Candide

[Anonymous No.21252397]

What am I in for?

[Anonymous No.21252409]

>>21252397
Candide nuts fit in your mouth?

[Anonymous No.21252443]

>>21252409
Shut the fuck up. You think you are funny, huh? Think you are "based". Guess what - you are not. You are nothing but a tiny bug that I can kill anytime I want. You suck. I'm thinking about you right now - heh, what a pathetic human being. Going on an booger collectors feet fetish forum and telling shit to it's anonymous users. I bet you cry in bed, cry because your life is so pathetic. No one loves you. How could anyone loves a thing like you. Fucking pease of shit.

I live in Japan. I can eat tamago sandwich whenever I want. You jelly? Pathetic piece of shit loser lmao I`m typing this on my laptop on the bullet train right at this very moment. What the fuck are you doing? I could cave your heads in with a hammer and literally no one would care.

[Anonymous No.21252482]

>>21252397
kino

[Anonymous No.21252497]

>>21252397
It's pretty bad, but still a little entertaining to read.

[Anonymous No.21252507]

>>21252397
It's great because it'll give you a pass to call Steven Pinker "Panglossian"

[Anonymous No.21252513]

>>21252397
A lot of rape and anti-semitism.

[Anonymous No.21253018]

>>21252482
>>21252497
>>21252507
>>21252513
Lmao evey answer is different

[Anonymous No.21253035]

>>21252397
It’s interesting how Voltaire’s star has faded. He was a celebrity in his day and helped change the course of the world but now he is kinda taken for granted. I’ve never actually read him but I plan to at some point. He is a ways down the line though. Once I get around to Rousseau I’ll probably finally read Voltaire

[Anonymous No.21253052]

>>21252397
>be edgy fedora-tipper
>die in agony, screaming for a priest to absolve you
Lol

[Anonymous No.21253056]

>>21253052
Tradcath larpers are the new fedora tippers

[Anonymous No.21253061]

>>21253056
That's just something fedora tippers say to try and tip the scales back in their favor.

[Anonymous No.21253070]

>>21253018
>>21252513
No, seriously. He also ends up in a shitty shack farm because the Jews swindled him far too many times, stuck with his love interest that has now hit the wall after having been ran through hundreds of penises.
>It was quite natural to imagine that, after so many disasters, Candide, now married to his sweetheart and living with the philosophical Pangloss, the philosophical Martin, the prudent Cacambo and the old woman and, moreover, having brought back so many diamonds from the land of the ancient Incas, would be leading the most agreeable of all possible lives. But he was swindled so many times by the Jews that all he had left in the end was his little farm; his wife, who grew uglier with every day that passed, became shrewish and impossible to live with
>>21253052
Mozart never said that, and Voltaire was not an atheist you retarded papist larper.

[Anonymous No.21253081]

>>21253070
>Mozart never said that
Yes he did.
>Voltaire was not an atheist
Deists are basically fence-sitting atheists, and Voltaire popularized ever midwit fedora rhetorical trick still used today.

[Anonymous No.21253092]

>>21253056
>>21253070
>LARP!
Why do you people think anyone who rejects neo-liberal secularism is a LARPer?

[Anonymous No.21253148]

Life's a garden, dig it. - Voltaire

[Anonymous No.21253274]

>>21252397
Long-ass shitpost

[Anonymous No.21253277]

>>21253092
>Neo-liberal
>Voltaire
based retard
>>21253081
>NOOOOOOO YOU HAVE TO WORSHIP SEMITIC DESERT DEMONS

[Anonymous No.21253280]

Cut-off butt cheeks

[Anonymous No.21253293]

>>21252397
Pirate butt sex. And great insults to modern day liberals. Just call them all Dr pangloss or Candide. They won't have a clue what you're talking about

[Anonymous No.21253633]

>>21252397
>>21253274
Basically correct. It's also a deliberate mischaracterization of the philosophy it's claiming to refute. But it's so funny and makes the adherents look like such fags, everyone believed it and didn't bother looking further.
A truly masterful shitpost.

[Anonymous No.21253685]

>>21253277
Voltaire was an agent of British freemasons sent to undermine Catholic France. That's as globohomo as it gets. The fact that he basically writes like a typical redditor is another giveaway. Baudelaire was right, he was a shallow midwit.
>SEMITIC DESERT DEMONS
Should we be gay vikings instead?

[Anonymous No.21253750]

>>21252443
Based?

[Anonymous No.21254873]

>>21253685
Catholics are freemasons you Jew loving retard.

[Anonymous No.21254883]

>>21254873
Freemasonry has been officially condemned by the Church as bordering on heresy for hundreds of years, anon. You might be thinking of Jesuits.

[Anonymous No.21254888]

>>21254883
Jesuits are a huge part of the church. The pope is a Jesuit, and your critique is retarded anyway because Jesuits are the Catholics that Voltaire criticizes the most.

[Anonymous No.21254892]

>>21254888
That was my point. The difference being Jesuits are based, Freemasons are cringe.

[Anonymous No.21255542]

>>21252397
A Tour de France

[Anonymous No.21255589]

>>21253277
>>>Neo-liberal
>>Voltaire
>based retard
you're not smart

[Anonymous No.21255602]

>>21252397
Mozart hated him

[Anonymous No.21255651]

>>21253052
Tradcath larpers really are the new fedora tippers

[Anonymous No.21255702]

>>21255589
And you're an absolute imbecile. Why do you hate Thatcher, and what does she have to do with Candide or Voltaire, you mongoloid nigger ape?

[Anonymous No.21255841]

>>21253052
>die in agony, screaming for a priest to absolve you
Christcuck slander

Meanwhile:
>According to one story of his last words, when the priest urged him to renounce Satan, he replied, "This is no time to make new enemies."

[Anonymous No.21256068]

>>21252397
Birth of illuminati

[Anonymous No.21256123]

>>21252397
fun

[Anonymous No.21256216]

>>21256123
How?

[Anonymous No.21256232]

>>21253035
>I’ve never actually read him but I plan to at some point
It's so tiring. Why are you even giving your shitty opinion then ?

[Anonymous No.21256252]

>>21256232
He didn’t give an opinion on Voltaire’s writing, just public perception

[Anonymous No.21256420]

>>21252443
>>I live in Japan.
>live
>implying you weren't born there
>implying you aren't Japanese
>implying you're a white dude who moved to Japan because you watch trannime and can't even get ugly white chicks
Not the own you thought it was, weeb.

[Anonymous No.21256423]

>>21255589
>Hon hon le baguette, mon cheri
Go eat some frog legs and get raped by Somalis, Whiteflagger.

[Anonymous No.21256431]

>>21253148
Wow I never knew Voltaire was the inspiration behind Rascal Flatts hit song "Life is a Highway".

[Anonymous No.21256924]

>>21252397
Read it.

[Anonymous No.21256969]

>>21255841
>cute quote made hours before death
Okay, now let's look at his actual dying words.
>
Home/Salty Saints/The Tragic Death of Voltaire the Atheist
Apr
22
2010
The Tragic Death of Voltaire the Atheist
Voltaire

Death is such a beautiful thing, and death is such a horrible thing. It’s actually both, depending wholly on the passing pilgrim. Death is just as beautiful as a saintly life or just as dark as an unbelieving life. No one can doubt that death is inescapable. The words of God have spoken, “… it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment” (Hebrews 9:27). Death is such a landmark of life that it must be designed as one would write their will.

The noted French atheist, Voltaire, died a frightening death. Let me quote for you the exact record as published, “When Voltaire felt the stroke that he realized must terminate in death, he was overpowered with remorse. He at once sent for the priest, and wanted to be ‘reconciled with the church.’ His infidel flatterers hastened to his chamber to prevent his recantation; but it was only to witness his ignominy and their own. He cursed them to their faces; and, as his distress was increased by their presence, he repeatedly and loudly exclaimed, ‘Begone! It is you that have brought me to my present condition. Leave me, I say; begone! What a wretched glory is this which you have produced to me!’

“Hoping to allay his anguish by a written recantation, he had it prepared, signed it, and saw it witnessed. But it was all unavailing. For two months he was tortured with such an agony as led him at times to gnash his teeth in impotent rage against God and man. At other times in plaintive accents, he would plead, ‘O, Christ! O, Lord Jesus!’ Then, turning his face, he would cry out, ‘I must die-abandoned of God and of men!’

[Anonymous No.21257453]

>>21252397
I spent months studying this during college and let me tell you something. It sucks

[Anonymous No.21257530]

>>21257453
How did you spend months on such a short book? Are you mentally impaired? I read it in like an afternoon.

[Anonymous No.21257646]

>>21257530
I said studying which implicitly takes longer than reeeeading
I was doing one 50min class on it a week so yeah it took me a while to analyse the whole thing page-by-page

[Anonymous No.21258464]

>>21252397
I liked the musical.

[Anonymous No.21258500]

>>21252397
it's one of the better high classics of europe.

[Anonymous No.21258617]

Of all the books I had to read for school, this is the one I hated the most.

[Anonymous No.21258638]

>>21252443
now thats what I call 4chan

[Anonymous No.21258693]

>>21252409
Got eeeem

[Anonymous No.21258981]

>>21252443
This, so much this.

[Anonymous No.21259480]

>>21252443
Is this a new pasta?