Write What's On Your Mind

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Write What's On Your Mind Anonymous Wed Aug 4 01:08:40 2021 No.18779360 [Reply] [Original]

>>	the xi jinping of weed smoking !!oqyjkIO5smI Wed Aug 4 01:11:14 2021 No.18779370 Im smoking weed

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 01:11:21 2021 No.18779371

>>18779360
Choice paralysis has a hold on me once more. I can only progress my life in baby steps. I am happy to have found a faith I can truly believe in, but it has also opened up new contradictions and pain within me. I have accepted that I will never know what an optimal life is, but I would love to know what the optimal next step is-- or even just what a high return next step is. I am losing weight, learning to drive as an adult, and looking forward to moving on with life, but it is just going so slowly.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 01:18:33 2021 No.18779391

>>18779370
I'm about to start a new job after a looooooooooooooooooong job search (my industry sucks right now cus of COVID) so I haven't smoked weed in a long time. Once I get the clear for the drug test or find out I don't need to take one I'm going to get so god damn high

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 01:20:42 2021 No.18779399
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I'm extremely confident I'm the biggest loser on this entire board. None of you are as pathetic, poor, retarded, ugly, fat, virginal, or hopeless as I am. I'm thinking of joining the military at 30 and being outranked by kids out of high school.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 01:21:05 2021 No.18779401 >>18779370 >>18779391 why do you guys smoke?

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 01:25:03 2021 No.18779412 >>18779401 Like what strand? Iol I smoke what my friend sells me haha I don't know anything beyond indica and sativa. I prefer sativa

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 01:25:31 2021 No.18779413 >>18779412 kek he asked why

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 01:28:42 2021 No.18779424
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>have an open ig account I haven't used in months
>decide to post a story after a long time
>ex who unfollowed me is among the ones who saw my story
Is this bitch baiting me?

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 01:29:04 2021 No.18779426
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>>18779399
I mean, doesn't that make you the winner of the losers? Maybe there's a trophy for that, who knows.
I'm on page 121. I'm stuck between painting and writing. There needs to be more hours in the day.
Just...I'm an explosion of creativity, primed and ready, but my mind and body just don't hold steady. I'll pick up my brush and get all sweaty, and write in my books with progress steady.
I'll stop there before I cringe myself to death.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 01:32:20 2021 No.18779440 I've spent half my day browsing crystal cafe and getting an inside look into their thoughts has been wildy entertaining. Women are absolutely magnificent creatures.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 01:33:15 2021 No.18779443 >>18779440 browsing what

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 01:34:04 2021 No.18779444 >>18779440 they are trannies

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 01:34:29 2021 No.18779446 >>18779440 Lmao this nigga into trannies

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 01:34:30 2021 No.18779447 >>18779443 > he doesn't know Get ye gone newfag

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 01:35:04 2021 No.18779448 >>18779447 Forgive me father, for I am new

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 01:43:32 2021 No.18779477 >>18779401 Same reason people drink coffee or alcohol.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 01:43:59 2021 No.18779480 >>18779360 I'm beginning to suspect that i'm mentally ill

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 01:45:04 2021 No.18779482 >>18779448 crystal cafe is a chan for female r9k types. its really a strange place.

>>	the xi jinping of weed smoking !!oqyjkIO5smI Wed Aug 4 01:46:03 2021 No.18779484 >>18779391 congrats on the new job bro >>18779401 its a nice way to end the night, also this >>18779477 >>18779412 lol you high a fuck bro >>18779480 why

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 01:48:54 2021 No.18779496 >>18779482 based, Im down for that

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 01:53:23 2021 No.18779509 >>18779482 holy fuck this is wonderful Im so glad I know about this now, fucking huge morale boost that women on the internet are real

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 01:57:09 2021 No.18779522 >>18779509 Unironically don't post though. It's an important place of study, with lessons to be learned. The less larp filled it is the better.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 01:58:24 2021 No.18779525 >>18779522 Oh I know. Why would I disturb such a pristine environment?

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 02:01:40 2021 No.18779533

Are people even able to talk about their interests with other people? Only when their hobbies and projects are some real exciting stuff, right? I'm unable to do so, people don't give a care a single bit about what I want to talk about. Maybe they think I just want to impress with dumb trivia and factoids? I don't blame them but I'm really tired of talking about politics. I'm tired of having to discuss stuff with myself and my diary desu.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 02:03:01 2021 No.18779537 >>18779533 ok lets talk

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 02:03:38 2021 No.18779538 >>18779533 Dunno, reddit usually is a good place for niche interests, not even joking.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 02:04:58 2021 No.18779544 >>18779533 talk to us bro

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 02:09:45 2021 No.18779552 >>18779533 I unironically think about process and organizational economics for fun. It cant possibly be more dry and boring than that

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 02:12:01 2021 No.18779556

>>18779360
There HAS to be a life algorithm that GUARANTEES a life worth living, right? RIGHT?

Let me put it like this:

A life worth living = (in no particular order) fulfillment + knowledge + status + health + wealth

fulfillment = ethics + personal happiness + aesthetics
>ethics = philosophy + ???
>personal happiness = natural talent + what you enjoy doing despite sucking at it
>aesthetics = creating things for the sake of it + creating other things to uplift others

knowledge = reading + curiosity + experiences + mathematics
>reading = books that interest you + multidisciplinary
>curiosity = conjectures of knowledge + writing + connecting the dots + observations
>experiences = family + friends + new scenarios
>mathematics = power laws + compounding effects + algebra

status = body language + charisma + social network
>body language = tone of voice + body posture
>charisma = leadership + intelligence + seduction + natural personality
>social network = valuable people + valuable groups + social proof

health = fitness + looks
>fitness = lifting weights + eating healthy + muscular size and strength + bear-mode or chiseled
>looks = fitting clothes with matching and correct colors + hygiene + haircut + smell + misc attire (watches, rings, belts etc.)

wealth = businesses + assets
>businesses = natural talent + societal-needs that you can provide + specific knowledge + technical skills + status
>assets = pieces of ownerships of other businesses + angel investing + stocks + crypto

Trying to build a robust system. What else am I missing?

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 02:12:40 2021 No.18779557 >>18779552 tell me about organizational economics pls

>>	the xi jinping of weed smoking !!oqyjkIO5smI Wed Aug 4 02:18:42 2021 No.18779565 >>18779556 damn this is some real schizo shit. cheers anon. this is very cool, but wont chance and luck always defeat all of this?

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 02:19:58 2021 No.18779568 >>18779556 Just hit yourself in the head real hard, retards are always happy and never question their existence

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 02:20:30 2021 No.18779569 >>18779556 This is not an algorithm. You are describing a set.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 02:20:47 2021 No.18779570 >>18779360 I am a falvor a salvor The waay to love and prosperity These words are thine leaves of sweet Confucious said the same

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 02:23:28 2021 No.18779580

>>18779557
I dont know a ton about it, but its the super micro scale task satisfaction/efficiency calculation sort of economics, up to things like how to run a company in the sense of the mathematics of communication between its organs, bounds of decision time, that sort of thing

I do odd jobs occasionally, and when I do them I like to analyze the job economically as I do it. What are the necessary tasks that must be accomplished in order to finish the job? what elemental sub-tasks or micro-tasks can these be broken down into? What order of operations will deliver an increase in efficiency?

That sort of thing

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 02:25:20 2021 No.18779584 >>18779522 Why has nobody ever attempted to set up some kind of dating service for anons and fanons?

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 02:26:41 2021 No.18779589 >>18779584 No idea, do you think it would work?

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 02:29:00 2021 No.18779597 I had a thought, it was for naught, for in my memory it was not caught To forget, is to beget regret Ensnared in time's net All that was once promised goes unmet

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 02:29:14 2021 No.18779598 >>18779589 Fuck yeah there are plenty of posters on Crystal Cafe I would love to talk to I wouldnt even care if they called me a moid, they seem like fun

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 02:31:27 2021 No.18779604 >>18779598 Dunno, just set up a discord server or something. I bet you would at least get some femcels joining. Do they have femcels in that Crystal Cafe?

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 02:32:42 2021 No.18779607 >>18779604 I think yeah it actually sounds like maybe this has been tried I really need to make a throwaway discord lol

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 02:35:05 2021 No.18779618 I do not wish to sleep Do not wish to rise It seems that nullity Oblivion is my prize Into nothingness I collide For in both past and future futility hides So unto abysses of indifference I ride

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 02:36:48 2021 No.18779625 >>18779607 >they have a Charlatan thread on /b/ >but it is about men Women...

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 02:38:57 2021 No.18779631

>>18779537
>>18779544
I already make threads and posts like everyone else but ok.
One thing that I've been growing obsessed with is making a compilation of myths, and stories about supernatural phenomena (that everyone seems to know, but have never been written) from my region. I want to make some shorts stories about them too. I know is maybe even hurtful for culture but I want to make a serie of lists of symbols, of cliches, and work over them. Make or get someone to make illustrations and some maps.
While I know annoys a lot of people, I like how people can take Peru, for example, and relate it to llamas, ponchos, machu pichu. or japan and samurais, kappas, tengus, katanas, etc. You can't do that with my region, or with my country. All the things I have already listed probably don't even matter to a lot people from those countries. But it annoys me how there's so many stories here and no one has stored them yet.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 02:42:16 2021 No.18779643 >>18779631 I have some notes about all these but they are in my language and my english isn't too good. I'll most likely post them here somewhere in a few months.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 02:42:48 2021 No.18779645 >>18779631 Based preservation cant hurt dude Which country is it if you dont mind, or at least which region

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 02:49:37 2021 No.18779667 File: 2.69 MB, 2000x5755, 1627920451879.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>18779607 Fucking KEK, maybe they are fun to be around.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 02:59:05 2021 No.18779699

>>18779645
Some rural zone in Colombia.
I really fucked up saying country because that simply isn't true, the country has icons, like coffee, accordions, marimondas, sombreros vueltiaos, and yeah, yeah muh cocaine. But my region inside of Colombia doesn't have icons or images like that, Stuff like marimondas and those sombreros are really only representative of one zone of the country. García Márquez work is also only representative of that part of the country.
My region really got any of that. So people probably think I'm trying to imitate Gabo but that isn't true, what I want to do is something more akin to the ghosts books by Lafcadio Hearn.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 03:00:59 2021 No.18779709 >>18779699 yeah sounds dope. Record all that shit.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 03:12:19 2021 No.18779751 ale mnie głowa napierdziela

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 03:30:50 2021 No.18779814 AAAAAAAAAHHHHH WHY IS IT SO HARD TO CHANGE? CURSE THE BINDINGS OF FLESH I WANT TO BE FREE

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 03:37:09 2021 No.18779832 >>18779814 Start by refusing assent to thoughts you dont want as they appear. This is conditioning for the will.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 03:39:45 2021 No.18779841 File: 28 KB, 1152x480, 53db3c71-3969-4468-ac85-258e752d6d82_screenshot.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>18779814 Interesting thought process, so you feel separte from your body? Tell me about your mother

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 03:45:53 2021 No.18779870

>>18779832
>>18779841

I feel like there's 2 parts to me.
Sometimes I feel like *I* am just watching my body do stupid shit like a passenger.
Other times when *I* am in control I actually get stuff done.
I don't know what it is but sometimes I feel like I finally breakthrough (often happens at night for some reason) and can get stuff done. But when I wake up in the morning it's back to the same old shit. Often times this is a strong feeling while other times it's not even noticeable.
I don't mean this to sound literal, like I'm psychotic and being possessed or something, rather it's a feeling that I simply can't stop falling into the traps of distraction and escapism.

I don't want to type out an essay on my life as it's tiring. But basically my parents divorced when I was young and I lived with my dad. My mother wasn't around much but I have a decent relationship now that I've grown up.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 03:47:36 2021 No.18779875 >>18779870 It probably doesnt have much to do with your life history and more to do with bad habits. Do you exercise? If not, try long walks

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 03:54:43 2021 No.18779904

>>18779875
I don't do much of anything really. Just watching the days pass. Somehow I made it through 3.5 years of Uni without studying or making any real friends and the more time that passes the worse it feels knowing I'll never get that time back or experience the things everyone else seems to be.
I don't think I've had someone I could call a real friend since my parents divorced and I started hopping around schools. At some point I stopped trying to make friends because I guess I thought I'd just lose them again and then that's when bullying started and I never really recovered from that.
It seems so stupid when you think something so insignificant as some little shits calling you names when you're 12 can direct the course of the rest of your life.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 03:58:44 2021 No.18779913 >>18779904 well, it cant anymore if you actively resist it. Habit is a powerful thing, but it can be changed.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 03:59:23 2021 No.18779915

What should relationships to other people be like?

I am always oscillating between this extreme dependence on others and attempts of complete apathy.

If a man is self-sufficient in a social sense (and he certainly is, to a degree), then practicing that self-sufficiency makes me not care other people. At that point I don't see any benefit in keeping relationships to whom I feel disconnected. On the other hand, I do enjoy others' company (obviously not anyone's, but friends, some family members etc.), but I enjoy it so much that it feels like I transfer everything on it, the relationship becomes an important part of myself. I obviously don't, because I stop myself, because I am aware of it (since I am typing this), but that just makes me return to apathy.

Is there another way? My relationships feel so integral to who I am, in such a way that I can hardly imagine having a relationship and not caring about the person, but then I just fall back into oscillating between the two extremes. I can conceptualize a third way where you appreciate a relationship, but retain a distance, yet I imagine this to feel quite disconnected.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 04:06:52 2021 No.18779944 I haven't slept in 3 days, and I still can't sleep. Not sure why this is happening, though.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 04:08:58 2021 No.18779949 >>18779944 drink water, stop drinking coffee or using drugs of any kind, exercise strenuously tomorrow, eat a big meal

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 04:11:43 2021 No.18779959 >>18779944 Gotta get off that meth dude.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 04:12:30 2021 No.18779961 >>18779522 99% if not 100 are men larping as girls

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 04:19:13 2021 No.18779988

>>18779949
I'll try the strenuous exercise. I have 1 cup of coffee for lunch, but I've been doing that for years without problems. My cognition is definitely going down, but my eyes aren't heavy. No hallucinations or memory issues. When I try to sleep I wake up shortly after, like after a few minutes. I don't take any drugs.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 04:32:00 2021 No.18780022
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I have a long time friend I usually only hang out with in a group. Whenever I talk to him one on one it feels like we're speaking perpendicular to each other. It never quite clicks and I mull over our conversations long after.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 04:36:48 2021 No.18780037

Life isn't fair so I just cope
It's hard to care I've lost all hope
They just stare they tie the rope around my throat
I wish I wasn't me
I hate myself indeed
I can't talk to anyone I hope that somebody will kill me
So much anxiety
Now im choking I can't breathe
I just want to RIP
I just want to die in peace

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 04:38:15 2021 No.18780041 Faith is all that can save me but I am literally incapable of faith It's like forcing myself to believe that Santa is real

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 04:46:52 2021 No.18780065 >>18780041 >It's like forcing myself to believe that Santa is real Your mistake is your conceptualization of God. Read Guenon.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 04:52:41 2021 No.18780079

I'm achieving something I've been working on for years to get in, I'm still a beginner despite the time put in and with a group of serious old guys who been around the scene. I feel very accomplished and determined for the future in playing music. My romantic life has been shoddy this whole time though. I've been with my gf for 4 years, but I'm going to see another woman tomorrow whom I've had romantic history with in the past. I've been on and off about seeing her, but the part of me that needs to interact with the world and got me in my current position with music wants to hang out with her despite the good or bad that comes from it. The other side stresses staying where I'm at in a comfortable position and uses morality and logic as its persuasion, while the other side uses feeling as its persuasion. I wish there were a way for me to just get an answer on how to appease these qualities and bring them together. Maybe the answer lies in how I take action in seeing her and communicating to my gf about it. Or maybe even something unforseen happens as it usually does.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 04:52:46 2021 No.18780080 Hello everyone I wanted to drop by and tell you to kill yourselves. See you later suckers.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 04:54:47 2021 No.18780083 File: 882 KB, 680x713, 1628034003432.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>18780080 >t.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 04:58:53 2021 No.18780094 >>18779556 AND I GOT IT ALL BABY ;)

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 05:01:32 2021 No.18780098 >>18779556 >he's striving for happiness Heh, nothin personnel kid. But that doesn't work here.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 05:02:50 2021 No.18780105 >>18780094 Ok except wealth but I’m dating a rich guy so I’m good

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 05:05:05 2021 No.18780114

>>18780065
>Read Guenon.
ty, I cannot seem to get a reply on this
but Christians take stuff in the Bible literally, like am I supposed to really think that factually, Jesus Christ multiplied fish and turned water into wine, and that he literally came back from the dead? I mean a whole lot of Christians seem to struggle with something as basic as evolution, something which we have manipulated since the dawn of time by selecting breeds and strands. The theories are much more complicated than "well the Genesis was symbolic" because you need serious mental gymnastics to read what's written in the Bible and reconcile it with the facts we know.
How do I force myself to become religious? I don't care about knowing the "truth", I need faith. Is it even possible without damaging myself irremediably?

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 05:07:09 2021 No.18780119

>>18780114
Religion is experiential
It’s completely stupid to become religious if you don’t have esoteric or mystical experiences or a basis to believe
It becomes just another fake morality
I have mystical experiences so I understand religions but you shouldn’t blindly believe

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 05:08:08 2021 No.18780122 >>18779556 You are over complicating things like a proper retard. Try to be smarter from now.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 05:08:10 2021 No.18780123 >>18780098 Imagine not being happy

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 05:08:34 2021 No.18780125 I'm cringe and I don't care anymore.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 05:18:26 2021 No.18780149 >>18780119 >if you don’t have esoteric or mystical experiences That layer exists in me but it's all suppressed by rationalism in my waking life.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 05:40:08 2021 No.18780204 >>18779915 "It is a question of decisive importance whether human beings can comport themselves towards others as spectators; or whether they are invariably fellow-sufferers, fellowrejoicers, fellow-offenders: the latter are authentic living beings."

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 06:15:26 2021 No.18780282

Got black out drunk for the first time ever the other day, still feeling the effects now 3 days later. Vomited all up the outside of the bar I was at apparently. Decided then in a deep depression to regress and move back home to the countryside with my parents and sister and become a recluse and maybe do work online and see if I can do my masters next year. I’m ashamed of myself and think I’ll quit drinking, I don’t even like it and fear becoming an alcoholic but there’s literally nothing else to do in this city.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 06:37:09 2021 No.18780359 >>18779988 that sounds really unusual. you should document this, even it it's just in this thread

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 06:40:48 2021 No.18780373 >>18780149 >That layer exists in me but it's all suppressed by rationalism in my waking life. Whatever man, UNSUPPRESS IT

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 06:43:29 2021 No.18780387

>>18779944
This may be early psychosis. I have a lot of experience with psychosis, please trust me. You may not have hallucinations or unusual thinking as of yet, but it doesn't mean you won't in the future, also even if it's nor psychosis it is never normal not to sleep for three days, it's a brain issue. I advise you to go to the doctor.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 06:47:37 2021 No.18780397 >>18780387 What does psychosis feel like?

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 06:56:05 2021 No.18780433

>>18780397
Very early schizophrenic psychosis feels like things are not quite right, something is a little off but you can't pinpoint it, reality is a bit weird, things may visually appear very intense/maybe more detailed than usual, maybe there are weird physical/auditory sensations, strange thoughts, trouble putting your thoughts together, trouble having clear thoughts, thoughts are getting mixed up, expressing yourself is hard, getting organized is hard, time seems to flow weirdly, you keep getting distracted, etc. Not being able to eat and sleep one of the defining early signs of psychosis (not sleeping several days, sleeping one to three hours a night and feeling awake, not feeling hungry at all). Full blown psychosis is different for different people but it's usually a mix of auditory, visual hallucinations, delusions, paranoia and more. If one starts hearing voices they need to get immediate help.

For bipolar psychosis I know less, I know when you are manic you get the same psychotic symptoms and you are also acting hyperactive and insane and then you are severely depressed. A manic episode is accompanied by lack of sleep as well.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 07:01:29 2021 No.18780448 >>18780433 Do you like become an observer when in psychosis or still have a degree of control?

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 07:03:14 2021 No.18780455

I fucked up my life so much in the last three years. I wasted opportunities because of being either arrogant and proud, despite being a loser, or scared of talking to people and having new experiences. I have a problem to make decisions, I'm either impulsive or I get stuck in a paralysis of analysis. I'm also lazy and immature, wasting my time in games, imageboards and pornography.
At least I know my problems better now. Also, I was never much of a believer in anything, but I'm starting to believe and follow God, it comforts me to do so.
Those problems above led me to dropout of college two months ago, the pandemics made it all much worse and I lost the capacity to think clearly and did some really stupid shit. In the guilt of what I've done and anxiety and fear of the future, of what I'll do and because I was scared of telling my parents and my friends of what I did, I made plans to kill myself, but I'm an only child and my parents are old and I know my mother will fall into a deep depression and may follow me if I do it. I can't die with those thoughts in my head.
Before dropping out, I also arranged an internship interview, but because I was out of college, I couldn't officially commit to it, but I was so afraid of exposing myself and this failure that I lied and went along and only told them later. I have this gut feeling I have to open up to my parents and tell them of what I done, but I'm so fucking scared, I'm looking like a child who broke something and is afraid of getting beaten.
I told them I was depressed and anxious and not thinking very well because my mother noticed how different my behaviour became, but told her it was because of the isolation and the pandemics, not the complete thing.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 07:16:53 2021 No.18780509 >>18780119 >I have mystical experiences Like? What if you have had none?

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 07:18:43 2021 No.18780516

>>18780448
It depends on the evolution of the psychosis and its degree of gravity. Early on you have a great degree of control of course. For untreated, late stage psychosis, you may have no control at all. For anything in the middle, you may alternate between periods of control/mental clarity and relapse/"madness", or experience symptoms but be aware of them enough to ignore them or rationalise them. It depends on the person, the environment, how long the illness is untreated, does the person have experience with the illness, does the person know they're ill, etc.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 07:21:40 2021 No.18780526

I was born Christian. Praying every day and believing with all my heart in God. I was by far the most pious guy among everyone I knew. One day I completely lost my faith and became the most atheist guy I knew. Even the edgy atheists were more spiritual than I was. Then eventually in my late 20s I've done tremendous efforts to rekindle my faith. I've worked on a metaphysical theory that could allow me to sidestep reason and embrace faith, I've started studying the Bible obsessively, and I started being actively involved with Christian groups. So far it's not working at all. I don't think I've ever be a Christian again, but I'll remain open minded and embrace any change in my worldview. It's a life-long process to understand myself.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 07:25:41 2021 No.18780542 File: 11 KB, 480x360, trash.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>18779360 nrx and identity politics are different expression of an identical impulse amongst western academics

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 07:26:48 2021 No.18780545

>>18780526
>I've worked on a metaphysical theory that could allow me to sidestep reason and embrace faith
Anon I am going through a very similar journey. I even thought that if I cannot have faith, I can write about people who do, and act as a vehicle.
Is there a way I can contact you? I'm desperate to discuss this with someone who knows Christianity and understands this struggle.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 07:31:42 2021 No.18780556

>>18780545
> even thought that if I cannot have faith, I can write about people who do, and act as a vehicle.
I think William James' "The Varieties of Religious Experiences" may be relevant to you if you haven't read it. I haven't read it myself, but I know it was one of the few books Wittgenstein held dearly.
I'm not prepared to really discuss the personal journey with others, sorry, I need many more years of thinking.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 07:32:28 2021 No.18780560

>>18780509
Unity with "God" which is beyond logic and that's why I say it's experiential not rational. When Grace falls upon you - Gravity and Grace. Beatitude is experiential. I use Christian terms because I come from a Christian culture but I am more invested into Hinduism. However all religions are just methods not the end-all-be-all.

>What if you have had none?
Just do not take religious teachings for granted and do not believe what you don't know. I come to certain metaphysical knowledge experientially through meditation and THEN when I read scriptures I think "Ha! Now I get it, because I've been there". And I see very well that it's impossible to grasp from a purely intellectual standpoint. Anyway, that's the issue with religious/mystical/whatever you want to semantically call it experience, I understand very well that from the outside it just seems like cope and delusion. You really have no way to prove it, if it is not part of your reality.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 07:34:25 2021 No.18780567 >>18780526 >I've started studying the Bible obsessively, and I started being actively involved with Christian groups. That's not what it means to experience faith HAHA

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 07:36:14 2021 No.18780570 You can experience faith and not be involved with anything, any community, any religion, even

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 07:38:48 2021 No.18780578 >>18780556 >I think William James' "The Varieties of Religious Experiences" may be relevant to you Thank you anon. For what little it's worth as it's coming from me, I hope that God helps you find your way back.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 07:39:00 2021 No.18780579

If I were a torturer, do you think that after the inevitable regime collapse I'd get prosecuted even if I exclusively used tickling? I imagine the prisoners would be quite happy to have me as their interrogator, rather than some roughneck with a penchant for hot irons or electric prods. I mean, they'd probably prefer not to get tortured at all, but it's the best of a bad situation right?

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 07:58:45 2021 No.18780632 >>18780579 If I were a torturer I'd just rape people in the ass. That would be my torture method (only for cute boys though)

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 08:01:41 2021 No.18780650 >>18780632 I would like to tickle cute boys arses with feathers. Make em squirm

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 08:03:53 2021 No.18780661

>>18778719
I'm not Christian and I'm quite sure it was only a nightmare, normally i wouldn't even remark on it because I get them often, but the ending utterly perplexed me. Normally a nightmare for me ends in the terror turning up to 11 so I wake up, or my escaping from or killing the thing attacking me. In this dream I wasn't even the one being attacked and it ended in this completely mysterious fashion of the screen just going dark with the cross, which I have absolutely no idea how to interpret. I'm probably not getting across just how strange it felt when this occurred in the dream, i almost became like lucid and awake while still standing there in the dream room in front of the screen, just confused about what i was seeing, because I had not won nor lost and I didn't know where the woman had gone or if she had been saved or was still in hell or anything.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 08:29:58 2021 No.18780747 >>18780650 This too.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 08:32:48 2021 No.18780753

I'm bisexual I'm in a widely known pseudo homosexual relationship and socially isolated for being a straight homosexual people look at us with pity or loathing disguised as "acceptance" or "support" and my only self worth comes from a physique built from unnatural barbell movements and an unwarranted sense of superiority to the average "human" who is quite honestly unworthy of the grace of God

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 08:36:45 2021 No.18780766

>>18779360
i cant write because my mind defaults to choosing the easiest way out of any thought or situation which is usually just to say "fuck you" so if i sit down to write it will just say
>fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you
hm maybe.. would anyone wanna read that?

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 08:39:01 2021 No.18780776

Humans are not fucking beautiful
Humans are not complex
We aren't conscious
We'll mere meat computers that don't do anything that we weren't designed to do
Why does every sci fi shill this "Hurrr humans good, cyborgs bad, you shouldn't accept other lifestyles and eugenics"

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 08:49:35 2021 No.18780803 >>18780776 >what's in group preference

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 08:50:41 2021 No.18780808 >>18780753 >for being a straight homosexual ??? You are bisexual you just said it. Who cares what the fuck people think of your relationship? Also bisexuality is based, superior, natural, etc.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 08:52:38 2021 No.18780816 >>18780776 Huh speak for yourself bitch, YOU ONLY SEE YOUR REFLECTION IN OTHERS (Also every life made by "God" is beautiful and complex even an ant. Must really suck not to see it)

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 09:02:19 2021 No.18780857

>>18780816
Humans
>built only to breed
>built to live and think like a caveman despite having consumer lifestyle, unable to take advantage of it
>can't fly
>constantly enslaving each other
>identity purely built out of experiences, circumstances and genes, no sense of self
>has instincts
I'm sick of this flesh prison

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 09:08:18 2021 No.18780877 >>18780857 it's a frame of mind and you can escape your flesh prison any time you want by killing yourself

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 09:09:35 2021 No.18780881

>>18780776
>We'll mere meat computers that don't do anything that we weren't designed to do
Assuming this is the truth, I see only two ways of going about it: killing yourself or rejecting it.
Why wold you not kill yourself? Your life has no meaning. The pleasures you have are just stimuli, and so are the pains. You have no identity, you are nothing. Your existence on Earth is pointless and your loved ones are similarly bound to you and you to them by chemical reactions. Morality is pointless and a murderous sadist is the same, if not superior in his dedication to himself rather than some ideal, to a man who lives his life helping others. Assuming all this, can you tell me why you shouldn't kill yourself without saying "the chemicals want me to survive?"
Are you like the chicken who live in their little dismal cages in a factory farm, surviving because their instinct tells them to keep eating and struggling?
Assuming this, why do you value truth? Why is truth important since your perception is just chemicals? If you get a brain tumor you will start to hallucinate and your mind will change, you will see friends as enemies. Is that hallucination truth? No. It's just your chemicals. All of it is chemicals. So why not embrace God? Why not align your chemicals so that you believe you have a soul, that you have a mission in life, which gives you a foundation for moral, virtuous behavior? If everything is pointless chemicals then how can you possibly justify not choosing one of these two and only two paths: death or willful delusion. Because I cannot possibly imagine a human being fully realizing that he's nothing but a meat robot whose emotions are chemicals and deciding his life is worth living as it is

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 09:15:28 2021 No.18780905

>>18780881
You're assuming humans base their decisions on conscious logical calculation, so if they figure out life is meaningless they will off themselves. Humans mostly do things for other reasons and then rationalize their actions to their conscious minds, so merely being made aware of something is not sufficient to provoke action if that action conflicts with the deep drives that really steer behavior.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 09:16:23 2021 No.18780909 >>18779580 Is this not like the brookhandle thing Wittgenstein? How many bristles do you need to take away from the broom to only have a broom handle? What is the sensible place to stop breaking things down into smaller units?

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 09:19:22 2021 No.18780920

>>18780857
No we are not built "only" for all of that. The human potential is astounding. I am really sorry you don't experience the higher dimensions of life. Not my fault. Be more perceptive to the reality of life.

>built only to breed
Can be easily transcended.

>built to live and think like a caveman despite having consumer lifestyle, unable to take advantage of it
Can be easily transcended, even more so.

>can't fly
Yeah we can fly, do you live in the 18th century? Just not with wings but we wanted to fly so much we have actually invented a way to fly. A bird doesn't feel freedom when flying by the way, it is just executing its programmed actions, but you can feel freedom, joy, wonder, when you use a helicopter, jump off the plane with a parachute, etc.

>constantly enslaving each other
Can be transcended.

>identity purely built out of experiences, circumstances and genes, no sense of self
This is not a negative in itself. Just a fact. It can be a positive. Embrace your selflessness. It's wonderful. You are one with God.

>has instincts
Can be transcended.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 09:21:56 2021 No.18780925 Godfags stay winning, Nihilists BTFO

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 09:31:30 2021 No.18780965

How am I supposed to find the time (and discipline) to do the things I want to do?

I’m thinking about quitting my job and living out of my car. I’ve got about $10k cash saved up, which I would only need to spend on food and gas I guess and if things get really bad, I can go live with a parent. What I’d really like to do is stock up on imperishable goods and then go spend about 12 mos. in a cabin in the woods.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 09:33:29 2021 No.18780968
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[ERROR]

Hi I like to molest and murder people through plausible deniable methods that are currently untraceable through normal human technological means. it makes me feel super happy and smart :)

I also make movies and shows about it that admits to it but since it's so heavily cryptic OMG IM GENIUS nobody knows what I did! :D:D I just feel really smart and cool also I dehumanize the victims so I don't have any no-no feelings that make me feel bad when I do it >:) and when someone calls me out oon It I make the fictionalized character out of them and make their character really dumb and stupid it's so funny :P destroying and molesting the essence of humanity and its future is just like so awesome!

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 09:33:58 2021 No.18780973 >>18780965 Start an onlyfans

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 09:42:51 2021 No.18781007 File: 12 KB, 380x284, E0ebZj5VIAArrb8.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >got a urine test because it sorta hurts when I pee in the morning >tests comes up negative on account of diabetes and infection What the fuck

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 09:43:01 2021 No.18781008
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[ERROR]

>>18780968
oh also I obfuscate my childish rotten influence on this world with esoteric rhetoric and symbols and make excuses that literally don't mean anything (literally all these symbols mean fucking nothing) and basically I'm just a net negative on cosmic evolution!

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 09:58:20 2021 No.18781075 >>18780973 Nobody wants to see that.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 10:00:27 2021 No.18781085 File: 71 KB, 640x934, 640_u1802647.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I don't get Pynchon. It feels like he's writing his novels while having a stroke, especially Bleeding Edge.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 10:05:29 2021 No.18781112 >>18780968 how can you murder people through technological means?

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 10:05:37 2021 No.18781114 >>18780808 I don't really care but I wasn't really prepared for the actual hatred fags are subjected to. Have been hate crimed and ostracised because of it but I still love him

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 10:06:33 2021 No.18781118 >>18781112 because you can secretly groom and influence peoples thoughts, but everything publicly available concerning that shit is all half-truth and lies so don't bother trying to search this shit yourself.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 10:08:57 2021 No.18781129

>>18781112
oh also you can give them heart attacks and shit, or possibly other stuff like Asphyxiation when they're sleeping, but that stuffs just on a individualistic level. Anyways I don't feel like making this a schizo thread I just wanted to talk shit about these faggots.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 10:13:07 2021 No.18781143 File: 1.49 MB, 1668x2086, maybe true.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>18781112 Okay so this is how they allegedly can do it but again I have no idea how much of this stuff is half-truths or just plain lies.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 10:13:53 2021 No.18781149 >>18781114 Sucks, sorry to hear that.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 10:15:09 2021 No.18781154 >>18779477 Which is?

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 10:19:58 2021 No.18781172 >>18780973 Maybe a YouTube instead?

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 10:45:31 2021 No.18781294 File: 201 KB, 500x634, everything-that-we-know-and-love-is-reducible-to-the-19937119.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>18780881 >>18780776

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 10:53:20 2021 No.18781327 >>18779401 Not them but it stops my muscles twitching. I like getting high too, but I look like I'm having a medical episode without it.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 11:00:31 2021 No.18781351 >>18779699 Speaking as someone who buys far too many folklore related books, I'd buy this above Marquez. Regional isolated beliefs are like the mana of the genre.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 11:07:24 2021 No.18781384

>>18779556
a life worth living is being happy. being happy generally involves people around you to be happy, so helping others around you. being happy long term generally involves being healthy and having friends, having freetime/money to an extent, having the capacity for aesthetic pleasure, etc, etc.

happiness is the key, and nothing matters without it (to the ire of many people who proudly proclaim "i don't believe what i believe because it makes me happy, i believe what i believe because it's correct!" <--- let these losers be, sad and die)

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 11:36:14 2021 No.18781506

>>18781384
>a life worth living is being happy
>aesthetic pleasure
>he can't in2 mono no aware
>no bonebreaking heart rending sublime
I hate to say this to you bruv but PB Shelley was a better human than you, and he was an annoying begatarian faggot who cried on street corners

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 11:39:23 2021 No.18781524 >>18781506 >doesnt even desire to be happy >cant speak excepting oblique greentexts you understand i feel nothing but pity for you right? there's nothing else to feel toward someone this deluded

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 11:43:21 2021 No.18781542 >>18781524 >Curiosity creeps into the homes of the unfortunate and needy under the disguise of "pity"... That's a fourth literary reference to go over your head.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 11:48:03 2021 No.18781564 >>18781542 does sitting around being sad by choice make you happy? what about not being able to have an opinion of your own? you've read yourself stupid

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 11:49:35 2021 No.18781570 >>18781564 Do you think we have pain receptors for nothing? That loss does not make life more precious? How underread and unempathetic and frankly unrealistic.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 11:52:06 2021 No.18781583

implying people have the vaguest idea of what the fuck they're talkinga bout. when people mention 'aesthetics' they probably imagine some anime girl. when they say 'pleasure' they probably think the dopamine kick of addiction
it's over, the basic concepts of life themselves are warped

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 11:56:29 2021 No.18781606 >>18781524 >brb gonna fight the Romantics >And the Japanese Are you sure you're not looking for a bad end, anon?

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 12:14:07 2021 No.18781692
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[ERROR]

>>18781570
>>18781570
>That loss does not make life more precious?
I agree completely, the unity of opposites, etc, that most nihilists I've talked to don't seem to understand that infinity would not solve their problems, yes, but there's nothing unrealistic or unread or unempathetic about wanting to be happy. And again I pity you for having seemingly read yourself into purgatory on this subject.

I consider "Do what makes you happy" a very clear rule of thumb, something anyone can understand, as opposed to the existentialist sentiment Become Who You Already Are, even if happiness is only the "side effect" tacked onto doing what you want to do, being who you want to be, although it's not merely a side effect because if the prospect of happiness weren't there, the vision would be gone also

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 12:19:30 2021 No.18781718 >>18781606 I don't think I'm fighting yin and ying here because I think the desire is necessary to keeping them both together

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 12:20:08 2021 No.18781722

>>18781692
>but there's nothing unrealistic or unread or unempathetic about wanting to be happy
>he thinks he can backtrack not knowing major movements of aesthetics like people will pretend Goethe is not a big deal
>he denies the unity of opposites he just poopooed people for not understanding
>claims most nihilists he's talked to don't understand that: he ignored Schopenhauer, Nietzsche, and Shelley references
>thinks he can backtrack this on /lit/
Yes, that is underread and unrealistic to the point you cannot tell the people you talk to and look down on are just as poorly educated as you.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 12:21:10 2021 No.18781728 >>18781718 I think you should proofread.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 12:22:26 2021 No.18781734 >>18781728 So he can confuse the Chinese with the Japanese more completely?

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 12:23:31 2021 No.18781740 >>18780123 I don't need to when it's normal to feel unhappy at times.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 12:25:07 2021 No.18781756 >>18781734 Ha, holy shit, I didn't even see he was in a chain about mono no aware and Japanese. I just thought he was shit at common Chinese loanwords.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 12:28:54 2021 No.18781773

>>18781722
>claims most nihilists he's talked to don't understand that: he ignored Schopenhauer, Nietzsche, and Shelley references
Where did they say otherwise? Where did Neitzsch argue infinity would solve a nihilists problems? What are you even talking about? Make an argument fucker, stop hiding behind greentext literary references
>he denies the unity of opposites
i brought it up, i agree with the unity of opposites, if you think i'm contradicting yourself then clearly point out the contradiction
>backtrack
how? again, point out the contradiction
>
Yes, that is underread and unrealistic to the point you cannot tell the people you talk to and look down on are just as poorly educated as you.
You're so upset, hopefully this makes your happiness all the more precious LOL

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 12:30:08 2021 No.18781778 >>18781728 >>18781734 >>18781756 I'm well aware yin and yang is not japanese or romantic, but the general idea of enantiodromia is utterly ubiquitous, and the other anon brought it up, and it's most popularly understood as yin and yang

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 12:38:09 2021 No.18781826

>>18781773
>Where did Neitzsch argue infinity would solve a nihilists problems?
Where did you or anyone else in this thread make such a claim? Why does this supposed claim need a citation? Why did you not recognise any of those references (a quote in Nietzsche's case) without anon highlighting them? Could it be because you don't read enough? It's almost like the unity of opposites based in infinity is an idea solely located in your posts as a straw man argument generated by "nihilists [you] talked to" and you ignored any relevant unity of opposites that was temporal.
Temporarily is important to mono no aware, but if you are interested in Nietzsche's claims about temporality leading to the infinite, then the most famous passage is the Grave Song. Which you would know if you read.
>how? [Is this a backtrack]
Well, it's pretty obvious what you're doing to anyone who does actually know anything about aesthetics from the 17th century on in Western or Eastern canons. Particularly as they are aesthetics known to test for status by who catches the references and demonstrates knowledge of the allusions' context, which you would know of course from reading if you had.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 12:39:37 2021 No.18781838 >>18781778 Dude, you used the wrong term and spelt it wrong. It's not time to double down on it being vague enough to get away with.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 12:58:00 2021 No.18781946

>>18781826
>Why does this supposed claim need a citation? Why did you not recognise any of those references (a quote in Nietzsche's case) without anon highlighting them?
Because you said "claims most nihilists he's talked to don't understand that: he ignored X, Y, X references". I understood this as you disagreeing with me, and claiming those philosophers were as well (which seems to be the case because you seem to be using Neitzch's Grave Song to argue that point). I brought it up in the first place, along with the unity of opposites, to point out that I understand the idea of "loss making life more precious", which I connect to the (imo) misunderstanding that no loss (infinity) would somehow solve nihilism. It's not a strawman because I was agreeing with you - I didn't even intend it as an argument against anything you said. The point was that I got your point, but I thought those things were totally irrelevant to my point.

>Which you would know if you read.
>Could it be because you don't read enough?
No I "don't read enough" neither do you if you're shitposting on WOYM threads, and I have not read absolutely everything you've read, including TSZ. Why so smug? Why not just make arguments without forcing me to sort through someone else's thoughts put down as fiction?

> it's pretty obvious what you're doing to anyone who does actually know anything about aesthetics from the 17th century on in Western or Eastern canons. Particularly as they are aesthetics known to test for status by who catches the references and demonstrates knowledge of the allusions' context, which you would know of course from reading if you had
so is your litmus test to see if i'm worthy to argue with you? what is the point? just make an argument, this is all so convoluted and frankly cringe

>>18781838
What did I spell wrong or what am I being vague about? Get away with what?

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 13:10:40 2021 No.18782026

>>18779401
Because I have, for some reason, never felt more energetic. I can concentrate quite well and it makes reading a lot easier for me (ADHD.) Also I've been sober from alcohol for 3 months which is a record. Yes, I understand I've replaced one drug with another, but if I'm responding well to dude weed lmao I might keep it up sporadically.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 13:11:32 2021 No.18782029 bro fuck dominos bro. how do you fuck up cheesy bread. they didnt even include the marinara. what the fuck.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 13:14:03 2021 No.18782043 File: 68 KB, 1280x720, maxresdefault.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>18782029 oh my lawd dude fuuck

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 13:16:40 2021 No.18782065

>>18781946
>no it's your fault I didn't understand that the straw man argument I attributed to people I talked to actually has more textual support than I thought
If you want to blame people for you being wrong about them, you might want to start with the writers of the Romantic and Heian periods, and the publishers who keep them in print, rather than just the people who read them and point out you haven't.
This is why anon is pointing out you are not well read; if you were familiar with any text on the subject, you would have known your strawman nihilists had no basis in mainstream nihilism, and that the major lights of the movements anon referenced were relevant and what parts of the texts made them revelant.
For example: look at your tone in reference to Nietzsche's Grave Song. It's clear you haven't read it, when it's one of the most famous passages in literature. You don't know how far from well read you are, so you need to be spoonfed ways you are fucking up. You are digging a deeper hole by pretending that getting into a thread where you didn't hear the dog whistle anon put in for people who actually read those works was not a mistake. You're not going to convince people who read texts which call people out for that kind of hollow pride that the text actually says something different.

>>Could it be because you don't read enough?
>No I "don't read enough" neither do you if you're shitposting on WOYM threads
I'm spoonfeeding you references for your own strawmen. I definitely read enough to support even your supposed opposition. I also read enough to see anon was hunting for prey like you because the only reason you put in those kinds of dog whistles is because you want to pwn someone who doesn't know the depth of reading they're about to face. Read more, so your reaction to people knowing more than you is not pity. Shame would be better than pity.

Frater Asemlen !XS8vrClKs2 Wed Aug 4 13:18:32 2021 No.18782079

I am excited for my next project, 30 short stories arranged according to the structure of the sephiroth,30 aethyrs, the three essentials and the 91 parts of the earth model, consisting of 3 pages each, each page precisely 10 paragraphs long, each paragraph 72 syllables long. It will be fun to pour my autistic studies of world folklore, religion and occultism along with my own imagination so much into one piece.

I’m gonna take my time with it as I want to put much care in.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 13:21:17 2021 No.18782093 I feel like a lot of mad ideas and ways of seeing life have now established and solidified inside my mind. I'm probably a very akward and cringy person but I feel very happy.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 13:23:40 2021 No.18782115

It seems to me that there’s a certain flavor of heroic literature, even in prose, which thrived prior to Shakespeare and then disappeared after Shakespeare with only few exceptions. What I want to know is why and if I’m wrong, what forms has heroic literature taken on since Shakespeare?

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 13:24:10 2021 No.18782119 >>18781946 >What did I spell wrong or what am I being vague about? Get away with what >all those Ching Chong languages sound the same and all the words mean the same thing K then

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 13:32:52 2021 No.18782176 >>18782079 hey frater, if you had to suggest a work of lit as a remedy for despair, what would it be?

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 13:40:54 2021 No.18782245

>>18782065
>I definitely read enough to support even your supposed opposition. I also read enough to see anon was hunting for prey like you because the only reason you put in those kinds of dog whistles is because you want to pwn someone who doesn't know the depth of reading they're about to face. Read more, so your reaction to people knowing more than you is not pity. Shame would be better than pity.
Dog whistles, hunting for prey like me, me "wanting to pwn someone who is less read"? How are you not just as deluded as the other guy (which is where my pity stems from)? All I did was reply to the anon looking for a life worth living, and gave my opinion (>>18781384), and this other anon replied to me about how I'm worse than an annoying begatarian faggot who cried on street corners.
>If you want to blame people for you being wrong about them, you might want to start with the writers of the Romantic and Heian periods, and the publishers who keep them in print, rather than just the people who read them and point out you haven't.
Who am I blaming for being wrong about who?
>This is why anon is pointing out you are not well read; if you were familiar with any text on the subject, you would have known your strawman nihilists had no basis in mainstream nihilism
Ah I thought you meant I was strawmanning you, in that case, alright, sure, I got what I said from personal anecdotes, maybe I'm strawmanning "true" nihilism.
>For example: look at your tone in reference to Nietzsche's Grave Song. It's clear you haven't read it, when it's one of the most famous passages in literature.
It's clear I haven't read it because I literally said I haven't read it. How many passages do you think qualify as "one of the most famous passages in literature"? There's plenty I haven't read, sure, you can deny that about yourself, whatever,
>You don't know how far from well read you are, so you need to be spoonfed ways you are fucking up.
What I need is an argument but all you offer is "discussion about the discussion" and half-quoting thinkers in greentext and saying "I've read more than you have! You disagree? Read this book!"
>You are digging a deeper hole by pretending that getting into a thread where you didn't hear the dog whistle anon put in for people who actually read those works was not a mistake.
What anon? Why do you keep claiming that I'm digging holes and doubling down? I'm responding to every point as clearly and concisely as I can, just make an argument. We were talking about a life worth living and its relation to happiness.

>>18782119
anon.. this is getting pathetic. what did i spell wrong? do you want to discuss the differences between yin and yang and enantiodromia? what are you even arguing at this point?

>>	Frater Asemlen !XS8vrClKs2 Wed Aug 4 13:42:40 2021 No.18782256 >>18782176 Bible especially New Testament, especially the gospels, and the wisdom lit of the Old Testament. If you want something else try boethius or anatomy of melancholy, or just a bunch of kino poetry.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 13:42:48 2021 No.18782257

It's honestly unsettling how stupid the average /pol/ poster is. Just browsing that board out of morbid curiosity you see them committing basic factual errors and spurious arguments in almost every thread. And the net effect of this stupidity is to plunge them deeper into a thick, immobilizing tar pit of ignorance. They're trapped in their own hallucinated post-truth misinformation bubble. The board is like some kind of noise amplifier that muddies the signal and allows the stupid to make each other stupider. Worse, it's a willful sort of ignorance, ignorance which is raised like a shield to defend itself against the truth and rationality.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 13:43:51 2021 No.18782268 >>18782257 t. saw le badwordthought and was frazzled

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 13:44:17 2021 No.18782276

Serious post not even bait I wish it was.

I just found out I may actually be mentally retarded and I have been struggling to accept I am a retard despite always suspecting I was a retard.
this really is hard to deal with when you find out and although it has not seemed to hinder me in any way it just makes me angry at my existence and sad in a way.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 13:48:36 2021 No.18782308 >>18782257 They have lost their minds but that's what being exposed to clown world for too much time does to your mind. They are still right about many things.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 13:48:53 2021 No.18782314 >>18782276 I guess we're dealing with a pretty vague concept of retardation here, because you sure don't seem to type like a retard

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 13:50:44 2021 No.18782325 >>18782257 What is most disturbing is how proud and obstinate they are in their irrationality.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 13:50:58 2021 No.18782327 >>18782257 Genuine shilling has destroyed the place but during times like the election or a happening good shit comes from it. Interesting place to keep an eye on, cancerous as fuck to interact with.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 13:51:18 2021 No.18782330 >>18782256 yeah, should've said other than the bible, it often tends to have the opposite effect on me. thank you for the recs

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 13:52:27 2021 No.18782339

>>18782314
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypsEJcyouy8
This is the mental retardation I am meant to be afflicted with and it seems it must be very mild for me. The odd thing is that people have no clue and have even thought I am actually intelligent but it turns out I may have a retardation. No matter how mild a retardation is a retardation.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 13:54:17 2021 No.18782348

>>18782339
>Fragile X syndrome (FXS) is a genetic disorder characterized by mild-to-moderate intellectual disability. The average IQ in males is under 55,
you think you have an iq of 55? if that were the case you wouldn't even be able to figure out how to post on this website

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 13:54:51 2021 No.18782349 >>18782339 You're just realizing how dumb you actually are after being a cocky teenager. This is normal for people in their 20s.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 13:56:49 2021 No.18782361

>>18782348
A doctor seems to think I have this for some reason and I need follow up testing but I am afraid of getting the test (genetic testing) as I worry I will actually be irredeemably retarded. I imagine it is on a spectrum .
>>18782349
>You're just realizing how dumb you actually are after being a cocky teenager.
No this is not the case at all and I have never thought of myself as smart regardless of others opinions.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 13:57:44 2021 No.18782371 >>18782245 >anon.. this is getting pathetic. what did i spell wrong? do >>>18781718

Frater Asemlen !XS8vrClKs2 Wed Aug 4 13:59:16 2021 No.18782382
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[ERROR]

>>18782330
Not a problem, though others consider it boring if you want what I consider maybe my favorite novel without any overt mysticism or the like, try out Goethe’s apprenticeship, it’s a highly intellect harem light novel basically. If however you want to contemplate your melancholy, Baudelaire is another lovely option.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 14:01:58 2021 No.18782402

>>18782245
>No I'd like to keep pitying the people who read more than me and spoonfed me proof they read more and sure I'm going to admit I didn't read enough but I should still be able to pity the anon who pointed out I didn't read and have unrealistic expectations of where ignorance will get me
Well, that's a kind of hell I wouldn't wish on anyone. Seriously, try reading before discussing the author. It's much easier, and you'll spend less of your life feeling unfounded pity.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 14:10:10 2021 No.18782463

>>18782371
yes anon... i agree, that was a spelling mistake... that i made in a 4chan post (that i later didnt make twice before you ever pointed it out >>18781778). this is no longer pathetic and my entire worldview is null and void over it. congrats

>>18782402
>Well, that's a kind of hell I wouldn't wish on anyone.
Yes, what I really meant was "even outside the context of this conversation, in the shower, I devote my thoughts to you, pitying you, you live rent free in my brain". That is, I definitely can't convince you otherwise.
>Seriously, try reading before discussing the author.
Anon, I'm not trying to discuss any author, I made this post >>18781384 replying to a guy, also not (as far as I can tell) discussing any author. This is what I want to discuss, this is what I've wanted to discuss from the beginning. The other guy brought up PB Shelley, and Nietzsche, kept throwing literary references at me, the romantics, the japanese, he (you?) also said "That loss does not make life more precious?" which to me sounds like the unity of opposites and like concepts (again, not any particular author) to point out that I totally AGREE, but again, >>18781718 don't think is relevant.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 14:10:26 2021 No.18782466 >>18782382 thanks, I'll give it a read. I also don't mind mysticism so if you have anything more in that vein, I'll take it

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 14:17:54 2021 No.18782516

>>18782463
>was a spelling mistake... that i made in a 4chan post (that i later didnt make twice before you ever pointed it out >>18781778 #). this is no longer pathetic and my entire worldview is null and void over it. congrats
You made a spelling mistake on a term that is wrong. Correcting the spelling mistake doesn't solve the major error. It's still wrong. Like, dude, do you really think the Japanese and Chinese are going to change their language?

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 14:20:44 2021 No.18782541 >>18782516 If he keeps telling them in an internet debate >dude trust me, I pity everyone who demonstrates how I'm wrong maybe they will?

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 14:22:18 2021 No.18782552

>>18782516
>You made a spelling mistake on a term that is wrong.
You mean I used it wrong? Or you have some issue with the term itself? I brought it up because it's the more popular version of the idea of the necessity of opposites (I was responding to loss making life more precious as an example of yin and yang).

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 14:23:19 2021 No.18782560 >>18782552 >oh did I miss the meaning of mono no aware? Yes.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 14:25:30 2021 No.18782569 >>18782552 >>18782560 Is this a troll to get an anime website to explain what mono no aware is? This looks like 0/10 12 y/o shitposting, why are you even replying to him?

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 14:27:47 2021 No.18782582 >>18782569 I think the dude might be that dumb. But yeah, I feel baited. Like this is like "how 2 read?" threads, wtf.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 14:28:37 2021 No.18782586 Nothing, I'm tripping on LSD at the moment. This board gives a different impression while under the influence. Have fun my lit people, don't get lost.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 14:32:24 2021 No.18782610 パンツはぼくがAWAREですようwww

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 14:34:18 2021 No.18782622 File: 56 KB, 600x800, ac6.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >パンツはぼくがAWAREですようwww

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 14:37:06 2021 No.18782634 >>18782622 Like he has pants on under that

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 14:40:30 2021 No.18782653

>>18782560
>>18782569
>>18782582
I very clearly brought those ideas up in response to that other question that was posed, about life and loss, which I agreed with, I wasn't responding to "mono no aware". Which you keep saying like a recorder without expanding upon it at all, how you think it relates to and contradicts what I'm saying, etc. But instead what I'm getting is these oblique responses and samefagging (yes, I know, take my meds, etc, etc, but at the very least I know you know, and that's enough) for the past hour and pathetic metadiscussion to avoid engaging on any points.

>>18782586
have fun dont get lost either

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 14:46:17 2021 No.18782685

>>18782653
>I thought the anon defending mono no aware as an aesthetic was not talking about mono no aware when he mentioned the ephemeral nature of things
Yes, that is a major misunderstanding of the subject, to which you misapplied a misspelt term. I still feel trolled for having to explain this to your dumbass. Sorry to other anons for giving this dude (You)s. Idk if he'll get it, but I'm done now. I feel like I should ban myself from /a/ if I'm going to respond to idiots.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 14:47:59 2021 No.18782699 >>18782685 /a/ hasn't been good for years. it's the way of things.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 14:53:56 2021 No.18782730

>>18782685
>I thought the anon defending mono no aware as an aesthetic was not talking about mono no aware when he mentioned the ephemeral nature of things
Once again I was responded to a point he made, which he refuses to respond to, which may or may not relate to a concept that "he" never once even made an attempt to try to relate to anything I said other than just saying "tfw mono no aware tfw mono no aware tfw mono no aware".

>which you misapplied a misspelt term
omg i misspelt a word! and i'm totally trolling you! and i somehow misapplied it which is something that you (also) haven't even bothered explaining either. sure, loss making life more precious is not at all an example of yin and ying, keep your mind in the gutter and you'll win in no time

> I still feel trolled for having to explain this to your dumbass. Sorry to other anons for giving this dude (You)s. Idk if he'll get it, but I'm done now. I feel like I should ban myself from /a/ if I'm going to respond to idiots.
imagine being so angry that you create a tulpa and then "rage quit" from the discussion. yes, i bet you're done now, thank god now I only have to argue with one personality

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 14:57:53 2021 No.18782755 >>18779360 Booba was fat Booba was milkful Booba had pleasent stink I suckle the booba The boob twitcha It spraya milk All ova ma face'a

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 15:16:08 2021 No.18782917 So i think the spirit of /b/ has shifted to /pol/, not /b/ in its current state but when it was about raiding and lulz. It's cool. People say the Internet is dead, and it is, but its spirit lives on. We'll manage somehow, not just /pol/ but all of us.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 15:19:13 2021 No.18782940

Another thread deleted just as I was replying, classic:

>>>/lit/thread/S18780810#p18782497

My reply:

>"Debunking" climate change:

>Assume that everything its prophets say is true, why does any of it matter? No one knows how many taxa there SHOULD be, how many individuals per taxon, how long SHOULD any and all taxa exist, etc. No one makes the argument of human impact in good conscience: if climate change will make some people's lives worse then surely there are some people who currently are "climate hostages", suffering the current climate's extreme parameters, why does the potential plight of potential people outweigh the actual plight of actual people? Moreover, per Materialism, the ONLY Ontology sanctioned by the climate change prophets, the Phenomenal world is a mere coincidence of the grossly Phenomenal, the ground and the sky, the "natural" Biosphere, wild animals and plants, and the "artificial" Biosphere, livestock for human use, far from being complementary, their relation is one of mutual indifference, if not opposition.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 15:26:06 2021 No.18782980

>>18782940
I'm climate agnostic. I don't give a fug whether climate change is man-made or real or whatever, but I like the idea of technological advancement when it comes to fuels and certainly cleaning plastics from our oceans and preserving nature. You're completely right though, but if tech advancements are feasible and beneficial then they should be implemented. Also "climate change" is definitely a psyop and a political weapon used for corrupt lobbies to embezzle money and influence politicians and the public.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 15:28:58 2021 No.18782994

>>18782980
>Also "climate change" is definitely a psyop and a political weapon used for corrupt lobbies to embezzle money and influence politicians and the public.
Thanks for that brilliant observation captain obvious!
>I don't give a fug whether climate change is man-made or real or whatever, but I like the idea of technological advancement when it comes to fuels and certainly cleaning plastics from our oceans and preserving nature.
Never gonna happen. Don't expect world leaders and multi-billionaire cocksuckers to do anything about the biosphere.
The future looks bleak.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 15:29:44 2021 No.18783003 "Black Plague" is definitely a psyop and a political weapon used for corrupt guilds to embezzle gold and influence nobles and the public.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 15:30:53 2021 No.18783013 >>18783003 They could all see the bodies dropping for themselves

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 15:31:44 2021 No.18783021 >>18783013 False flags dude, poison. Ever heard of the phrase "poisoning the wells?"

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 15:32:29 2021 No.18783026 >>18783013 NICE try Jew. We all know that there is no "Plague" just Jewish poisoning. There is no reason to close the ports and borders.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 15:33:06 2021 No.18783032 >>18783026 >>18783021 There are still no bodies on the street today lol

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 15:33:48 2021 No.18783036 >>18783032 There are islands going underneath ocean and tangible increases in extreme weather events.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 15:35:22 2021 No.18783048 >>18783032 that's what lockdown was for retard, so you wouldn't see

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 15:37:15 2021 No.18783059 >>18783036 There are always islands sinking, that has nothing to do with climate change, and this increase in storms, supposing it is even real, is not necessarily related either

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 15:38:07 2021 No.18783068 File: 193 KB, 462x347, 1549621429132.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Days feels like they're going too fast. I don't like this feeling.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 15:47:46 2021 No.18783137 The world is so insane nowadays it just makes me want to withdraw even more.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 15:53:53 2021 No.18783189 >>18783137 Me too. Had a series of unfortunate events occur too and the aftermath resulted in me never being so alone. I like it now, it's quiet and I can think.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 15:55:48 2021 No.18783207 >>18783137 I firmly believe you should if you have the means.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 15:56:02 2021 No.18783209 >>18783189 *in me being incredibly isolated and alone

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 15:56:53 2021 No.18783215 >>18781085 Same. He's garbage.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 15:57:24 2021 No.18783218 >never knew what i want >all choices were pick the worst or worse >have freedom to choose >dont know what i cant seem to intuitively pick it up like other people do

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 16:02:53 2021 No.18783246

>>18782994
>Thanks for that brilliant observation captain obvious!
think I emphasized it because I used to do shit with environmentalists/animal rights when I was in my late teens and I'm trying to unlearn that viewpoint while at the same time come to realize and grasp the true vastness of just how fucked it is.
>Never gonna happen
Hope for the best, expect the worst sadly.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 16:25:52 2021 No.18783389 File: 24 KB, 540x495, 1592927085954.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >third world shithole >still forced to take the vax to get back into my university campus I have never bribed someone, but it must be done.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 17:04:03 2021 No.18783654 File: 77 KB, 306x306, 1626001433860.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Je bois pour oublier La somme de mes médiocrités, Et mes altiers idéaux brisés, Je n'ai à ce jour encor rien achevé.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 17:43:47 2021 No.18783937

>>18782382
>Goethe’s apprenticeship
Based, this is my favorite book. By the way, Frater do you have any thoughts on the Shia alchemist Jabir ibn Hayyan? He is said to have been a disciple of Imam Sadiq, and as you know, Shias believe Imams innately possess the greatest sort of divine knowledge. I am curious how, if at all, his approach to alchemy is different from the other ones.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 18:18:10 2021 No.18784173
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>>18779360
I post "imagine the smell" at least 10 times every day and chuckle to myself every time. Mother asked what I'm chuckling at and I replied "oh nothing... can you smell something?" No she replies as I continue chuckling to myself.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 18:19:09 2021 No.18784181 I AM SO FUCKING BORED ALL THE FUCKING TIME AND I HAVE NOTHING THAT RELIEVE THE BOREDOM

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 18:20:18 2021 No.18784190 >>18783389 I decided to just drop out. I hate this country and take pleasure in acting the parasite

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 18:22:10 2021 No.18784203

>>18783189
I'm the same. Had a shitty year when I was 18 and ended up totally isolated. I've branched out a little but am mostly alone now. I don't mind it much but sometimes I just want company. I try to go out and see whats happening and realize everything is so depraved that it's better to suffer lonliness

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 18:59:53 2021 No.18784400

>>18782276
I constantly ask myself if I come off like a retard. Sometimes I wonder if I'm simply too stupid to figure out that people are being nice to me because I aam retarded.
I've made a thing today and asked for an opinion and everyone was like "ohhh wonderful" when it was obviously garbage full of imperfections. Is this pity? I don't know.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 19:10:37 2021 No.18784458

Those who delve deeper into the swamp of vice are doomed to complete fall. If I had known, I wouldn't have gotten into it. It has been said that "ignorance is bliss" but knowledge for the owner of the mind is another mind that protects from many evils.
>t. A slave of lust.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 19:13:52 2021 No.18784473

>woke up at around 8 am after going to sleep at around 1.20 am
>browsed internet instead of sleeping more
>lied in bed for a further 20 minutes, got up and started working
>worked; extremely uneventful day at work; warm and sunny day
>bought a yat during lunch break for $205, on a whim
>finished work
>went outside after work
>went driving and decided to walk through park before drinking coffee in car
>walked through park while listening to podcasts
>drank coffee in car while browsing internet on phone
>bought binge food on way home; ate lots of carby food, felt fat
>now lying in bed; the time between 6.30, when I reached the park, and midnight, feels like it went by immediately
>seeing the sky darken after 9 pm, after walking in a hot and sunny day a few hours previously, was demoralising

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 19:23:10 2021 No.18784529 >>18784458 This reminds me, i gotta go jack off

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 19:29:04 2021 No.18784568 >>18779360 How do we get rid of the jew problem

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 19:32:18 2021 No.18784588 Writing was the last thing I wanted to do, but the more I try to force myself to write, the more I feel paralyzed. I’ve come undone and I’m forced now face up to the reality that it’s probably not for me. Nothing is. I’m done here.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 19:54:00 2021 No.18784673 Oh holy FUCK my fuck huge tree in my backyard just fell over. The thing was with our family for over 150 years. It fell on open grass but god damn it could have fallen on the house. The tree was a good tree.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 19:54:17 2021 No.18784676

>last time on /lit/
>anon thought Tale of the Genji was written in kanji
>this time on /lit/
>half the shitposting thread is trying to explain mono no aware to a noob
>nobody even makes Naruto jokes when he claims the Japanese equivalent of Yin Yang is Mono no Aware
Did becoming a weeb get so popular we now have a lower grade of pseud?

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 19:56:46 2021 No.18784682 Did /lit/ get a lot worse in the past couple months? I only started frequenting here about 3 years ago but I feel the board quality has gone way downhill lately.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 20:02:41 2021 No.18784697
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>>18781384
I would disagree. Thanks for bringing it up, though, because now that I think about it, I will add a new section to the Life Algorithm: Suffering.

suffering = desire
> desire = that which you want to achieve but yet cannot achieve

I'm not too sure on how to expand from this. However, I do believe suffering and desire are important aspects of a life worth living. Suffering and desire show to us what we want to achieve but yet cannot. It's through this acute suffering and kindling desire that either propels a man forward or pummel a man to the ground. Indeed, the way I see it, it's not happiness that pulls you forward but the desire and suffering that leaves you no choice but to fix the pain. Anons talk about their vices and habits, and how their lives are miserable and no one cares about them—they then talk about how they themselves go to fix their problem but ultimately fail. They tried This or That—and despite their efforts—they failed. To them, perhaps what they need is even more suffering and mind-rending desire so that they are incredibly disappointed and incredibly disgusted in themselves that, utterly, they have two options left: fix it or suicide. The best way to visualize this is through a burning home: you either escape through all your might, having your flesh singe the more you continue or you simply burn to death.

The source of all greatness is not the happiness one seeks from achievement—the proof being is that the happiness itself is not permanent; happiness is ever-changing and becomes boring the same way one's taste of things change and evolve. The source of all greatness comes not from happiness, but through the suffering and desire that leaves you no choice but to become great.

>What is greatness?
I have no clue. But I do know one thing: academics cannot define it nor can dictionaries because both can only speak of the definition. Not its significance.

What else am I missing overall in this life algorithm?

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 20:03:10 2021 No.18784698 >>18779480 damn, same bro hoping a high dose trip will set me over the edge. apparently 5 wasn't enough.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 20:03:17 2021 No.18784700 >>18784682 /lit/ was always shit, the difference is that you're finally noticing it.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 20:07:37 2021 No.18784717
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>>18784676
>half the thread is just a mental ill poster resorting to samefagging and refusing to make arguments and pretending anybody said yin and yang = mono no aware, while autistically repeating that phrase over and over, and eventually rage quitting and now monologuing to himself like anybody else not invested in this shit would care in the slightest
ftfy

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 20:09:18 2021 No.18784721 >>18784717 DBZ fan?

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 20:24:28 2021 No.18784794 >>18784698 Its gonna make you worse

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 20:36:42 2021 No.18784838 >>18784700 disagree it got substantially worse since the lockdown, and for years before then

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 20:40:56 2021 No.18784847

>>18784697
If suffering is desire, and is the source of greatness, would your algorithm then prioritize suffering? That would be curious, like an "actually negative" utilitarianism... but that sounds awful

Nietzsche seemed to have an "algorithm" for happiness, that is,
>My formula for happiness: a Yes, a No, a straight line, a goal.
And he seemed to agree with you that happiness isn't permanent but it is found in the pursuit of a "goal", a looking outward towards something higher, and so is a side effect of striving to achieve greatness (someone can correct me if I'm wrong, my Nietzsch comes from anthology fragments and academic papers), and so happiness is found IN the striving, but not as anything ultimately attainable. But if our striving to achieve makes us happy (which is why we bother?), then it seems at the end of the day like we're stuck in this mind-body (life-happiness) dualism, where one could argue that happiness is an epiphenomenal biproduct of everything we bother doing, but not technically why we do it

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 20:43:42 2021 No.18784862 >>18784721 yeah draggin my ballZ across your face

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 20:46:46 2021 No.18784877 I can't overcome the feeling that I will never be as intelligent as I would like to be.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 20:47:22 2021 No.18784881 I want writers to be cool again. I want successful authors to have the same admiration from the public that popular musicians and actors have. We need a 'cool' author to become successful and break the preconception that writers are all weird nerds.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 20:48:19 2021 No.18784883 >>18779484 it will give you brain damage

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 20:52:30 2021 No.18784902 >>18784862 kek explains the psychotic reaction to Naruto

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 20:54:23 2021 No.18784906
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>>18784902
>psychotic
i know the truth here, and you know i know, and nobody else in this thread cares. seek help

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 21:01:47 2021 No.18784934 I like these Dragonball themed WWOYMs

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 21:01:51 2021 No.18784935 >>18784906 Were you the Tale of the Genji anon too or something?

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 21:04:32 2021 No.18784947 >>18783137 I just want to find my people. I know they exist and I have a couple friends I trust, but they are scattered around, atomized.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 21:05:21 2021 No.18784949 nigga balls balls nigga

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 21:08:48 2021 No.18784962 >>18784190 I would drop out but I got some kind of pseudo-scholarship and I can't do it without getting my ass fucked.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 21:53:00 2021 No.18785153 Modernism really did kill the hero.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 21:58:34 2021 No.18785179

Honest to god, books suck now. If all books written before the 19th century were removed from the public sphere of consciousness, I think I’d have maybe a dozen or so books I actually like and beyond that would have virtually no interest. 2 damn centuries and almost none of it is actually good, interesting, and fun.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 22:10:19 2021 No.18785214 How the fuck do I get pass a permanent ban? I'm on starbucks wifi right now. I tried changing ip address multiple times but it doesn't work. It even linked it to my phone network and banned me on that. Vpn doesn't work, tor doesn't work

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 22:14:08 2021 No.18785239

>>18779360
I have felt tugs of a strange, not unwelcome emotion today. Somewhere between melancholy and sexual arousal and genuine love. It's like feeling lonely, but I wish only to sink further into myself. I see myself as I should be seen. I'm eccentric but beautiful. Contained in me is so much desire, it goes deeper than just needing some other human soul to attach itself to me, recognize, or validate me. That's not it. It's a love sickness for the unknown within myself. The natural, sexual, self, historical, ancestral unknown. Is it a knowledge that on some invisible plane I am loved, recognized, validated all the time with or without my attention? Burst and bring forth this world where I am the shroom-munching, moss-treading creature of my daytime reveries! Come on, I'm waiting. It feels good, these tugs. Poking a bruise. It says "Don't you want to cry? Or fuck something? You could fall in love with someone new and experience how beautiful you really are" But I know the truth: that climbing the most beautiful mountain wouldn't satisfy. Nor would fucking the bustiest, most gorgeous velvet-pussied muse or Zeus-cocked stud. There is no solution. The feeling is a riddle. Maybe the feeling is its own reward. I remember nostalgically the excitement of a looming teenage rendezvous on a waning summer evening. It's not a feeling of emptiness but of fullness. Full of the life that can not ever feel fully lived. A moment full of the livable lives I didn't choose. The part inside which can't be present, which needs so badly to be distracted, where is it if not in the moment? It feels like a cold knife slipped into my heart. Maybe these are the moments I was supposed to meet the one, my unknown love from an unchosen path.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 22:20:22 2021 No.18785263 Going to read A Hippo's Banquet by Mary Kingsley to sneak some female authors into my reading list

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 23:12:50 2021 No.18785443 aware of monkey my life is shit it's raining outside

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 23:24:01 2021 No.18785472

I was just thinking about the nature of reading. The funny thing is, we already know all the words, but books are simply the same words, just in different order. It's strange how we can be so strongly affected by it. You know what I mean?
I guess the same could be said for music - it's just the same 12 tones in different combinations.
Heck, I guess you could say it about the whole universe - everything is made up of 92 elements in different arrangements.
Believe it or not, I'm not high.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 23:33:46 2021 No.18785506

>>18779360
Is it impressive to be able to reword songs someone else made and come up with lyrics on my own with the same number of syllables easily?

I wish it were, but I know its not and even if it were it doesn't mean anything in the end... I used to think I had to count syllables in my head to make anything poetic in a traditional way, but it seems like the little one line each things I used to normally write are actually poetic in a fairly traditional way.

Too bad there's no fucking point and I can never write anything that satisfies me.

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 23:42:21 2021 No.18785525 my job is bringing back mask mandates. i'm debating what is the best exit plan. i used to like this job, but now that i took the vax i'm not going back to huffing my own breath all day.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 23:49:07 2021 No.18785544

>>18785506
I remember one time I wrote this poem everyone really liked. Two, actually. And my teacher thought I plagiarized an actual author which was a whole thing.

But now nothing I write is ever fucking good enough. And I can't write stories. I tried writing a whole sci-fi thing once with this really ornate style in places. But it was just a few pages I could get like that and then, someone told me it wasn't story, and I realized I had no structure to it and to top it off, everything relied on time spent making turns of phrase and shit. The plot was barely thought out. When I started actually trying to expand from that, I noticed a whole clusterfuck of consistency issues. The timing of events made no sense. I didn't have a clear connection between the characters. I didn't have a beginning, middle and end.

Not only that, but when I tried to explain "what it was about" what the "central question" is to a writing teacher I could see my answer was too complicated and confused and he was growing bored.

Now, when I try to write... I just can't come up with anything interesting. All I see is a mass of confused crumpled paper scribbles in my head and even if I try to jot those down, I don't even know if its what *I* want to write.

I don't even know if I want to write. But then what else do I do? Learn an entire fucking art like music, drawing, or theatre and make investments into THAT shit? I already know how to write at least some kinds of writing. I know I need a creative outlet so I'm not stuck just doing work for college punctuated only by stupid youtube videos and vidya.

And you know what's funny is I don't even think by the end of my "safe" career - the career I intend to make money off of - I'll really even be able to do that because the state uni is actually asinine enough to meme a bout its good students and keep everyone else that goes through from getting a fucking a job after years of work. I don't think I can ever be happy. Not artistically, not career-wise, not economically, not socially, not romantically or sexually, not mentally, and probably soon not physically....

>>	Anonymous Wed Aug 4 23:50:16 2021 No.18785549 >>18785544 Why do people choose to lie that my intelligence matters? It doesn't. None of my resources matter. Nothing I do matters. My life continues to be a shit and I can barely cope with it in the moment.

Anonymous Wed Aug 4 23:59:16 2021 No.18785566

>>18785544
>>18785549
And then I keep getting tortured by these desires to be like Da Vinci or Victor Hugo or Ben Franklin... to express my thoughts, ideas, feelings and be respected for them. To contribute to science. To be able to do so many things, to be a main character when I'm clearly not.

I hate it. I hate that my own mind and upbringing has fucking lied to me that there's anything special about me. That I'm like Luke Skywalker, that I'm like fucking Frodo or Robinhood. Like I'm going to be Link or some JRPG character being able to travel around the world as I please. Maybe see space.

Maybe be respected and looked up to as that guy. Its just a natural gravitation.
Its just an ugly human fantasy for my rotting flesh.

Anonymous Thu Aug 5 00:03:07 2021 No.18785578

>>18785566
I feel like I could reach my hand up into my stomach, up through my lungs, my beating chest, and pull all the junk inside out of me and I would yet live the same as I do now. You could even hack off most of my brain I'll bet. It would make no difference.

Maybe I would then have a different life if you did that, in fact. But it would be equivalent.
Junk is junk.

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 00:06:55 2021 No.18785589 >>18784173 You stink

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 00:14:42 2021 No.18785626 >>18779522 >>18779525 >>18779509 >>18779482 >>18779448 >>18779447 >>18779443 40% of 4chan is female. That site sounds like fucking garbage.

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 00:17:53 2021 No.18785635 >>18779597 You need to learn new rhyming structures.

Anonymous Thu Aug 5 00:22:27 2021 No.18785646

>>18779598
Having a board dedicated only to females unless its literally about vaginal shit sounds like a terrible idea that would end up getting filled to the brim with unironic sexists and men pretending to be women. I also understand this idea of wanting to view a board and not participate in their arbitrarily exclusionary discussions when the ratio of male to female users on this site is insanely exaggerated anyway.

Anonymous Thu Aug 5 00:29:23 2021 No.18785657

Is it better to write fanfiction or nothing at all? I like writing fanfiction and miss it, but I've been trying for a year to write original fiction. I've written basically nothing. In the three months I was writing fanfic, I wrote 100,000+ words. I dunno bros, I get that OC is better but I want to do is write ASOIAF fanfics.

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 00:31:17 2021 No.18785663 >>18785646 >understand *don't understand.

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 00:54:54 2021 No.18785739 >>18785443 It's raining here in Mass, I like it. Same reason I like the snow, makes this concrete hellhole seem clean and alive.

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 01:04:49 2021 No.18785762 There should just be a tax on having kids Using birth control isn't hard and reproduction shouldn't be a right because it really affects all of society in a big way

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 01:06:35 2021 No.18785772 >>18785762 Cool, we'll just allow for more immigrants to balance out the population loss

Anonymous Thu Aug 5 01:11:22 2021 No.18785784
File: 134 KB, 850x478, __laffey_fate_and_2_more_drawn_by_nanaken_nana__sample-f7069a2f8e7baaf225320c5e9f0b1771.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
[ERROR]

My f friend showed me two of her short stories they are pretty cliché but enjoyable nonetheless. Now I want to write something that will make her admire me. Also, I'm gonna tell her I love her someday... Even if she have a boyfriend... I don't care! Follow your dreams!

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 01:28:59 2021 No.18785842 >>18779360 >Seeing the gf at 5pm >promised not to bust before I see her >wake up at 5am, super honry and with nothing to do ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Anonymous Thu Aug 5 01:29:39 2021 No.18785845

>>18779401
I smoked for a few years in my late twenties. It made me creative, and oddly enough grateful for the little things. I used to make something of a ritual of occasionally having a few puffs and laying in the tub, and letting all the little blessings pass in front of me. If I would get stuck on a piece of artwork, I would smoke and suddenly I could almost see something new coming together right in front of me. It made me courageous, and turned things into songs, but I know that doesn't make sense.
I quit, just to see what would happen, and it just doesn't tempt me anymore. I wouldn't mind trying it again.

Anonymous Thu Aug 5 01:39:36 2021 No.18785896

>>18785842
>gf is away with family
>im peak honry
>save my nut for 7 days until she comes back
>she comes back at 6 in the morning, and I only got 2-3 hours of sleep
>fuck her like an animal anyway
>feels 10x better and more sensitive
>hose of cum rushes out of my cock, cum so powerful my knees buckle and pass out so hard I astral project
>true story

Anonymous Thu Aug 5 01:45:23 2021 No.18785926

>>18785657
Yes, better than nothing. Hell, go full Hunter S Thompson and just type out other people's novels. Just remember to try to improve yourself everyday, and pay close attention, and read, read, read.

My thing isn't so much writing as it is painting. I have copied dozens of other paintings, sometimes as closely as possible, and I have learned more by this than anything else.

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 01:48:25 2021 No.18785939 THERE'S FUCKING CUM EVERYWHERE, OH MY GOD. MY PARENTS ARE GONNA KILL ME FUCK

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 01:51:51 2021 No.18785949 I always get nasal congestion when I have to do some work. What in the actual fuck

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 01:55:14 2021 No.18785964 >>18785949 It's your immune system telling you hold on there, runt, you're not built for work. I know because my brother is literally allergic to work.

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 02:14:49 2021 No.18786033 Do I need a reason to cut ties with a friend I don't like anymore or can I just do it? I don't feel like I have to explain myself

Anonymous Thu Aug 5 02:16:35 2021 No.18786042
File: 8 KB, 361x311, 1605210648703.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
[ERROR]

Ordered a large set of fried chickens. It should come with a drink. They sent a soda can. Not even a large fountain drink container with ice cubes. Just a can that you could buy at a convenient store. It's not even chilled. Fast food workers really should die

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 02:18:36 2021 No.18786047 Is it wrong to not want to work? if you've ever played neo scavenger, my ideal life would be as a tribesman in the ATN enclave. How retarded/unjust am I for feeling this way

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 02:20:20 2021 No.18786054 >>18786033 That depends. Do you respect them? I hate the zoomer self-care dont-have-to-explain-myself chasing-my-bliss no-apologies narcissism.

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 02:21:23 2021 No.18786059 >>18786042 >Ordering fast food items >expecting them to pamper you >not having any cold drinks in your house to drink

Anonymous Thu Aug 5 02:24:13 2021 No.18786068

>>18786054
I used to respect him but he's behaved totally differently in the last couple months than how I've ever known him to act in the 7 or so years that I've known him. That and he's completely unrepentant about the things he does or says, refuses to apologize because he's assured himself he's in the right, and then when (in this specific case), the other person tries to extend the olive branch and mend things (even when he's the one who fucked up to begin with), he's somehow convinced himself that there's some sinister undergirding to it all.

People make mistakes, I get that, but you don't get to make a mistake, then have everyone around you tell you you made a mistake, and then just keep going about your merry way without learning anything from it and crying all day about how you got a raw deal.

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 02:30:26 2021 No.18786098 File: 938 KB, 3672x2754, IMG_0011.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>18786042 >Not going to taco bell

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 02:32:07 2021 No.18786107 File: 159 KB, 1033x406, 9814102C-07A3-45A0-84D3-03FC3C59F618.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>18779360 I really like the sound her eyes make at the end of this gif

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 02:36:01 2021 No.18786117 >>18786098 Somebody gets it.

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 02:39:05 2021 No.18786127 >>18786107 based synesthesia bro?

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 02:40:35 2021 No.18786133 >>18786098 What should I get from taco bell today?

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 02:42:06 2021 No.18786138 >>18786133 Nacho Fries

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 02:44:16 2021 No.18786148 I will submit to escapism for a bit. Maybe a year.

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 02:44:49 2021 No.18786150 >>18786148 Why?

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 02:45:15 2021 No.18786152 >>18786098 Based. Also Gura is the best EN member.

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 02:53:39 2021 No.18786172 >>18786148 >escapism Do people still hate that?

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 02:54:23 2021 No.18786174 File: 14 KB, 500x590, 1618303503952.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>18779440 >.

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 02:55:21 2021 No.18786177 >>18786174 God, I hate wojack posts.

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 02:55:38 2021 No.18786178 >>18786150 I get a lot of ideas out of it. I'm having fun again. Last time I felt like this, four years ago, I felt the need to focus all my energy on applied, practical stuff. What waste of time and energy that was, got nothing out of it.

Anonymous Thu Aug 5 02:55:49 2021 No.18786179

I helped Butterfly out :3

I saw her posting and decided to make posts, not maybe perhaps what she was doing but what I would have wanted her to do, and shoved it in your faces. She now does all of those things, things that normal women her age (mid twenties) do. Now she loves me and I got an awesome committed woman out of this :3

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 02:56:26 2021 No.18786180 >>18786178 Why not just go full blown escapism.

Anonymous Thu Aug 5 02:57:49 2021 No.18786181

As a gay person sometimes I do think there's something hot in homosexuality being taboo, like the fact that it's "forbidden" is what makes it hot partly, and it's not so taboo anymore today. I hate to say it because it's so much safer to be perceived as a regular member of society not a freak and I don't want people to commit hate crimes against me but when I read about factual historical 19th century male/male romance where they had to keep it secret and shit and it was like "we pretend to be friends but nobody knows I'm fucking you in the ass" and guys had those crazy secret gay orgies and shit and decadent parties, there's something so exciting about it. Anyway I am aware I'm over-romanticizing it all because if I lived at that time I would get jailed for being a sodomite probably.

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 02:58:15 2021 No.18786182 >>18786178 You will get bored in three weeks.

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 02:58:16 2021 No.18786183 >>18786181 The fuck are you on about?

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 02:59:19 2021 No.18786185 >>18786183 Wrote what's on my mind

>>	the xi jinping of weed smoking !!oqyjkIO5smI Thu Aug 5 03:00:04 2021 No.18786187 i am high

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 03:00:12 2021 No.18786188 >>18786185 Reads like schizo rambling.

Anonymous Thu Aug 5 03:00:12 2021 No.18786189

DAE 'member the Go For A Punch creepypasta?
Apparently, there were a bunch of lazy Discord trannies that wanted to make an anime out of it. As expected, that never happened, because they're a bunch of lazy Discord trannies.
But I do think there is some untapped potential into this story.
Instead of the untitled schoolgirls, I'm thinking about a "vocaloid/anime girl hell" of decadence and debauchery that takes the form of an endless series of concrete bathrooms, prison cells and loos. Basically an eternal dumpster with techno-garbage everywhere and black goo dripping from the walls. Vocaloids are trapped here after their momentum in the spotlight is gone, and are left to kill themselves in bloody ways. Some vocaloids that couldn't fit in (homosexuality, depression, body dismorphia, mental illnesses, murder) are also condemn to spend the rest of their lives inside of this hellhole.

Vocaloids that don't kill themselves are left wondering eternally inside of this cold, austere place. And this is where we introduce the character of Saki and her punished "friends".

TL;DR : I have plans for writing a creepyasta based book, that would mix anime, Pynchon, Sartre/Heidegger and Chris Cunningham-tier body horror.

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 03:01:20 2021 No.18786191 >>18786188 it does

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 03:01:33 2021 No.18786192 >>18786187 I was worried...

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 03:02:05 2021 No.18786196 New thread >>18786194

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 03:03:25 2021 No.18786202 >>18786180 Lack of budget. I have to eventually go back find an optimal way to wageslave . But the future can wait a year.

>>	Anonymous Thu Aug 5 03:14:34 2021 No.18786232 >>18786177 They used to be fine when it was just feels or a few other memes, but then they started doing these annoying open mouth hipster meme posts and the superbrain/brainlet bullshit.

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/lit/ - Literature