was only ever the symmetry of faces and the friction of skin that bound us. Yet still, I think of that trip to the ocean, and most fondly think of the lengthy drive, where somehow we couldn't possibly be tired of each other. In fact, it was quite the opposite.

[Anonymous No.18511637]

>>18511565
You write like Henry James, in the sense that its about vaguely aristocratic dalliances and inflated to the point of bursting with perfumed thoughts.

Still though, you posted, and you deserve respect for that.

[Anonymous No.18511638]

>>18507843
It seems like regardless of what I do, I am trapped in an unending spiral of my own demise. I am too lazy to search for a way out, too self-centred to ask for help, too insecure to show even the faintest notion of weakness. Not long ago I showed my true colors and was completely rejected for it. Nothing can free me, not drugs, not booze, not women, not books, not food, not cars, not God, not the Dao, not Nirvana, not logic. I'm not suicidal, I'm not anything anymore, I am a grey sludge that walks the earth in the mire of my own desolation.

[Anonymous No.18511656]

I have been wondering how exactly I should get from here:

>John likes kitty cats and pee pee poo poo. John plays with his pee pee poo poo in the sandbox.

To here:

>A screaming comes across the sky. It has happened before, but there is nothing to compare it to now.

>It is too late. The Evacuation still proceeds, but it's all theatre. There are no lights inside the cars. No light anywhere. Above him lift girders old as an iron queen, and glass somewhere far above that would let the light of day through. But it's night. He's afraid of the way the glass will fall—soon—it will be a spectacle: the fall of a crystal palace. But coming down in total blackout, without one glint of light, only great invisible crashing.

>Inside the carriage, which is built on several levels, he sits in velveteen darkness, with nothing to smoke, feeling metal nearer and farther rub and connect, steam escaping in puffs, a vibration in the carriage's frame, a poising, an uneasiness, all the others pressed in around, feeble ones, second sheep, all out of luck and time: drunks, old veterans still in shock from ordnance 20 years obsolete, hustlers in city clothes, derelicts, exhausted women with more children than it seems could belong to anyone, stacked about among the rest of the things to be carried out to salvation. Only the nearer faces are visible at all, and at that only as half-silvered images in a view finder, green-stained VIP faces remembered behind bulletproof windows speeding through the city...

Yes, my aim is to write like Pynchon; nay, to BE Pynchon. And be Pynchon I shall, O my brothers and sisters. Let us embark on this grand road of discovery together so that we may ALL be Pynchons.

Insane you say? Impossible? Why, take that crap and shove it up your snatch! Being Pynchon is hard, but hardness is different from impossibility. Of course, one cannot simply replicate Pynchon, but one can aim for that same level of intense condensation that characterizes his prose. First, we must understand what exactly MAKES Pynchon Pynchon. And I don't mean just a namby pamby analysis of symbols and references like a dried-out, withered, old cunt of a lit scholar. I mean matching voice for voice, detail for detail, image for image, tone for tone -- an EXCAVATION of Pynchon. I say we shovel up bones, set alight old tomes, and READ READ READ.

[Anonymous No.18511669]

When does it get better? When will I stop being alone?

[Anonymous No.18511688]

If you could read people's minds, you would know even less about them.

[Anonymous No.18511694]

>>18511637
'preciate it nigga

[Anonymous No.18511774]

>>18510297
I imagine suicide is metaphorically the result of a person that is surrounded by flames thus jumps out of the window to escape the heat, pressure and pain because that is the better alternative than doing nothing. Suicidal ideation is quite a different thing.

[Anonymous No.18511802]

>>18511774
Your imagination is quite similar to David Foster Wallace, what a coincidence.

[Anonymous No.18511837]

My mom is driving me crazy. I'm really heavily introverted and need a lot of time to myself. My mom came into town last week and has insisted on taking up tons and tons of my time every day. I get off of work at 8am, wait two or three hours for her to wake up and get ready, by which time I'd normally be getting ready for bed and winding down. It's like I get off work and go right back to work. My writing is suffering for it. I just feel mentally drained and stressed out. I'm probably going to have to tell her it's about time for her to get going and go back home. It makes me feel like a bit of a bastard but my entire life is getting messed up by accommodating her. This is the time of year I have very, very little actual work to do at my job and when I get the most time to write uninterrupted and my mom's sucking up all my energy during this period I've been looking forward to all season. She's talking about staying for a fucking month, and I'm going crazy after less than a week. The worst part is that I can't even relax in those two or three hours I'm waiting for her in the morning because I know I have to go out later, which prevents me from totally settling into what had become a comfortable rhythm. I feel like tearing my hair out.

[Anonymous No.18511841]

>>18511837
So this is what they talk about when they talk about communication problems.

[Anonymous No.18511845]

>>18511841
I've told her basically all of this but she either genuinely forgets or just chooses to ignore it. If I can get her to directly address or respond to anything, which is a herculean task, she'll just brush it off by saying it's not that big a deal or making some small concession that never actually materializes.

[Anonymous No.18511858]

>>18511845
So you have told her–directly–to leave your house, but she refused?

[Anonymous No.18511859]

imagine a cage full of wild monkeys at a zoo. inside the cage, there is a crate with a confused sleepy mouse inside. monkeys play and tap the mouse, the mouse responds with a sad shout of help which is answered with a vulgar wild laugh. outside the cage there are tourists watching the monkeys. they in turn burst out laughing at the stupid screams of locked monkeys, without understanding the same is happening to them, just one step up.

[Anonymous No.18511869]

>>18511858
She's not even staying with me. She just wants so much of my time. Like I said, I am extremely introverted and need a LOT of time to myself in order to recharge. She doesn't even need to be staying at my house to prevent that.

[Anonymous No.18511880]

>>18511869
Have you told her to physically leave you alone? "Mom, I need to be alone, please don't visit me."

[Anonymous No.18511886]

>>18507843
For some reason, I have started to feel attracted to girls again, and even if I still attracted to boys, it has decreased a lot

[Anonymous No.18511888]

>>18511880
I shouldn't have to say that, but I will. If she doesn't seem like she's going to drive back down on Thursday I'm going to insist and tell her (again) the way her visit is negatively impacting me.

[Anonymous No.18511901]

>>18511888
Maybe take your life in your own hands for once and don't avoid conflict. Tell her–now–that you can't do anything because of her, that this is the time you need for yourself the most and that you want to be left alone. Don't forget to give her a kiss, you sweet brute. If she hates you for it, fuck her and her bitch ways.

[Anonymous No.18511907]

>>18511901
She's going through some shit right now since her husband died of cancer four or five months back so I have a good reason to try to be accommodating. I genuinely feel terribly for her but at the same time I have my own life and my own goals I have to focus on.

[Anonymous No.18511911]

>>18510019
ow the edge

[Anonymous No.18511915]

>>18511669
Tomorrow

[Anonymous No.18511916]

>>18511907
Yeah, that's a tough one. Do what you feel, but don't be a bitch about it.

[Anonymous No.18511918]

>>18511916
Cheers, thanks anon.

[Anonymous No.18511922]

>>18511694
shut the fuck up

[Anonymous No.18511927]

>>18511837
Oh boo hoo anon. You're writing is suffering? Like you're the next fuckin Joyce anyway and not just some rube chasing fantasies like the rest of us. You only have one mother anon. You have the rest of your life to write. You should change your attitude and spend some time with her, she clearly loves you. You're not better than her anon, you spend your time posting on 4chan.

[Anonymous No.18511933]

>>18511927
Invalidation is ultimately not a helpful process. The thoughts I wrote down were what I was feeling at the time. I have expressed them as a thing that happened, processed them sufficiently with the help of the above anon, and I will now move on.

[Anonymous No.18511935]

>>18511922
ice cold senpai

[Anonymous No.18512068]

On Thursday, I'll have to work from seven in the morning until eight in the evening. When will I write? When will I read? There's only one thing that I am certain of, an eternal truth, in fact: The Jews are to blame for this.

[Anonymous No.18512177]

My god what have I done. I wrote an essay of a thread and I can't even read it back without cringing. I'm sorry.

[Anonymous No.18512197]

>>18512177
These dubs indicate that the LORD has already forgiven you, anon.

[Anonymous No.18512212]

I was able to crystallise exactly why I don’t accept trans people are the gender they say they are. Was talking with a friend about this. They were saying ‘they feel like women’ so they must be and I just said ‘how can you feel like a woman, if you aren’t one’. Made sense I thought. Plus I was thinking of those videos where a cat gets raised by a dog or something. They’re very cute but the cat would just be imitating the most base and outward behaviours of the dog from their perspective. So in short YWNBAW etc.

[Anonymous No.18512224]

>>18512068
you are to blame faggot

[Anonymous No.18512241]

>>18510502
I haven't kissed many girls, but the last one had normal lips, and they were indeed soft and pleasant to kiss
We even kissed after she swallowed my cum

[Anonymous No.18512248]

>>18510297
>Is that how it happens /lit/? It’s on your mind for years until finally your mind gives up and stops pushing the thought away.
I can speak only for myself. I've had it on my mind for years, sometimes more intensely, sometimes less, and when it started becoming too intrusive (like, eating dinner with my mom, telling her "This is very good, mom!" while at the same time thinking at my rotten body hanging from a tree) I asked for help

[Anonymous No.18512256]

>>18512224
seethe harder schlomo

[Anonymous No.18512286]

>>18512212
>how can you feel like a woman, if you aren’t one
How can you feel like a conservative if you aren't one? How can you feel like a liberal or an ancap or a Marxist or whatever? None of these things are physical objects that take a physical form. If you have no problem attributing to living, breathing humans some abstraction or another, then why not the abstraction of womanhood? It is actually an abstraction in the way trannies mean. Being a woman is a lot more than just having a vagoo and a set of functioning ovaries, after all. It is a social role with its own set of standards and cultural distinctions which dramatically exceed the possession of a specific reproductive organ. Really, the whole YOU WILL NEVER BE A BIOLOGICAL WOMAN thing is a complete red herring. No tranny actually believes they are a biological woman. It's the social structures around womanhood they identify and emphasize with, to the point where they "feel like a woman" in a man's body.

Trannies personally make me deeply uncomfortable to be around, but what I can say in their defense is that MTF tranners are almost as a rule at least one standard deviation in IQ. They think about this issue way more deeply than you do, and your "crystallized" musings are unironically and genuinely just poorly thought out. I have a certain degree of sympathy for them. I am myself a veteran, another demographic constantly the butt of jokes and "opinions" (if you can really even call them that) bandied around on the internet by genuine idiots who think their opinions are bluntly, a lot more rational and cogent than they really are.

[Anonymous No.18512289]

going to start streaming on twitch
I'll come back and buy you guys books when I'm a millionaire

[Anonymous No.18512296]

>>18512286
>MTF tranners are almost as a rule at least one standard deviation in IQ.
Above the norm. What I mean to say is that if you take a random cross section of trannies versus the general population, those trannies are much more likely to not just be more intelligent than the norm but exceptionally intelligent.

[Anonymous No.18512306]

>>18512256
it's not my fault you suck at life, also kill yourself

[Anonymous No.18512315]

>>18512212
no no, gender is in fact performative, you don't get it. see gender roles are just a random concept so you can in fact feel like a woman if you assume female gender roles. simple as. women who adopt extremely feminine, gendered behavior are just like trannies in that regard.

[Anonymous No.18512318]

>>18512241
Nice anon

[Anonymous No.18512329]

>>18512296
ywnbaw

[Anonymous No.18512334]

>>18512329
le ebin meme word XD

[Anonymous No.18512336]

I am so lonely

[Anonymous No.18512348]

When did I ever say you couldn't be friends with her? Sure things are little bit awkward, but we're both adults. And we've been fine, things are OK between us. I can't be your only friend on the face of the planet. You have to accept that we are just friends. I'm not your life partner. At some point you have to make other friends. Maybe a boyfriend. I'm sorry that I can't help you in that respect, I wish that I could. But you are an adult also and you have to take your own initiative at a certain point. I can support you but I can't live your life for you. Be your own person. Things have been tough for me too, you know?

[Anonymous No.18512383]

>>18512286
I get what your saying but don't those things that make women, women also have a huge effect on how they see themselves? They can give birth to children whereas men cannot, they ovulate monthly whereas men can not. they have very little testosterone so cannot build the same muscle mass. I have no hate for trannies at all but one cannot be what one is not. this is also true of their gender idenitity, they don't feel totally male and I generally beleive that is the case for them.

Take the example of a bird, an eagle. It's wings and ability to fly at high speeds give it a totally different physical perspective on the world. If a bird were able to talk, I doubt we could even properly communicate with it as it's physical characteristics literally give it a view of humanity. What I'm saying is that biology can in many ways determine what and how we think. A bird is a bird because it can fly. A woman is a omen because they can ovulate. Imagine if we strapped wings to a cat, it would fly like a cat imitating a bird, not a bird itself.

[Anonymous No.18512392]

>>18512383
>a verbose idiot

[Anonymous No.18512395]

>>18512383
>I get what your saying
I see precisely zero evidence of this.

[Anonymous No.18512397]

>>18512348
Who said I wasn't my own person? Who said I wouldn't accept friendship with her? And most importantly, who said you were my only friend? Maybe your confusion is based in some naïve assumption that friends were meant to be like distant planets in adulthood, or that you actually believe - ironically enough - in the idea that people have a choice in certain inevitable matters. Of course you're my friend. One of the closest. And you've seen me at my lowest, and hopefully, at some point, that gives you the courage, if you ever get there, to lean on me. Because I'll be there. When did I ask you to live my life? It surely wasn't in moon-lit cig-chats or after waking up at noon. Of course I know it has been hard, hell, harder for you. But the catastrophes of life don't all happen at the same time. The curtain never closes for this fucking meat-grinder life. The only difference might be that you were closer to the blades a little earlier than I was. But don't fucking pretend like I've just been prancing around you for validation. That's bullshit. And furthermore, if she has anything to say to me, she can stop using you as a messenger and trust that I'll listen face-to-face.

[Anonymous No.18512408]

>>18512383
>They can give birth to children whereas men cannot, they ovulate monthly whereas men can not.
a lot of people can do things that other people cannot, or do things that other people do not. it's not a life-changing experience to have periods every month. moreover, most women are on the pill anyway - so, are they not women anymore, because they do not ovulate? there are also women who don't have children, or can't have children. women and men aren't like cats and birds in that they aren't two intrinsically different species whose experiences are intrinsically inaccessible to one another. human experience is a spectrum, all people have individually different experiences and even individually different biological makeups, yet they can understand one another.

[Anonymous No.18512409]

>>18512383
>I have no hate for trannies at all but one cannot be what one is not
>What I'm saying is that biology can in many ways determine what and how we think
Different anon here
I agree with most of what you say
I just wanted to add 2 things
1)After all, if someone wants to change sex to feel better, in what way this diminishes me? It has no effect on my life. Who am I to say "no"?
2)It seems that some trans people have some phisycal attributes (including hormones rate) that put them closer to their perceived rather than their assigned sex

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Digit_ratio#Male-to-female_transgender_women

First one that I remembered

[Anonymous No.18512413]

>>18512408
>it's not a life-changing experience to have periods every month.
that's not what every woman ever told me, though

[Anonymous No.18512421]

My office job saps my mental energy and creativity so that I find it hard to write. I never felt this way when I was working with my hands.

[Anonymous No.18512434]

>>18512413
It is true that the period acts as a shocking symbol of the beginning of sexual maturation. I will never be a woman (thank god) but I can imagine how that is a scary and shocking experience for girls. That said, is it all that significant for an adult woman who's been bleeding every month since puberty? After a certain point doesn't it just start becoming an inconvenience? To the point where many women take pills that make it go away even if they're not particularly active sexually? Males don't have this specific experience, but it's definitely not implausible for the experience of a rough analogue.

[Anonymous No.18512462]

>>18512434
>That said, is it all that significant for an adult woman who's been bleeding every month since puberty?
Idk man, every woman I've ever talked to said they hate them.
I don't know exactly how the pills work, I just checked a bit and it seems you still lose blood, but that it's strictly speaking "not a real period". I mean, I still wouldn't like it to bleed from my hole.

[Anonymous No.18512478]

>>18512395
I was trying to be cordial but your being retarded. WHAT I AM SAYING is that the biological things that women do that men don’t inform their social role. MTF tranners are only able to perceive the outward appearance of women’s role in society. They only see what is manufactured for other people and believe that is the essence of feminity. This is not their fault as they literally cannot perceive what they want to become as they are not it. They see how we perform rather than what they are. IT IS A CRUDE AND MALFORMED VISION OF FEMINITY FROM THE MALE PERSPECTIVE, as they are biologically male. This is often why they perform feminity as it is seen by men, not women. I BELEIVE TRUE BIOLOGICAL WOMEN ARE LINKED TO THE EARTH AND THE MOON BY THEIR OVULATION. Tranners can not have this

[Anonymous No.18512499]

Mods and jannies are handing out a lot of bans and warnings lately for completely run of the mill off color jokes. What are they trying to do, nice the place up so they can sell adspace to America's Got Talent? Are we trying to attract the reddit and twitter demographic? Is 4chan making a bid to host the winter olympics?

[Anonymous No.18512500]

>>18512478
I am 100% against birth control and condoms btw. I think they are both Jewish and refuse to wear one, without exception.

[Anonymous No.18512502]

>>18512500
based

[Anonymous No.18512506]

>>18512413
>that's not what every woman ever told me, though
"every woman ever"? fine, then i will act as the one woman who will tell you that periods are not life-changing. periods are a meme. unless they are extremely painful, that is, but it is individual and not at all a problem for everyone.

[Anonymous No.18512511]

>>18512478
I agree for the most part. My point still stands unaddressed.

[Anonymous No.18512516]

>>18512478
>I BELEIVE TRUE BIOLOGICAL WOMEN ARE LINKED TO THE EARTH AND THE MOON BY THEIR OVULATION
the earth? the moon? are we in the 1400s?

[Anonymous No.18512521]

>>18512516
Oh, I missed that. Yeah, verbose idiot. Time to move along.

[Anonymous No.18512524]

>>18512516
>this guy doesn't believe in the moon

[Anonymous No.18512525]

>>18512511
I agree with you, at least the last thing you said. We are of course not the different but different enough so that life is still interesting. I was just saying that biology informs that difference. There will always be outliers, you are right

[Anonymous No.18512533]

>>18512516
How many full moon are there in a year? 12. How many times do women ovulate in a year? 12. You cannot deny this.

[Anonymous No.18512536]

>>18512524
people are magically linked to the moon god who controls women (NOT trannies) and the earth

[Anonymous No.18512537]

>>18512524
The moon is powerful, women have a link to the moon. I believe they are intrinsically more in tune to the natural environment.

[Anonymous No.18512540]

>>18512533
>How many full moon are there in a year? 12. How many times do women ovulate in a year? 12. You cannot deny this.
WHOA DUDE CONFIRMED MIND = BLOWN! this means women have MOON MAGICK

[Anonymous No.18512549]

are the anons itt aware that thinking females are esoterically linked to the moon somehow and thus mystically in tune with the earth is a 100% fembrained train of thought? do you also believe in astrology?

[Anonymous No.18512551]

>>18512537
>>18512540
Imagine not believing in the power and majesty of the moon. How it shifts tides and moves oceans. How boring. I know the moon has power, it may not be manic but I know it is a powerful force

[Anonymous No.18512559]

>>18512533
But bro if you factor out all the primes and add them together you only get 7...?! 7 is only one more than 6, and three sixes together are the number of the beast. If we extrapolate this outwards we can begin to see that women don't ovulate once per month, twelve months per year but instead in cycles of six – three cycles, to be precise. But these sixes always want to be seven because 7 is the number of God, so we can further separate those cycles into "weak" sixes and "strong" sixes, being the God cycles and the Beast cycles respectively. But we are still six short. These are the cycles you mistake for twelve. You have an alternating dynamic between the weak and strong cycles, which are really two sides of the same coin composing the original six Cycles of Man Eggs. Since there are only two genders according to God's plan, it makes sense that each egg must alternate in its gender, making up the six Male cycles and the six Female cycles, together composing the twelve. Thus I have proven that the ovulating cycles of women are tied not to the moon and the seasons but instead to God himself.

QED

[Anonymous No.18512571]

>>18512549
You misunderstand. What I am saying is that women are more rooted to the natural environment. They are the balancing natural force against the progressive power of men. Men shape the environment, women are in tune with it. Men can not access this TRUE natural connection. They are our connection to the earth and moon. It is fembrained because it is fem. women who beleive in astrology are normal, because it is true for them

[Anonymous No.18512602]

>>18512571
>It is fembrained because it is fem. women who beleive in astrology are normal, because it is true for them
So let me see if I can piece this all together. Astrology is true for women because their menstrual cycles cause them to be somehow "linked" to the moon, which makes them more in tune with the environment. Women believing in astrology is evidence that it is true, but only for women because of their menstrual cycles linking them to the moon. Because trannies can never ovulate, they can never forge this cosmic connection to the moon and thus can never believe in astrology. Am I missing anything?

[Anonymous No.18512609]

>>18512506
>but it is individual and not at all a problem for everyone.
Yes, individual problems are not a problem for everyone. But that's beside the point, isn't it?
I know many girls who have irregular periods, or painful ones, or whatever, and they don't really care if "someone else does not have painful or irregular periods", in fact it makes it worse, doesn't it?

[Anonymous No.18512615]

For the memester gynaecological astronomers above, there is actually a statistically significant impact of lunar cycles on menstrual cycles. It's not strong enough to work in all cases, obviously, but women's menstrual cycles more frequently sync with the new or full moons, if young, and with the perigee if older.

[Anonymous No.18512623]

The irony about life is that the correct decision to make in almost any circumstance usually isn't difficult to figure out, yet even if we make all the right moves, we're still likely to suffer anyway.

[Anonymous No.18512624]

>>18512571
women are part of earth and nature, but men aren't part of earth and nature. men do not even inhabit the earth. astrology is real. but only for women. because astrology is nature. women are nature. men can't be in tune with nature, because men aren't even human. dude, the moon is so majestic, women are magical. women are moon people because they bleed from their vagina (but not at all in accordance with moon cycles, and at different times). there is a moon god who sits on the moon. i worship the moon.

[Anonymous No.18512626]

>>18512571
You have unironically almost convinced me

[Anonymous No.18512633]

>>18512615
Sure. But it's making a mountain out of a molehill. Invoking the moon is an attempt at giving the argument some kind of cosmic gravitas that has no rigorous logic behind it. His argument isn't just that women's periods line up sometimes with the cycles of the moon, but that there is some kind of special "woman-essence" BECAUSE of this, by virtue of which YWNBAWBTM (you will never be a woman because the moon) etc.

[Anonymous No.18512646]

>>18512602
it's so fucking funny

[Anonymous No.18512664]

>>18512633
Well, if it is a gravitational effect, then its likely female biology is especially prone to that effect and it might extend beyond menstrual cycles. The association with the lunar cycle is strong enough that several primitive societies with very impractical medical views could observe it casually. Trannies could just get moonstones and act like bitches only around a specific moon phase, and pass better than those females who are less influenced by lunar cycles, so I don't see why you're complaining.

[Anonymous No.18512670]

>>18512623
>likely
It's not just likely, it's a guarantee

[Anonymous No.18512674]

Feeling depressed. Just want to get high and go to the airport and watch the planes.

[Anonymous No.18512676]

ITT anon finally divines the true nature of women

[Anonymous No.18512690]

>>18512664
>Well, if it is a gravitational effect, then its likely female biology is especially prone to that effect and it might extend beyond menstrual cycles.
i don't see why the effect of the moon would extend beyond menstrual cycles for women, and at the same time not extend on men at all. if the moon's effect extends beyond menstrual cycles, it extends on all humans. do you think that the gravity of the moon does not apply to men? men exist beyond gravity?

[Anonymous No.18512694]

>>18512676
tfw it was the moon all along

[Anonymous No.18512715]

>>18512690
>why yes, I am a post-gravitational lifeforms, how could you tell?

[Anonymous No.18512734]

>>18512715
BEYOND trannies, BEYOND the earth, i have already transcended.

[Anonymous No.18512766]

I googled my problem and the only thing I could find was the opposite. I’m sick and the only medicine is not to care. I’m living life on empty and there isn’t enough time. Never enough time. Never enough time. I just want to be comfortable. Death can’t fix me. I’m too far gone to write anything of any value. Forever pathetic. At least I have Dr. Pepper.

[Anonymous No.18512783]

>>18509630
>German or Russian
Definitely, yes. As long as you find the language interesting, and you like it of course.

[Anonymous No.18512794]

>>18512602
Yes. My proof is that Women who believe in astrology and mysticism ALWAYS have the best pussy. Have you have had sex with a women who has loads of crystals and objects of natural power in her room. NO! I have and by my observation they have the best pussy. You cannot deny this

[Anonymous No.18512799]

>>18512794
I’m going to do a full write up of my idea. Nannies please don’t ban me give me a day or two. I will post it one of these threads

[Anonymous No.18512820]

>>18512794
>Yes. My proof is that Women who believe in astrology and mysticism ALWAYS have the best pussy. Have you have had sex with a women who has loads of crystals and objects of natural power in her room. NO! I have and by my observation they have the best pussy. You cannot deny this
??????????????????????????????

[Anonymous No.18512846]

>>18512820
You put question marks because you aren’t able to observe this natural fact.

[Anonymous No.18512847]

If {dubs}
then {we're all gonna make it}
else {is there anything more fucking tedious than computer programming? I'm having to deal w writing shit up in LaTeX these days and even that is a chore. Eff me, man.}

[Anonymous No.18512887]

>>18512820
He's not wrong, you know

[Anonymous No.18512897]

>>18512887
the opposite is true in my experience

[Anonymous No.18513009]

AstroThots do indeed have the best pussy. This is literature related. Highly recommend Ulrich Ruosch's alchemical manual.

[Anonymous No.18513071]

Have you ever googled your own name /lit/? Here what I found:
>my fucking bachelor's marksheet
>some guy with the exact same name as mine with a different letter
>some chick

[Anonymous No.18513142]

>>18513071
Post chick pic

[Anonymous No.18513337]

the worst part of going back to the office is having to talking to your coworkers. nine out of ten have absolutely generic mass media tier takes on everything, and the one guy who doesn't has insane conspiracy theory takes. this shit sucks so bad.

[Anonymous No.18513350]

there's no going back to before 2020.

[Anonymous No.18513359]

>>18513350
that's been true since the beginning of time anon
enjoy every piece of life you can, live a little
moments are fleeting

[Anonymous No.18513375]

>>18508730
>tfw hate the tiger for its stripes
never much cared for someone's opinion of what I "should" do, which is coincidentally all women nag you about when you're with them.

[Anonymous No.18513378]

>>18513359
i mean the specter of biological warfare can't be undone anymore than nuclear weapons.

[Anonymous No.18513383]

>>18513378
ah, true, true
but in all honesty, this seems inevitable, we were always doomed to end ourselves

[Anonymous No.18513384]

>>18513350
>there's no going back to before 2020.
>there's no going back to before.
>there's no going back to.
>there's no going back.
>no going back.
>no going.
>no.
>o.
>.
>

[Anonymous No.18513391]

>>18513384

[Anonymous No.18513423]

>>18509611
This is the hardest ive laughed in a while. Thank you.

[Anonymous No.18513432]

Americans are too weak to fight thier enemies ( russians and chinese) but in movies and video games to feel better about their sorry fat azz they.. bomb innocents women / children in the middle of a forgotten tent in the desert to make them feel secure and probably superior! but how could they
succeed at convincing a fat sharter from Milwaukee that these desert niggerz are threatening his existence his shitty lifestyle macdonald sandwich mindset thing

[Anonymous No.18513469]

>>18507843
I really want to believe in the idea that the energy I put out into the universe will be reflected back to me. The hard part is knowing what kind of energy I send out, and when it comes back. It sounds like such a nice concept, but at the same time just so utterly ridiculous.

[Anonymous No.18513475]

>>18513423
>laughed
>there's no funny, only whining
???

[Anonymous No.18513597]

>>18507843
>stopped hanging around with what few friends I had because they had low opinions of me
>can't join any servers of any kind without being stonewalled from any conversation by in-groups
>can't play sports because of coof lockdowns
>co-workers are trying to push me out even though they're leaving the job soon themselves
>every book seems to be about place in society and solemnity of mind in knowing it
How do I stop being me?

[Anonymous No.18513617]

>>18510502
I don’t fucking get kissing, it just feels like slugs. Even worse when there’s tongue. Is it my technique?

[Anonymous No.18513633]

A few years ago, I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. The psychosis subsided. These days, I wish I could bring it back; I can't stand working anymore, my life is passing me by. How do I attain this?

[Anonymous No.18513634]

>>18507916
damn dude. anyway check this image out

[Anonymous No.18513647]

>>18513597
Your friends probably like you more than you realize. Also where do you live that the lockdown is still so strict?

[Anonymous No.18513657]

>>18513647
Prison Island. All indoor sports are still heavily restricted.

I saw the chat logs. If anything they put on a nicer face to me than I deserved based on their opinions. It's distressing continually having no place to belong, because it starts to make you wonder if there's anywhere you can even be. I've just been pushed and gated out of everything. It's been so long since I felt as though I were safely part of something, I'm beginning to lose fortitude for it.

[Anonymous No.18513691]

>>18513469
There is no loss.
Ultimately, you're giving to God and what is God's belongs to everyone.

[Anonymous No.18513747]

>>18513617
You don't like kissing? Really? Never heard such a thing

[Anonymous No.18513769]

>>18513657
Life for men like you is a lonely one. Just learn to accept it. Theres solace in solitude.

[Anonymous No.18513774]

You can't take a step in any direction on 4chan nowadays without someone talking about trannies. Everyone is totally obsessed with the topic

[Anonymous No.18513779]

>>18513774
Do you have any idea why? Because I'm genuinely wondering.

[Anonymous No.18513782]

>>18513769
I'm not sure I can be bothered with it.

[Anonymous No.18513826]

>>18513779
I can only make guesses but the fact they're a sacred cow now in mainstream Western media makes it very tempting for a lot of this site's audience to shit on them as much as possible, not unlike Christianity bashing back when religion had a slightly firmer grip on America. It's become a very mainstream thing in the past 5 years, so tons of people are being told it's normal, and a lot of people react with disgust on 4chan because they have no outlet to do that irl without repercussions. For them to come up a certain amount nowadays is expected. But some people seem fixated on them to an unhealthy degree. Especially on places like /v/ where people bring it up in random threads all the time and go on tangents about trannies for no conceivable reason. It's weird

[Anonymous No.18513881]

Want to go to Eastern Europe for summer, which country though I cannot decide, lockdowns seem harsh in some places I don't want to quarantine. My initial plan to visit Belarus has been put on hold, based Lukashenko taking down that plane made them shut down flights there. I'd wanna see the countryside I suppose, maybe try the Bald and bankrupt method, just meet some real people that aren't fucked in the head by globalist culture

[Anonymous No.18513884]

>>18513826
>Especially on places like /v/ where people bring it up in random threads all the time and go on tangents about trannies for no conceivable reason. It's weird
/v/ has essentially become bait central. Every argument leads up to who calls who a tranny first.

[Anonymous No.18513901]

I wish I knew how to stop replaying all the things that make me unhappy. It’s gotten to a point that I can’t recall anything about former friends aside from all the times they hurt me, which makes me wonder why I would’ve been friends with them at all.

[Anonymous No.18513931]

>>18512794
I think you're on the right track of you tie this into Jung's take. Astrological myths were created and survive in every extant culture because they help humans proliferate.

[Anonymous No.18513942]

What are some what are some books on what books are on what are books some books.

[Anonymous No.18513949]

>>18513931
>Astrological myths were created and survive in every extant culture because they help humans proliferate.
This is unironically what a girl (who has an art gallery and read tarots) told me a couple weeks ago, she said that Jodorowsky made a whole study about this shit.
It's good that she's my friend's gf because that's the kind of woman that make me go insane with unrequited love.

[Anonymous No.18514050]

The Earth may as well be infinite. I think about that often. There's so much stuff that no one will ever experience in its entirety. Hell, just a big city or a small country are already inconceivably vast. An individual can never see all the nooks and crannies of even a single city. A family that lives in a city for ten generations isn't enough to experience ALL of it. Even a single city may as well be infinite. Yet, there's almost no place on Earth untouched by human hands. So really, mankind itself also may as well be an infinite. One even larger than Earth. It's sublime.

[Anonymous No.18514091]

>>18514050
saved, I got some Calvino/Borges vibes from this

>It's poetry in the streets of the big apple

>And a vitality found in few other places

>But look beneath the surface of the city

>And you shall uncover a seething cesspool of human emotions

>Gone sour

>A planet with nightmares that become reality

>Witness the brutality

>There's poetry in the streets of the big apple

>You get tackled

>And grappled to the floor, white slaved up and shackled

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVpiNZkmhlk

[Anonymous No.18514094]

Working full-time right now. Barely have time for reading. I want to die.

[Anonymous No.18514144]

This thread is the reminder of how life has changed the past few months. Every time i saw this thread i would hop in and have something to write, but now it just makes me realise that i only get here to take my mind off for a few minutes and enter the state of mindlessly scrolling through 4chan till i fall asleep.
Fair enough, i did write something but only so i can fuck off with some peace of mind that offers the idea of still being the same deep down.

[Anonymous No.18514200]

I've realized that my two biggest flaws and major reasons for the current state of my life are fear and laziness.
I've never learned to face fear and I managed to just run away and hide during my life. I get paralysed, my mind goes blank and I can only avoid things or run away. I can't climb a ladder because I am scared of the height, never tried to socialize and make friends because I am afraid of embarassment and people, never tried to get a gf because I was afraid of women, and so on. I kept running away and hiding in my inner world and my fantasies, never leaving my comfort zone. I was too afraid of the world to live it.
I was always told by my parents, relatives and teachers that I was very smart and came to the stupid conclusion that it was enough and that the world was my oyster because I was smart, after all, I didn't put any effort in school and still always got good grades. Then in college, I managed to go through it with the bare minimum of dedication and the situation continued. As the result, I never truly applied myself into anything, never developed a passion, I floated numbly through life and stagnated with no skills.

I am young, I hope there is still time to fix this. I don't have money to pay for a psychologist, so I'll have to do it on my own.

[Anonymous No.18514209]

>>18514200
How old are you?
We share some similarities

[Anonymous No.18514237]

>>18514209
23

[Anonymous No.18514249]

I'm invited to a wedding. I'm really 50/50 desu, but I think the groom very much wants me to come. I've understood that he likes me a lot even though we haven't known eachother for very long. I like him fine too, mostly, but there are some things that are grating between us that a person who felt more confident standing up for themself would maybe have aired, but which I, being meek beyond virtue, have not. There is some unsaid stuff between us, but I can't really get into details without doxxing myself. Right now I just want to vent a little. I don't think I want to go, and the reason is that I'm not doing great and I really struggle to hide if something is wrong and it kind of is and we would really kind of need to clear the air, but I don't think he has the time before the wedding. I really, really don't want to go to his weddins with a negative energy about me, that seems almost criminally wrong to do with someones wedding. So I guess I shouldn't go. But it's a shame, and I think it will hurt him. I could maybe lie and say I have a trip planned. We'll see.

[Anonymous No.18514255]

I unironically need to clean my room but I'm being very lazy. Been doing a lot of yardwork and then nothing lately. Just not feeling up to it.

[Anonymous No.18514325]

>>18514249
Let go of any resentment, go to the wedding and enjoy it, anon.

[Anonymous No.18514329]

i just want to be loved

[Anonymous No.18514407]

>>18514249
Just go you giant pussy. If he likes you enough to invite you to his wedding and would feel hurt if you didn't come, where's the bad blood between you? Crush that open bar and have a good time. Most of the weddings I've been to, the bride and groom are too busy to spend much time talking to any one person anyway, so you won't even really have to deal with him.

[Anonymous No.18514430]

>>18514144
this thread has a little place in my life

[Anonymous No.18514691]

Final exam tomorrow. Completely burned out. Haven't a day this year without course work. Anyways after the exam, i'm going to buy and smoke some weed. I have a 8-month T-break going.

[Anonymous No.18514729]

I just hope it will be a good day tomorrow. I might get a job when everything goes well. Just this one time in my life I want to do the right thing at the right place at the right time. I've made enough stupid decisions and took to many dumb turns. I still have hope. Just have to take it easy.

[Anonymous No.18514775]

laptop is almost
silent. but still i hear it,
always. nothing else.

[Anonymous No.18514842]

I’m looking for stories that have individualism or individuality as a focal point.

[Anonymous No.18514848]

>>18514249
Same here. It’s an old college friend across the country. Same reasons to. Him and everyone else are doing great. Not me. I don’t want to go but feel as though I have to.

[Anonymous No.18514866]

>>18514407
That’s even worse because then you’re left awkwardly alone.

[Anonymous No.18514929]

>>18514866
You and everyone else there have at least one thing in common

>>18514848
Someone else's wedding is not about you

[Anonymous No.18514941]

>>18514842
the book i'm writing

[Anonymous No.18514968]

>work out
>body feels good
>nice

[Anonymous No.18514983]

how does it feel to know how much i love you

[Anonymous No.18515015]

>>18514941
Oh wow a young white guy is writing a novel about individualism, this will certainly be a book with a fresh perspective and many nuanced ideas

>>18514842
Read Steppenwolf

[Anonymous No.18515112]

>>18515015
>Oh wow a young white guy is writing a novel about individualism, this will certainly be a book with a fresh perspective and many nuanced ideas
i'm not a young white guy, but you fucking bet it will

[Anonymous No.18515138]

I finally got around to recording footage for my next book talk video but it's just me running around my town on Animal Crossing at night and in the rain whilst doing some gardening and talking to my villagers. The footage is honestly kind of comfy and relaxing so I might start putting all my videos to Animal Crossing lol.

[Anonymous No.18515539]

rip mcafee

[Anonymous No.18515598]

>>18514929
>Someone else's wedding is not about you
Do you think this is profound?

[Anonymous No.18515622]

>>18507843
Hey y’all anything to do in Acadia Maine? Asking cause my family’s heading down there on vacation

[Anonymous No.18515787]

dubs and I do it today

[Anonymous No.18515797]

>>18515787
>87
Sheeeeiiiit

[Anonymous No.18515798]

>>18515787
off by one, fuck this gay earth

[Anonymous No.18515804]

>>18515798
god says no

[Anonymous No.18515830]

>>18508213
Don't worry anon. Be your own best friend.

[Anonymous No.18515847]

>>18508213
you have us, we are your friends, anon

[Anonymous No.18515851]

>>18515787
He's taunting you anon
he knows that you're afraid

[Anonymous No.18515959]

I really want a gf who would spit in my mouth and put her feet on my face. I don't know how I would acquire that at all, however.

[Anonymous No.18516024]

First I started with the blindpill shit than I realized scientists were wrong about sodium and now I’m realizing they are also wrong about diet. I can’t trust anything anymore and am going full introspective schizo I trust nothing that I can’t test or experience myself. It fucking sucks trying to better yourself and end up running in the wrong direction because some lobbyists wanted to make money.

[Anonymous No.18516072]

>>18515959
You can find some pretty depraved people on tinder if you're willing to lower your standards enough

[Anonymous No.18516128]

>>18516072
Not the same anon
A friend of mine also suggested me to try tinder. I'm kinda ugly, shy and have lots of fetishes I want to try.
What's your experience with it.

[Anonymous No.18516158]

>>18516128
honestly I'm the guy who recommended it but I'm taking it back. The free version of the app is broken deliberately to force you to buy gold, and the gold version is also broken (albeit slightly less) in order to force you to buy premium. But you can try your luck if you want.

[Anonymous No.18516303]

I should do things I want to do, right? Even if they’re kind of immature?

[Anonymous No.18516372]

>>18516303
Dont insert foreign objects, anon. You will regret it.

[Anonymous No.18516395]

>>18507843
I am 21 years old and I haven't had a friend since I was 15. It's probably over for me.

[Anonymous No.18516398]

>>18515622
No, I've never been to Maine.

[Anonymous No.18516410]

I was academically suspended from the top college in Minnesota. It was my fault, but I sent a petition to be readmitted recently. It's been two years since I was there. I don't know what the administration decided, but I hope they said I could come back. I want to finish this. And finish it right.
Waiting for their answer is really killing me, though. I guess they're writing letters for others. Soon they'll get to me.
If I am accepted back, though, I will celebrate my style: a day in downtown, hanging out at the park with a book, treating myself, and ending the trip with a visit to my local bookstore.

[Anonymous No.18516434]

>>18516395
Why haven’t you?

[Anonymous No.18516442]

>>18516434
My only friend moved away and I'm not good at making friends. I don't know why. I think I might have some slight Asperger's.

[Anonymous No.18516614]

How do I increase my vocabulary?
not simply words I recognize, but to actively use them in daily conversation and or when writing a reply

[Anonymous No.18516691]

this world is so utterly fowl
i pay to god for a cleansing fire

[Anonymous No.18516894]

>>18514200
>>18514237

I relate to this far too much and i'm 22

[Anonymous No.18516904]

English isn't my mother tongue
My mother tongue's inside my mother.
My mother's mouth.

[Anonymous No.18516907]

I saw a pic of this qt pie today and decided to look her up. Turns out she's 12 in that pic. I'm deeply disturbed and unsure of myself now.

[Anonymous No.18516923]

>>18514200
I'm similar though not as bad.
I blame the school system itself for this.

[Anonymous No.18517081]

I think I'll probably kill myself at some point.
I don't fit in anywhere. I can't seem to form meaningful relationships with people. I think the wrong thoughts. The things I'm into are weird and offputting and I'm into them for the wrong reasons. The things I care about seem to always turn out badly or end up being a poor thing to care about in the first place. I can't express myself well and I wonder if I'm much less intelligent than those around me. Everything about my personaliyty and thinking abilities seems stunted and misguided in comparison to my peers.
That would all be fine if I was passionate and happy enough, but over the last 5 to 7 years I've slowly lost the ability to meaningfully enjoy or find passion in my interests or activities. My senses are dull and I can't take pleasure or find enjoyment in anything but the most fleeting moments. I'm alive, but not living my life. It's like I'm watching it happen to someone else.

[Anonymous No.18517301]

Can you even be human without memories?

[Anonymous No.18517398]

>>18507961
>What do I do so I won't be lonely as hell?
Become friends with yourself

[Anonymous No.18517422]

>>18512690
Because women have weaker cell walls and are already more prone to conditions which are affected by gravity. Things affected or exacerbated by gravity like fluid retention and syncopy are more common in women.

[Anonymous No.18517447]

Young anon here. What the fuck is a differentiae? I know what a genus vs. specie consists of, but differentiae Aretardtole never explicates

[Anonymous No.18517524]

There was a point in my life when I exclusively listened to circus music.

[Anonymous No.18517568]

Perhaps we have hobbled ourselves from understanding the true meaning of the death of God. We tend to say "we moderns don't believe in God" as though it is a proposition which we soundly reject. We apparently mean "we moderns don't think God exists". Yet I maintain this is entirely foolish. People very rarely think, and masses do not think at all. They believe, and belief has nothing to do with propositions. Meaning, for the living human being is, as Wittgenstein brilliantly exposed, "is a feeling of familiarity". Our problem in assessing the Godless world is that we don't realize that God is something which we have actually forgotten. Is this impossible to accept?
Maybe it is that we are no longer stricken with fear. Many things. Maybe it is also that we no longer live in large continuous generations of family and kin. We no longer believe in danger, and we no longer believe in consequences. Of course, why would people like that believe in God! If we only believe, as moderns do, that life is a comfortable experience contained within my single lifetime, then there is no need for realizing God.

[Anonymous No.18517583]

>>18517422
that does not prove in any way that women are magically more connected to the earth and have esoteric moon energy. false correlation.

[Anonymous No.18517591]

>>18517524
get a load of this clown bitch

[Anonymous No.18517613]

coach wants me to fight in the next tournament but I don't actually like hurting people

[Anonymous No.18517642]

>>18517591
I actually went to clown school to study how to be a clown, do the clown makeup, props, etc. But that wasn't when I listened to circus music.

[Anonymous No.18517719]

––So you believe in God, even though you not only don't know if he exists, but are downright convinced that he doesn't exist?
––Yes.
––You are crazy, my friend.
––That's one way of looking at it.

[Anonymous No.18517720]

I can't lie lads, I'm really not enjoying life rn

[Anonymous No.18517760]

>>18507843
I am avoiding self reflection through introspection, and the acquisition of self knowledge because it would be painful, and I then soon would have to make a big change in my life, but I am /comfy/ with life now, and don't want to make the change, but I may have to because the /comfy/ times may not last forever.

[Anonymous No.18517763]

vai toma no cú

[Anonymous No.18517771]

>>18511915
You lied to me

[Anonymous No.18517778]

AHHHH HOW DO PEOPLE STAND BEING A WAGIE. I WANT OUT!!!

[Anonymous No.18517782]

>>18507961
tinder is unironically a good option if you are in a big city. Also go to university libraries or cafès, somewhere were you can meet people in their 20s (assuming that's more or less your age), and start a conversation

[Anonymous No.18517784]

>>18517771
Sorry

[Anonymous No.18517788]

>>18517778
I know I can't do it. Maybe it's the crowd I hang out with but none of my peers can do it either. We're all university educated, high achievers etc. but having graduated into the white collar workforce a year or two ago we now all want to neck ourselves. Maybe it's true that our generation is weaker and more entitled? I feel like the 9-5 work day legitimately takes its toll on my physical health, let alone mental. Yet, my parents were able to do it? With that said, my dad would return home from work completely miserable and exhausted each night and sit in silence drinking beer in front of the TV... so maybe they didn't handle it so well...

[Anonymous No.18517818]

>>18517788
smoke heavily

[Anonymous No.18517823]

>>18517778
i have such a comfy job where i'm a receptionist and i'm alone with my computer all day and i just give people their keys and say hi to them and answer some e-mails but that's all, at the same time i'm working on my book and on my art and reading books about history of art and buddhism all day. i'm kinda underpaid (minimum wage) but i'm a lot happier than anyone who is paid more to do some shit they hate. it feels so good bros i'm lucky

[Anonymous No.18517831]

>>18517642
hahaha that's unironically amazing anon, we have actual clowns itt.

[Anonymous No.18517866]

Tiddies
Knockers
Butts
All the things I ought to be doing
Penis (feminine)

[Anonymous No.18517887]

>>18517866
>Penis (feminine)
i see a connoisseur... fine taste...

[Anonymous No.18517908]

>>18517818
one step ahead of ya anon

[Anonymous No.18517922]

>>18517887
a individual of supreme refinement, dignified culture, and good breeding

[Anonymous No.18517943]

>>18517583
It means some of their physiology is already recognized as more regularly influenced by gravity. If the influence of moon phases on menstrual cycles is gravitational, it would make sense considering the already present biological factors which make women more prone to effects of the earth's gravity.
It could however be driven by other factors than the moon's gravity, but the most likely cause given what we know about gravity's sharper effects on female biology is that the moon's gravity might influence menstrual cycles. There are potential other causes, but the facts that there's a significant correlation between menstrual and lunar cycles, and between birth sex and gravitational impacts are well demonstrated. Women are scientifically more connected to the effects of gravitational changes on earth and in space, and it would make far more sense that the moon has a similar gravitational effect which explains the lunar/menstrual cycle correlations than other possible explanations (such as magic, or even luminosity of the moon).

[Anonymous No.18518107]

>try online dating as a last resort
>all single mums
>'don't message me if you aren't 10 feet tall'
>not one single reply even from fat 2/10s
This is even worse than i thought, i thought all the shit you see on here while maybe true was exaggerated but if anything it's even worse

[Anonymous No.18518110]

>>18518107
Blame the apps desu not the women necessarily. I mean you can blame the women too if you want, but the apps are literally broken too.

[Anonymous No.18518142]

>>18518107
It changes your perception quite a bit when you realize women are literally flooded with replies no matter what, so they're naturally incentivized to reply only to the best of the best since at least one 8/10 or 9/10 guy responds usually. So don't think of it as a personal failure, or that you're unattractive, but rather that you weren't one of the hottest 2-3 guys who said something to her.

Any relatively smart person who ever uses a dating app soon realizes it was never meant to be this way. It totally fucks up the dynamic of actual dating, and trains us to constantly aim up and place a value on appearances above all else. Not to mention all the positive traits people have that online dating doesn't allow you to make use of, like how you carry yourself, which is the majority of human communication. It's easy to lose some self-esteem from these apps, but you have to remember - if no one contacts you, it's not because you're not good enough, but because you're not among the hottest upper echelon of guys who horde all the responses, because that's how this works in reality.

[Anonymous No.18518185]

>>18517943
you should never use dating apps. they are cancer. you do not determine attraction through pictures and texting, attraction is physiological thing. especially for a woman, she needs to see how you behave in front of her in real life to determine whether or not she is attracted to you. a woman could be very attracted to you if she met you personally, but not even look at your picture on a dating app. dating apps are bs.

[Anonymous No.18518194]

>>18518185
...I think you're misquoting because the moon magic anon was not that disconnected from the point, you probably want to re-reply to the dating app subthread. We're past bump limit so they might not see your advice but you could make it easier for them.

[Anonymous No.18518476]

>>18509611
The song of the damned, the choir of 4chan. Sometimes someone's balls drop, but the lyrics remain for the next generation to pick up.

Shame no one seems to learn from the pattern, but "Will the circle be unbroken?" is the song of another, much smaller choir.

[Anonymous No.18518514]

>>18518194
sorry i meant to reply to >>18518107 kek

[Anonymous No.18518651]

>>18518476
ywnbaw

[Anonymous No.18518694]

>>18516158
Luck? Me? Nah, thanks

[Anonymous No.18519682]

>>18518651
tanwoti

also

TG!