/wg/ Writing General

[Anonymous No.20221362]

Previously on When Autist Potato: >>20213134

AHHHHHH Edition

-------------------------------------------

Reads related to honing the craft:
>pastebin.com/krJFfUfK (old reading list)
>pastebin.com/1KA24gny (new reading list)

Aditional related reads:
>pastebin.com/dXtFsTUh

Youtube playlist on storytelling:
>youtube.com/playlist?list=PLTCv6n1whoI23GmdBZienRW0Q0nFCU_ay

Self publishing websites:
>pastebin.com/zcKB1gN9

-------------------------------------------

/wg/ author pastebin + anon flash fiction anthology
>https://pastebin.com/ruwQj7xQ

Previous flash fiction anthologies
>archive.org/details/@_lit_anthology

[Anonymous No.20221368]

No one writes in /wg/

[Anonymous No.20221392]

>>20220911
Tolkien was such an anal retentive law fag.
[/spoiler] i wish i was that creative.

[Anonymous No.20221407]

It was all just a dream, bro

[Anonymous No.20221409]

Fuck anime and fuck trannies

[Anonymous No.20221500]

rate my poem

[Anonymous No.20221561]

>I wrote 1.1k more words today
>Would have been more but pizza had to be created

>>20221500

Content: 7/10
Volume: 8/10
Flow: 6.5/10
Meter: -9/10
Spacing: -11/10

[Anonymous No.20221567]

>>20221561
thanks anon
the meter isn't important to me, it's more prose than poetry, but you see, I'm pretentious.

[Anonymous No.20221575]

>>20221500
It's like someone who doesn't understand schizophrenia tried to copy the word salad style but accidentally made it coherent.

[Anonymous No.20221636]

>>20221567
You will love Raymond Carver then.

[Anonymous No.20221640]

How to cope with the fact that everything was already written, originality is no longer possible and whatever you wanted to say was already said?

[Anonymous No.20221644]

>>20221640
By discarding Enlightenment ideas of individuality, or by going full schizo. These are the only options.

[Anonymous No.20221645]

>>20221640
That makes it a lot easier to be a thief.

[Anonymous No.20221649]

>>20221644
Based
Super based

[Anonymous No.20221730]

>>20221500
I think you've got something going with your rant. I wouldn't be able to write this.
It can be tightened a little further. "Like", "with those", "or other", "always seemed", etcetera.
I understand what you reference even when I have no first-hand experience with it. That may mean it's too comprehensible. If you're good enough you can compel the reader with coherent intricacies they don't understand. You may have seen pic related before—it reads like word soup at first, but I understand the overall message and a good 85% of the phrases thanks to time spent in the right subcultures. Crucially, there are people who obsess over the image without understanding it, and I don't think that could have been pulled off without the actual meaning there to tantalize them. Over-the-top obscurity can work.
That ties into >>20221575. I don't know what exactly Francis E. Dec meant by Frankenstein Radio Controls but I do understand some. I'm sure he had something fairly specific in mind that he failed to fully communicate. I used to talk to Terry Davis. He gave coherent explanations for bizarre tweets, and he explained enough of his metaphysics to make his rants about people ignoring God understandable.
You should be shamelessly indulgent, and create something that very few people have a chance of fully understanding. Delve below the surface and talk about things that fascinate you even though nobody else knows them.

[Anonymous No.20221755]

>>20221730
thanks, anon—you're right. It needs cleaning up, especially with handicapped lines words and phrases like "like," etc. It needs a much better closer. I don't even know what it means, I just don't know what to do with this awful 2010s internet upbringing, and I can't rationalize it.
>You should be shamelessly indulgent, and create something that very few people have a chance of fully understanding. Delve below the surface and talk about things that fascinate you even though nobody else knows them.
best advice.

[Anonymous No.20221964]

>>20221640
Write about it

[Anonymous No.20222009]

>>20221500
Really nice. Though I doubt people who don't get all the terms would view it as such, I really think you've got something good going here. Now do it for 100 more pages and I'll buy your book the first second it hits shelves. Fun read, fun schizotypy.

[Anonymous No.20222022]

>>20221964
Everybody for the last 60 years did. I blame Derrida.

[Anonymous No.20222180]

>>20221362
You will write every day.
You will improve your characters, setting, plot, and themes.
You will actively seek criticism so that you may grow and improve.
You will not fall for marketing scams.
You will learn that reading as much as you write will bring enormous gains in prose.
You will make it.

[Anonymous No.20222189]

>>20222180
But I want to watch S&M porn and play visual novels instead

[Anonymous No.20222190]

>>20221368
No one *reads
>>20221640
4th line of pic related

[Anonymous No.20222196]

>>20222190
>T.J. Kaczynski
>Better known for other work
Audible kek

[Anonymous No.20222201]

>>20222190
No one sneeds

[Anonymous No.20222232]

>>20221362
I wrote a story, where do I publish it under an alias so it's protected?

[Anonymous No.20222242]

>>20222232
>so it's protected
Protected from what? From people finding out your real identity?
Do you want to put it somewhere so that you can link to it, or do you want to put it somewhere where people will run into it?

[Anonymous No.20222245]

>>20222232
the chance that you've written anything worth stealing is infinitesimal. so just post it.

[Anonymous No.20222250]

>>20222232
Wattpad. Then become a Patreon whore.

[Anonymous No.20222261]

>>20222242
>>20222245
>>20222250
Maybe I should go for a legit publishing company in the US or something? there's a chance I might at least get paid some bucks rather than have fanfiction teens be my sole audience

[Anonymous No.20222266]

>>20222261
>there's a chance I might at least get paid some bucks
sure, then submit it to the NYT or some other similarly-statured publication.

[Anonymous No.20222269]

>>20222261
There's simply no way to know if i'm good or not if i publish to wattpad, is my main point

[Anonymous No.20222279]

Any /qst/ers here?

[Anonymous No.20222281]

>>20222261
Do you have reason to believe it's high-quality enough? How much have you written before?

>>20222269
You can ask us.

[Anonymous No.20222290]

>>20222269
tons of shitty stuff gets published. tons of great stuff doesn't. being published is not a valuable metric, because what gets published is often motivated by factors completely extrinsic to the quality of the writing itself; i.e. politics, race, profit/marketability, etc. the best metric you have is your own taste. have you read enough to know what genuinely good writing is? do YOU like what you've written? fuck everything else.

[Anonymous No.20222322]

Can you guys help me with my writing? I am open to any & all criticism, no holds barred

[Anonymous No.20222345]

>>20222322
*fewer people

[Anonymous No.20222367]

Any feedback anons.

Nick Spallone waited at the chessboard by working through the book of chess puzzles his son had bought him. Then the shadow of Grady Lane leaned over the table, and his hand pinched the light-squared bishop diagonally across the board to accidentally dominate the knight.
“What the heck was that? Have you ever seen a chessboard before Grady?” Nick questioned. “I think you killed my appetite for chess.” And he snapped the book shut.
Grady sat down and began to set up the pieces by placing the white king on the queen’s square.
“Come on, let’s have a game? It’ll be fun.” Grady said.
“Have you ever had fun boxing a child?” Nick asked as he fixed Grady’s king.
“All the time, my kids refused to go to bed last night. So I just started jabbing.”
“Lovely. You start.”
“I know that. What do you think of this?”
“Have you heard from Randal?” Nick asked.
“Nope, he’ll be here. The knight, huh. Okay, I’ll match that.”
“Are you sure? He didn’t seem too eager when I called him.”
“You expect him to be eager?”
“No, I guess not.”
“Nobody suspects the pawn.”
“I just think it would be good for the three of us to go and see him, you, me and Randal.”
“Grady, Nick and Randall, classic.”
“Checkmate,” Nick said.
“No, I can still move.”
“Move then.”
“Okay.”
“Now I go here.”
“Okay. I’ll move this.”
“And here. Done,”
Grady stared at the board and bit his lower lip. “When did you get good at chess?”
“It’s good to see you, Grady.”
“You too, Nick. Oh, look, here comes Randal. Oi Randy, are you allowed to be in parks?”
“Shut up, Nick. Hey Grady.”
“Hey, Randal. It’s good to see you.”
After a quick chat, the three of them walked a few streets from the park and fell back into the swing of friendship, uncooled by the years apart.
“But religion would surely make dying easier,” Nick sighed.
“So, would a fast truck,” snorted Grady
“But not a long fall,” Randal replied.
“Not just dying but life too. The comfort of life everlasting, defined morals, community, and prayer. Atheism, you just get nothing. It’s harder to find comfort that way,” Nick said.
“Go and become Buddhist then. You’ve already got the head for it.” Grady snapped.
“Woah, Grady, Grady, easy there.”
“Maybe we shouldn’t be talking about this,” said Randal.
They all agreed it was probably not the best topic of discussion as they approached the hospital and had to wait a moment as a groaning man was wheeled through the doors on a stretcher.
“He looks like he could use some Buddhism.”

[Anonymous No.20222374]

>>20222367
this sucks ass

[Anonymous No.20222406]

>>20222374
Certified /lit/ classic.

[Anonymous No.20222407]

>>20222322
Do you smoke weed? Be honest

[Anonymous No.20222424]

>>20222322
Make it tighter. Remove words, shuffle them around. My attempt:
>There we sat, me and Hanky, in that rigid place. We knew that Jane's shop opened every day, since she married an early bird. Fewer people went since the Global event, but we loved visiting. Hanky's stare gave me a notion that we'd soon be going there.
>I couldn't shake the feeling that, though I'm rather fortified, I would be battled in her shop for reasons yet unknown. I had always had these unexplainable premonitions.
I replaced your "Although" by a paragraph break, since while the sentences should be set apart there's not really a contradiction as such.
>gested
gestured
>bonfire
Is this what you meant, or is it just a regular fire? It makes me think of a large festive fire. Wiktionary tells me it can also be a fire to burn rubbish (or banned books, or heretics).
>it's
its
>as I would soon suffer this same fate
>ate away at any remnant of my soul
I think these are too dramatic, to the point of being confusing. Unless your narrator is terminally ill and in grave spiritual peril.

[Anonymous No.20222436]

>>20222322
Go easier on your commas. I don't understand your use of words in places like fortified, to be battled, noxious fume of anxiousness. They don't seem right in the piece unless the narrator has used them before in different contexts to describe themselves. I can see you're trying to do consonance/alliteration with the last line, but the word choice there seems too sentimental for a narrator going to see a talking carp on their wall. It feels like you're trying to be prosaic for the subject, and maybe in the context of the scene it is actually a prosaic scene, but the snippet here reads too saccharine for the subject matter. The anxiety metaphor doesn't feel consistent either, applying fume imagery to anxiety, though this could be a perspective I don't understand. Anxiety for me invokes panic and discomfort, rather than a slow smokiness I'd associate with something like lust. It's not clunky. It just feels like it's trying to hard to milk meaning from a scene that doesn't need it.
I can tell you're making an effort. You're just trying to make too much of an effort and the prose comes out looking alien in relation to the subject of the scene.

[Anonymous No.20222462]

>>20222345
Thanks
>>20222407
Nope
>>20222424
Thank you I meant bonfire like a fire. I'll use lighter language and fix it
>>20222436
That makes a lot of sense, I tend to overwrite my simple scenes too much because I really respect how authors like Melville and Dostoevsky illustrate a scene seamlessly, so I try to do the same. Commas are fucked and I truly am lost on how they work in professional writing. Also the carp is just a carp on his wall, not a talking one but that does sound pretty cool :)

[Anonymous No.20222609]

>>20222462
I blame the computers. People used to respect word counts more when they were using pens and typewriters. Don't sweat it, just try writing short and fulfilling stories first. I'm glad you take constructive criticism constructively.

[Anonymous No.20222616]

>>20222180
The hero returns.

>>20222232
Nobody's gonna steal your shit broski. Post it on Royal Road, unironically day and night when compared to Shittpad in terms of discoverability.

[Anonymous No.20222638]

>>20222616
>Royal Road
Huh, I need to check it out. Can you post LNs there?

[Anonymous No.20222663]

>>20222638
LN's meaning light novels I assume? If so then yes, you can post it in bulk or chapter-by-chapter if you want. I'm in the late stage of making a big backlog so I can slowly start rolling out my own stuff, so that's something you might wanna do if you're considering publishing your stuff. If your book's already done, even better.

[Anonymous No.20222666]

>>20222663
RR tends to incentivise consistent posting, yeah?

[Anonymous No.20222691]

>>20222666
How many threads in a row must this same question be answered?

[Anonymous No.20222694]

>>20222666
>>20222691
How many questions can we answer with a question?

[Anonymous No.20222696]

>>20222666
Cool numbers.

[Anonymous No.20222716]

>>20222609
Well thanks for judging my work, it is extraordinarily shitty lol. Maybe I’ll try a typewriter in the future to write my stories, it’s what McCarthy did for all of his books.

[Anonymous No.20222730]

>>20221567
Oh good now I can call you a fucking faggot more accurately since you admitted it.

[Anonymous No.20222745]

>>20222666
Readers tend to like consistent posting. Pick a schedule, make it clear, and stick to it.

[Anonymous No.20222764]

Finished my detective story. 19 551 words of GARBAGE. I bookend it so it ends and begins with the same exact paragraph, which ties into the protagonist being mired in the bog of his past and being stuck doing the same shit for over ten years.
Time to write something new. You guys know this feeling, right? When you finish something and feel free to chase anything you want.

[Anonymous No.20222814]

>>20222764
I usually have outlines ready before finishing anything, so I spring into my source materials and start shaping the next story.

[Anonymous No.20222861]

So, I have a question about royalroad and other fiction posting sites. Does this actually work?
I'm reading the shit on here, 10,000 page nonsense YA with the authors earning actual livings off it. Nothing but exposition, poorly written drivel. WHO IS GIVING THESE PEOPLE MONEY?
What's the secret? Insanity.

[Anonymous No.20222870]

>>20222861
who cares, either exploit the esl drones with your own shitty YA story or ignore them

[Anonymous No.20222871]

>>20222861
Autistic weebs mostly.

[Anonymous No.20222904]

>>20222764
My work is 99% rigid grids and stiff step-by-step conveyor belt process and MAYBE 1% semi-creative input. So no, I don't really have these types of problems.

[Anonymous No.20222912]

>>20222904
>problems
It's not a problem, it's great

[Anonymous No.20222930]

>>20222912
It's not a bug, it's a feature.

[Anonymous No.20222943]

>>20222764
>You guys know this feeling, right? When you finish something

I don't know that feel

[Anonymous No.20222985]

>>20222943
Come on, boss. It don't have to be like that.

[Anonymous No.20223034]

>>20222232
More serious answer, you could write it on your roof with your own shit and it would still be protected by copyright law.

[Anonymous No.20223255]

>>20221362
When to show and when to tell?

For example in this one scene, two characters have finished their investigation, and they're reporting their findings to another person. Is it better to just write like this

We finished our investigation and found Harrison, standing outside the men's bathroom jotting something down
"Did you find anything?" Kale asked
"No. Nothing." He pressed his fingers on his temples

Or like this?

We finished our investigation. Outside was Harrison standing in front of the men's bathroom. We reported our findings to him, and he seemed genuinely sad to say he didn't find anything meaningful

[Anonymous No.20223257]

u guys are never going to be published

[Anonymous No.20223268]

>>20222764
>You guys know this feeling, right?
I posted in one of the deleted Gardner shill /wg/s yesterday about how I just released three novels. My finances have improved and I was able to boost my ads so I won't post the link here again. When I posted yesterday a few people were impressed that I got three novels finished. Thanks a lot, guys!

I worked on my first one (Panther Pride) for about four years, and then my second one (The Savage Green) for about eighteen months. I quit my job to write full time and got my third one (Modem Waves) done in about six months. Along the way, I lost sight of what an accomplishment it is to even finish one novel, with covers and advertisements and everything. There's a shitload of work that goes into getting something ready for KDP, not to mention making your own website. In the last three months, I've probably read each of these novels at least six times, in three different formats, each time finding new mistakes. For those of you who are still working on your first project: do not despair. It is a massive effort just to ensure that 60,000+ words of fiction is grammatically competent and structurally consistent. Self-publishing is looked down upon but if you have even an ounce of integrity and you really want to ensure that your work meets an acceptable standard of quality, then producing something which does not embarrass you to look at is going to be a strenuous process. And if you manage to finish it, you should absolutely be proud of yourself.

Whew. Glad to be done with all that. Now I can just sit back and kick it with my /wg/ bros. I've got three more novel-length manuscripts half-finished but I'm gonna be taking a break and just enjoying some quality literature for now. The worst part about writing full time is that your "reading eye" gets tired and it's nigh impossible to truly lose yourself in a book. I might get that Son of the Sun book I'm always seeing advertised late at night.

VIVA LA /WG/!
VIVA LA /LIT/!

[Anonymous No.20223278]

>>20223255
the second unless you can throw in a red herring or a clue in the first example.

[Anonymous No.20223306]

>>20223255
Try reading the book "Showing and Telling" which covers this topic in some depth (especially the telling/summary part).

The main difference between scene (showing) and summary (telling) isn't about detail, it's about time. Scene is real-time, summary is not. In general, you should opt for a scene whenever there is some kind of important change, either in character, plot or reader perception. Use summary to heighten the effect of scenes, as a kind of counterpoint, to provide context or create irony--without repeating yourself (summary in which you say what you're going to say, is useless outside of academia). A scene in which a woman is terrified of finding a spider in the bathtub can be heightened by adding a summary at the beginning talking about her illustrious career as an entomologist.

It's difficult to address your specific case without knowing the intent behind the passage.

[Anonymous No.20223348]

>>20223268
I know I’m going to appear as though I’m you samefaging your own post, but I’ll ask anyway. Where are your books posted for free?

[Anonymous No.20223362]

>>20223348
alitspa.com

If you do decide to read, please drop me an email with your thoughts.

[Anonymous No.20223382]

>>20223306
My mind is blown to hear that showing and telling are equally valid, just situation dependent. I’m so used to people insisting any instance of “tell” ought to be “show” because they read that somewhere and so it has to be true.
And here I’ve thought /wg/ was a waste of time.

[Anonymous No.20223392]

>>20223382
Because people don't understand the foundations of things they parrot, some of us have gone out of our way to look at what they mean and where they came from. Passive voice is the same way. No one who says passive voice is bad actually understands anything about passive voice and they will quickly quote Strunk & White to prove their point. "Well X said it and you're not X so I'll take my advice from le experts!" Not realizing those two jackasses didn't understand passive voice at all.
>shat1

[Anonymous No.20223403]

>>20223362
I was reading the opening blurbs on amazon for both of those books. The prose is solid, especially in the first novel (Savage Green) but I found them both kind of boring. There's a tendency to state the obvious and a lack of any kind of surprise. This is especially true in Modem Waves. All the future tech stuff is cliched old saws played straight. There's no payoff to the false robbery because the narrator guesses it and then... is proved right. In Savage Green you spend like two pages describing the discomfort of the main character and then have one of the other characters straight up ask if he's feeling uncomfortable. I guess in some respects it might be ironic and funny, but I just found it to be a bit slow and tedious. I would have preferred you just cut straight to talking about the scientist (that implies the guy hasn't been here before anyway). For the other scene, I think it would have been better if you kept greater authorial distance and had the narrator just ignore the woman being apparently raped only to reveal that it was actually an ambush. It's the same beats but now the reader gets a bit of surprise and wants to keep reading.

[Anonymous No.20223404]

>>20223382
"Show don't tell" is more used for critiquing writers that overexplain and exposition dump, rather than "never tell the reader anything directly".

[Anonymous No.20223464]

>>20223362
I’m the marketing degree tard asking.
Right now you are floundering due to discoverability issues. Searching Panther Pride on Amazon had me cackling. Imagine putting 4 years of your life into something and having it be overshadowed by multiple BLACKED power fantasy books with a similar name.
The Savage Green is being overpowered by a book with the same title that only has 3 reviews.
Modem Waves is a unique title but even searching for that exactly has 3 books ahead of yours.
This can all be fixed though (maybe not the BLACKED one because that is an awful title from a discoverability standpoint). Instead of having the downloads come directly from your website, have them link to Amazon where your books will be listed for free. This is a proven method for increasing engagement as it’s worked with Gardner and the author of Son of the Sun — though in his case he fucked up discoverability in other ways. What you need are reviews and download numbers to get more eyes on your works. Both of those we can help with.

[Anonymous No.20223469]

Which genres / thematics have a lot of unused potential ? What kinds of books would you want to read that you can't find?
Ex. Cosmic horror

[Anonymous No.20223525]

>>20221368

There once was a forum named /lit/
Whose denizens thought they had wit.
Their poems were rhymeless;
their stories were mindless;
in fact they were all full of shit

[Anonymous No.20223545]

>>20223464
My goal isn't so much Amazon sales as /lit/ discussion. I would think tags would be more important for that anyway, like I can't picture someone sitting down and thinking "I would like to read a book called Panther Pride"
>>20223403
That's disappointing to read. IMO the biggest problem with most 4chan selfpubs is that they take way too long to get to the point, and so I endeavoured to make my opening chapters as interesting as possible. A few people did warn me about the exposition dump in Modem Waves. With both of these books I was hoping to provoke the reaction you're describing, because it all plays into later parts of the novels, but I also recognized that it was going to slow down the narrative a bit. Ultimately, I decided to trust my instincts and go with what I felt would lead to a greater payoff in the later chapters. It's pointless to nitpick crit, but I feel compelled to mention that in Modem Waves, for instance, I am deliberately attempting to portray a narrator who thinks he knows what is going on, but who is easily caught off-guard by things like a random third kid stepping out into the road to block his truck.

[Anonymous No.20223568]

>>20223464
This has me at least happy that, as far as a search could give, my story's title hasn't been used by anybody else.

[Anonymous No.20223569]

>>20223469
Personally, I like fiction that can make me believe that there are magic secrets hidden in everyday life. Like maybe the abandoned warehouse I pass on my commute is actually a secret North Korean spyhouse. Or maybe one day I'll go down into my basement and find a community of sentient mice hiding beneath the hot water heater.

[Anonymous No.20223579]

>>20223545
I only recommend that for word of mouth discoverability. Hard for me to tell someone on discord “Hey I found this awesome book called Panther Pride, check it out when you have some free time.” when the response I’m going to get is them pretending they found a new fetish of mine in the form of shirtless and oily black men.
If you don’t care about making money on it though, then all the power to you. Don’t let my autism detract from your writing.

[Anonymous No.20223587]

>>20223579
This is making me acutely aware that I need a good title for my next book or it'll be fucking over for me.

[Anonymous No.20223591]

>>20223587
A lot of people seem to be getting around it with subtitles, but that feels iffy.

[Anonymous No.20223612]

>>20222985
But it do.

>get opening idea
>start writing
>run out of ideas
>give up

Rinse and repeat.

[Anonymous No.20223613]

>>20223591
It only works that way for me with book series. Then you can look for "King's Gambit book 2 Swordstone series" or whatever it is called. It makes discovery easier then. But for single books, a unique title like "Naked Lunch" or "Moby-Dick" makes it very easy to find, the problem being there's only so many words and combinations out there for books.

[Anonymous No.20223616]

>>20223579
I'm going to embrace the meme potential here. Zulu Alitspa, author of BLACKED fiction. Its not terrible advice, and I would have done the whole Kindle Select promotion thing, except that would have prevented me from distributing free copies on my personal website. But then again, personal websites are kind of irrelevant these days so if I'm not seeing much response soon, I'll probably go full Amazon.

[Anonymous No.20223625]

>>20222861
>What's the secret? Insanity.
As you've observed, many of the successful works are stupendously long. Every day, those stories pop up back on the front page with a new chapter and get noticed, year after year. And when you've read 10,000 pages of something, you're kind of hooked to it, regardless of quality, and feel mandated to see it to the end. And because people are impatient and don't want to wait, they've no choice but to go to patreon and pay to see the advance chapters posted there. It's really quite simple.

[Anonymous No.20223632]

>>20223545
Fair enough, but you lost my attention before you got to that (admittedly nicer) payoff. Again, you would have lost very little by moving the inner monologue predicting what was going to happen to after it happens. You still have the sense of a narrator who thinks he knows it all with the advantage of an early surprise to keep the reader reading (in fact it works even better, since the next time, the reader will now be expecting it to be an ambush and then the third kid is even more surprising). I'm not advising cutting but rather rearrangement.

By all this I don't mean to discourage you. Rather, you seem to have everything else down except for these small matters of structure.

[Anonymous No.20223671]

>>20223632
I would definitely acknowledge that Modem Waves has a lot of weaknesses. It would have actually worked a lot better to have the narrator recognize the girl and then have him keep going because he didn't want to interact with her, rather than because he knew it was a set-up. Oh well, lesson learned.

[Anonymous No.20223674]

>>20223268
I'm currently querying agents and it's the most soul-sucking process. Half of them say nothing, the other half give form responses, no feedback at all. I've had one partial request and the rejection boiled down to a vague "it's good but not for me" and that shit drives me insane. My beta readers like it. I'm getting to the point where I might just put it up for free somewhere, since I can't afford an editor (my main reason to seek trad pub) so I wouldn't feel right to charge for essentially an unfinished book. I don’t know where I'm going with this blog post, I guess I just need to vent.

[Anonymous No.20223703]

>>20223674
I was shocked at how much editors cost. Like $1500 for a full length novel. And you're right about the "unfinished" feeling. I think if I had gotten a trad contract, there would be a greater feeling of accomplishment. Perhaps that'll come after (if ever) I manage to make a few physical sales.

My main goal with writing is to stimulate creativity on /lit/ and in literature in general. I am tired of the absolute garbage that comes out of tradpub these days. Its either escapism for teenage girls, or insanely tedious "voice of the millenial generation" stuff about some vapid Baudrillard-spouting trust fund kid who is afraid of conservatism. You don't seem to get many Steinbecks or Orwells or even Crichtons these days.

[Anonymous No.20223765]

what is a good encrypted dropbox replacement for writing on your phone? I've considered skiff and standard notes

[Anonymous No.20223781]

When you are writing a List of Abbreviations but you have used foreign languages, how do you include them?
For example, I use the abbreviation BDA for "Bundesvereinigung der Deutschen Arbeitgeberverbände" but in my text, I have of course translated it as "Confederation of German Employers’ Associations".

So how will I include it in the list of abbreviations?

BDA ------------ Bundesvereinigung der Deutschen Arbeitgeberverbände
(Confederation of German Employers’ Associations)

or rather

BDA -------------- Confederation of German Employers’ Associations (Bundesvereinigung der Deutschen Arbeitgeberverbände)?

[Anonymous No.20223797]

>>20223765
>writing on your phone

[Anonymous No.20223806]

>>20223797
I’ve written 10k words on a phone. But of course no one on /wg/ writes

[Anonymous No.20223816]

>>20223703
I'm starting to think the only viable avenue for anything even remotely male is self-pub.
-t. Femanon who writes dude fiction because chicklit is shit

[Anonymous No.20223857]

>>20223781
Are you writing a paper, anon? If so then whatever style you're using should have a clear guide on how to use abbreviations. For instance, I know that under A.P.A. you need to write the full meaning of the abbreviation in the original language, then write the translation in parentheses, then make clear what the abbreviation will be. Eg. "Bundesvereinigung der Deutschen Arbeitgeberverbände [Confederation of German Employers’ Associations] - BDA." We don't have lists though, we just write the full meaning once and only use the abbreviation after.

[Anonymous No.20223881]

>>20223797
Writing in your phone is good as fuck for getting words out. You can do it anywhere and the change of scenery always jogs the creative juices. Editing on the phone is fucking impossible but that's really the point, write first edit later. Really cringe to disparage it, how many words have you written today?

[Anonymous No.20223882]

>>20223806
Hello Sir you've forgotten that no one on /wg/ reads, but everyone writes

[Anonymous No.20223883]

>>20223816
>Femanon who writes dude fiction because chicklit is shit
Dude who asked?

[Anonymous No.20223891]

>>20221500
Not good, brazza, but it's definitely a step in the right direction stylistically. It's more contemporary than a lot of the junk that gets posted in these. You need to improve your sensitivity to the sonic properties of language, though. This reads very clumsily in spots, where it should all bleed together. You'll get there.
t. award-winning poet

[Anonymous No.20223893]

>>20223883
Just pointing out that even having a male protagonist is problematic unless he's gay. Just look at new releases.

[Anonymous No.20223899]

>>20223816
This isn't the year 2000. This isn't even the year 2010. With essentially everyone having access to the internet right now at all times there's no real reason not to self pub, no matter what genre you're in. The money is better if you self pub. Teenie bopper crap and romance novels - the bread and butter of the trad publihsing industry - do very well self published.

Add on the cancerous gatekeeping and checkbox requirements in tradpub and its basically a no brainer. There's a little more work up front as far as editing and marketing, but you're doing that - you know, working on your book - instead of sending a bunch of horrible, disingenuous fellating bullshit queries to agents.

[Anonymous No.20223920]

>>20223893
Obviously, nothing wrong with dudebro writing and awknowledging that modern day publishing is pozzed as fuck and against """majority""" groups. Nor is there anything wrong with disliking the derivitive shit that is pumped out to appeal to the lowest common denominator of women.
I'm talking about the Femanon part it didn't really pertain to the rest of what you were saying, maybe Im autistic and can't see how its relevant, but to me it seems like there was no reason to bring up being a woman. That leads me to: tits please ma'am?

[Anonymous No.20223941]

>>20223857
Yeah, that's how I opted to do it in the end. We don't use a clear and specific guide for anything other than citing though and that's not really your standard APA or Harvard one (but one that comes pretty close to Harvard). So in the end, I just did it as you suggest too. Thanks anon!

[Anonymous No.20223944]

>>20223920
This is a blue board sir

[Anonymous No.20223961]

>>20223920
You're right in that it's not really relevant, except I see a lot of anons saying "just use a female pen name" or whatever, it's not enough anymore, the goalposts shift further every day. I've seen a ton of agents flat out saying if you aren't [insert pet minority here] to not bother querying.

[Anonymous No.20223963]

>>20223806
Same I've phone written 20k words on jewgle docs recently with a baby sleeping on me (don't worry it's mine).

>>20223306
>>20223392
Amen to this. Conceptually understanding the use of Telling is essential and getting Pullum on Passive Pilled are probably my biggest breakthroughs. Also learning how to discovery write but that's more personal.

[Anonymous No.20223975]

>>20223961
Understandable in that sense, I'll stop busting your metaphorical balls then. Good luck with your writing.

[Anonymous No.20223976]

>>20223963
Isn’t “discovery writing” just another term for “pantsing” to sound intelligent despite not being smart enough to plan ahead?

[Anonymous No.20223983]

>>20223976
isn't "pantsing" just "not outlining" except you sound like a faggot who's trying to hard?

[Anonymous No.20223997]

>>20223961
Is the book you're referring to "Showing & Telling: Learn How to Show & When to Tell for Powerful & Balanced Writing" by Laurie Alberts? Sorry if I'm retarded, but its the only one that pops up when I look it up.

[Anonymous No.20223999]

>>20223997
>>20223961
>>20223306
Wrong post, my bad.

[Anonymous No.20224023]

>>20223920
Do both. I've self-pubbed a couple books, but I also send my shorter works out to magazines every couple of weeks. Been published many, times this way, but I also get to put out longer projects more quickly and without (((their))) influence on my own. It would be a mistake, in my opinion, to just self-pub.

[Anonymous No.20224029]

>>20223975
Ball-busting is fine, good luck with your writing too. We're all gonna make it.

[Anonymous No.20224031]

>>20224023
How much do you make per magazine article? Not a lot, as its probably more about creating visibility, but I'm curious.

[Anonymous No.20224050]

>>20223882
Well at least they’re writing now. Used to be all they did was shit on the thought of writing

[Anonymous No.20224058]

>>20224031
Depends on the size/influence of the magazine. Some don't pay at all (you basically lose money writing this way if you order the physicals to see your work), while others pay $15 per poem or thereabouts on average. The better ones will sometimes give you $50 per poem. Pay rates differ for longer pieces. Some do it by word; others give you a flat rate. Don't expect to make any good money off of individual submissions -- that's what full books are for.

[Anonymous No.20224078]

>>20221409
>>20222730
>>20223257
>>20223983
seething pseud

>>20223268
>Son of the Sun
It was decent...nothing that Game Of Thrones hasn't already done to death, but at least you get to support a struggling author.

>>20222180
>>20223525
based

[Anonymous No.20224268]

>>20223268
>It is a massive effort just to ensure that 60,000+ words of fiction is grammatically competent and structurally consistent
i've never found a single grammatical error in any of my writing upon editing. i find tons of sentences i end up rewriting for flow, but never a single, unintentional error. i don't understand how people can't be 100% completely error-free (or at least 99.999999%) in current year. the written word SHOULD be in a golden age. more people are using text to communicate than ever. it should be as easy as breathing to write without grammatical error.

[Anonymous No.20224321]

>>20224268
>i've never found a single grammatical error in any of my writing upon editing.

Your lack of finding an error is probably an error in itself.
I'm a pretty solid writer, and yet Microsoft Word's grammar checker found a lot of mistakes in the last thing I washed through it.
I make a lot of singular/plural errors, some present/past tense mismatches, and the occasional misspelled word.

[Anonymous No.20224327]

>>20224268
>upon editing
upon or after? not even a single instance of the the or something equally innocuous? I find that very difficult to believe.

[Anonymous No.20224396]

Why are RR chapters so fucking short? Aren't chapters supposed to be a collection of scenes rather than a singular scene? Is it all just a scam to make updates easier?

[Anonymous No.20224402]

>>20224396
If something seems bullshit, it's probably because anime.

[Anonymous No.20224404]

>>20224396
Possibly also a way to deal with readers' decreasing attention spans.

[Anonymous No.20224410]

Could I get some tips for writing crime dramas?

[Anonymous No.20224416]

>>20224402
OK, we get it...you don't like anime.
Neither do I, but I don't moan about it constantly.
Having said that, I thought Sailor Moon Abridged was hilarious.
https://archive.org/details/SMASeriesEpisode51

[Anonymous No.20224421]

>>20224402
No actually, it was bloodborne:
https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/51455/a-cosmic-weight

[Anonymous No.20224423]

>>20224396
>Is it all just a scam to make updates easier?
yes
t. mate is a RR patreon whore and I asked him why his chapters are so short

[Anonymous No.20224452]

>>20224321
>>Your lack of finding an error is probably an error in itself.
i'm sure that's what it sounds like.
>>20224327
editing is a constant process. and no, i never find anything. probably because i write at a glacial pace and never allow myself to get into autopilot mode.

[Anonymous No.20224526]

How do you become a patreon whore?

[Anonymous No.20224572]

>>20224452
>editing is a constant process
it shouldn't be in all honesty. there's nothing wrong with skimming what you wrote last session to get a feel for where you're going and making some line edits while you're doing it, but you should draft and then edit later on. I think you'll find a lot more to edit when you do.

[Anonymous No.20224588]

>>20224572
>you should draft and then edit later on. I think you'll find a lot more to edit when you do.
i write literally as a vehicle for the prose. that's all i care about. it makes no sense for someone like me to spend less than total effort on the quality of my prose in the process of writing. i am always error-free because i think actively on where every word goes in each sentence i write.

[Anonymous No.20224621]

>>20224588
You sound extremely conceited, anon. Every single published author I've ever worked with has had all sorts of errors in their drafts -- especially their first and second drafts. Pay an editor to review your work. You'll see you're no different.

[Anonymous No.20224630]

>>20224621
GRAMMATICAL errors. that's what we've been talking about, and i assumed that didn't need to be stated. at what point when i said i am CONSTANTLY editing and rewriting did you get the idea that everything i write is immediately perfect? i don't think my shit smells like roses. but i'm always a bristol scale 3 or 4.

[Anonymous No.20224644]

>>20224621
>>20224630
that said, you're not wrong. i am pretty fucking conceited.

[Anonymous No.20224674]

>>20222290
You are an admirable person.

[Anonymous No.20224702]

>>20224410
>alitspa.com
Your gonna need to be more specific mate.

[Anonymous No.20224735]

>>20224702
Eh? It looks like a personal web site.
The novels are linked on the front page.
I already downloaded them.

[Anonymous No.20224781]

>>20222764
Are you the dude from a /tv/ thread a few months ago about this same concept?

[Anonymous No.20224802]

>>20224735
Sorry didn't mean to put anons site in there. What do you need help on writing "drama?"

[Anonymous No.20225054]

There once was a forum named /lit/,
where virgins would pick every nit.
In basements they stayed
and never got laid.
Not one could say what was a clit.

[Anonymous No.20225055]

I feel so bad I can't write....

[Anonymous No.20225061]

>>20225055
And Stephen King is highly popular. You can make it.

[Anonymous No.20225068]

>>20225061
no, its. "I feel so mentally bad that today it is impossible for me to write"
but I guess both apply....

[Anonymous No.20225082]

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1UoEbfz3BlmlvT1he2ZJtglccvBVfK0WwB_wtUM83NBs/edit?usp=sharing

I think I'm coming up on the point where I want to either introduce my first flashback, adding some depth to the protagonist and painting a picture of their old life, or a short time skip, giving the protagonist two weeks or so to sort of get a better handle on their new routine.

I feel like this would be a good way to have the first-person voice be able to speak to things around them intelligently, rather than the reader/protagonist needing to learn everything through dialogue.

>>20222322
The first section and second second read like they're written by completely different writers. It makes it difficult for me as the reader to hammer down the intended voice because it lacks a consistency to its prose. I think the comments by others about punctuation are very supportive and would help a lot.

>>20223268
This really inspired me, I would love to pick your brain sometime. I'm giving my idea all of me effort right now and I'm fully committed to finishing the first installment of whatever it is I'm doing right now, and publishing it somehow. I know absolutely nothing about the publishing process and the pros and cons of different platforms, but those are all roads I can cross when I get to them. If I ever make a singular dime I'll be over the moon.

[Anonymous No.20225248]

>>20225068
>>20225055
Same. I got banned from Panera bread for hitting on the cashier.

[Anonymous No.20225274]

>>20225248
Did you try selling her your book?

[Anonymous No.20225288]

>>20225274
No I just creeped her out

[Anonymous No.20225364]

>>20222180
Very well comrade.
You passion and conviction has convinced me.
I shall now write a Harem, timeloop, cultivation, Virtual Reality, Lit-Rpg the likes of which the world has not yet seen.
I will also once and for all, give up my meerkating ways.
Furthermore i shall broaden my horizons by adding fan-fiction to my literary diet.
I will make it in no small part thanks to your wise and generous words.

[Anonymous No.20225373]

>>20222180
Very well comrade.
You passion and conviction has convinced me.
I shall now write a Harem, timeloop, cultivation, Virtual Reality, Lit-Rpg the likes of which the world has not yet seen.
I will also once and for all, give up my meerkating ways.
Furthermore i shall broaden my horizons by adding fan-fiction to my literary diet.
I will make it in no small part thanks to your wise and generous words.

[Anonymous No.20225389]

>>20225054
>There once was a forum named /lit/,
>where virgins would pick every nit.
>In basements they stayed
They never got laid
And not one could locate the clit

[Anonymous No.20225431]

why isn't my genius original story blowing up on royalroad???????????

[Anonymous No.20225436]

>>20225373
Not even ludicrous.
Ed Wood was deeply inspired to create his unintentional farces after a chance meeting with Orson Welles.

[Anonymous No.20225460]

>>20225431
Link it. I'll blow it up, alright.

[Anonymous No.20225550]

>>20225389
I like that, it's a definite improvement on the original.

There once was a faggot named OP,
a nigger whose posts were all dopey.
He sucked lots of dicks,
did anal, turned tricks,
until the board's lynch mob got ropey.

[Anonymous No.20225698]

>>20224781
The idea was born in a /tv/ thread, yes. People told me to write it so I did.

[Anonymous No.20225705]

Making my first substack post tomorrow frens.
Writing comes in many forms.

[Anonymous No.20225832]

I feel like depicting violence

[Anonymous No.20225846]

>>20225705
Congrats anon. Do you have any advice, particularly on marketing and advertising? Really want to start blogging but my ideas seem indistinct right now.

[Anonymous No.20226077]

>1.2k today
>i keep making inconsistencies to edit later
>why did i make multiple pov's and interlinking events!
Sometimes i wonder if i should just write a romcom.

[Anonymous No.20226094]

>>20224268
>i've
I've
>a single, unintentional
Unnecessary comma
>in current year
In the current year
>using text to communicate than ever
more people than ever
>it should be as easy as breathing to write without grammatical error
errors

[Anonymous No.20226111]

>>20223881
>how many words have you written today?
Oh, we're comparing penises now? Well, I've written a lot more today than you on your lolphone and it was significantly more pleasant too.

[Anonymous No.20226112]

>>20223612
I see where your problem is. Try this instead
>get opening idea
>make an outline
>only start writing after you have a full outline
>finish

[Anonymous No.20226125]

>tfw you work on a story for a whole month only to realise that it's dog shit
it happens I've done it before but fuck me I just realised then god this is boring cunt and it's the third time I've re-written it as well. I just spent today finishing it so I could finally say it's finished but I need to move on.

[Anonymous No.20226151]

>>20226125
Post it,

[Anonymous No.20226174]

>>20226151
For the better part of the afternoon, Dougy handled the tractor slowly around fields five and six in order to keep his distance from the clubhouse. The new rotary mower attached to the back pulled nicely, and he was pleased to see how neatly it dispersed of its grass clippings along each lap around the pitch. But more the joy for Dougy was that without any more delays caused by maintenance, he could be certain of the time it would take him to finish each field throughout the day, and enjoying the predictability of a working routine (that left room for the mind wander), he could safely leave easier jobs more preferable for the afternoon until last, once everything else was done. So, once he had finished the final lap on field number six, he was able to raise the blades on the mower (all that was required was for him to pull the lever beside his seat) and head steadily towards the shed to finish up for the day, knowing roughly what time it was. Once he had shut the mower down, the faded roar of the engine left a numbness in his ears that made everything seem very quiet. Familiar pins and needles lingered in the soles of his boots as he climbed down onto the concrete, and the corrugated walls of the work shed rang softly with the last of their reverb, which meant that the day had come to an end.

Before finishing up, he stopped in briefly at the office. He did not have anything major left to sort out, but leaving without fixing his timesheets or scanning memos left on the board felt too eager and somehow irresponsible. A few plaster walls, basic and unpainted, made up their office space (thought of as the lunch room by some) in the corner of the shed. Grey, dead grass and small winds of dirt and sand sidled along the corners of the floor and underneath his desk. He sat for a moment under the breeze of the box air-conditioner and ran his hands through his hair and stretched the skin around his eyes and forehead with troubled expressions that conveyed how much there was to do tomorrow.
It grew closer to the evening now than the afternoon, his habit of staying late was becoming lazy more than it was proactive—he was too inert to do anything else but linger around. Through the window, swaths of fruit bats carried across the sky from the mangroves along the creek beneath the airport in West Mackay. Crows were flying, too. Distant caws that faded softly with each repetition. Cold, grey clouds seemed painted askew along the horizon, and blood orange trails of sunlight coagulated in the gloomy dust of their bellies.

[Anonymous No.20226238]

Any of you guys write short stories or just jump into novels you will never finish?

[Anonymous No.20226241]

>>20222764
I just keep adding things to the one I'm writing.

[Anonymous No.20226245]

Do you guys think writing shitty fiction will make your writing worse? I have a guilty pleasure for 40k books and am worried that reading them will make my already shit writing shittier.

[Anonymous No.20226256]

>>20226238
I only write short stories, probably only ever will. They're really what I read most as well. It's an incredible form.

[Anonymous No.20226269]

>>20226245
As long as you take it as a lesson on how not to write, you should be fine.

[Anonymous No.20226288]

>>20226245
>>20226269
Looking at bad examples is not a good way of learning, because human brain can't really process things in reverse. Even if you consciously tell yourself, "don't do this", the pattern is copied into your head anyway.

[Anonymous No.20226295]

>>20226245
I mean to say READING shitty fiction^

[Anonymous No.20226539]

>>20226245
I don't know, nobody reads online fiction to read moby dick...
and most of the books that actually sell today are not the big 'oh my god this is so good' books, so is there a point in reading good fiction anyway?

[Anonymous No.20226541]

>>20226241
Stop cultivating and start harvesting!

[Anonymous No.20226545]

>>20226541
What does that even mean?

[Anonymous No.20226589]

>>20226545
I think he means to start editing.
But he did say it in a very gay way

[Anonymous No.20226672]

When introducing an LGBT+ character is it best to have them announce their queerness up front … like in real life? It feels so shallow and fake, but in my experience that’s true of most LGBT+ people.

[Anonymous No.20226675]

>>20226672
yeah, make sure you introduce all of your LGBT+ characters in the first couple of pages too, so that you reader knows up-front he's in for a shallow and fake experience, and can therefore put down the book quickly and without getting even slightly invested.

[Anonymous No.20226683]

>>20226672
If your goal is to make the character a vacuous nonce then yes. The biggest red flag you can give someone imo is to flash your nuts in their face, and talking about who you wanna fuck when first meeting them definitely constitutes a sack flash. If you really need a fag character, then make their faggyness be a personality trait, but don't frontload it or randomly say it for no reason. Use it as a story element, or motivator, or whatever, but don't just say "Oh by the way, I'm Gaylord McNiggerson, and I love cock." . It's annoying.

[Anonymous No.20226686]

>>20226245
Reading shouldn't have that large of an effect if you know it's "trash."
>>20226672
If it's not important right at that moment it shouldn't come up. Don't know many gay people though.

[Anonymous No.20226688]

>>20226683
this. and if the people "in real life" seem to do things that are shallow and fake, then look at it as an opportunity to do something that's tasteful and real. don't just pander to falsity and zeitgeist. if you think something is fake and gay, let it be fucking fake and gay, for fuck's sake. an author has no obligation to pander to the real world. if you want to see gladhanding homos who signal their LBGT+ status at every opportunity, then feel free to go outside and meet them. no reason to bring people like that into literature.

[Anonymous No.20226696]

>>20226672
>like in real life?
Jesus, what homos are you talking to? This has NEVER happened to me. You either know right away or you find out when the dude starts talking about his boyfriend. Is this a regional thing? Where do you live?

[Anonymous No.20226715]

>>20226696
>Where do you live?
In his mom's basement, scared the LGBT+ people rape him if he goes out

[Anonymous No.20226730]

fuck it, litrpg here i come!

[Anonymous No.20226822]

>>20225832
Choose violence, and hate crimes.

[Anonymous No.20226837]

>>20225832
My last chapter included the detective beating an elderly man to death with a poker and 5 people getting shot dead.
Violence is bad.

[Anonymous No.20226841]

>>20226672
You have two types of gays. Those that are incidentally gay (I'm a businessman who is also gay) and those that are primarily gay (I'm a gay businessman). How they frame their identity with their sexual orientation usually determines how much I decide to hate them.

[Anonymous No.20226988]

>>20226245
I think it never hurts to read broadly, just don't let a narrow niche like that make up the last +3 books in a row you've read. If so you need to dive into a new genre you never thought you'd like and find something to love there.

>>20226539
To play devils advocate if the biggest sellers are Sanderson and romance/bondage shit for women - it could be argued that reading high brow lit could be contaminating your work

>>20226841
>I'm gay
Stopped reading right there

[Anonymous No.20227006]

>>20221500
The only redeeming feature of schizoid screeds like this - and what yours is lacking - is those fleeting moments of absolute clarity bordering on poetic before plummeting back into the fray. See 'Finnegans Wake' for examples.

>The fall (bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthur- nuk!) of a once wallstrait oldparr is retaled early in bed and later on life down through all christian minstrelsy. The great fall of the offwall entailed at such short notice the pftjschute of Finnegan, erse solid man, that the humptyhillhead of humself prumptly sends an unquiring one well to the west in quest of his tumptytumtoes: and their upturnpikepointandplace is at the knock out in the park WHERE ORANGES HAVE BEEN LAID TO RUST UPON THE GREEN SINCE devlinsfirst loved livvy.

[Anonymous No.20227014]

>>20226174
You're right, this is very boring, but because nothing is happening. Worse yet, it doesn't seem like these descriptions are setting us up for anything. It reads like a vignette, and nothing more.

[Anonymous No.20227031]

>>20226539
>most of the books that actually sell today are not the big 'oh my god this is so good' books
this has almost always been the case. the exception is a guy like cormac, who -- at the tail-end of a very long career, and as an old man -- can publish a very good book and still make reasonable money off it. since the death of aristocratic patronage, artists have been creating fantastic art to be discovered only shortly before or after they die. the reason to try to make an incredible, important work at the expense of contemporary monetary success has been the same for a couple-hundred years now: because you care about it more than contemporary success and monetary reward.

[Anonymous No.20227038]

>>20227014
There's 8000 more words so more occurs bet yes it's a lot of this shit. It's fine I'll move in, I've done better.

[Anonymous No.20227058]

>>20227038
The writing's not bad by any means, but there's no sense of purpose to it. Good luck, fren.

[Anonymous No.20227114]

>>20226174
For me, there's no intrigue, no mystery, no purpose. It's like reading a farmer's diary out of context. Your writing itself is good, it's descriptive and pleasant, but yes, very boring, and it's boring because there is nothing hooking me and compelling me to continue. Like, what does that farmer want? Does he have financial trouble? Does he stay late to hide from a wife he is having difficulty with? Is he hiding a degenerative disease? Is he an alcoholic? What does he want?

[Anonymous No.20227330]

>>20226174
Very well written - clear language and evocative of place/experiences.

Could have used a metaphor/simile in paragraph 1 to emphasize the grace of what he was doing spreading seeds or driving (which I interpreted as your intention, I may be wrong). First paragraph just leans a bit too literal for my taste.

Regarding "boringness" it's all about context. This part would be great as a scene to ground us in the character/place but what is the arc of the character? I would hope the scene preceding or following would focus on that.

[Anonymous No.20227449]

I feel like I repeated the same event three times already. Let me explain.
>Protagonist has a near death experience but comes back as a near-mindless traumatized husk to fight his near-killer.
>One of the cast members fights one of the most dangerous characters in the story and wins, but passes from his injuries shortly afterwards.
>Eldritch horror who had been killing tons of people gets BTFO'd by a neutral cast member.
Is it stupid to have 3 big damn hero moments with different characters?

[Anonymous No.20227485]

>>20227449
>big damn hero moments
TVTropes has ruined your brain. Stop thinking like this.

[Anonymous No.20227508]

>>20227485
It's the only term for it

[Anonymous No.20227519]

>>20227508
This is the problem, you think you need a term. You think there are boxes to tick. Free yourself from that cancer and write what's natural to the characters, not what would be categorized "correctly" by some stupid website run by actually autistic people

[Anonymous No.20227531]

>>20227519
What the fuck else am I going to describe
>Character stops a villain by barging in
as?

[Anonymous No.20227541]

>>20224268
In current year

[Anonymous No.20227545]

>>20227531
The fact that you would ask that means you didn't understand my post. I fear there may be no hope for you.
You don't need to describe it "as" anything. You can just describe it. You don't need to wonder if it subverts, deconstructs, reconstructs, averts or plays a trope straight, you can just focus on whether you're writing well or not, if the actions are true to the characters or not, if what happens is natural consequence of what has come before or not.
TVTropes is not your friend. It is not a tool that can help you. It's a cesspool of autism and anal retentiveness that merely reduces everything to internet era buzzwords, vivisecting your narrative and killing it before it even develops.
You will never write a living, breathing story if all you're concerned with are arbitrary pop-culture references and how the individual elements of your writing fit in with them.

[Anonymous No.20227554]

>>20227541
hello, newfriend

[Anonymous No.20227555]

>>20227449
Your description of the events doesn’t sound like they are the same

[Anonymous No.20227561]

>>20227449
I don't even see the consistent thread. People were killed essentially in two battles and in another battle a monster is killed?

>>20227519
>>20227545
But he has to order his pinchpoints within a larger arc based framework aligned with the heroes journey for key character archetypes (heroic, best doggo, naughty cat-girl, and villainous) or else the tropes will not align in a propitious manner by the 12% mark!

[Anonymous No.20227571]

>>20227561
Man, that time someone wrote a short piece about a guy writing a book following some kind of Sanderson rules sure was fun.

[Anonymous No.20227616]

Anyone notice any stories completely dropped from other anons? I remember one anon posted about monsters and haven't heard a post about it in weeks.

[Anonymous No.20227619]

>>20227449
I'll say this. Nothing pissed people off more in GoT than not seeing Jon Snow fight the Walker in the end. Not even one cross of swords.

Arya killing is fine, but everyone wanted a big hero moment with Jon vs WW

[Anonymous No.20227637]

>>20227616
kaijuanon? he was in the last thread or the one before. And I'm just not posting all my chapter updates each time here, maybe once a month, now.

[Anonymous No.20227643]

>>20227555
But they are

[Anonymous No.20227650]

>>20227643
Maybe they're not. Maybe you're only thinking they are because your ability to see nuance has been destroyed by a learned habit of categorizing everything based on TVTropes.

[Anonymous No.20227682]

>>20227650
What the fuck else am I going to call it when relaying it to you? Guy-intervenes-other-guy?

[Anonymous No.20227688]

>>20227682
First one isn't that, second one doesn't sound like it's anybody barging in to save anybody, and the third one seems like "big monster encounters the big badass neutral character". Those aren't really all that similar.

[Anonymous No.20227696]

>>20227688
I don't really consider that character "Badass."

[Anonymous No.20227700]

>>20227696
Then elaborate on your scenes, because your summaries sound like they're not at all the same sort of scenes.

[Anonymous No.20227701]

>>20227571
(I've been found out)

>>20227616
It's also hard to share longer projects past chapter 1. If I share chapter 10 of a story nobody knows all the responses will be "who is character x? Why are we doing y?". Granted you also have to assume 90% of projects are abandoned within a week.

[Anonymous No.20227708]

>>20227682
This is the third time I'm telling you not to call it anything. Just tell us what happens. You don't need Approved Phrases to be handed down to you from The Powers That Be. Think for yourself. Do not take prepackaged thoughts and try to fit your work into the boxes they shape.

[Anonymous No.20227712]

>>20227701
>I've been found out
You did it well, fren.

[Anonymous No.20227717]

>>20227701
>90% of projects are abandoned within a week
i've been at mine for over a year now. feelsgoodman.

[Anonymous No.20227726]

>>20227701
I posted a chapter 1 of my work a few threads back, and the feedback and my own insecurities led me to more-or-less rethink the premise somehwat. It's still fairly close to what it was, just a few tweaks to give characters actual motivation, but I'm mostly plotting out the initial arc as-is. And I've just not been in the mood to write, personally.

[Anonymous No.20227793]

More fantasy drivel to trigger you stupid faggots.
https://pastebin.com/uw6WGREz

[Anonymous No.20227812]

>>20227643
1 is someone being bad, but getting better for a fight.
2 is someone fighting, then becoming bad
3 is just a fight

I don’t understand your question, these don’t seem all that similar

[Anonymous No.20227861]

>>20227616
I've been lurking these threads from the beginning, but I've never seen any anon actually complete a (non-short) story

[Anonymous No.20227912]

>>20227861
The Emilyanon finished his book. Hell I gave him a 5* review. To be honest it was a decent read. There's some really good parts, then some really boring parts.

[Anonymous No.20227943]

>>20227712
Thank you kind anon, I still intend to do a proper edit pass (and add 2 more references) and repost it next time it's relevant.

>>20227717
I salute your endurance my good sir.

>>20227726
Rewriting chapters from scratch is the best learning tool for me at least. Don't view it as a failure/lost time, you're paying for an education with effort.

[Anonymous No.20227954]

>>20227943
>you're paying for an education with effort
I suppose so. It's a matter of getting proper plot events in mind for writing an outline I'm currently troubled with. I can think of a "next they'll do X" thing after the start, but beyond that I'm a little stumped. I suppose an antagonistic force of some sort is needed, so I should work on bigging those up.

[Anonymous No.20228176]

>>20227708
Yeah, but having the same event happen 3 times is stupid

[Anonymous No.20228232]

>>20228176
But it's not the same thing.

[Anonymous No.20228242]

>>20228176
It's not the same event. It just fucking isn't get it through your goddamn skull.
1. Guy has near death experience. Survives to get revenge.
2. Guy kills some other guy, and dies soon after.
3. Monster gets killed.
These are three very different events. If the way you wrote these three events are making them feel samey to you then you should rewrite one or two of them to make them feel different.

[Anonymous No.20228337]

>>20228242
>>20228232
But if they are able to be categorized into the same specific trope then they are, obviously, the same event.

[Anonymous No.20228382]

>>20228337
They're not even the same trope. If you wanna use TV Tropes names, they're a Superpowered Evil Side, a Heroic Sacrifice and... I dunno what the third one would fall under. It's broad as hell.

[Anonymous No.20228411]

I'm stuck on which way to go. Do i write a chapter on their work or should it just be a quick transition paragraphs then
>6 months passed.

[Anonymous No.20228426]

>>20228411
I think 6 months passed works better.

[Anonymous No.20228427]

>>20228411
Depends how much it matters to the story. Does he meet anybody there that matters, does the work affect him more than can be expected, etc.

[Anonymous No.20228727]

>>20228242
I think that's what I wanted to say. I feel the framing of
>Guy is fucking things up
>Other guy confronts him and wins
Is a bit much. I should frame the confrontations between the characters in a variety of contexts.

[Anonymous No.20228792]

my books is doing great, now that I got 2 NEW readers I won't post in this SHIT ASS FUCKING THREAD AGAIN
don't @ me losers

[Anonymous No.20228904]

>>20228727
But actually, to add onto that, I think the fights have some significance in terms of story themes.
>A character who, due to being new to emotions and self-awareness, is incredibly purposeless. This happens because of him almost dying at the hands of a guy who had a distinct goal and purpose in life who had acted as a pseudo-mentor figure because he had watched and come to understand certain facts about life. The hero is internally warring and purposeless, the villain is peaceful and understands himself. Purposeless against Purpose.
>Another character who also shared the "Mentor figure" role, only he indirectly showed the hero what compassion and the beauty in the world really looked like. He goes up against a person who has a very distinct, natural goal, but it's one that causes harm to those around him. And so he loses his life going up against a force of nature. Compassion equates Nature.
>The third one is surprisingly simple in a way. A character who had a super lofty and abstract goal bought upon by his understanding of the suffering in the world is killed by a character who is the direct consequence of a real thing that happens. Reality shatters Fantasy.
I feel like "Indirect ideological conflict isn't really supposed to be the nature of every single fight in the story, but I don't know if I got something interesting on my hands here.

[Anonymous No.20228913]

I wonder how emilyanon's book is doing.

[Anonymous No.20228958]

>>20221500
the ending feels misplaced. I think if you want to say something like that, it would be better to disperse it throughout. Might just be a personal style preference though.

t. retard who has written nothing of value

[Anonymous No.20229288]

>>20228913
Hi Anon!
There are 12 books floating in the world somewhere.

[Anonymous No.20229304]

>>20229288
Wait. People are actually ordering paperback copies? Fascinating.

[Anonymous No.20229325]

>>20229304
to be fair my mom probably bought 3 or so. But i did convince the local library to order a copy. Haha

[Anonymous No.20229341]

>>20229288
I'm unemployed so I won't be able to buy one right now but when things turn around I'll order myself a copy.

[Anonymous No.20229372]

>>20229325
The librarypill is super based. Mine doesn't have a local author's program anymore, but they used to. People just didn't attend them.

[Anonymous No.20229581]

I find it funny that I could actually outline the relationships each character has with each other visually, but it would look like a shipping chart

[Anonymous No.20229585]

>Writing a screeplay
>Have to write a cute scene between between a husband and wife
>Can't because I have no personal experience to base it on
I don't know how people in relationships talk to each other.

[Anonymous No.20229601]

"It was like watching a movie."
How does this shit get published?
"They started moving and fighting." HOW were they moving? I thought the rule was show dont tell.
I can accept pushing for poc writers and characters but is this really the best you could find?

[Anonymous No.20229604]

>>20229585
>writing a screenplay
>isn't about you living close to the loud house characters
>isn't millions of words long
might as well give up now

[Anonymous No.20229615]

>>20229601
Your average 12 year old do not want books that read like moby dick. They want lia park and the missing jewels level writing.

[Anonymous No.20229627]

how the fuck do you actually write something
i try using google drive because it was convenient when i was in school, but the integration with grammarly is shit and keeps breaking once you get more than like 10,000 words
work gives me office365 for free but it keeps trying to do the same shit and be a cloud browser-based thing
why is everything a web service instead of a program i can actually use

so, what is out there that is an actual desktop software option in 2022, that i can integrate with grammarly or that has it's own quite functional grammar suggestion engine

[Anonymous No.20229652]

>>20229581
Well man, if it'll help you than do it. Do what you need to help and do not give a fuck about how weird or embarrassing it is.

[Anonymous No.20229820]

>>20229627
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIaTRIhyX6U
Libre office is free. No idea on the grammar stuff.

[Anonymous No.20229946]

>>20227954
Take the discovery writer pill, it's easier to decide what comes next when you're flexible to what the story needs tonally or how characters interact on the page. You still should have a clearly outlined inciting incident, midpoint, and end point to give you a guiding star to write against - never had more fun or better writing than since I switched.

>>20229627
Write each chapter in it's own google doc and/or use Libre office as the other anon said. Also learn to write without Grammerly unless you're ESL

[Anonymous No.20230033]

>>20229946
im writing each chapter in its own doc
it is breaking, and it seems to be because it is too long anyways
the chapter i'm editing tonight is ~8300 words and the grammarly suggeestions aren't jumping me to the context in the document

>Also learn to write without Grammerly unless you're ESL
why do people think this is a reasonable suggestion
yeah man, sure, i'll just literally never make a typo or mistake ever again so that way i dont need a spellchecker

[Anonymous No.20230041]

New neighborhood is super quiet until there's a full moon and this one dog freaks out for hours. All and all I feel like I can enjoy longer reading and writing sessions.
>>20229288
I remember the thread of you looking for cover advice. I will check it out and that eggplant anon book forgot what it was.

[Anonymous No.20230051]

>>20230041
Here's a strange writing prompt
A dog becomes a werehuman. Nyuk nyuk nyuk

[Anonymous No.20230056]

I'm retarded, only now that I took an interest in writing in english (I'm ESL) I realized that the word "i" is always capitalized, despite having read multiple books in english and "knowing" english for years, only now I have noticed that shit, I have been doing it wrong for years. It's over, I'm retarded.

[Anonymous No.20230086]

>>20230051
That's actually a short story I started but it was more along the lines of sublimating my own apprehension that my career has unwittingly altered someones mind and life. Didnt finish it yet as I went back to the novel and a flash fiction.

[Anonymous No.20230089]

>>20230056
Protip, many native English speakers are awful with the written word. I could show you text or facebook posts that may seem "ESL."

[Anonymous No.20230106]

>>20230056
Its okay anon, English is my first language but some appropriate things I refuse to always obey. For example, I hate writing "it smells of X" because it just sounds awful, no one I know says it like that. They say "it smells like X" or "can you smell X?" After reading stuff like Faulkner and McCarthy I really don't care for getting everything right like its an English class essay. I do want to be more deliberate with those spelling and grammar choices.

[Anonymous No.20230124]

>>20226094
based

>>20226288
I find bad works to be inspiring...because if they can get published/filmed/etc., why can't I?

>>20227619
Not /tv/
But the hour-and-a-half waste of pointless action, before Arya comes out of nowhere and does the only thing that matters, was more annoying.

>>20227861
There have been several anons that completed a non-short story.
In addition to recent Emilyanon, there was Son Of The Sun, Salvation On Peril Island, The Shitkickers, Call Of The Crocodile...

>>20228792
You've already forgotten those who helped you get where you are.
Don't come crawling back to us.

>>20229325
Damn...I really thought the library would only want a free copy.
Good work!

>>20229615
To heck with 12 year olds. They don't have any money.

>>20230051
I knew there had to be an explanation for those creepy people that smile all the time.

[Anonymous No.20230128]

>>20221640
Impossible. Strides are still being made. Has anybody written Umineko before Umineko. Bullshit. And yet it revitalized an entire generation's interest in mystery novels. Come to find, upon asking for classic recommendations, that the genre of mysteries is wide as the ocean, but deep as a puddle.
Anyone can write a book that fits a theme. How about writing a book that changes things for real?

[Anonymous No.20230137]

>>20229341
Thanks! Keep going, I'll buy your book too.

[Anonymous No.20230141]

>>20230033
>+8k chapters
That's pretty damn long for a chapter famalama

>never make a typo or mistake ever again
I guess if it helps you, I find it most can be caught on an initial proofread edit/pass

[Anonymous No.20230413]

I don't know if I'm going too far with the disturbing shit.

[Anonymous No.20230524]

>>20230413
If you're having to question whether your work contains too much vulgarity, then you can be rest assured that it does. It demonstrates an innate lack of authenticity—vulgarity for vulgarity's sake. If the disturbing elements were truly germane to the story you wouldn't need question its reason for being there.

[Anonymous No.20230526]

>>20230413
Post your writing, you probably aren't going far enough; crank it to 11 Anon!

[Anonymous No.20230537]

Does /lit/ correct their writing as they go or let grammarly sift through it once the chapter is done? Personally, I can't stand seeing things spelled incorrectly as I write

[Anonymous No.20230549]

>>20230537
I will fixate on one paragraph for over an hour before I'm truly satisfied. And no, I have never finished any work—let this be a lesson to you.

[Anonymous No.20230599]

>>20230537
I always do grammar in-line checks. The only time I don't is if I'm feeling really emotionally flooded/distracted and I use writing as a vent to get focus. Usually I'll mix up words and be so imprecise that the meaning of sentences are lost to anyone but me, who knows what I meant. Some examples.
>He's got the great color of fruit in his veins (He's got a good personality)
>In this cinnamon cardamom is the spice way of life fun thing (In this situation, it's better to have fun than be serious)
>The twirly whirly in particular makes the fun zone buzz buzz (I like the ferris wheel at carnivals)

[Anonymous No.20230600]

>>20230599
based esoteric triplespeak anon

[Anonymous No.20230610]

>>20230537
>grammarly
what is this grammerly shit? I use openoffice which has an integrated spellchecker like I imagine every piece of writing software does from word perfect to vim.
>worrying about a red underline on words
I also use nonenglish and create compound words that may or may not be in the spellcheck's software. you should be smarter than the computer anon. its a tool to help you, not a shackle

[Anonymous No.20230641]

>>20230524
Like, does this sound like too much in terms of concept?
>A massive flesh-flower that can sprout limbs and mouths. It consumes hearts

[Anonymous No.20230673]

>>20230124
>There have been several anons that completed a non-short story.
In addition to recent Emilyanon, there was Son Of The Sun, Salvation On Peril Island, The Shitkickers, Call Of The Crocodile...
Has anyone even bought any of the books?

[Anonymous No.20230685]

>>20230641
You can't really be too vulgar when comes to proof of concept. It's all about how you implement that concept in your story. It's possible to write about a dirty topic in a sterile manner, and vice versa.

[Anonymous No.20230691]

i wish writing was still my autistic special interest. i haven't been able to focus on my writing for more than a short period of time since

[Anonymous No.20230832]

>>20230685
I feel the inherent way it does things is gross as fuck

[Anonymous No.20230868]

How do fanfic writers deal with world building? I changed a little detail from before the story begin and I've spent months trying to think about every single ramification this change would bring to the world.

[Anonymous No.20230880]

>>20230868
the forbidden technique: the high school AU

[Anonymous No.20230884]

>wrote "any time soon?" instead of "anytime soon?"

[Anonymous No.20230897]

>>20230868
kill yourself.
>>>/trash/

[Anonymous No.20230920]

I'm trying to fine tune a concept in my fantasy story and it's pretty loose so bear with me.
So in this world I'm writing I have a few different systems of magic going on, most of them racially based. I wanted humans in this story to not have any inherent magical ability and be masters of industry and commerce instead in the world. However I wanted to have a type of small "holy order" with human paladin and witch types in the story, but instead of drawing their power from a patron deity they get it from within themselves powered by their will or "spirit". Like for the paladin types they would have soul-bound weapons that can burn away evil and the witch types taking on more of a support role with healing and defensive magic.
Essentially it would be a kind of magic that isn't insanely powerful, but it's not easily obtained either to balance it out.
Thoughts on how to better fine tune it?

[Anonymous No.20230941]

>>20230920
i think one thing you really want to do is decide on why and how it's actually difficult to obtain relative to other types of magic. normally any magic isn't just easy and natural and it's gonna take a lot of training and experience. but if you want this to be confined to only a special subset of humanity instead of being a defining trait of the race, you want to draw the line.

personally I would have the paladin types make an obvious, difficult sacrifice as a prerequisite for getting magical power. monklike vows of asceticism or detachment from possessions is my first instinct, as it's antithetical to the mercantile focus of the rest of humanity and it gives you a bit of a philosophy question to ponder

[Anonymous No.20230965]

>>20230941
Since I wanted to include witches in this particular sect that don't use weapons my friend suggested I could go with Warlock rules in 5e, how they make a contract with a deity or powerful creature in exchange for power.
But you're not far off from what I was thinking for the paladin types, I figure that binding your soul to your weapon of choice was a major sacrifice that had to be made. Being similar to paladins I figured they'd have a religious adherence to their own code of morality, primarily abandoning all other things (like love, wealth, etc) in the pursuit of purging the world of the Great Evil (or the BBEG of the story).

[Anonymous No.20230995]

>>20230965
imo it needs to be a sacrifice that makes them unable to participate in the normal Human industrial/mercantile/commercial lifestyle, which would be enough to explain why most humans don't do it . I think you would still be able to use soul-binding or blood contracts separately (contracts with Evil or Dangerous things would probably be the path to 'magic' for those who are unwilling to give up earthly attachments, but just the opposite, willing to give up something of their soul in exchange for a bit more wealth and power. and most people take the middle path, they're not willing to really make a sacrifice but they hang onto some aspect of their 'soul' as they perceive it.

[Anonymous No.20231055]

>>20230995
I think that's a good point, making them sacrifice not only their spiritual freedom but also their ability to properly participate in society as a whole.
I'm considering making the witch types get their power through a faustian bargain, and in turn they can be the ones who do the soul binding for the paladin types.

[Anonymous No.20231083]

>finally let my mom read my novel
>"It's a bit derivative...don't you think?"
NO MOM I DON'T THINK THAT. IF I THOUGHT THAT I WOULDN'T HAVE WRITTEN IT

[Anonymous No.20231088]

>>20231083
When my mom read my novel she asked me if I had gotten a job yet...

[Anonymous No.20231097]

>>20230920
>>20230941
Why not just have the paladin magic scale with faith? If a guy lives virtuously and is committed to the duty, his weapon enchantments work better and do cooler stuff. If he goes out drinking and whoring in secret, no mojo. It could result in interesting character dynamics, like "gee, how come our commander never draws his sword?" "Well, you know, he's just that badass!" when actually it's because the sword does nothing.

[Anonymous No.20231105]

>>20230537
>Personally, I can't stand seeing things spelled incorrectly as I write
Then why do you write them incorrectly? If you can see it right away

[Anonymous No.20231120]

>>20230920
The way to use their powers is to burn their souls. Basically the more they burn the stronger they are and the faster they die.
Paladins are basically religious fanatics brought up on the idea that sacrificing themselves for the human realm is their purpose in life. The way they do it is by their weapon, maybe have the weapon be bonded by a witch having to sacrifice herself willingly.
Witches do not really burn their soul but take on the opposite effect of their healing/support magics. So if they did something to augment the speed of the paladins, the witch gets slower; if she healed someone, she gets injured. This keeps going until such a time where she basically a disfigured statue and a ritual is done in that she sacrifices herself to bond a weapon to a future paladin. This could also mean that all paladin weapons are named after witches.

Both witches and paladins are seen as weapons against external threats of the human realm. Could be also have the religion say that witches only go to heaven if they become bonded weapons and paladins only go if they die in battle.

[Anonymous No.20231155]

>>20230995
>>20230920
>>20231120
Wait.. .is this that Adah story?

[Anonymous No.20231193]

>>20231097
I really like this idea as a way to explain how they wield their power, and how they can get bursts of power against more deadly foes and they're backed against a wall.
>>20231120
I really fucking love this idea, especially the part about how a witch's healing magic transfers the pain of others onto themselves. The sacrificing part is really really cool too.
Although for the paladins instead of making them die faster how about have it be like the Kaioken in some extreme instances where their "battle soul" burns so hot that they actually take damage the longer they're in that kind of state.

[Anonymous No.20231235]

>>20231193
>I really like this idea as a way to explain how they wield their power, and how they can get bursts of power against more deadly foes and they're backed against a wall.

[Anonymous No.20231236]

>>20231155
Which Adah story?

>>20231193
That sounds a lot better and will make them less disposable. Maybe mix the ideas and have the battle soul be unlocked by living a monk lifestyle and achieving enlightenment and have people see it as communion with their god and the reason they die is that no man can contain the power of god or something along those lines.

[Anonymous No.20231261]

>>20231236
>have the battle soul be unlocked by living a monk lifestyle and achieving enlightenment and have people see it as communion with their god and the reason they die is that no man can contain the power of god or something along those lines
Seriously though, did you guys get kicked out of /sffg/ or something? This entire discussion chain could have easily taken place on r*ddit.

[Anonymous No.20231266]

>>20231235
>>20231261
Posting basedjaks makes it extremely apparent that you have nothing to contribute not only to this thread, but this entire board in general.
Fuck off back to /trash/ where you belong

[Anonymous No.20231267]

>>20231083
>>20231088
>letting your mom read your writing
I'd be way too embarrassed. How are you both so low inhibition?

[Anonymous No.20231277]

>>20231236
>Which Adah story?
there's an Anon that wrote about Paladins drawing mana from the air to power themselves up, Super Saiyan style. But since you have no idea what that story is, you're a different anon.

[Anonymous No.20231285]

>>20231236
I think it's a solid plan too, like combining a righteous spirit with the will to protect all life emboldened by magic but still at a cost to the user itself depending on how much power is used.

[Anonymous No.20231288]

'it' makes you numb.
'it' bothers you.
so instead of letting others see
how numb you really are,
you pretend that you are
normal,
and can behave as one
that doesn't do 'it.'
always afraid of tipping us off that you do 'it.'
ofcourse you can't pretend, and merely
become a rash person.
someone others would rather not be around.
'it' rules you're life;
makes you someone you're not

so stay away from me
and i wont be disapointed.
like a painting on a wall
you look good if i don't know you.

you don't mean to hurt our feelings,
you're just trying to act normal.
you see, 'it' hurts other people;
were hurt by your addiction.

[Anonymous No.20231293]

>>20231266
>makes it extremely apparent that you have nothing to contribute not only to this thread
It is literally the only response a reasonable person can muster in this situation. You're not talking about writing. You're discussing tropes in genre fiction, and how to navigate them. If you were actually discussing writing itself, I would be happy to discuss it with you. The entire reason I'm making fun of you is because you're dominating the thread with a discussion writers can't easily access. I'm just giving a voice to all the eyes that glaze over when they read about people discussing "battle souls" and monks "containing the power of god". Grow up.

[Anonymous No.20231295]

>>20230920
The Dark Wizard of Donkerk has a system where people draw power from oaths. The harder an oath is to keep, the more your power grows over time. One guy has magic armor that prevents starvation, so he takes an oath not to eat and spends decades being very powerful but going out of his mind with hunger.
I liked the direct intuitive relationship between sacrifice and gain. Hunger is more relatable than giving up part of your soul, and feels less arbitrary.

[Anonymous No.20231309]

>>20231293
lol is that what you consider making fun of people? you're just generally being a faggot and dragging the quality of the thread down, these few posts encompass a small fraction of the entire thread and yet you chose to mald about it like a child
seethe more, you're pathetic

[Anonymous No.20231355]

>>20231288
I don't care what 'it' is, and this poem doesn't make me curious. It reads like an teenage e-girl vaguely gossiping about drama in her discord server more than poetry. I have a question: who are your favorite poets? How often do you read poetry?

I would suggest going back to the basics and trying to understand what poetry actually is before attempting to write it. There's no sense of flow or rhythm here. There's no evidence that the author gives a shit about the beauty of language as an artistic medium, but instead chose it because it doesn't ostensibly require any discipline. After all, everyone knows how to use language at some very basic level. It doesn't require years of practice as do musical instruments or painting.

[Anonymous No.20231371]

>>20231295
That is a pretty interesting take, but I don't think that would gel nicely with the system I have in mind.
Although from what has already been discussed I'm definitely leaning towards the sacrificial aspect of it all, not giving up bits of your soul per se but the willingness to sacrifice oneself as a whole in their pursuits.

[Anonymous No.20231468]

>>20231355
thanks. at least i know how stupid it is. not that i was trying.
i dont know any poets or read any poetry. im just addicted to porn
'it' is porn
i know how cringe it is to attempt to be "mysterious," and was not my intentions. this is better

porn makes you numb.
porn bothers you.
so instead of letting others see
how numb you really are,
you pretend that you are
normal,
and can behave as one
that doesn't watch porn.
always afraid of tipping us off that you watch it.
of course you can't pretend, and merely
become a rash person.
someone others would rather not be around.
porn rules you're life;
makes you someone you're not

so stay away from me
and i wont be disappointed.
like a painting on a wall
you look good if i don't know you.

you don't mean to hurt our feelings,
you're just trying to act normal.
you see, porn hurts other people;
were hurt by your addiction.

[Anonymous No.20231477]

>>20231267
Back before I learned to read and write myself, I dictated stories that she wrote down for me. It would feel rude to close her out now.

[Anonymous No.20231484]

>>20231088
>>20231083
I've been asking for almost 2 years, neither of my parents have read it.

[Anonymous No.20231556]

>>20231484
I sent the first book of my novel to my mom. She said something like "Well, nobody can say that you can't write. This is fantastically written, but I do wish you'd write about something other than penises."

[Anonymous No.20231577]

>>20231556
whats the difference between a novel and a book

[Anonymous No.20231593]

>>20231577
"Book" here is just a slightly archaic term demarcating parts of the novel I consider more substantial than chapters and sufficiently distinct to warrant more than the label of a part or act.

[Anonymous No.20231651]

>>20231083
I asked my mom to read the first novel I wrote. About once a month, I'd ask if she'd read it yet and she would always tell me she wasn't "in the mood for it" yet. A full year later, I quietly took away the USB drive with the document on it. She never asked what happened to it.

Since then, I've written 11 novels and about 10 short stories and never told her about any of them.

[Anonymous No.20231689]

>>20231651
Print them.

[Anonymous No.20231841]

>A rush of white labcoat passes briefly by. I fall unconscious.
>*****
>Dry static twists and turns in the black-crackling stop. Taut, then torn, then reconstitution for its own tense torsion to be reshorn. The static piper’s at the pillories and waits the crack of dawn whence the hangman strings him up the gallows pole flickering. Ligatured and set alight, the piper’s calling your mercy and his fire clings him writhing in striped monochrome sackcloth dancing at the end of its rope. In the burlap dreams his neck does snap. Skin gives way to twine’s scourging avulsion. A trapdoor’s harsh and repeating clatter against the backstop underneath. Papier-mâché fibers debrided of their fine white starch; soon scattered to the winds of black whimsy. Stone-weighted feet swaying dull and irrational. And the static imagery falls down against the taut black paraffin set to crackle. And to the ear pressed close to liquid mercury’s diminishing ripple, the sound of soft fallout is dry and metallic at its sawtoothed waves’ edges. And the ripples reach their worlds-end and bounce careening back in tight recoil. And all is still. There is an Other that lives in the dark space between the static motes. It is the Other that births hapless pipers to static mannequins atop the deep black crackle. It is the Other that orchestrates the piper’s crimes against laws of the Other’s tailormade construction. The Other passes sentence and presides over the piper’s summary execution. Other is the gallows, and Other is the rope, and the Other sets the lit flame of the piper’s prison slacks. It is the smoke that drifts away and that which burns. It is the Other whose apophasis speaks in burnt pipers and in metallic ripples of radioactive spall. Geiger’s panic wails out their message and we hear only death’s rapid jigstepped approach.
>*****
>“You’re a tight little unit, aren’t you?” asks Bucksneed.
The middle section needs some (probably extensive) line editing, but I'm mostly concerned with the "Other" section. It seems a little heavy-handed to me. Thoughts?

[Anonymous No.20232227]

>>20229946
I was discovery writing before I realised I had no real route to take things, so I went to doing an outline, but it's getting those outlines down. The inciting incident is basically the opening, and I could probably fudge a midpoint if I had a good endpoint.

[Anonymous No.20232510]

Excerpt from in-progress novel:

Richard sat down gently, groping in the dark for the lid to the case of his video camera. Through the window, he could see that the couple were kissing, and had begun to take off each other's clothes. A few moments later, and he was watching the action unfold through his camera's viewfinder; he hadn't missed a salient detail. He held perfectly still as he adjusted the zoom setting; their faces were clear and recognizable. He smiled as he watched them climb onto the bed; they didn't even bother to get under the sheets. His heart soared as he watched the action unfold unambiguously. Finally, he thought, a little luck.
"*Evening*, citizen!" boomed a voice. Richard jolted, nearly dropping the camera, then whirled around to look in the voice's direction. Above him, lit entirely too well by the available starlight, crouched a lone figure in a superhero costume. Richard shuddered as he pondered the vigilante's outfit, wondering who started the trend of wearing swim briefs on the outside, and for the love of God, *why*. He suddenly regained his bearings, and turned back to the hotel window. The couple was still going at it hot and heavy; he hadn't missed any relevant action.
"Oh, you're being a *naughty* boy, aren't you?" the superhero chided. "You're not the normal sort of villain I encounter, but a do-gooder can't be choosy."
"I'm not a villain at *all*!" Richard retorted. "I'm a private detective. This is an adultery case."
"Oh!" exclaimed the costumed crusader. "My mistake." A short pause followed. "Well, I certainly can't blame him for being tempted," he offered. "She's beautiful."
"You idiot," Richard seethed. "*She's* the one who's married. My client is her husband."
"Really?" the superhero piped up, sounding genuinely baffled. "But he's so *gangly*. There's no accounting for taste, I guess."
Richard sighed heavily. "Will you *please* shut up and stop screwing up my evidence?"

[Anonymous No.20232599]

How the FUCK do I write long sentences? And why should I?

[Anonymous No.20232628]

New thread >>20232617

[Anonymous No.20232973]

>>20223612
It's the opposite for me.
>concept so huge it's daunting
>details and simple plot feels muddled
>but anything less wouldn't be appropriate to the themes and ideas I want to convey