Quantcast
[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / g / ic / jp / lit / sci / tg / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports / report a bug ] [ 4plebs / archived.moe / rbt ]

Due to resource constraints, /g/ and /tg/ will no longer be archived or available. Other archivers continue to archive these boards.Become a Patron!

/lit/ - Literature


View post   

[ Toggle deleted replies ]
File: 3.65 MB, 3840x2160, FD4138F4-5353-462D-98D7-46F25006E47C.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18564557 No.18564557 [Reply] [Original]

>> No.18564607
File: 289 KB, 1049x681, 017.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18564607

What makes women insane? It's something that's been bothering me for a while now, but women, for whatever reason, are more prone to insanity. Is there a reason for it? Please, no /pol/ or incel answers.

>> No.18564638

>>18564607
This manga is hot garbage.

>> No.18564644

>>18564607
Everyone is insane.

>> No.18564655

>>18564607
They're not punished for it.

>> No.18564659

I'm struggling to understand what you're supposed to do once you realise that you're going to be alone for the rest of your life, that no one will ever love you.
I'm not sure what it's like to be a normal person but a part of me wonders if having a social life, having friends, having a romantic partner that you can build your life around really insulates you from a lot of the misery and sheer pointlessness of a lot of things in this world and so as someone who will never have a boyfriend I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do.
Books are basically the only way I've found but I feel the clock ticking as I lose my youth, not that I could ever really actuate that youth since as I said, I'm never going to have a boyfriend and I'll never be loved

>> No.18564665

>>18564557
I know I should be asleep right now, yet I'm not, why?

>> No.18564679

Holy SHIT, why didn't I buy it yesterday? why did the cunt raise the price overnight? regret is the worst fucking feeling, even over the small things

>> No.18564689

>>18564659
Why do you think you will never have a boyfriend?

>> No.18564724

>>18564659
Watch vtubers.
Faggot.

>> No.18564730

>>18564659
Also if this is meant to be a creative writing exercise women don't think this way.

>> No.18564762

>>18564730
Wym? He's probably a faggot

>> No.18564774

>>18564659
>I'm never going to have a boyfriend
LONDON

>> No.18564798
File: 108 KB, 500x496, 1558631711997.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18564798

>>18564659

>> No.18564823

>>18564557
I'm having increasingly suicidal thoughts. I don't want to die but these thoughts still plague my mind daily I struggle with this eternal a sense of hopelessness and despair, yet I persevere. I don't know what is to come from the future, but I know it is all but certain.

>> No.18564825

>>18564607
Speaking in generalities:

I think women can be just as reasonable as men but on a different timescale. They feel things first, and then work them out later, sometimes it takes weeks, maybe even years.
Women are front-loaded with retardation.
I think this is partly why older, post-menopausal women, can sometimes be incredibly incisive and is probably the root of the wise-woman archetype, women who have outlived their stupidity.

Men tend to go in to problem solving mode immediately, figure out how they feel about things later. This is where half the material for a midlife crisis comes from, unresolved emotional baggage that accumulates and surfaces all at once.

>> No.18564831

I don't enjoy my habits, but I would be so far behind whatever I started to do instead of them I don't think the change would be worth it.

>> No.18564837

>>18564689
I'm an ugly boring tranny with a masculine mind
>>18564724
Well I watch some and it does make me feel less lonely sometimes but then it also feels like a huge waste of time
>>18564730
No it's not, I'm being honest and it was on my mind (also I'm malebrained)
>>18564762
Yeah basically but I don't like
>he
>>18564774
I'm Australian sorry
>>18564798
Lol
Yeah I used to be into that stuff a long time ago, really does help make everything ok

>> No.18564860

>>18564837
So this is the average vtuber watcher, a man in a dress with nothing better to do than make generals on /lit/.

>> No.18564865

>>18564557
Twinks.

>> No.18564869

>>18564860
Well I'm wearing pants rn and never make general threads but ok
Last thread I made was asking for naval history rec's but nobody really responded

>> No.18564874

>>18564837
>boring tranny with a masculine mind
I don't mind that. In my opinion sex appeal isn't about the degree to which you are masculine or feminine. You don't even have to be conventionally attractive as long as you're not a freaking goblin. I'm sure you can find someone who's into you if you connect to your inner personal charm and find confidence. Meet people, go out. Enjoy yourself. There are plenty of bisexual guys with unconventional taste who'd be into you, I'm sure. Seriously.

>Yeah basically but I don't like he
My bad

>> No.18564880

>>18564865
<3

>> No.18564911

I was raised with three sisters and no brothers and I can very frequently feel the influence of it. On the one hand, women basically aren't a mystery to me at all. Women are not a big deal and I have no problem talking to them. It's made me a good boyfriend once or twice.

On the other hand, there are some traits and behaviors of men that I confess mystify me to this day, and which I don't really relate to. I don't understand why men aren't more precise, for example, and why they don't take better care of their appearance.

>> No.18564940

>>18564869
Not the anon you're responding to but you should check out Richard Dunn. He's got books like Finding Longitude; Ships, Clocks and Stars; and edited one called Navigational Enterprises in Europe and its Empires. They're all obviously about the navigation problems that the age of exploration started running into and how naval technology was built around those problems.

>> No.18564943

>>18564911
Social conditioning. I'm male and I take care of my appearance. Not in an obsessed fag way but it's important to look well-dressed/clean because it's sexually attractive on an unconscious level. Not just sexually attractive but it also unconsciously commands respect. Men back in the day used to look very dapper, but right basic things like paying attention to yourself are associated with femininity for some reason.

>> No.18564948

>>18564943
*but right now

>> No.18564955

>>18564825
to sum up your post in simpler terms, men have post-nut clarity and women have post-egg clarity. different timescales indeed

>> No.18564963

Anaemia is a bitch. My whole day is now both 100% more expensive, and 100% non productive.

>> No.18564976

>>18564607
Women are more influenced by emotional fluctuations.

>> No.18565005

I wonder what the world would be like without the internet. Would we be better off? Happier?

>> No.18565006
File: 160 KB, 898x507, 34230894777.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18565006

>>18564557
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1NE99Vp574

<3 guys... this is my jam <3

I think I'm in love

>> No.18565008
File: 81 KB, 500x559, I want to be by your side.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18565008

>> No.18565014
File: 62 KB, 320x237, 111111111.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18565014

>> No.18565022
File: 74 KB, 564x1020, 766-7667803.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18565022

this is the last pic I will share

just wanna let you guys know, this is my waifu

everything about her is perfect

I'm out <3

>> No.18565034

>>18565005
hmmmmmm
i certainly wouldn't

>> No.18565036

>>18564607
Women are more resource poverty aware and more normal. They tend to have food gathering roles which require a constantly rich environment and constant availability (gathering) while men tend to have more intermittent food hunting roles, which rely on more occasional but larger windfalls. Women will notice the start of famine sooner, or the diminishing of resources sooner. If you are given food tokens every meal and then one meal time someone says "no more meal tokens, you're on your own", you're going to get a much more immediate kind of stress than it you are given food tokens which last a month and half way through a month someone says that maybe next month the free food might stop. Women are primed to notice more of the first kind of stress, and to develop anxiety about the future if the environment is not resource rich enough to ensure survival of kids. (This also explains nesting and cleaning because those are ways of preserving a safe and resourceful environment.)
They're also highly aware of competition and lack of points of difference. This is why women have far more status anxiety, much like the middle class has much more status anxiety. Because women are more likely to cleave to norms in general, to be special enough to be a pick-me, they need to develop point of difference. How PUAs talk about peacocking is very similar to how women attempt to make themselves different enough they might attract a mate who otherwise would consider them the same as any other hole. Men usually complain a woman is crazy and taking all their resources by being time and money consuming and fail to figure out that is a survival strategy. Men only need to hunt a few days a month at most, and that's with poor resources. The other days of the month, women need to find a way of locking down those resources so he doesn't start feeding two gfs instead of feeding one gf and two kids.

>> No.18565057

>>18565005
We'd be better off without the constant indulgence of social media. I miss the wild west days.

>> No.18565059

I feel so guilty about it for some reason.

>> No.18565075
File: 6 KB, 299x168, images.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18565075

>>18565057
yee, the good ol' wild west

peng, peng

>> No.18565084

>>18565022
weebs to the gulag

>> No.18565086 [DELETED] 
File: 262 KB, 1024x768, yes.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18565086

>> No.18565105

>>18564874
>There are plenty of bisexual guys with unconventional taste who'd be into you, I'm sure. Seriously
I hope so :(
I'm just too afraid to try but sometimes I think about it and hope...
Also I meant more romantic appeal rather than sexual appeal, I'm worried that I'd make a guy feel really gay being with me because of my personality and interests, being treated 'like a bro' is awful for me
>>18564940
Thanks anon, I'll check them out

>> No.18565113
File: 106 KB, 400x400, 20210630_031241.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18565113

>>18564557
>3 years in love with a guy friend (t. fem)
>don't want to confess
>I write letters every day but don't plan to mail them to him
>tfw my words will never reach him
I am GOING crazy, OP. AAAWAAAWWAAWWAH

>> No.18565120

>>18565113
why dont confess?

>> No.18565126

>>18565006
ohh and btw, if you don't hear this track then u will have 7 years of bad luck

>> No.18565129

>>18564557
Going in for therapy tomorrow. What're the signs that I should try for a different shrink? If they start off the bat with meds? It's a male psychologist, I don't want to get committed bros.

>> No.18565134

>>18565120
Not her but males often get automatically turned off when a woman confesses or flirts too hard. Plus I imagine she's shy.

>> No.18565136
File: 406 KB, 2024x1572, 1589740419154.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18565136

I almost resent my family for being the only reason I bother staying alive.

>> No.18565157

>>18565105
Romantic appeal comes with sex appeal, or rather, sex appeal is the first step to romantic appeal. If someone is sexually attracted to you, you can turn your relationship into a romantic one if you act right. Use your charisma.
For the second part of your post, I get what you mean but imo you overthink this. If he wants you sexually and romantically he won't treat you "like a bro", whether you're malebrained or not it doesn't matter, he will behave as your romantic partner. I've been with men/women who were extremely masculine/tomboyish in their behavior but it didn't kill the romanticism, because I was in love with them, wanted to fuck them and be with them. Just talk about it before getting into a relationship, act romantically and you're good. PS. If he feels "too gay" for being with you and it bothers him he is the kind of insecure bitch you don't need in your life.

>> No.18565173

>>18565113
touch his penis

>> No.18565180
File: 101 KB, 640x960, LUCY.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18565180

>>18565006
>>18565008
>>18565014
>>18565022
guys, it's me again & I'm back with another HOT track

EVERYBODY NEEDS IT, EVERYBODY WANTS IT

COCAINE MAKES U GO INSANE

SAY NO TO DRUGS <3

>> No.18565190

>>18565180
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgNMCwGBKTE

I FORGOT THE TRACK

>> No.18565204

realize how important say thing good is
not matter if big smart know truth but bad talk cus small dumb good talk win
good talk win more than truth on own
warrior of truth must good talk
sacred duty take serious

>> No.18565207

>>18565204
mmm make good listen poets. they are real rule maker in world, but nobody say so because busy listen poets.

>> No.18565212

>>18565204
>>18565207
The Keats and Shelley zombies have not come out right.

>> No.18565218

>>18565006
>>18565008
>>18565014
>>18565022
>>18565180
>>18565190
ANOTHER ONE MY G'S

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKLdMRRQNjE

EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE ALRIGHT

>> No.18565245

>>18565136
That is a nice sea. Did you go there?

>> No.18565249

reading the malcolm x chaper where he's planning out what he will do on his next Hajj and I'm thinking "yeah, about that..."

>> No.18565266

>>18565157
Hmm, thanks for the nice response
I'm probably going to stop baiting hatred on /lit/ from now on but I appreciate what you said :(
I hope everything will be ok

>> No.18565279
File: 118 KB, 1200x900, gottem.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18565279

I dont know whether the weather will change.

>> No.18565304

>>18565266
My pleasure, I hope so too. Good luck!

>> No.18565331

there are two wolves inside me...
one is gay...
the other is gay...

>> No.18565332

I feel as if I'm too comfortable spending time with myself. I repeatedly push away women that I'm interested in and who are evidently interested in me after just a few weeks because my attraction towards isolation exudes apathy, even when I feel quite the opposite. I don't see how I can balance the two desires, and I don't see how I can live without either one.

>> No.18565342

>>18565332
I remember reading about some Scandinavian chef that lived in small island house on a lake, and his family lived in another house just across the shore.
That is what I am aiming for.

>> No.18565427

>>18565332
I can’t sympathize because women are interested in you.

>> No.18565433

>>18565113
You don’t actually write letters every single day. That’s over a thousand letters.

>> No.18565484
File: 25 KB, 399x299, 123.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18565484

>>18565332
a quick remainder that posts like this and shit that makes u feel uncomfortable is just some low quality bait and it's kinda obvious.

my thesis:
I think this side is made up of the oppressors and the oppressed. Some write a small, trivial text about everyday things and trigger any young or ignorant people who fall for it and can identify with it. The others secretly laugh at you. This is going on here. Therefore it is an endless cycle that never ends, because the weak fall for it every time and think they are writing to someone who feels something like empathy and understanding for their weaknesses. But the truth is you are only getting ripped off.

And honestly, I'm really sorry for you guys. How many psychopaths do you think there are in the world who are comfortably seated at home / at work, who are well, and just do so for fun / boredom. Who only do this to somehow satisfy their lower urges.

Think about it, Bros. I've always been by your side. But at some point you just get too grown up for it.

Honestly, as if there was nothing more important in my life than a girl, it's stupid to write about it on the internet. Pretty absurd, but of course it's clear that younger people fall for it.

>> No.18565493

I just can't write poetry, whenever I feel like a have an idea worth exploring, I just blank out trying to make it happen

>> No.18565505

>>18565484
what

>> No.18565535

>>18565484
>>18565505
What I mean by that is: don't let something like that trigger you with thoughts like "That's right, he's right. What am I doing here?" but believe a little in yourself. You shouldn't make yourself smaller than you are, but strive for something better and bigger. you should feel comfortable in your skin. and if being alone means "feeling good" for you, then don't bother yourself about it, just enjoy it. nowadays they all blame themselves for every little shit. it cannot go on like this and you have to change something about it. you have to finally start to believe in yourself and have confidence in yourself.

And I'm really tired of saying it over and over again. (Maybe that's the reason why it seems so unrealistic to me now. So that I am already imagining scenarios in my head to be able to understand how one can actually be so naive / or how one can be so difficult to understand.)

PZ

>> No.18565538

My half-read copy of Infinite Jest is lost somewhere in my room.

>> No.18565560

>>18565484
>>18565505
>>18565535
or even shorter: because it's so absurd, I think most of the posts are bait. that is my perspective on things.

I think it's the only right attitude if you want to get ahead in life. To just see it as bait and prefer to focus on your own goals instead of being unsettled by something like that.

that is also the reason why you should rather leave this page.

I'm not here every day and nobody should.

>> No.18565601

>>18564831
If you died tomorrow, next week, next month, or even a year from now your progress will be permanently stopped and you will have lived your life performing habits you don’t like towards a goal you didn’t achieve. What’s the point in that.

>> No.18565620

>>18565136
If you really did resent them for keeping you from suicide they wouldn’t be able to keep you from suicide. Either you don’t actually resent them or you don’t really want to die. I suspect it’s both.

>> No.18565630

>>18565245
I would like to. Sadly not.
>>18565620
key word you missed was almost.

>> No.18565647

>>18565493
How’s your vocabulary? I have the same problem and it feels like it’s down to not having the right words readily available when the feeling strikes. When I go and look something up it pulls me out of the moment and kills whatever could be good about the poem, losing the meaning in the act. I’m trying to rectify this through studying the masters and learning new words every day which I go over periodically over weeks.

>> No.18565669

>>18565630
I almost fuck my boyfriend when we sleep next to each other at night. What difference does it make. You either resent or you don’t. Basically what your saying in your first post is “my family is the only thing keeping me from suicide.” So? Do you think you should be greatfull to them for that or something?

>> No.18565675

>>18565669
No, I resent them for that.

>> No.18565692

>>18565675
I don’t think you actually do. I think you see death as a path away from what you are currently experiencing. A better option. Am I right about that?

>> No.18565694

>>18565538
somewhere? you can't find it? are you a hoarder?

>> No.18565700

Elfenliedfag is a false flag.

>> No.18565717

>>18565692
Yeah.

>> No.18565746

>>18565717
And you don’t see any other options right? You are trapped and the only semi decent thing about your life is that, at the very least, your family doesn’t have to confront a life in which you died? (Maybe there are other good things but I ain’t gonna make you go into detail. At the very least that is one of the good things about your existence?)

>> No.18565751

>>18565746
Yeah you're pretty good at this.

>> No.18565764

>>18565560
You underestimate the gravity of how big some of the losers are here.

>> No.18565792

>>18565751
Why are you concerned about how your death would impact your family? Do you think they would be sad? That it would bring them misery to experience your untimely loss? Are you taking care of them in some way? Do they need you to reach some end?

>> No.18565796

>>18565792
It would destroy my father and leave my brother pretty much alone in the world. I can't do that to them.

>> No.18565842

dont understand this vaccine fucking garbage. been ignoring this covid shit since it started because i dont socialise much anyway, well i am back in my home town for the summer and met this friend from long ago and the first question he asks if i got the vaccine and i told him not even bothering to look it up cause it doesnt interest me. well he goes on to babble about how everything metal is sticking to him and that he hears 5g now sinxe he got his second jab mocking me with this type of nutt shit I seriously have had no fucking clue what he was talking bout but i understood he was mocking me what a fucking faggot. theyre literally become like caricatures of themselves i dont understand society

>> No.18565847

>>18565796
Ok so you are important as a support to your brother and your father loves you enough to see inherent value in your existence (I can tell you right now that not all do, good for you). Switching gears a bit for one last question, would you consider yourself a rational person? By the way you talk about your brother it seams to me that you at least view yourself as someone sturdy enough to support others in hard times so you at least view yourself as a bit stable.

>> No.18565854

>>18565847
Yeah I suppose I would consider myself a rational person. I have to force it but yeah

>> No.18565877

>>18565505
you're clearly talking to a schizo, don't give it (you)s. enough schizoposting in these threads as is

>> No.18565948

I'm in the toilet at work taking a break from the screen

>> No.18565956

>>18565854
I think a lot of us do to some extent. So you acknowledge that your father loves you enough to see inherent value in your being and that you yourself have value as a support for your brother. What’s more is that you yourself view these as good things in your life. Your situation however is not pleasant and you view these good things in your life as what keeps you from taking the only way out. Understandable. However I think you came to the wrong conclusion. I think you feel resentment surely. But I think it’s rightful aim is at your situation and not your family. And I think you do too, since you acknowledge the positive influence of your family in your life. But because a situation is something at the same time ephemeral and complex, with many moving parts, in your frustration with trying to pin it down and deal with your situation, you aimed in the direction of something more concrete. The effect that your death would have on your family. Would you say this is a reasonable conclusion for me to come to?

>> No.18565964
File: 15 KB, 300x306, Mary_Barnard.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18565964

>tfw no Mary Barnard gf

>> No.18565967

>>18565956
Yeah. I think so. I don't want to monopolise your time man, I appreciate you talking me through this. I get what you're aiming at. The frustration should be aimed at changing things not escaping things. Thank you.

>> No.18566006
File: 1.22 MB, 400x400, RandomPoints.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18566006

>>18565877
You want to downgrade me with this expression, but instead I'll give you some new words for your vocabulary so that you can learn something for once too. Schitzo is so worn out by now.

I don't need to mention that I'm not a Schitzo at this point, you will probably figure it out yourself.

So let's get started.

>Apophenia

is the tendency to perceive meaningful connections between unrelated things.[1] The term (German: Apophänie) was coined by psychiatrist Klaus Conrad in his 1958 publication on the beginning stages of schizophrenia.[2] He defined it as "unmotivated seeing of connections [accompanied by] a specific feeling of abnormal meaningfulness".[3][4] He described the early stages of delusional thought as self-referential, over-interpretations of actual sensory perceptions, as opposed to hallucinations.[1][5]

Apophenia has come to imply a human propensity to seek patterns in random information, such as gambling.

>Clustering illusion

The clustering illusion is the tendency to erroneously consider the inevitable "streaks" or "clusters" arising in small samples from random distributions to be non-random. The illusion is caused by a human tendency to underpredict the amount of variability likely to appear in a small sample of random or semi-random data.

"Up to 10,000 points randomly distributed inside a square with apparent "clumps" or clusters"

That's it, I hope you enjoyed it and we'll see you next time.

>> No.18566034

where can I go online to ogle thick asian goth cuties for free, I'm missing my ex something fierce.

>> No.18566040

>>18565967
Oh no problem. I’m just trying to make sure that you don’t pile feeling guilty about resenting your loved ones for making you feel life is worth living onto the other shit you are dealing with. I’m not sure what the solution to your predicament is but it’s certainly not guilt. I will say this, it is unlikely that there isn’t another way out of your situation. Shit there is a lady in New York City that vomits food coloring onto canvas and sells it as art. Who the fuck thinks of that? You just gotta keep looking for your way.

>> No.18566048

Thereafter proceeding first to the Upper Brighton and now to the cooperative Back
Bay-edge brownstone she had lived in once with Orin and performed in with his father
and then passed on to Molly Notkin, today's party's guest of honor and hostess in one,
as of yesterday enjoying A.B.D. pre-doctoral status in Film & Film-Cartridge Theory at
M.I.T., having cleared the notorious hurdle of Oral Examinations on that day by offering
her examination committee a dramatically rendered and if she did say so herself
devastating oral critique of post-millennial Marxist Film-Cartridge Theory from the point
of view of Marx himself, Marx as pretend-film-cartridge theorist and scholar. Still
dressed as K.M. a day later, in celebration — the glued beard matted and pubic-black,
Homburg ordered direct from Wiesbaden, soot from a terribly obscure British souvenir-
filth shop — she has no idea that Joelle's been in a cage since Y.T.S.D.B., has no idea
what she and Jim Incandenza were even about for twenty-one months, whether they
were lovers or what, whether Orin left because they were lovers or what, 80 or that
Joelle even now lives hand-to-lung on a grossly generous trust willed her by a man she
unveiled for but never slept with, the prodigious punter's father, infinite jester, director
of a final opus so magnum he'd claimed to have had it locked away.

>> No.18566142
File: 76 KB, 802x803, 1622451957538.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18566142

I worked for 2 months at a marketing agency and it was gayer than gay sex.

The CEO was a stupid white Karen who got pregant like a little bitch. She pumped out a baby like a unit. Then she kept post pictures of her gay fucking baby on Slack. Like bitch, nobody wants to see your gay fucking baby, it looks like an old man!

>> No.18566161

>>18564557
There are 0 reasons for marriage to exist as an institution anymore.

>> No.18566169

>>18566161
Never was

>> No.18566254

>>18565964
Those kind of girls usually have the most degenerate fetishes

>> No.18566365

>>18566254
That's why, my friend.

>> No.18566375

I'm thinking about making an account on fetlife

>> No.18566726

>first day of new work after 2 years of doing nothing
>already want to off myself

I just wonder how long I'll endure.

>> No.18566738

>>18564557
I just had a dream where I had written a 500 page epic of the most depraved fetish porn ever. Everyone is flipping through it going "oh my god, this is disgusting! What is this?" while I'm trying to keep them away.

wake up frustrated and jealous that dream me managed to write a full manuscript.

>> No.18566761

>>18564607
I don't know, what makes men equate any kind of physical or emotional adequacy with violence and abuse?

>> No.18566762

>>18564557
I walked down the street today while working and a cute young woman was walking her dog. I looked at her and she smiled at me. I smiled back.

Is this it boys? Am I gonna finally get some?

>> No.18566766

>>18564798
goddammit, he really was right, wasn't he

>> No.18566767

>>18566726
I wish I was you.
t. NEET for 2 years

>> No.18566770
File: 42 KB, 549x600, 1624607693825.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18566770

>>18566762
I forgot muh pic. Its an imageboard after all. Gotta give a pic with a post. I respect the spirit over here

>> No.18566776

>>18566375
That's a wild ride that's worth buying a ticket for.

>> No.18566777

>>18566762
>>18566770
no, because I'm going to seduce her, first. what a woman.

>> No.18566797
File: 1.46 MB, 1018x728, 1466156502697.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18566797

Hell is other people is becoming truer everyday.

>> No.18566802

>>18566777
>Trips of Truth
A good omen Anon

>> No.18566816

>>18566726
It gets better anonymous poster trust me

>> No.18566824

It’s weird how you can ‘feel’ when a computer is being slow, even when doing something minute. Even before loading bars and wheels pop up, the mouse stutters and clicks don’t react and you can feel it trying it’s best like an old car up a hill. It’s just weird.

>> No.18566836

>>18565136
I can sympathize with the feeling.

>> No.18566892

Is the Butterfly that goes by the tripcode of !!bGBGaUpA8kS the real butterfly? I've recognize her posts long before I took a break from this board, but these recent "butterfly" posts has been unlike her, so unfeminine and abhorrent as to be intentionally provocative. The old butterfly was controversial, yeah, but she never took time off her day to take a dump on your or your identity and sounding gross in the process.

>> No.18566926

>>18566892
Butterfly hasn't been butterfly since she got tired of our shit and went to live with her gf. All butterflies after that have been attention seeking trannies.

>> No.18566927
File: 49 KB, 680x374, 1624072723969.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18566927

>>18566777
Come on anon, don't be like that to me. She was fine but not that pretty but smiling at a young and handsome fella like me is a sign she is not a bratty bitch and interessted in ME.

>> No.18567015

>>18564607
incel spotted

>> No.18567024

>>18566824
I 100% know just what you mean. I've used the same computer for maybe seventeen years, all possibilities of updates died years back, and I know its moods so well it feels just as organic and emotional as the rest of my family. It has wants and preferences and hates certain things, needs enough hours of down time every day or it gets grouchy and headachy as hell, it almost purrs at me on good days when I'm absurdly nice to it, it resents when its feverish because of the weather and I still ask it to do things and often stubbornly hunkers down and stops all together until I relent and give it a pet and an nice ice pack.
I should find a computer that's made of nuts and bolts.

>> No.18567047

>>18565036
That makes sense. So basically women are parasites if I understand you corectly?

>> No.18567061

I’ve let all my high school and college friends fall by the way side. But what was I supposed to do? We have next to nothing in common anymore. We don’t even live in the same regions.

>> No.18567111
File: 670 KB, 960x720, 1614120971353.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18567111

I lost my virginity to a hooker about a year ago. It was underwhelming and I felt very out of it during the whole thing, but the thought alone that I was finally fucking a woman made it a good experience overall.
I went back to another whore this evening (left her apartment thirty minutes ago) and it was probably the most disappointing thing I've ever done in my life.

The first time I thought "hey, I can't cum and I feel out of it but that's just because it's my first time and I'm anxious." I was wrong; this time it was even worse, and I barely had more anxiety than usual.
I literally felt nothing. Touching her, fucking her, I'm not even exaggerating when I say that a simple walk in the park would've brought me vastly more pleasure. I even asked her to cater to my fetishes and it was the same: nothing, no pleasure, no sensation.
I ended up jacking off into a condom while holding her body against mine, then laying down with her for a bit, before fucking off thirty minutes early.

Now I'm back alone at my apartment eating a sandwich and about to watch a movie, I don't even feel an afterglow, I already forgot what she looked like, this experience was less than nothing. It was as mundane as taking a shit except my shits don't usually make me feel so puzzled.
I'm not asexual or any of that tumblr garbage, I jack off and have a normal sex drive. Maybe real sex just isn't my thing? I've given up on "real" women a long time ago, and I thought this could be a decent alternative, but masturbation is a dozen times better.

I wonder what's wrong with me though, it's not like she was ugly or that I care about having a "connection" or whatever, it had nothing to do with all that, it just felt like nothing from start to finish.
I can still smell her perfume on me and it feels unpleasant. What a waste of money, I learned my lesson I suppose.

>> No.18567130

What the hell kind of author spends most of his days replying to anonymous randoms on an anime imageboard? This is just procrastination.

>> No.18567133

>>18564557
i think i'd be a lot happier if i had fetal alcohol syndrome

>> No.18567151

>>18567024
This is kino

>> No.18567163

>>18567061
The you at the end of your journey will always be thankful of the cleansing flames that had rolled through the forest of your life, for they are what cleared and illuminated the path you were destined to take. If you refuse to initiate a controlled burn for fear of having to move on, the dead wood will stack up, and when destiny sparks a flame for you, you risk perishing in a hell of your own design.

>> No.18567209

>>18567111
You could have PIED and death grip syndrome.

>> No.18567213
File: 52 KB, 640x466, stf98_Leyline_of_Anticipation.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18567213

>> No.18567232

>>18567209
Maybe, but I should've at least felt something. I'm not gonna try to find out either way, I'm angry at myself for wasting money on this. From now on I'll own the solitude instead of trying to find copes.

>> No.18567302
File: 1.26 MB, 1647x2240, Sigmund_Freud,_by_Max_Halberstadt_(cropped).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18567302

>>18567111
Sounds like some repressed homosexuality.

>> No.18567307

>>18567302
Nah, that much I'm sure of.

>> No.18567313

>>18564557
trannies might be dumber than niggers. need to fact check it. not today tho.

>> No.18567330

>>18564557
Just woke a up a little while ago. Early morning of day 2 of my period. Irregular af, first period in 2.5 months. Irl cramps insert into dream as pregnancy, labor pains. Have to poop but don't want to poop the baby into the toilet so I walk around in the dream backing people into corners, telling them I don't want to have a miscarriage. I think about how recently I last drank. Would I be able to give a FAS baby up for adoption? Probably would just keep it. I instagram my baby bump, which looks a little small. Never found out the sex. Everything seems to be going to plan, the baby will be born soon.
...
wake up from dream
feel kind of melancholy because the dream baby wasn't real
go to bathroom, take the biggest period poop ever seen, it's a massive slippery pile of soft-serve shit towering out of the dark red water, already has flies circling the summit. close the lid to flush
now lying on the couch all day with a towel under my ass. pretty glad I don't have a kid I guess, would like them one day though.

>> No.18567342

>>18564557
"Keep quiet, cantankerous fool." said Gifford. Gifford was a prized ox, gifted by the late sheriff of R_ to the venerable farmer of Convington Fields. "You have done nothing but tickle my temper,but since I am honorable and since I am not pugnacious like that of my great father, I would allow you to grace the fields one last time...that is until I hark your ominous tunes again."

"B-b-but, sir. I have been told. Longhorns told me, he saw th-."

"Enough." replied Gifford. Angered by the calf's pleas, he pondered on the thought of a good butting. But he reiterated, fearing injury to the prodigy that was Dunlop. "My child, have I not warned you about your rash endeavors ? Have I not bargained, begged? Do you remember the last time you brought up such ghastly tirades, at the time of the great escapade of Tessa? The time the poor sow, Belle, left her mother and crashed into the fence? It brought great shame upon me."

Dunlop unceremoniously returned to his cushy habitat under the apple tree the farmer planted, or that's what Dunlop thought since nobody had bothered to elucidate on the origins of the tree. He continued to watch the leaves. The luscious green, reminiscent of his time with his mother, galloping on open courses until he was too tired to do so. Adjacent to the leaf was an apple, and as he stared at it, he chewed over the subject of its creation. The purpose of the sweetness, the smoothness of the skin, th-

"Hey Dunlop." Now came Ruby, a sultry cow.

"What now?"

"You know...what we always do."

"Longhorns told me otherwise." replied an irascible Dunlop. "I told you, the farmer doesn't care about you, he never did. Your sister Abigail? She did not run away, she was sent."

"Sent where?" solemnly replied Ruby.

"Sent to the butchers, you stupid whore. Do you not understand the words of my musings?"

>> No.18567348

>>18564659
welcome to the ffucvking club

>> No.18567352

>>18567342
"What butchers?" The very moment she sprayed her words, Dunlop noticed the crows fly towards the depression in the field. "Dark wings, dark words," thought the bull. As he leaped down to catch a better look at the cacophony the birds were making, he stood still at a horrific sight. Gifford lay dead, surrounding him were his harem of vapid cows, as Dunlop referred to them as.

It was at this moment that Dunlop knew, that there was no point in warning the cows for now and the future. He was the stud of this farm now, and if he stopped inseminating the poor girls with his seed, he would be on the truck to the butchers next. All the teachings of Longhorn were futile and the continuous exercise of his mind was useless. Just like how the birth of the tree was to provide fruit to the farm, his was to suck and fuck.

>> No.18567354

I have no idea how to go about finding I could get along with well enough we could become something to each other, hold importance in each other's lives, no matter the relationship attached. I have build friendships, or rather, they just fell in my lap without me putting in the work, and I always let them slide. I have had romantic relationships too, and liked them enough to be vulnerable with them and see something special when I feel so detached from most people I come across both online/in person, feel so specific about everything I like and want in someone I invite into my life. But mostly I just feel lonely and unhappy in those relationships because they don't give me what I need in one way or another. I don't know what I am doing wrong and it feels fucking hopeless sometimes. I can be likeable once someone knows me, but am often described as intimidating or cold when not. The world doesn't seem build for me, not even the internet world

>> No.18567361

>>18565136
that excuse for not killing yourself won't last much longer. its really no excuse at all.

>> No.18567449

>>18567342
>since I am not pugnacious like that of my great father
stopped reading there, how hard could it be to proofread your own shit before you post it

>> No.18567467

My dad is about 60. he's actually in pretty good shape for his age. He works out more than I do. But his age is starting to worry me. I had a dream he was hobbling around on a cane. Scared me desu

>> No.18567530

>>18567111
You need someone who loves you, not some random whore

>> No.18567554

>>18567530
I need to learn to disregard women entirely. I turned to whores precisely because I wanted to have nothing to do with dating and flirting and all that bullshit.

>> No.18567559

>>18567047
No, they'll eat well even if you're not there. Parasites don't do that.

>> No.18567678

I'm day dreaming about having a gf who wants tto drive around all day singing cringe post hardcore songs with me. But then I realize i'm getting too old to do such adolescent shenanigans.

>> No.18567715

>>18565006
dis some real adult music

>>18565190
damn, that's something charlie sheen would listen to

>> No.18567718

I’m going to be telling a lie later today and I’m really fucking nervous about it.

>> No.18567721

>>18567718
asshole

>> No.18567722

>>18567718
dubs and you won't tell it

>> No.18567731
File: 24 KB, 300x366, checkemTime.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18567731

>>18567722

>> No.18567823

>>18567559
>they'll eat well even if you're not there
Exactly eat like a parasite a other body if its not me.

>> No.18567839
File: 29 KB, 396x396, 1624685231690.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18567839

I'm a driver I'm a winner things are gonna change I can feel it. I'm at a semi-familiar point in my life, internally, re: myself, where I don't feel resentment or anger or whatever, but there's the recognition that now is the time for a change. I can feel it's real and I'm gonna make it. Whenever I've had this sort of vibeology present in the past (harr harr) it's been a fairly reliable predictor of change. You know the feeling of being on some sort of precipice or threshold? Nothing drastic has happened, didn't last time either. What is it that puts us 'over the edge', as it were?

>>18564955
>men have post-nut clarity and women have post-egg clarity
Straight up that's the best sentence I've read on here in a minute.

>> No.18568049
File: 262 KB, 480x480, giphy.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18568049

>tfw you're finally stable enough that you can start tackling your psychological problems rather than just get by and cope
>tfw you realize getting stable enough to do this was probably about half the work
>there's a whole nother half left to do that is actually going to be about confronting pain, something you didn't really have to do in this sense when you were coping (unless you cound the pain of hopelessness)

>> No.18568127

>>18567823
If you believe yourself to be foraged food, or that you're about to be orpheused by some wild women, sure. But thinking either of those things makes you more delusional than the furverts who think they really are ponies.

>> No.18568173

>>18568127
>>18568049
>>18567839
>>18567823
>>18567731
>>18567722
Go outside

>> No.18568192

>>18568173
ditto

>> No.18568194

How much karma do you guys have on Reddit?

>> No.18568211

>>18568194
How would you measure karma from Reddit? Is this a carbon footprint thing? I think a lot of sites publish that now but I don't know where you'd get it if it's not estimated by their website or some environmental group.

>> No.18568237

There is only one experience. That is common to all perspectives. I am experiencing exactly what God wants to experience which is to forget his true nature and remember it and remember why he made himself forget who he was in the first place. I've been having many hypnagogic visions recently of being eaten alive in various past/present lives.

>> No.18568265

Is it better to be stronger/rational and survive the best or to be weaker/emotional and survive poorly?

>> No.18568274

>>18568265
No such thing

>> No.18568276

>>18568265
you should be flushed down the toilet, that would be better

>> No.18568280

>>18568173
I'm outside right now

>> No.18568287

>>18568274
What?
>>18568276
Ok

>> No.18568292

>>18568280
RUN

>> No.18568301
File: 283 KB, 600x450, malt shop idk.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18568301

I wanna to go back.

I want to go back to the era of post war prosperity in America. I want gasoline to be ridicuously cheap, I want music to rock and roll and have soul again. I want cars to actually have soul, where there were actually color choices, instead of the drab black, whites and plain red. I want a pre 9/11 era without the patriot act where we weren't spyed on 24/7. I want women back in the kitchen and I want men to be working. I want a college education that I can pay for with a summer job. I want our history back. I want integrity in our leaders, I want a Kennedy, an Eisenhower, a Truman not a Biden, a Trump or an Obama. Finally, I want America's pride back.

I want to go back.

>inb4 go back to /pol/ inb4 boomer

https://youtu.be/2kHLZZGmbkk

>> No.18568304

>>18568280
>browsing 4chan outside
Yikers

>> No.18568306
File: 25 KB, 655x609, Dune.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18568306

Should I get a hardback copy of Dune?
it looked beautiful

>> No.18568313

>>18568301
Sorry buddy America's dead and over. Maybe instead of driving colorful cars and listening to soulful rock you should've made sure jews don't take over your entire infrastructure. Retards

>> No.18568320

>>18568301
retard
look at you, a fucking weakling wishing he was born in an age forged by stronger man
Either pick up the mantle and forge a future you want to be a part of, or sit down and shut up and endure the world you created for yourself

>> No.18568322

>>18568301
We can only keep going forward. We will never return to what was. It's our generations duty to shoulder the burden hoisted onto us in hopes that we can make things better

>> No.18568340

>>18568313
>>18568320
>>18568322
I've already taken the black pill, there's no way we will be able to rebuild or top the 1950s. Music is tainted, culture is tainted, the food we eat is tainted, everything is tainted.

>> No.18568372

>>18568340
The Cycle has not been broken, you deserve no sympathy
Hard times will pass, and the a world will be forged by the next to come, one not made for you but for a generation, a demographic that actually deserves it.
You, on the other hand will get nothing, all you know how to do is complain, and complain you will, and at the end of the day when you've wasted all your energy and have done nothing productive you'll curl up in yourself and eat your own shit and die in the gutter like the maggot you are.

>> No.18568375

>>18564557
sometimes I come on here and act really mean and many times i feel bad about it later

>> No.18568382

>>18568372
Lol and what the fuck are you doing about it

>> No.18568394

>>18568372
What do you recommend I do then?

>> No.18568395

>>18568382
Nothing, because you and I don't live in the same world

>> No.18568402

>>18568382
I'm going pound your tight little ass

>> No.18568406

>>18568372
chill dude

>> No.18568461

>>18568395
Yeah you live in a cartoon

>> No.18568465

>>18568461
if that makes you feel better about you wallowing in your own excrement, then sure

>> No.18568470

>>18568237
So... You like Hegel?

>> No.18568529

Well I told my old friend that I wouldn’t be coming to his wedding. It’s across the damn country so I figured he’d understand but he sounded pissed off, almost mocking. He repeated what I said with like exaggeration. I didn’t want to hurt the guy’s feelings or anything. That was uncomfortable.

>> No.18568534

>>18568529
anon...

>> No.18568563

Do any of you guys who read visual novels know if their literary equivalents are better? For instance Umineko is directly inspired by "And Then There Were None", and a lot of great visual novels are in the sci-fi/mystery/thriller genre. Do you think their literary equivalents are better? I would assume so but outside of Agatha Christie and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, I don't know any genuinely good stuff to check out.

>> No.18568577

>>18568529
Tell him to go fuck himself with his whore wife that's most likely already sucking other cocks then see if he still mocks you

>> No.18568592

>>18568534
Yes?

>> No.18568610

>>18568592
it's your friend experiencing arguably one of the most important moments of his life, and he wanted you to be there, to share that joy with him
and you just told him inadvertently that you don't think that one of the most important experiences in his life is worth the trouble of a cross-country trip...

>> No.18568638

>>18568529
god I hate weddings, social status rituals, having to pay respect to retarded boomers because ???, forced to pay tribute with gifts and cash, listing to women gossip, critique and rank everything. Back in the day it made sense, you had a feast, got drunk and fucked your cousins, nowadays it's all about snide, humble bragging and one upping each other, so tiresome, just send them a toaster and be done with it

>> No.18568649
File: 217 KB, 1000x1000, 1622946961121.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18568649

>>18568610
marriage is the biggest cuck of that man's life. imagine binding yourself to a toxic cum dumpster of a woman and then begging all your friends to come to the gay ceremony. any man who marries in the 21st century is a KEK and he's also a FAGGOT if he tries to get his friends to validate his shitty decision by coming to the wedding.

>> No.18568663

>>18568638
>Back in the day it made sense, you had a feast, got drunk and fucked your cousins
>fucked your cousins
What the fuck

>> No.18568670

>>18568610
Anon, it’s a bit of a tall ask, don’t you think? First of all, he and I have barely spoken since we graduated 5 years ago. We’ve seen each other or spoken maybe once a year and not at all last year. It’s all the way across the country and might as well be a destination wedding on a holiday weekend. I’d be running at least $1k just for plane tickets, hotel, rentals not even including the wedding gift. And if I’m being honest, he was never all that great a friend to me. In fact, the one or two times I could’ve used him to have my back he was nowhere to be found. I really don’t think it’s that ridiculous to decline.

>> No.18568678

Guys, I shouldn’t feel bad for not going to the wedding right? I mean I do feel bad now but logically, I don’t think I should.

>> No.18568680

4chan is retarded and the whole hour I've just spend looking at it after not having done so in years makes me wish I left my nostalgia as is. I am disgusted and will go back to reading immediately.

>> No.18568685

>>18568680
Cya tomorrow

>> No.18568688
File: 405 KB, 866x603, Capture.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18568688

>>18568680

>> No.18568689

>>18568670
well, if you think you're making the right choice then who am I to say anything
I flew to japan for one of my friend's wedding and had a blast, but then again, we were pretty close

>> No.18568695

>>18568610
>you just told him inadvertently that you don't think that one of the most important experiences in his life is worth the trouble of a cross-country trip...
Also if it really were that simple, don’t you think it would be an all expenses paid sort of affair? Instead it’s at one of the most expensive venues in the country and a real black tie affair. If they wanted people to come, shouldn’t they have made it a little easier to do so?

>> No.18568699

>>18568685
Very likely. I've managed to put it off without a drink in me though so I'm probably safe for a few days to come.

>> No.18568708

>>18568689
Idk if I made the right choice. I feel guilty about it ngl and hearing his tone made me feel worse but honestly, I don’t want to go and I think it’s reasonable not to go. I think the distance alone and the fact that we rarely speak makes it reasonable. It’s not like I don’t care about the guy. It just seems like a bit much.

>> No.18568714

The bookstore girl just sent me a message saying that a book I was looking for arrived (a Robert Walser compilation)
Should I try to talk to her or is that a no go?

>> No.18568723

>>18568714
Talk to her in person.

>> No.18568742

>>18568708
He just wants your wedding gift money

>> No.18568746

>>18568742
Well I’m going to buy him a wedding gift anyway obviously. I still feel guilty af now.

>> No.18568815

I just ate 7 hard boiled eggs. AMA.

>> No.18568834

>>18568746
Gay

>> No.18568845

>>18568834
How is that gay? I can’t blow it off and not buy a gift.

>> No.18568857

>>18568638
Every wedding I've attended has been a drunken feast

>> No.18568861

What actually keeps you from ending it? Doesn’t it get overwhelming even if you have something? Isn’t the constantly feeling of wanting to end it in spite of your something sort of enough to maybe render the something useless?

>> No.18568873

>>18568529
Honestly he sounds like a prick, don't get him a gift and most importantly don't feel guilty about it

>> No.18568879

>>18568857
I hate weddings because I hate dancing and if you don’t dance, you just sit there awkwardly, especially if you’re by yourself.

>> No.18568928

>>18568879
Man just drink and talk to people. Nobody is going to think you're weird.

>> No.18568947

>>18568928
Well, it’s too late. I’m already not going.

>> No.18568950

>>18568947
then stop rationalizing the decision and move on

>> No.18568958

We know now we won't go.
Straight into the darkness.
The maw of hell. The great abysss, abaddon.
We want to watch it wither, even if it seems to hard to handle.
The world's greatest tragedy, a window to the world.
We are so similar... similar..

>> No.18568965

>>18568950
I just feel so guilty about it for some reason.

>> No.18569000

>>18568670
>I have barely spoken since we graduated 5 years ago
>he doesn't ghost people that have no value to him
drop social media and change your phone number every 6 months and watch all the dead weight be exorcised from your life

>> No.18569026

>>18568965
Why are you impersonating me?

>> No.18569032

>>18569000
I already have like no friends, dude. If I do that no one will show up to my funeral even.

>> No.18569046

>>18569032
it's a two way street
why would anyone care about you, if you put no effort in caring about everyone
I doubt anyone would trouble a cross country trip for your funeral

>> No.18569052

>>18569046
>everyone
*anyone

>> No.18569081

>>18569046
You’re probably right but then wouldn’t that mean I should do the same?

>> No.18569099

>>18569081
something you should think about in your own time
no point in crying about the ships that have sailed, but in the future you might want to recall this particular experience and think about what you might've done differently had you the chance.

>> No.18569148

>>18569099
You’re obnoxious.

>> No.18569150

>>18569148
Probably true

>> No.18569159

>>18569150
> probably

>> No.18569212

when they used to stone married adulterers.. I wonder if the spouse that demanded the stoning felt satisfied afterward. I really doubt that it would give you peace to very brutally murder the person.

>> No.18569247

So bored, want to rip my eyes out and run down the street. An illusion of timeless is the terrible enchantment of a never changing environment.
I look at myself in the mirror and think how one day I will be old. Youth is passing each day.
Doom!

>> No.18569731
File: 499 KB, 220x283, 1355064094571.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18569731

Doctor got me Trazodone and Sertraline for my shortness of breath and sleep problems... Can't help but wonder, how normal is this fucking procedure? I don't want to take antidepressants

>> No.18569738

>>18568815
Are you vegan?

>> No.18569757

>>18569731
how fat are you?
genuinely asking

>> No.18569775

>>18569757
I have never been fat.
I actually got quite fit this year ( acquaintances saying woah you got bigger and shit like that), I exercise almost everyday.

>> No.18569856

I found this buried in an old corner of my hard drive. I don't know why I wrote it or what kind of mood I was in. I don't really write myself that much.

>The checkered grip sinks into the grooves of my palm, the temperature feels cool as a spring draft on my sweat. One last bullet, its bronze cranium completely at peace, in its chamber so tight yet calm. It craves the release and cleansing of fire. It wants to wake from its dream.

>My cold palms had become warm by my limp struggle against my wool trousers on my lap. The surrounding noise of the garden came back for a brief clarity, but now the last door of my life would be surrounded by granite and the decadent gloss of an upper class home; not in a dank crevice, not in a black doorway, not within a comfortable place. The tiny eye of a gun barrel and its expressionless silence was the true face of death: A glance at a kind face from a balcony, a child's finger running down a rain-streaked window, an afterimage of eyes burned into my lids for a millisecond, a lightning streak turned golden braid, one last pretty face: Infinitesimally small, neither cold or hot, relaxed at last. The feeling of being hugged by someone crying sunk with me.

>> No.18570122
File: 193 KB, 462x347, 1549621429132.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18570122

I'm kinda agitated with amazon right now. Almost three times now they've fucked up my delivery. Leaves of Grass came with multiple blank pages, bought this notebook and it came with damaged packaging and now I bought a wacom tablet and that shit doesn't work properly. I wanted to buy another book but now I'm not so keen on it.

>> No.18570253

>>18564557
i have to go to gradschool i think

>> No.18570257

>>18570253
but i doubt any will accept me at this point

>> No.18570385
File: 153 KB, 560x874, 青蛙.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18570385

有人也在学习中文吗?

>> No.18570397

>>18570385
对我在学习。你汉语程度如何?

>> No.18570457

>>18570385
I already know chinese
native level fluency

>> No.18570475

>>18570457
Hi if you don't mind me asking how did you go from intermediate / conversational -> actually fluent?
What I mean is like my vocab is good and stuff but it hasn't really clicked yet where I feel like I can actually express myself in chinese.

>> No.18570497

>>18570397
我的汉语马马虎虎。我最近又开始学习了。在大学的时候我学过了两年的中文不过从毕业了到现在我一没有学习了。你考汉语水平考试了吗?我还没有。
>>18570457
based
>>18570475
我建议你跟别人练习说中文。你不能自己学一全语言!

>> No.18570507

>>18570475
learning a language can only take you so far
at a certain point you'll just have to start using the language
from reading books, watching movies, to listening to music and holding actual conversations with people
it's just the way it is

and also I'm Taiwanese, so y'know

>> No.18570535

>>18570497
我打算考HSK5考试。如果你成功了HSK4,我觉得你就可以上中国大学。

>> No.18570789

>>18570253
>>18570257
Same, I don't have any letters of recommendation because lol fuck them. Going to debt is excess to me. Yet those sweet masters requirement gibs only jobs make me hard. Probably never gonna make it and just gonna become waggie slave until breaking the system.

>> No.18570797

>>18570789
Pardon my shitty english. I been forsaken and drunk since forever.

>> No.18571183
File: 1.57 MB, 880x1360, file.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18571183

I'm surprised Mistborn wasn't initially advertised as YA. It has the hallmarks of a typical YA novel:
>super duper special strong orphan "plain" (beautiful) female protagonist
>chosen one
>love triangle
>group of impoverished people rebelling against an authoritarian government

>> No.18571298

>>18565113
L O N D O N
O
N
D
O
N

>> No.18571312

>>18571183
Sanderson, stylistically and structurally, is 100% YA.
His niche is YA for people who think they have moved on to the next level or something, when really all that has changed is page length.

>> No.18571348

Have you ever feels like an NPC? I think that I've become one since yesteryear. My whole being becomes automatic and unconscious. I live by the "should" not by what I want. I don't feel alive. There is a void inside. Is it because of the determinism philosophy that is ever-present in my mind? Some say that consciousness is not so algorithmic. I need to stop stagnating in this passivity. But it's all so imaginary and abstract. Back to the rough ground, I think.

>> No.18571368

You can be a good Catholic or you can be a good American, but you can't be both.

>> No.18571374

I love boys with nice asses and thick thighs

>> No.18571393

>>18571183
Oh, just realized Mistborn was published in 2006. That probably explains it. YA didn't really blow up until post-Harry Potter (>2007). Dystopian YA books didn't explode until Hunger Games (2012).

>> No.18571405

>>18569731
I have shortness of breath too but no way I am getting back on fucking antidepressants. I'd rather just live with it.

>> No.18571454

thanks to anon for recommending the sapolsky lectures

>> No.18571613

Is America actually colapsing because of anti-communist procedures going wrong after having no proper outlet?

>> No.18571658
File: 35 KB, 1080x1480, e20bd0b5332c.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18571658

i am a king of Dryness.
ive got moistened here and there for whole of my life but still i was like a stocking, and all the moistness has no seed, no brilliant flowers can come out of it.
now i just keep myself dry. nothingness' fat, NOISY smelly belly suffocate my breathing, always, but its much better than any unnecessary moist. better to skeletalize than to fatten up in a cage of eyeless-from-births hyenas and hamsters.
i always know how it goes.
rocks dont change their spots.

the night sky has no stars curiously, its gone out of business about 28 aeons ago, i guess they see no profit to be made here, where nothingness' belly fleps and flops, echoes of his disgusting laughter is heard from afar as soon every first light of dawn comes. the night sky seems like it will stay dead starless, WINDLESS, again and again, till one night - i am

too.

>> No.18571886
File: 41 KB, 850x400, robert frost the only way out is thrugh.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18571886

>>18568861
I keep myself going because I see that "something" as a painful but necessary gateway to escaping the modern world and finding peace and freedom. That's all I want at this point. Maybe it's naive, but to escape the "something" that causes you misery you must embrace it. My fear is not only that I'll never get to this point, but that by the time I do my spirit and soul will have been crushed beyond repair and I'll be a spiteful, hollow shell of who I was once was. Then again, that happens to everyone as they age and grow more jaded.
Enough of my blog post though. Picrel is the most concise way to convey my point.

>> No.18571912

>>18570797
>>18570253
What field? Masters or a PhD don't always enhance your career prospects unless you have good experience before you enter. Depends on the field though.

Also email the closest profs and former employers you have ASAP. Talk to them over the phone/zoom or whatever ahead of time. Even if they barely remember you, as long as you weren't a shitty student and convey your passion then they'll be willing to help. I was in a similar position and had to find a recommendation from someone I interned with 4 years ago and two profs I haven't spoken with since 2018 but that got the job done. Each grad school requires a separate submission of an LoR so don't reach out last minute. Also good essays and an early application (most programs use rolling admissions) are key. Depending on your program and situation I could try and answer more questions. Felt the same as you guys but got into Berkeley for grad school and am beginning this fall. You can make it anons.

>> No.18572085

>>18569731
What's your cardio like? It sounds very much like the doctor considers you anxious. If I were you I wouldn't take them, and go seek a second opinion from a sports medicine doctor.

>> No.18572096

>>18571368
>You can be a good Catholic
That's lies.

>> No.18572667
File: 299 KB, 1132x610, sad_probe.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18572667

>>18564557
I sometimes think about how this shit post I made about being a virgin is not only probably one of the better written things I've produced, but also the most publicized after my buddy posted a screen cap to his twitter. I don't know how to feel about it to be honest.

>> No.18572675

Holy diver
Holy diver
I wish I had a boyfriend

>> No.18572688

i managed nofap for 3 days until i jo'd to some twink and now i hate myself again

>> No.18572826

god i can't fucking read deleuze anymore...but i have to....

>> No.18572954
File: 66 KB, 770x1024, EnfntsTerribles-5-Things-You-Can-Put-between-Your-Tabi-Shoes-Martin-Margiela-4-770x1024.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18572954

I have accepted that I am a shoe fetishist. I have several paraphilias but shoes are one of the main ones. Not feet. I have an obsession with medium-sized black leather shoes. Only ankle boots. I'm talking to a little brown asian guy who always wears those margiela tabis that look like hooves. They are objectively ridiculous but my god it is making me go crazy. My fucking dick. I keep on thinking about it. I have a fetish for heavy black heels. And chelseas. I want someone to choke on my dick while they wear black leather ankle boots. Like I said I'm not into feet so I don't know how this happened.

>> No.18573067
File: 1.29 MB, 1642x2000, 1614202011603.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18573067

I can't take this anymore. Can't stop thinking about qt3.14. I'm nearly dying of grief when I see how pure and innocent she looks amidst that dirty nigger infested shithole.
Aaah I don't know what I should do.
I've never seen her talk to anyone, she is always alone, haven't spoken a word to her.
Would it freak her out if I just walked up to her and asked her for her number? I haven't talked to any female outside my family probably since elementary school. I have no clue what I'm even supposed do with a female or what I'm supposed to talk about with her. I'm a shallow boring subhuman.

>> No.18573088

Think about it, think about the meaning of smell, tiny alien particles entering your body and you somehow can sense them all no Matter how different or alien to you but why, is not vision is not light refracting is not nerves reacting to vibrations is not sound all those senses have a single centered purpose to which they react but not smell, smell can react to everything that radiates particles ANYTHING can be smelled

>> No.18573284

>>18571348
The way I look at it, we're all a void of silent soul, wrapped in a vibrating string of identity tied to emotion that pulls and is pulled via conversation and interaction. As you get older, you tend to get more in touch with that silence, and more tasks become automatic, as you're no longer learning them by rote.

Thus we're all self programmed NPCs of a sort, void wrapped in experience, and common conversation becomes increasingly pre-programmed and predictable. Interactions have to become increasingly lengthy and deep to have any real meaning, fewer and fewer opportunities abound for that, and the morse code we use online doesn't suffice to make one feel human again by itself, to the degree where places like 4chan sometimes seem like a AI Dungeon simulations. ...and in some ways they are, if only because the level of interaction between its biological nodes is so limited and repetitious, it creates the illusion that NPCs are real - and some people latch onto that to defend their constantly self-checking identities from their own internal silence.

>> No.18573292

I sometimes think about Werther. That the gun was sent by Lotte gives me a perverse satisfaction.

>> No.18573360

>have this ex-colleague of mine who barely replies
>his birthday came up once
>wished him and hoped that he was doing well
>don't even know if I was even read
>7 months later now I get a text from him asking me something
>don't wanna engage with him anymore
Am I being petty? I've met a lot of people like this in college for some reason. I know they're not obligated to keep in touch with me but it seems like I'm only 'contacted' when they want something.

>> No.18573370

Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one horse open sleigh HEY

JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS
JINGLE ALL THE WAY
OH, WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE
IN A ONE HORSE OPEN SLEIGH

HEY
JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS
JINGLE ALL THE WAY
OH, WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE
IN A ONE HORSE OPEN SLEIGH

JINGLE BELL JINGLE BELL JINGLE BELL YO HEY

JINGLE BELL JINGLE BELL JINGLE BELL YO HEY

JINGLE BELL JINGLE BELL JINGLE BELL YO HEY

JINGLE BELL JINGLE BELL JINGLE BELL YO HEY

JINGLE BELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

JINGLE BELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

JINGLE BELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>> No.18573371

>>18573370
based jingle bells poster.

>> No.18573443

>>18573370
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLMLTDPpZYQ

THE HILLS HAVE HEADCHEESE

THE HILLS HAVE HEADCHEESE

ERROR: OUT SYSTEM THINKS YOUR POST IS SPAM.

THE HILLS HAVE HEADCHEESE

THE HILLS HAVE HEADCHEESE

THE HILLS HAVE HEADCHEESE

THE HILLS HAVE HEADCHEESE

THE HILLS HAVE HEADCHEESE

>> No.18573487

>>18569148
lmao what a fucking loser, anon gives you good advice and you call him obnoxious. cry more

>> No.18573504

>>18573360
I wouldn't reply

>> No.18573507

ey yo this is just a test, nothing more

ey yo this is just a test, nothing more

ey yo this is just a test, nothing more

ey yo this is just a test, nothing more

ey yo please

ey yo pleaseeeeeeeee

EY YO STOP

ey yo start

>> No.18573516

https://youtu.be/pIRbcHc0blo
books for this feel?

>> No.18573518

>>18573507
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yK7y9OfhpCI

everybody wants it, everybody needs it

>> No.18573530

>>18564607
>asking 4chan about women
>Looking for genuine answers

nice try mate

>> No.18573611
File: 28 KB, 640x462, 333.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18573611

grrrr

>> No.18573638

I am experiencing what you may call information overload. My brain is completely fried and it's only getting worse every day. I don't know what to say or to think. It's like I'm just a copy of all the media I've consumed all my life. I don't even know who I am anymore. I think I never had one creative thought in my entire life.

>> No.18573708

>>18573638
spend some time alone with yourself

>> No.18573792

>>18573708
I do. it's hell

>> No.18573862

>>18573792
cause you're a BITCH

just kidding

no I'm not

yes I do

no_I'm not mayne

yeee yuuu dooo

noe, I am noté

EY MAYNE YES YOU'RE

yes I am, no I'm not yes I am, no I'm not yes I am, no I'm not yes I am, no I'm not yes I am, no I'm not yes I am, no I'm not yes I am, no I'm not yes I am, no I'm not yes I am, no I'm not yes I am, no I'm not yes I am, no I'm not yes I am, no I'm not yes I am, no I'm not yes I am

>> No.18573868

>>18573862
no I'm not

>> No.18573890
File: 7 KB, 300x100, 102.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18573890

>> No.18573970
File: 73 KB, 1280x720, maxresdefault.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18573970

you know that you're trapped here with me foreveer lil bitch

no I'm not

ehmm.. yees you are

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I'M A SKIZZO

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>> No.18573986

I am going through some old texts of mine and there is not a single one I'm proud of (most of them are shameful really).
I have some good lines here and there, but that's all I can savage: small fragments. I'm thinking about compiling them into a hazy exploration of memory.
I'm a big fan of fragmentary stuff, from actual fragmented texts (love Sappho), to the romantic tradition of "fragments" (Kubla Khan, Calidore, To the Moon) and beyond into post-T.S Eliot shit. But I'm aware that I might just be using this "aesthetic" to cope with my mediocrity.

>> No.18574017

>>18573986
>I am going through some old texts of mine and there is not a single one I'm proud of

awww nahww mayne -.-

I left alone, my mind was blank
I needed time to think
To get the memories from my mind

Six six six, the number of the beast
Hell and fire was spawned to be released -.-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nY5v82lhhgI

>> No.18574060
File: 84 KB, 750x987, 1599514518048.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18574060

dont feel nothing anymore

>> No.18574065

>>18573067
must think I'm some horny freak or whatever

>> No.18574069

>>18574060
The ritual has begun, Satan's work is done

Six six six, the number of the beast
Sacrifice is going on tonight

>> No.18574083
File: 1.17 MB, 265x207, 1504629750249.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18574083

I was talking to an ex-muslim atheist late last night and she started asking me about my Christian faith. At first she asked me how i can compromise my faith with science, which I responded by saying that the church fathers didn't take the creation story in Genesis literally over a thousand years ago, before evolution was even a scientific theory, and that cultural context is important to the story of Genesis. At which point she started asking me why God didn't just outright say how he created the world and allow it to be up to interpretation including the unscientific questioning like young earth creationism. I responded with by saying that wasn't the scope of God's message, and that God never provided man with scientific information- that was a task we are to do ourselves, and that's why things weren't corrected.
She responded by saying, "Well to me it just sounds like god didn't know. Why can people be so smart, and then turn off their brains for religion?" And accused me of performing mental gymnastics for the contradictions in the religion I was born and raised with, which I responded by saying I don't really see things as contradictions when I look closely into individual verses. She then started asking why it made any sense for Jesus to be allowed to sacrifice for all of humanity ("You'd have to have a mental disorder to want to die like that") and wouldn't accept "selfless love" as an adequate answer.

Now sure, this conversation was at 3am, but I still felt like I did a bad job defending my beliefs. idk when I'll talk to her again about religion but I think it'll happen again soonish. I think I also needed to explain to her that unlike the Quran, the Bible is not strictly divine, but divinely inspired, written by authors over thousands of years and were kept as scripture to provide a cultural context for the main thesis- the gospels.

>> No.18574102

swag

>> No.18574120

>>18573638
>I am experiencing what you may call information overload. My brain is completely fried and it's only getting worse every day. I don't know what to say or to think. It's like I'm just a copy of all the media I've consumed all my life. I don't even know who I am anymore. I think I never had one creative thought in my entire life.

Everybody is a "copy" of their environmental influences in the way you described. It seems like exposing yourself to large amounts of information from disparate viewpoints (even contradictory) forces you to confront this fact, as you can watch your attitudes and feelings about a topic change in real time as you switch from story to story.

Have you looked into meditation?

>> No.18574154
File: 1020 KB, 1125x1125, 3rd.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18574154

>>18574120
>Have you looked into meditation?

cringe

just open your 3rd

>> No.18574172
File: 202 KB, 520x389, swag.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18574172

>>18574120
>Everybody is a "copy" of their environmental influences

>> No.18574190

>>18574154
Hey if you ever decide to look into meditation you might be surprised at what you find. I used to think it was new age woo-woo garbage, but there is a growing amount of scientific literature about its benefits. Just read the wikipedia for more info.

>> No.18574193

>>18574083
>tfw Catholic and exProtestant atheists always want to quiz me about biblical literacy
FFS biblical inerrancy on every fucking thing is only a recent meme and even then only in some denominations. Half the fucking world has no idea what you're talking about and translates the inerrant wording differently. The fact that your religion started from a retarded meme doesn't mean every religion that started from a retarded meme used the same meme.

>> No.18574222

Really wish I could find a self improvement community that wasn’t filled with thirsty weirdos and rightoids that think black people will cease to exist if they stop touching the penises. Very little actually focus on health and well-being it seems.

>> No.18574253

>>18574247

>> No.18574256

>>18574193
Yeah and then 80% of the time the "contradiction" is some weak bullshit like "how many people died in this siege?" and there's one account in Numbers that says "800 people died in the siege" and then another verse in Joshua that says "500 people died in a single day" and they call this a contradiction. It's all tiresome.

But simply saying "I'm not turning my brain off for my religion" isn't an acceptable answer because when you accuse someone of being in cognitive dissonance over their religion, they're going to say "no I'm not" no matter what. So I don't know how to answer it because it's a gotcha trap from the start.

>> No.18574261
File: 995 KB, 260x146, 1619640069842.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18574261

idk but this album is...kind of cool

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZmOQvTaeDg

>> No.18574399

I've done nothing in the past month but drown in my own self-hatred and self-pity, make suicide plans I didn't carry on, regreting my past and worring about the future. I'm lost.
I've kept pushing my mental problems instead of treating them, hoping that a miracle would happen and I would magically put my shit together and now they've taken their toll and I don't know what to do.

>> No.18574479 [DELETED] 
File: 369 KB, 1766x2048, 1624688202764.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
18574479

I litterally have bats in my belfry! I just moved in here and found these little guys squatting here. I hate to kick them out because they eat all the skeeters and other bugs that would fuck my orchard, but I can't just let them rot my wooden roof with their excretions. Planning on building a bathouse or two on a pole in the yard then chasing them out by putting ultrasonic repellent devices around. Any anons delt with something similar?

>> No.18574508

Idk what to learn
Why to learn it
Why to live, my mood changes every second and whole day goes without leaving a glimpse

>> No.18574546

>>18574508
If it is for a hobby, there is no reason for indecision, pick the first thing you like or, if nothing comes to mind, pick some random language and learn it.

>> No.18574591

>>18566142
>>18566169
Unless you want actually stable, functioning, working families. But who needs that lmao let's just pretend families have always been this dysfunctional and life has always been this way! Damn life sure sucks what a bummer! At least I can get my dick wet whenever passion calls!

>> No.18574634

>>18567111
How about you stop masturbating, and quit being a bitch to our culture that insists extramarital sex is "normal".

>> No.18574644

>>18574634
I'm never going to be in a relationship though, let alone married.

>> No.18574666

write to me Lulu

>> No.18574702

>>18574644
If you keep masturbating and seeing hookers you won't

>> No.18574717

>>18574702
I'm not gonna see hookers anymore, but that won't change a thing, women don't fall out of the sky just because you've become more virtuous, seeking and maintaining a relationship takes many things I don't have.

>> No.18575809

>>18574717
What don't you have

>> No.18575819

>>18575809
Willpower, social skills, friends and an attractive personality, mostly

>>
Name (leave empty)
Comment (leave empty)
Name
E-mail
Subject
Comment
Password [?]Password used for file deletion.
Captcha
Action