/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.19513081]

This is the greatest thing I have ever read in my life

[Anonymous No.19513098]

What is it about OP?

[Anonymous No.19513111]

Did you actually read it or did you just watch the Sam O'Nella video and kek?

[Anonymous No.19513118]

>>19513098
it's like 5000 words of this guy complaining about the government and his wife with zero punctuation whatsoever.
you can find it free online. highly recommended

[Anonymous No.19513124]

Wait is the fucking guy Samonella did a video on?

[Anonymous No.19513140]

>>19513111
I have read the whole text, but "read" is generous since I can't understand a good portion of it. The main thesis seems to be "I hate my wife and the government and the church but especially my wife"

[Anonymous No.19514355]

>>19513118
>with zero punctuation whatsoever
That's not true, he included plenty at the end.

[Anonymous No.19514365]

>>19513118
I fear if I read this I will start spelling words likes this guy
hell after I read dickens I was bacially inebriated into Victorian mannerisms

[Anonymous No.19514382]

>>19513118

[Anonymous No.19514478]

>>19514355
holy fucking kek

[Anonymous No.19514635]

>>19514355
true. this might be the first true shitpost

[Anonymous No.19514807]

>>19514355
Top tier bants

[Anonymous No.19514814]

>>19513081
You just saw this on twitter

[Anonymous No.19514848]

>>19514814
>twitter
get off of there it's rotting your brain

[Anonymous No.19514935]

>>19514355
What the fuck is fouder? Further?

[Anonymous No.19514940]

>>19514935
for-the?

[Anonymous No.19514945]

>all these newfags not knowing who Hegel and Joyce plagiarised

[Anonymous No.19514949]

>tobacker

Now imagine him talking.

[Anonymous No.19514952]

>>19514382
It's 18th century strokeposting

[Anonymous No.19515071]

>>19514365
>bacially
it has already begun

[Anonymous No.19515274]

>>19513140
Read it outloud to yourself.

[Anonymous No.19515766]

>>19513118

>we Cant Doue well without fore Legd in the first plase they are our foude

Can't argue with that. PETA would do well to read it.

[Anonymous No.19515773]

>>19514355
These old fucks kill me

[Anonymous No.19515785]

>>19514935
I thought it meant father, lmao.
> https://youtu.be/EBHLcBxQZiM

[Anonymous No.19515789]

>>19514355
kek

[Anonymous No.19516250]

>>19513081
Does it actually have the appendix with only commas and punctuation ?

[Anonymous No.19516318]

>>19513098
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChSUvdU_Sbk

[Anonymous No.19516324]

this was making the rounds on tiktok

[Anonymous No.19516357]

>>19513118
This is interesting to deduce the pronunciation of the time.

[Anonymous No.19516450]

>>19514355

I bete youw cane cute eouch onue oute soue thet the pounctuaons cane bea eachway rite to our goude mane in the hole oer

[Anonymous No.19516466]

>>19513124
Yes I Thenk so

[Anonymous No.19516469]

>>19514355
Based

[Anonymous No.19517009]

>>19513081
HOLY SHIT THE WIKIPEDIA ON THIS GUY:

>At the end of the American Revolutionary War, he bought large amounts of depreciated Continental currency that was worthless at the time.[3] At the war's end, the U.S. government made good on its notes at one percent of face value, while Massachusetts paid its own notes at par.[3] His arbitrage enabled him to amass a considerable profit. He built two ships and began an export business to the West Indies and Europe.

>Because he was largely uneducated, his business sense was considered peculiar. He was advised to send bed warmers—used to heat beds in the cold New England winters—for resale in the West Indies, a tropical area. This advice was a deliberate ploy by rivals to bankrupt him. His ship's captain sold them as ladles to the local molasses industry and made a handsome profit.[4][unreliable source?] Next, Dexter sent wool mittens to the same place, where Asian merchants bought them for export to Siberia.[1]

>People jokingly told him to "ship coal to Newcastle". Fortuitously, he did so during a Newcastle miners' strike, and his cargo was sold at a premium.

>On another occasion, practical jokers told him he could make money by shipping gloves to the South Sea Islands. His ships arrived there in time to sell the gloves to Portuguese boats on their way to China

>He exported Bibles to the East Indies and stray cats to Caribbean islands and again made a profit; Eastern missionaries were in need of the Bibles and the Caribbean welcomed a solution to rat infestation.

>Despite his good fortune, his relationship with his family suffered. He frequently told visitors that his alive wife had died, and that the woman who frequented the building was simply her ghost;[1] in one notable episode, Dexter faked his own death to see how people would react, and about 3,000 people attended Dexter's mock wake. When Dexter did not see his wife cry, he revealed the hoax and promptly caned her for not sufficiently mourning his death.

Merchant Meme come to life

[Anonymous No.19517140]

>>19514355

[Anonymous No.19517159]

>>19514355
i tried reading it (yes after the sam video) but this nigga's writing is so idiosyncratic it takes like five rereads to understand any of his sentences, if you can even parse them at all. it's full of misspellings, 18th century prole slang, and dexter's own whacky flourishes that makes it take way longer to read than it should.

[Anonymous No.19517200]

>>19513118
Unironicaly better than Finnegans Wake

[Anonymous No.19517201]

>>19517009
>When Dexter did not see his wife cry, he revealed the hoax and promptly caned her for not sufficiently mourning his death.

[Anonymous No.19517638]

>>19517009
holy shit

[Anonymous No.19518836]

>>19516357
even for the time period, when spelling was more of a suggestion than a set of rules, this was considered insane

[Anonymous No.19520607]

>>19517009
Kek

[Anonymous No.19520635]

>>19514848
extremely ironic coming from a 4chan post

[Anonymous No.19521099]

>>19517009
>He frequently told visitors that his alive wife had died, and that the woman who frequented the building was simply her ghost
>he revealed the hoax and promptly caned her for not sufficiently mourning his death